#š–‹š–Žš–‘š–Šš–‰ š–šš–“š–‰š–Šš–— *Ė– āŠ¹ talks ā•² nelly .
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jawbrkrs Ā· 4 months ago
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starter for @invcntions
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š­š”š¢š¬ š°ššš¬ š©š«šØš›ššš›š„š² š­š”šž š„ššš¬š­ š©š„šššœšž š­š”šžš² š§šžšžššžš š­šØ š›šžĀ  ,Ā  especiallyĀ  afterĀ  theirĀ  sixthĀ  shotĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  night.Ā  thick,Ā  blackĀ  docĀ  MartensĀ  carriedĀ  themĀ  asĀ  ifĀ  guidedĀ  byĀ  unseenĀ  stringsĀ  ,Ā  straightĀ  toĀ  theĀ  doorĀ  ofĀ  aĀ  pastĀ  theyĀ  hadĀ  buriedĀ  deepĀ  inĀ  theĀ  catacombsĀ  ofĀ  theirĀ  minds.Ā withĀ  aĀ  quickĀ  knockĀ  ,Ā  theyĀ  rockedĀ  backĀ  andĀ  forthĀ  onĀ  theirĀ  toesĀ  ,Ā  waitingĀ  toĀ  seeĀ  theĀ  oneĀ  faceĀ  thatĀ  couldĀ  causeĀ  aĀ  stutterĀ  inĀ  theĀ  rhythmĀ  ofĀ  theirĀ  heart.Ā  "Ā  heyĀ  ā€”Ā  IĀ  uhĀ  ,Ā  IĀ  dontĀ  reallyĀ  knowĀ  whyĀ  imĀ  hereĀ  rightĀ  nowĀ  .Ā  "Ā  nervousĀ  smileĀ  plasteredĀ  onĀ  theirĀ  faceĀ  ,Ā  feelingĀ  likeĀ  theyĀ  wereĀ  inĀ  highschoolĀ  again.Ā  "Ā  seeingĀ  youĀ  tonightĀ  ,Ā  reallyĀ  fuckedĀ  meĀ  upĀ  ifĀ  imĀ  beingĀ  honestĀ  ā€”Ā  andĀ  imĀ  ,Ā  imĀ  justĀ  ramblingĀ  now.Ā  "Ā  clumsyĀ  wordsĀ  spewedĀ  fromĀ  theirĀ  mouthĀ  ,Ā  asĀ  sheĀ  scratchedĀ  theĀ  backĀ  ofĀ  hearĀ  headĀ  .Ā  "Ā  canĀ  IĀ  --Ā  canĀ  IĀ  comeĀ  inĀ  ?Ā  "Ā  yepĀ  ,Ā  sheĀ  hadĀ  quicklyĀ  comeĀ  toĀ  theĀ  conclusionĀ  thisĀ  wasĀ  downĀ  rightĀ  theĀ  stupidestĀ  thingĀ  theyĀ  hadĀ  everĀ  doneĀ  .
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jawbrkrs Ā· 10 months ago
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"Ā  sureĀ  youĀ  don'tĀ  wantĀ  aĀ  hitĀ  ?Ā  promiseĀ  ,Ā  it'llĀ  relaxĀ  you...Ā  " | @sakurapizza
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jawbrkrs Ā· 10 months ago
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"Ā  godĀ  ,Ā  canĀ  youĀ  justĀ  beĀ  honestĀ  withĀ  meĀ  forĀ  onceĀ  ?Ā  friendsĀ  don'tĀ  lookĀ  atĀ  eachĀ  otherĀ  theĀ  wayĀ  weĀ  do.Ā  admitĀ  it .Ā  " | @moonvvrites
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jawbrkrs Ā· 1 year ago
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based on this.
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" do you want me back? " it wasn't a hard question but they knew the answer, wouldn't be as direct as they hoped. | @silverspringed
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jawbrkrs Ā· 5 months ago
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š²šžššš«š¬ ššš©ššš«š­ ššš§š š§šžš„š„š² šœšØš®š„š š¬š­š¢š„š„ š«šžššš š”šžš« š„š¢š¤šž šš š›šØšØš¤Ā  ,Ā  everyĀ  emotionĀ  etchedĀ  inĀ  theĀ  marginsĀ  .Ā  timeĀ  shouldĀ  haveĀ  beenĀ  aĀ  balmĀ  ,Ā  renderingĀ  memoriesĀ  intoĀ  soft-edgedĀ  relicsĀ  ,Ā  butĀ  someĀ  lovesĀ  areĀ  likeĀ  inkĀ  onĀ  skinā€”impossibleĀ  toĀ  eraseĀ  .Ā Ā  "Ā  yeahĀ  ,Ā  looksĀ  likeĀ  itĀ  .Ā  "Ā  sheĀ  murmured,Ā  herĀ  smileĀ  waveringĀ  ,Ā  aĀ  fragileĀ  maskĀ  slippingĀ  inĀ  theĀ  faceĀ  ofĀ  vulnerabilityĀ  .Ā  howĀ  hadĀ  sheĀ  endedĀ  upĀ  hereĀ  ,Ā  tangledĀ  inĀ  theĀ  webĀ  ofĀ  pastĀ  andĀ  presentĀ  ?Ā  afterĀ  theirĀ  break-upĀ  ,Ā  movingĀ  onĀ  hadĀ  seemedĀ  likeĀ  aĀ  dreamĀ  sheĀ  couldĀ  neverĀ  quiteĀ  graspĀ  .Ā  butĀ  lifeĀ  hasĀ  aĀ  wayĀ  ofĀ  pullingĀ  youĀ  forwardĀ  ,Ā  evenĀ  whenĀ  yourĀ  heartĀ  isĀ  shackledĀ  toĀ  theĀ  pastĀ  .Ā  sheĀ  hadĀ  noĀ  choiceĀ  ,Ā  reallyĀ  .Ā  itĀ  becameĀ  clearĀ  theĀ  otherĀ  wasn'tĀ  comingĀ  backĀ  .Ā  "Ā  toĀ  beĀ  honestĀ  ,Ā  itĀ  justĀ  kindĀ  ofĀ  happenedĀ  .Ā  "Ā  wordsĀ  likeĀ  pebblesĀ  tossedĀ  intoĀ  aĀ  stillĀ  pondĀ  ,Ā  causingĀ  ripplesĀ  butĀ  offeringĀ  noĀ  clarity.Ā  notĀ  exactlyĀ  comfortingĀ  ,Ā  especiallyĀ  withĀ  aĀ  weddingĀ  loomingĀ  onĀ  theĀ  horizonĀ  .Ā  theyĀ  satĀ  inĀ  theĀ  pregnantĀ  silence,Ā  theĀ  airĀ  thickĀ  withĀ  unspokenĀ  words,Ā  untilĀ  theĀ  questionĀ  slicedĀ  through,Ā  sharpĀ  asĀ  aĀ  scalpelĀ  .Ā  "Ā  yeahĀ  ,Ā  IĀ  do.Ā  "Ā  sheĀ  finallyĀ  answersĀ  afterĀ  aĀ  beat.Ā  drawingĀ  inĀ  aĀ  deepĀ  breathĀ  ,Ā  theĀ  tasteĀ  ofĀ  nicotineĀ  minglingĀ  withĀ  theĀ  crispĀ  airĀ  ,Ā  aĀ  bittersweetĀ  cocktailĀ  ofĀ  pastĀ  habitsĀ  andĀ  presentĀ  realities.Ā  butĀ  thereĀ  wasĀ  aĀ  differenceĀ  betweenĀ  beingĀ  inĀ  loveĀ  ,Ā  andĀ  lovingĀ  someone.Ā  sheĀ  justĀ  didn'tĀ  thinkĀ  theĀ  otherĀ  deservedĀ  toĀ  knowĀ  thatĀ  justĀ  yetĀ  .Ā  "Ā  whyĀ  doesĀ  thatĀ  matterĀ  though ?Ā  "
@jawbrkrs
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the smile plastered on her face when she had seen the other was fake. cat knew that nelly would know it was fake as swell. cat had always been trash at being fake with the other girl. seeing how they had spent so many years dating it wasnt like she could really hide anything from nelly.. even now. though when she had heard the other was getting married she felt like she could puke. all she wanted to do was run away. get as far away as she could. she lit her cigarette nervously as she took a seat in the lounge chair. she took a puff and blew out.
the fake smile stayed plastered to her lips. "so.. you are getting married huh?" she asked the other doing her best to keep her shit together. "i had heard you had moved on.. i just didnt realize that things had gotten so serious between the two of you." or at least she had wanted it not to. he biggest regret was how the two of them had split. she knew she needed to let nelly go... but as she looked at them right now it was so hard.
"do you love her?" she asked taking another hit off her cigarette trying to steady her breathing and her hand. "do you love her?" she asked a little louder looking up at them.
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jawbrkrs Ā· 6 months ago
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"Ā  what'sĀ  wrongĀ  ?Ā  youĀ  afraidĀ  yourĀ  friendsĀ  willĀ  findĀ  outĀ  aboutĀ  meĀ  ?Ā  "Ā  š›šžš¢š§š  š”šžš« šš¢š«š­š² š„š¢š­š­š„šž š¬šžšœš«šžš­Ā  ,Ā  ordinarilyĀ  wouldn'tĀ  haveĀ  beenĀ  aĀ  matterĀ  ofĀ  concernĀ  ,Ā  untilĀ  feelingsĀ  becameĀ  aĀ  partĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  question ā€”Ā  complicatingĀ  thingsĀ  pastĀ  noĀ  return .Ā  "Ā  orĀ  youĀ  wereĀ  afraidĀ  yourĀ  littleĀ  boyĀ  toyĀ  wouldĀ  findĀ  outĀ  ? which one is it ?Ā  "
a closed starter for @jawbrkrs featuring mitzi.
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"you're supposed to call and warn me before you show up here."
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jawbrkrs Ā· 1 year ago
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suddenly, a slow breathe hitched in their throat. the tone of her voice sending a shiver down their spine. slowly bare feet moved forward, a nervous form displayed before her. " i ā€” im not too good on the top anyways. " they tried to joke to calm their nerves, looking down at what were now clammy hands.
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"in what world would that be an insult?" an eyebrow raised further as the other woman took a step closer. bold, this one, through and through. but she enjoyed that side of people. or the demure kind. she was a take on all comers type. "it was more of a comment and double checking a confirmation. my costar before was a 'top' so it meant i took more of it, but i seriously doubted you were the type. plus i prefer the top anyway. come on then. get closer."
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jawbrkrs Ā· 1 year ago
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LIQUOR coursed through their veins, only fueling what seemed to be their third fight this week. a ritual of some sorts at this point. " if you want to leave so fucking bad, the door is right there. " sounded easy enough, and yet neither one of them would budge. what was the hold they had on each other? " you expect me to be a different person? you knew who i was when you signed up for this, so spare me the speech madison. "
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eyes peering over at the other in the room - another day, another fight. it seemed like there was no end, not to the endless fights and arguments. madison couldnā€™t even remember the last time they were able to talk without an empty tequila bottle laying around on the ground. placing her glass down as she let out a trembling, big sigh.Ā ā€˜ā€™itā€™s a fucking cliche.ā€™ā€™ words finally coming out of her mouth after minutes of silence. sitting up straight, almost as if she had to prepare for round two of their argument.Ā ā€˜ā€™i keep pushing you away and away, telling myself youā€™re no good for me.ā€™ā€™ darkened brown eyes zooming in on the other - fixated on them now.Ā ā€˜ā€™it all comes down to that - knowing youā€™re no good for me. but, god. only a monster can fall in love with a monster.ā€™ā€™ / @hclysinsā€‹
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jawbrkrs Ā· 10 months ago
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š§šžš„š„š² ššØšžš¬š§'š­ šššš«šž š¦šØšÆšž Ā , ššš„š„šØš°š¢š§š  š­š”šž šØš­š”šžš« š š¢š«š„ š­šØ š­ššš¤šž š­š”šž š©šžš§ š°š¢š­š” šžššš¬šž.Ā  ifĀ  sheĀ  wasĀ  goingĀ  toĀ  beĀ  highĀ  ,Ā  sheĀ  wouldĀ  enjoyĀ  itĀ  moreĀ  ifĀ  theyĀ  weren't alone in the clouds.Ā  "Ā  hmmĀ  ,Ā  iĀ  feelĀ  likeĀ  imĀ  corruptingĀ  you.Ā  "theĀ  languid,Ā  honeyedĀ  tonesĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  voiceĀ  betrayedĀ  noĀ  hintĀ  ofĀ  remorseĀ  ,Ā  justĀ  anĀ  observationĀ  sheĀ  wasĀ  tooĀ  eagerĀ  toĀ  pointĀ  out.Ā  eyesĀ  glazedĀ  withĀ  intoxication,Ā  drinkingĀ  inĀ  theĀ  sightĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  otherĀ  .Ā  savoringĀ  everyĀ  detailĀ  withĀ  feverishĀ  delight.Ā  "Ā  you'reĀ  notĀ  gonnaĀ  runĀ  awayĀ  fromĀ  meĀ  right ?Ā  "Ā  handĀ  adornedĀ  withĀ  ink,Ā  sheĀ  reachedĀ  forĀ  theĀ  penĀ  onceĀ  more,Ā  drawingĀ  itĀ  towardĀ  herĀ  lips. atmosphere fit for a snake and its prey.
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"well, obviously i want a hit." lennon reached over immediately, snatching the pen from the other girls fingers, "what kind of dumbass question is that?" but even as she was practically scolding, her lips pulled into a wide smile.
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jawbrkrs Ā· 1 year ago
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of course when life seemed to be on the right track. . . fate had a twisted sense of humor , reminding them nothing was ever certain . for one ā€” they had kicked the nicotine habit to the curb months ago , but the ghost from her past made the allure of the old vice irresistible. ā€œ first flight out huh ? so you werenā€™t going to call and let me know you were in town ? ā€ there was a sting, a subtle jab to their ego, though they couldn't quite pinpoint why. an awkward silence stretched between them , the crisp night air amplifying the frosty atmosphere. ā€œ oh uh , yeah. ā€ usually nelly was one to show off the gold band but not tonight. . ā€œ we havenā€™t set a date yet, you know still trying to figure out the kinks. ā€ we they imagine the party tonight , the thought of seeing her ex and talking about their engagement was not on the agenda. . . yet here they were. ā€œ probably a small ā€¦ intimate , affair. ā€ they would definitely need another shot after this conversation. ā€œ how uh, are you though ? ā€ what they were really itching to ask were are you single or engaged too ?
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Catalina knew that she should have been happy for the other.Ā Ā If anyone deserved a happy life it was Nelly and yet here Cat stood at this party sour at how cheery the couple was. Everyone seem to approve of the relationship though and loved the others partner. Got Cat had wished she just would have stayed him. This truly must have been what her hell would have felt like if it was real. However when she had found out the other two was getting married that had did it for her. She was done, she needed to get out of there.Ā Ā The room felt like it was getting smaller, she was getting hotter and she just simply couldnt breath.Ā Ā Cat made her way through the crowd as she pushed the backdoor open and settled on the patio.Ā 
Anxiously trying to get her cigarette lighter to light. Her eyes moved to see the other join them on the patio. It was hard to stand there right in front of Nelly. So many memories had flooded, not just the bad. There hadnt been that much bad actually. A small frown took her lips when Nelly asked if that was how they were going to greet them. ā€œThanksā€¦ sorry.ā€ She muttered as she took the lighter and lit her own cigarette. She couldnt take a puff fast enough needed the nicotine to calm her a little. She handed over the lighter andĀ Ā shrugged. ā€œJust a couple days.. probably get the first flight out on Saturday.ā€ She admitted wishing she could go now as her nerves grew.Ā ā€œyouā€™re engaged?ā€
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jawbrkrs Ā· 13 days ago
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š’ƒš’–š’•Ā  š’Šš’•Ā  š’˜š’‚š’”š’'š’•Ā  fineĀ  .Ā  ItĀ  wasĀ  likeĀ  tryingĀ  toĀ  paintĀ  overĀ  aĀ  crackĀ  inĀ  theĀ  wall,Ā  pretendingĀ  itĀ  wasn'tĀ  there,Ā  evenĀ  thoughĀ  itĀ  was.Ā Ā  sheĀ  didn'tĀ  deserveĀ  thatĀ  ,Ā  andĀ  deepĀ  downĀ  nellyĀ  knewĀ  thisĀ  placeĀ  wasĀ  onlyĀ  aĀ  webĀ  ofĀ  regretsĀ  theyĀ  shouldĀ  couldn'tĀ  helpĀ  butĀ  weaveĀ  herselfĀ  intoĀ  .Ā  sheĀ  glancedĀ  downĀ  atĀ  herĀ  skinĀ  ,Ā  twistingĀ  herĀ  armĀ  toĀ  revealĀ  theĀ  vinesĀ  ofĀ  inkĀ  thatĀ  woundĀ  itsĀ  wayĀ  overĀ  herĀ  fleshĀ  .Ā  "Ā  thanksā€”"Ā  sheĀ  startedĀ  ,Ā  voiceĀ  aĀ  whisperĀ  ,Ā  likeĀ  theĀ  firstĀ  hesitantĀ  notesĀ  ofĀ  aĀ  songĀ  .Ā  sheĀ  wantedĀ  toĀ  sayĀ  moreĀ  ,Ā  toĀ  tellĀ  herĀ  sheĀ  wasĀ  theĀ  bravestĀ  personĀ  sheĀ  hadĀ  everĀ  knownĀ  ,Ā  butĀ  theĀ  wordsĀ  crumbledĀ  toĀ  ashĀ  beforeĀ  theyĀ  couldĀ  leaveĀ  herĀ  tongueĀ  .Ā Ā  ofĀ  courseĀ  sheĀ  canĀ  sitĀ  downĀ  andĀ  takeĀ  hoursĀ  ofĀ  needlesĀ  jabbingĀ  intoĀ  herĀ  armĀ  ,Ā  butĀ  speakingĀ  herĀ  heartĀ  toĀ  theĀ  girlĀ  standingĀ  beforeĀ  herĀ  feltĀ  likeĀ  freeĀ  fallingĀ  intoĀ  aĀ  darkĀ  holeĀ  .Ā  exceptĀ  herĀ  nextĀ  setĀ  ofĀ  wordsĀ  ,Ā  leavesĀ  themĀ  withoutĀ  anĀ  escapeĀ  .Ā  "Ā  itsĀ  okayĀ  ā€”Ā  butĀ  toĀ  beĀ  honestĀ  IĀ  ...Ā  it'sĀ  neverĀ  feltĀ  likeĀ  homeĀ  .Ā  "Ā  Ā beingĀ  nearĀ  herĀ  wasĀ  likeĀ  steppingĀ  intoĀ  aĀ  worldĀ  whereĀ  somethingĀ  vitalĀ  wasĀ  alwaysĀ  absentĀ  ,Ā  andĀ  nowĀ  sheĀ  knewĀ  whyĀ  .Ā  "Ā  "I'veĀ  alwaysĀ  feltĀ  likeĀ  somethingĀ  ,Ā  someoneĀ  wasĀ  missingĀ  .Ā  "Ā  wordsĀ  wereĀ  aĀ  keyĀ  turningĀ  aĀ  lockĀ  ,Ā  toĀ  aĀ  doorĀ  ofĀ  vulnerabilityĀ  sheĀ  thoughtĀ  sheĀ  lockedĀ  upĀ  aĀ  longĀ  timeĀ  agoĀ  .
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brown locks shake gently at the suggestion her night might have been ruined, seeing nelly was never going to be easy, yet sasha knew even now she wouldn't turn it down for anything ā€” certainly not yet another party with the same people she saw all the time. ā€œ it's fine. ā€ she reassures quickly, honest smile pulling to her features as she tries to push away the rise of nerves each time her gaze meets the familiar eyes. ā€œ oh they're definitely artistic. ā€ agreement falls lightly, unable to help moving a little closer to nelly for a better look at the way the ink decorates their skin. ā€œ honestly, they're beautiful. it's just that no one here's brave enough to do it. ā€ but it suits her in a way that makes so much sense with the nelly she'd always known, feels right even if it is a new addition to her ex. ā€œ god, she'd love that. she'll have you on youtube on repeat, it'll be unbearable. ā€ a gentle laugh falls from her own lips as eyes roll, pretending for a moment that the conversation between them can be normal, though it fades all too quickly at the words which follow. ā€œ uh, no ā€” not really. you know this place, there's not exactly anyone here for me anymore. just ex-cheerleaders and girls who want to be young moms in their teslas. anyone cool left a long time ago. ā€ the words intend to joke and yet the lightness feels forced, as if there's a part of sasha not quite able to remember why she hadn't done too. ā€œ it's nothing like LA, all the models and actresses, i bet everyone's fascinating. ā€
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jawbrkrs Ā· 25 days ago
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š®š¬š®ššš„š„š²Ā  š­š”šžš¢š«Ā  šœšØš§šŸš¢ššžš§šœšžĀ  wasĀ  boilingĀ  overĀ  ,Ā  aĀ  touchĀ  ofĀ  arroganceĀ  evenĀ  whenĀ  itĀ  countedĀ  ,Ā  butĀ  rightĀ  nowĀ  itĀ  wasĀ  hardĀ  toĀ  evenĀ  pullĀ  theirĀ  eyesĀ  upĀ  fromĀ  theĀ  floorĀ  .Ā  shouldersĀ  slumpedĀ  withĀ  aĀ  vulnerabilityĀ  thatĀ  beliedĀ  theirĀ  typicalĀ  allureĀ  .Ā  "Ā  IĀ  guessĀ  ,Ā  IĀ  justĀ  didn'tĀ  ā€”Ā  wantĀ  toĀ  ruinĀ  yourĀ  nightĀ  orĀ  anythingĀ  likeĀ  thatĀ  .Ā  "Ā admittedĀ  ,Ā  wordsĀ  tumblingĀ  outĀ  withĀ  aĀ  hesitanceĀ  thatĀ  wasĀ  soĀ  uncharacteristicĀ  ofĀ  themĀ  .Ā  nellyĀ  couldn'tĀ  blameĀ  herĀ  ifĀ  sheĀ  actuallyĀ  didn'tĀ  wantĀ  toĀ  speakĀ  toĀ  herĀ  .Ā  allĀ  thisĀ  timeĀ  andĀ  noĀ  phoneĀ  callĀ  fromĀ  herĀ  endĀ  .Ā  yeahĀ  ,Ā  sheĀ  wasĀ  actuallyĀ  theĀ  worstĀ  .Ā  "Ā Ā  IĀ  wentĀ  aĀ  littleĀ  crazyĀ  outĀ  thereĀ  .Ā  tooĀ  muchĀ  freedomĀ  myĀ  dadĀ  saidĀ  ,Ā  butĀ  IĀ  thinkĀ  they'reĀ  moreĀ  artisticĀ  thanĀ  anythingĀ  .Ā  "Ā  eachĀ  traceĀ  ofĀ  inkĀ  blazedĀ  onĀ  herĀ  skinĀ  wasĀ  importantĀ  toĀ  herĀ  .Ā  someĀ  signifyingĀ  importantĀ  thingsĀ  inĀ  herĀ  lifeĀ  .Ā  "Ā  reallyĀ  ?Ā  IĀ  mightĀ  haveĀ  toĀ  addĀ  aĀ  songĀ  justĀ  forĀ  herĀ  inĀ  myĀ  nextĀ  setĀ  .Ā  "Ā  softĀ  smileĀ  erruptsĀ  ,Ā  asĀ  theyĀ  watchĀ  fromĀ  behindĀ  ,Ā  gratefulĀ  thatĀ  somethingsĀ  stillĀ  stayedĀ  theĀ  sameĀ  .Ā  "Ā  IĀ  mean,Ā  LA'sĀ  theĀ  dream,Ā  rightĀ  ?Ā  iĀ  getĀ  toĀ  playĀ  atĀ  someĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  craziestĀ  clubsĀ  andĀ  partiesĀ  ,Ā  meetingĀ  celebĀ  afterĀ  celeb.Ā  iĀ  shouldn'tĀ  complainĀ  ,Ā  yeahĀ  ?Ā  "Ā  noneĀ  ofĀ  itĀ  hadĀ  everĀ  feltĀ  trulyĀ  rightĀ  withoutĀ  sashaĀ  byĀ  herĀ  side,Ā  butĀ  theirĀ  prideĀ  keptĀ  buriedĀ  ,Ā  festeringĀ  beneathĀ  theĀ  surfaceĀ  .Ā  "Ā  whatĀ  aboutĀ  youĀ  ?Ā  youĀ  seeingĀ  anyoneĀ  ?Ā  "Ā  theĀ  questionĀ  slippedĀ  outĀ  beforeĀ  sheĀ  couldĀ  stopĀ  iĀ  t,Ā  aĀ  dangerousĀ  curiosityĀ  thatĀ  couldĀ  getĀ  themĀ  caughtĀ  upĀ  .
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ā€œ ah, so you did see me ā€” somewhere amongst the lack of eye contact and fact i didn't see you at all after, i thought maybe you hadn't. ā€ words tease softly, any forced suggestion of ease on her features surely countered by the complete lack of filter to the words. nelly had always managed to cause that, their presence a guarantee of the complete incoherence that seemed to follow. ā€œ no stress, i would have hidden too ā€” i, uh, did, actually. ā€ she jokes lightly, brown eyes unable to help glancing over her ex as she took off her jacket and for a moment it's a reminder of just how much has changed. how much nelly might have changed. even if being around them still felt like the most natural thing sasha had done in a long time. ā€œ you look great, by the way ā€” i mean, those do. ā€ her head nods softly in the direction of the tattoos, attention forced away in favour of moving to fix them both a drink. ā€œ things have been alright. probably nothing compared to what you've been up to. my mom still asks about you, all the time actually, i think you might be her claim to fame. ā€ smile pulls to her lips as she glances quickly over her shoulder at nelly, grateful for the momentary distraction of focusing on the glasses. ā€œ how've things been with you? ā€
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jawbrkrs Ā· 3 months ago
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faceĀ  toĀ  faceĀ  withĀ  herĀ  againĀ  ,Ā  madeĀ  themĀ  realizeĀ  justĀ  howĀ  easilyĀ  sheĀ  couldĀ  alwaysĀ  makeĀ  herĀ  forgetĀ  aboutĀ  theĀ  restĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  world.Ā  theirĀ  eyesĀ  metĀ  ,Ā  andĀ  inĀ  thatĀ  moment,Ā  theĀ  worldĀ  outsideĀ  couldĀ  haveĀ  beenĀ  burningĀ  ,Ā  andĀ  nellyĀ  wouldn'tĀ  haveĀ  noticedĀ  .Ā  "Ā  thanks.Ā  "Ā  smallĀ  murmurĀ  rushesĀ  pastĀ  tequilaĀ  drenchedĀ  lips.Ā  thisĀ  smallĀ  townĀ  alwaysĀ  feltĀ  likeĀ  aĀ  suffocatingĀ  cageĀ  ,Ā  squeezingĀ  everyĀ  ounceĀ  ofĀ  creativityĀ  untilĀ  onlyĀ  ashesĀ  remainedĀ  .Ā  noĀ  oneĀ  deservedĀ  toĀ  beĀ  trappedĀ  hereĀ  ,Ā  leastĀ  ofĀ  allĀ  herĀ  .Ā  "Ā  IĀ  didn'tĀ  meanĀ  toĀ  bargeĀ  inĀ  ā€”Ā  IĀ  justĀ  sawĀ  youĀ  atĀ  thatĀ  partyĀ  tonightĀ  ,Ā  andĀ  it'sĀ  beenĀ  aĀ  reallyĀ  longĀ  timeĀ  sinceĀ  we'veĀ  seenĀ  eachĀ  otherĀ  .Ā  "Ā  Ā normallyĀ  ,Ā  sheĀ  woreĀ  herĀ  coolĀ  demeanorĀ  likeĀ  armorĀ  ,Ā Ā  butĀ  nowĀ  wordsĀ  spewedĀ  outĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  mouthĀ  withoutĀ  aĀ  filterĀ  .Ā  "Ā  ohĀ  noĀ  ā€”Ā  noĀ  imĀ  okayĀ  .Ā  "Ā  aĀ  lie.Ā  sheĀ  wasĀ  barelyĀ  holdingĀ  itĀ  togetherĀ  .Ā  "Ā  wellĀ  maybeĀ  ,Ā  aĀ  drinkĀ  mightĀ  helpĀ  .Ā  "Ā  sheĀ  gaveĀ  inĀ  ,Ā  sheddingĀ  herĀ  leatherĀ  jacketĀ  likeĀ  aĀ  snakeĀ  sheddingĀ  itsĀ  skinĀ  ,Ā  revealingĀ  newĀ  tattoosĀ  thatĀ  mappedĀ  outĀ  theĀ  storiesĀ  ofĀ  herĀ  timeĀ  awayĀ  .Ā  theyĀ  hadĀ  alwaysĀ  beenĀ  aĀ  creativeĀ  soulĀ  ,Ā  drawnĀ  toĀ  designĀ  ,Ā  butĀ  sheĀ  hadĀ  toĀ  admitā€”theĀ  numbingĀ  kissĀ  ofĀ  theĀ  needleĀ  hadĀ  becomeĀ  anĀ  addictiveĀ . " how ? uh , how have things been ? "
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it's embarrassing, the way her lips curve up to a smile the instant brown eyes rest on nelly ā€” that even now, when the sight of the other splinters the parts of her heart that never actually healed, for a brief second sasha feels like a teenager with a crush. ā€œ yeah, i ā€” yeah, of course you can. ā€ she shakes herself quickly out of it, moving aside to offer nelly the chance to come in before she's able to consider just what a bad idea that actually is. ā€œ well, i uh ā€” i would have skipped town for your visit, if i... had any idea it was happening. ā€ words attempt to joke lightly, as if there's not a trace of hurt about that fact buried somewhere deep within them. ā€œ anyway, you know us townies, we're always around. used to tell you i'd never get out this place. ā€ even if it was normally with the prefix of just how badly she wanted to. nelly was always going to be the one who really made it. sasha was proud of them for that, grateful for the way it allowed her keep up with her life from a distance. ā€œ you want anything? water, food, a drink? ā€ god knows she could do with one.
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jawbrkrs Ā· 1 year ago
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these parties were always the same, with the same faces. the only saving grace was the potent combination of tequila and lime, their pre-game ritual to make these events pass by in a blur. the hand intertwined with theirs added an extra layer of excitement. from the moment they first met, the two of them had become inseparable, and now, especially so, since the other woman had popped the big question resulting in the silver band on their finger. people had their doubts, considering their age but nelly learned a while ago that you don't let something precious slip between your fingers. and fate was playing a wicked game ā€” unless that something good decided to slip back up... there she was. they practically chocked on their drink watching the familiar figure walk across the room. " yeah ā€” im fine. " she mumbled, trying to laugh it off as their fianceĆ© asked if they were okay. " im ā€” uh going to go to the bathroom really quick. to clean up ā€” " the lie esacped to easily, and they weren't even sure why, but instinctively their body followed after hers. she slowly opened the sliding door, anticipation causing a slight shake of their fingers. " is that the hello i get? " even her voice could still cause the hairs on the back of their neck stand up. without a word they simply handed over their lighter, before lighting her own cigarette. a cherry red glow, as nicotine began to course through their blood. " how long are you in town? " she took a drag from the cigarette, allowing nerves and smoke to escape from their lips in tandem.
@hclysins
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catalina wondered what the fuck she had done wrong over the years to deserve this? it had been years since she had seen the other and she was finally moving on with her life. then there they were- hand in hand with someone else. cat couldnā€™t help but just stare, she had felt disgusted at how truly happy the other had made them. once upon a time it was cat who had made them smile and laugh like that.. now another woman took her place. it was tough to watch but cat had tried her best to pretend as if it hadnt ate away at her.Ā Ā 
instantly she regretted agreeing to come to this birthday bash her friend was having. it felt like a bunch of old people visiting each other anyways. it had been very lowkey and all cat wanted to do was leave and have a drink, or get high, anything really that would take the the sickness in her stomach away. her ride was still visiting and having a good time asides they had been there half an hour there was no way her sister would leave right now. so she was stuck, she might not have been able to go but she could avoid the other. slipping out the back door to the patio she had to have a smoke. pushing the cigarette between her lips she struck her lighter a few times but got nothing.Ā Ā ā€œgod could this night get any worse!ā€ she murmured and just like that the back door opened. her eyes panned around to see them standing there. ā€œof course youre out here.ā€ she pointed out, ā€œif youā€™re going to come out here and bother me then do you at least have a lighter?ā€Ā Ā it probably wasnt the nicest thing cat could have said especially since it had been years- but it certainly wasnt the worst.Ā Ā 
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jawbrkrs Ā· 1 year ago
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nelly was usually always FOCUSED on her music, so caught up in perfecting her sound that she rarely strayed to do anything else, except with zaneta called. she though about her question for a moment, before relaxed shoulders shrugged. " why not ? it would add to my rockstar image.. big bottom energy? is that suppose to be an insult or ā€” " already moving in her direction.
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"eh. people like revolving casts, not just the same faces and bodies over and over. it's good to have a small group to pull from," zaneta looked back to see nelly's reaction and then sighed. it wasn't surprising that that was her reaction. she had been in the video and knew it was less than salvageable. "oh. yeah? you think? you want to be fucked on camera? i figured you'd be fucked. you're giving big bottom energy at all times to me."
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jawbrkrs Ā· 1 year ago
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" I still don't understand why you waste your time with these random guys. " nelly moved to look over her shoulder, a small grimace gracing their face. " yeah .. buddy already looked like he wound't last ten seconds. the stills yes, but the footage is a no go. " watching the man struggle to keep it up, earned an eyeroll from chocolate orbs. then .. a thought. " unless ... there's still time and I fill in? "
open to: everyone plot: zaneta [she/her, top/switch] is fairly annoyed that her new video did not come out as intended. your muse [roommate, fwb, (step) sibling, etc.] has a chance to fill in
please do not like my starters made with beta; can switch to legacy
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"remind me to, next time, if i need someone for the camera, to have you come over. the guy from the messages? the one promising so much? he lasted all of forty-three seconds and had no bounce back," zaneta sighed as she looked up from the raw footage on her phone to the other and then back down again. "maybe i can sell the stills of me? he's not worth it though."
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