#🔍 inspects myself

[marquisedegramont]

𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐌𝐄 🖋

evren ( ev-rahn )

she / they / it ⟡ pisces ⟡ entj-a ⟡ 19 ⟡ filipino ⟡ trans/queer

-` fandoms ´- john wick , vampire: the masquerade (bloodlines) , arcane/league , scp foundation database , resident evil (biohazard & village).

-` music ´- ethel cain , mitski , marina , hozier , deftones , she wants revenge.

-` books ´- a certain hunger - chelsea g. summers , fight club - chuck palahniuk , exquisite corpse - poppy z. brite , my year of rest & relaxation - otessa moshfegh

-` movies ´- john wick series , fight club , the lighthouse , kiki’s delivery service , gone girl

-` characters i love ´- marquis de gramont , dr. sophia light , jeanette/therese voerman , sevika , donna beneviento

[spaceratprodigy]

✏ WIP Wednesday ✏

Thank you for the tag @the-lastcall @captastra 💖💫

I haven't got any new drawings to share just yet! I'm taking a lil break to let my body and my brain rest. But I have been excitedly planning out the things I want to work on next and I genuinely can't wait! Not putting pressure on myself, but I've been super excited to work on some smaller oc stuff, some au stuff, and hopefully I'll have the energy to make some fun things for Halloween this year! :3

I haaaave been messing around with some quick ideas in my notes app tho, so I can share those today at least. Hope y'all like reading! 👇

🔍 — Detective au

"Maximillian, could you hand me that?" she asked, a soft teasing in her voice.

Max reached for the seasoning his companion pointed at, their fingers brushing against each other during the hand-off. Losing himself only for a moment thinking about the way his name sounded on her lips.

"I've never cooked anything like this on my own" he said, holding his head over the pot to take in the aroma.

"It's never too late to learn" Faith practically sang. "Thank you, again. For helping, I mean."

Max's eyes softened looking at her, the smile on her face was genuine. One she had hardly shown during their time together on this case. He wanted to spend every day in this kitchen with her, seeing her glow like this.

"Salami soup is an interesting choice, I've never heard of it before tonight. I'm sure yours is quite the delicacy." He meant it sincerely, but couldn't resist trying to get another playful smile out of her with flattery.

He began cleaning up the mess they had made while prepping. Carefully moving the knives and cutting boards to the sink, wiping up any straggling ingredients that didn't quite make it to the pot, turning down the volume of her little kitchen radio. The way she couldn't resist dancing along to the tunes she liked filled Max's heart with a feeling he still didn't quite understand yet. One he was afraid to acknowledge.

Faith looked at him with a comfort she'd never felt before. She ladled up some broth, offering him a taste. Her smile only growing when he winced from the heat, but agreeing it was quite delicious. She didn't expect to become so fond of her new partner, even less did she think the man she met her first day on this case would enjoy the quality time as much as she did. She heard the whispers about him, the warnings, but that clearly wasn't the man that stood before her.

Faith looked back at her pot with a tired expression.

"Funnily enough, there were quite a few of us in the same crowd who had grandparents or parents that came from Puerto Rico. It was a dish we all knew well, we loved talking about the differences in our family recipes" she stirred slowly, the sounds of the kitchen becoming drowned out by her thoughts.

"But weirdly, we all knew it as Spanish Soup! What a coincidence our parents all had the same name for it" she let out a short, quiet laugh. The corners of her mouth perking up, but her eyes unchanged, fixed on the simmering.

"Not quite the right name for it, though, but a weirdly consistent one. I'm not sure if it was a language barrier translation or what..."

Faith began trailing off and mumbling, not necessarily talking to Max anymore so much as she was reminiscing to herself about mundane moments from her past.

"Sopa de salchichon" she breathed, her voice almost inaudible.

"Is it a favorite of yours?" Max asked, trying to bring her back to reality. A slight bit concerned by her sudden change in tone.

Faith blinked.

"One of them, yes. But not my absolute favorite by any means" Faith began thinking about when she should make Max cook potato soup with her next. "It brings me some comfort, though."

"Does it, now?"

"Unfortunately, yes. My dad used to make it all the time" her voice had no enthusiasm in it anymore. She inspected her brightly colored concoction carefully. "He never did figure out how to cook the potatoes all the way through."

She attempted to ladle up a little bit of everything, admiring how warm it looked. Salami. Potatoes. Pasta. Onions. They radiated in their bath of popping reds, oranges, and yellows. She looked as if she was going to give it a taste, herself, but dropped it gently back into the pot.

The shift in her attitude worried Max, who was unsure of the direction this topic was heading.

"Were you close with your father?" he finally asked.

Faith was silent for a moment.

And another moment.

And another.

Max had realized too late the weight of his question when he heard Faith start sniffling.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't.. I didn't mean to overstep-" his own voice coming out and wavering before he had time to think.

He took a step towards her, immediately wanting to make it better, wanting to go back just a few minutes ago when she was smiling and dancing around the kitchen. Not knowing how to fix it, how to comfort her, not knowing her boundaries and not wanting to cross them.

Faith wouldn't look at him, the hot tears broke through and were running down her cheeks. Her eyes stung. She was desperately trying to dry her face.

"N-no, you're fine.. you didn't.." she was trying to speak, but her cracking voice wouldn't cooperate "M-max.." she wanted to reassure him he didn't do anything wrong.

Finally, she looked at him. Max had never seen her like that before. It made his heart sink in his chest. Instinctively reaching his arms towards her before he realized what he was doing. His hand so close to cradling her cheek when–

"Fuck!" — "Jesus Christ!" they exclaimed in unison.

The intrusive ringing of her home phone made them jump. Stunning the partners in place, left staring at each other and wondering what was about to happen between them.

📿 — Midnight Mass au [previous tidbit]

The light of the morning sun kissed her skin with a comforting warmth. The scent of honeysuckle on the faint breeze. It was peaceful. Normally she would have considered this the perfect start to her day.

Today, however, was far from perfect.

The gentleness of it all, it mocked her. How can the sky be so clear, the gardens blooming so beautifully, the children laughing so innocently. How can it go on when a storm was about to blow through. A storm no one else was going to feel, to even know was happening.

Faith felt her heart cracking and crumbling. She didn't know how she was supposed to do this.

Trying to keep her breaths calm, she continued pacing around the road she knew like the back of her hand. The one she often walked with a confident stride. Today, it was a walk of shame. Guilt. Her choices finally catching up with her.

Faith plucked a small flower from a neighbor's garden, hoping they weren't around to notice. She began pulling off the petals one by one, trying to keep her shaky, fidgeting hands occupied. It was so delicate between her fingers, so pretty.

It frustrated her.

Not because it had done anything in particular to upset her. She just wanted somewhere to direct her own internal conflict, and the little flower in her hands was the closest casualty.

Faith's heart began beating hard when the church began peeking into view. She swallowed hard, not realizing how dry her throat had become.

How do I tell him?

It was her one place of solace. She was kind, caring, reserved, but never cold. Faith tried her best to be an active member in her community, but it was still a bit out of her comfort zone at times to put such a strain on her social battery. Even more so when her Hiram had left for war.

She enjoyed the solitude of the church. She enjoyed even more what she never expected to find in it.

The last thing Faith thought she'd ever learn about herself, was that she didn't actually marry the love of her life. That becoming more involved in her local church would lead her down a blasphemous path.

An adulterous one.

Finally standing before the building in question, Faith took a moment to admire the architecture. It was a stunning building, a real work of art.

She began her trek up the stairs. The weight growing on her feet with every step. It was agonizing.

With the town's vicar, no less.

Faith felt light headed when she reached the top. Her ears were ringing, darkness was peering in from her peripheral vision.

What greater sin could we have committed?

The doors were open, the morning air saving the church from its usual stuffiness. The sun rays beaming in through the stained glass windows, illuminating the space with colors and dust particles alike. Faith had eyes for only one thing that stood in that room.

Vicar Maximillian DeSoto, very carefully tending to the appearance within his church's walls.

Faith's cheeks were hot, no doubt turning red just at the sight of him. Her heart fluttered in a way no one, not even her Hiram, ever made her feel. She never quite believed in soul mates, until she met Max, and they realized they were meant to be together. Unable to bear being apart from each other's side for too long.

Faith felt the tears welling up in her eyes, not knowing how she's supposed to have this conversation with him. Not knowing what news she was supposed to tell him first.

That she was carrying his child.

Or that her husband just returned home.

🚀 — Canon (summary; not the actual wip)

Faith has an emotional moment (more like an existential crisis) in Phin's lab regarding having been spontaneously dropped into Halcyon to fend for herself + an identity crisis about who she was and who she now has to be. Finding unexpected comfort in him being the only person who believes and understands her complicated existence.

They have a proper heart to heart and Phineas apologizes for the mess he's thrown Faith into without warning or preparation, finally filling her in on what the hell is going on.

Phin confesses that during the unthawing process he saw some things that gave him a clue about Faith's past. Being concerned for her wellbeing, he brings up the uncomfortable information he discovered. His new friend, quite unhappy with him, was hoping to put as much distance as possible between her past on Earth and her newfound identity.

[glazelilyy]

i feel like i always send you these LMAO but 💘 👎 🔍 💻!

AHH NO IT'S OK!! i love answering questions when i totally don't forget have time! :D

💘- what’s your favorite AU? least favorite?

modern au! i love realism with a touch of magic and since genshin already has the "magical" part down pat, i always think it's interesting to see it translate over into a modern au. that, and i would die to see kaeya in a biker jacket (WOOO my heart would stop LOL). i also really like fairy tale aus! i love love love fairy tales and combining them with my favorite characters makes me squeal and slam the like button :D

as for least favorite, i'm not really sure i have one? i kinda just stick with the stuff i like so i don't really explore outside the little bubble of aus and tropes i've picked for myself (but i like to keep an open mind upon first inspection!)

👎- if you could change something in one of your works, what would you change and why?

i wrote a seven part series for kaeya when i first started writing on tumblr, and looking at it now it has some semblance of my current writing style but i look at how it's divided up and the missing dialogue tags (because i didn't really know what i was doing HAHA) and i just wanna GRRR EDIT IT ALL (or rewrite it entirely :P) i still keep it up because it's the first series i've ever completed in my entire life, but i'm thinking that one day i'll go back to the drawing board and rewrite it entirely because i have lots of ideas on how to improve it both structurally and story wise :)

🔍- does anyone in your personal life know that you write on tumblr?

nope! and i'm hoping it stays that way hehe glazelilyy is our secret so shhhh >:)

💻- three works of yours that are must reads

i'm kinda bad at reccing my own stuff cause i feel guilty about self promotion :') but i'll choose three of the ones i'm most proud of :) (all gender neutral reader by the way!)

"a sinner's promise" (with kaeya and childe)

"drunken words are sober thoughts" (with diluc and kaeya)

"their s/o is the dendro archon! vol. 2" (with kaeya, scaramouche, and dainsleif)

i promise i write more than just angst and hurt/comfort but i REALLY like those genres HAHA (also yes all of the recs have kaeya because i love him :P)

writer ask game!