#🍍 read it and weep (aziraphale)

[stupiidgood]

bitch i thrived without you

shawn vc: sup nerd

i mean this in the politest way possible when i say i am amazed that you survived this long without me.

[stupiidgood]

Random Incorrect Quotes Generator | @collectedbooks

[stupiidgood]

shawn + aziraphale, bastard with wings @collectedbooks

[stupiidgood]

@collectedbooks | from here

“Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.” she smirks, using his love of the Bard against him. Nothing makes Shawn more fulfilled than when she can ruffle the feathers of an angel--or a demon.

“And just because you fooled heaven and hell with your boyfriend body switcharoo--yeah, that’s right, I know--”

shawn’s unique position allows her to gather all sorts of information. what she chooses to do with it, well, that’s where purgatory differs from the above and below. often times she hangs on to it until one side offers something too good to pass up. everything’s for her own gain in the end.

oh sure-- in the big ineffable moral fucking scope of things, he might be “better” with his halo and front row seat with the Lord; while Shawn battles with the hopeless and the hopeful, never sure which is which; who wants to be better for the sake of being better or for the sake of themselves. ( Glass houses, maybe, but she wasn’t sent there, she was formed there. )

“--doesn’t mean you’re better. just smarter. more creative.”  it could be a compliment but Shawn doesn’t value those qualities.

[stupiidgood]

collectedbooks‌:

shawn smiles, nods, even laughs the slightest bit. aziraphale’s caught her in a good mood— and what’s more stroked her ego.

“Mrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrocco!” ( okay, she might also be a little drunk. ) “Sweet things aren’t a’hundred percent anymore, but the sixties had to be shaken up. There’s still some in zoos but no ’un believes it.” she hoists half her body up on the table and whisper-shouts, “got their dna mixed with a liiiiittle bit of divinity.”

aziraphale  nods  along  patiently,  eyebrow  raised  in  endless  amusement  and,  undeniably,  growing  excitement  at  the  prospect  of  a  revived  species.

‘ they’ve  been  there  the  whole  time?   goodness,  what  a  marvelous  little  easter  basket!   i’m  sure  the  zoologists  would  love  to  find  that  out! ‘      he  makes  a  sound  somewhere  between  a  snort  and  indignation,  flapping  a  hand  at  her  to  try  to  get  her  off  the  table  and  properly  back  in  a  chair .      ‘ i  don’t  think  that’s  legal,  strictly  speaking.   michael  crichton  would  have  words.   what  about  DODOS,  are  there  any  of  those  still  around? ‘

“They are my babies and I am their mother.”

not only does she not back off, she grabs his hand and uses it, continuing gesturing. it’s his own fault; how dare he assume that she can sit normally, she’s gay. ( which leads her to wonder why he can, given that he’s approximately 1000x gayer. )

Pfffft. “Legal schmegal, beagle. ’Sides he’s dead. Wha’s he gonna do?”

“Oooh yeah. A few dodos still.” she smiles. “I’m lookin’ at one right now.”  The smile turns into a snort which turns into a fit of giggles.

This is why they can’t have nice things.

[stupiidgood]

you are a virgin, mary

shawn vc: sup nerd

i mean this in the politest way possible when i say i am amazed that you survived this long without me.