#🍦robin buckley. headcanons : ̗̀➛ what if there’s just something about me that drives people away?

[hawkinsgsa]

MAJOR VOL. 2 SPOILERS

robin finds herself extremely devastated upon finding out about eddie’s death.... she’s NEVER experienced loss on that sort of scale before ( because sure, she’s lost friends over the years, but in the drifting apart kind of way— and barb, she convinced herself so well that barb MUST have just gotten out of hawkins as a means of coping that she never really gave herself a chance to grieve, even when they hadn’t really talked for years ). but eddie? she only knew him for a very short amount of time, but... she FELT for him. she knows what it’s like to be looked at as a freak, felt sympathy towards his situation, and WANTED to help wherever she could even when she couldn’t get herself to look at things positively... he was someone that she wanted to get to know more, to ACTUALLY maybe even be friends with too...... so finding out what happened? it hurts in a way she doesn’t even know how to describe yet.

it isn’t until things begin to settle down more, until she finally gets a moment to exist with herself and her emotions, to PROCESS the absolute mess of events they just went through.... that she finally, truly cries for a little while— a bitter, strangled sort of crying that is anything BUT neat and pretty. 

robin also frequently takes down and replaces vandalized posters/other ways in which the people of hawkins slander eddie’s name, as well as VEHEMENTLY tells off anyone she catches doing so. she doesn’t care what sort of representation that might give her, she’ll take it over letting an innocent friend who deserved so much better receive that treatment. 

[hawkinsgsa]

one of the things that i’m adapting from the novel instead of the show is that robin actually plays the FRENCH HORN / MELLOPHONE. the scene in s4 shows her playing the trumpet, and while i wouldn’t put it past her to learn multiple instruments, the french horn was her first and her favorite choice in band ( the mellophone being her substitute for it in marching band ). 

[hawkinsgsa]

robin puts so much emphasis on rebelling in the novel and yes this IS about her burning desire to get out of hawkins one day, see the world outside of its monotony, and break free from expectations but i .... also believe that down to its roots her idea of rebelling is really just being so god damn tired of masking for her own protection...so exhausted with the idea that she HAS to conform to survive which is immediately contrary to who she is naturally. her “rebelling” doesn’t turn out to be leaving hawkins or a summer trip to europe but letting herself speak her mind more often and not letting the constraints of reading social cues stop her from this despite the negative attention it brings her.... she literally just wants to be who she is, that’s just automatically labeled as an act of rebellion whenever she does due to the environment she lives in

[hawkinsgsa]

by the way, i take heavy inspiration from the novel and podcast in my portrayal of robin! i definitely want to throw out some in-depth headcanons about its specific events/look into her character eventually, but it’s probably just gonna be a handful of names/references that come through in replies right now. 

specifically kate, dash, and milton as past friends of her’s from band ( kate and milton who she’s kept up with but drifted apart from, while dash is an ex-friend completely— milton will also likely be referenced as part of her journey with figuring out she’s a lesbian since their friends encouraged them to date for a bit ), mr. hauser ( her past english teacher who was a mentor figure to her ), and robin’s past friendship with barb when they were much younger ( also drifted apart when barb befriended nancy )

[hawkinsgsa]

anyways robin ( + nancy, and steve ) with horrible bruises after being choked in the upside down for so long

[hawkinsgsa]

tag drop 2 — character tags