#𖥸 ─ ezra threads!

[devsmuses]

ezra exhaled instinctually as kade pulled him closer to his frame and felt his body relax in the moment. his shoulders settled loosely and his jaw unclenched, something he hadn't been aware that he'd been doing. as kade began to question whether ezra was sure he'd be able to deal with the other, he looked at him in a confused manner. he'd never expected him to react in this way in this scenario; kade had always seemed so confident to him or around him. "of course i'm sure i want to be with you; it's kind of annoying how much i want to be with you. why else do you think i was jealous when you were talking about being with somebody else? we hangout a lot, i know who you are and i'm still here doing this with you." he gazed up at the taller male and brought one of his hands up to trace the other's jawline.

"Yeah, I don't think that's an option for me either." He was quiet, words careful. Kade didn't want to mess up and say the wrong thing right now. He'd already done that. How had it not been more obvious that hooking up with someone else wasn't okay? Maybe he and Ezra just messed up when they agreed they were just friends who had sex. Maybe with someone else Kade could have made that work. But with Ezra... things just got deeper than he ever expected them to. It's almost as though he can tell what Ezra wants because without saying anything Kade moves to pull the other in closer. It felt a lot better being closer to him. Tilting his head down he buried his nose in Ezra's hair, kissed the top of his head, and continued weighing his options. Was there really more than one? "Are you, uh... sure you want to be with me? I mean, I'm me. I'm messy, I'm loud, I'm... a lot of things. But I do like it when I'm with you, when it's quiet and we're just like... talking, and kissing and there's no pressure."

[devsmuses]

and just like that, the cozy little bubble away from reality they'd found themselves in had busted as jonah mentioned his girlfriend. ezra felt a pang of guilt as he thought of her and he almost felt ashamed of what had happened here tonight. his feelings still remained for his ex, but that didn't give him the right to kiss someone else's partner, and that's all jonah was right now to him, someone else's person. a soft sigh brushed past his own lips as he hesitantly looked into the other male's eyes. "i don't really know what the right thing to do is," he bit his lip for a moment before asking something he was scared to get the answer to. "do you love her?" ezra wanted to gauge how serious their relationship was. if it was a new relationship without many strings attached then that would make this situation easier, but it still wouldn't be completely right. "i don't want to feel like i've done something wrong by kissing you tonight, but you've got a girlfriend and i hate the thought of me wrecking someone else's relationship selfishly."

“There’s a slight problem.” Jonah said as he was stating the obvious. There was the fact that he wasn’t single at the moment. His girlfriend was in the next room and she wasn’t just going to disappear. Jonah had to deal with that reality if he wanted to or not. “What am I supposed to do? Just let my girlfriend down easy and tell her it’s not her, it’s me?” He asked as he didn’t know what he was supposed to do. Jonah just knew that Ezra was pulling him back into his orbit at the moment. “Things would really need to be different this time.”

[devsmuses]

in ezra's mind he hadn't been sure what their week together would look like. he knew what he'd wanted it to be like. he'd hoped to essentially play house with the other; it was probably the only opportunity they'd get to be alone together for this amount of time. their night in the hospital together had given his mind more material to be delusional with. rationally he knew the minute that night was over and the medication had no longer been clouding joel's judgement that they'd be back to their restrained behavior whilst with one another. it'd been only a few days since that night and things already felt different between them. it wasn't like anything downright bad had happened or like they'd fussed with one another; it felt more like joel was in his own little world and ezra was just there. he could chalk it up to the other not feeling well, but he had a feeling that wasn't the only reason things felt strained in this manner. he didn't want to bring it up because that would mean acknowledging it which would in turn make it real, but it also didn't feel great to let things hang in the air and cause some sort of unspoken tension between them. from where ezra sat on the end of the sofa in joel's living room, he peered over at the other and said as casually as he could "if me being around is starting to bug you, i can go. i won't be offended or anything-" that was a complete lie. "-i know we don't usually spend this much time together, so i'd get it." he didn't know what response he expected from joel, and he didn't know what kind of response he wanted form the other. this was all so confusing, and yet, he couldn't simply let the other go. it felt like they were bound to one another in some sick way seeing as they couldn't fully be together in the way they'd like, at least in the way ezra would like.

Oh, the sound of Ezra's laughter is as healing as the medication flooding his system. The sound combined with their proximity is enough to convince him that he is ready to go home. Instead, he'll relish this moment just a little bit longer as he chuckles. "I can't imagine having to worry about you like that." By now, with his eyes fully shut and his fingers still against Ezra's neck, Joel can't bring himself to care about his honesty. This moment is a privilege, and in the back of his mind, Joel knows it isn't something he can afford to get used to, so for now he will make the most of it. Despite these thoughts, Ezra's admission leaves him without a response. Luckily, he can feel the conversation drawing to an end, and though he doesn't want to spend the rest of their time merely asleep in each other's company when his feelings have been flowing so freely, Joel can already feel himself growing heavier. "Please... be here in the morning. No one should be by until later. We have 'til then, and then we'll figure the rest out." Which is easy to say right now from the comfort of their bubble. If nothing else, Joel is convinced it's enough. His eyes fall the rest of the way as he pulls the blanket closer around them. In this position, his head still resting against the other's chest, his heartbeat acts as a lullaby, and it isn't two minutes later when his own breath evens and his heart matches Ezra's as sleep finally wins.

[moondustlings]

to anyone else, being called a slut would be a negative, but to sabrina she loved it. everything he said was true; her friend was sweet, trusting, and never would suspect her boyfriend would rail her best friend at a halloween party, or that said best friend would love it as much as she did. her naivety was made this affair that much easier to have. "aren't you happy you stumbled into this pussy then?" she asked with a smirk. "i'm everything you want and then some." her tits bounced in her costume with every thrust, her ass teetering on the edge but she trusted his strong hands would keep her off the floor. "don't think i can?" she challenged back. the pair had gotten pretty wild but sabrina still felt like they were scratching the surface. while her friend got the kind boyfriend, she wanted the dirty man that could fuck like there was no tomorrow. she wanted his rawness, especially when it came to his cock. a small gasp left her lips as she felt his hand tighten around her neck, and slowly she nodded. "more," she whispered, putting her trust fully into him. "it's okay."

ezra had a happy relationship, a girlfriend that cared about him and that checked the boxes to everyone that looked at them. the two were cute together, they smiled and laughed when they were out and about, but at the end of the day there was a deep lust within ezra that simply wasn't satisfied with her. before sabrina he had mostly accepted he would just push past it and not embrace 'those' desires but as soon as he first tangled with sabrina he couldn't control them anymore and he had to have them. "she's sweet, and kind, and loving---but i need someone that can be a dirty little slut when i need her to be. someone who can talk filthy and take dick like it's her purpose on this fucking earth" there was such raw primal need in how quick he thrusted into her, as if his cock had been craving the tightness and pressure of her cunt every second since the last time he had it. there was less than a minute between when she was fully in her costume and when she was pushed into this position and his first thrust had delivered his cock deep inside of her. he groaned loudly as the pleasure hit him "you sure about that? sure you can handle being fucked that hard?" his hand reached onto her chest to grope her breast for a moment then moved to her neck, his hand didn't squeeze but he wanted her to feel that control he had on her in that moment as his hips began to pound into her.

[devsmuses]

leaving wasn't what he wanted to do. he wanted to stay and be there for sami. he wanted to prove to his friend he could be there for the bad stuff too. when ezra was too depressed to crawl out of the void that was his bed and shoot his friend's a text explaining himself, it was nice how they'd just take it upon themselves to stop by to try and force him out of his unhealthy self-isolation cycle. he thought if he tried hard enough he could be that for sam. "i don't think you're a pain in the ass," his words were completely honest and he wasn't saying them to make him feel better. ezra hadn't necessarily enjoyed being shouted at, but he'd done shit he wasn't proud of in the middle of a breakdown before. he wanted to give the other male a hug and insist to him that everything would be okay, but what if that sent him spiraling again? "we don't have to talk about this anymore. we could just hangout like we originally planned to. there's this movie i've been meaning to show you." he offered up. he hoped it didn't seem like he was trying to switch the topic and pretend none of this had occurred. he just wanted the other to know that ezra didn't intend to pry. whatever would make sami feel better was what he wanted to do. he couldn't help but worry that this stepped into the territory of 'babying' the other.

The rant that Sam had gone on was not one that he had meant to trail down. He didn't mean to come across as angry with the other. He didn't mean to shout. He was tired and shaky and really needed someone to help him...without babying him. That was hard to ask for, though. Hard to explain. Even harder to realize himself. While he knew he needed help, he also didn't want to be a burden to anyone else. His issues burdened himself enough, why bother anyone else with that shit?

Xe swallowed hard when the other mentioned leaving. Xyr lip quivered slightly and xe turned xyr head away. Xe was doing it again; pushing people away who had gotten too close, who had found xyr flaws and all the intricacies of xyr troubles. Xe didn't share that with just anyone and nobody ever stuck around in the aftermath. Why would they? Xe was great at making others feel like they were unwanted, if only for fear that they would leave xem anyway.

They shook their head, pressing their fist to their mouth. They bit down on the skin of their thumb hard to try and keep themselves together a little. It wasn't helping much, though, their eyes already wet, bloodshot.

"If that's what you wanna do, then...go," he muttered, voice cracking slightly despite his best efforts. "I don't--I mean, you- you- you can go. If that's--I'm not keeping you hostage." Another sharp crack of his voice. He cleared his throat, biting down on his thumb again, gaze shifting out the window. "I get it, you know, I'm a- I'm a pain in the ass sometimes. I'm- I'm- I'm sorry for yelling, though, tha- that wasn't...that wasn't me, I--" They swallowed hard. "Not you either. Not.. N- not you, I-- Sorry. I'm sorry."

He was a mess right now and having trouble controlling his emotions, but that didn't mean he got to treat the other like shit. He knew that, even if he was having a hard time saying it. It wasn't Ezra's fault anyway. He was trying to help. There just wasn't much anyone could do for Sami right now aside from maybe letting him fall apart. Let him cry. Let him scream. Keep him from hurting himself any further than he already had. Keep him away from the drugs, the street, the dark recesses of his own mind. He was dwindling. On the edge of insanity. And he knew it. He felt so stupid for it, but what could he ever do to end it?

"It's not you..."

[devsmuses]

you could tell just by looking at link that he wasn't in good shape right now, so as he took off in the direction of ezra's sofa the blond male followed; the last thing he wanted was for link to fall and injure himself more than he already was. "careful," the comment absentmindedly left his lips and he let out a sigh of relief once the other had found his spot and was no longer a walking fall-risk. if ezra hadn't been standing alongside the couch he probably wouldn't have heard his friend's request for a bagel. "yeah, i can get you one. just don't get up, okay?" he hesitated a moment before heading back into his kitchen to grab some water and a bagel to hopefully help sober his friend up. link's sudden arrival had been jarring, but in a way it felt nice that he'd chosen here of all places to seek refuge. he was certain link's wounds needed some tending to, but he figured that all could be handled after the other sobered up a bit; he figured it'd be easier to apply bandages when link wasn't on the verge of passing out. "alright, i have one bagel for mister link and the finest water i have on tap," he made sure his voice wasn't too intense as he re-entered the room; he didn't drink much himself, but he knew the last thing he liked when he wasn't feeling well was loud noises. ezra sat on a small free spot on the couch, making sure he wasn't in his friend's way, and placed the bagel down on the coffee table that sat in front of the sofa. "i'll grab the first-aid kit in a second. i don't wanna leave too soon and then come back to you like passed out and falling off the couch," ezra's eyes lingered on the other as he spoke to him.

it doesn't take a genius — even if link was honestly, quite literally regarded as one by academic and career peers — to clock just how worried ezra is about him, and it's difficult not to carry the guilt he's feeling about that as close to his chest as he is right now. he nods in wordless agreement to him nonetheless, accepting what he says because there's really no arguing with it; it was an apology ezra didn't want, and one he still couldn't help but put out there, caused by some life-long complex that always left him feeling like an imposition, even if being told he was explicitly not that. the other questions take him a few beats longer to answer on account of just needing to think straight enough to recognize: is he hungry? does he want water? not really to either, but they'd... probably help him sober up.

"maybe, yeah... i'm —" an onset of rapid blinking comes to him as he's trying to talk, suddenly dizzied from a mixture of the injuries he's sustained and the alcohol thinning his blood. link points to the couch and then stumbles in that direction, using his hands to guide himself along the counter of the kitchen and then push off in that direction. miraculously, he doesn't fall until he is right over the couch, only then collapsing into his side on it and grunting at the feeling of — well, everything. he feels everything. "water, yeah. and... a bagel? do you have bagels, man ?" the request comes belatedly, muffled and spoken out the corner of his mouth, but he at least lifts his face enough that it's legible.

[devsmuses]

the words 'just a regular guy' caused a soft laugh to slip past ezra's lips. "i don't think so. regular guys aren't nominated for grammys." he was trying his best to remain normal and not act like a star-struck idiot in front of the other. it'd been a while since he'd been on a first date and what a way this was to jump back in.

open to all: i’m famous but that doesnt mean much

“ you don’t need to prove anything to me. i’m just a regular guy i promise. “

[devsmuses]

ezra had been momentarily relieved to see it'd just been a dog rustling around making noise; his anxieties caused his mind to get carried away and he'd convinced himself it was someone dangerous who was gonna pop out of the woods. cautiously he held his hand out toward the dog, but before he could greet the animal he'd been hit over the head and rendered unconscious; his anxieties hadn't been unwarranted for once. the main thing ezra felt as he awoke was freezing cold. he thought he'd been cold in his little shed with his makeshift blanket, but the thought of that was heavenly compared to the position he found himself in now. the only warmth he had came from the fluffy dog from before that laid alongside him, and if his hands hadn't been tied behind his back he definitely would've been petting the dog to show his gratitude. finally, his eyes landed on the other male, seemingly the one who'd whacked him over the head and then tied him up in the cold. anyone sane would be scared in a moment like this, and that he was. his eyes danced over to where the gun was and the sight of a weapon made his blood run cold. this guy was a stranger and ezra didn't know what he was capable of. he wanted to explain that he hadn't come looking for trouble and that he wasn't the type to hurt a dog, but he knew it would come out as a nonsensical ramble and the other definitely wouldn't be enthused by that; the act might've been enough to get him knocked out again. so, he decided it was just best to answer his question. "i'm on my own," he admitted, his gaze now back on the male. "what about you? just you and rocky, or is someone else gonna come clobber me?" he hoped the other man was alone; he didn't fancy the idea of being outnumbered by people who clearly had a better grasp on this situation than he did.

jed had to take a step back and hide behind a tree upon hearing a foreign voice, they were at his campfire. the man had his shotgun ready in case everything went south, and south it went the minute his dog, a large yet dorky german shepherd, went after the stranger. "rocky, come on. shit, stupid dog." he gritted his teeth, that dog was everything to him so he couldn't have the luxury of losing him too. it was a good thing the dog had worked his magic befriending the stranger. he took no chances, some sneaky steps from the back of the young man and jabbed the butt of his shotgun against the man's head. "don't look at me, i could've shot him." he argued with the growling dog, jed would hear about it the rest of the night.

some time past midnight his dog had cuddled up to the tied up man, hands behind his back. it was after all a cold night, and jed wasn't about to give away his only coat. chewing up to the bone of his latest hunt, one of the couple of rabbits he'd caught earlier that evening. "good, you're up. you were out for long, i didn't even hit you that hard." he licked his teeth, searching for any remains of the meat before throwing the bone at his dog. "name's rocky, my dog. you're alive because he likes you, try anything on him and next thing you're getting is lead." he nodded at the gun next to him. jed wanted no part in dealing with this, and the sigh that followed showed for it. "no one's come looking for you, so they either ditched you or you're on your own. which is it?"

[devsmuses]

in a way ezra already knew it, but hearing alex say it hurt nonetheless. he paused as to fight his urge to cry and just looked over at the other. "would you love me if i were?" the question was practically rhetorical as they both surely knew the answer to it.

open too: m(21+)

who?: alex stocker, late twenties, lawyer, bisexual and in heavy denial

plot: alex is falling inlove with y/m, but your muse is a man… and alex was always told that loving a man isn’t okay.

“i wish you were a girl…” alex mumbled while looking down at his scotch glass, a somber look on his face.

[devsmuses]

if ezra had to choose between the two options kade had presented him with then he'd definitely say he was leaning more toward them continuing to sleep together and to redefine whatever they wanted to call what they'd been doing recently. "i don't think just being friends and not sleeping together is really an option for me. i don't mean that in like a controlling way, but it's so hard to just be friendly with you now when being with you, really being with you, feels the most natural to me." even in this moment he wanted to reach out and feel the other for some sort of comfort in this anxiety-inducing moment. sure, kade had said what was happening between them felt more like a relationship than a friendship, but that didn't necessarily mean he wanted to reach that level of commitment with ezra. he searched the other's frame visually for some sort of sign or inkling of what he was going to say next. somewhere along the lines of them falling asleep in one another's arms almost nightly he'd fallen head over heels for the man standing across from him. maybe if he would've realized sooner he could've caught it and stopped it from happening.

"Maybe my mistake was hooking up with someone and not telling you about it beforehand but... I dunno, it just sort of happened." Kade had left out the more telling details, about how the guy reminded him of Ezra and how it wasn't really as good as he made it out to be. It was just that Kade was better at hiding stuff than he was about being upfront. He always wants to paint a picture of himself that is better than reality. "So let's unfuck this situation... make it less confusing." His hands drop away but not because he doesn't want to touch Ezra, more so because he needs just a tiny bit of space. "We're best friends and we're doing things best friends don't typically do. I don't want to not be friends... I don't exactly want to stop doing the other things either. But, friendship first, right?" He hates every second of this. "I figure we've got two options - we stop sleeping together and just be friends or we only sleep together and, uh, redefine what's happening here..."

[devsmuses]

it'd been so long since they'd last kissed, yet it felt so familiar to ezra. you'd think he'd be out of practice, but as soon as he felt jonah's lips against his it was just like when they'd been together. one of his hands snaked up to feel the other male's hair as he moved his mouth against his. his usually rapid thoughts were nulled as they kissed. all his mind could think over and over again was jonah, jonah, jonah, jonah; like his own prayer of some sort. his heart pounded away in his chest and god, he felt like he might faint. he didn't do stuff like this; his life was dreadfully mundane for the most part. jonah made him feel alive. he made him blood pump and his heart race. if this was wrong for them to do then why did it feel so right? breathlessly he pulled away and rushed to say "i think i'm still in love with you; no, no, i am in love with you. i don't know why i said i think when i know." he'd never gotten over him, he convinced himself of that because that's what you're supposed to do when you're going through a breakup, right?

Jonah felt a mix of emotions whenever he thought about Ezra. He knew that was always going to be the case due to their history. The other man would always be the one that got away. Their lives forever tied by their joint past. Jonah had come to accept that fact so tonight would just be another night in their history. Jonah nodded his head at Ezra’s words. “You don’t need to tell me twice.” He said as he leaned in and placed his lips on the other’s. The feeling was all so familiar in a feeling that overcame his whole body.

[devsmuses]

a soft smile was brought onto ezra's face as joel mused about them potentially doing something as domestic as watching tv with one another and having takeout. he tried his best to properly toe the line between showing the other male he was interested in him and seeming unattached enough to not scare joel with how serious this truly was getting already; it was hard to remember to do so as ezra always seemed to get caught up in his feelings when they were together. he looked over at joel as he replied to his words "i promise it won't take much convincing to have me comply." deep down they both knew how special their private time together was. they had few and far between chances to spend long periods of time just together, not worrying about seeming too close or too friendly with one another. ezra paused for a moment as joel popped the precious little bubble they were in, in a sense, by dragging reality back into the picture. he shrugged his shoulders as he looked at the other male and said "it'll be worth it to me, even if it does complicate things a little bit. i can just say i'm going to see a friend for a bit or something. that's believable, right? i'm a friendly guy." truthfully he was mostly introverted and any friend of his worth seeing would probably just come visit his home, but he was mainly banking on his parents just not caring enough to ask too too many questions.

It has been long enough since they last had a quality moment that despite the pain medicine obviously wearing off, Joel can't think of anywhere else he would rather be. Who knew that all it would take for a moment together was a bad shift on the ice?

His smile is soft, eyes focused ahead. Whatever the nature of their relationship, the company is welcome, and if Ezra's reply is anything to base it off, that's something Joel gets to keep looking forward to. It's only been a few minutes since he woke up, and how spoiled he already is by having him here. "Probably. Even though, I think I'll remember about the Tylenol." Especially if this initial pain is any indication. "Everything else I'll gladly take. Maybe I can even talk you into a couple episodes of bad TV while we eat takeout." A brief pause fills the space between them as Joel diverts his gaze. "Not that I'm looking forward to rotting alone on the couch for the next week, but are you sure you won't be missed? Don't get me wrong, I'll take as much time with you as I can get," he says, and later, after the rest of the anesthesia has worn off and he is posted up in bed to heal, Joel will have plenty of time to chastise himself for his honesty. "But I don't want you to have to go out of your way to explain things if it complicates things for you..." As if things aren't already complicated enough.

[moondustlings]

the annual d'angelo halloween party was legendary, with the parties getting wilder and wilder the older the children got. this year was no different as sabrina made her way around, ever the perfect host as she made sure the guests were fed, hydrated and of course, not breaking anything of value. this year, she had matching costumes with her best friend — a dark and light fairy — and sabrina had chosen the darkside with her tight, iridescent dark dress and black fairy wings. a particular guest she had her eyes on was her best friend's boyfriend, her newest flavor of the moment. it was wrong, but he was hot and unable to keep his hands off of her. evident by how he whisked her away. "your girlfriend too pure for you?" she teased as her legs parted, her dress bunched up around her thighs. as his cock slid into her wet pussy, she groaned. the music was much too loud for her to feel like she had to be quiet. "fuck, baby, your cock feels so good." his pace was slow, allowing her to adjust and just revel in how his cock felt stretching her out. "fuck me how she doesn't let you," she hissed, knowing her friend was more vanilla than sabrina liked. there was a reason he kept searching for her over his own. "don't be gentle; i want bruises when you're done with me."

closed starter for @moondustlings based off 19b from here still accepting asks

ezra loved parties, and halloween parties simply hit different than others, he had come dressed up as a vampire which had become one of his go toes due to how easy it was to both do the costume and use it to hit on women. he hadn't known what to expect from the party but when he saw adelaide he was transfixed, she knew how to put on a costume that truly showed off every insanely divine curve on her body. he reminded himself that he was looking at someone he wasn't supposed to, she was his girlfriends best friend but he couldn't stop himself from pulling her away from everyone. he lacked no self control as he pushed her onto the table in the back room, as he lifted her leg up and perched it onto his shoulder while his other hand pushed what she was wearing out of his way to make his path to her pussy that much shorter. "you're such a sexy fucking slut" he groaned his hands tugging his cock out and his hips thrusting forward with force on the very first thrust, desperate to feel her tightness around him. His hand gripped her ankle to keep her right leg perched upward.

[devsmuses]

this conversation was uncharted territory for them so ezra hadn't known what to expect in response to his efforts to help. all ezra could do was silently sit back and just take in his friend's response. he'd said something very wrong, he knew that much. his mouth felt dry, too dry as he sat there trying to figure out what the right thing to say was. this was going to be hard for him to navigate. he hadn't been trying to baby sam by offering assistance, but he knew if he tried to explain that to them he'd just end up saying more of the wrong things and make this worse than he already had. he didn't want to leave his friend alone in this state, but maybe ezra leaving would benefit the other. as his dark haired friend expressed the want to fix his own issues on his own, ezra found himself relating to that notion. he didn't like to burden those around him with the problems that riddled his overactive mind. "i can just go if you want," he offered up. his voice was hoarse but quiet as he spoke. "i wanna be here for you, but i don't wanna keep saying shit that upsets you. i didn't mean for anything i said to come off like i thought you were incapable or that you needed my help. i just know that sometimes i need help even when i don't want help." he knew their problems weren't the same and in no way was he trying to compare, but he was just trying to help. he never claimed to be the best at being a shoulder to cry on, but he just tried his best to be there and do what he could whenever he could.

They had been bottling up feelings harder than a shaken up bottle of soda, deeper than the deepest depths of an active volcano awaiting eruption. The words had finally come out with strength, frustration, and exhaustion. And what came in response from Ezra did not help matters. The guilt the other expressed only frustrated Sami more and they shook their head slowly, pulling their hands back through their hair, roughly wiping those few stray tears from their eyes.

"I don't- I don't need your help," he emphasized with a bit of a hiss to his words. Teeth clenched, hands balling into fists and clawing at the flesh of his palms. "You' wouldn't get it..." And maybe that was true, but maybe that was also why they should be more open to explaining to Ezra better. They just didn't seem to have the energy to do so. Right now, all they wanted more than anything was to be able to relax for a few hours and not have to think. They wanted to get absolutely high out of their minds and lay on the floor, watching the ceiling spin until they inevitably puked or passed out. They wanted their head to stop hurting, their eyes to stop blurring, their body to stop trying to self-destruct every time they moved.

And then he said those wretched words "you don't have to try and do everything on your own." The hit the back of xyr skull like a semi-truck colliding with a pole going 70 down the highway. Eyes squeezing shut, they pressed their fists to their temples. Breathe. Their skin felt like it was on fire.

"I do, though..! I don't have anybody else to help me! And I don't want help anyway!! I'm perfectly capable of- of- of dealing with it...myself! I'm not a baby, you know? I'm a full-grown man. I'm twenty-six for Christ's sake! Just because my brain isn't always right and my body is falling apart doesn't mean I can't- I can't handle it m- myself!"

The fear of being babied stuck deep within the pit of Sam's stomach, making him lash out at Ezra for something he obviously hadn't intended to imply. But this was exactly why he hadn't wanted to talk about it all in the first place. He didn't know how to ask for help without fearing that somebody would look down on him or think of him as incapable in one way or another. The next words that came out, though, broken and full of tears, revealed a much deeper-rooted issue.

"I just- I just want to be able to fix it on my own."

The fact was: He couldn't do it all on his own. He couldn't fix everything by himself. His capabilities only went so far and sometimes that was much shorter a distance than he hoped. And he was drowning in his own self-destruction as a result.

[devsmuses]

ezra could smell alcohol on link but just decided not to comment on it. he wasn't the kind of person to tell others how they should or shouldn't live their lives, but that never stopped him from worrying about the path his closest friend seemed to be on. as link recounted what had occurred to cause these injuries the blond male noticed how the other was struggling to meet his gaze. was he worried he'd be judged by him? had ezra done something to make him feel that way? he swallowed thickly as his best friend called himself stupid. it hurt for someone he thought of so highly to not think of themselves in a similar light. didn't link see all the good he added to ezra and other's lives? it never really seemed like he did. if ezra was a volatile person this story would've been enough to send him back to whatever bar his pal had been at and try to find the guy who'd done this, but he never operated from a headspace of that kind. he regarded himself as more of a caregiver. someone who tried to fix everything for the people they loved. the most obvious thing he could do to help link was to patch him up with the shitty first-aid kit he kept in his kitchen junk drawer. it took him a beat or two after link had stopped speaking to actually think of what he should say in response. he was always worried about saying the wrong thing. "please don't apologize for coming here. you know i have an open door policy. let me grab my first-aid kit, and maybe some like water or something? do you want something to eat?" he was trying to cover all of the bases, food to help sober him up, the first-aid kit to keep his injuries from becoming infected, and maybe some tylenol for the headache he'd probably have soon if he didn't already.

some parts about this are wildly out of character for link — some aren't. showing up at his best friend's house unannounced, inviting himself in wordlessly, maybe being a little drunk as he does? normal. painfully normal, so painfully normal that he's singing apologies in his mind to ezra for always, always having to be the one to pick up the pieces as he whirls through the place; a sentiment that will die in his throat instead of reaching who deserved to hear it. but the blood in his mouth, the red welts on his skin, the bruises to match? that's unlike link, so terribly unlike link to be sporting such a look that the rest of him is dreadfully melancholy to take in at face value — he's all tense muscles and wobbling knees, downcast looks to the ground. see, he's never been one to fight. in fact, he's so chronically avoidant of conflict at all that the bewilderment on ezra's face is completely justified; link's more likely to apologize to get out of a situation even if he's not at fault than resorting to anything physical. tracking his friend out of the corner of his eye, he stays acutely aware that he's right beside him even as he's rustling through the freezer, hands searching for anything cold to press to his face. anything.

the insistence, gentle as it is, initially makes link flinch; evidently, he's more shaken by what'd happened than he realized. cheek tucked against his shoulder, there's hesitation before he slowly relaxes his shoulders and leans into the touch, leans into the delicate caress, gaze still stubbornly averted outside of ezra's worried, worried eyes. but he turns his head to attempt facing him, even if he still can't look at him head on. his eyes close to save some face when he swallows, thick, and starts to talk. "...went to a bar, walked into the wrong guy, spilled his drink on him accidentally. i was out of it, i guess. was... uh, fighting with my dad before i went out," he rasps, particularly struggling over the mention of his father; a subject he's only ever lightly broached with even the closest of his friends. link clears his throat, leans his hip bone on the now closed freezer door. "i'm okay, ez. just... stupid, it was stupid," he exhales with a little too much alcohol on his breath, scrubbing at his face with his free hand, wincing at how it feels. "i'm sorry for bargin' in. i didn't... didn't know where else to go."

[devsmuses]

ezra quietly pondered what excited him in his life right now. he tried to ignore the voice in his head telling him that nothing he had to say would be as exciting as what jadin had going on at the moment. with his bottom lip tucked between his teeth and a soft hum sounding from him, he finally made himself settle on something. "this is so small and silly in comparison to getting ready to tour, but i got myself a dog recently and he's really been holding my focus." the male began to pull his phone from his pocket and went into his camera roll, turning the screen toward jadin he proudly displayed the german shepard puppy. "his name is maverick," he added as a soft smile settled on his face.

was his presence that shadowy and looming, that it inspired such shyness from the other? or maybe he was overthinking it again, a tasteless habit he can't seem to shake no matter the brightness of his star. maybe it was a wrong turn to even mention it, but they were there already. " most of them aren't but, we're planning out another tour, so i had to look a little more special, than jeans and a tshirt. " as soft sigh waves away his train of thought, " but you, i want to get to know you more. what excites you right now? "