#🌻 ㅤ character study.

[goldgaze]

ju sungji stardew valley wiki (wip)

[idolkilling]

THIS BLOG IS 21+ ONLY FOR OCCASIONAL SEX, VIOLENCE, & “DEAD DOVE” THEMES.  All depictions of crime or taboo are for fictional character exploration and not endorsed in real life.  Please read my carrd before you follow.  Last updated 08/2024. twitter｜ao3｜toyhou.se @killshopdeluxe — misc/reblogs

Hi I’m Kill !  Fibromyalgia having broke ass OC drawer and writer… welcome 2 my twisted mind (mostly shitposts and gay ikemen).  I love RP and OC interacts, so feel free to toss your OCs at mine any time!

More info + taglist below 🕺🏻✨

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🚕 SOCIALS

This is a sideblog.  I generally follow and send asks from @idolkilling-alt, but may use a different primary depending on what you post—I curate my dashboards by subject matter, and idolkilling’s is focused on OCs!  That said, feel free to engage regardless of what sort of blog you run; I love to chat! :D

@killshopdeluxe is where I will mostly be reblogging things (OC-related, misc, and fandom) and making personal text posts, to keep this blog organised!

If you know me from my previous kink-focused blogs—I’ll remake them! Just give me some time to set up ^^

My other socials are listed above, but I’ll go into depth here as well!

twitter — I tend to only post my art/writing or RT friends’ works on main, but if we interact a lot (off-anon, naturally), you can request to follow my personal and doodle alt !  I’m always yapping there 🫡

ao3 — Where my polished writing is hosted!  It takes me a long ass time to complete fics or edit RPs though, so I’ll share WIPs/unrefined pieces on this blog.

toyhou.se — My list of active OCs!  I try to keep their profiles short and sweet, so please ask me about any of them you’re curious about!

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⚠️ MY WORKS: TERMS OF USE

DO NOT repost my original work to any site, inclusive of using my art as an icon, banner, or background without express permission.

DO NOT use my works as reference material, inclusive of tracing my art, studying my style, or taking heavy inspiration from the designs or stories of my OCs.  I am a small hobby creator, not a big IP, so people piggybacking off my works to make their own—especially with the intent to publish or monetise—is hurtful (and has already happened several times).  TT

DO NOT tag my OCs as your own characters or use them as references/RP claims.

Any media IP fanworks I make can be reposted ¹ or used without permission, as long as I am credited with a link back to one of my socials.  That said, if I have already posted the art or writing to the intended site (eg. Twitter, Tumblr), please just boost my original post.

¹ caveat: Please do not post my art onto TikTok 🙁

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💫 INTERACTING

Fanworks of any kind featuring my OCs are welcome—and feel free to have them interacting with your own characters! If you make anything, please @ me and tag #idolkilling!  This part is optional, but feel free to also tag the full names of the OC/s depicted (written below in the “TAGLIST” section) ^^  If I miss your post, please PM!

PMs are currently unavailable for this blog, so please use @idolkilling-alt or my Twitter if you want to message me privately (though I’m not very good at one-on-one conversations ahaha). Alternatively, feel free to invite me to your (dark fiction-friendly) group Discord servers, or join one of my own!

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🪐 TAGLIST

It should be noted that I will not usually tag specific warnings for sensitive content, nor will I use Tumblr’s built-in censor/blur.  While the majority of my works on this blog are fairly tame, please beware of occasional (untagged):

violence, gore, body horror, and other grotesque imagery

depictions of abuse or other toxic/taboo dynamics

suggestive or outright sexual imagery, often featuring RACK or monsterkink

For the most part, my “dead dove” works are on the subtler side, but it is there!  If I feel like anything is darker than usual I’ll tag #dead dove: do not eat, in case anyone wants to mute such content.

Personal

#🌻kill.txt ｜ #🌻kill.abt — personal posts and info

#🪻blog.new ｜ #🪻blog.abt — blog updates and info

Content Archival

#📧OC Q&A — general trivia on my OCs, as well as ask responses

#📁MY OUS/AUS ｜ #📁OTHERS’ OUS/AUS ｜ #📁MEDIA IPS

#📁MISC SOLO ｜ #📁MISC RP — works that do not have any specific fleshed out setting

#📁MY OCS ｜ #📁OTHERS’ OCS ｜ #📁MEDIA CHARACTERS

#💘SHIPPING — specific ship tags in “OC-Related” subsection

#🎨ILLUST ｜ #📝WRITING — my own works, sorted into the subtags #scrawls, #rough, #clean, and #coloured as well as #drabbles, #oneshots, and #ongoing respectively; #WIPs and #showcase are used for both

#💞TREASURE BOX — works featuring my OCs by other people

#💛OTHERS’ WORKS — works by my OC collaborators! :D

OC-Related

I use an OC’s full name for art, writing, and any information on them (in response to asks or in general musings) I find important/vital. I may sometimes include works by other people in their main tags if I feel they represent the character’s vibes well to people who are not yet familiar with my OCs! I’ll usually tag other people’s OCs by their full names as well, unless the mun has their own tagging conventions (in which case I’ll follow suit).

Most characters’ full names are present on their Toyhou.se profiles, but I’ll list relevant ones here as well (especially since Xero and Velo’s are busted LMAO):

Xero Ouroboros Flamel Nocturne Jabberwock Lacrimosa etc … if you don’t want to remember all that Xero | Ouroboros is fine!

Dimitri Andreyevich Noskov

Reis Cordis ｜ The Lord of the Flies ｜ Navid Veisi

Umetarou Sano Lecce

Velo Velocity

Dr. Evening Threnody

Beyond that, I’ll use their shortened name + a descriptor to organise posts, as follows:

#[OC] by others — works featuring the character by other people

#[OC] info — self-explanatory; includes responses to asks

#[OC] answers — asks or replies where I draw/write the character responding directly

#[OC] core — random things that remind me of the character

Rounding back to shipping, each pairing or polycule has a main generic tag, but may feature subtags indicating top/bottom or D/s order (for sexual, suggestive, or otherwise ‘charged’ works).  The Eastern fandom practise of ordered tags is important to me, as oftentimes AB and BA are their own separate dynamics completely!

#Arizona — ANTE × Zion (Ram’s)

#Atomic Zero — Xero × Zeta (Ram’s)

#Knife Life — Xero × Killer Girl (Kumkrum’s)

#TBA — Dimitri × Minkyu (mihlen’s)

#TBA｜dimieros, xerodima — Dimitri × Xero

#TBA｜navitarou, tarounavi — Navid × Tarou

#TBA｜taroureis, reistarou — Tarou × Reis

#TBA — Xero × Minkyu (mihlen’s)

#TBA — Zeta (Ram’s) × Dimitri

They’re all just listed in alphabetical order since I wasn’t sure how else to sort them ahaha.  (Also this section is currently WIP as I upload more art/try to think of generic ship names… Bear with me 💀)

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🍳 BLOGROLL

People I OC with a lot 🤼 !!!  Check out their socials 🥰

@mihlen｜twitter｜ao3｜toyhou.se

@ramsauced｜twitter｜toyhou.se

@enigma-sanctity｜twitter

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🌻 ABOUT ME

I’m Filipino, born and raised outside of the mainland United States (though I’ve sadgely lost my fluency 😔) and somewhere in the East Coast now.  I’m non-binary (femme [not a woman] + transmasc) and aroace (-spec).  I got that dog (chronic disability) in me so I’m often languishing in bed like a Victorian prince with tuberculosis (but we ball).  Instead of having conventional mento health struggles I got hit with the niche and silly beam (OCD/C-PTSD among them) :(  I suffer the paradoxical curse of being both a high-maintenance extravert who never shuts up and extremely, painfully shy…

Creative works are just my hobby and I do [vague office things] as a job.  An assortment of media I like can be found on my carrd, but in terms of recently popular fandoms, I enjoy Trigun and Deadpool & Wolverine !  I’m mostly a film guy, though.  Beyond fiction I have old person interests like buying seasonal produce, home improvement, and tailoring.

I pretty much exclusively blog from PC—please give my blog’s theme a look on PC browser if you get a chance! :D

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[goldgaze]

character truths

bold ( always / often ) / italic ( sometimes ) / strike ( past ) :

001. smoking — the habit of inhaling and exhaling the smoke of tobacco or a drug 002. binge drinking — the consumption of an excessive amount of alcohol in a short period of time 003. drug abuse — the habitual taking of illegal drugs 004. nail biting — a common body language sign of anxiety/ tension 005. lip biting — a common body language sign of anxiety/ tension 006. night owl — a person who is habitually awake or wakeful at night 007. early bird — a person who rises, arrives, or acts before the usual or expected time 008. negative attitudes — a philosophy of approaching life with criticism and pessimism 009. positive attitudes — a philosophy of approaching life with optimism and confidence 010. swearing — the use of offensive language 011. superstitious — an irrational belief that an object, action, or circumstance not logically related to a course of events influences its outcome 012. inspecting fingernails — a common body language sign of boredom 013. scratching your neck — a common body language sign of uncertainty 014. foot and finger tapping — a common body language sign of stress / impatience 015. nose touch — a subtle body language sign of deceit 016. flipping hair — a common body language sign of craving attention 017. twirling hair — a common body language sign of flirtation 018. cracking knuckles — a common body language sign of readiness 019. hands behind back — a common body language sign of confidence 020. finger pointing — a common body language sign of authority 021. hands on hips — a common body language sign of readiness 022. hands in pockets — a common body language sign of mistrust / reluctance 023. frequent touch — a common body language sign of warmth / familiarity 024. throat-clearing — a common body language sign of rejection / doubt 025. jaw-clenching — a common body language sign of hostility 026. eye-rolling — a common body language sign of irritation 027. head-tilt — a common body language sign of interest 028. whistling — to emit high-pitched sound by forcing breakthrough a small hole between one’s lips or teeth; usually to a tune 029. humming — make a low, steady continuous sound; usually to a tune 030. perfectionism — refusal to accept any standard short of perfection 031. photographic memory — the ability to remember information or visual images in great detail 032. paranoia — a mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance, typically worked into an organized system 033. exaggeration — a statement that represents something as better or worse than it really is 034. intuitive — using or based on what one feels to be true even without conscious reasoning; instinctive 035. quick-witted — showing or characterized by an ability to think or respond quickly and effectively 036. interrupting — breaking the continuity of a conversation with one’s own statements 037. doodling — to scribble or make rough drawings, absentmindedly 038. irritable — having or showing a tendency to be easily annoyed 039. gambling — to play games of chance for money; betting 040. travel-sick — suffering from nausea caused by motion of a moving vehicle or boat 041. sensitive — having or displaying a quick and delicate appreciation of others’ feelings 042. melancholy — a feeling of pensive sadness, typically with no obvious cause 043. chewing tobacco — the exercise of chewing tobacco which is not swallowed 044. fidgeting — to make small movements, especially of the hands and feet, through nervousness or impatience 045. skeptical — not easily convinced ; having doubts or reservations 046. neat-freak — compulsively obsessed with cleanliness 047. gossiping — divulging personal information about others 048. prim — feeling or showing disapproval of anything regarded as improper; stiffly correct 049. abbreviating — giving others nicknames / shortening names / giving pet names 050. having a catchphrase — having a sentence or phrase typically associated with a specific person

[goldgaze]

PEOPLE AS BIRDS

SPARROW

innocence, big dreamer, waking up too early, walking home, being afraid of meeting new people, slim hands, always cold, reading a book under a tree, the smell of the forest, missing your home.

EAGLE

independent, caring too much for others, sharp looks, walking down the city late at night, the tallest and most spectacular building, iron, being single and okay in a world that tells you that being single is bad.

SWIFT

falling in love easily and heavily, traveler, the infinity of the bluest sky, storms, broken smiles, forgetting people who used to be your beloved ones, feeling out of place, mistrusting people, a fleeting romance.

CROW

feeling as if you have seen so much and as if you know a lot, prejudge, tight hugs that leave you breathless, a grey sky, serenity, intelligence, being left behind, chains, smoke, the pride of someone wise.

DOVE

petals, jealousy, being tired of living with the same old faces, whispered secrets, marble, sundresses, white clothes, the first sunset of winter, pride in who you are, learning to get over someone.

SEAGULL

family, golden light, the sea murmuring in your ear, summer afternoons, caramel ice cream, collecting seashells and other things and calling them treasures, living breezy and carefree, swimming in sunlight.

CANARY

artistic, getting excited easily, dancing and singing while you are alone, looking at your friends having fun, no phone, being afraid of judgement, spring, a meaningful gift, the first ray of sunlight.

[goldgaze]

*   EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE

bold whatever applies to your muse. italicize the things that only somewhat apply / are verse dependent. REPOST, DON’T REBLOG.

been cheated on | been bullied | had your heart broken | broken someone’s heart | told a horrible lie | been betrayed | been framed or set up | stolen something of value | overdosed on drugs | been drunk | cheated | bullied | been publicly humiliated | punched someone in the face | been beaten up | broken a bone | been admitted to a hospital | put someone in the hospital | had a near-death experience | been drugged | done drugs | smoked | been arrested | been homeless | been forced to commit a crime | died and came back to life | kissed someone you weren’t attracted to | bled severely | killed someone | been forced to kill someone | had an attempt on your life | made an attempt on your own life | lost someone | loved someone | watched a loved one die | failed to save or help a loved one | felt helpless | watched your world die or disappear | had your life’s work stolen or destroyed | gone without food for over three days | gone without sleep for over three days | been tortured or questioned | been shot | been stabbed | been poisoned | been held prisoner | been trapped | been buried alive | been held hostage | held someone hostage | been stuck in a different world or universe or time | been abused by someone who should have loved or appreciated or valued you | had a panic attack | had night terrors | been in a car accident | lost your job | lost a fight | had sex with a stranger | been divorced | been abandoned | passed out from pain | cried yourself to sleep | spent a whole day in bed | hurt yourself | taken your anger out on yourself | taken your anger out on someone you love | been used | been manipulated | felt used | manipulated someone else | had your memories or mind wiped or stolen or tampered with | been taken over by a hostile force | been terrified | played a cruel game on someone | been forced to smile | felt too many things at once | laughed when you felt like crying | been in denial | been denied | faced your demons

[goldgaze]

CHARACTER FLAWS

BOLD - character trait ITALIC - sometimes character trait

absent-minded | abusive | addict | adrenaline junkie | aggressive | aimless | alcoholic | anxious | arrogant | audacious | bad liar | bigmouth | bigot | blindly loyal | blunt | callous | childish | chronic heroism | cheater | clingy | clumsy | cocky | codependent | competitive | corrupt | cowardly | cruel | cynical | delinquent | delusional | dependent | depressed | deranged | disloyal | ditzy | egotistical | envious | erratic | fickle | finicky | fixated | flaky | frail | fraudulent | foul mouthed | guilt complex | gloomy | gluttonous | gossiper | gruff | grudgeholding | gullible | hedonistic | humorless | hypochondriac | hypocritical | idealist | idiotic | ignorant | immature | impatient | incompetent | indecisive | insecure | insensitive | lazy | lewd | liar | lustful | manipulative | masochistic | meddlesome | melodramatic | money-loving | moody | naive | nervous | nosy | ornery | overprotective | overly sensitive | paranoid | passive-aggressive | perfectionist | pessimist | petty | power-hungry | proud | possessive | pushover | reckless | reclusive | remorseless | rigorous | sadistic | sarcastic | senile | selfish | self-destructive | shallow | sociopathic | sore loser | spineless | spiteful | spoiled | stubborn | suspicious | tactless | temperamental | timid | thief | tone-deaf | traitorous | unathletic | ungracious | unlucky | unsophisticated | untrustworthy | vain | withdrawn | workaholic

[goldgaze]

this one goes out to all of my mm mutuals. if you run a mm blog, i think you’re pretty wicked and talented. pls know i wanna write with you. i wanna get all the spam about how awesome you think a certain character is. i wanna ship with you. i wanna write with the characters that you feel might be a bit less popular than you’d hoped or less requested than you’d like. i wanna write the verses you’ve been dying to write in but haven’t gotten the opportunity to. this is just a psa to let you know that ily.

[goldgaze]

👫 :)c

introduce to an npc meme | accepting

introducing: min yingsu

sister in law (8 years older). sibling figure. blogger | photographer. married to takhou.

yingsu and takhou met during his time at university. although he won’t admit it, sungji is convinced it was love at first site.

yingsu has always been passionate about the arts and is an incredibly talented photographer. although she dabbles in a bit of everything photography-wise (nature, portraits, entertainment, etc.), some of her most prominent work is in fashion. she runs a fashion blog professionally and casually, both frequently feature sungji (her reluctant star model).

having still lived with her brother up until moving in with sumin, she lived in yingsu for several years after their marriage. from the moment they met, sungji felt comfortable with yingsu. their relationship was very easy and she is grateful for that. the elder took on an older sister role right away, having been so young when she lost her mother sungji was in desperate need. painting nails and doing hair and playing dress up and taking her shopping and doing make up and playing video games and helping her try (and fail) and sports- yingsu was around for it all. her schedule was far more flexible than takhou’s due to his rigorous university/veterinary school course load, so yingsu was practically moved into the place even before the pair got married. they share clothes and make up and music and often go on dates together when takhou is busy. although she can teeter to the side of maternal, her relationship with sungji was far less parental than that of the siblings. their relationship is far more mutualistic, however not transactional. when the couple is having trouble conceiving, sungji is able to offer the care, love, and support that yingsu needs. she supports yingsu in her projects, often by being the subject of her photos but also by participating in whatever in person events she requests.

she has the same bright, easy-going, and inviting personality as takhou, although perhaps a bit more passionate and whimsical where he goes thoughtful and reserved. she hopes to inspire others with her art and often takes on projects to showcase topics/causes she finds important. although they aren’t blood relation, yingsu has always treated sungji like a sister and for that she is eternally grateful.

[goldgaze]

i’ll never get over the fact that sumin thought sungji would be uncomfortable with finding out she was gay and sungji is just like ma’am also a reminder that ju sungji is THAT bitch

[goldgaze]

𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 :  share five songs / pieces of music that represent your muse! repost, don’t reblog!

honey tea ,  oohyo .   it's strange, but a little sad / or some reason, my tears are so sweet / so sweet

marrow ,  vincint .  give me love / give me more love / more than i deserve / pour it in / into my bones / fill me up / till i overflow

bloom ,  troye sivan .  now it's the perfect season / yeah, let's go for it this time / we're dancing with the trees and / i've waited my whole life

remind me to forget ,  kygo .  it never fades away, it's staying / your kiss like broken glass on my skin / and all the greatest loves end in violence / it's tearing up my voice, left in silence

she is love ,  parachute .  and i lost my faith / in my darkest days. / she makes me want to believe.

[goldgaze]

which type of romanticism are you?

fresh romanticism

shrink-wrapped smiles, stolen glances, blushed cheeks: you're fresh romanticism. fresh romanticism is the essence of a new relationship, it's the excitement in discovering new things about your lover and falling in love with each and every one of them, it's the first time you notice the faded scar on their knee, the first time you eat their favourite food together. you can be a bit naïve at times, but as they say, ignorance is bliss... isn't it? you have a distinct lust for life and are eager to love. fresh romanticism isn't as juvenile a concept as it may seem at first; after all, every relationship is new at some point. remember to slow down a bit at times, but never lose that spark and excitement for love you so clearly carry around.  " i was missing you before we even met " - d.j.

[goldgaze]

  @redemptioninterlude for (x) :  apple blossom

apple blossom :   how does your muse go about expressing or not expressing their sexuality ?  

the world is chaos and the world of romance and dating, sex and seduction is no different. it's a scary beast, one sungji has yet to conquer, despite valiant effort. she is barefaced in her adoration, wearing her want plainly, pining so palpable the earth trembles and the sky shakes. she sees beauty and light, finding desire and interest, a curious thing. she minds little of who and cares not for who knows, she is brazen in her romance- although few would assume so, how many know her wants? desires? who could name a past lover? she has been confessed to dozens of times, men and women alike, and her answer remains the same. seemingly aloof, yes she plays that part well. not for fear of being found but for lack of interest in elucidating anyone who does not matter. she cares little for explaining herself to those not involved and less for labels- helpful in part and harmful all the same as people try to force her into neat, well-defined boxes her body and affection are far too broad for. to the outside world it may seem she does not feel, does not want, does not love. sungji, decidedly feeling and wanting, loves quietly and softly, boldly and loudly. she is brash in her yearning, audacious in her longing. she loves with her entire heart for what else is it for if not to be used in it's entirety? a broken heart fairs better than a casual one.

[goldgaze]

𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵 𝙺𝙽𝙾𝚆𝙻𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙴 𝚀𝚄𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙰𝚁𝙴

AUTHORITY .       You are good at making decisions; you have a clear sense of what needs to be done and what others should be doing. Played out inside yourself, this tendency drives you to value willpower & self-control. You may be accused of bossiness. But acting on your desire to dissuade, restrain or guide is often appreciated by others – who might secretly like a clear direction, & some firmness.

SHYNESS .      Part of you is gripped by the fear that you’ll launch into something & completely mess it up. The upside of this is wise caution: people are indeed often too rash, whereas you know, by instinct, that holding back can save you. Probably, you feel shame & self-disgust a bit too much. But when you do feel in your element, you act with a wisdom & sensitivity never found in people with thicker skins.

SENSITIVITY .       You have delicate, sensitive perceptions; you can be deeply moved by appearances – the right light in a room, or good food, or the texture of a piece of clothing. Expressive, intelligent language has a powerful hold on you; your mind works better when it is inspired & provoked by vivid imagery. It can be sad to live in a world which is often so ugly & not properly looked after. But you know that things can be otherwise, & you have the ability to appreciate the world at its best.

ORDERLINESS .      You love it when everything is neat & tidy: when there is a proper way of doing things, & you can tick things off the to-do list & know where everything is. So others, at times, are to you unbearably sloppy & messy. & you run into things that can’t be ordered ( a child, a partner, a colleague at work ) which drives you slightly nuts. But your desire for order is a good one when it is focussed where it is needed & when you’re okay with a bit of mess.

[goldgaze]

  @jyargal for (x) :  begonia and poppy! <33

begonia :   how cautious is your muse ?   are they prone to noticing red flags ,   or paranoid to the point of untrusting most everyone ?   why or why not ?  

there is much to fear in the world, it is a dark and devious place with ill intentions lurking around every corner. she has learned well, wide eyes absorbing more than just the outer shells so carefully crafted by others. sungji listens to the words unspoken and the calls from the beast that lie in wait beneath dutifully calculated disguise. her eyes are sharp, her mind inquisitive, and her heart protected carefully under lock in key, a sentry of her brother’s warning and remnants of past hurt standing guard against ill-treatment and misfortune. someone said red flags simply look normal through the gaze of rose-colored glasses and perhaps such precepts are true, warning signs looking as inviting as peonies and daffodils, but sungji has learned- fool me once. and she is careful, observant. paranoia does not become her, apprehension and prudence a far kinder shade. trust does not come easily, like most else it is hard-won and well earned, but once gained it is not simply shaken.

poppy :   what comforts your muse ?

soft things, sweet things. light and lofty. bright summer afternoons that warm her skin and fill her chest. cakes and cookies, confectioner's sugar and fairy floss. simple comforts: slipping into a well-worn tshirt, the sign of autumn as the leaves change, the first snowfall of winter. the sun is a friend, the moon an ally, and the stars her confidantes. the nip of a teething pup, the purr of a happy kitten, the easy smile of old friends, the buoyant laughter of youth. effortless, uncomplicated. as straightforward as she is sentimental, her comforts come just as well.

[goldgaze]

  @nouvelis for (x) :  gladiolus / lilac 

gladiolus :   describe a moment from your muse’s life that they will never forget 

its late evening and the sun has burned scars into the sky and sungji rode the bus back to the office at the ceo's request because she has something that belongs to her and she would very much like to have it returned and it was a typical tuesday afternoon and she remembers the scent of roses for no reason at all. she opens the door and the sounds greet her before the smell and the shock filters in as she sees her first love team manager beneath the ceo. she covers them, on instinct, with the first thing she can grab- her girlfriend's shirt, and she feels embarrassed for walking in on something so intimate that she has to bite back the desire to apologize as the tears dance viciously at her waterline. sung sumin tried to apologize as she's gotten herself dressed and follows sungji out into the stairwell but does she even know what she is apologizing for? sungji feels she has always loved her more, bigger, open. with her entire heart- and no, not because she has not loved another before nor that her heart has such bountiful room thanks to inexperience, but because she wanted to and she tried to and she gave her all and can sumin say the same? she does not think of them often, but apricot blossoms and rose scents cloud her thoughts and make sleep come uneasy as she whispers to the moon her wishes for them to have a peaceful life.

lilac :   what was your muse’s childhood like ?   how has their upbringing affected them as they’ve aged ? 

its exhausting, sungji recalls, the feelings of eyes on her everywhere she goes. the stares, the whispers. fear, curiosity, longing- she is less a girl and more a spectacle. she curls her fingers tightly around her brothers fingers and begs him to allow her to stay home. when she cries, he carefully wipes the tears from her features and practices a stony glare for her to toss at anyone who makes her feel uncomfortable or unwanted and when her brother was there things were solved so easily. she is kind, because that is her nature, and quiet, because she has learned that people more often speak before thinking. she has few friends, but that matters little to her because those she have matter a great deal. she has always valued simple things and she works hard to be taken seriously as her sister-in-law warned her to. perhaps not easy to trust, but open to learn, and she greets everything with a newfound wonder as inexperience paints her pink.

[goldgaze]

@wiltedstar for (x) :  bay tree

bay tree :   does your muse seek glory   &   accolades ,    or do they favour a simpler  ,    more personal life ?  

the business world is an unkind beast, built on the broken backs of those unlucky enough to find themselves under its feet. sungji has carved out her place, years spent bare-handed, shoveling through earth and soil, rubble and ruin, until her fingernails broke and knuckles bled, and she has a resume full of distinctions to show for it, a desk full of decorations. a beautiful apartment, sitting pretty and empty. a bed she greets, lonely every night. a life which, outside of the office, is lousy full of longing. she wishes for things, simple things. she pines for them. hopeful and hungering. warm coffee in the morning. the easy sun of an afternoon. lazy sundays and someone to share them with. she wants for wants, simple desires and button dreams. insignificant, some may think, paltry. but these whimsies, quiet as they may be, fill her belly and warm her heart.