#𝔧𝔲𝔫𝔬 𝔠𝔬𝔰𝔢𝔱𝔱𝔢 ⸻ ft. charlie clayton

[saccharineflesh]

You think that there's a you and Zoa? That you're different? The words made their head tilt to the left, as Juno wondered exactly what Charlie was on about. There wasn’t a Juno and Zoa. There was Juno and then there was Zoa and together they made something… Juno couldn’t quite understand, nor did they try too hard to figure out, but as far as Charlie was concerned the answer should have been an easy enough one to provide.

No. 

Simple and easy as that, but they wondered just how much Charlie would hate for Juno to not clarify it all. If they simply refused to answer the question all together, would it drive them crazy? Would they snap? 

An unnatural smile found its way to Juno’s features, and they let it rest. They had gained more intel on Zoa and Charlie in the little time they’ve shared then, than in the years Juno had wondered. The realization that this entire moment could be fueled by a single childish emotion such as jealousy made it easier for them to understand Charlie. “You lack attention.” Juno stated, doing their very best to settle the shivers that rocked through their body as the wind picked up around them. “And my interest.” They went on to continue, pushing their hair over their shoulder as they turned away from Charlie.

It started with a familiar burning on the back of her neck and she reached behind to sooth it with her hand only to find the heat there fresh, stinging. Underneath the pads of her finger were new wet ridges and it made Charlie hold her breath. Her fingers traced the shape of a warped hole and carefully she began to pull apart the flaking skin there. In her ears, deafening flames tore through everything. Metal and smoke tinged her tongue, filled her lungs, paralyzed her. With two hands she pulled apart the injury at the back of her neck, felt her skin crumbling away like ash. She brought her finger to her face, saw sooth covered fingers mired in blood. Juno laughed at her then. The kind of laugh that sounded like a record player at the wrong speed. Everything was on fire.

And then she blinked, and it was quiet and none of that had happened. She was still standing in front of Juno, smug face staring at her. Instinctively, she brought one hand to trace the now smooth skin at the top of her spine. What the fuck.

"You think..." she started, surprising even herself with the uncertainty in which words left her mouth. Her tongue felt dry and she swallowed before continuing. "You think that there's a you and Zoa? That you're different? She's only interested in you because you're a new thing for her to play with. Once she gets bored of you, she'll drop you."

Charlie adjusted as the girl moved, wondered how much longer she'd subject herself to the uncomfortableness of this conversation. An angry laugh crossed her lips. "I've given up on going home," she seethed, "at least I know what's real." At least I think I do?

[saccharineflesh]

They watched with utmost curiosity and fascination as the emotions traveled through Charlie’s features. Juno could have sworn in the moment that the other’s body temperature had risen beyond the possible and they wondered which part of their dialogue had brought the rise in her. Did hearing herself be called dumb make Charlie’s control slip like a slimy fish through wet hands? Was it the fact that Juno spoke them? Would hearing the words come from Zoa gain a different reaction? They weren’t sure, and most importantly than all of those questions, Juno wanted to see just how much control Charlie allowed herself to lose over simple words. 

Juno didn’t bother commenting on what they knew about the two women, because no amount of clarification from their end would make sense in Charlie’s eyes. No amount of closeness or bond shared between Zoa and Juno would ever be seen as real and genuine. If they were being honest, Juno themself was unsure of what lied there. How in so little time, they could gain a new perspective on what it meant to be alone and how they weren’t sure if that was an option for them anymore.

“Because there’s nothing to know. There is no Zoa and you, Charlie.” Juno corrected, barely catching themselves before they fell back into the water. The sudden move made their chest rise with surprise, and adrenaline entered their system. They could understand the answer a little more, then. Had Juno lost Zoa, they could have seen themselves react in a similar manner. Albeit less dramatic and weak as Charlie looked now, but the sentiment was understood. “Not sure if there ever really was, although I know how much you town folks enjoy living in pretend scenerios.” It was laughable really. Juno adjusted their footing, and shifted away from the dock’s edge. “Think it’ll get you home sooner?”

Charlie had come here to peaceful catch some fish, and yeah, she wasn't the best fisherman so the true purpose of this trip had been to get some distance from spaces that reminded her so much of Zoa. It was suffocating how much, after six years, Zoa consumed nearly every part of her body. She was choking on the fumes of Zoa's destruction and there was apparently nowhere, nowhere, in this goddamn town she could seem to escape it.

The hands at her side balled into tight fists and she stepped into Juno's space. Their words were like cutting into poorly healed scars. For a moment, the rage she felt almost, almost, made her strike Juno in the face. Nine years in hell town and everyday Charlie felt herself straying further away from the humanity that had once so gently held her heart. Violence crawled and sunk into every limb until only rage remained. "You don't fucking know shit about Zoa and I," she seethed, before bringing both her hands up and shoving Juno, hard, back in the direction of the water.

"Stay the fuck away from me."

[saccharineflesh]

Despite the inconvenience of getting all their stuff soaking wet, Juno didn’t quite mind falling into the water. They had thought about it often while merely sitting on the edge of the dock staring out onto the water’s edge. Although their reasoning was slightly more off putting than a mere soak in the river. Regardless, they allowed themself to sink slightly to get a full mental image of what it all felt like. Juno had never cared for water filled places. Not pools, not jacuzzi’s, not the ocean, rivers, lakes, or even ponds. Something about them felt extremely sinister to the point that they naturally, in their state of living, kept a good distance from it all. 

They weren’t particularly scared of it, though. It was how sickeningly inviting falling to the bottom was for them. They could have easily just let go of everything and allowed their body to suffocate until their lungs were filled with water instead of air. They had read loads of affidavits where others explained the sensation of drowning. How they fought for a single breath only to be assaulted by the liquid that surrounded them. Helpless as death stared them right in the face. 

The voice Juno heard surprised them enough to allow their face to break the surface and find the source. Attached to an outstretched hand, Charlie was. Juno wondered for a moment whether to accept the help or not. To remain in the cold threatening waters or allow themselves to be touched by someone with such clear resentment for their person. A smile appeared in Juno’s head, though their features remained stoic and detached as ever, but they reached to grab the other’s hand. “Thank you.” was their response, as Juno allowed themself to be hoisted back onto the dock. 

“It was a part of my ritual, actually.” they couldn’t help themselves from engaging in the witch lore Charlie seemed to have concocted in their psyche. “I’ll inform Zoa of your cooperation.” The comment wasn’t needed, and Juno knew that, but they couldn’t help the satisfaction it brought them either. Juno had never shared words with Charlie before connecting with Zoa. Hadn’t shared words with plenty of people in the town really, but Charlie was different from the rest. Even without having asked, they could tell that something was going on between the woman and their roommate.

Back when she was a kid Charlie didn't care too much about fishing. It was a task that required patience, something she often lacked as a young kid. Being static in one place for prolonged periods of quiet, it just didn't sit right with her. But now, now she could spend hours sitting in silence at the docks, fishing rod in hand, catching trouts and whatever else the water would give her. Sometimes this meant catching and releasing smaller inedible fishes, other time she'd be fishing out shoes or hats or rocks. She'd tried driving out a fishing boat once, just to see how far she could go, if she could leave, but out in the vast waters was a thick fog that Charlie got lost in. For her, it felt like weeks had passed, each days longer than the one before. It wasn't until the fog spit her back out towards the dock that she found it she had only been gone a couple of hours. After that, Charlie never set foot on a boat again, opting instead to fish from the comfort of the docks.

There was a sign, at least Charlie thought it was a sign, as to whether or not the catch would be good that day. If she got to the docks and a stack of pebble was at the entrance, the catch for the day would be bountiful. If the pebbles were knocked over, or missing altogether, then she would be lucky to catch anything at all.

Too bad that "sign" didn't apply as to whether or not the company would be good. It wasn't that Charlie hated Juno, necessarily, but rather hated everything the other person represented. For her, the settlement was nothing short of a cult, freaks that preferred embracing supernatural nonsense, rather than ignoring all the weird shit happening around the town like Charlie did. After six years she still couldn't understand why Zoa had left her to go there.

Deciding that she wasn't going to be catching anything anyway, Charlie packed up her stuff and made to head out. As she walked past, she heard a splash from Juno's direction. She paused, turned, and felt briefly amused at the other's predicament. But when no one moved to help them Charlie briefly considered letting them flounder. The docks were high, they'd probably struggle to pull themselves out alone. Maybe they can drown. Woah. Thinking thoughts like that was new for her, and not something she wanted to make a habit of. She shook her head to clear it, set her gear down and walked to the edge of the dock.

"You know if you spent less time writing witchy woo woo stuff in your journal and actually watch where you were going instead then this could have been prevented. Here," she said as she extended her hand down to them, "let me help you out."

[saccharineflesh]

Juno’s gaze focused on the tree line as Charlie spoke. They didn’t understand exactly what Charlie thought or what information she had over whatever went on in The Settlement, but her distaste was clear. There were parts of them that made Juno want to speak out and correct the information, but then again people will believe whatever makes their perspective seem true. Witches and curses, or parties and orgies - the list of accusations Juno heard was endless. Charlie believing all of it only proved how weak minded she really was. Couldn’t think for herself and yet Zoa was being brainwashed? The entire thing was laughable but Juno merely rolled their eyes and met her gaze. 

“Zoa is smart. One of the smartest I’ve yet to meet.” Juno agreed, nodding their head with no other inclination, “Which only adds onto how dumb you really are.” A scuff left Juno’s body and they shook their head before coming to a full stance. The brainwashing didn’t really hold much weight. Zoa had been in Arcadia far longer than Juno was. By that logic - if the allegations were true - should Juno be the one being brainwashed? “It’s no wonder leaving you was so effortless.”

Try as hard as she had, there hadn't been a day that had gone by since Zoa's departure where the mention of the other person didn't get a rise out of her. She had worked so hard on being able to control her reaction to a simple name, but even that was still difficult on most days. I'll inform Zoa of your cooperation. Charlie tightened her hands at her side, let a deep breath out through her nose and felt the way her jaw clenched. As hard as she tried, it was too hard to control and with a quick movement she shoved them backwards into the water with a hard open palm.

She waited for them to resurface and then crouched down to speak to them, trying her hardest to keep the anger out of her voice. "You think I can't see what you're all doing over there with your brain washing. Zoa's smart. One day she'll wake up and notice it's all a bunch of bullshit. Wonder how cooperative she'll be then."