#𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗞 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗦: // let me go leave me whole

[lookedinfinite]

starter call | @ensnchekov

"careful, careful. don't move too fast." worry fills her tone: careful, measured, and yet honey sweet even in its softness as she notices other slowly stirring. it's been hours since crash - her own cuts and scrapes sit wildly ignored - skin painted with drying green blood as she hops down from where she'd been working on broken equipment. science officer has done her best with his injuries, none of it life threatening despite how there's no doubt there will be plenty of pain for them both alongside what cannot be immediately dealt with. "you took quite the bump in the final crash." soft observation comes as she shifts to sit next to him, holding out bottle of water in silent offering. 

[byeloveyou]

verse summary: star trek (2009) movies

as for all characters, the altered timeline means things don't quite play out the same way that they would usually.

her origins are the same: found by section 31 when when only little, abandoned on a planet outside of federation ship, 3/4 romulan and 1/4 human mute little girl never truly stood a chance. so when she was adopted by section 31's best geneticist - mary donovan - she was too young to remember the procedures she went through to make her pass as vulcan.

starfleet had never officially encountered a romulan before... and section 31 wanted to see how one would turn out when raised by humans and vulcans.

maeve's still in her early 20s when she finds out the truth - just before vulcan is destroyed. suddenly the federation knows what romulans look like, who they are, and their cold stalemate borders on all out war.

as part of the aftermath, it suits section 31 for maeve to be openly romulan, an insult to the romulan empire to have one of their own on the wrong side. so she follows the orders she must - going from ship to ship, never staying long, trying her best to make up for how first impressions of her heritage are never good.

it doesn't matter that she was raised on vulcan, it's not a fact she advertises after all, maeve's fine letting people distrust her if it means getting to do some good her own way.

as with all verses, she's not a medical doctor, but her usual expertees of genetics, botany && entomology come in very useful.

[phdiism]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: verses (1)

[lookedinfinite]

laugh is so terribly soft, barely more than a breath - mostly drowned by gentle music. it's odd how it suits her: romulan's quiet nature, the melancholic weight that decorates the battle between her softness and her sharpness. she is clever. too clever, in fact, for most people's comfort... and yet that also tends to be where they stop paying attention to her.

why read further? pointed ears, bridged forehead beneath fringe, it doesn't matter how romulan she is because she's romulan enough. so she rarely has to worry about people assigning true, deeper labels to her.

like sad. like overly reserved. 

cold is much more appealing than 'shy'. her steps take no attention - flowing naturally like ocean's tide reaching for a shore. she knows how to dance, it's as natural to her as the science maeve takes such care to bury herself in. "terribly exciting. I fear I might never be able to look at you the same way." maeve teases when their steps bring them close enough to, though her eyes briefly flicker around room to study those making no secret of watching their interaction. "you'll have to be careful. dance with me too often and pleasant hobbies aside, you'll get labelled a menace in the making."

A FEINED GASP LEAVES his mouth as the tempo of the music shifts, drawing him and Maeve apart from each other. Their still joined by their hands, but he has to wait several seconds before he can respond.

"You know, I used to think my father's laugh was evil until I realized that was just how he laughed." A shudder rolls down the pilot's spine before he thinks of an answer to Maeve's question

"Well," he hums. "My super secret garden is a hobby. No surprise that fencing is as well, though you could classify that as work. If I have the time, I like to unwind with a cup of tea, a poetry book, or a holo. I don't do anything grand." At least not while serving on a starship. Aside from reading poetry, Hikaru isn't good at anything art related. So he isn't an inspiring artist or painter. He enjoys chess and cards but those are more recreational than hobby. "Exciting, isn't it?" he muses with a grin.

[lookedinfinite]

" walk me through what we are dealing with. " from @fasciinating

there's an unspoken tension, and yet it's nothing young woman can blame him for. a vulcan upbringing does little to balance out the romulan on her features. so she always does her best: best to keep out of the way, to keep herself seen only when it seems entirely needed. any loss she may feel is no more than a drop in the ocean (or grain of sand in once beautiful desert) in comparison.

her feelings, her thoughts, are her own.

but she's painfully clever too, clever enough that no matter who she is... there are times she's the needed answer. "it's not affecting every gene, apparently human dna is especially susceptible. full humans. you or I, half or a quarter, will feel the effects much less so." she's not a medical doctor - but science officer, right now, is also the closest they have. "I'm getting samples from everyone with even a human great-grandparent to see how it's affecting them different, there may be a vaccine or cure to be found in what combination reacts the least to it."

[lookedinfinite]

" how do we get them to stop talking? " from @ensnchekov

she's been wondering the same:  staring at ambassadors,  blankness clinging to usually warm big eyes.  it's been... endless, in truth.  between their rants about romulans  -  their provocations,  their constant opinions. maeve has never had issues with her temper, no, quite the opposite. the more upset or on edge she is, the more logical she is. the colder brunette becomes in her efforts to protect herself. 

"if I break my leg by tripping over something, I can volunteer you to help me to medical?" 

it's - mostly - a joke. sipping on her drink if only to give herself more time before she has to talk through forced pleasant smile. "or we could take one for the team. open the airlock, be glad for a shortcut out of here."

[lookedinfinite]

" what has been done cannot be undone " from @endeavvor

it's always her eyes that give her away:  large, emotive, full of a softness that truly cannot be faked.  they don't suit her, not truly. her features have been trained from an early age to keep her emotions to herself - especially the bad ones. she is quiet and controlled, an ocean in a teacup, waiting to either be spilt or for porcelain borders to finally crack  &&  shatter.  starfleet's romulan,  despite never spending a day of her life upon home planet or around own kin.

for a moment, there's something that could almost be a ghost of a flinch. she knows the blame federation pins on her blood for the destruction of vulcan, and her sealed files certainly don't help - all there is to know about her are her many accomplishments, her rank, her intelligence. beyond that maeve keeps herself to herself, knowing better than to hope people might warm with more time.

so her eyes move back to large screen, to the stars dancing across it. "are we all responsible for the sins of our people?" maeve hums instead, voice as blank as she can keep it. there's no taking destruction back, nor would she ever try. "I didn't realise 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few' had a sibling in the form of 'the sins of the many outweigh the good of the few', but it flows nicely."

[lookedinfinite]

" how is this good news? " from @fyrewalks / kirk

patience, donovan. she knows there are times for the purely scientific - just as there are times to get to the point. brunette has never been one for too many words: quiet nature a still thing, always watching world with careful eyes. "if we know what's wrong, we know how to fix it." it's a simple reply, one that fits with her soft shrug. there was never going to be ideal news.

but, at least now, they know where they stand,

"mccoy now knows how to best support in medical, I know what to look for in my work." she's sure kirk would be happier if this were something less dependent on her expertees. "so not good news, but not dreadful either. vaguely convenient." 

[lookedinfinite]

@endeavvor | continued from here

it's rare for her to comment, to offer her opinion on anything other than what the job requires. romulan is a shy thing after all - well hidden in her shell,  watching universe with big eyes and far too many smarts.  if there's one thing that she excels at, even beyond her projects and her success in too many fields...

maeve knows people, knows how to read them.

"I didn't think you would." her lips curve ever so slightly, pink and cherry sweet, genuine amusement lacking any sign that she speaks with judgement.

it's probably what makes him a good captain, his inability to be anyone other than him.

"so take it as a challenge." maeve shrugs again, hair as always shielding most of her features as she ducks head down to read something on her padd, smoothing blue dress-uniform. "there's no harm in not knowing, there's harm in acceptance of not knowing."

[lookedinfinite]

" i thought it would be more pleasing to engage with you socially " from @tuhmira

romulan is quiet, terribly so, yet she has been her entire life.  she's heard what people think of it: the malice they believe to be in what are actually shy actions, the way they nothing of her or her upbringing.  she'd been raised vulcan after all  -  a lie that lingers in her core, that exhausts her. a quarter vulcan, a quarter human. neither is enough to cancel out the half that gave her pointed ears, the subtle ridges hidden by fringe, the anxious fiddling with the straw that had been in her drink.

"I don't think I've heard it described as 'pleasing' before."

it borders on dry joke, lacking in any sharpness, simply the slight distance of practiced self-defence. "I saw you compete once. you're very talented."

[lookedinfinite]

starter call | @stainedpast

she's not sure if he was warned:  somehow, she doubts it. section 31 is far too spiteful to want either of them prepared - she's been gone just over a month, one minute on ship, one minute pulled for 'urgent mission'. they were so pleased with his actions after all, the proof in loyalty when it came to putting romulan in their firing line despite how she'd believed them to be friends. (she had cared so very deeply. and maybe the naive part of her still does.)

they're happy with him…  and still entirely furious with her.

in the days since her return to ship she's so much quieter, not just back into previous shy shell but now thoroughly barricaded within it. keeping away from all those who had worked their way into her affections - still unsure if to mention anything of what happened. yet big eyes don't leave the scanner in her hands, all too aware it's just them for miles on alien planet, listening to his movements. "not planning on shooting me with that, are you?"

[lookedinfinite]

"  wait, where are we going?  " from @meaningful-negativity / leo

if they stay much longer, maeve is moderately certain things are going to end badly. she knows man well - well enough to know when his temper is only being restrained because kirk asked - well enough that she knows when even that is cracking under pressure. touch on his sleeve is gentle, guiding all the same, through back of hall and to summer kissed gardens. fresh air, brunette can hope, will give him a moment or two to breathe.

"captain said to gently remove you if you were about to cause a political incident." her smile is soft, apologetic as she shrugs. there's only so much any of them can tolerate - no matter how easily she or spock fool worlds into thinking it bounces off their skins. "breathe, take a moment to enjoy the suns."

[lookedinfinite]

" is this really how you see yourself? " from @meaningful-negativity / mccoy

maeve's always been so good at it: at keeping her emotions from the surface, at swallowing back the bad so people don't see what hurts, what gets a reaction. years on vulcan as a child taught her control - or, at least it takes credit. perhaps it's in her nature to keep herself to herself, to never take up more room than she needs. she speaking too comes when maeve truly has something she wishes to share, beyond her watching, her studying world.

but his words get a flinch that she can't quite hide, doe eyes still on the drink she's getting herself, ignoring room or how ambassador's snide comment about romulans still echoes even in the noise. she's used to it. used to how people react to her. "maybe I just don't see it as worth the argument." she shifts on long legs, smoothing blue dress uniform with a hand. "I've heard it all before. people need someone to blame." and, if there's a little sadness to her tone, maeve has no intention of admitting it.

[lookedinfinite]

@he1msman | continued from here

little noise was barely hidden scoff, a slip up, a display of amusement before she put in the effort to hide it again. she had never labelled herself a rebel - or anything at all. there was never an urge to break rules: just to learn, to understand, strong moral code far more driving for her than any kind of expectations. (it was hardly her fault, was it? how she never belonged to any of the worlds she lived within.)

"I'm not letting go, that's not in my nature." she drily replied - a half joke, half observation. "I'm just deciding to watch and see how it ends all up."

[lookedinfinite]

@he1msman | continued from here

trouble is a constant for them. how could it not be? the types of personalities that seek out the unknown aren't exactly known for doing well with nothingness, and for all their varied reasons, they like to be challenged. maeve leaves him to his work - to his efforts to fix. he's sure he can do it and maeve has no desire to push or try to take over: he says he can do it, and maeve is happy to have faith in him. eyes on her screens, continuing to scan and go over results if only to have something to busy her anxious fingers with. 

it's hot, yet nothing compared to a childhood on vulcan, she's survived plenty. 

her movements are quick when his voice finally comes with instruction, darting to press the right things in the right order. quiet air is filled with low hum, with the brightening and dimming of lights as systems stutter and struggle to try and come to life.

"almost!" she calls back, for once going to the effort of making her voice louder than usual hum to make sure he can hear her properly. "it's all flickering on and off."

[lookedinfinite]

" Do I need to change? " from @ensnchekov

something about question makes her falter, throat tight. over her life she's been changed so many times - torn apart and sewn back together - until even she isn't entirely sure what her original shape was. there's so many kinds of loss: but maeve is almost numb to how the loss of self has long since made a home at the very core of her. she changes on the daily, a tide forever reaching for a beach, trying desperately to find anything resembling permanence.

pavel isn't like her though, not really, he's sweet. he's good. he's so very human sometimes it breaks her heart. they're both too clever  &&  too young for their own goods, both things the universe is rarely forgiving of.

so it takes a sharp swallow - forcing herself to be more her human blood than her upbringing. "I'm going to need a little more context, pav." her voice is so soft, gentle as she moves, going to sit next to him. "talk to me. do you mean in general? or do you mean into something other than uniform? because I'm starting to doubt anyone around here owns non-primary colour clothing."