#𝐨𝐭𝐩: daesik x elise

[koscheimaryas]

PAMELASBDAYBASH — part five

Dear Elise Song, As much as I love watching you sleep, I can’t help but feel it is a conundrum that has ailed me much.

In a way, it is peaceful beyond measure; I’m transfixed by your steady breathing, the little sighs you let out every now and then, the sweet smell emanating from your skin. It makes me want to do nothing more than lay down with you, to drown in your stillness, to also travel to the land of dreams lulled by your presence. And while in there, to hope, violently hope that all the time I spend fantasizing about you in my awake hours will be channeled into the most wretched, undressed reveries as well.

On another note, cataloging your asleep time is something that bothers me. The reason for such admission is that, as much as I understand that you deserve some rest, I am still plagued by the tempting idea of waking you up and doing the most ungodly, ghastly things that my half-baked brain can come up with to you. Spending time with you, Elise, is a lesson in patience. As the months go by, I realize just how little of it I actually possess. They should invent a world where only you and I exist so that the people around us wouldn’t be subjected to my ire whenever desiring you reaches critical levels.

I have a feeling that, before meeting you, I’d been living life in slow mode. That isn’t simply a joke about all the weed I smoke; it is a fact. There comes a time when chasing high after high loses all sense, instead working as a substitute to something that had been missing for way too long. Turns out the one thing I’d been missing was one fun-sized girl, jealous beyond measure, too beautiful for her own good… and destined to be mine, mine, mine, all along.

It is arresting to love someone this much. It is humbling. It is a testament to the fact that I once thought I’d never deserve something this noble. You molded me into whatever it was that you needed, and I thank you deeply for it; without you, I could never achieve the proper greatness required to stand by your side. More than once I tried to let you go, for all the right and wrong reasons. Knowing that you didn’t give up on me, as much as it could be considered worrisome, is the one thing that propelled me into becoming the man that you could pridefully call yours as well. Even though I still have a long path ahead of me to prove myself truly worthy of you, there is no doubt that your steady hand will never let me stray away from this lovely, maddening road.

My sickening princess, as I jot down these chaotic thoughts, you still sleep fitfully, not a sign of distress from the constant scratching of my pen against one of the pages of a notebook of yours I found laying around. I remember with fondness how you begged and threatened me for a love letter, but it was foolish of you to do so. I have half a mind to rip this thing to pieces and never revisit it, but I muscle through an infinity of jumbled quotes and derangement in order to, once again, do whatever it is you want from me. 

You should know, Elise, just how I write love letters to you on a daily basis. The slide of my fingers against your bare skin is pure poetry; the ease with which I answer to your breathy requests is a testament to my devotion. The softness of your lips against mine is more precious than a thousand sonnets, my tongue on your pulse is the strange desire that only the most obscene, convoluted mouths could translate…

If it still isn’t clear for you, I will scribble it down as plainly as I can: I love you. I love you so much that there aren’t even words enough in my lousy vocabulary to describe just how deeply I long for you. Now and forever, I dedicate all the sincerity, all the gentleness left in me to you, only you. I could never treat you as anything else other than what you truly are: my regal girl, the most beautiful princess, made entirely, subliminally for me… 

With love and impatience, Daesik

It’s like learning a new language

As we catch up on my mind

If you don’t bring up those lonely parts

This could be a good time

It’s like learning a new language

You come here to me 

@henrystravss