#💌.email

[14dayswithyou]

*Sends a picture of an engagement ring to Ren*

About to propose, wish me luck! :D

Ren, already on his way to run over your fiancé-to-be: Good luck, they'll need it! ^^

[kairoot]

EMAILS I CAN’T SEND. 💌 JAKE SIM. (TEMPORARY HIATUS !)

PAIRING ▸ non!idol!jake x fem!reader

GENRE ▸ exes to lovers, college au, fluff, angst, social media au + irl

SYNOPSIS ▸ you and jake broke up about a year ago and he made it his mission to forget everything about you. you’ve always wanted to send him a text or even a voicemail about how much you missed him but you always held back. that was until you two met again.

WARNINGS ▸ cursing (tiny bit..), suggestive jokes, mentions of alcohol, heeseung gets high sometimes, more will be added as the story goes on. [please know that i do not condone any of these things for they are for FICTIONAL PURPOSES ONLY!]

MILAN’S NOTE ▸ hii! this is my 800 follower special!! and also i wanted to make a new smau.. but here you go! thank you guys so much for 800, i appreciate all the love and feedback i’ve received. 🥹💕

💌 TAGLIST IS OPEN !

PROFILES 💌

sabrina carpenter die-hards | drunk-delulu

📥 INBOX ↓

01.) DSMD (depressed single man disorder)

02.) fym ‘yuh-uh’ ?

03.) king bee (the parties and boobies in question) [2.7k]

04.) bros before woes

05.) last time i saw you [1.5k]

…more to be added

TAGLIST: @jwsdoll @kgneptun @thesunoosshining @lostwonderwall @ariadores @haechansbbg @mrchweeee @instant-joy @jiseokzzz @n-eetune @wntersm @wonyofile @jebetwo @sussycheetos @ilovecats923 @hyuckscore @laylasmother @jakehooni @fertiliezedtoesw @ghostiiess @zyvlxqht @adr1an4 @sasfransisco @reallyspaghetti @143ikeu @enhaslxt @judeduartewannabe @ilovejungwonandhaechan @belovedsthings @mnxnii @dreamiestay @hooneverse @iizb107 @potaetosugakookie (message, comment, or send a ask to be added)

[sjonni33]

lowkey so excited to see the wizard from the poll

sjdjdjdndndn there's a little concept sketch up on my ko-fi if you're interested heheheh!!!!! 👀👀

[winterchimez]

Tornado Warnings | Eric Sohn

SUMMARY: you have sworn that you would never get involved with the campus fuckboy, Eric Sohn. however, you have decided one day that enough was enough, and you would sacrifice yourself and ignore all of the tornado warnings that were clearly tearing you apart.

PAIRING: fuckboy!Eric x f!reader

GENRE: angst, suggestive, slight fluff

WARNINGS: nc-17, frat parties 😃, alcohol consumption, the sexual tension here is strong yall oops, fuckboy Eric...need i say more than that 😁, he is flirty af, he is umm shirtless at one scene 😀, cheating & playing with one's feelings (don't do that irl folks), petnames (babe, princess), name-calling (again, its horrible don't do that), reader walks in on Eric making out with someone at one point 👀, kissing, making out, teasing, arguments, slight manipulation, reader ignores her own feelings/well-being for months but eventually faces them

WORD COUNT: 3,604

A/N: back with another release for the emails i can't send fwd: series with @sanaxo-o, and this is written for @mosviqu ✨ happiest birthday bar, i tried my best and i really hope you liked this!! 💓 thankiew my dearest 妹妹 @sungbeam for giving me ideas & helping me beta (along with @drunkdrazed emma & sana) i love yall always 🥹💗 also tagging other eric mooties for this 👀 @itsbeeble @kimsohn

This will be the last time I’ll ever do this again.

You have been repeating that to yourself over the past several months, constantly reminding yourself that you will never get into a messed-up relationship again. At least, that’s what you thought about before you were brought back to reality, where you’re standing on the front porch of a party location for the night.

Why exactly was that? Frankly, you had no idea yourself.

But there was only one way to find out: to enter the frat party that catered to the seniors for the night. You pretty much knew most of the people here since they were students who belonged to your batch.

Instead of carrying out your usual routine, go to find your deskmate in psych, who was the one who often dragged you out from your bubble to parties like this, and have a couple of drinks before passing out on one of the couches towards the end of the room; you decided to do the complete opposite tonight.

You walked straight towards the outdoor pool area, where most students were holding their glasses of cocktails and dancing around the pool. Some were enjoying their time playing in the waters. You had one goal in mind: to walk straight towards the other end and to find him.

Sure enough, he was there lying on one of the sunloungers with his favourite whiskey in hand while a few girls were hovering around him, touching his bare chest. You couldn’t care less about that since you already knew this was his norm.

But now it was your time with him, and you boldly made your way towards him, standing right before him before he ushered the other girls away. He allowed you to crawl up to him before settling down on his lap, and he rested his free hand on your waist.

“Hey babe, I have been waiting for you since forever,” he grinned before leaning towards you while resting his fingers on your chin.

Instead of giving him a reply, you stared deeply into his eyes before wrapping your arms around his neck, making the male rest his thumb on your lips to part them. “Look at you, already missing my touch so bad. We’ve only just bumped into each other this morning on campus.”

Once again, not a single word left your mouth, but eventually, you decided to lean in to close the gap between you both before sealing your lips with his. The kiss was messy, and you were slowly savouring the leftover alcohol that was on his lips, slowly getting drunk by the way his lips moved against yours as if he knew exactly which spot to get to.

You have lost count of how many times you have made out, and Eric Sohn knew you from A to Z, especially when it comes to playing around with your feelings and emotions.

He was the campus fuckboy, after all.

Flashback

“Y/N! You won’t believe what just happened.” Your roommate Naomi came rushing through your front door, not even bothering to close it before she frantically entered your bedroom.

“Woah, what’s up? And why exactly is your face flushed red?” You asked.

“What else would it be? Obviously, it’s about the guy we all hate to the depths of the earth’s core!” She yelled, placing both hands on either side of her hips before she began rhythmically tapping her feet.

As soon as you heard the word “guy,” you knew exactly who she was referring to—someone you had sworn to never get caught up with again.

Eric Sohn.

“Let me guess, he had a one-night stand with one of our acquaintances,” you announced with crossed arms.

“Not just an acquaintance, Y/N. It’s Stella-”

Upon hearing that name, you immediately stood up from your chair, dropped some of your lecture notes, and made a mess on your tidied-up bedroom floor. Anger began rising rapidly within you, and you had to try your best to contain yourself and not make a scene before your neighbour started complaining about your specific unit for the nth time this month.

“Not Stella,” you fumed.

“Oh yes he did, Y/N. And things are not looking good right now.”

“Please God, tell me she’s alright,” you pleaded with Naomi, shaking her shoulders. But it seemed your roommate wouldn’t spill the tea that easily.

“It’s best if you check it out yourself,” your roommate silently mumbled before you dashed out the door and grabbed your coat frantically to go see whatever mess he had done this time.

And you hoped that it wasn’t as bad as the previous one.

You were now supporting Stella upright as she tried to position herself directly in front of the sink and calm herself down after having too many drinks than her usual intake. You absolutely hated how your friend—well, former friend—got Stella as messed up as he did to the other girls.

You and Eric went all the way back to kindergarten, where you had always known that there was this little boy who would often cry every single day all because he knew that he wasn’t going to see his parents for a couple of hours, and would try all sorts of methods to convince that he wasn’t fit to enter the school’s compound.

Naturally, everyone knew and labelled him as the “crybaby” and just didn’t really know how to interact with him much.

In the beginning, you reacted the same way with the other kids, thinking that he would eventually grow out of it and decide to mind your own business. However, it came a day when the kids were paired up for a little mini-activity, and that was when you got the infamous boy himself.

Contradicting what the others said about him, he was a jovial and happy-go-lucky kid. In fact, he was the one who helped bring you out of your bubble and made it easier for you to go around meeting new friends. He would often link his arms with you as you walked down the school halls daily, which made the other kids label you two as a couple.

Frankly, you didn’t mind all that because you enjoyed his company. In reality, you often looked forward to being paired up with him again for another activity or sport. After that experience, he would often make his way towards your desk, eat his bento boxes with you during meals, and show off the pretty animal-themed meals his mother had made especially for him.

You often giggled at how he would talk about himself all the time, and it was just mesmerising to see the joy and look on his face whenever he spoke of himself. Adding on to that, he was definitely taught well at home with the way he would go all-out to make friends with others during school hours and help them out in any circumstances possible. He was no longer the “crybaby” that everyone once labelled him as.

Things were going well until one day, his family decided to leave for the States. To say that you were sad about your friend leaving would’ve been an understatement—you were devastated. Not only was he the very first friend you made in kindergarten, but you also felt as if he was your soulmate since he knew everything about you and had never once done nor said the wrong thing that made you upset.

During that time, Eric couldn’t say much either since you were both still young, so he had no choice but to leave with his family. On the very last day when he was in Seoul though, he made sure to give you the tightest hug and place multiple pecks all over your face, promising you that fate would reunite you both someday.

That day eventually came, but you never would have expected to reunite with him the way you did after all these years.

You were both 22, casually entering your second year of university before you encountered the man himself. You were shocked, to say the least, when he first stepped into the lecture hall—his hair was fully blonde, he had several tattoos all over his body, and every girl swooned over him.

He was now a hot mess.

The Eric Sohn you once knew was far gone because the one here was nowhere near the little boy you admired back in kindergarten. Word often spread quickly in college, so you frequently heard about his little date nights with multiple women and his so-called “flavor of the month.”

He was one of the wealthier students on campus, hosting house parties almost once every month. These parties attracted quite the crowd, causing a more ever-present distinction between them and students like you and your roommates—the goody-two-shoes who prioritised studies more than drinking and making out with different people in one night.

That was until he got involved in your affairs.

It all started with him dating one of the girls within your circle, and it ended horribly, to the point that the student herself decided to cut all ties with everyone and isolate herself either in the library or in the comforts of her apartment all the time.

It took you a while to figure out what happened before you could get the girl to talk it out. He was toying with her throughout the relationship, and there were no fixed boundaries or respect while they were together. He seemed unable to settle down with just one girl, and cheating was prominent throughout the entire relationship.

Unfortunately, he didn’t stop there. Multiple exes followed after that, and you’ve seen the heartbreaks he had caused throughout campus. You couldn’t believe it, or rather, you didn’t want to think this was the same soulmate you once had way back in your childhood.

It just didn’t add up.

That was until it happened to Stella.

You couldn’t believe your ears when you found out that your best friend had decided to date with your former friend. As much as you wanted to pull her out of the mess, she knew what she was getting into; who were you to judge or have a say in someone’s decision and relationship?

However, now that you’d witnessed your friend’s downfall in person, you could no longer sit back and watch your former friend continue on his sick, twisted games. So you stomped right out of the bar and walked all the way to Eric’s apartment. Thanks to Stella, you also knew his pin number to unlock the front door, and you wasted no time and quickly barged into the compound.

Sure enough, you found him making out with another girl on his couch, and both of them were definitely surprised to see a random girl going into his apartment without prior notice. The girl under your former fried began grilling him some questions, but all Eric did was stare back at you, eyeing you from head to toe.

In the end, he kindly dismissed the girl for the night before closing the front door and walking straight towards you, now standing a few centimetres away from you.

“It’s been a while, Y/N. To what do I owe the pleasure? Have you been alright?”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Sohn. You know exactly why I’m here,” you spat, trying to contain the anger and fumes that were slowly rising.

Instead, your reaction intrigued the man, and he returned the favour by smiling at you, one that you knew wasn’t going to end well.

“What does Stella got to do with you, hmm? Unless you’re jealous-”

“Jealous? Don’t make me laugh; I’m here to put you right in your place, mister.” You stomped right towards him and shoved him against the wall, cornering him with both your hands beside his head. “I don’t know what the hell happened when you were in the States, but I surely did not anticipate such behaviour from you after all these years.”

Eric quietly stared at you for a few moments before he lifted his thumb and rested it on your lips, which made you twitch at the contact. “You know, Y/N. There’s this joy in seeing how so many people around you want you. It’s fun and quite thrilling if you ask me.” He was now smacking his lips, and you knew he would make advances if you didn’t stop him there.

Hence, you smacked his hands away before grabbing onto his collar. “Your time playing with innocent girls is up, Sohn. Leave them the hell alone,” you snarled.

“Hmm, what makes you think I’d listen to you?”

You were now put in a bind spot. There was no denying those words that Eric had just spat right into your face. You had no control over him, and hell, even if you were part of the student council, you couldn’t do anything since he wasn’t posing as a threat to the other students.

Another factor was that he was well-loved by the students, particularly female students on campus since he was the guy that everyone wished they could elope with after all. It must be a joke for the fuckboy to listen to your proposal, thinking that you’ll ever have hopes of changing the guy.

But something in you snapped, and you couldn’t care less about the methods you would try to pull off.

Even if that meant sacrificing yourself.

“If I were to date you and meet your needs, you leave the other girls alone.”

That came as a shock to Eric; never in a million years would he have thought you would suggest something like this. You have always been a goody-two-shoes from kindergarten until university. He was well aware of your group of friends: the library was where you would visit most frequently, and you would be back in the dormitories by ten at night.

It took him a while to respond properly, and you weren’t just going to stand there and wait all night, so you did the impossible and pulled him down towards you.

You locked your lips with his.

It all happened so fast, and the anger and frustration prevented you from rationalising your thoughts and making you do what you had done. If you would’ve told yourself that you would lose your first kiss to your former friend turned campus fuckboy, you would’ve immediately jumped off the nearest cliff off campus.

As soon as you pulled away, a smirk appeared on his face, and he quickly turned the tables so that you were now pinned against the wall, his hands travelling down to your waist before licking his lips once again.

“Whatever you say, princess.”

This whole situationship went on for months, and you were slowly losing your sanity each day. Eventually, you slowly began to give into his urges, playing along with his little games if that meant keeping your friends safe.

Nobody understood why you did it, especially your roommates and circle of friends. Naomi would constantly remind you about all of the horrible things that he did, and you would one hundred percent regret getting involved in his affairs. But if that meant keeping your friends safe and unharmed, you would do it ten times over.

Hence, there is a change in your daily routine: meet up with Eric every day after lectures and accompany him either to the local bars or the comforts of his apartment, and stay the night there whenever it gets too late for you to return to your own. You really didn’t mind it at all since you had a roof over your head and you were safe in his arms.

At least that was what you convinced yourself it would be.

His fuckboy demeanour didn’t stop there, and he would often be seen hanging out and flirting with the other girls. But there was a drastic difference this time: he knew exactly when to draw the line and chose not to advance further than that.

As much as your circle of friends would constantly remind you about all the terrible things Eric had done, you convinced yourself that if he doesn’t see them, then they probably didn’t exist after all.

But one question still remains: Are you really okay with everything unfolding in front of your eyes?

Was lying to yourself about your actual feelings worth it for the sake of your friends? And was going into this despite ignoring all the tornado warnings worth it in the long run?

End of flashback

“Hey babe, is everything alright?”

You were brought back to reality with Eric rubbing off a little teardrop that flowed down to your cheeks, not realising that you had been consumed with your thoughts so much that you actually cried in front of him.

You were at a loss for words and couldn’t pinpoint why that was either. All you did was gently touch the area he had just wiped off before you felt your eyes begin to water again.

This time, Eric genuinely seemed concerned and cupped your face gently with his hands for the very first time since you both started this entire messed-up situationship months ago.

“I don’t know…I don’t even know why I’m here tonight, Eric,” you began sobbing but tried to hide your tears by choking back them. Why am I like this? Why do I keep doing this with you, knowing my feelings are not validated or ignored? Why did it have to be you?”

You couldn’t care less if people around you began giving you the side-eye, seeing that a girl was sitting on top of Eric in the midst of the frat party sobbing uncontrollably. You have held it in for far too long, ignoring all the warnings your friends have constantly tried to ingrain in your mind.

You got yourself into this situation; you should’ve known that you were getting yourself into trouble when you proposed that idea to him. You should’ve known that you were going to get your heart broken-

Before you could continue with those thoughts, you felt a little peck on your forehead, only to open your eyes to see that Eric had left a little mark right there, closing his eyes to cherish that short moment before pulling away.

“Did that help?” He asked, once again rubbing your red puffy cheeks with his thumbs.

“Eric…why would you…” you sniffed.

“I realised something, Y/N. While I was with you for the past several months.”

“W-What exactly was that?”

“I’m well aware of the things people call me. I know all about the red flags people say about me; frankly, I’ve done some screwed-up shit and brought myself into this messy situation. I know you decided to date me for the sake of your friends, and it’s very brave of you to do that, despite knowing the hurt and harm that would prevail when getting together with me. But that’s not my point-”

He cuts himself off by positioning himself upright on the sunlounger he was lying on, now holding both sides of your shoulders before taking a deep breath to proceed with what he was about to say to you.

“Y/N. You’ve shown me how friends would stand up for each other in a situation like this and how all of these games that I’ve been playing for so long aren’t going to last forever. Emotions are something that shouldn’t be taken lightly, and you shedding actual tears in front of me proved more than enough for me to make my final judgement,” he huffed, knowing that it wasn’t easy for him to get those words off his chest.

Eric began mumbling a few words before he finally decided he was ready to say them out loud to you. “Y/N, will you teach me how to love?”

Your eyes widened upon those words coming out from him; it felt as if you were looking right at the same boy back in kindergarten, your soulmate and childhood best friend. The sudden wave of nostalgia came rushing over you, and you tried your best to hold those tears back as you needed to properly hear him say the words you wanted to hear for the longest time.

“What are you saying, Eric?”

“it is exactly that, Y/N. I’m…trying my best to muster up the courage to say that out loud to you right now. I know you’d probably laugh at my face,” he chuckled. “A guy like me asking the girl who he's been taking advantage of to teach him actual love? Yeah, I’m insane for all of that, I know-”

Before he could finish his sentence, you sealed his lips with a kiss, pushing him back down the lounger, savouring the taste of his lips. Eric returned the favour and deepened the kiss by wrapping his arms around you, his fingers running through your long, wavy hair while he was at it before pulling it apart for some air after a good minute.

“W-What was that for?” He stammered.

With that, you finally gave him a genuine smile for the first time since reuniting with him here on campus. “Welcome back, Eric Sohn.”

In the end, you both burst into laughter, enjoying that little moment together before resting your forehead against his. “So, I’m taking this as a yes? That you accept my proposal?”

You chuckled before ruffling his hair with your hands.

“Maybe if you take me out on a skateboard date the next time, I’ll consider it done, Mr. Tornado Warnings.”

emails i can't send fwd: series masterlist

main masterlist

taglist: @deoboyznet @kflixnet @k-films @flwoie @zzoguri @kyusqult @tinkerbell460 @cheonsafics @sulkygyu @jaerisdiction @vernyangel @fylithia @stealanity @lngwayup @daisyvisions @djidfk @mosviqu @itsbeeble @kimsohn (join my permanent taglist here!)

[sanaxo-o]

Bet U Wanna (Lee Juyeon)

Inspired by Bet U Wanna by Sabrina Carpenter 👍

Warnings: ex 2 lovers, Juyeon is a bit toxic in the starting but he realises that later 👍, kissing, mention of alcohol, a bit of angst, fluff, happy ending hehe

Word count: 2765

|| I'd recommend listening to Bet u wanna by Sabrina Carpenter when reading 👹. It will get you in the feels lol ||

|| A special thanks to @winterchimez for helping me while I wrote this 😭. If not for Ally I would have quite literally just left it as it was because of the fact that I am not at all confident in writing these things lol. Also thanks to @o-onikix for reassuring me all the time telling me that my writing is good when I needed to hear it the most 🤧. If not for Nara I would I have left Tumblr the moment I started losing hope in myself. Love you guys a tons 💗||

🎵Told me, told me I'm your only🎵

Staring off into space, you remember when you and Juyeon sat on this very couch as he told you about his day. You reminisce back then how he said that you were the only one for him—how this whole relationship felt right, and how he was convinced that it just felt so right for him. Being absolutely head over heels for him, you obviously believed everything he said without questioning it.

Only now did you realise that all he said was just a lie. The way all of the events before this were unfolding now, this relationship did not matter to him as much as it did to you. He really must have thought that the relationship you both had was such a waste of time.

"Y/N?? Are you there?? Hello?" You flinched hard when someone pinched you on your arm. Slapping the arm away harshly, you rubbed the part where it hurt.

"What?" You asked rather harshly your friend, Olivia.

"Still thinking about him?" She asked with concern. She took your hands in hers, and rubbed them comfortingly. "Come on. Cheer up. Juyeon does not deserve your attention. You know it." She trailed off.

You looked at the corner of the classroom where Juyeon was. He was alone, and none of his friends were there. You couldn’t help but feel bad for him as you knew how much he hated being alone—he had always dreaded emptiness.

Turning your attention back to Olivia, you decided to speak up.

"But...look at him. Even he looks miserable..." You were now staring at his lone figure. He still looked like he was alright when you were probably going through the worst times of your life. And you hated that. You hated everything that involved him, yet you longed for him. How his touch always lingered on your skin, and how you missed him. Yet, you couldn’t help but also loath him with all your heart, especially with how badly he has treated you since the beginning of your relationship.

"Y/N. He has never thought twice before letting you down. You have to agree with me. He was an asshole while you were dating him. Yes, he's a great friend, but as a boyfriend, he is not. He literally misused you just to hang out and be around his useless friends. It wasn’t just a one-time thing, it was way more than that."

Honestly, you couldn’t blame Olivia for her ramblings because whatever she said was valid and backed up by all of the unhappy memories you’ve had with the man himself and how there’s no actual need for Juyeon to be in your life ever.

However, you just know that he’s the one you need the most in all aspects of your daily life.

—x—

Flashback

It was freezing cold right now as you stood outside the restaurant doors. The cool night breeze makes you shiver occasionally while waiting for Juyeon to arrive.

He was supposed to be here by 8:00 p.m., but it was 10 right now. He was two hours late. You decided to think nothing much of it and waited a little longer. Could there be an emergency? Or he got stuck with some urgent work.

You sighed as you removed your phone from your handbag and redialed Juyeon's number.

*Ring ring-*

"Hello?" A soft voice spoke out, but it was not Juyeon. It was one of his friends.

"Hi, um...could you pass the phone to Juyeon? It's an emergency..." you said in a soft voice. Walking around, you spotted a bench nearby and sat there while waiting for Juyeon to speak.

"Hello.." you heard Juyeon's muffled voice.

"Juyeon...where are you? We were supposed to meet at the restaurant at 8. It’s literally 10 right now..." you say with a gentle voice, but it is clear that you are frustrated

"Shit! Was it today? I am so sorry, Y/N I came over to my friend's house, and I don't think I can make it there in time anymore. Could we possibly reschedule our date?"

You scoffed hearing his words. "Reschedule? Juyeon... you have clearly forgotten about it. How many more times are you going to do this? I am tired of it." You did not even wait for his reply and hung up the phone.

—x—

End of flashback

As much as you were constantly reminded by all of the uneventful situations that Juyeon has always put you in, you knew that the memories and chemistry you had with him were different, something you had never experienced with anyone else before. Frankly, you were pretty satisfied with everything you’ve had with him. If only you could go back in time, you would have ensured that he would have stayed with you, in your arms.

It hurts to see him so close to you yet out of your reach. Gosh, only if your ego was not that huge, you would have just gone towards him and kissed him. His lips always made you go feral, no matter how often you kissed him. How it always comforted you when in need, and how soft his lips were all the time.

Snapping out of your thoughts, you paid attention to Olivia again. She was talking about some upcoming party happening this coming Sunday.

"I don’t think I’ll be able to make it. I am busy." You voice out your thoughts. You saw how Olivia stopped what she was doing to look at you with her eyebrow raised.

"Busy with what exactly? Are you reminiscing about your time with Juyeon? Come on, you can do better than that." She said as she nudged you on your shoulder with her pen.

"Not exactly. Hey, I am not that—" You could not even finish your sentence when you saw the look Olivia had on her face. She knew damn well that you would binge-watch your comfort shows with a tub full of ice cream and cry while thinking about Juyeon. She did not want that. She wanted you to enjoy your life again, just like how you used to. She wanted you to stop thinking about Juyeon for once, pay more attention to your personal life, and socialise more.

"Oh, come on. I’ll let you in on a little secret. Show up to the part all dressed up, hell even put on the most glamorous outfit you own, and make Juyeon jealous. If he sees you in that infamous red dress of yours, I bet he’ll most likely drop whatever he’s doing and make his way towards you and kiss you senselessly. I am convinced that he’d give up the whole world just to be able to touch you again.”

You sighed as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You did not even know why you tried so hard to get Juyeon's attention. He did not even care about you.

His world was way too different from yours. He was on the other side, far away from your reach. His kind of people surrounded him, ones who were way out of your league.

"Y/N!! Are you done!?" You heard Olivia's voice shouting for you. Taking your things, you exited your room to see her on her phone.

Upon hearing your footsteps, she looked up only to have her jaw drop as she looked at you from head to toe.

"Are you really the same person who was planning on crying today? Because...how?" Her voice sounded so genuine that you were confident enough to make Juyeon jealous just by seeing you. But at the back of your head, you asked yourself again once more.

Why are you even doing this? Are you just getting your hopes to high? What if Juyeon really does not care about you? What if he had already moved on? Unlike you, who was still stuck in the past.

"Stop daydreaming, and let's go. You're gonna have so much fun! And I cannot wait to see Juyeon's face when he sees you!" You rolled your eyes when she said that.

Entering the place where the party was held, you hated yourself as your only thought was to look for Juyeon amidst the crowd.

It didn’t take long for you to land your eyes on the person you were on so desperately looking for but what you saw made you freeze on your spot. You saw Juyeon kissing a random girl. She was pretty, and for some reason, you felt so disappointed. It's not like you both were in a relationship. You had no control over who he was with—who he was touching and kissing. Even he had no control over who you kissed or slept with. So why?

You freed yourself from Olivia's grip and immediately went towards the kitchen where all the alcohol was kept.

Picking up what you guessed was the strongest of them all, you poured yourself a glass. Looking around the room while taking slow sips of the drink, you took the whole sight in.

The room was packed, even suffocating. But that was none of your concern right now. You just wanted to kiss someone, get your mind off of Juyeon for once in the last few weeks and not think about his pretty face, which would always make your day better.

How his small gestures would always comfort you no matter what—how your heart and stomach would literally do somersaults whenever he was close to you, and even to feel a spark between you two.

Maybe it was just you who felt it.

You then noticed a figure approaching you from the corner of your eye.

"What are you doing here all alone? Where is your friend?" Sunwoo asked when he came in front of you.

You were familiar with him. He was acquainted with a couple of your friends. You never really got to talk with him one-on-one like this. Perhaps coming here tonight could make you socialise again.

"I just wanted some alone time, that's it. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be with your friends?" You asked.

"What? I could not hear you! The music is too loud!" Sunwoo shouted at the top of his lungs, trying to clarify his words.

"Shouldn't you be with your friends right now!" You shouted back. Sunwoo reluctantly leaned down to hear you more clearly.

His face was so close to yours. His perfect plump lips were coming so close to yours, and how they were parted apart from each other. Your eyes travelled across his entire face, taking in his perfect nose. His big eyes were now staring into yours.

Both of you were leaning forward slowly, noses touching each other, and both of your breaths fanning against each other. You saw Juyeon staring in your direction from the corner of your eyes.

Wasting no time, you attached your lips to Sunwoo's. The kiss was slow, sensual at the very least. It was completely different from when you used to kiss Juyeon. However, you felt nothing when you kissed Sunwoo. There were no feelings. It was just two people kissing each other, and there was no spark. You did not feel yourself getting giddy like you would always do when with Juyeon.

—x—

Juyeon’s POV

I was sitting on the couch with a drink in my hand. All of my friends were gone somewhere, probably getting high or something. As I looked around, my eyes fell on a figure not so far from me.

Squinting my eyes, I came to realise that it was Y/N.

My eyes travelled all over her body. She was wearing a red dress—how it hugged her body perfectly was driving me insane, and how her hair was perfectly falling over her shoulders. Her pretty smile made her stand out from the crowd. All I ever want is to go over to her, grab her, and kiss her senselessly.

I was dying to touch her, hold her again in my arms. Without her beside me, it felt so cold and empty. I hated and regretted the way I left her in the past. I noticed how her eyes were not shining like before. They were not as bright as before—they looked dull, or rather, she looked dull. It was as if she had no life left in her anymore. It hurts to see her like this—knowing I might be the reason behind this hurts. I just wanted to go over to her and keep her in my arms where it would be warm.

When I returned to my senses, I saw that Y/N was no longer alone. She was talking with a guy. Oh, how I wish I were there instead of him. How I wish she were talking with me instead of him.

Seeing him so close to her—talking, laughing, and even touching her. My hand tightened around the drink in my hand when I saw them so close face to face. Their lips were almost touching.

I saw how Y/N crashed her lips on his—kissing him like she used to kiss me. Seeing her do that to someone else made me feel some things I shouldn’t. It's like...I did not want anyone close to her but me, but then again, I was also the reason our relationship broke off.

I immediately stood up when I saw that guy grabbing her hand. Taking big steps towards them, I pushed the guy away and dragged Y/N with me outside.

It was quiet between us. None of us spoke a word until I finally mustered up the courage to speak up.

"Who was that?"

"Just a friend." She replied softly. God, how much I missed that soft voice of hers. I stared at her with so many emotions in my eyes. I wanted to let her know that life without her beside was pointless— I wanted to tell her about how much I missed staring into those eyes while we both talked about our day and laughed at silly things.

"You don't kiss a friend." I replied, trying not to show how affected I was.

"Well, you're not the one to say that." I scoffed at her words.

"I told you! That kiss between that girl I had meant nothing."

"Juyeon, that's not the reason why I broke up with you! Why can’t you understand that!"

She then proceeds to take a step towards me. "You never thought about me when you let me down! You always expected me to act fine the next day when, in fact, I was not! I hated how you always left me like that! And then, you won't even tell me why you did all of that."

She screamed in my face. I noticed how she was starting to breathe heavily. I hugged her, hoping that would calm her down.

"You don't know how much I hate the way I left you. I hate the way I said my goodbye to you. Y/N. Every day, all I can think about is you. Your laugh and the way your eyes always shine when you see me. You don't know how much I missed you the past few weeks. I missed holding you close to me in the comforts of my apartment. I am sorry I made you feel like I did not think about you. I love you so much. I am always reminiscing about our time together. All I wish is to be a better boyfriend and a better version of myself. Can't you just...give me one last chance? I promise I won't let you down." I pulled away from our hug and stared into her eyes. I saw the way her eyes were glistening with tears. I kissed her just below her eyes and tenderly wiped away her small drop of tear.

"One last chance. Don't fuck it up, Lee Juyeon..." I gave out a big smile and smashed my lips on her. I moved my lips along with hers and how our lips perfectly moulded together, kissing in sync. Gasping for air, we both pulled away. I brushed my hand on her hair.

"I bet you missed this." She joked with a smile on her face.

"Oh baby, you don't know how much I missed this." I kissed her again. Entangling my fingers with hers in one hand, the other grabbed her chin and deepened our kiss.

🎵Bet you wanna love me now🎵

I hope it was good enough 🤧. I am still in the phase of exploring new genres and trying to expand my writing skills which don’t revolve around yandere at all.

Tagging: @deoboyznet

[kithtaehyung]

I need advice, not writing or 3tan related. I’m relatively sheltered and been trying to get out more lately. Today I was in the park with friends (we’re in our 20s) and this random guy was talking to us. Super nice and new to the country. Asked us questions like where he could go to school and such but then asked for our numbers and names. I gave mine but I had a bad feeling. Was this dangerous or like fine? Idk how to feel about it because I’ve so much anxiety about things and I worry I gave out personal information. You’re probably not even the person I should ask but I’m a little embarrassed to ask my friends cause I don’t know if they gave theirs and if they didn’t will they think I’m foolish? ahhh I’m sorry this is so weird

always listen to your gut, babe. if you ever ever have a weird or bad feeling, that’s your body’s response/like a survival instinct type of thing.

honestly if you already gave the number and still have this bad feeling, don’t engage if you get random messages. block them. if someone gets your phone number, then they can get access to a lot of your information, so be very very careful providing it to strangers from now on.

idc if they’re super sweet or charming, if your gut is telling you something is off, politely say you only give numbers out to friends or give them a fake number.

[sombrefee]

HIII LYLAAA GUESS WHO?? 😋💕💕

well this isnt very anon of you daphnie but hello

[rosabie]

˚ ༘ ♡ ⋆｡🎅🏻🎁₊˚looking at you got me thinkin Christmas ⛄ ꒱

[newtlesbian]

its always mutual masturbation due to our unbreakable psychic link

[mysicklove]

https://www.tumblr.com/that-damn-girl/657063708366929920/all-about-shadowban?source=share

mellooo i read you can't respond to comments, i think this could be useful to you <3

link

I CANT REPSOND TO COMMENTS OR SEND IN ASKS FHSHSYDYDGDG

i’m SHADOWBANNED????? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

[kairoot]

EICS. 💌 (05.) last time i saw you

WARNINGS ▸ 1.5K words, mentions of being tired and pretty depressed, let me know if i missed anything (i do not condone any of these things and this is not made to represent any of the idols' personality or behavior. it is simply for fictional purposes.)

SYNOPSIS ▸ you and jake broke up about a year ago and he made it his mission to forget everything about you. you've always wanted to send him a text or even a voicemail about how much you missed him but you always held back. that was until you two met again.

—

Too many days had gone by since the party at Heeseung’s and Jake’s head was swirling. He wasn’t sure what was going on. He’d spent most of his time alone for the past two weeks, his phone turned off and his dorm door shut. For whatever reason, he couldn’t get the thought of Y/n out of his head, ever since he saw her.

Jake lied in bed, staring at the ceiling. There were clothes scattered over the floor and bed while his room reeked with the smell of day-old ramen. His papers for classes were unfinished and spread out on his desk with open emails about his absences from school. He blinked slowly as his brain came up with all of the most impossible scenarios of him and Y/n. Like them getting back together. It seemed utterly impossible to Jake.

There was a rhythmic knock on his door that knocked him out of his trance. He didn’t move, though, hoping whoever was there would move on and go about their day. But he was sadly mistaken.

The knock came again, only it was louder and more demanding. Jake huffed, swinging his legs over the bed to stand up. He trudged to the front door, swinging it open with a pout on his face.

“Wha—“

He cut his sentence short when he saw his mom smiling up at him and his dad with a slightly smaller grin. His eyes went wide as he tried processing the fact that they were actually there. He had mixed reactions; ecstatic and annoyed.

During Y/n and Jake's time together, Jake’s parents were not too fond of Y/n and they always made it known to the both of them. Whether Y/n was at their house and his parents gave her a certain look or mumbled something under their breath.

Jake's mouth opened and closed, struggling to find the right words. His mom's smile faltered slightly as she took in the state of his dorm. "Jake, honey, what's going on? We've been worried sick."

Jake ran a hand through his messy hair, stepping aside to let them in. "I'm fine, Mom. Just... a lot on my mind."

His dad glanced around the cluttered room, his expression a mix of concern and disapproval. "Doesn't look like you're fine, son. This place is a mess."

Jake sighed, closing the door behind them. "I've just been busy with classes and stuff. Didn't have time to clean up."

His mom walked over to the desk, picking up a crumpled paper. "These don't look like assignments, Jake. What's really going on?"

Jake hesitated, his eyes darting to the floor. He could feel the weight of his parents' gaze on him, and it made the knot in his stomach tighten. "It's... it's Y/n," he finally admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

His mom's face softened, but his dad's expression hardened. "That girl again? Jake, we told you—"

"Don't," Jake interrupted, his voice sharper than intended. "Just don't. I don't need a lecture right now."

His mom put a hand on his dad's arm, silencing him. She turned back to Jake, her eyes filled with concern. "What happened, sweetheart?"

Jake took a deep breath, the memories flooding back. "I saw her at Heeseung's party a couple of weeks ago. Ever since then, I can't stop thinking about her. I thought I was over her, but... I miss her. A lot."

His mom reached out, gently touching his arm. "It's okay to miss someone, Jake. But you can't let it consume you. You need to take care of yourself."

Jake nodded, but he couldn't shake the feeling of emptiness. "I know, but it's hard. Everything reminds me of her. And knowing how you guys felt about her back then... it doesn't help."

"But you never gave her a chance," Jake shot back. "You didn't see how happy she made me."

There was a tense silence before his mom spoke again. "Maybe we were too harsh. If she's on your mind this much, maybe you need to talk to her. See if there's still something there."

Jake looked at her, surprised. "You think so?"

She nodded, a small smile forming. "Sometimes, we need to follow our hearts, even if it means taking a risk."

Jake felt a glimmer of hope. Maybe his mom was right. Maybe he needed to reach out to Y/n, to see if there was still a chance for them. As his parents helped him tidy up his dorm, Jake's mind was already racing with possibilities. For the first time in weeks, he felt a sense of clarity.

That night, after his parents left, Jake sat at his desk, staring at his phone. His fingers hovered over Y/n's contact, his heart pounding.

Y/n sat at a table in the bustling cafeteria, focusing intently on her lunch to avoid her friends' probing looks. Yunjin, Harvey, and Jurin were discussing the latest gossip, but Y/n felt their eyes darting to her, silently urging her to join the conversation.

"Y/n, you've been quiet all day," Yunjin finally said, her voice laced with concern. "What's up?"

Y/n shrugged, forcing a nonchalant smile. "Just tired, that's all. Long night of studying."

Harvey narrowed her eyes, clearly not convinced. "Is this about Jake? We all saw the way you looked at each other at Heeseung's party."

Y/n's heart skipped a beat at the mention of his name, but she shook her head firmly. "I'm over Jake. Seeing him again just reminded me of why it didn't work out. I don't need him."

Jurin leaned forward, her expression empathetic. "But you miss him, don't you? It's okay to admit that."

Y/n sighed, feeling the weight of their concern. "Yeah, I miss him sometimes. But that doesn't mean we should be together. I need to focus on myself, on what makes me happy without relying on him."

Yunjin smiled softly. "That's a good mindset. But remember, it's okay to feel sad or nostalgic. Just don't let it control you."

Harvey nodded. "And we're here to help you through it. You don't have to do this alone."

Jurin chimed in, her voice gentle. "Yeah, we're your friends. We've got your back, no matter what."

Y/n felt a surge of gratitude for her friends' support. "Thanks, guys. It really helps knowing you're here for me."

As the bell rang, signaling the end of lunch, Y/n gathered her things, feeling a sense of resolve. She didn't need Jake to be happy. She had her friends, her goals, and her own strength. And that was enough.

Walking to their next class, Yunjin looped her arm through Y/n's. "Let's make a pact. No more moping over boys. We're focusing on ourselves and our future."

Harvey laughed. "Hear, hear! Here's to strong, independent women."

Jurin grinned. "And to friends who stick together through everything."

Y/n smiled, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. With her friends by her side, she knew she could face whatever challenges came her way. And as they walked down the hall, she felt a renewed sense of purpose and confidence. She didn't need Jake to complete her; she was already whole.

Sunghoon, Riki, and Heeseung sat in the campus café, their usual hangout spot between classes. The table was littered with half-empty coffee cups and textbooks, but the conversation was far from academic.

"Has anyone seen Jake lately?" Riki asked, stirring his iced coffee absently. "He hasn't shown up to any of our classes this week."

Heeseung shook his head, his brow furrowed in concern. "Nope. His dorm's been shut tight every time I checked. I tried calling him, but he’s not picking up."

Sunghoon sat silently, his jaw clenched and his eyes fixed on his phone. He had been uncharacteristically quiet and tense, his mood casting a shadow over their usual banter.

Heeseung exchanged a look with Riki, then leaned forward. "Sunghoon, what's up with you? You've been in a mood all day."

Sunghoon's grip tightened on his phone, but he didn't respond.

Riki frowned, frustration creeping into his voice. "Come on, man. We're all worried about Jake, but you're acting like something else is bothering you."

Sunghoon finally looked up, his eyes flashing with anger. "It’s nothing. Just focus on Jake."

Heeseung sighed, trying to keep his patience. "We know he saw Y/n at the party. It's probably why he's been off. But we can't help if you don't talk to us."

Sunghoon's jaw tightened, and he looked away. He was still fuming about how none of them had shown up to his big game last weekend, but he wasn't about to bring it up now. They had more pressing issues to deal with.

Riki tapped his fingers on the table, thinking. "Maybe we should call Jay. He was at the party too, and he might have some insight."

Heeseung nodded. "Good idea. I'll give him a call."

Heeseung stepped away to make the call while Sunghoon and Riki waited, the tension between them palpable. After a few minutes, Heeseung returned, shaking his head. "No answer. We’ll have to figure this out ourselves."

Riki sighed. "Alright, then. Let’s just go to Jake’s dorm. He can’t ignore us if we’re standing right in front of him."

Sunghoon's expression softened slightly, a hint of relief in his eyes. "Yeah, let’s go."

—

prev / masterlist / next

MILAN’S NOTE ▸ kinda hate this but I FINALLY UPDATED EICS I MISSED THIS SMAU SM I LOVD IT WITH ALL OF MY HEART

TAGLIST: @jwsdoll @kgneptun @thesunoosshining @lostwonderwall l @ariadores @haechansbbg @mrchweeee @instant-joy @jiseokzzz @n-eetune @wntersmina @wonyofile-deactivated20240614 @jebetwo @sussycheetos @ilovecats923 @hyuckscore @laylasmother @jakehooni @fertiliezedtoesw @ghostiiess @zyvlxqht @adr1an47 @sasfransisco @reallyspaghetti @143ikeu @enhaslxt @judeduartewannabe @ilovejungwonandhaechan @belovedsthings @mnxnii @hoonsbbokie (message, comment, or send a ask to be added)

[sjonni33]

CONGRATS SJONNIE! I love your art it’s so yummy and edible idk how to explain it. for art requests if it’s not much of a bother maybe 👀 um 👀 Edward nygma?

hehehe thank you so much nahla!!!!! 🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰🥺🥰 i hope he is up to your expectations!!!! sjdsjsj i was never able to finish gotham but!! i loved him in the eps i watched :3

[winterchimez]

Nonsense | Jacob Bae

SUMMARY: never would you have thought that joining the music club is where you would develop an abnormal crush on your senior/club president Jacob Bae. so when the university's annual school performance is around the corner, you have decided to give a shot to confess your feelings in the most extravagant way possible.

PAIRING: senior!Jacob x junior g.n!reader

GENRE: fluff

WARNINGS: pg-13, kissing, yall this is just pure tooth-rotting fluff

WORD COUNT: 4,473

A/N: we're back with another fic for the emails i can't send fwd: collab that i'm doing with @heemingyu 😉 shoutout to both sana & @sungbeam for beta reading & helping me out with this one!! love you both loads 💕 also, lowkey this was written for you @zzoguri aka cobster's future, i hope you'll enjoy this (and may this somehow be a little something for you during your hectic times ily my moni forever!! ❤️)

It was finally the summer holidays, and you were ecstatic as you heard the sound of a vehicle driving right onto your front porch. You had been waiting for this moment since you got the news during the new year and counting down the days on your calendar without fail every day.

Once you heard the engine stop, you immediately ran out to the door to jump right into the person’s arms which were already opened wide, fully expecting your demeanour. 

“Yujin! I’ve been waiting months for you!” You shrieked as you hugged your cousin tight, rubbing your cheek against hers. 

Both you and Yujin were raised together by your grandmother back in Vancouver, and things took a turn when your parents eventually got a promotion up in Toronto, causing you to move far away from your family. Because of that, you don’t get to see each other often anymore, the most being once every 2 years when your parents will try their best to make time to attend the Christmas parties held annually at your grandmother’s house. 

Yujin was like your long-lost sibling; even though you were cousins, you both felt there was more to that. Ever since you both have gotten your very own mobile phones, you both promised that you would FaceTime each other almost every other day. You knew everything about one another—from each other’s darkest secrets to how much money you stole from your parents' wallets when you were younger to buy that vinyl you have been eyeing for the longest time. 

But lately, things have been a bit too chaotic for you both to keep up the promised ritual. Since you both started university, it was hard to make plans, especially when studying in different courses, which also meant different timetables and classes. During the weekends, the both of you would often be occupied with either school events or at your local pizzeria as your part-time job. Hence, texting was the primary source of communication between you two.

And besides that, something crucial had happened to you lately, and you couldn’t wait to spill the beans to your cousin. 

Once you had helped Yujin unload her stuff from the car and moved it up to your room, you quickly made yourselves feel comfortable by cuddling together on your sofa bed. 

“So, tell me. How has life been for you?” you asked, blinking your eyes, trying to give her a pleading face because you wanted to know about everything that had happened lately. 

“I’ve been promoted to being part of the student council at my university! Oh, and then there’s also me actually acing an exam that I clearly did not study for because I was up all night that past few weeks playing Genshin Impact. Oh, and then there was this adorable guy from my campus who I think kind of has a crush on me because he always glances in my direction, like you know? That stare? And then—” 

“Woah woah, slow down, tiger,” you had to pause your cousin because clearly, she was dumping all of the information without giving you time to process them individually. With that, the both of you chuckled, hands placed onto your stomach as you began to laugh a little bit too hard until it started to hurt. 

This was what you had missed so dearly, and you couldn’t help but put on this genuine warm, soft smile on your face as you looked into Yujin’s eyes. 

That was until she squinted at you. 

“Whatever you’re doing right now is creeping me out real bad, so I suggest you stop that.” 

You slapped her arm. “Rude.” 

“Fine. What about you then? I’m sure your time at the University of Toronto has been a wild ride for you.” 

“About that…I have something I need to consult you for,” you lowered your head and voice to a minimum, which got your cousin's ears perked up and was prodding your arms, wanting to know the details. 

“Oh my god, did you just finally have your first kiss?”

“W-what? No! I mean, at least not yet….” 

“What do you mean not yet? So do you have a special someone in your life right now?”

With a deep sigh, you took one of the pillows lying on the floor and threw it in Yujin’s direction, causing her to hug the pillow tight as she laid her head down gently to rest on it. 

“Buckle up, babe. It’s going to be a long story.” 

Flashback

“God, why do I have to sign up for this?” 

You stomped your feet to the ground as you looked at the paper, which read: “Applications for extra-curricular activities such as clubs are mandatory for all students, commencing on April 2023.” 

Your university had been pretty lenient over the years, and they had never once forced students to participate in clubs if they chose not to, understanding that some of them had make-up classes for their courses or were just busy with their thesis and side jobs. Most of the students in the university themselves took on part-time jobs, such as working in the school’s cafeteria and library, to earn a little bit of pocket money to survive.

So, when they decided to change the rules after the previous headmaster resigned and was replaced by a new one that everyone did not like, she chose that both coursework and extracurricular activities played a crucial role in one’s graduation. 

Left with no choice, you stood before the bulletin board, trying to find a club that suited your taste. 

“Screw Mrs. Kim.” You huffed. 

“Look, Y/N. It can’t be too bad. It’s just a club. After all, nobody said you have to be super committed to it,” Your friend Keeho sighed, looking at how you beat yourself up over such trivial matters. 

“You don’t understand, Keeho. This means I will have less time at home because I will have to leave to work my shifts at the pizzeria right after clubs. What is going to happen to my games and k-dramas?” You whined. 

“If you want to graduate from university, you’re going to have to choose one now.” Knocking some sense into you, he gave you a pat on your shoulder before walking away towards the opposite direction, heading to his club.

You turned to look back at the bulletin board once again, scanning through all of the posters and flyers that were scattered throughout. After a minute or two, your eyes finally landed on this one cream-coloured flyer, and you sighed before checking the location once more before heading to your destination. 

“This is the only option that will work for now.”

“Hello?” You called out, but the room was empty as you opened and peeked your head through the door. Thinking that you should try again, you entered the room and looked around. 

There was nothing here but a ray of sunshine shining through the glass window into the empty room, and the sunlight landed directly on the lone black piano at the corners of the room.

Maybe playing it for a while wouldn’t hurt at all.

You slowly approached the piano and opened it up as you made yourself comfortable, sat down, and got into the rightful position, gently laying your hands on the keys. Immediately, you started playing one of your favourite pieces of all time, Summer by Joe Hisaishi. Unbeknownst to you, your body began swaying along with the music, enjoying the moment you were in. 

That was until a clap made you stop your tracks.

“Wow, that was some excellent playing right there.” The male gave you a round of applause as he slowly approached you, causing you to jump right up, looking all flustered. 

“I-Umm—I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to play the instrument without approval—” 

“Oh no, no! The piano is free for anyone who wants to play, so you’re all good,” he reassured you, causing you to calm your fast breathing down by placing a hand on your fast-rising chest. 

As he finally reached where you were standing, he posed a question directly at you. “Is there anything that I could help you with?” 

It was there, and then you took in his facial features as the sunlight shone from his face. His soft fluffy brunette hair, those doe-like eyes, and how mesmerising it was as he smiled. Adding onto the fact that he keeps smiling in the best way possible, your heart starts to flutter. 

“Umm, hello?” He was now waving his hands over your face. 

Oh, right. You were supposed to sign up for a club. What on earth were you thinking, Y/N?

“Y-yes! I’m here actually to umm…sign up for the club,” you said reluctantly, a little bit too shy with your answer. 

That was when the male’s eyes widened, and he did a little jump to indicate how happy he was to hear that from you, and he quickly extended out his hands to you, giving you a handshake.

“But of course! We are always open to new members joining the music club! Oh, pardon me, where were my manners? You can call me Jacob.”  

“Y-Y/N.” You replied.

It has been around two weeks since you joined the music club, and everything has been going smoothly for you. Thanks to Jacob (who turned out to be the club’s president), he has helped you so much in trying to get you to blend into the crowd and with other musicians, creating a very safe and warm atmosphere for everyone. 

It was also then that you noticed what kind of a person he was. He was very gentle, yet suitable to be a leader. The tone of his voice and the way he handled things fairly and reasonably made everyone respect him and want to perform alongside him. 

From what you have heard from the club members, Jacob would lead the team to busk at the city centre once every two to three weeks, which was where they would earn some money that served as their reward as they went out to celebrate once in a while at the local party scenes such as the bars. 

Thanks to his guidance, the university’s music club eventually garnered enough audience from the school and the public to the point that they have been invited to perform multiple times throughout the year. You have heard that even local communities such as the orphanage and childcare facilities would often ask Jacob and his team to function for the underprivileged ones, and they would gladly volunteer, even if it were for free. 

There were a few times when you stayed behind to help Jacob close up the music room (more like you were trying your best to spend much time with him as much as you could), and it was when you decided to ask him about his thoughts and the way he did things around here. 

“Music just means so much to me, and I would gladly perform every day even if I had to. It’s not about the money; it can be great as a little side income, but what matters most is that I do this because I am passionate about it,” he replied, clearly stating his goals and reasons well. 

Ever since that conversation, you notice more in detail how he did things or even when he performed. Just as he said, he was passionate—it didn’t matter if things were hindering his way, he would still make way for it. 

No matter how burnt out he could be from his coursework or side job, he would always place the music club first, making sure that not only he enjoyed the whole process but also the club members as well. 

Slowly, you began to admire him for not just his good looks but also his personality. It was as if he was this fine perfect gentleman that had just entered your life easily, and you couldn’t stop thinking about him each day. 

It was the way he was always smiling with others, the way he would sometimes sit at the piano and play a duet with you, the way you both were guitarists, so one of you would either offer a fun little duet session after club hours, even up till writing song lyrics together. 

And how there was one time he unintentionally got his arms around your waist when you slipped from the wet, freshly-cleaned wooden floor from the club, and he caught you in time. 

That was something that you have thought about all the time ever since it happened. 

As the weeks progressed to months, the little spark in your heart for him eventually grew, and it just kept getting bigger each time you saw him in the same club room. 

And that was when you knew you were in big trouble.

End of flashback 

“Damn, you're whipped,” Yujin concluded after listening to your story. 

“I know. That’s why I’m telling you this, Yujin. I’m so screwed.” You buried your head in your palms, the slight headache becoming more prominent now. 

“Hey, what’s wrong with liking a senior? I’d say it’s your time to shine and confess to him.” She reassured you by gently rubbing your back before you slowly lifted your face up. 

“That’s because I think I might be in too deep,” you mumbled. 

“And how exactly did you come up with that conclusion?” 

“Do you ever start stammering and slur your speech when they get close to you like they’ve not done anything, but somehow you just can’t converse like a proper human being.”

“Oh.” 

“When they literally tell you how they absolutely love your eyes and loved making them roll?”

“Okay. Go on.”

“And that you actually finally got their contact number and literally named them ‘do not leave me alone’?”

“Hold up, let me see.”

Reluctantly, you fished out for your phone in your back pocket and scrolled through your contact list until you found Jacob’s. As you click into it, you nervously hand your phone to your cousin, praying internally that she will not drop another diss to make you feel worse than you already are. 

Do not leave me alone ❤️‍🩹. That was exactly what was written for the club president’s contact name on your phone. 

“Damn, Y/N. I never would have thought you would be so delusional. I’d like to think that you’re far worse than I am,” Yujin declared, turning your face into a bright red tomato again. 

“I know, Yujin! And I have never felt this way before. That’s why I needed your validation.” You were practically doing somersaults mentally right now, wishing that you could take it all back, but at the same time, you needed to let out your inner feelings too.  

As Yujin handed your phone back to you, she raised an eyebrow before posing you a question. “So, what exactly do you intend to do from here on?” 

“There’s this upcoming music festival at my university this weekend, and I will be performing on stage.” 

“Oh, that’s great—”

“And I’m going to perform a song I wrote specifically about him,” you blurted out. 

That made Yujin shut her mouth as she tried to process what she had just heard. “Wow, Y/N. You are literally going all out on this.” 

“I just need a way to get this off my shoulders somehow, Yujin. And it’s now or never,” you said. 

“Will he realise that you are trying to serenade him, though?” Yujin asked as she placed her hand on your shoulder. 

“Success or not, I will still do it. And then I’ll completely forget that I’ve ever written this song ever again.”

It was finally Friday night, and the auditorium hall was filled with students, lecturers, and outsiders. Peeking from the backstage, there was this nervousness in the pit of your stomach, and you were now trying your best to rethink your actions. 

What exactly had made you even decide to sign up for the concert in the first place had remained a mystery for you, and looking back now, you swore you would’ve thrown a cold bucket of water over you to wake you up from your insanity. 

But it was too late to turn back now, as it would be your turn on stage in a few minutes. After the previous performer finished his chosen song, the MC briefly introduced you and your contributions to the music club before finally inviting you onstage. 

As you entered with the white guitar you had gotten for Christmas a few years prior, you tried your best to search for Yujin amongst the crowd—sure enough, she was sitting right at the side, waving her hands enthusiastically to cheer you on. You couldn’t help but flash a smile back. 

And finally, you decided to find the man of your dreams, and he was sitting right in the middle section along with the other club members. He gave you a clap just like the rest of the audience did and mouthed out a few words that you couldn’t grasp. Perhaps he was just saying “all the best,” as one would as they support their fellow members.

When you finally reached where the microphone stood, you adjusted yourself before positioning your fingers along the instrument's strings and introducing the piece you were about to perform. 

“This song was written by a special someone in the crowd tonight, and whoever that it may be, I hope this song speaks to your heart and that you mean a lot to me. Without further ado, enjoy.” 

With a few strums from the guitar, you gathered enough courage to smile before singing into the microphone. 

I’ll be honest.  Looking at you got me thinking nonsense. Cartwheels in my stomach when you walk in And when you got your arms around me Oh, it feels so good 

Instantly, you noticed several people from the crowd starting vibing along with your song as they naturally swayed their bodies from left to right, enjoying the melody and rhythm your song produced. 

I had to jump the octave I think I got an ex, but I forgot him And I can’t find my chill, I must’ve lost it I don’t even know, I’m talkin’ nonsense  I’m talkin’, I’m talkin’ 

When you peeked from the corner of your eye, you noticed how Yujiin practically stood up, clapping her hands along with the rhythm. Naturally, the people around her joined in, as did the crowd from the middle and far left section. 

God, were you so grateful for that, so much so that you were trying to hold back your tears. 

I’m talkin’ all around the clock I’m talkin’ hope nobody knocks I’m talkin’ opposite of soft  I’m talkin’ wild, wild thoughts You gotta keep up with me I got some young energy I caught the L-O-V-E How could you do this to me?

I’ll be honest.  Looking at you got me thinking nonsense.

With one final strum, you ended the performance with a bang, and you got the crowd to give you one of the loudest cheers you have heard throughout the night. Some have even given you a standing ovation, and you swore that tears were about to form in your eyes. 

You quickly redirected your attention to Jacob, and he did the same, standing up while giving you that sweet honey smile that you’ve grown to be obsessed with, clapping along with the rest of the audience. 

Thank you for existing, Jacob Bae. I hope you can hear my thoughts through this song written specifically for you. 

With a final bow, you quickly exited the stage.

You were sitting on a bench at a park near campus, opening the bottle of sparkling water you had gotten from one of the nearby vending machines.

You met up with Yujin right after the show and told her how you wanted some time alone just to wind down and digest everything that had happened. You reassured her that you wouldn’t be gone too long and would return as soon as possible. Thankfully, your cousin understood the message and agreed so long as you did not venture far away nor leave her alone too long exploring your campus. 

With a sip of the water, you couldn’t help but smile as you looked up into the skies filled with stars on a clear night like today. The secret was finally out, and a burden was lifted from your shoulders, so you could just sit back on the bench and relax a little bit. 

That was until a voice brought you back to reality.

“Mind if I join you?”

You jolted up from the bench to see the man you were trying to serenade, and immediately you felt the heat rise towards your cheek, and you began stammering again. 

“Y-yes, o-of course!! Umm..g-go ahead!!”

As he sat next to you, you naturally shifted slightly away from him and ducked your head down as you began to rub your palms around the water bottle you were holding back and forth. Jacob noticed your demeanour, and he couldn’t help but giggle as he saw the redness of your face becoming more prominent.

Because he had always known how you have been having a crush on him.

To break the ice, he devised a simple conversation to help you loosen up a bit and break off the tension. 

“I really like your guitar, Y/N. It’s just the right shade of white, and seeing it reminds me of elegance and simplicity but in an attractive way.” 

“U-uh, thanks! It was gifted to me as a present—”

“Just like you, Y/N.” 

Wait, what?

Did you just hear that right? Or is your mind playing tricks with you? Maybe the after-effects of adrenaline from the performance got you thinking nonsense. But you had to make sure. 

“I umm…I beg your pardon?”

“I said what I said, Y/N. I know you have a crush on me.”

Oh no.

“How I make you feel all giddy and excited every time I talk to you.”

Oh, hell no. 

“And I’m going to guess that the song you just performed was directed towards me.”

Lord Jesus, take the wheel. 

At this point, you felt as if you were receiving dozens of arrows shooting right into your heart one at a time, and you were just about to pass out. What you thought was a simple crush became way too apparent to the point that your love interest has already known since day one. 

This is the most embarrassing shit ever. 

You quickly recollected yourself by sitting up straight and clearing your throat before responding properly. 

“Ha-ha, I guess I-I was too obvious!! I-I’m sorry if I might’ve made you un-uncomfortable in any way—”

That was when Jacob interrupted you. “What makes you think I was uncomfortable by all of this?”

Jacon now inches a few spots closer to where you were, and your butt was glued shut on the bench because if you were to move any further, you would end up falling straight onto the grass. 

Oh, good lord. 

“I’m actually grateful for you, Y/N. I think it’s the first time anyone has ever felt that way about me,” he smiled. 

That was when you blinked your eyes. “W-what, really? How can people not fall in love with you—” You clasped your hands over your mouth as soon as you said the “L” word. 

He chuckled. “I don’t know. People have always seemed to view me as a good friend but not a potential love interest. I haven’t had one since a long time ago, and that made me rethink if I could ever date again.”

Gently he laid his hands onto yours that were situated on the bench as he turned his full attention to you now. 

“And funny enough, I’m pretty sure I have feelings for you too. The moment I saw you playing Summer on the piano that first day we met, I knew there was something different about you. And I am so glad that eventually we got close to one another.”

After that, Jacob finally took in a deep breath before turning his direction back to you, which made you gulped for a second. “I think it wouldn’t be fair for me to not give you a proper response to your confession to me, no?” 

Oh, god. It’s here. “S-so…what are your thoughts, Jacob? Was the song okay?”

“Y/N. It was far beyond just okay. It was a masterpiece, and I loved how quirky you are with the lyrics. It was something else, but it suited my taste.” 

As he finally intertwined his fingers with yours, he inched his face closer to yours until they were centimetres apart. 

“I accept the proposal, Y/N.” He smiled.

“Y-you…you do?” You asked weakly as if you were already not melting enough from the tension and heat. 

“Will you give me a chance, Y/N?” There was this glistening in his eyes, and he looked exactly like Puss in Boots from the animation that both you and Yujin loved watching when you were kids.

“If you’re ready to deal with me, of course,” you stammered. 

He gave you the biggest smile before pulling you into a warm embrace. “More than ready, Y/N.” 

As you sunk into his embrace and took in his scent, you rested your chin upon his shoulders and stayed just like that briefly before Jacob broke off the hug and gently grabbed both of your shoulders, his eyes now landing on your lips. 

“May I?” 

Without giving a proper answer, you immediately shut your eyes, indicating that it was a yes in your books. Jacob chuckled at that for a while before leaning in to give a peck on your lips. 

The sweet moment was then ruined by a ruffling noise coming from behind as both you and Jacob turned towards its direction. Sure enough, you found your cousin Yujin emerging from one of the trees with her phone in hand, recording the whole session. 

“Now, that is what I call a successful indirect confession!” She exclaimed. 

“Miss Ahn Yujin don’t you even dare—” you quickly threatened her before you took off running towards where she was, and she did the same but ran away from you instead. 

“You will be sleeping on the streets tonight!” You yelled.

“Try me, Y/N!” She replied. 

Jacob watched as the two of you began chasing each other around the park, and he couldn’t help but giggle as he laid back and propped one arm on the bench, just admiring everything about you. 

“Little did you know Y/N, that you also got me thinking nonsense about you all day every day.”

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[sanaxo-o]

Lonesome (Ji Changmin)

Warnings: cheating, drinking, kissing, cursing, just hurt with no comfort lmao, genuinely just plain angst with no happy ending :)

Word count: 2594

Sana: Hihi back with our series Emails I can’t send fwd. It genuinely took me ages to write something because I kept jumping from one member to another and ally was just so understanding 😭. A huge huge thanks to @winterchimez @invuwrld and @from-izzy for beta reading this and giving me their suggestions. Love you guys <3

“One more of this please.” You say with your eyebrows arched together. Placing your aching head in your hands you heavy out a small, tired sigh as you think back to the times when you were still happy.

Ever since you were young, all you ever wanted was your love life to be filled with joy and happiness. You knew that was not it, you saw all the hardships your parents went through when they were together but they always found their way back to each other. That was true love in your eyes.

You always dreamed about finding a man who loved you just like your dad did; you remember your older brother talking with you about the girl he used to like. You were envious of that feeling he had because you never felt it, but when you saw your brother wail over the same girl who used to bring that silly smile to his face, it made you question if love was really what you thought it was.

You think back to the time when you promised your brother to never cheat on your future partner, the way his eyes glistened with tears because he was the one who got cheated on made you swear that never in your life will you ever cheat on your partner. That is if you ever find one.

And when you did find the one, you thought that’s all you will ever need. It was as if your life was complete and you were now with the man you would love forever.

Being with Changmin truly did change your life, the way your eyes would sparkle whenever you saw his smile or when he would do those small gestures for you unknowingly made you feel like you were the only person who would ever matter to him.

You thought you would never lose him, not with the way your relationship was going on a smooth pattern but life had different decisions for you.

When you got together with Changmin, you knew it was gonna be difficult in the beginning. The man was known for having commitment issues; he was popularly known for only dating for a month and then ghosting them.

But you thought what you had with him was different; you guys went through your relationship for over a month. Hell, you surprised everyone when you both celebrated your three months anniversary.

You never thought that it would all come crashing down like this, not when your love for him was so strong.

You should have known, you were not the one when he stopped gazing at you with love in his eyes, the way he started snapping at you for the smallest things and then apologising for it blaming that he was just stressed.

You were afraid— to be his history when you dreamed about being his present, past and future. Well, then it might just remain a dream then, right?

Taking a sip of the alcohol that was placed in front of you, you looked around your surroundings, the very place where your relationship started falling apart.

—x—

Flashback

Entering the crowded club, you try your best to stick around with Changmin. Coming out to clubs three times a week was never your thing. Yes, you went to clubs, but it was only for rare or special occasions.

But considering the fact that Changmin was a huge party animal, you knew you would have to come to some of the parties along with him. You were his girlfriend, after all.

“Wait, where are you going?” You ask Changmin with a small voice as you grip his hand tightly. Afraid you might get separated in this crowded place.

“I will just look for Juyeon, you should go and get yourself a drink. I will be back in no time.” Saying that Changmin gave your forehead a small kiss as he dragged you to the bar counter, “Order some drinks for yourself while I go and talk to Juyeon about something, hmm?” He says as he caresses your hands softly while lovingly gazing into your round eyes.

You could see the sparkle still present in them. It never seemed to disappear when you were with him, which warmed your heart.

Giving him a small nod you watch his figure disappear into the room full of people. Heaving out a sigh, you order yourself a mocktail, even though you are not in the mood to drink alcohol.

—x—

Heaving out a sigh you grip onto your phone as you look at the time displayed on your screen. 12:37. It has been more than an hour since Changmin walked away to have a talk with Juyeon, and still there was no sight of him.

Getting up from the stool, you hand the bartender the money you owe him as you start walking away from there to search for Changmin.

Going around the dance floor, there was no sight of Changmin. Getting worried, you go up to the second floor to search for him. He should most probably be there, right?

Walking up the stairs you start feeling nauseous, being around all those drunk people whose bodies kept on brushing against yours made you sick. You could smell all the sweat which made you want to throw up.

As you reach the second floor, you start walking towards the spread-out couches. Looking around you could feel your legs coming to an immediate halt when you saw Changmin talking with some other person, a woman to be exact.

You could not believe your eyes, he left you there all alone while he was chit-chatting with some other girl.

Taking slow steps towards him you noticed Changmin look up at you, but his eyes did not sparkle like they used to before.

“Hey, I was looking for you…” you say quietly. Too afraid to speak any louder knowing your voice may break if you do so. “I think I will leave now. You can have fun and stay back. I don’t feel so good anyway!” You say in a rushed tone as you turn on your heels and walk away from there.

You expected Changmin to come after you, too, maybe drop you off or something but when you did not feel any presence behind you, you lost all hope.

Exiting the club, you remove your heels and hold them in your hands as you sit down on the footpath, too heartbroken to even think about looking for a ride back home.

Looking up at the night sky, you stare at the moon shining its light down on you brightly.

Sniffing you bite back your tears as the previous scene keeps on playing back in your mind. You knew you were gonna lose him, it was obvious, but you did not want to let him go.

Flashback ends

—x—

“Miss, I think it’s enough for now. You’re drunk, and we need to close. Could you please call someone who could pick you up?” You hear the bartender say to you. Looking up at him you nod your head and stand up from your chair.

Stumbling on your way to the exit, your hands hover above his contact name. Despite all the things he has done, why is it that he’s the first person you could think of in this situation? Why is it that your fingers subconsciously clicks on his contact name as you wait for him to pick up?

“Hello?” You heard Changmin’s voice beam through the other line. Heaving out a sigh you sit down on the very footpath you were on when you encountered Changmin with the girl that day.

“Could you pick me up?” You slur out. From the way you were speaking, Changmin caught onto the fact that you were drunk.

“Where are you?” You hear him ask while telling him the name of the club you hang up on him before he could reply back.

Staring down at your empty hands, your mind drifts back to the time when you started noticing Changmin distancing himself from you.

The way he would always space out while you were talking, the numerous times he reached home late with the smell of a different perfume on his clothes.

—x—

Flashback

It was a day everyone was eager for; you guys were gonna graduate. A new era and a chapter were about to begin tomorrow.

You were more than excited for this day; you graduated from university with flying colours, you already applied for different jobs which you were sure you would enjoy, but most of all, you were happy that you were able to share this moment with Changmin.

You knew he was happy about graduating, but there was something else on his mind.

Approaching you with Juyeon beside him, he stood right beside you while he held onto your waist as he told Juyeon to click a picture of you both together.

Looking up at his face you noticed the difference in them, he was not smiling like usual.

You wanted to push him away, yell at him, ask him why everything changed between you two.

You wanted to scream at him and ask ‘Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me? Why were you thinking about her when I was right there with you? Did you imagine her face when we would kiss?’ You had so many questions, but all of them were left unanswered.

Flashback ends

—x—

“Y/N…” you heard a voice call out your name. Looking up, you saw Changmin getting out of his car as he walked towards you.

Standing in front of you he gently pulled you up as he supported you so you could walk towards his car.

Opening the passenger door, he gently pushed you inside, making sure you were secured by the seat belt.

Hiding your face in your hands, you could feel your tears escaping your eyes, your body shaking with each sob.

“Y/N? What…what happened?” You heard Changmin ask from beside you. Placing his hands on yours, he pulled them down so he could have a better look at your face.

“Everything…everything is wrong…” you sob out, your voice cracking at the end.

“What do you mean?” He asks softly as he wipes your tears away. Pushing his hand away harshly, you look away from him, staring out the window you look out the window.

If the circumstances were different, you would have loved being out with him like this; kissing him in the car underneath the moonlight was something you always enjoyed when you were with him, but who knows he might be doing this with someone else too.

“Why would you do this to me?” You ask softly as you turn your attention back to him.

“I don’t get it…” he says softly as his face displays nothing but confusion.

“Why can’t I be the only one in your life? Why did you have to cheat on me? Why?” You sob out as you hit his chest multiple times with your fist.

“I…I am sorry.” Was all he said as he gripped your hands in his, stopping you from hitting him. His hold was still gentle, but his gaze wasn’t. It did not hold the same love in them like it used to and it pained you more knowing you were not the girl in his heart anymore.

“Were you thinking about her with your hand on my waist? Were you thinking about her face whenever we kissed? Was her name in your mind even when I was with you?” You question him, letting out your feelings and not having the strength to keep them in anymore.

Sighing, Changmin let your hands go as he looked ahead of him; nodding his head he could hear your sob escape.

“I hate the fact that you’re not there with me when I wake up...I hate the fact that you would run out for her, even if it’s the middle of the night. I still think about our very first kiss, but it pains me knowing it’s not the same for you.” You ramble out.

“I am sorry…” was all he said again.

“You know what’s more funny? I feel lonely even when you’re with me because it feels like you’re never around anymore. I would rather be alone than feel lonely…” you say with frustration as you move your hair out of your face. Chucking you rest your head on the seat to try to calm yourself down, “You know it’s funny how you’re gonna leave me now that I am in love with you. Can I do that to my problems too? Will they leave me if I fall in love with them? Because I don’t think I have the energy nor the strength to do anything.” You say as a tear slips down your eyes onto your cheeks.

“Don’t say that, please…” he says as he tries to grab your hand, only for you to push it away.

“Did you even give a fuck about me, Ji Changmin? Was this all just a game for you?” You say as harshly wipe your tears.

“No, I did love you, but…but she’s different, Y/N. I feel more free around her…” he says, his voice coming out small.

“So you’re saying I tied you down?” You ask with hurt visible in your eyes.

“No!” He screams in panic.

“Well, that’s what you implied!” You scream back at him.

You spare him one last look as you grip onto your bag, “Let’s break up…I cannot do this anymore.” You say as you open the door and leave the car.

Sipping on your coffee as you look out the window, it has been three months since your break up with Changmin.

You did everything you could to move on from him, you jumped from one guy to another but that did nothing since your mind seemingly drifts off to Changmin at the end of the day.

To stop that you even tried going to clubs to get wasted but what you did notice was the fact that you would come back home drunk and cry yourself to sleep while thinking about Changmin only to wake up with a severe headache and a hangover the next day.

You stopped looking after yourself; you did not even eat properly and drowned yourself in work which was not a good decision because you ended up fainting from fatigue.

As of now, you were still on the path of moving on from Changmin but in a more healthy and positive way.

Maybe what you were looking for right now wasn’t a relationship or a partner; you did not want your new relationship to end like your previous one.

You did not want to feel lonely despite having a partner, you would rather choose to be alone than to feel lonely and let yourself get insecure.

Maybe being in a relationship at the moment wasn’t the right timing for now, maybe in the future you would be happier than you are now.

Now you know that loving one’s self comes before loving another, because would it be fair if you gave all your love to your partner, then leaving nothing to yourself? All you knew was that before you got into another relationship you should love yourself first because what you learned from your relationship with Changmin was that there’s no point in being together with someone if you did not love yourself enough.

Taglist: @cloverdaisies @kimsohn @mosviqu @i520cm @deoboyznet

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happy 1 year eics ♡