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17-noodlebird · 1 month ago

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World Four = The Craniumville Academical School For The Fairly Gifted But Still Not Good Enough Children

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Jewel: Turquoise

Power: Gravity

Color: Teal

Theme: Libraries & Educational Universities

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Objective:

Graduate with honors from the rigorous courses and classes of Professor Barnwell by competing in the Edulympics.

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Chapter IV: Are You Smarter Than A Sixth Grader?

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The fourth episode/chapter pays homage to school-based games and school-centric TV shows/episodes, university/college movies, Baldi's Basics In Education & Learning, the Duolingo app, Adam Ruins Everything, educational TV shows, and the PBS Kids shows from the 1990’s and early 2000’s. It also takes inspiration from Monsters University.

The episode begins with Team Circus in the Magical Digital Van, having just left a roadside diner for breakfast that morning after three days of traveling to their next destination. They're still shooketh by the turn of events that happened prior, with the fake mechanic, money laundering rich couple, and an evil racist prince, but they'll admit, they still had fun regardless of the setbacks. Basically, some pluses and minuses. Caine is more shaken, but refuses to let that deter him considering that this was only just the three times and that it can't be anything more than some unfortunate coincidences… at least this is what he tries to convince himself of.

After 3 more hours of traveling, they finally arrive at their next destination: the ever prestigious town of Craniumville. Craniumville appears to be just like your standard suburban neighborhood filled with houses, some small schools in certain areas, a gas station (a perfect place for them to recharge themselves and take a break from all this driving), libraries, and even some playgrounds for the kiddos. Team Circus stops by at the gas station, with Caine feeling more chipper this time around, unlike last time, and Pomni and Jax getting into the same gas station shenanigans as last time. Kinger and Zooble just kinda hang around in the parking lot, admiring the autumnal beauty of the whole place, and Gangle and Ragatha help grab some more roadside snacks for the trip at the gas station’s convenience store, while Caine and Bubble stay behind in the van, just talking to each other like they always have since the start of their long-lasting friendship. Plastered on one of the gas station walls is a poster for free admissions to one of Craniumville’s top universities, as well as the hosting of this summer’s Edulympics.

The poster catches Gangle's eye, as she examines it further. It's there that the gas station manager, who takes on the appearance of a sheep wearing sunglasses, introduces himself as Craig Hill to her and Ragatha, explains that this one's extremely hard to pass, if not outright impossible, out of all the universities in Craniumville, a town that's so focused on education, intelligence, and enlightenment more than anything in the whole digital world. Anyone would be even remotely lucky to even try, considering just how damn easy it is to get admitted into their facilities. Funnily enough, it's with this that Gangle and Ragatha are compelled to actually go to the university, despite them already being full-fledged adults in no need for further education. Perhaps this gut feeling could lead to the next jewel they're after…?

It turns out that same poster that caught Gangle's eye was also plastered on just about every surface you could think of, even the smaller scale elementary, middle, high, and community college schools in Craniumville. Now the others are further inclined to go and check this place out, in spite of the skeptical optimism it brings. Once the Magical Digital Van is ready to go, Team Circus heads off to this prestigious and hard-to-pass university that Gangle has been talking about.

Once they get there, they find that it's an incredibly large building (on the same scale as the Empire State Building in New York City, if not tremendously taller), with thousands of people also looking for an available spot in the University. The building is divided into 13 districts, one for each fraternity. And true to Gangle's word, this place is incredibly easy to get into, with just some signatures on some papers and they'll be ready to go.

But why exactly are they here? Is it destiny somehow? No matter! While everyone else is doing whatever, everyone in Team Circus is gonna do some exploring. It looks like one humongous library (as if they already hadn't seen a bunch on their way there lol), with an assortment of tubes and slides to get from one class to another, not to mention the arrangement of dorms and classrooms to boot. Just as everyone is minding their own business, Gangle finds a manga section that she's enamored with, alongside Zooble, who's aimlessly wandering around the place. Meanwhile, Pomni looks for someone to ask for directions to whatever classes they may or may not have, when she bumps into a talking ostrich and his human best friend, who welcome them to — name reveal — The Craniumville Academical School For The Fairly Gifted But Still Not Good Enough Children (the talking ostrich acknowledges the hurtful namesake of the university as they say this). They introduce themselves as Jamey Bourne (the human with the blonde bowl cut and a cow lick) and Ozzi the Ostrich (the large suave-looking flightless bird with a peculiar updo and a pair of glasses). They are both wearing school uniforms, as are the other students that aren't new here.

Of course, Ozzi and Jamey give Team Circus a tour around the campus, starting with the many classes they have to offer, taught by some of the most influential and highly erudite scholars of Craniumville. Next, they introduce them to the thirteen fraternities that are also held in high regard at the school. Shockingly (or rather, unshockingly, depending on who you ask), Caine isn't all that excited like Gangle is — quite the opposite, actually — when the tour gets increasingly expanded, from the building’s many library sections (Craniumville sure does love books; Alexandria, eat your heart out lmao), to its recreational facilities, their custom-made gymnasiums, a basketball, football, soccer, and tennis field respectively, a golf course, an entire freaking food court (like the ones you'd find at your local mall), and an in-school hotel where the most academically advanced students would sleep whenever they got good grades. All the while, Team Circus has to get used to riding escalator-like tubes that go extremely fast in order to climb up floors, and ride down some fun slides with vendors offering slide mats on the side in order to go down some floors. Upon Ragatha asking about the school uniforms, Ozzi answers that their final part of the tour will explain just that.

They all end up at the Dressing Room, where all the students in the Craniumville Academical School must put on a uniform to look presentable for the teachers and staff members. It's from there that the tour officially concludes. As Team Circus gets dressed into their new school uniforms, Jamey complains that Ozzi didn't get to use his “special powers” for the tour, which Pomni begins to overhear upon becoming intrigued. Ozzi explains that the tour wouldn't feel organic if he used them. That's when Pomni interjects and asks what kind of powers does Ozzi possess. The ostrich casually explains that he sometimes teleports to places and even time travels from time to time — not once do any of the members of Team Circus question it, having been through too much to even bother for a further explanation. Despite Jamey’s excited pleas for a demonstration, Ozzi keeps refusing, until the human boy finally gives up. That's when Team Circus finally finishes up and reveal their stunning new school uniforms, with even their accessories having changed to fit their aesthetic — Pomni's jester hat is now teal-and-cream plaid and white striped, with the jingle bells replaced with tiny little books, Ragatha's bow is now also a teal-and-cream plaid, Gangle is adorning teal-and-cream plaid hair bows on each side of her mask face, Zooble's parts are now school-themed, with them having an atom symbol on their chest, and a wooden ruler for a left leg for example, Bubble is wearing a teal-and-cream plaid bowtie on his chest, and Caine's top hat is tied into a teal-and-cream plaid ribbon bow.

In their respective dressing room areas, a card pops up from the mail chute, which reveals their dorm room numbers for where they'll be staying when they're not in class. Jamey explains that once students are finished with the tour, they are assigned to a different dorm room, as the school also acts as a boarding school. He even cheerfully says that they are lucky to have come just in time for the Edulympics, a multi-school event that happens once every 8 years, which only raises more concerns from Team Circus than reassurance.

Soon enough, once they reach the building where their dorms are at, they come to find that Pomni and Kinger both have the same dorm number, which Ozzi explains that sometimes, a student will bunk with a roommate during a semester or two, and that Professor Barnwell, the school’s head principal, says it's a good idea to keep students from getting lonely during their darkest hours. When Kinger asks about Professor Barnwell, a brief moment of awkward silence follows before Ozzi answers that as the school’s leader, it'd be best not to pester her too much, before the two say their farewells for the night to Team Circus and be on their merry way.

Pomni admires the view from the dorm building’s balcony, basking in the vastness of the whole school, with its active tubes and slides, a giant library that could rival even Harvard’s collection of books, and so much to do to keep them stimulated as well as educated. It's there that we see that all eight members of Team Circus are rooming up in pairs in four consecutive rooms: Pomni and Kinger, Jax and Ragatha, Caine and Bubble, Gangle and Zooble. Gangle is excited about the opportunity they'll all have being school students, just like the many anime shows she'd always watch with Zooble, and that her dream of being an anime schoolgirl is finally coming true. Zooble is mostly indifferent to the situation, like they had been for a while now, but is just enjoying Gangle rambling on and on about her indulgences overall. Zooble takes the time to notice a welcome gift basket for the both of them, filled with goodies and school supplies, and an individual class schedule for all of them. It turns out the other six in their other respective dorm rooms also got gift baskets with goodies, school supplies, and an individual class schedule for them to follow. Following this, all eight members of Team Circus receive a notification for their fourth objective on their communicator bracelets, before they promptly get ready for bed for the night and prepare for what's to come.

The next morning — or more precisely at 6:45 AM, — the school bell rings to signify that it's time for everyone to wake up, and everyone does just that. It's the usual “we're late for school” shenanigans for Team Circus, with everyone haphazardly getting dressed into their uniforms and rushing over to their first class of the day, all while completely forgetting that it's extremely early for such. And this is something they all learn the hard way, when they accidentally bump into this snooty schoolgirl named Katie Leone. She, in an annoyed tone of voice, explains to them that their first school bell of the day is just an alarm for everyone to get up and at ‘em and to go get their breakfast at the food court. She's not very nice about it, much to everyone's dismay. But Katie does offer to lead them to the food court as a gesture of sincerity, despite suspicions.

At the food court, Katie talks to Team Circus about what goes on here and the specifics of how things must be run in this school, as Professor Barnwell does not tolerate imperfections of any kind, especially newcomers. She says all of this in a faux compassionate voice, while also being a condescending little asshole; it even unnerves Jax a little, who would know a thing or two about being an asshole himself. Katie even proclaims that if they try anything funny, they won't last much longer, and that it would take a miracle for them to even remotely have a chance at passing their rigorous classes, let alone even try out for the Edulympics.

Eventually, 7 AM rolls around and they all head off to their first class of the day: Jax, Pomni, and Caine all have World History class, Ragatha and Kinger have Science class, Bubble has Art class, and Zooble and Gangle have Algebra class. They evidently have a hard time with their respective classes (except for Gangle for some strange reason), with Caine not really paying attention to the lesson because of the overstimulating environment, Bubble having separation anxiety, Kinger being an easily startled fellow, and Katie Leone herself having followed Zooble and Gangle to Algebra, meaning that these two share the same class as her. Yippee…

During World History, we see Professor Globalle trying to get Caine to engage with the lesson to no avail, despite the latter's best efforts, though from the looks of it, Globalle seems to be much more scared of something rather than be annoyed at Caine, which Jax calls into question. That's when we see the introduction of Professor Barnwell herself, a giant green owl with a graduation cap on her head. Barnwell is just as intimidating as she is a bit condescending about the student’s worth in life and potential to succeed in the real world. In spite of Globalle’s attempts to cool down the situation saying that not everyone is paced the same, Barnwell interjects by forcing everyone to participate in a pop quiz, much to everyone's dismay. As you'd expect, Caine has trouble concentrating, with Barnwell watching over the entire class with what appears to be a sadistic smirk on her face. It's definitely not helping the poor teeth man at all. And sadly, he's barely able to answer two questions out of 56 when time runs out, resulting in not just him failing, but evidently the whole class. And while Professor Barnwell snidely chides that everyone will need to do better if they want to graduate, Globalle reassures them all that he has no control over this and that if it were up to him, he wouldn't have let the rest of his class fail as well. Already, things are off to a really shitty start.

The scene transitions to Kinger and Ragatha not faring much better in Science class, as Dr. Plantair tries to get his class to engage in the lesson about chemical changes, only for everyone else (except Ragatha and Kinger, of course) to be completely apathetic and everyone doing their own thing, including a group of four girls playing with their tech devices, a class clown purposefully making the teacher mad by being annoying, and two older students bullying three younger ones. When one of the nameless bullies tries to get on Kinger's nerves, Ragatha attempts to stand up for her fellow friend, only for Plantair to tell her to sit down and pay attention, much to her annoyance. Eventually, when they do get to the fun part, which is really just mixing one liquid with another in some lab flasks, the class clown teams up with the two bullies to scare-prank Kinger, while one of the tech addict girls records the whole thing. Ragatha is quick to notice this, and tries to tell Dr. Plantair, only for it to quickly turn into a heated argument as the cruel prank takes place before both of their eyes, with the chemicals being spilt, which is actually dangerous, mind you. And rather than take action and punish the mean students, Plantair blames all of his students (including poor Kinger and Ragatha) for wasting today's lesson on “mindless carelessness” and an inability to engage with what was supposed to be a fun lesson. So everyone is forced to clean the classroom up and end class early. Ouch.

We then join Bubble in Art class, who is trying not to explode internally as Mr. Spotlight teaches his students how to make a clay vase. Some rowdy students try to deviate from the lesson, and Bubble tries to ignore them, to almost no avail. It's relatively the calmest this class has to offer considering the only genuine event that happens is the poor soap bubble having a vivid panic attack, which the rough-housers pick fun of for their own amusement. How depressing.

Algebra class is by far the toughest for Gangle and Zooble as they are at first being constantly outmatched by Katie Leone, who's just answering up a storm with what Mr. Emcee perceives her to be “highly superior”, in that he'd prefer all of his students to be just like her. It doesn't help that the other students envy Katie to the point where they're all taking it out on each other. Meanwhile, Gangle is genuinely enjoying herself with the lesson, and when she's eventually called by Emcee after so many turns with Katie, everyone is surprised (and maybe even a little furious) by how calm under pressure she remains. Zooble, although silent, is bearing with it all, despite looking like they could cry at any moment, an ironic turning of the tables for both characters. Emcee, in an attempt to lessen the tension he himself created with his favoritism, challenges all of his students to a Kahoot quiz, and surprise, surprise, it's Gangle who emerges triumphant as she manages to swiftly answer each mathematical equation correctly, faster than Katie Leone, I might add.

Second class of the day for our beloved Team Circus finally arrives; Pomni and Caine are unfortunate enough to endure the torment in Science class, while Gangle just minds her own business, despite Plantair also deciding to take his frustrations out on her, which for once doesn't actually phase her — and she's not even wearing her comedy mask, as Pomni notices. It would appear she forgot to put one on again, possibly due to the rush of this morning. Ragatha, Jax and Bubble also have Algebra, but as the lesson is being taught, Emcee keeps bringing up Katie and how amazing of a student she is, much to everyone's else's annoyance. Kinger and Zooble have Art class, and the presence of Katie just makes the unfortunate mix-and-match being feel like they're walking on eggshells, with them being forced to compete with Katie over building the best clay sculpture, with Katie emerging victorious every time.

Then comes the third class of the day, in which we are introduced to a new classroom with Professor Giz. If any of you have ever been to engineering classes, you could probably imagine how egregiously rigorous and challenging it can be, with all the complicated software and machine crap, as Pomni, Jax, Ragatha, and Gangle can all attest to, to the point where not even Giz himself can figure it out or do it right, rendering his students even more confused. Caine is relentlessly bullied for his appearance and spaciness by the other students in Art class, and so is Kinger in Algebra class, with Bubble faring no better in Science class (with one of the students even making him cry). Katie Leone once again tries to humiliate and outmatch Zooble in World History, and Globalle, being the cowardly doormat he is, does not do jack diddly motherfucking squat about it, leaving Zooble in tears.

Fourth class of the day is a pitiful low for Team Circus, with Pomni absolutely fumbling Art class, not to mention her jester hat being a bit of an eyesore for some of the more cynical students there. Algebra is the absolute worst for Caine, as despite being an AI (a reprogrammed AI who evolved beyond his purpose, but an AI nonetheless), the fast-paced nature of the class and Emcee’s constant storytelling of Katie Leone’s intelligence is worsening his anxiety. Meanwhile in Science, Jax notices Zooble in distress over being overshadowed by Katie, but can't do a damn thing about it after Plantair berates his class for “wasting his time” with their consistent apathy. World History is relatively calmer for Ragatha, Kinger, Gangle, and Bubble, and Gangle is somewhat dominating the class with her enticing knowledge, and essentially saving everyone’s asses from failure.

Lunchtime finally rolls around as Team Circus heads back to the food court, and the crowd is packed. They all look like they've seen better days, save for Gangle, who basically just looks focused right now. Pomni comments to the others how she noticed that Gangle isn't wearing her comedy mask for some reason, causing Jax to make an “I knew it!” face from within the background. When asked further by Ragatha, Jax states that the reason for his reaction is that while stuck at the Circus, he theorized that Gangle's masks weren't what they seemed; he had seen Gangle truly happy without her comedy mask at least three times before, so he attested that the her comedy mask suppressed how she truly felt, while her tragedy mask was her true self.

Amidst the cacophony of chatting friend groups, pranksters, the members of Team Circus talk about their days to each other and how they went, and suffice to say, they were exactly great. In fact, the teachers didn't really help in matters. Not to mention that the visit from Professor Barnwell, the headmistress of the Craniumville Academy, in History class this morning, put a damper on Jax, Caine, and Pomni's spirits. We see the return of Jamey and Ozzi, with the former asking what's wrong upon arrival at their table. At least they haven't forgotten them, so this is a plus for them.

They each individually tell them of their own woes, and they can both sympathize with them as something similar happened to them at the school as well. Ozzi reveals he doesn't trust any of the teachers, but he chooses to lay low so as not to stir a ruckus, since Professor Barnwell has leverage against all of her students. Not even the well-meaning teachers are safe. And as it turns out, Craniumville U isn't the only victim of this. It's everywhere. But they don't have time to get into that as lunchtime has already passed, and all of Team Circus head off to their fifth classes of the day.

If the others’ experiences are anything to go by, Pomni's time in Algebra was kinda mellow thanks to her excellent math skills, except she didn't learn diddly squat with Emcee still rambling on about how Katie Leone is such a great student. Pomni barely even knows Katie. And the irony continues for Caine in Engineering class, where because of his knowledge on technology, there are a lot of things Giz gets wrong — much to everyone's dismay, Caine's frustration, and Giz’s butthurtness.

We finally get to see a new class as we join Ragatha, Jax, Bubble, and Kinger in Music class, and the four of them are just anticipating the worst possible outcome when they are greeted by the seemingly legit presence of Professor Alto. He's eerily relaxed, if not a bit persnickety with how things are run. Everyone is assigned to a different family of music instruments: strings, percussion, brass, woodwind, and choir. Jax is assigned the trombone, Ragatha, the violin, Kinger, the tambourine, and Bubble as one of the sopranos. Things are off to a surprisingly pleasant start, until a few moments later where everything just turns into the movie Whiplash, and everyone is left to suffer for things that weren't even remotely their fault. Alto expects things to be perfect, as in his definition of perfect, and because those standards are impossible to reach, Music class is a nightmare to deal with. But hey, at least you get to play the tambourine!

There is yet another new class we haven't seen before, and it's Home Ec class, taught by Professor Tate. Gangle and Zooble are paired up once more, just like back in 1st period, and once again, Katie Leone rears her stuck-up head by turning a simple meal cooking lesson into an all out competition. And for once, Gangle finally grows a spine and attempts to get Katie to back off from Zooble, only to be stopped by Professor Tate, who is just as apathetic to the relentless bullying as most of the others are here, and just wants to eat food. Anyone seeing a pattern yet?

Zooble is grateful for Gangle standing up for them, and something stirs inside them as a result, but they'll have to set that aside for later.

For their sixth classes of the day, Pomni, Jax, Ragatha, and Kinger find that their Home Ec teacher, Professor Tate, is a lazy glutton who is using his students for free food. Music class is utterly traumatic for Caine. Bubble and Zooble have Engineering class with Professor Giz, and once again, Katie Leone is tormenting the heck out of Zooble, to which Giz merely watches as though it's quality entertainment instead actually stopping it, leaving Bubble perpetually helpless. Gangle excels at Art class, though.

Then for their seventh classes, we head back to Music class, Katie Leone is treated like the golden child by Alto, while everyone else is left with psychological scars, especially Zooble. Pomni and Gangle take Alto’s unpredictable rage much better than Zooble, especially Gangle, considering that she still isn't wearing her comedy mask. In Home Ec class, Bubble and the other students are treated like servants to Tate while Caine wallows in a curled-up position in a corner, still trying to process what happened in Music class. Jax and Ragatha finally get to have a bit of breather in Art class, as they're learning how to make ceramic mugs. And lastly, Kinger teaches Giz a thing or two about technology, which in Craniumville U is a big no-no for Professor Barnwell, but at least Giz is humbled for at least a little bit before ignoring his epiphany back to the status quo.

And finally, we reach their eighth and final class of the day, PE. The gang's all reunited, some looking worse for wear than others. They all have to get into their gym uniforms in order to participate in an obstacle course set up by their coach, Mr. Yew. And wouldn't you freaking know it, Katie Leone is here with them, much to Gangle's irritation and Zooble's dismay. Luckily for them, their buddies, Ozzi and Jamey, are here with them as well, the former noticing the rough shape Team Circus is currently in. Neither of them have time to explain themselves to each other as they all have to line up in order for Yew to give out whatever motivational speech he has in store for them… not that it'll make a difference for any of them. And, as per frickin’ usual, Katie manages to outperform the others in the damn obstacle course in the gymnasium, while the others more or less either manage to trudge their way through a series of tires, ropes, ladders, rock climbing sets, monkey bars, and bridges, and succeed in the end, or fail trying to make it out. Not even the talking ostrich and his human buddy could make it all the way. The only one praised for their efforts is — you guessed it — Katie Leone. But the good news is that school's finally over for the day afterwards, and everyone gets to do whatever until tomorrow. Not that anyone is excited unfortunately.

Everyone is exhausted and distressed. Wasn't school supposed to be a fun experience? What's with all the school staff being so discouraging and the students being such assholes? The only good ones here seem to be Ozzi and Jamey, they've come to realize. After the others go to the ginormous library to cool off, where everyone has begun studying or pulling off all-nighters, Gangle decides to look for some manga to read, when she stumbles upon one of the posters for the Edulympics. Turns out they all forgot about it when they had a rough first day at school today, as it was in their objective on their communicator bracelets to join the Edulympics. So… all hope isn't lost?

Gangle goes to Ozzi and Jamey to ask about the Edulympics in Craniumville U, and his answer is that it's a multi-school competition to see which school reigns supreme in all of Craniumville. Apparently, the talking ostrich finds the whole Edulympics to be extremely pointless, including the way the entire education system in Craniumville is run, but Gangle tells him that they have been thinking about participating in the Edulympics… to maybe help Craniumville U win. Jamey interjects saying that it's still their first day, so they'll have to gain more experience here in the school if they want to join, not to mention the games don't start until later this summer. That means they'll have to do a lot of waiting and endure more of the educational torture that they went through today in order for that to be possible. Although Gangle thanks them anyway, Ozzi insists he and Jamey come join with, noticing the others’ misery from a mile away.

While Jamey is a little more empathetic to Team Circus’s plights, Ozzi looks at them as though he knows something they don't, with an expression of pity and cynicism. Jamey tries to reassure them that it's not all bad if you try to stay vigilant enough, but they're not really in the spirit of things at the moment, especially not Caine, who looks like he had been crying. Jamey boldly suggests he grab one of Craniumville U’s top notch tutors to help them with whatever troubles they're currently going through, despite reassurances that it's not necessary. Ozzi doesn't think it's a good idea, but the wide-eyed optimistic human sidekick continues to insist, lest Ozzi reveal his superpowers to them, which the former vehemently protests yet again. The conversation had long lost its steam, however, so Team Circus and Ozzi and Jamey go back to their respective dorms and part ways.

On their way back, they each tell them about their individual schedules, noticing how they all went to the same specific classes, each having varying degrees of eggshell-walking, uselessness, and apathetic atmosphere. Gangle is the most composed of the bunch for some reason, despite not wearing her comedy mask today, who is pretty much used to daily schtick of being harassed, pushed around, tossed aside, and ignored, to the point that it doesn't faze her when she's thrust into a completely unfamiliar (yet familiar at the same time) environment. Zooble clings on to Gangle for comfort, for the latter has been the only one by her side when Katie tormented the mix-and-match being. For the first time, Zooble feels vulnerable.

Back in the dorm room Gangle and Zooble are staying in, the ribbony girl laments how she had initially been excited to live out her anime fantasy, only to be let down in what had to be the most disappointing and anticlimactic reality check she ever faced. She's not even disappointed by the fact that her fantasies don't match her (digital) reality, but rather, she's disappointed that she was completely fine with it. She's upset that she didn't suffer as much as Zooble did; she had largely zoned out into her studies because it interested her. She had discovered that she’s actually good at math and science, something she hasn't told the others about. Zooble on the other hand is more than happy for their best friend, in that Gangle actually cares about getting a good education, while the others are just focused on finding that next jewel; it's a sign that the road trip is going swimmingly, that at least one of them is completely immersed in this world that was catered specifically for them! Plus, Gangle's expertise in the smartsy stuff might come in handy in the Edulympics someday.

Meanwhile, in Jax and Ragatha’s room, they all talk about the teachers who were either assholes, potentially dangerous people, like Emcee and his apparent obsession with Katie Leone (while Katie may have been a bitchface to Zooble, she could very well be just as much of a victim as the rest of Team Circus), or straight up textbook definitions of mediocrity — at best! Jax had always thought it'd be the school’s gym coach who was icky, like he had been led to believe from watching too much television, but he had never expected it to be their freakin’ math teacher… but neither of them can say for sure because, first off, this was only their first day, and second, it'd be unwise to jump to conclusions now and start a metaphorical fire with such a serious accusation. They'll just have to wait and see for now.

In the third dorm room, Pomni is deciding to pull an all-nighter, despite there being no upcoming exams yet, as Kinger reminds her. Pomni is quick to tell the chess piece that she doesn't want to take any chances and is choosing to be prepared, given what happened in World History. This will more than likely cost whatever sanity she might have left, but I digress. Kinger just goes to sleep for the night — or at least tries to; Pomni's all-nighter isn't making it easy for him.

Lastly, we find Bubble and Caine trying to watch a good movie on TV, but none of them are really in the spirit to. Valerie takes the time to comment to Bethany that they remember how their first day at school didn't go so well for them either, and that they hope things don't get worse for Team Circus from here on out… but if the previous three adventures taught them anything, you'd know by now that it will definitely get worse from here. But for now, they seem to be in the clear.

Early at 5:55 AM the next morning, Jamey enthusiastically knocks on the door of one of four rooms, the one where Caine and Bubble are placed in, which greatly bothers both of them, seeing that it's way too early for this crap. Jamey then drags them out of the room after some pleading, in which they meet a new character in the giant library, where a select few students are also pulling all-nighters of their own, just like Pomni was earlier. She is a young lady who appears to be one of the school's staff members, judging by her appearance in clothing and age. She warmly welcomes them both with a big hug, startling the ringmaster-turned-student with the suddenness of the physical contact. The teacher in question introduces herself as Ms. Jennifer Ahn, and that she'll be Team Circus's official tutor. She can't wait to help out with their studies and get them into the Edulympics, so that Craniumville U can finally snag a win after decades of not being able to do so. Jamey looks so proud of himself for coming up with this oh-so-brilliant idea, while Caine and Bubble are just straight up confused, trying to process what in God's name just happened. Jamey is off to fetch the others, while Ozzi arrives much later to find that he's already too late to stop his buddy. Ozzi does not look optimistic in the slightest about this.

Jamey drags the rest of the six human performers-turned-students, all of whom are tired as hell. Pomni hasn't slept a wink and is back to her old jittery self as she was when she first got trapped in this virtual world a couple of years ago, except now with more cantankerousness; Kinger is not having it at all and just wants to be left the hell alone; Ragatha is frozen in place from anxiety, while Jax drifts in and out of sleep during random intervals; Zooble looks like they just cried themselves to sleep last night and Gangle is more or less stoic. Ms. Ahn takes notes of their conditions and promises that she'll do everything she can to bring out the best in them, showing enthusiasm for her mission to “make them better”. Jamey individually introduces the members of Team Circus and that they're all new students here, having just trudged through their first day. Ms. Ahn sympathizes with them, since no one in Craniumville U ever has a good first day at the school, but she strives to make the rest of their school year better, through her tutoring skills and preparation for the harsh environment they'll have to face for the first four months of this semester. Jamey explains that she's good at basically every school subject there is, she knows the school staff by heart — even Professor Barnwell —, and she knows the basic ins and outs of this facility, even the sororities and fraternities. Jamey even offers to join along with the tutoring sessions to make them feel more comfortable. At first, none of them are too keen on the idea, having been bamboozled three times in the span of almost a week now, but Gangle immediately accepts the offer, if it means they'll be one step closer to joining the Edulympics and finding the next jewel. Begrudgingly, the rest of Team Circus accepts their fate as well, and their first tutoring session begins before the start of their first class of the day. Ozzi notices a shadow in the distance on one of the library balconies, seemingly in the shape of Professor Barnwell herself. Ozzi knows something, but doesn't have the heart to tell them. At least not yet.

Cue the school montage! This includes all the times Team Circus gets tutored by Ms. Ahn on World History, Art, Science, Engineering, Algebra, Music, and even Home Ec, the bad teachers being defied and the relatively decent ones being impressed and even proud of their efforts, Zooble being relentlessly bullied by Katie Leone (ranging from tasteless pranks to actual physical assault), and Gangle saving the day in troubled times, all the while Professor Barnwell looms in the distance as a shadowy figure, as Ozzi and Jamey do their best to support them. They even also study into the night for big tests and exams for their respective classes, not caring about sleep in the slightest while they do so. As the days progress, in spite of the exhaustion, they continue to grow more and more satisfied and even proud of their efforts, with Gangle even being in the top of her classes, outranking the longtime top-of-the-class Katie Leone. Caine finally gets used to the uncaring environment of some of the classes, even though he's a shaking wreck afterwards, but nonetheless considers it worth it for the others. The dimensional diplomats watch and provide witty commentary here and there as the montage progresses. This is all while “Gospel” by MarchForth Marching Band plays, where the four months of the first semester for Team Circus plays out in just six minutes for the audience.

The montage ends with Professor Barnwell onstage in the school’s gymnasium, speaking through the podium stand’s microphone about her students’ job well done throughout the rigorous four months, and congratulating the remaining students who haven't dropped out or gotten expelled for surviving the first half of their school year by rewarding them a winter break party in one of the fraternities’ facilities. They all loudly cheer in victory, except for Ozzi (who distrusts Barnwell with a contemptuous passion), Zooble (who is staring off into the distance with a disturbed look on their face, finally knowing true fear for the first time in their digital life), Caine (who is overstimulated from the cacophony of the crowd), and a worried Gangle, who looks at a visibly shaking Zooble, and then darting a quick glare at Katie Leone, who herself is celebrating another successful semester with the rest of the students.

The scene cuts to a snowy night, where the fraternity building of Tau Iota Kappa, and everyone is heading towards the very large mansion-like house that's 15 stories tall, including Team Circus. Even Jamey and Ozzi have come along. Entire groups of students are talking about how excited they are for the party, while flashing multicolored lights can be seen from the windows, as well as muffled techno music from inside the house. Caine, Pomni, and Kinger are wearing noise-canceling headphones that dimensional diplomat Yolanda gave them via their communicator bracelets, Jax, Ragatha, and Bubble are talking amongst themselves about how they can't believe they just went through four months of hell and how this was definitely worth the party they were going to tonight. Gangle is holding Zooble's hand the whole way there, assuring them that she won't let Katie Leone bother her while they're at the party. Jamey pats himself on the back to Ozzi about how he knew that his plan would work and that they'll be able to survive the rest of the school year with no problems, even though Ozzi has his doubts, as he tells Jamey he's seen firsthand how everything can and will go wrong if he keeps shielding them from the truth. Just because Ozzi and Jamey were the lucky ones like Katie Leone was, that doesn't mean everyone is, the ostrich warns his human compadre. Jamey chooses to see the bright side of things, although now that Ozzi mentions it, he is beginning to feel nervous himself, but he decides to brush it off for now, as it's officially party time.

They all at last reach the party, and sure enough, it's extremely crowded with students talking amongst themselves, students on the dance floor having fun to the loud, upbeat, and overly energetic rave music played by the DJ, Professor Alto of all people, (who'da guessed?) snacks and drinks (both alcoholic and non-alcoholic) being served, board games and video games being played by the students in one of the rooms, the giant TV screens playing Christmas-themed movies on the second floor of the house, and even the school staff enjoying themselves in a rare moment of humanity coming from them. The only school staff member allegedly not being present is Professor Barnwell herself. They all assume she's much too busy with paperwork for that sort of thing.

Gangle, alongside her companion Zooble, goes over to Jamey and Ozzi to thank them for helping her and her friends through their first semester, to which Ozzi warmly and humbly accepts their gratitude, taking joy in lending a kind hand to those in need. Jamey does the same as well, but is a little more tense about it due to thinking about some things. Gangle wants to bring over Ms. Ahn for helping them out and to thank her as well, so she asks Ozzi to look after Zooble while she goes to do so, to which he accepts the offer. Gangle thanks him again and heads off. Meanwhile, Pomni, Kinger, and Caine are away from the dance floor, sitting on the sofa in one of the rooms where a couple of random students are playing Super Smash Bros., and they cheer those students on. Jax shows off his dance skills to another random group of party-going students, and Ragatha finally lets loose after some persuasion from Bubble, after which they both get absolutely wasted in a drinking contest they won in a tie between three other students.

Katie Leone is just wandering around carrying a red SOLO cup filled with fruit punch when she spots Ozzi, Jamey, and Zooble just having an idle conversation with each other. Katie goes over to them to “make amends” with Zooble, though immediately, the mix-and-match superstar-turned-student is distrustful after all the classroom pranks and hallway altercations they've had to endure for the last four months, but Katie reassures her that it's all in the past and that they should just enjoy themselves while they last. Ozzi and Jamey attempt to stop Katie from whatever mischief they think she's causing, only to falter when she hands them a pair of cups for them both as a token of “no hard feelings”. Still skeptical, they each take a sip of their respective cups and walk alongside them.

At first, it looks like Zooble and Katie have finally become friends, with them playing beer pong at the pool table and the group showing off their dance moves to the others, among other wild party activities in the fraternity house. With each passing minute, Ozzi, Jamey, and Zooble start to feel a little wonky, but are having too much fun to notice or even really care… That is until they meet up with Jax, and right away, the purple bunny takes notice that something is off. Like really off. The only one who doesn't seem to be acting any differently is Katie Leone, who tries to offer Jax a drink as well, but he bluntly refuses. Katie says that it's just some fruit punch and that he shouldn't worry, but he continues to insist on not having one. Meanwhile, Gangle and Ms. Ahn meet up with Ozzi, Jamey, and Zooble, who all look drunk, despite only having fruit punch given by Katie. She and Ms. Ahn try to get them to snap out of it until Gangle asks where they got the punch from, which Jamey answers by slurring that it was Katie. Zooble tells Gangle that she's not such a bad person if you get to know her better (also in a slurred tone of voice). Katie leads the three astray from Gangle and Ms. Ahn, while the two grab the rest of their friend group — Kinger, Pomni and Caine are informed that Zooble could be in danger if they don't hurry, triggering Caine's flight or fight response out of a desire to protect his loved ones; next, they go grab Jax, who is well aware of the situation and doesn't dare refuse; and lastly, they grab a very intoxicated Ragatha and Bubble, who are too out of it to notice the fear and panic in everyone, including, Ms. Ahn.

Unfortunately, by the time they arrive outside, it's too late; Katie Leone and a handful of students and even a couple of teachers who attended the party are pummeling the drugged trio in the middle of a brewing snowstorm with trash, food, and even punching and kicking them, calling them names while they're at it. Ms. Ahn, Gangle, and Jax break up the group and rescue Ozzi, Jamey, and Zooble respectively, as the other members of Team Circus fend off the relentless bullies, including Katie Leone, who brought them all outside for this cruel prank. As Pomni leaves to grab the rest of the staff members, Ms. Ahn breaks up the group by dragging the teachers out of the dogpile and angrily scolds them for “setting a bad example for the students”, only for Professor Barnwell to emerge from within the wintery blizzard shadows, silencing the mayhem going on outside. They all look terrified, except for Katie Leone and the bully students and teachers, who look like they're only sorry they got caught. Professor Barnwell asks calmly but ominously what the hullabaloo is. Ms. Ahn tries to say that she and a few students were trying to save Ozzi, Jamey, and Zooble, but her words only come out in stammers, but no one can be too sure if she really is just that afraid of Barnwell or if the weather is getting cold enough to make her shiver vigorously. Barnwell does not say a word as she approaches Katie Leone and the other students and teachers who joined in on the prank. Katie looks ready to accept her fate for whatever punishment Barnwell has in store. Instead Barnwell just… hugs her, saying that she's… proud of her. No one says anything, despite the horrified looks on their faces. Professor Barnwell delivers a really breaking speech about how some people were never meant to fit in, no matter how successful or influential they are, because if there are others more superior than them going out of their way to show them where their place is in the world, they shouldn't be scolded, but rather praised for reminding those “inferior morsels of society” that they shouldn't be allowed to exist in the first place, but also that they should consider themselves lucky that they're still here anyway because letting them live is a form of mercy that Barnwell herself shows all the time to the students who don't exactly fit the spitting image of Craniumville U's status of superiority and excellence. She then goes on to say that whoever these new students are, they outta reconsider joining the Edulympics if they know what's good for them. She ends the speech by saying that Craniumville deserves better than them, before flying off into the snowstorm. The atmosphere is silent and somber, and the dimensional diplomats from the other side are too stunned to speak, having traces of outrage and horror painted on their expressions.

Pomni manages to arrive late with Professor Globalle by her side, only to realize that the chaos had already ceased, with Ms. Ahn leading the staff away from the drugged up Jamey, Ozzi and Zooble. Globalle, who was informed of the situation on the way out by the jester-turned- student, handles the students, and Pomni opts to join him. Gangle is stuck wearing a thousand yard stare until she sees Katie Leone amongst the group of students being led by Globalle and Pomni, which causes her to instinctively walk towards Katie, and rip her a new one with what she and the others did to Zooble, Jamey, and Ozzi, and that she and the others will not submit to the unfair and unreasonable standards placed on her and her friends. Katie, without a hint of remorse or even any emotion for that matter, says that what Barnwell says is final; all of Craniumville’s schools have to adhere to the same principles, unfair or otherwise. Gangle rebukes this statement, saying that it will never excuse or justify tormenting those who don't meet their definition of “excellence”, no matter what. Katie attempts to slap Gangle in the face, but the latter stops her before she continues her call-out rant, declaring that she is not afraid of her, that they will compete in the Edulympics, and that she will prove all them wrong with the power of persistence and friendship. Katie is still not deterred by what Gangle has to say, asking her coldy what does she know about bullying, but is immediately surprised when she angrily reveals to Katie that she knows what it's like to be bullied and tormented on an almost daily basis, and that she doesn't want anyone to go through what she goes through, especially not Zooble. She ends the tirade by saying that no matter what happens, she will never let Katie, Barnwell, or the others break their spirits and they will never stop them from from competing in the Edulympics, and that someday, they'll look back on their youth, and realize just how empty and miserable they let themselves become by contributing nothing to this place in how they're currently acting towards their peers. No more words are said as everyone is left to process what she said, including Jax, who is straight up shocked (and a little impressed) that Gangle finally grew a spine after all these years. Everyone just stands there, left to process everything that just happened, while Gangle runs back over to the others to comfort them.

The scene transitions back to the dorm building early the next morning, with the snowstorm still raging on, where in Gangle and Zooble's room, Jamey and Ozzi are recovering from having their fruit punch spiked, as is Zooble themself. Jamey feels betrayed for the first time ever, having let his guard down for someone he knew was a bad egg, to which Ozzi reassures him that it was not his fault; it was bound to happen eventually. Ozzi reveals that a lot of Craniumville students in many different schools had to endure all sorts of bullies just like this one. Gangle refuses to let that stop her or her friends, still being determined to finish the school year stronger than ever. Ozzi stumbles upon the luggage Zooble and Gangle brought with them from their road trip, and notices something glossy in one of them. He takes a look and finds that it's one of Gangle's comedy masks peeking in there. Ozzi asks about the comedy mask, and Gangle answers with a story: she used to wear them to make her happier and to hide how she truly feels deep down because she was always being picked on by a peer of hers — that peer being Jax, of course. Ozzi is shocked and horrified that Jax was a bully to Gangle, seeing just how mellow he had been when he first met him and the others. She continues by say that she suppressed her emotions in order to deal with having to endure a really difficult environment around her, even though the comedy masks would always break, whether by accident or by Jax’s doing. Gangle used to be bullied constantly by Jax before she mustered up the courage to tell Caine. She now wonders if she should have said anything at all because even though now Jax has toned down his antics, the relationship between him and Caine soured as a result, and she holds guilt for that as a result.

Jamey is quick to get upset that Jax would even do such a thing, even though Gangle tells him that there's no need to be; he's already learned his lesson as far as she's concerned. Ozzi looks over to Zooble, who is inconsolable from last night's events, curled up and shaking. He laments that he remembers when he had been bullied by his tormentors the same way Zooble was, and no one did a goddamn thing to stop it, so he kinda had to put up with it… until he met Jamey, who was also being bullied by the other students. It would turn out that Jamey and Ozzi weren't the only victims, with hundreds of others being so relentlessly harassed and tormented that they dropped out or took drastic measures to stop the pain from continuing… Jamey and Ozzi found comfort in each other through their shared suffering, and because they were always together, the bullying eventually stopped altogether since that meant they couldn't individually pick on them anymore. Gangle empathizes with them both, as they all take a glance outside their room’s window, wondering to themselves what they're going to do now. As the camera pans outside to the ongoing snowstorm, we see Professor Barnwell talking on the phone with someone, where they discuss the Edulympics and what she expects to happen; Craniumville U is going to snag that win at all costs by breaking her students psychologically into becoming soulless robots that will do their bidding unconditionally, and if it means getting getting rid of those she can't mold into spitting images of herself and allowing those bullies to have free range on those she can “fix”, then so be it. When Barnwell hangs up from the phone call, she flies over back into the building where she meets up with Katie Leone and Mr. Emcee in one of Craniumville U's teacher's lounges and, with an evil smirk on her face, congratulating them for the completion of the first stage of their plan, and that it's time to activate the second stage. Whatever this plan is, it most certainly spells trouble for our fellow members of Team Circus…

Three more months pass and it's finally springtime, and not much has changed at all from when Team Circus first arrived. In the food court, where everyone is eating their respective lunches, Pomni takes notes on how this is the longest adventure they've been on to date. The classes are still just as horrible as they were when they first got here, the bullies and teachers have somehow worsened, and the only thing they look forward to now is Ms. Ahn’s tutoring lessons, which have helped greatly with their education, but have done nothing to mitigate the teachers belittling their effort and hard work. They each talk about what happened in their classes last period, both the good and the bad, including the pop quizzes some of them managed to ace during them. They are interrupted by Ozzi and Jamey checking up on the gang as per usual, and like always, they catch them up on the latest events that happened today. Zooble looks tired, but not defeated, as they, and the rest of Team Circus, are still confident that this will all pay off in the end. We see that Ms. Ahn has decided to join them too, as she wants to know all the details about everyone so she can bond with them and get them one step closer to joining the Edulympics. And so, they do. Though after the events prior, they take notice as to how Ms. Ahn’s dialogue is a bit forced, as though someone is telling her what to say. However, they're all too tired to investigate further.

When eighth period finally rolls around for PE class, the others are immediately greeted by Jamey, Ozzi, and Ms. Ahn, who has opted to take notes of the occurrences going on in that class. As soon as everyone is in their gym uniforms, Mr. Yew does his usual schtick as a PE coach, the importance of fitness, how they all need to train themselves if anyone is considering joining the Edulympics, blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda… Ozzi immediately has a bad feeling about this when he catches the shadow of Professor Barnwell looming in the distance yet again, and this time, Jamey and Zooble notice too, still remembering vividly what happened at the party that previous winter. Zooble informs Gangle about Professor Barnwell’s secret presence, and as a result, Gangle tries telling the others to no avail, being put back in place by Yew’s coach whistle as he continues his lecture. Meanwhile, Ms. Ahn doesn't seem too concerned at all, despite having every reason to be as a fellow staff member, much to the anxious skepticism from Gangle and the perpetual heartbreak of what's to inevitably come for Ozzi. Katie Leone is still as smug as ever, looking like she knows something they don't.

We are presented to the same obstacle course from their first day of school and the montage that came after, but this time, longer and coarser than it has been in the first semester. Fortunately for Team Circus, they're not afraid of it, as they've been able to survive much worse back at home. Jamey and Ozzi, on the other hand, feel like they're being stalked, with the Zooble and Katie rivalry continuing forth, and Ms. Ahn is unfathomably confident in her prowess. While “Eye Of The Tiger” by Survivor plays, the members of Team Circus, Jamey, Ozzi, and Katie run through the obstacle course through sheer perseverance and a teaspoon of teamwork, while Ms. Ahn looks like she's barely even breaking a sweat, much to the suspicions of everyone except Katie, who is focused on Zooble the whole way through. We then cut to Jamey climbing on one of the ropes for the last portion of the obstacle course, and he is quick to notice that the rope looks like it's about to snap. However, not wanting to delay, he climbs up one of the ropes anyway and finally reaches the top to ring the bell. However when it's Ozzi’s turn, his weight as an ostrich causes the rope to snap, much to everyone's horror (except for Mr. Yew, Ms. Ahn, who merely fakes surprise, and the looming Professor Barnwell in the distance), as he falls down and breaks his wing on the gym mat below. Before the others could react, the rest of the ropes snap as well, causing everyone else to fall down the gym mats as well. Only Jamey and Katie were able to make it to the top.

Everything comes to a halt when Mr. Yew begrudgingly comes to check on Ozzi, who is absolutely writhing in pain, as well as the members of Team Circus, who — to the surprise of Katie, Ozzi, Jamey, Mr. Yew and Ms. Ahn — don't appear injured from the fall, just traumatized. Katie looks pissed, almost as though she was kinda expecting them to all get injured from the snapped ropes. To further add insult to the very literal injuries sustained by Ozzi, Katie decides to push Jamey off the balcony of the rope bell tower, just for laughs.

And indeed there are laughs coming from Professor Barnwell, who's holding a metallic nail file in her wing, and Mr. Emcee, who is holding a recording video camera. Katie slides down from the bell tower’s slide and gladly skips over to Barnwell and Emcee, seemingly excited to show the others their secret plan. That's when Ms. Ahn stands up and walks over to Barnwell, confusing the members of Team Circus. Jamey looks incredibly guilty over not telling Ozzi something, while Ozzi looks emotionally drained, and disappointed in Jamey in what he has to say. Jamey admits that he went over to talk to Professor Barnwell about giving the new students a helping hand using one of their more experienced staff members as a tutor, to which Barnwell agreed. What Jamey didn't take into account was that Barnwell’s security cameras took notice of Jamey's desires to help others in any way he could, so she exploited that for her grand plan to land Craniumville U in the winning spot for this year's Edulympics, as an attempt to prove to the others that they are not lenient, they are neither kind nor gentle, as Professor Barnwell admits that it was never about getting good grades or being educated; it was about who was worthy of maintaining power over the lesser (the lesser being the less gifted). Jamey had a heart of gold who saw the good in everyone, even Katie Leone, so Barnwell exploited that in order to show that being merciful to those who weren't smart enough was a weakness. Ms. Ahn was a pawn in that scheme who willfully followed their twisted philosophy over intelligence and ignorance because she secretly held the same defeatist beliefs Barnwell held, but maintained the sweet façade to lure people into their dooms. Emcee saw Katie as a pawn for his own scheme to raise his reputation as the most intelligent math teacher in all of Craniumville, even though he was anything but; he needed a means to keep up the charade of being a know-it-all, so he molded Katie into an extension of himself for several years. There were very few people that actually did value education over maintaining power over people, but Barnwell made sure to silence them every time they had to say anything. Ozzi knew the whole damn time, and tried time and time again to warn Jamey, but he never listened to him. The video evidence would be used as a way to convince the other Craniumville schools that they aren't weak-willed like the others (failing to take into account that actually cutting the ropes rather than using rickety old ropes that would have broken from the wear and tear anyway would be cheating in the matter, but more on that later), and that only the best of the best (Katie Leone included) would compete in the Edulympics, and they are not that at all.

Everyone from Team Circus is betrayed for the fourth time, but this time, Jamey looks just as betrayed as they are, as he was unaware of the extent of their actions, despite the fact that he really should have known they would've pulled a stunt like this. And they all should have known that Ms. Ahn really was just another bad guy acting as another obstacle. They can only look in indignation as Ms. Ahn is paid with a hefty stack of money by Barnwell. Ms. Ahn bid them all one final farewell, gleefully remarking how it was fun to hang out with them while it lasted. Jamey is all but remorseful in his expression, as his willful ignorance to the reality of the situation has cost him greatly. All the while, the dimensional diplomats can only provide banter over the situation, letting the audience know just how badly the situation has gotten from this point onwards.

Two weeks pass, and by then Ozzi's broken wing had already healed. Everyone is noticeably down in the dumps, but this time with more tension in the atmosphere from the anger and disappointment they feel at having fallen for yet another trap in someone's convoluted scheme. Everyone, that is, except Gangle, who tries to cheer up the others by trying to initiate a productive conversation, but none of them are in the mood, with even Caine shutting her down, saying that now's not the time for such matters. That's when Ozzi comes into the picture, who looks just as guilty and remorseful for not telling them all sooner, including Jamey, who also looks ashamed for what happened two weeks prior. Ozzi says that he and Jamey have come to apologize for not explaining further about the Craniumville situation that had been culminating for years now, but the others look like they've stopped caring. They have all been beaten down over and over; what else could possibly tear them to shreds? This is when Jamey shows them all a file folder containing every dirty secret about all of Craniumville’s arsenal of schools, not just Craniumville U. Gangle eagerly opens the contents (much to the unenthusiastic skepticism from Zooble), and the members of Team Circus find that Jamey wasn't lying. Craniumville Elementary School has a problem with understaffing and an overpopulation of students; Craniumville Middle School is rundown and unhygienic, proving fatal for immunocompromised students, as well as structural problems caused by supposed budget cuts that are actually the result of the staff members spending the school's money on luxury items instead of essential supplies that the students need; Craniumville Community College has a bullying and altercation problem that the staff refuses to do anything about since none of the teachers are licensed and are thus unqualified to even be having jobs as teachers in the first place; Craniumville Finishing School is one of the worst out there with its rampant misogyny and objectification and dehumanization of women; Craniumville High School also has an apathetic staff with a disability discrimination problem caused by underfunding of special needs accommodations; Craniumville Preparatory Academy’s strictness and use of outdated disciplinary methods have driven the most fragile students to suicide, causing an influx of wrongful death lawsuits that never went anywhere; Craniumville Engineering School is underfunded to the point where the classes don't have enough supplies to actually teach anyone anything, resulting in mass dropouts; and finally, Craniumville Preschool, which has a moldy building that's extremely unsafe for children 6 and under, neglectful and abusive staff, and non-OHSHA-compliant playground equipment that has resulted in injury lawsuits that have also remained unresolved and have been dismissed with prejudice multiple times over. And that's just from the main Craniumville Public School District; they haven't even gotten to the other school districts (both public and private) in Craniumville, including Cerebellum, Hypothalamus, Cerebrum, Medulla, Thalamus, Pons, Hippocampus, and Fornix. They all have similar problems as these aforementioned schools, with varying degrees of severity, so much so that when compared to all the other schools combined, Craniumville U is the most sophisticated and most clean of them all, but with all the worst aspects combined from every district.

Ozzi and Jamey had gathered all of this information while the former was in recovery from his broken wing, and also found out on their own that the Edulympics was a means to prevent the citizens of Craniumville from leaving because of their bad schools, not just for the prestige and fame of seeing who's the best of the best. This ends up being news for Team Circus, as this was never-before-heard-of in the time they spent; all they knew was that this place was sketchy, but that was about it. They're thankful for the fact that it could have been so much worse, to which Ozzi interjects that it is actually so much worse than either of them could have ever comprehended. Jamey finally beams with excitement for the first time in months over Ozzi finally showing off his powers to Team Circus, something they had all completely forgotten about… except for Gangle, who had been waiting for the perfect opportunity to tell them that she had been working with both Ozzi and Jamey to crack down the mystery of Craniumville U's suckiness, hence her unusually chipper attitude, in spite of her lack of comedy mask. The confusion in the atmosphere turns into intrigue as they all get up from their seats and head over to Ozzi, who attempts to prepare them for what's about to happen. Before anyone can ask what to prepare themselves for exactly, a flash of teal light illuminates them all and they vanish in an instant.

The scene cuts to Team Circus, Ozzi and Jamey having been teleported to an old-timey environment with sepia coloring; the eight members are adjusting to the teleportation side effects, with Pomni holding Caine tightly, both of whom are trembling. Ozzi presents his findings as such:

Craniumville was founded in 1964, not as a bustling village, but as an educational cul-de-sac that acted more like a cult than an actual suburban town. It was designed as a dustbin facility for troublesome kids and teens who have been deemed “lost causes” by society. These students were tossed aside to be “corrected” and “rehabilitated” of their flaws, using a harsh curriculum that was supposed to make them tougher and more capable of doing “normal people” things. However, the people refused to accept that these flaws made them special in their own way, so these attempts to shape them into “functional people”, or what they believed to be the definition of “functional”, were always resounding failures, making them even worse off than they already were before coming to Craniumville. A teacher by the name of Miss Deed saw potential in the flaws of her students, so she attempted to turn Craniumville's schools into actual educational facilities where they could learn the same things the regular folks would, and even integrated them with the other dustbin students. Soon, as more dustbin kids immigrated to the town, more school districts were created, and eventually, with the success of the dustbin kids proving their worth in life, Craniumville became the hotspot place where anyone was welcome to get a good education. The efforts had indeed paid off, with the dustbin kids being much happier and more fulfilled in life, proving to the world that they are just as capable of living amongst them as anyone else. Unfortunately in 1982, when the father of Professor Barnwell, Council Snowfeather, a conservative university professor with a terrible perfectionism problem and a god complex, saw the dustbin kids hanging out with the regular kids, he grew disgusted, demanding to Miss Deed that they be separated immediately. Miss Deed valiantly fought back those remarks, along with a few others on her side, but an entourage of other school teachers holding the same beliefs as Snowfeather outnumbered the vocal minority who didn't want all of their progress to just be erased. As a peaceful compromise, Miss Deed and Professor Snowfeather invented the Edulympics to prove to the others that the dustbin kids were just as worthy of being integrated into society as the rest of the world. It would serve as a test of character for everyone involved. When Miss Deed did eventually win, Professor Snowfeather, butthurt over being proven wrong, demanded a rematch, of which he lost yet again in 1990, after 8 years of procrastination on the next tournament. Snowfeather founded The Craniumville Academical School For The Fairly Gifted But Still Not Good Enough Children, shortened to Craniumville U, in order to train his future students for the next rematch, not to educate them. This legacy would be carried out by his daughter, Professor Barnwell, who was raised her whole life to train her students for the next rematch. The rematches would be held in 1998, 2006, 2014, and 2022. Somehow, the Edulympics lost its original meaning as many other school districts in Craniumville decided to join, thinking it's just a fun game event, not realizing why exactly the Edulympics was forged in the first place. The feud never ended, and despite Craniumville now having the popularity it got from Miss Deed’s… deeds, the place tail-spinned back to square one from its first years in the 60’s, but with the dustbin students and regular students no longer separated. Miss Deed had accomplished her goal of integrating them into society, but at the cost of their safety, and she died in 2008 in guilt and obscurity. Not all of the Craniumville U teachers were on board with the whole Edulympics schtick, but were essentially given no choice to comply, lest they suffer terrible consequences for their insolence. The others reveled in the fame and glory of the potential winnings, despite Craniumville U never having won a single Edulympics tournament. In the end, it all stemmed from a convoluted scheme to play dirty and screw over a bunch of innocent individuals, just for being different.

This is a lot of information to process, and all of it is played out to them in flashback sequences, just like in the original Adam Ruins Everything television show. All of them are horrified that they're actively participating in a horrible attempt to get back at someone for being right. However, Ozzi goes on to say that they don't actually have to snag the trophy for Craniumville U; they're going to reveal to the public about the Edulympics’ true colors, just as the Edulympics themselves are about to happen, and this will put an end to it once and for all, to which Gangle is going to help do for everyone. It's good timing too, because just as they all teleport back to the school, Katie Leone pops up from behind one of the pillars in the shadows, to arrogantly gloat that they may have figured out the whole shebang, but they're still going to defeat them. The ribbony lady retorts to Katie that it soon won't matter in the end because they're not planning on snagging the win anymore; they're going to reveal the truth to the rest of Craniumville. All while using her “assertive voice” for the first time ever, Gangle makes a speech about how fully aware she is about Craniumville U being horrible and what this place was supposed to be in the first place, thanks to Ozzi and Jamey’s divine researching abilities and their whistleblowing tactics to take people like Katie Leone and Professor Barnwell down; she finishes by proudly saying that Barnwell has already lost before it has even begun. This is enough to shake Katie to the core, but she gracefully walks away, despite showing signs that she is now afraid, seemingly aware that she has been caught and backed into an inescapable corner and that it's only a matter of time before everything falls apart. Everyone is shocked and impressed with Gangle, with Jax declaring that he'll never pick on Gangle again as a result. Took the bastard long enough, didn't it?

They all vow to spend the rest of the spring season training themselves for their time to strike, by studying extra hard for the Edulympics, so they can pretend to participate in the games, while they prepare behind the scenes. One final montage of their efforts paying off ensues as we reach the tail end of the spring season and into the start of summer.

And finally, as summer rolls around, the Edulympics occur at last. It's a crowded event, as to be expected with most competitive events. Everyone is in one of the large stadiums of Craniumville U, with the school district teams lined up, starting with Craniumville, Cerebellum, Hypothalamus, Cerebrum, Medulla, Thalamus, Pons, Hippocampus, and lastly, Fornix. Team Circus is a part of Team Craniumville, and they are joined by their newfound allies Ozzi and Jamey, their archenemy Katie Leone, and a few anonymous randos they don't actually recognize, but they all seem to be happy to be here nonetheless, if only blissfully unaware. As Professor Barnwell announces the Edulympics' games and what they consist of (Art, Science, Math, History, Engineering, Home Ec, Music, and PE), Ozzi, Jamey, and Gangle head backstage to prepare themselves for what's to come, while everyone else plays along and looks the part. They're understandably nervous, but are willing to commit nonetheless. Eventually the horn sounds and the games have begun.

The first game is centered around World History & Geography, which is basically a geographical scavenger hunt, where everyone must compete to find the most cultural artifacts in order to unlock the first clue, and the next game category. In last place is Hypothalamus, resulting in their elimination. The next game is themed to Mathematics, in which they all must solve the world's most difficult-to-solve equation on the chalkboard. Once they do just that, they can retrieve the next clue and the third game category. Craniumville barely avoids elimination by taking their sweet old time, with Pons facing elimination instead. Team Circus is truly knocking these games out of the park, but they're not out of the woods quite yet, as there's a third game based around Science, in which they must race against the clock to find a chemical compound that'll help make the plants grow better. Craniumville manages to get third place as Medulla is officially out of the Edulympics. The last game for the first half is a trivia game based on the school subject of Art. For the first time, Craniumville manages to claim first place, and Cerebrum is officially eliminated from the games and can no longer compete.

They've already reached the halfway point and… for some reason there is a halftime show performed by one of the remaining school districts, Fornix. This is convenient enough for Team Circus to meet up with Ozzi, Jamey, and Gangle, who have planned out the entire engineered public confession for when and if Professor Barnwell catches on to what the three have been up to. Speaking of Barnwell, she sneaks up from the shadows for the upteenth time to announce she saw everything within the distance. She monologues about her secret plan that Katie Leone and Mr. Emcee how she won't let her father's legacy be in vain, that once Craniumville scores its first win ever, she'll happily separate the dustbins from her perfect little army and expel Team Circus and Ozzi and Jamey. Ozzi says the famously cliche line “You won't get away with this!”, and Professor Barnwell proudly declares “I think I just did!”, to which Ozzi repeats, “No seriously, you won't get away with this. Look.” Gangle draws back the curtain to reveal a shocked and horrified audience, the Fornix school district performers proudly showcasing the screen, which has security footage of not just what happened when Ms. Ahn betrayed Team Circus, but also the winter break party incident, and a slew of other security footage of Professor Barnwell abusing and bullying her own students into submission, alongside Mr. Emcee’s not-so-great encounters with Katie Leone (if you know, you know; sorry, everyone). Stubborn as ever, Professor Barnwell arrogantly confesses to everything that was shown, believing that she's in the right for doing all of this, and expects a big round of applause from the audience. Instead, she gets booed and jeered at, because let's be honest, no sane person would ever think this is acceptable.

With this, the Craniumville school district is disqualified, Barnwell is pelted with food and garbage, Emcee and Katie attempt to flee, but are immediately apprehended and separated, and Barnwell flies away into the distance, to who-knows-where, swearing that she'll be back and have her vengeance. We never hear from her again in this particular AU, but this line of dialogue does leave room for a potential return, but we'll save that story for another time. Ozzi apologizes to Team Circus that they couldn't win the Edulympics, to which Pomni looks back on her notification from a few months ago and discovers it never actually said anything about winning the games, but that they needed to graduate with honors by competing in them. However, upon seeing how much of a sham the Edulympics actually are, she heads up to the podium with the microphone and with the help from a few inspiring words from Jamey and Ozzi, disestablishes the games permanently, freeing Craniumville U from the tyranny once and for all.

It is officially one week later, and everyone, including Team Circus, Ozzi and Jamey are all doing much better than they were previously. During the typical lunch period, the individual members of Team Circus share their grades for their respective tests from their previous class, and surprise, surprise, Caine manages to get the highest score out of everyone at the table, — a 99%. He's not happy about it, though; he's pent up over that one question he got wrong. Zooble is in much better spirits thanks to Katie Leone being expelled and blacklisted from every Craniumville school district and Mr. Emcee being in prison, alongside Professor Alto. Professor Giz quit after finally being freed from his obligations and is doing well enough as a YouTuber, and Dr. Plantair and Professor Tate are forced to resign and hand over their teacher certificates for good. The only teachers decent enough to stay were Professor Globalle, who got an apology raise in his paycheck and Mr. Spotlight, who is set to direct a play next year. They're all proud of each other for managing to make history and change the lives of everyone for the better, and they can't wait to graduate with honors with a noggin full of knowledge and a lot of laughs and support from their new friends.

We smash cut to their actual graduation day, and they all have a look of shock and disappointment on their faces, as Caine cries out “WE LEARNED FUCK ALL!!!!” and Ozzi replies “Indeed you did”. Yup. It did not matter in the end. They managed to graduate with honors, and the only knowledge they managed to retain was the mitochondria being the powerhouse of the cell. How sad.

We then cut to the graduation party, and we see Gangle and Zooble having a blast with their new buddies Ozzi and Jamey. Pomni, Caine, Bubble, and Kinger are also lounging about, while Jax and Ragatha are playing some party games with the other random students. Professor Globalle, with an envelope in his hand, heads over to apologize to Team Circus for his cowardice from several months prior, and Gangle happily receives it, considering it a diplomatic token of reconciliation, and is kinda just glad this is gonna be over soon. As soon as Gangle opens the envelope, she finds a pleasant little surprise in there, causing all of Team Circus's communicator bracelets to go off with this pop-up notification:

~JEWEL OBTAINED!~

3 out of 26

Only 23 remain

The jewel is a scintillating teal-colored Turquoise that matches the teal-colored plaid portions of their school uniforms.

Also inside the envelope is an acceptance letter for Gangle to attend Craniumville U for next year. She happily accepts the offer, but ponders sadly as with the retrieval of their third jewel, that means they can't stay any longer, and have to go somewhere else now. The members of Team Circus then share a heartfelt and tearful goodbye to Ozzi and Jamey, with Zooble crying the most tears; funnily enough, Pomni thought Gangle was gonna be worked up the most about it. As they leave the party and head back to the Magical Digital Van and wave goodbye to their new friends one last time, they all decide to find a motel for them to stay in before heading back on the road — they all decide to give themselves a week or two as 10 months was enough to conk them out.

After two weeks of adjusting, they all decide they're ready to head off to their next location. The members of Team Circus are happily recharged, refreshed, and ready to face their next adventure, with bad guys to fend off and new friends to make. Caine is the only one still skeptical, but has his worries reassured by the jovial clamoring of his fellow human friends and Bubble's words of comfort. They head off into the cloudy morning, with the sun glowing from behind them.

Meanwhile, Professor Barnwell, now disgraced, lands in front of the entrance to a mansion on the mountains. She heads over to the door and knocks on it, resulting in someone opening it from the inside. Barnwell bitterly says “I'm back, Father…”

The screen goes black as she finishes her sentence, “And I need your help…” The episode ends with an ominous eyecatch of Barnwell and her dad, Snowfeather, working together to create a language learning app that will take over the world, with a select few humans chosen for the cause. Its name is Duolingo. But once again, this is a story for another time.

~~~~

Current Status:

3 Jewels have been collected

23 remain

🎓🎒🏫🧑‍🏫🦉🧮👓📏📚

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• OG Cast

Lizzie Freeman as Pomni

Amanda Hufford as Ragatha

Michael Kovach as Jax

Sean Chiplock as Kinger

Marissa Lenti as Gangle