#𝔼ℕ𝕋𝕀𝕋𝕐𝟚。⌜ოყรէﻨƈ աﻨรժօო⌟ 𝕚𝕚 ⌆ s;musings

[hcreandthcre]

𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐?

𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐞     𝕚 ⌅     "i wish i could say i am a light that never goes out, but i flicker from time to time." // oh, little one, you have burned for so quietly for so long, haven't you? burnt yourself out trying to give others light? wishing, desperately, that they would notice the way your hands shake or the wildflower bruises under your tired eyes. but they never have, have they? and so, it obviously wasn't bad? right? you had more to give, didn't you? how much could you pour yourself out before they noticed? it is all you've ever known, after all. help, help, help, help. (are you providing it, or begging for it?) but you've given too much, spread yourself too thin, didn't you? you are so heavy, so tired. you have spent your life carrying for others the way you wished someone would care for you. but you're worried, aren't you? that if you can't be what they need, if you can't be the pillar for others to lean on, they'll leave you. what you seek is home, a safe place to rest and be taken care of. and little light, you deserve it. you have earned it. you are worth more than what you can provide for others: you deserve the same care you so freely give out. they will love you all the same, honey. set down the world, and rest that weary heart of yours

𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐩𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞     𝕚𝕚 ⌆     "i look in the mirror and don't recognize the face staring back." // oh, little songbird, when did you stop singing? why do you let yourself fade into the background, so sure you're not worth seeing? who convinced you that you are nothing but empty air? for as long as you can remember, you've screamed at the sky to be noticed, to be seen, but that never quite worked, did it? so you accepted your role. you learned to bite your tongue, to watch, to fade away. it's easier that way, isn't it? better quiet than ignored. at least this way, you have some control over the situation. but it stings, doesn't it? the more you quiet yourself, the more you force yourself to fade away, the harder it is to reach you. you're losing yourself...and that terrifies you, doesn't it? what you seek is acceptance, to be seen and loved and listened to. and, little ghost, you deserve it. you are worth knowing. i see you. now let others do the same. step into the sunlight and sing, little one. i believe in you.

[hcreandthcre]

𝚠𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚍 𝚘𝚏?

𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐬     𝕚𝕚 ⌆     You are not a river god, not a trickster spirit of malice and rage and great throes of abundance. You are the god of the river's children and her progenitors, an ecosystem of your own. Along the beds of your domain, life flourishes in great bursts and starts, and animals are birthed and succumb beside your waters. Your beds are made of thick, stinking clay muds and clinging grey sands, and you are essential. The river brings the waters to the place, and you distribute them to pasture cows and mushrooms and deer and children. You are peace and sweetness and a coaxing hand.

𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠     𝕚 ⌅     You are the god of things coming together, a fiber to a thread to a yarn to a tapestry. You are sturdy hands that pick and thread and weave and complete, of Penelope at her loom. You are the guiding hand of the sheep shearer, the rough pull of carding, the pull of the spinning wheel and the crushing of dyes. You are persistence and care, a million steps and movements well practiced among years of mastery.

[hcreandthcre]

𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍?

𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬     𝕚𝕚 ⌆     you are so lonely. you are miserable in your solitude. you hate that you cannot bring yourself to reach out, to ask for help. you will be forgotten by all who never knew you. your biggest fear is that you will die alone, and you know this fear will be seen to fruition. you refuse to extend yourself beyond the box that others put you in. and it is a box that no one dare come near. you are lonely because you are afraid of yourself.

𝐫𝐮𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐲     𝕚 ⌅     you cant bring yourself to care. you hate that you cant feel what you used to be able to feel. you hate that you cant be happy. you hate that you cant bring yourself to actually hate. your apathy has swallowed you and immersed you in a well of nothingness. you cant feel what you cant forget. you cant see what you close your eyes to. you choose to feel nothing, and you have lost everything because of it.

[hcreandthcre]

𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎 𝚍𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚘 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚗 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚎𝚢𝚎𝚜?

𝐠𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐭     𝕚𝕚 ⌆     true love is dead, and you're buried with them. you look in the mirror the day after the funeral to see your own eyes missing, face nothing but a blurred canvas. why aren't you surprised? every inch of you feels badly pieced together, mistakenly glued in some sort of rush. your brain and body never seem to agree. do either of them belong to you anymore?

𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐮𝐦     𝕚 ⌅     why does death's bell still continue to toll for you, sweet immortal child? you aren't alone in your heart, you know. somewhere on the other side, the other you is fighting just as hard as you are -- put down your gun. you're safe with your friends. travel in numbers and come back before the clock strikes one. make sure to polish your shoes, they've gotten scuffed from all that climbing.