#ㅤ* ╱ 465.

[kianbe]

instead of responding with a yes or a no, nicky asks him a question, and though it's not exactly the answer he hoped for, kian's eyes widen when he realizes what he's being asked. if he's being honest, over the years, he never put a lot of thought in the weight or depth of nicky's feelings. all he focused on was how much he adored being in his company; adored feeling his presence. to other people, nicky may come across prickly, cold, and aloof, but kian's seldom seen that side of him. one of his older sisters pointed that out to him recently, and that conversation may have kickstarted this train of thought he hasn't been able to hop off of.

it was embarrassingly late, but it was then when he started to wonder if nicky's treatment of him was different for a reason; if the intent behind his actions were more than friendly.

he feels dumb for not noticing it sooner, for not questioning things sooner, but when he finally did, he realized that his feelings for nicky weren't merely platonic either. somehow, some way, he's figured out how to make nicky smile, and ever since he witnessed that beautiful smile for the very first time, he wanted to keep making it happen. his days were often spent thinking up ways to witness that beam of light shine from him because, as innocent as it is, all he wanted to do was make nicky happy. that's all he still wants to do, even now.

"i didn't know then, but now that i've been thinking about it, i not only realized that that's maybe how you felt about me all this time, but it's also how i feel about you... how i've felt about you, too." with that, he licks over his lips; his sniffles not yet ceasing. "i've always known that you were—and are—my favorite person to be around, and i've always known that making you happy all of the time is extremely important to me, and i feel honored that i've been able to for so long..."

his heart is pounding a mile a millisecond, but he remains focused on nicky; allowing him to keep them anchored, like he always does. "all i want to do now is continue making you happy for as long as possible. i want to live in a world that revolves around you and i. that's all i want. will you please live there with me? just... let me make you happy. please... please?" kian feels silly for begging, but he wants to know the answer; needs to know the answer.

he's trying not to cry too hard, but he's slowly starting to lose his composure. "please, nicky? i want you... i want you so much..."

there was a time when nicky thought that tears always meant sadness or hurt. those were the only times he ever cried as a child, though he was scolded for such things more often than not. it wasn't until meeting kian that he realized that tears can have all sorts of meanings, all of them intensely emotional but not necessarily in a negative way. he remembers the first time he witnesses kian's happy tears, his laughing tears, his tears shed out of love for family and friends that he couldn't otherwise express. while nicky still doesn't like to see kian crying, he knows it's not always something that indicates a problem that needs to be fixed, despite what his first instinct tells him. his own tears may only come in times of great frustration or disappointment, but that's not the case for his friend.

really, kian promises, i'm sure. and yet nicky can't help but doubt, as he often does. what's so lovable about me? he'd ask himself, as he often has. he's seen therapists, he still works on loving himself and erasing the damage done to him by the witch he called a mother, but that question still remains. nicky knows that he's not soft. he's not warm, he's not good at expressing tender things. and yet he still holds kian's face in his hands, he still wipes his tears without thinking twice about it. nicky thinks he's some heartless husk, walking the earth until he finds purpose somewhere. but hasn't his heart been here all along? isn't that exactly what's being cradled so desperately in his fingertips now?

kian always has such poetic words. of course he does, he's an artist by nature, in a sense. nicky doesn't always get it, a more to-the-point type of guy, but he knows in this moment that painting an abstract portrait of the feelings between them says more than simple words ever could. he may not understand what kian means about other worlds and where to live but he understands the intention, he understands the confession. and if kian has been thinking about things then... it must be real. kian doesn't think if he doesn't absolutely have to.

"did you know?" he asks suddenly, almost accusatory if not for the way he doesn't let go of the other man, still gentle. "did you know i've liked you this whole time? i don't even remember when it started... but i thought i was doing a good job of just being your friend anyway." for all the times he's rehearsed a confession in his mind, written the script and the monologue of things he wants to say, in the moment nicky can't think of anything at all. perhaps it's lame, admitting that he's harbored feelings for his best friend for so much longer than he even really knows. his words may lack the poetry of kian's, but perhaps they're beautiful in their own way. after all, could any confession of love really be ugly?

[sarangbe]

[  🌹  ]  𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊 𝖆𝖌𝖆𝖎𝖓...

𝖈𝖔𝖑𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖊 𝖈𝖆𝖋𝖊, 𝖍𝖔𝖓𝖌𝖉𝖆𝖊, 𝟏𝟏𝖆𝖒 /  20220911. 𝖙𝖑𝖉𝖗 /  SARANG FINALLY TALKS TO MINDEULLE.

it’s not been long since he put in a leave of absence at school and embarked on his journey as a trainee, and on his days off, he still finds himself in the general hongdae area; spending extra time with seulgi when he’s free, indulging in the delicious cafés, and partaking in the culture that this corner of seoul has to offer. when he takes time to reflect, he realizes that it honestly hasn’t been that long since he arrived in the capital city from namwon. it only took a few short months for him to have a lifetime full of different experiences, and he’s grateful for that, but there’s an ever-curious part of him that wants to discover even more about life in such an iconic location. it’s a large-scale place, after all, so there’s plenty to explore, and being that he’s been hard at work training for the last few weeks, he’s decided to map out his own little adventure for the day. he doesn’t have a guest attached to his hip — at least not one that planned this out with him — and sort of hopes that he meets one along the way; knowing it would be a lot more fun to share the experience with someone else instead of all on his own. nevertheless, he begins his journey at one of his favorite cafés, and as he sits and enjoys his pastry and coffee, he scrolls through his phone to find the best place to start. it’s in this moment when he sees someone very familiar.

eyes hone in on the individual in question. he’s sitting across the café from him, and sneakily,  sarang pulls up his instagram feed and, completely coincidentally, the first picture he sees is of the person he’s eying in the flesh. he used to see him around campus pretty often, and has attempted to strike up a conversation many times, but for some reason, something always cuts their meetings short. this time, however, he’s hoping that approaching him is a success. maybe this’ll shift his plans for the day, and maybe it won’t, but one thing’s for sure — he’s feeling bold enough to try and bridge this connection yet again. he just hopes that his possible new friend doesn’t think of him as strange for being so persistent. sarang honestly just thinks they’d get along really well... and he also thinks he’s handsome. is that so wrong ??

boldly, he stands from his chair and ambles over to where the other sits; offering a smile once he arrives. “ hey !! ” he chirps, then bows delicately; hands gesturing towards the seat parallel to the older of them. “ my name’s yeom sarang — i’ve seen you around at hongik university; i used to go there, too !! is it okay if i take a seat ?? ”

[williamchiu]

while he's not exactly working right now, william never misses an opportunity to network with other industry professionals. it never hurts to make new friends, and after all, there's solidarity in being high-profile. no one else will ever truly know what it's like to be a celebrity, other than another celebrity. there's a firm understanding of image maintenance, of secrecy, and of the nuances when it comes to the lifestyles of the rich, and famous. they're very specific experiences that your average john and jane won't grasp. that's not a statement meant to look down on them at all. hell, if anything, william's envious of them. so much so that, he almost yearns for the sensation of being a nobody back in california, but only sometimes.

sure, he adores the attention that his career path gives him, but there are many downsides that come along with it, too. "normal people" won't ever comprehend how isolating being a public figure can be. they'll never understand the immense levels of pressure; the endless scrutiny; the lack of honest camaraderie. he, and others like him, can only find that level of recognition in those who've also nosedived into the murky waters of fame. so, regardless of whether or not he's had a legitimate conversation with chorong before, he considers them family on some level, and as she starts to speak to him, he grins from ear-to-ear; showing her immediate respect.

"oh, honey..." he begins, shaking his head. "okay, maybe i did sense that you were in desperate need of a little sparkle in your life, but honestly?" william pauses for dramatic effect, straightening his posture. "you could have the sourest expression on your face, and somehow, you'd still come across as graceful. it's honestly very impressive."

hoping his compliment is received well, he raises his own shot glass to her in a silent cheers, then downs its contents in one swift gulp; reveling in the pleasant burn alcohol leaves behind. "yes, i'm william, but please, call me will." his grin grows a little wider as he bows his head in her direction, offering her respect as he's her junior.

"mm, i've been here for roughly half an hour? the night's still young for me; figured it'd be nice to unwind with a drink after the hustle and bustle of last week. did you have a good time? at fashion week, i mean." hopefully bringing up their latest shared event isn't seen as 'business talk.' he'd hate that. in order to prevent that from happening, he decides to be a little facetious.

"some of the music performances were a little lackluster, not gonna lie, but i loved basically everything else? managed to get a lot of phone numbers..." with that, he winks playfully in chorong's direction and laughs; impish.

seoul fashion week was an enjoyable week for chorong. she's worked as a model for a few brands over the years, so it didn't leave a bad taste in her mouth to be returning. chorong opted to go out and celebrate the conclusion of a successful week, which landed her at a rooftop bar. bars and clubs are starting to appear to be chorong's new normal. before, these were places she rarely visited due to how busy she was with other things, but now that she was taking a step back from working for the past few months, she has been catching up on experiences she had been missing out on. nightlife had turned out to be way more fun than she remembered. she rarely remembers any time spent in establishments like this, but she can guess it wasn't that fun because she was too concerned with her image and didn't let go. now, letting go was all she wanted to do.

tonight, chorong was a little more dressed up ( she'd just blame it on the spirit of seoul fashion week if anyone asked ) normally she did her best to blend in and not stand out enough for people to easily recognize her, even going as far as styling her hair to hide as much of her face as she could. even that was ditched tonight, her hair tied up exposing her features. no certainty about the direction the night was heading, the actress sat alone contemplating her future. did she want to remain active? was she just having doubts about the company? or did she want to explore down a new avenue? she was almost too entangled in her own thoughts to notice the new presence standing next to her.

a waiter with a shot glass.

she's no stranger to getting sent drinks but rarely was it a shot. intrigued, she picked up the glass and discreetly looked around to see if she can spot the sender. only one person was looking in her general direction, so she turned her head towards them as well. once she sees who sent it, the actress immediately recognized who it was and wanted to laugh. one, because she had no clue if she had ever actually talked to william, and two, she has to stop meeting people when alcohol is involved. she cannot possibly be leaving a good impression on those she talks to after having a few drinks. but what could she do now, especially after william's gracious invitation to a conversation?

chorong picks up the glass and carries it with her over to the spot by william. "was my 'i'm not happy' vibe coming off too strong tonight?" the truth disguised as a joke. it wasn't like she was sitting by herself with the biggest smile anyone has ever seen, and she was aware of that. "thank you. you're william, right?" she drinks the shot shortly after, having gotten tired of holding the glass. she does watch a few variety shows in her spare time, and she's certain she'd placed the face in front of her to the right show. she hadn't had that much to drink to start mixing up people. "how long have you been here? i thought i would've noticed you before you noticed me."