#𝗦𝗧𝗔𝗥 𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗞 𝗠𝗢𝗩𝗜𝗘𝗦: // let me go leave me whole

[lookedinfinite]

" how is this good news? " from @fyrewalks / kirk

patience, donovan. she knows there are times for the purely scientific - just as there are times to get to the point. brunette has never been one for too many words: quiet nature a still thing, always watching world with careful eyes. "if we know what's wrong, we know how to fix it." it's a simple reply, one that fits with her soft shrug. there was never going to be ideal news.

but, at least now, they know where they stand,

"mccoy now knows how to best support in medical, I know what to look for in my work." she's sure kirk would be happier if this were something less dependent on her expertees. "so not good news, but not dreadful either. vaguely convenient." 

[byeloveyou]

verse summary: star trek (2009) movies

as for all characters, the altered timeline means things don't quite play out the same way that they would usually.

her origins are the same: found by section 31 when when only little, abandoned on a planet outside of federation ship, 3/4 romulan and 1/4 human mute little girl never truly stood a chance. so when she was adopted by section 31's best geneticist - mary donovan - she was too young to remember the procedures she went through to make her pass as vulcan.

starfleet had never officially encountered a romulan before... and section 31 wanted to see how one would turn out when raised by humans and vulcans.

maeve's still in her early 20s when she finds out the truth - just before vulcan is destroyed. suddenly the federation knows what romulans look like, who they are, and their cold stalemate borders on all out war.

as part of the aftermath, it suits section 31 for maeve to be openly romulan, an insult to the romulan empire to have one of their own on the wrong side. so she follows the orders she must - going from ship to ship, never staying long, trying her best to make up for how first impressions of her heritage are never good.

it doesn't matter that she was raised on vulcan, it's not a fact she advertises after all, maeve's fine letting people distrust her if it means getting to do some good her own way.

as with all verses, she's not a medical doctor, but her usual expertees of genetics, botany && entomology come in very useful.

[phdiism]

𝗙𝗜𝗟𝗘: // tag dump: verses (1)

[lookedinfinite]

laugh is so terribly soft, barely more than a breath - mostly drowned by gentle music. it's odd how it suits her: romulan's quiet nature, the melancholic weight that decorates the battle between her softness and her sharpness. she is clever. too clever, in fact, for most people's comfort... and yet that also tends to be where they stop paying attention to her.

why read further? pointed ears, bridged forehead beneath fringe, it doesn't matter how romulan she is because she's romulan enough. so she rarely has to worry about people assigning true, deeper labels to her.

like sad. like overly reserved. 

cold is much more appealing than 'shy'. her steps take no attention - flowing naturally like ocean's tide reaching for a shore. she knows how to dance, it's as natural to her as the science maeve takes such care to bury herself in. "terribly exciting. I fear I might never be able to look at you the same way." maeve teases when their steps bring them close enough to, though her eyes briefly flicker around room to study those making no secret of watching their interaction. "you'll have to be careful. dance with me too often and pleasant hobbies aside, you'll get labelled a menace in the making."

A FEINED GASP LEAVES his mouth as the tempo of the music shifts, drawing him and Maeve apart from each other. Their still joined by their hands, but he has to wait several seconds before he can respond.

"You know, I used to think my father's laugh was evil until I realized that was just how he laughed." A shudder rolls down the pilot's spine before he thinks of an answer to Maeve's question

"Well," he hums. "My super secret garden is a hobby. No surprise that fencing is as well, though you could classify that as work. If I have the time, I like to unwind with a cup of tea, a poetry book, or a holo. I don't do anything grand." At least not while serving on a starship. Aside from reading poetry, Hikaru isn't good at anything art related. So he isn't an inspiring artist or painter. He enjoys chess and cards but those are more recreational than hobby. "Exciting, isn't it?" he muses with a grin.

[lookedinfinite]

starter call | @ensnchekov

"careful, careful. don't move too fast." worry fills her tone: careful, measured, and yet honey sweet even in its softness as she notices other slowly stirring. it's been hours since crash - her own cuts and scrapes sit wildly ignored - skin painted with drying green blood as she hops down from where she'd been working on broken equipment. science officer has done her best with his injuries, none of it life threatening despite how there's no doubt there will be plenty of pain for them both alongside what cannot be immediately dealt with. "you took quite the bump in the final crash." soft observation comes as she shifts to sit next to him, holding out bottle of water in silent offering. 

[lookedinfinite]

" The decision's mine. If there are any decisions to be made, I'll make them. " from @darehearts

in truth, romulan is entirely exhausted. tired of bouncing between ships like a boomerang without an origin point, tired of proving herself a hundred times only to have to start over. and - most of all - she is so terribly tired of own inability to be what people want her to be no matter how hard she might try. if this is a game of tug of war... she's frayed rope. even when maeve works out how to open up in her own way: who would believe romulan that she is what she seems?

he hardly has a good background with section 31, extra points against her. yet there's a soft sigh on her lips, eyes still lowered on screens, barely biting back the urge to flinch at how familiar this argument is. romulans are after power. that's the starfleet opinion, that's the heavy reputation. "the decision is entirely yours. I have no desire to try my hand at politics or command." her voice is soft, lacking in offence, lacking in anything that will make her too easily read. yet it's her careful treading through words that shows how she's back within shell, "I simply kept things calm until you could get here. no deciding, just delaying. I apologise if I overstepped."

[lookedinfinite]

how does your muse react to emotional manipulation ?

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐙𝐎𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐂 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 .

honestly? she sees it from a mile away. maeve has been through so much in her life - and over and over, her existence has been about being what others wanted. her feelings have always come second to what people wanted her to be, who they wanted her to play.

it's in her nature to keep her emotions very firmly to herself. the more quiet she is, the more pain or upset she is.

people in her life have only ever cared about her feelings when they could weaponise them.

bobby was the best at emotionally manipulating her because he saw her damage. he knew she believed it was a necessary part of being loved. she always knew he was doing it, but others told her it was in her head, that he was out of her league so she should be grateful.

profiler maeve will often play along with it. she'll let people see her as weak, or emotional, or whatever they've decided she is. if it's for the good of a case? she'll tolerate it. ( think that scene in avengers where natasha is manipulating loki. )

but regular maeve? it's very circumstance based. she's always aware though because it's so rare for anyone to really pay attention to her emotions.

in her star trek verse, it's a constant part of existing. section 31 use her emotions, her traumas and fears, to keep her somewhat under their thumb. whilst it's never enough to do anything that goes against her morals... it is enough to make her risk herself far more than is logical. she doesn't view herself as worth saving.

[lookedinfinite]

" walk me through what we are dealing with. " from @fasciinating

there's an unspoken tension, and yet it's nothing young woman can blame him for. a vulcan upbringing does little to balance out the romulan on her features. so she always does her best: best to keep out of the way, to keep herself seen only when it seems entirely needed. any loss she may feel is no more than a drop in the ocean (or grain of sand in once beautiful desert) in comparison.

her feelings, her thoughts, are her own.

but she's painfully clever too, clever enough that no matter who she is... there are times she's the needed answer. "it's not affecting every gene, apparently human dna is especially susceptible. full humans. you or I, half or a quarter, will feel the effects much less so." she's not a medical doctor - but science officer, right now, is also the closest they have. "I'm getting samples from everyone with even a human great-grandparent to see how it's affecting them different, there may be a vaccine or cure to be found in what combination reacts the least to it."

[lookedinfinite]

" how do we get them to stop talking? " from @ensnchekov

she's been wondering the same:  staring at ambassadors,  blankness clinging to usually warm big eyes.  it's been... endless, in truth.  between their rants about romulans  -  their provocations,  their constant opinions. maeve has never had issues with her temper, no, quite the opposite. the more upset or on edge she is, the more logical she is. the colder brunette becomes in her efforts to protect herself. 

"if I break my leg by tripping over something, I can volunteer you to help me to medical?" 

it's - mostly - a joke. sipping on her drink if only to give herself more time before she has to talk through forced pleasant smile. "or we could take one for the team. open the airlock, be glad for a shortcut out of here."

[lookedinfinite]

" what has been done cannot be undone " from @endeavvor

it's always her eyes that give her away:  large, emotive, full of a softness that truly cannot be faked.  they don't suit her, not truly. her features have been trained from an early age to keep her emotions to herself - especially the bad ones. she is quiet and controlled, an ocean in a teacup, waiting to either be spilt or for porcelain borders to finally crack  &&  shatter.  starfleet's romulan,  despite never spending a day of her life upon home planet or around own kin.

for a moment, there's something that could almost be a ghost of a flinch. she knows the blame federation pins on her blood for the destruction of vulcan, and her sealed files certainly don't help - all there is to know about her are her many accomplishments, her rank, her intelligence. beyond that maeve keeps herself to herself, knowing better than to hope people might warm with more time.

so her eyes move back to large screen, to the stars dancing across it. "are we all responsible for the sins of our people?" maeve hums instead, voice as blank as she can keep it. there's no taking destruction back, nor would she ever try. "I didn't realise 'the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few' had a sibling in the form of 'the sins of the many outweigh the good of the few', but it flows nicely."

[lookedinfinite]

@endeavvor | continued from here

it's rare for her to comment, to offer her opinion on anything other than what the job requires. romulan is a shy thing after all - well hidden in her shell,  watching universe with big eyes and far too many smarts.  if there's one thing that she excels at, even beyond her projects and her success in too many fields...

maeve knows people, knows how to read them.

"I didn't think you would." her lips curve ever so slightly, pink and cherry sweet, genuine amusement lacking any sign that she speaks with judgement.

it's probably what makes him a good captain, his inability to be anyone other than him.

"so take it as a challenge." maeve shrugs again, hair as always shielding most of her features as she ducks head down to read something on her padd, smoothing blue dress-uniform. "there's no harm in not knowing, there's harm in acceptance of not knowing."

[lookedinfinite]

" i thought it would be more pleasing to engage with you socially " from @tuhmira

romulan is quiet, terribly so, yet she has been her entire life.  she's heard what people think of it: the malice they believe to be in what are actually shy actions, the way they nothing of her or her upbringing.  she'd been raised vulcan after all  -  a lie that lingers in her core, that exhausts her. a quarter vulcan, a quarter human. neither is enough to cancel out the half that gave her pointed ears, the subtle ridges hidden by fringe, the anxious fiddling with the straw that had been in her drink.

"I don't think I've heard it described as 'pleasing' before."

it borders on dry joke, lacking in any sharpness, simply the slight distance of practiced self-defence. "I saw you compete once. you're very talented."

[lookedinfinite]

starter call | @stainedpast

she's not sure if he was warned:  somehow, she doubts it. section 31 is far too spiteful to want either of them prepared - she's been gone just over a month, one minute on ship, one minute pulled for 'urgent mission'. they were so pleased with his actions after all, the proof in loyalty when it came to putting romulan in their firing line despite how she'd believed them to be friends. (she had cared so very deeply. and maybe the naive part of her still does.)

they're happy with him…  and still entirely furious with her.

in the days since her return to ship she's so much quieter, not just back into previous shy shell but now thoroughly barricaded within it. keeping away from all those who had worked their way into her affections - still unsure if to mention anything of what happened. yet big eyes don't leave the scanner in her hands, all too aware it's just them for miles on alien planet, listening to his movements. "not planning on shooting me with that, are you?"

[lookedinfinite]

" what’s the matter with me ? " from @darehearts

there's never malice to her actions: in truth, she probably wouldn't know how to be malicious if she tried. distant, sure. easily misread, also sure. but never cruel. so she winches for him as she gently dabs the cut on side of his head, worry not as well hidden as she'd like. "you took a pretty nasty hit." romulan comments softly - as if she's not also littered in cuts, green blood staining her.

shuttle is... broken, badly, but they're both alive, and she'll count anything as a win. "I've sent word to the others that we got caught up in the storm. I don't know if it's getting through, none of the equipment is working great. so there's nothing for you to get up and fuss over until this is actually clean." it's as close to insistence as she gets, voice low and firm. "I think you're concussed. I tried scanning you, but it couldn't get 'human' right so I don't really trust the other readings."

[lookedinfinite]

" the best defence is a strong offense, and I intend to start offending right now. " from @darehearts

well, that's not great. but then again - maeve does her very best to keep to herself, to keep a distinct line between her work and who she is, the thoughts she has about worlds and stars and politics. but she's always watching: curious eyes always noting other's behaviours, studying them. learning who they are - the things that make them tick. her eyebrows rise all the same, a reply in itself no matter how guarded she might usually try to be.

he knows what he's doing. maeve doesn't wish to argue, or to debate his methods - he has plenty of people for that. "I hadn't heard of protocol provocation." dry joke comes from her, head tilting like earth puppy figuring out a puzzle. "is there a reason this calls for an under the skin approach?" 

[lookedinfinite]

" oh, so now you can tell me ? " from @lovedunexpectedly / t'mira

there's something about own doe eyes, a mix of carefully built walls and a battle she doesn't really have words for. maeve loathes lying: avoids it at all costs. yet she also has never been described as forthcoming, always so frugal with her words, with anything that isn't about her work. brunette is a mix of things - and too often, a contradiction. full of good intentions... but stuck shielding herself from universe as if there's something to hide.

"it's not that I didn't want to." there's a hint of softness to her voice - a plea for other to understand when even she can't fully explain it. she was ordered not to, yet that rarely stops her if she thinks it's the right thing to do. "you know what romulans are like. we do so adore our secrets." a dry joke, as if either of them truly - deeply - believe that might ever apply to situation. "I'm sorry. really. I did what I thought was best."