#🔪 ₓ ░ ⁽ 𝒔𝒑𝒊𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒔𝒐𝒄𝒐𝒓𝒓𝒐 ⁾ writing.

[scarymovi3s]

@atrocites . . . ❝ i can tell you’re upset, what happened ? ❞ ( for : spider. ) ( from : alistar. )

there's    a    rumination    inside    him,    one    that's    been    searing    a    hole    in    his    skull    for    about    sixteen    years.    who    am    i ?    it's    a    burden    of    a    question,    especially    given    spider's    unorthodox    circumstances.    not    too    many    people    can    say    their    father    led    the    mission    to    informally    extinguish    an    entire    native    species.    embarrassing    is    a    tart    understatement.    the    only    comfort    has    been,    ultimately    what    some    might    call,    a    fatal    delusion :    that    pandora    is    his    true home.

spider's    what    they    like    to    call :    too    animal    for    the    scientists,    too    human    for    the    n'avi.    it's    alienating,    on    both    ends.    a    trap,    really.    but    what    the    hell    kind    of    life    would    he    live    on    earth    anyway ?    from    everything    he's    heard    from    norm,    it    sounds    like    a    molting    shit    hole,    on    the    brink    of    collapse.    he'd    humbly    prefer    getting    ravaged    by    a    palulukan    than    ever    go    there.

ali's    question    brings    out    a    corroded reaction    from    spider :    defensiveness.    he    hates    to    wonder    if    that's    something    he    might've    inherited    from    his    ' father. '    the    thought    makes    him    a    pinch    more    sour. ❝ nothing    happened, ❞ spider    growls,    curls    sinking    down    with    his    slouch    to    cover    the    sides    of    his    face.    because,    really,    nothing    happened.    just    a    bad    day.    one    of    those    days    where    you    can't    help    but    notice    everyone    just    looks    right    past    you.    like    barely    anybody    understands    you.    it's    a    cold    thing    to    feel,    as    a    kid.

baren    feet    dangle    freely    from    the    mossy    ledge    of    a    less    than    shallow    cliff,    mouth    shriveled    up    into    a    contemplative    line.    he    wants    more    than    anything    to    just    be    alone,    but    ali    is    cool    enough.    he's    about    one    of    the    four    people    that    doesn't    talk    down    to    spider,    which    he    fairly    appreciates.    still,    even    ali    has    his    place    with    the    people.    ali    lives    amongst    them,    an    avatar    turned    na'vi    in    his    own    right.    spider    will    never    have    that.    not    even    with    the    sullys,    as    much    as    he    secretly    desires    it.    he    will    always    just    be    the    little    boy    who    was    too    small    for    a    cryo    capsule,    who    they    had    no    choice    but    to    leave    behind. ❝ maybe everyone's right. maybe    i    just    maybe    i    just don't    belong    anywhere. ❞