#🖤 — Matty | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

4ngels0uls · 5 months

Text

Sauna

Don’t like don’t read.

Summary: Jake, johnnie, Tara, sam, colby, Chris, Matt, nick. All go to a public pool and they find out it’s only them there and Johnnie and y/n go into the sauna alone.

Paring: fem!reader x shy!friends!johnnie.

Warnings: use of y/n, cursing, smut, P in v,(let’s pretend reader is on the pill.), jerking off, fingering, yelling, etc (can’t think of them all.)

A/N: the pool is indoor btw😭 I’m also very scared cuz this is my first story shit. Also I haven’t read it so idk if there’s any mistakes.🖤

————————————————————

Y/ns pov.

Me, Johnnie, Jake, Tara, sam, colby, Matt, Chris, and nick all suggest to go to a pool because they haven’t been swimming a quite awhile. “Hey, you guys. We should go swimming.” Tara says. “Yeah we should. I haven’t been swimming in awhile.” Jake answers. Everyone nods their heads wanting to go to a swimming pool.

Tara goes and get ready while searching for a bathing suit along with searching the web for an open swimming pool considering it’s 6:30 pm. Me and Johnnie always sleep over with each other, we’re basically a married couple but we just don’t like… kiss or have sex.. I’ve thought about it before and I’m sure Johnnie has too.

Anyway, I literally share a room with Johnnie so I follow him to his room since I have a bunch of shit in there like my clothes, underwear, bras, and all that shit. Johnnie closes the door behind us. “I bought new bathing suits not that long ago for a summer. Can I model them for you” I ask Johnnie. Me and Johnnie have always been so comfortable with each other we’ve literally seen each others body’s before…

“Yeah, sure model them for me y/n.” Johnnie answers. Alright more horny sounding voice much. I just put the bathing suit on in front of him because, who cares? I stand in front of Johnnie’s bathroom mirror. “I don’t know Johnnie.. I look too fuckin chubby in this one” I tell him. He comes up from behind and hugs me. “You’re never to cubby y/n.” Johnnie says back. I smile. Johnnie slightly grinds on my ass. I think he might have a hard on.

——————

Johnnie’s pov.

Fuck y/ns body makes me fucking feel something. I’m not a perv or anything, it’s just that she’s just so fucking hot and she doesn’t even know. I start grinding on her ass a bit concerning I have an aching rock in my skinny jeans right now.

I accidentally let out a groan while looking at her in the mirror while she looks at me. “Johnnie…?” Y/n asks. “Fuck. I’m sorry y/n… that was fucking gross.. Jesus I’m so sorry” I answer. “I don’t care Johnnie. Rip this shit off me for all I care.” She replies. I get pulled closer to y/n and she gets on her knees in front of me.

End of Johnnie’s pov

——————————-

Y/ns pov

I get on my knees infront of Johnnie. “Hurry before Tara or someone else comes in.” I say. He look’s like he has a shit load of anxiety but shit… I do too… I’ve never had someone’s fucking dick in my mouth… not even down there… I’m still a virgin and he doesn’t even know. He stands in front of me and zips his skinny jeans down. I kitty lick his tip and he groans softly but quietly. I start taking him in my mouth fully till the door opens. It’s nick… fuck sakes. “WHOA!” He yells then slams the door shut. “Fuck shit fuck.” Johnnie starts panicking. “It’s fine Johnnie just pull your pants up and act like nothing happened, you hear me?”

“mhm” he hums. We get our bags and start to get into Tara’s little pink car with only.. 5 fucking seats. Jesus.. “come here my Matty bo bo bear.” Chris says with a smile. Matt gets on Chris’s lap which means I have to sit on Johnnie’s. Johnnie gets in and smiles at me. I smile back and get on his lap and close the door.

While we’re driving I look at nick to see he’s staring at me with a bit of disgust and embarrassment in his eyes. “What the fuck were you guys doing?” Nick mouths to me. “What? Me giving him a bj?” I mouth back. “WHAT!” Jake yells. We all look at him. “YOU GAVE JOHNNIE A BLOW JOB!?” He yells again. oh my god… i look at Jake embarrassed realizing he was reading our lips thru the mirror.

Few minutes later we arrive at the pool and we all check it out and me and Johnnie go to the family bathroom, Cause who gives a fuck? I undress and start putting my bathing suit on. “how did Jake know?” Johnnie breaks the silence. “I was mouthing to nick.” I answer. “oh.” Johnnie responds dryly. We all get into the pool and swim around for a bit till Johnnie asks me, “hey wanna go in the sauna?”

“Sure!” I respond. Me and Johnnie get up from out of the pool and go into the sauna. We sit in the silence for a bit. “can we finish what we were doing?” Johnnie asks. “In here?” I ask. “Please y/n” he begs. I smirk at him begging and go sit in his lap. I kiss him deeply and he grabs my waist and kisses me more deep. More of a meaning kiss. He groans into the kiss. I break the kiss and look into his eyes. “Please y/n” he begs again

I get up off his lap and start going down on my knees and Johnnie looks up and groans once again. I pull his swim shorts down and kiss the tip. “fuck.” He whispers. I take him fully in my mouth fully deep throating him at this point. I look up at him while sucking him off and he looks like he’s holding a moan back. I take my mouth off with a pop and start jerking him off. “make your noises for me.” I tell him. He start whimpering and groaning almost every time I move my hand. “C-close.” He moans out. “Cum on my face handsome.” I tell him.

I’m never the one to take dirty to someone but fuck… Johnnie is fucking hot to not. He starts shooting his hot load all on my face and in my mouth. “fuck y/n” he whispers. He brings my face up to his. We share a long intense kiss. His hands slip down my bottoms and he slides his finger against my clit making me whimper. “Johnnie.” I let out a light sigh. He lays me down against the hot wood in the sauna. we’re sweating like crazy at this point.. he pulls my bottoms down all the way and throws them somewhere.

He lightly licks my clit, grazing his tongue against my wet folds. “fuck your wet.” He mumbles against my clit making shocking waves of pleasure down my body. He starts flicking his tongue and putting a finger in me making my back arch. “Fuck Johnnie!” I moan out. He slaps his hand over my mouth to keep me quiet. He pumps his finger in and out of me and I scream out “close!” And he smirks against my folds.

“Cum on my face y/n” he mumbles against my folds again making me cum all on his face and it goes on his chin to his neck. “fuck Johnnie” I whisper. “I want you to know what you taste like.” He comes up and kisses me. I smile into the kiss and he pulls away. “Ride me before we go.” He begs. I smile and get on top of him. I sink down onto his hard dick. “Hmugh fuck!” I moan. I start bouncing up and down and Johnnie holds my waist to help me.

I bounce up and down my tits following along with my bouncing. “oh fuck y/n” Johnnie moans out. I hold onto his shoulders for support. My legs start going numb. I start sucking and biting on Johnnie’s neck making dark purple hickeys that’ll be very noticeable. “Fuck me! I’m close y/n!” Johnnie yells out. “M’ too!” I yell back. I bounce more roughly a couple times till he cums in me and I cum with him. “oh fuck…” he realizes he cummed in me. “It’s fine Johnnie, I’m on the pill.” I tell him. “okay” he replies. We grab our swim shit and put it on and walk out of the sauna.

Me and Johnnie see them all still there and we jump into the cold water and Jake and Tara come up to us. “Fuck me! Im close y/n!” Jake mimics Johnnie and Johnnie goes bright red. “M’ too!” Tara also yells and we both are very red and Jake and Tara are laughing. the car ride home was awkward…

————————————————————

how the fuck do I do this?

#johnnie guilbert smut #johnnie guilbert #chris sturniolo #johnnie and jake #jake webber #sturniolo triplets #nick sturniolo #matt sturniolo #swimming #tara yummy

109 notes · View notes

blackshadowswriter · 2 years

Text

Always Here┃Matt Murdock

Summary: Even the Devil got nightmares sometimes. Luckily, you would always be there for him to pick up the pieces. Tysm to @cioemyr for the request! 🖤

Words: 1875

Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares, dreams about losing a loved one, Matt's Catholic guilt that you have to slap out of him (not literally ofc, boi is traumatized)

AN: Guess who finally sat down and wrote out requests from months ago. I'm sorry it took so long, but it's here now! It is a little shorter than what I usually write, but I had to rewrite this several times, so this is the best I got.

That night, you awoke to a heartbroken plea from the Devil, echoing through the darkness.

When your eyes first shot open, darting around in the dark space of the bedroom, you couldn't remember what had awakened you for a few seconds.

Until Matt twisted in the sheets besides you with a shaken cry of "Foggy!"

You were shooting upright in a heartbeat, scooting closer to Matt's side of the bed and calling his name softly. Usually, you wouldn't have to move too far to find Matt in the bed since he normally spooned you like a giant, Devil-sized koala bear. However, tonight, it seemed that he had writhed away from you, plagued by the tortures of his mind.

This wasn't the first time Matt had been trapped in a nightmare, so you knew what to do. When he was like this, touching his hypersensitive skin was a great way for you to get decked in the face, courtesy of Matt's unfailing but rather violent reflexes, the first of which was to lash out at whoever touched him. It was something you couldn't exactly blame him for, especially when his nightmares usually involved being attacked or losing someone to an attack. This time, you were guessing that said someone was Foggy.

Instead of trying to touch any other part of his twisting body, you gently brought your hands up to his hair, carding through the damp strands slowly, hoping he could sense it was your touch. For a moment, Matt's body locked up at the new sensory detail, his anguished movements stilling to something a little more controlled—twitches running along the broad, muscular plane of his body.

Seeing him calm ever so slightly, you incorporated your voice.

"Matt," you called softly. "It's alright. You're okay."

In the faint illumination of the neon lights, spilling through his windows from that godawful billboard across the street, you could see Matt's face, shining with sweat and something you suspected were tears, contort in agony as his body shuddered again in his nightmare.

"It's just me, Matty," you continued, keeping your voice sweet and soft, knowing you didn't have to speak loud for his sensitive ears to pick up on it. You could only hope your voice was cutting through the fog of his dream-addled mind. "Come on, wake up, honey, you're safe here."

With a gasp, Matt's eyes flew open, and he bolted upright, clawing at the sheets, dark eyes darting around the room as if looking for a nonexistent enemy that he could not see. He tried to stagger out of bed, probably trying to go fight an invisible battle in his boxers.

"Hey, hey, hey, Matt!" you called, reaching out to gently catch his wrist. His head snapped towards you at the touch, but you weren't alarmed. You could never be afraid of Matt, and you knew that his erratic behavior was due to the fact that he usually had trouble orienting himself when waking up, especially from a terrible dream.

You said your name aloud, hoping the familiar word would break Matt out of his haze. "It's me, Matt. You're at home. You're safe. I'm safe. We're both safe, remember?"

Slowly, Matt relaxed in your hand, tension seeping out of his tightly wound form like blood washed away. He whispered your name in a shattered voice that sounded so vulnerable, so broken that your heart ached for him.

"Yeah, I'm here, Matt," you assured him quietly, dropping your hand down from his wrist to lightly entwine in his fingers. He clung to yours as though it were a lifeline in the whirlpool of his drowning mind. His body sagged back down into the bed and fell against you limply, no energy left in him. You caught his heavy weight as best as you could, gently shifting him until he could lay his head against your chest where you knew the sound of your steady heartbeat would comfort him.

"I got you," you murmured, adjusting the two of you so that you said with your back against the headboard and Matt's comforting weight across your front.

He kept his head over your heart for a few moments, breathing deep but shaky breaths before turning his face to bury it in your neck. "I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm so sorry—"

"Don't be," you said firmly. "Don't be sorry."

"I woke you up—"

"And I would gladly wake up a hundred times whenever you need me." You ran your hand through his sweat-slick hair, gently scratching that spot near his neck that made him purr. "The same way you wake up for me when I need you."

A shudder ran through his body, and you pretended like you didn't feel the hot, wet tears sliding down your neck for Matt's sake—the man was somehow convince that crying meant bothering you, and it had taken you months to assure him that no, Mathew, crying is normal, and I am very much fine, stop with the Catholic guilt.

"Tell me about it?" you asked softly. "If you want?"

You felt the warm air from his slow exhale skate across your collarbone and waited patiently for him to speak. If he didn't want to talk about what he had dreamt about, you weren't going to push him, the same way he had never pressed you for more details than you wanted to share on your own nightmares. But if he did need to talk, you were going chase out the stupid voice in his head telling him he deserved to suffer in solitude and make sure that Matt knew he could talk to you.

Eventually, Matt seemed to have found his voice. "Foggy," he croaked. "I dreamt about Foggy." He drew in a terse, shaky breath and pressed his face against the soft skin of your neck, taking in your comforting scent for a few moments. "He got—hurt, and it was my fault."

"I'm sure it wasn't—" you started to say, but Matt shook his head firmly, his hand fisting in your shirt.

"It was," he said hoarsely. "I wasn't fast enough—wasn't good enough to save him. They took him, and I couldn't do anything about it."

Silently, you took in his words while your fingers absently stroked the nape of his neck. You didn't bother to ask who "they" was, knowing the many enemies that hounded Matt's subconsciousness. It could have been any one of them, and who it was didn't really matter right now—only that Foggy had been hurt, and Matt blamed himself.

Of course, it was entirely possible that, in his dream, something he had done had either directly or indirectly caused whatever had happened to Foggy. However, it was equally likely that Matt had had nothing to do with it and simply blamed himself like he did with so many other things that were not his fault.

Without knowing exactly what had transpired (and Matt didn't seem too keen to share details), you were fumbling in the dark, unsure of how to reassure Matt.

You settled for the safest option. "It was just a dream," you soothed Matt, brushing your lips over his sweaty forehead. "Foggy is okay."

"I don't know that." Matt stiffened suddenly as if just realizing something. "I don't know that," he repeated, moving to sit up. "God, I need to go check on him—I need to make sure he's okay—"

You shushed Matt gently, tugging him back into your arms. "Foggy is okay," you reiterated quietly. "He sent me a meme about penguins at 2 in the morning, just 30 minutes ago. He's definitely okay," you told him in amusement.

Slowly, Matt sank back into your arms, apparently reassured by his best friend's rather irritating tendency to text you the most irrelevant things in the middle of the night. You resumed the pace of your fingers in his hair, and after a few moments, Matt went so quiet and still that you almost thought he had fallen asleep.

Until he shifted slightly and turned his face up to press a kiss against your jaw. "I love you," he rasped. "I love you so much. Thank you for...for putting up with this—putting up with me. I don't deserve you."

Oh, Matthew. My sweet, wonderful, dear, idiotic boyfriend.

You slid your hand underneath Matt's jaw and tilted his face up towards yours until you could take his tormented expression, face twisted with guilt. Even without hearing him speak a single word more, you could already hear the self-beratement running through his head.

"Matt," you said slowly, "I want you to listen very carefully to me. I know you can do that. So I want you to open those bat ears of yours and listen to me, okay?"

He cocked his head to the side slightly, evidently bewildered, but Matt humored you and nodded, licking his lips slowly.

"I do not put up with you," you said firmly. Matt's brows scrunched together (adorable, your distracted brain input), confusion blooming on his face as you continued. "I put up with my shitty coworker who hits on me every day. I put up with that ridiculously enormous rat that lurks outside your apartment and hisses at me every goddamn morning. I put up with the grumpy old woman who comes in every day to my work with an attitude dating back to 500 B.C."

You paused to watch the slight twitch of amusement on Matt's lips, glad you could cheer him up even that little.

"But," you said in the voice you used to take to your childhood dog when it misbehaved, "I do not put up with you. I take care of you when you need me to, the same way you take care of me when I need you to. Do you know why I do it?"

Matt let out a hoarse laugh. "That's what I've been wondering ever since you came into my life, sweetheart," he murmured in that self-depreciating tone you hated.

"Because I love you, Matthew Michael Murdock," you said sternly, smirking at the way he grimaced at the last part.

You just got middle named, Murdock.

You tilted your head down and kissed him softly, reveling in the way Matt sighed against your lips, practically turning into putty in your arms. "I love you, Matt. And when people love each other, this is what they do. You don't like the fact I get up in the middle of the night for you? Too fucking bad because I'm going to do it anyways. I fucking love you, Matthew, you hear me?"

"I hear you," he murmured. "And I love you too. This has to be the most aggressive declaration of love I've ever heard though."

You kissed him again. "Someone has to knock some sense into that Catholic-guilt-riddled brain of yours."

Matt huffed out a laugh against your lips, bringing his hand up to cup the side of your face. "You do it rather well," he decided. "I love you so much, sweetheart."

Kissing his hair, you nudged Matt and scooted the two of you down into the sheets until you both were more or less back in the same position you had fallen asleep him: Matt curled around you like your Devil-shaped teddy bear.

With a sleepy, content sigh, Matt nuzzled into your neck again, lips brushing over your pulse point gently. "I love you, sweetheart," he whispered again.

"I love you, Matt," you said quietly, reaching your fingers up to stroke his hair. "And I'll always be here for you, I promise."

═══════ ∘◦ ❈ ◦∘ ═══════ ∘◦ ❈ ◦∘═══════ ∘◦ ❈ ◦∘ ════════

AN: I'm on a roll with these Matt fics, the brain juices are finally flowing! I have so much I wanna write now even if it puts me so behind on my homework. Oh well 😬

If you enjoy, please remember to like, comment, and reblog!🖤

My Matt Murdock Masterlist

717 notes · View notes

adrivetcha · 1 year

Note

that’s not wrong, and you know it’s not. You’d be able to keep him safer that way. he’s obviously happier like that. Tie him up and keep him locked in his room, he doesn’t need to see or contact anyone else besides you and sam. your the only people that he needs. keep him as a little puppy captive. Write on him, make him do stuff for you, whatever. he doesn’t know what’s good for him off the meds. you need to keep him safe. he won’t listen unless he’s medicated properly.

He’s so much happier when he’s on his meds, you can just tell. It’ll be harder to keep him in the house when hockey season starts, but that just means I’ll have to go to every game and make sure he’s okay :) He literally barked when we called him a good boy, so… he’s definitely into it :)

#🌌 — Adriana #🖤 — Matty

0 notes

chvoswxtch · 2 years

Note

Hi! I was wondering if I could request Matt x black widow reader where they’re training together and she finally tells him where she learned to fight, but he’s surprised because she seemed like she didn’t know how to protect herself?

hi my love!

I got super carried away with this one and clearly I was in an angsty mood when I wrote it oops but it does have a nice ending I promise! thank you for the request! 🖤

warning: contains swearing, brief mentions of spiciness, mentions of violence, abuse, & implied sexual assault all in relation to the red room program (if any of these themes make you uncomfortable, please feel free to skip! you will not hurt my feelings, I promise!) word count: 3.9k

show me what you got.

Half of Fogwell’s was illuminated by the sunlight coming through the large floor to ceiling windows at the back of the gym, casting a golden glow over the worn equipment and faded walls. The other half that was furthest away from the sun’s steady rays was lit well enough that you could see a clear path to not trip over anything, so you didn’t bother turning on the lights. Matt never did anyway. Not only because they were of no use to him, but he had also mentioned that sometimes the buzz of electricity in a building could be overwhelming to his senses.

Matt had been adamant about teaching you self defense lately. You weren’t sure what happened that awoke this sudden need in him, but he had been bringing it up insistently for two weeks until you finally broke down and gave into him. He claimed it was purely because he wanted to know that you could defend yourself if something were to happen and he couldn’t get to you in time, but there was a feeling in the pit of your stomach that told you there was more to it. Saying no to Matthew Murdock was nearly impossible, and it wasn’t that you didn’t want to let him teach you. It made your heart swell with adoration that he genuinely just wanted to keep you as safe as possible. But there was something Matt didn’t know about your past that had you denying his argument…until he finally wore you down like he always did.

You leaned against the edge of the ring with your back to the door, humming along to the music that was currently playing through your headphones. Matt had told you he was running late for your first little session together, so you figured you had a little time to kill. Glancing around the old gym, you smiled to yourself as you tried to picture little Matty running around as his dad trained on the mat that was in front of you. The first time he had brought you here, he told you some of his fondest memories he had of his father, and it made you feel special that he felt comfortable sharing something so intimate with you. He spoke of him so proudly, and with so much love, it made you wish you’d had a chance to meet Jack, and that he’d had a chance to see the incredible man his son had grown up to be.

A hand grabbing onto your waist quickly broke you out of your trance, and you instinctively grabbed onto the person’s wrist, swiftly spinning around and twisting their arm behind their back as you grabbed onto their shoulder to lock them in a painful position. A familiar head of brown hair doubled over before you had your eyes widening in horror, and you immediately let go of Matt’s arm as you ripped the headphones out of your ears.

“Oh my god, Matt…I’m so sorry. I didn’t hear you come in, I had my-fuck, are you okay? I’m so sorry, baby.”

Matt straightened up as he rubbed at his shoulder, turning around to face you. His eyes were blown completely wide open as he stared in your direction, a look of pure surprise etched onto his face.

“Uh…yeah. Yeah, no I’m fine. I didn’t…didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You didn’t! I just…didn’t know it was you. I mean I don’t…I’m not sure who else I thought would be…I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry.”

Matt was still for a moment, tilting his head slightly to the left as his blank eyes remained fixated in your direction. His lips parted slightly, tongue coming out to quickly wet them while his brows pulled together slightly in the center of his forehead in curiosity.

“How…how did you do that?”

“Do what?”

“What you just did. How do you know how to do that?”

Fuck.

“I…I was…taught.”

“By?”

Please let this go, Matt.

“It…it was a long time ago. I’m out of practice anyway.”

“Not that much.”

The look on Matt’s face caused your anxiety to spike, sending your blood rushing through your heart at an unforgiving pace. He must have heard the uptick in your rhythm, because he immediately squinted his eyes.

“Why are you so nervous right now?”

“I’m not.”

“Why are you lying to me.”

Matt’s plump lips were settled in a tight, disapproving line. There was a hardness to his voice that had guilt flooding the pit of your stomach. You hated lying to Matt. It wasn’t that you wanted to, you were just absolutely terrified of losing him.

“You said you wanted to teach me, and you were so excited when I finally said yes…I didn’t wanna take that away from you. I’d much rather learn from you than who I did anyway.”

Letting out a deep sigh, you took a step forward towards him and placed your hands on Matt’s shoulders, gently massaging the one you’d caused pain to.

“Besides, you’ve been so busy lately, this is a chance for us to spend more time together. And you can teach me everything I don’t know.”

The soft smile that graced your lips immediately disappeared when you realized the translucent level of betrayal that covered Matt’s face hadn’t faltered.

“How am I supposed to do that when I don’t even know what you do know.”

The vexation you detected in his voice felt like a bullet ripping straight through the dense tissue of your heart. He had every right to be upset with you right now, you knew that deep down, but there was still an ache echoing in your rib cage.

“Matt-“

“What is it? What are you hiding?”

“I’m not-“

“Don’t give me that shit. You’re lying to me, right now. Don’t lie to my face like I can’t tell. I want the truth.”

“It’s not that simple.”

Matt let out a dry laugh, his face a twisted mixture of shock and disbelief as his full brows raised several inches upwards.

“Not that simple? Do you think telling you the truth about me was simple?”

“In comparison, yes.”

Matt looked as though you had physically slapped him across the face, and the sight made your stomach twist with regret. His face immediately hardened, and he squared his shoulders as he stared down in your direction.

“I want the truth. Now.”

“Matt-“

“Or we’re done.”

A quiet gasp slipped past your mouth at the conviction in his statement. He meant it.

“I won't be with a liar. Not again.”

There were traces of pain and treachery in the venom he tossed at you, and it had guilt seeping into the very marrow of your bones. You knew exactly what he was talking about; who he was talking about. A brief thought crossed your mind that he might be disgusted if he found out just how similar the two of you were, and the sins you shared.

He must have taken your silence as an answer, because he was angrily grabbing his gym bag off the nearby bench and stalking towards the door to get as far away from you as he could. Panic began to rise in your throat, and you didn’t know what the fuck to do.

You could let him go. Convince yourself it was for the best. That he was going to leave the second he found out what you were anyway, so might as well get it over with now. You could spend the rest of your life trying to erase his memory, fool yourself into believing you could find happiness after him, and die knowing the one person you had ever loved had walked away from you because being a coward was the least awful thing about you.

Or you could tell him the truth. You could try things his way; kneel at his altar and bind your hands in his, say a prayer of his name and beg for the same mercy and forgiveness he had given her. It was a cheap shot to dare a man of faith to not practice what he preached, but it was an even bigger gamble that he might let the Devil decide on his behalf instead.

“I was a widow.”

Matt instantly paused at the door, hand stilling over the handle for a moment. He slowly turned around to face you, a considerably softer expression on his features as he spoke quietly.

“You had a husband?”

Clicking your tongue against the inside of your cheek, you leaned back against the ring and crossed your arms over your chest.

“No, not that kind. I meant…I was a black widow, Matt.”

You had seen more shades of revelation flash across Matt’s face today than you ever had the entire time you had known him, and that made you nervous. He was not an easy person to shock. This man had been through the goddamn ringer, had friends that had powers and abilities, had his ex-girlfriend die in his arms twice because of some supernatural shit, and yet you were still able to surprise him. That wasn’t something to be proud of.

As he parted his lips to speak, you quickly cut him off and began to pace back and forth furiously.

“Look before you say anything, just…let me explain. I…I didn’t tell you…it wasn’t because I didn’t trust you. Okay, it had nothing to do with that. I just…I wasn’t sure how you would react-“

“How I would react?”

“I’m not done.”

“Y/N, I told you I was Daredevil. That’s a pretty big bombshell. You didn’t think that was the time to tell me this?”

“No, I didn’t-“

“Why?”

“Matthew I am trying to explain that, but I need you to shut the fuck up first.”

Matt clenched his jaw, cocking his head to the side slightly to crack his neck as he let a deep exhale out through his nose. Carelessly tossing his gym bag onto the floor with a thud, he motioned with his hand for you to continue before settling both of his hands on his hips in a stance of annoyance.

“I’m not like you, Matt. Okay? I’m not a hero. There are things…things that I did that I can never undo.”

“So you were a spy for a shitty government and did shitty things. You broke codes and laws. You think I don’t understand that? I may not commit espionage Y/N, but I break some of the very laws I took an oath to uphold nearly every night. You lied to me about something you knew I could’ve understood. I mean, it’s not like you killed someone.”

The carelessness of Matt’s words and the accusatory tone of his voice had you seething. He must have sensed your swift change in mood because the humorless smile on his lips quickly evaporated. You balled your hands up into tight fists to control the way they shook with rage, chest heaving slightly with jagged breaths as your voice dipped an octave lower.

“What is it you think widows do exactly, Matthew.”

Regret flashed in his eyes the moment he stumbled across his mistake, and the realization of your words settling in had his mouth hanging open in horror.

“Let me tell you exactly what we’re trained to do. It isn’t just lies and stealing. It’s also seduction, orchestrating crises, persuading wars, but most importantly, assassination.”

Anger boiled throughout your bloodstream as you spoke. You weren’t sure if you were more pissed at Matt for being an insensitive asshole, or about the life that was taken away from you, but all you could see was red. You’d never gotten a chance to be angry about it before, and now you couldn’t hold back the fire that burnt through you.

“You think losing your father was hard? I was taken from my family. I don’t even know who the hell they are. I’ll never know if they even wanted me, or if they willingly gave me up. I’ll never know their names. I’ll never know if they’re even still alive. I will never know anything about them. You think Stick was rough on you? I grew up in the Red Room, Matt. What you had was a fucking daydream compared to the nightmare I lived.”

“Y/N-“

“You wanna know how many girls survive the training program? One in twenty. I was the lucky one out of the twenty.”

Matt’s face immediately fell at your words, letting his head hang in shame as he swallowed thickly.

“Was your first time nice, Matt? Was it romantic and with someone you loved? Someone you trusted?”

Matt clenched his jaw tightly, squeezing his eyes shut as his hands trembled slightly at his sides.

“Y/N-“

“I’ll spare you the details of mine. But I can assure you it was not nice. It was part of my training, and there was no love or trust being done to my body. It was being used as a demonstration in seduction to complete a mission.”

A tiny piece of you knew this wasn’t fair. You shouldn’t be trying to invalidate Matt’s trauma with your own. But he wanted the truth, so you were giving him all of it.

“I can’t tell you how many times my body was violated, inside and out. And do you wanna know what I got for being the lucky one to graduate the program? Torn open and ripped apart. I didn’t just have my life ripped away from me, I had my ability to create life ripped away from me too. You were broken down and molded into a hero by your city. I was broken down and molded into a villain by mine. You made a choice to be the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen. I never got that choice, Matt. I never got a choice until the Red Room finally fucking fell, and then I ran. I ran as far away as I fucking could.”

You thought the haze of madness was what had consumed your vision, but as it finally became clear when you blinked, you realized your face was streaked in tears. Matt’s shoulders shook with remorse, quiet sobs and sniffles leaving him as you noticed the tracks of melancholia on his own face. All of that pent up rage and resentment…he didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve any of it. He deserved better.

“I have been trying…so hard to forget that part of my life…to make up for the things I’ve done. I didn’t…I didn’t want to keep it from you. I didn’t want to lie to you. I just…I was so scared…I was terrified to lose you because you are the one good thing I have ever had…I didn’t want you to hate me-”

“Hate you?”

Matt’s voice was just as broken as his face, and it only twisted the knife further. In a few short strides he was in front of you, frantically shaking his head in disbelief.

“How could I ever hate you?”

“Because I am everything you stand against, Matt.”

“That’s not true.”

“I’ve killed-“

“That wasn’t your choice. None of that was ever your choice. How could I ever hold something against you that was forced on you?”

You wanted to believe him. You wanted to believe that he still wanted you. But that tiny little voice in the back of your head kept screaming that this is where he would leave you.

“Y/N-“

Matt brought his hands up to gently cradle your face, a look of pure agony covering his features as his sweet honey eyes dripped with sorrow.

“You were a little girl taken from her home, abused and brainwashed, and used against your will by evil people. That does not make you evil. I know you never wanted to do any of those things they made you do. I can feel how much it hurts you, sweetheart. I do not hold any of that against you, I swear.”

“I don’t know if I can ever forgive myself, Matt.”

“Oh, honey.”

Matt immediately pulled you into him, wrapping his arms protectively around your body as he held you as close as physically possible. He gently brushed his fingers through your hair, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead while you sobbed into his chest.

“Shh, it’s alright. It’s okay, my love. I know it hurts. I know that guilt you feel. You can make peace with it. I can’t promise you that it will be easy. There are some days…that are going to be a lot harder than others, and you’re going to feel…like you don’t deserve that peace or forgiveness at all. But you do. And I will be there with you, every step of the way.”

You gripped onto Matt tightly like he was a lifeline keeping you afloat in the middle of a violent sea storm. He was the first person that had made you feel safe since you’d moved to New York. Finding out who he really was only made you feel safer. He was the scary thing in the dark that all the real monsters feared, and he was yours.

“Whoever you were before…whatever you did, it doesn’t matter. I only care about who you are now. I love who you are now.”

“I love you, Matt. I love you so much.”

Love used to be a four letter word to you. An emotion you’d never felt, but feigned for personal gain. A genre of literature, film, and music. A holiday created by corporations for profit. But the second you met him, that all changed.

Love was Matthew Murdock. It was his dazzling smile coupled with charming dimples that made your knees weak. It was the warmth of his hand on your lower back as he guided you to the side of the sidewalk furthest from the street. It was the way he always smiled when he said your name, and how it rolled off of his tongue almost in a beckoning manner. It was his jacket over your shoulders when you’d insisted it wasn’t ‘that cold’. It was the trust in sharing his troubled past, his deepest fears, his haunting insecurities, and his greatest sins.

It was the first time he touched your body. It was the gentleness and undivided attention while he made love to you as you shared your first intimate moment together. It was the first time your body had ever been shown love and it took everything in you not to break down at how softly he caressed you and how patient he was with you. It was the space he took up in your heart and the home he made within you.

It was the verity in his voice when he whispered those three words into your ear for the first time, and the way he made you feel worthy of them.

“I love you, sweetheart. I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’m not leaving you.”

“Please don’t tell Karen and Foggy. I…I don’t want them to know.”

A part of you knew they would understand. They were your chosen family as much as Matt was. But telling Matt the truth was difficult enough. You weren’t sure you could do it again. You didn’t want to risk your past life ruining your new one.

“I won’t. We can keep this between us.”

“I…I don’t think-“

“It’s okay, you don’t have to explain yourself. I understand.”

Letting out a deep breath, your shoulders suddenly felt a lot lighter, and that weight that had been heavy on your chest was finally gone. For the first time in years you felt like you could actually breathe.

“Thank you.”

Matt pulled back slightly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear as he gazed down at you lovingly.

“For what, honey?”

“Still loving me.”

“You didn’t stop loving me.”

“Matt-“

“I’m not always a hero, sweetheart. I don’t always go out every night to protect people. As much as I hate to admit it out loud, sometimes I enjoy beating the shit out of people that deserve it. I’ve been driven to that edge of wanting to take someone’s life before. There’s not always purity in what I do.”

“But there’s heart, and good intentions.”

“Which is exactly what you have too.”

Matt leaned in to bump your nose with his, tracing the underside of your jaw slowly with his index finger.

“Well, if the Devil said it, it must be true.”

The tension in Matt’s shoulders seemed to evaporate as a smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth, and your lips only split further into a grin as his mouth mirrored yours. There was a wicked glint dancing around in his eyes, and his tongue glided along his bottom lip slowly as he cocked his head to the side.

“So…did you all have like…a uniform or something?”

Puzzlement furrowed between your brows at Matt’s question as you tried to figure out where he was going with this.

“Like…a suit?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, why?”

Matt couldn’t contain the suggestive smirk that took over his entire mouth, arching one of his brows playfully as he jutted his chin in your direction.

“You still have it?”

Your mouth immediately fell open, pulling back to deliver a soft punch directly into Matt’s chest as you stared at him incredulously.

“Matthew Murdock!”

“What?”

“You can’t even see!”

“But I can feel.”

Matt wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, moving his hands down your waist slowly to grab at your hips while sinking his teeth into his bottom lip seductively.

“You are unbelievable. Everything I just told you…and that’s where your head is at.”

“Both of them, actually.”

“You are the worst Catholic I have ever met, you know that?”

“Why do you think my confessions take so long?”

Pursing your lips, you swatted at Matt’s chest again, pushing him away as you backed up to rest against the ring. You tried to contain your grin as he snickered, prowling towards you slowly with mischievous intent.

“Well?”

“I might have kept it, just in case.”

You could see Matt’s excitement clearly in his eyes, but he remained in his spot just a few inches in front of you as a timid smile tugged at his mouth.

“You don’t actually have to wear it if you don’t want to. If it’s…too much for you. I know you might have certain feelings associated with it.”

“Not really. I repurposed it and made it my own when I came here. It doesn’t belong to them anymore. It’s mine.”

Matt’s lips parted slightly, and you could see the flush of red blooming on his cheeks and coating the tops of his ears. His excitement was starting to be evident in other places, and you couldn’t help but smirk as he stepped in closer.

“You know, I’ve heard black widows are extremely dangerous.”

“Get in the ring and I’ll show you.”

Matt’s face lit up like a goddamn Christmas tree as he placed both of his palms on the mat on either side of you to cage you in with his body.

“You gonna take it easy on me?”

“Oh I think you can handle it, Daredevil. I thought they called you the man without fear? You scared, baby?”

Matt’s eyes were wild with hunger, a ravenous grin stretching his lips open to show off his gleaming teeth as he leaned in to let his warm breath fan over your lips.

“Show me what you got, sweetheart.”

#matt murdock #matt murdock x you #matt murdock x y/n #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x female reader #matt murdock x fem!reader #matt murdock x f!reader #matt murdock x black widow!reader #matt murdock fic #matt murdock request #daredevil #daredevil fic #daredevil request

530 notes · View notes