#🔥Welcome to Heck!🐍 AU

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Imp or Hellhound Reader: Hey, Hank. Whatcha doing?

Hank, who's building a tracker/body camera for them: just fixing a long-standing issue we've been having, dear.

Imp/Hellhound Reader: Oh... OK!

Also Imp/Hellhound Reader: I made muffins! Who wants one~?

Hank: I do! With blueberries, please, dear?

Imp/Hellhound Reader: 😊🥰🫐🥞🧁

Hank: Thank you, my dear! Now I have a nice tracking collar- thrilling choker, for you, as a present!

(Haha! He'd be so happy, and would love Reader's muffins or pancakes or bagels. Fun fact for the Et Tu Brute AU, when Reader ends up reincarnated about 9,850 years into the present day, Logan and Victor get Hank, an angel doctor and Logan's friend, to check up on Reader in the human world, disguised as a human doctor... He gives them the best tasting lollipop ever!)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Low Hellborn Reader: okay guys doing a supply run to other rings what do you need?

Charles: Medicine from Sloth

Reader: got it

Storm: Food from wrath

Reader: uh huh

Kurt: games from greed!

Reader: already in the budget

Some random hotel guest: Oh, Reader, can you stop by Lust and -?

Everyone: No

Guest: huh?

Everyone: No, they can't *glaring intensely*

Reader: *whispering* they sell birth control pills in Sloth too, I know ur period gets too heavy, you locked yourself in your room last time you didn't have any. Don't worry, I got you.

Reader: I got you, boos! Medicine, food, ges and pads, coming right up! I'll even throw in a few cups of Moondoes! (Heck's version of Starbucks)

Everyone: Thank you, Reader!

Reader: Okay, let me grab my coin purse-

Logan and Erik: Got it!

Kurt, Scott, and Kitty: We're coming with you!

Reader: It's okay, guys, really! I'll be fine!

The teens: No! We HAVE to go with you!

Reader: Ok...

Later...

Heck: burning, full of screaming and stabbing, blood and gore is everywhere, something is on fire

Some random jerk: Watch where you're walking, shrimp!

Reader: I think you need to back off...

Random jerk: Or what, sweetheart?

Reader: reveals an angelic pistol with hearts and rose quartz set into it Or I'll send you to the regions beyonh Heck! So, what do you say, punk?!

Random jerk: S-sorry, ma'ams and s-sirs! runs away, only to be chomped down in by cannibals

The teens: ...

Reader: Are you okay? Let me see!

The teens: We think we love you even more now...

Reader: Oh no, I think you're in shock... LOGAN! ERIK! Where's the cold water?!

(The teens and adults appreciate Reader and want to protect them so badly! But, they forget that Reader was born and raised in Heck a lot. Until they're reminded of that, like this scenario for instance~!)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

My second idea is again: Reader who is low hellborn, same background and sweetness.

BUT! Now it's just the Brotherhood and Acolytes running the hotel, with Erik as the hotel owner. Our X-men are angels and winners.

Heaven actually sees stock in the idea of redeeming sinners, so they get sent down to supervise the hotel, and tension is high as the groups don't see eye to eye on how to redeem a soul.

Reader is close to all of them, the X-men finding them a unique and interesting but still very nice change of pace from the "manners" of the hotel staff and the Hotel normally going to complain to Reader that the X-men are jerks and too uptight. They are constantly trying to distract the Reader from each other and their chores, much to their frustration.

Reader typically acts as mediator in their fights when they get too messy. During one, someone asks Reader how they would want to be redeemed.

"Well I can't really be redeemed, I'm hellborn. No soul to sin or redeem to begin with. I'm just here to help others get redeemed."

The X-men... did not know about this. What do you MEAN the best person here is the only one stuck here?! So they start researching on how to get Reader to heaven.

Everyone else...kinda already knew. They never registered it fully, but they knew. It sucks but has them thinking. They WORK at the hotel, they're getting others redeemed, they can't redeemed or else no one will be here to run the hotel or keep Reader company. But if Reader gets taken to heaven, the hotel will seem so big and lonely and empty.

So it becomes a stupid game of the X-men trying to get Reader into heaven while the Brotherhood and Acolytes destroy any information they find to keep Reader here. All the while hiding it from Reade cause they have enough on their plate.

( Also little angel Kurt still having his blue fur, yellow eyes, fangs, and tail while also having matching wings and halo make me very happy)

Ooooooooooo~! I like this, a lot! Amd yes, let Kurt have his bkue fluff and sharp teeth and yellow glowing eyes and tail and puffy little blue wings!

The Brotherhood and Acolytes find this all annoying. Of course Reader is the best imp/hellhound/ucubus around, they're not BLIND! Yet the idea that Reader could leave, even if it's only a small, teeny percent... It has them thinking. Okay. They WANT to redeem others! And get into Heaven, because it's better than Heck. Bit Reader woukd be lonely and left down here... So what do they do? Figure out which ones of them are also hellborn, or those who wouldn't mind staying down there with their favorite bean...

The X-Men, however, are devastated. Their little friend can't be with them?! Because they happened to be unfortunate enough to be born in Heck?! NonOnoNoNoNONO!!! They're looking through ancient tomes and testing old rituals of change and doing their best to see if redemption is possible for ALL beings... The moment they find out that a demon could ascend, they're doing everything they can to let Reader know. They NEED to know! They could be in Heaven, with them, safe and sound and with little wings! They wouldn't have to live in this death trap death pit full of sinners and creeps and jerks!

The groups are tense around each other now, more than they were before, because now they can't decide if they should all try to end up in Heaven amd pray Reader ends up there too, or if they should simply let Reader remain oblivious and safe, and not take the risk...

Quite the conundrum, and quite the choice to make...

(@sugar-soda I love it! Oh... oH!!! Imagine an AU where Reader and the teens are either sinners or fallen angels, and the adults are all angels or seraphim, who want kids... Or an AU where Reader is a deadly sin or an ars goetia, but they're more like the virtue that's opposite of their sin or a very good ruler of the bird demon people... Do you like any of those ideas? Or want to explore any of them?

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Helluva/ Hazbin huh? Okay, here's an idea to play with.

Our lovely Reader is a hellborn. Likely a hellhound or imp since those are the lowest in the hell hierarchy. They've had a rough life, but they're still good, if tired. They try to give advice when ask, avoid trouble, and survive.

Now I have two ideas on who our mutants could be:

Option 1: All of them are sinners. Charles and Erik are running their own version of the Hotel to get sinners redeemed. Everyone is living together in (somewhat) controlled chaos, but they need to hire some help. Maybe a groundskeeper, cook, security, someone who cam go between circles of hell. Reader gets hired for the job, but still is required to be part of "redeeming group bounding activities". One day, someone asks Reader what they want to do when they get redeemed.

"Um, I can't go? To heaven? I'm hellborn, so no soul. No soul=no redemption. This is your guys' afterlife, this is my LIFE."

Ooooooohhhhhhhh! That's fun! Imp or Hellhound Reader running around, doing some good deeds for the denizens of H*ll, hears about the Hotel, and goes there! Only to meet the weirdest group of sinners ever... The adults are all rather grumpy or desperate, amd the teens are either apathetic, depressed, or traumatized. So what does Reader do? Cheer them up! Who wants cake? Here, have some devils food cake and angels food cake! Need to smile? Oh look, some jerk just tripped a rock and busted their face open! Need some entertainment? Reader knows several card tricks, pranks, and artistic exercises they can do!

The sinner X-Men and Brotherhood like their imp or hellhound, making sure they have a warm bed and plenty of activities to do! They don't let them go out unless it's with one of them, and even still, they keep an eye on them at all times. No scum is going to eat or kill their bby! That is THEIR sweet little bean, and they WILL get to Heaven one day, they just know it!

Until they find out Reader simply CAN'T get to Heaven...

Hellborns are the natural citizens of Heck. Reader is a hellborn. They never lived as a human on Earth, so they never had the chance to do good and be accepted by the angels of Heaven. So they aren't even a contender to enter into the light of the Holy Realm...

The platonic yanderes proceed to have a meltdown, Charles and Erik shaking each other amd trying to get in contact contact Heaven to see if, since angels can fall, could a demon ascend...? Amd if so, would they happily accept the best imp/hellhound to ever grace their presence? At this point, those Teo and the other adults are desperate, wanting Reader to survive and not be hurt in case things go wrong or they get caught in the Extermination. But- if Heaven sees how good they are, surely they'll HAVE to accept Reader!

Right...?

(What was your second idea, @sugar-soda? I'm curious to know!) (Let's call this thr Welcome to Heck AU...)

[honey-minded-hivemind]

Btw minor correction, I think Sinners can only stay in the Pride Ring, while the Hellborns can travel at any rings of Heck. Also, I think Hellborns are excluded from the extermination.

True, and true! I let a few things slide though, because it helps the story and since it might allow a few more fun things to happen! Not everything is tossed out the window! But thank you for the reminder! Have a great day, @randomlyappearingartist! Thank you for stopping by!