#﹙˓ 🎙 ˒﹚ᴵᶠ ʸᵒᵘʳ ᵈʳᵘⁿᵏ ᵒⁿ ˡⁱᶠᵉ ᵇᵃᵇᵉ ᴵ ᵗʰⁱⁿᵏ ⁱᵗ'ˢ ᵍʳᵉᵃᵗ. ᵛᵉʳˢᵉ

[radioaf]

"My my my Vox."

"I suppose I shouldn't be surprised considering your my number one stalker at least you can do that right."

@voxxisms

[cannideer]

A tiny step forward is taken as his brow deeps in a little V as he studies Vox’s body, not just his screen, till it clicks. He knows other body language like the scars on his skin.

He hadn’t been clear enough. 

“Breath Vox, I’m not leaving you again.” 

Never had been one to want to have someone in his space, he valued his solitude his time to not be a performer for the masses to just be but that void get awfully lonely over time. Never uttered in the past but maybe he was second place when compared to Vox’s work.

“But you still won’t trust me no matter how many times I say it will you?” 

Crimson gaze falls away to hide the hurt that settles there as his smile tightens. Would the TV star ever trust in him again? Clawing tighten around his cane skin threatening to crack from the grip. 

“I was going to suggest we spend more time together, that’s all. Forget I said anything, don’t you have a meeting this afternoon?” 

alarming panic. uncertainty and a lack of clarity painted a wildly different picture than maybe alastor meant to. past hurt, fear, all kinds of worry taking over. change things between them?

what did that mean?

❛ ... would it help to? ❜

unrelenting control over himself, even as static pools over his skin as a warning to himself. holding himself at the seams, trying not to snap at him. trying not to let the past rule the present. it was behind them now. things were different, he wasn't suggesting leaving him again, surely.

not again.

❛ do you need something different from me that i haven't been giving you? or maybe just ... something you didn't know you needed? ❜

trying to rationalise.

[radioaf]

Head slips  to side slightly, eye following the other gaze to above him there is nothing there for his eyes. Odd but this is Vox, his silly TV Man who always ended up falling victim to some kind of strange magic. It's how he reaches out for him that grabs his attention back to the screen he knows all too well and those eyes that looked lost. Lost in thoughts, that always lead to emotional turmoil for anyone if left to their thoughts for too long.

"There are beings larger than us. There are beings older than the universe itself, hell even older than god depending on what you believe in, personally I think a fear tactic use to scare us straight." He reaches out with one hand to brush his fingers down the side of his screen to offer some level of comfort; he is still bad at this after all.

The things you do  for the being you love.

Who Vox was muttering to was a mystery to him but also a name that rang a distant bell in the back of his mind which was highly annoying. No he could question it later right now it was giving vox a break from whatever for affecting him.

"But I don't think we are talking about the same thing somehow. Do you mean like some kind of puppeteer who is pulling the strings for us?" Before continuing to talk he takes Vox's hand on his own, giving it a squeeze thumb brushing over the back of his hand.

"I sometimes get the feeling that I'm not fully in control. I think it's normal to feel that way that someone is running the show we call life."

@radioaf whispered a line !! m!a: rp sentient ( accepting! ) "You seem more frantic than normal, mon chéri, would you like to talk about it?" (Hi Vox, sorry for everything Al has done he is pain even to me, and this magic anon thing i hope it ends soon for you)

more frantic? of course he was. he couldn't seem to think straight. everything happening around him happened simultaneously. it took over - stimulation to a whole new level he had never experienced. voices in his mind, presences he never knew existed and now could barely look away from. and they were everywhere. all the time. it was quieter, now, a down time, perhaps, but it only left him wondering how much peace he would have before it started back up again.

alastor would always be a welcome sight, especially this one. they were having dates and silly moments all the time, and he knew, oh, he knew where their most prominent one was going, he knew where it would end. it was a major spoiler, but one welcome one.

he loved him, after all.

❛ i don't know how to start. ❜ he admits it softly, reaching for him, even as his gaze travels north.

he finds a myriad a energy and moving parts. there's chaos in the space above alastor, where his puppeteer sits. where heat and chill meet, the movement of all things. the changing energy between spring and summer, bringing torrents of rain and whipping wind. and in the center of it all, a calm eye of the storm. sheltered and steady, offering a steady set of words that work to calm vox.

the apology is sincere, he thinks.

❛ thank you, chaos, ❜ he mumbles. how ironic.

❛ have you ever wondered if there were larger beings than us? you know. like ... gods, but ... more? i don't know. even grander? ❜

[radioaf]

never was he one to share anything in the way of how he actually felt. being open and honest never. walls were raised so high even he couldn't see the top any more but even the strongest stone had cracks where the true could slip through. he had always been lonely since he was child, it was what he was used to, never having someone close enough to see who he truly was just what he wanted.

yet that lonely void was always deep buried somewhere in the back of his mind.

He can still dismiss this whole thing.

though something told him Vox would understand this. it was safe to talk about it after all this was a man he was meant to marry once and one he still loved as much as he was capable of doing.

he gave a small nod as answer to Vox's question. his body tense as his smile tightens claws dig into his palms. "Maybe we should change the way we do things between us?"

oh. so this wasn't so much literal as it was metaphorical. or, rather, emotional. vox wasn't particularly well known for emotional literacy, not in a way that was particularly beneficial for the other party. he was an exploiter - ready and willing to take someone else's vulnerability as an opportunity to get what he wanted from them. to capitalize. to win.

he would not do this to alastor. no, never.

at least not on purpose.

but even so, he was surprisingly familiar with this concept. loneliness, the feeling of being the only one in the room even when it bustles with business. he would be lying to say he had no idea how it felt.

❛ i feel it, too, sometimes. ❜ a quieter response, thoughtful. ❛ i usually work it out. shift my focus to something else, but sometimes it doesn't go away for days. is it like that for you? ❜

[radioaf]

"Then why do I still feel like I am on some days?"

It’s not aimed at Vox, not with those very hard to tune out eyes always watching, always presence that’s almost as close to him as his own shadow. It was comforting if a little creepy at the same time. It's a question he doesn't expect Vox to answer. How could he? it wasn't possible. He doesn't make a habit of asking deep level questions like this or get this deep into his own thoughts but he suppose Vox was a safe place to dive this deep with.

@radioaf whispered a line !! PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO LET ANYONE CARE ABOUT THEM i've been alone all my life. it's nothing new.

❛ well, you're far from alone now. you're never going to be alone again. ❜

what else was there to say? it was simple fact. even when vox wasn't there in person, he was always watching, always had one eye and ear on the man. there would be no escaping, even if alastor wanted to. he could have told him today to leave him alone, and though he would verbally indulge him, he would never, ever stop.

he couldn't. it simply wasn't tenable.