#📺🌊ankle biters🌊📺

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shhhhh they're sleeping

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ok so this reads as a shitpost but im being 100% genuine rn im so sorry this is my f/os family

left to right

Moe Szyslak is my off and on boyfriend who's too homophobic to stay with someone who's genderfluid but too desperately lonely to pass up anyone that might treat him like a person

that's my dumbass self hi I'm Peri

Ponyo is down there she's my daughter I have custody over her because I'm dating her parents Fujimoto and Granmamare (long distance or.... fishtance hehe)

Ace is my husband <3 love him with my whole entire heart and more

Beavis is our (Ace and I's) son that we adopted bc he was living with a piece of shit in a crackhouse. He's a sweetheart if a little rowdy and he's teaching Ponyo bad habits

heheh hi

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our weird little family <3

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help hes teaching his little sister to be gross 😭

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OH OH also Moe is kinda clingy, and that goes for the kids, too. when he's around they're never let out of his sight, sometimes they fall asleep in his lap watching wrestling with him 🤧

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Beavis is protective of Ponyo. especially when she's young. but actually, Ponyo is the one that ends up standing up for her brother when they're older. she's had to beat up a few of his bullies

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ok this is purely self indulgent but if for some odd reason you want to read this mess here are some things you should know

I'm not gonna try to make it good at all in fact I wont even edit its pure word vomit

itll be super fucking weird

if that scared you good. bye now. cringe time hehe

Ace and I were taking the kids to Springfield again. We were gonna let em play at the arcade while we ate at a restaurant together, just the 2 of us (getting sm to take to the kids afterward too ofc) but it's nice to just have time together as much as we love the kids.

And anyway what I didnt know is that the little shit (/aff) Beavis had wandered off and saw Barney passed out on the damn pavement in front of a place called Moe's tavern and thought "cool" so anyway the little fucker went inside

So I guess Beav asked for some beer and it kinda went like

"Can you like, get me a beer, or something? The alcoholic kind not the piss water. please"

The garish man looked up from his bar only a moment, just long enough to glance at the kid before muttering "Gonna need to see some ID. The feds are already breathing down my neck. Don't need another slip up"

"ARE YOU THREATENING ME?"

"Not yet I ain't"

"Oh. Alright. Cool. Can I like, have a beer now?" Beav asked, producing some coins and a small plastic dinosaur from his pocket

"Still gonna need to see some ID. If you ain't got any, best I can offer ya is a pickled egg. Even then theres a two drink minimum on that." Moe gestured to the glass container on the counter. Two of the eggs were floating. Not good

"Whoa. Cool. So if I eat one of these eggs, I can like, have two drinks minimum? Okay" Beavis dipped his arm into the container, only to grab and eat one of the floating eggs

"KID YOU CAN'T JUST-"

Anyway I dont know what happened after that cuz Beav passed out and couldn't tell me but anyway next thing Ace and I knew there was this gargoyle of a man approached us at the restaurants, holding our son by the nape of his shirt like a kitten. Ponyo was following after him.

"The little red rat told me ya might be here." He muttered, before yelling to me, "Hey, lady, mind watching your kid? Cuz if you payed any attention to him you might know you need to take him to the hospital, pronto."

"You talkin to them, man?" Ace looked around, "Cuz I don't see any 'lady' here."

I told Ace to stop under my breath and gestured for Ponyo to come to me, before I plucked Beavis from the stranger's grasp.

"Them? Oh, so you's one of those gender neutral folk," Moe hissed, with hatred behind it

Kids are secure. They're okay. Make sure Ace doesnt do anything-

Oh.

Theyve.

Already gotten into an arguement. With their fists.

Ace hit Moe. Moe hit the floor.

So you see officer that's why my husband knocked out your town's bartender

Wiggum sighed. "Well, you didn't wreck his mug. It's Moe, can't make him any uglier. So I guess I'll let you guys off with a warning." He said, uncuffing my husband, who pulled me into a hug

"I dont think that's fair but you know what, I'll take it." I told him, and Ace and I and the kids got the hell out of there before they changed their mind

I got the bartender's number, though. Maybe I should call him. Just to make sure he didn't die

But first we're gonna take Beavis to the hospital for eating a decade old boiled egg

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Moe told them it was beer (it was juice)

they think they're drunk

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help my children are pyromaniacs

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Beav is goin thru his dad's CD's. he keeps saying it's really cool and making rabies noises

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Moe just slid juice boxes across the kitchen counter to the kids like in a western

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there are a lot of subdynamics here but in general,

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Okay new tag guide

Moe stuff: 🍂🍺The Eenie Meanie🍺🍂

Ace stuff: ♠️🎮Helplful Hardware Folk🎮♠️

The Kiddos (Beavis and Ponyo): 📺🌊Ankle Biters🌊📺