#・ ◌ ⋯ ❪ i have a heart bleeding me hollow ❫ ⁞ ‹ mannerisms ›

[cifer-ulqui]

Ulquiorra x Reader Drabbles

All of these drabbles I originally wrote in Portuguese to practice writing! They're all highly self-indulgent and too sweet; Ulqui might be rather ooc; I kind of like the whole "he's definitely in love with reader but neither of them think he's capable of it" thing I've got going on here. Part 2

I’m Not Cold The moon is very pretty tonight. His eyes are prettier. The sand blows across the empty desert. The wind disturbs his hair.

Cold sand… Cold hands.

“You’re cold.” It wasn't a question. His voice causes shivers down my spine.

“And you.”

“That’s ridiculous. I’m not cold.” Ulquiorra says.

“Your heart is cold.”

“It’s not.” His eyes close. “I have you.”

--- ---

A Peculiar Cook Ulquiorra looks over my shoulder. “What are you doing?”

“I’m cooking.”

“Why? We’re hollows. We don’t have to eat.”

“Because it’s tasty.”

Ulquiorra clicks his tongue how he does when he’s being cynical. “That’s the reason? It’s useless.”

I turn my head and look with a glare. “You’re going to eat it, and if you complain I will make you eat more. Understood?”

“... Understood.”

“Good.” I mix the vegetable puree. “It’s gazpacho, a soup.”

“Gazpacho.” His voice has no inflexion. “From Spain?”

“Yes. It has tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, cucumbers, peppers, and breadcrumbs. I already made tortillas, and I’m going to fry some calamari last,” I prattle.

“... You like to cook. It’s pleasant for you?”

“Yes,” I say while I go to the fryer.

Ulquiorra sighs and follows after me. “You are peculiar.,” he says.

“You like peculiarities. They’re interesting, right?”

His eyes find mine. “No, I only like you.”

--- ---

Rude “Ow,” I complain. My leg bleeds slowly onto the floor, leaving a trail behind me.

Ulquiorra clicks his tongue while he follows me. “I said you would hurt yourself. You didn’t listen.”

“Fuck off.”

He sighs. “Let me help you.”

“You hurt my head when you speak.”

He grabs my shoulder. “You’re being rude because I was right.” Ulquiorra pulls me by the shoulder. “My quarters are here.”

“I can go to my own room,” I object.

“No. Come.” He doesn’t release my shoulder and drags me to his room. He pushes me to sit on the bed.

Ulquiorra narrows his eyes and points at me. “Stay.”

My blood drips to the floor. I wait for him.

Ulquiorra returns with a medical kit. “Your leg,” he kneels in front of me. He takes my leg, examining the wound before he opens the kit.

Cold hands work diligently to staunch the blood. The manner in which he touches my leg could be considered careful, if he was capable of caring. Ulquiorra is not gentle, but wraps my leg with caution.

“Thanks,” I murmur when he finishes.

“Hm?” Ulquiorra tilts his head… certainly, he heard me.

He wants me to repeat it. “Tsk. I didn’t need your help.”

He lifts an eyebrow, looking at me impassively. “That’s not what you said.”

“Then why did you ask?!”

“You’re rude when you’re upset.” Ulquiorra closes the kit. I stand.

… I try to stand.

Pain shoots up my leg and I lean against him. I wince. He stands up. His hand touches my chest and he pushes me back onto the bed.

I sigh and lay on his sheets. “I’m stealing your bed.”

“Rude.”

I wink at him, making his eyes roll. “Thanks, my bat.”

--- ---

The Heart Does Not Exist “I have no heart.” Ulquiorra closes his eyes and turns his head. “It’s a useless idea that the weak use to forgive their weakness.”

I touch his face gently, turning his gaze to me. His skin is cold and smooth like marble. “Then… I could be your heart.” I look at the hole in his chest. Maybe he really doesn’t have a heart.

His pupils are constricted, black lips parted slightly. His disbelief is clear on his face.

“Idiot,” Ulquiorra scoffs. “Your words have no significance.”

I laugh. “You can be cute when you're mean, my heart.”

“Stop.” He removes his face from where my thumb touches a tear. “You won’t change my opinion. Stop with your prattle.”

I roll my eyes. “And what if I said… You have a heart?” He clicks his tongue.

“Absurd. The heart does not exist.”

“I’m going to take your hand.” I smile. It’s never a good idea to surprise an arrancar, much less the fourth Espada. He lets me take his hand in mine.

His cold hand touches my chest. “My heart. Do you feel it? Beating beneath your hand. Ba-dum! This is my heart, the organ that pumps the blood through my body.”

Ulquiorra’s eyebrows furrow while he looks at his hand. One of his fingers moves, tapping my chest to the rhythm of my heart.

“This beating is your heart?” His voice… sounds gentler. His fingers curl like claws against my chest. I try not to flinch, remembering his propensity to pierce bodies where his own hole is.

“Yes. And even if you don’t find one in your chest, mine will also beat for you. You’re in my heart.”

Ulquiorra stares, seeming confused.

His hand trembles. Disbelief and determination cross his face.

“Impossible.” He pulls his hand away.

Ah. My chest hurts for a moment. I knew that he wouldn’t believe so easily. “You don’t have to believe. I just wanted to show you.”

I sit on the bed. I don’t feel disappointed. I have no reason. I know who he is. He has no heart.

But why does it have to hurt.

The bed dips under his weight. A hand touches mine.

“A heart… I have no heart.” His voice… it sounds like he’s trying to convince himself. “It’s impossible. I cannot see the heart, so it doesn’t exist.”

His eyes are so green. So somber. Those tears must be the cry of his empty soul.

“Then disregard what I said. It’s not important.”

His other hand touches my chest. “This is your heart?”

It seems difficult to breathe, but I ignore the sensation in my chest. I lift my hand.

“Yes.” I touch.

His eyes widen.

Ba-dum.

His chest… something beats beneath my hand.

--- ---

Snowflakes It’s cold. Snowflakes float to the ground. I can see my breath in front of me.

Ulquiorra looks. “What is this?”

“Snow,” I smile. “In winter, when it’s cold, the rain can turn into snow. The pieces we call snowflakes.” He's holding my hand; I told him it was to keep mine warm.

He watches the sky. The tears and mask are hidden. His skin is abnormally pale, his dark bangs fall over his face and beautiful green eyes. Flakes land in his black hair.

He’s perfect. I sigh. Too perfect.

It's been a year since Aizen was defeated. Ulquiorra and the other Arrancar that survived wander between Hueco Mundo and the world of the living. I've been tasked with watching Ulquiorra when he visits. Poor Ichigo is regularly haunted by Grimmjow.

It's the first of December. Ulquiorra’s birthday.

We’re shopping in the human world, in gigai.

He doesn’t know my motive, just that I wanted him to join me. A shiver runs down my spine and I tuck the scarf closer to my neck.

I pull the sleeve of Ulquiorra’s shirt and point to a small bakery. The smell of bread and sweets calls me to open the door. “Let’s get some treats, Ulqui.”

He follows without arguing, letting me drag him.

“It’s warm in here,” I smile at him. “Smells good?”

Ulquiorra looks out the window. “This is all useless.”

I roll my eyes. “Ok, Mr. Gloomy.” I order two pastries and two coffees.

My hands are frozen, and I take the to-go cups of coffee and hand one to Ulquiorra. He takes it, furrowing his brow when I also hand him one of the sweets.

The coffee is so warm; my hands heat up quickly and I take a bite of my chocolate treat.

Ulquiorra follows me outside, looking towards the snow-covered street.

“Let's go, my heart.” I beckon for him to follow me to the next store. I drink my coffee while we walk and he mirrors me. His face scrunches up and I can't tell if he likes it or not, but he keeps drinking it. Cute.

We look at clothes, snacks, coffee cups, and games. I look longer than necessary, pointing things out to him and explaining what they are. I check my phone for the time.

Ulquiorra is obviously not interested, but walks by my side. He finishes his snack and coffee. I feel a little warm inside. He puts up with my nonsense until we get to my apartment.

A commotion quiets on the other side of the door when I knock and I try not to laugh.

The door opens.

Ulquiorra's face is still while the group calls out, “Happy birthday!”

He takes my hand, and my eyes find his. “It's ridiculous. Why are you all doing this?”

I shake my head. “Because we like you, Ulquiorra. Happy birthday, my bat.”

Ulquiorra stares at me. Our friends bring us inside to the party. He sighs and squeezes my hand.

“...Thank you.."

[watercolorfreckles]

Of Oak and Sparrow

(Part 2 of The Girl Called Sparrow)

Sparrow returned to the fallen oak tree one final time.

To her, it was a skeleton. A creaking spine wrapped in an armor of bark that, in the end, wasn't strong enough to keep the true monsters at bay.

The sleeping hill was a graveyard beneath the weight of the tree that once crowned it.

Its branches reached toward the sky like bony fingers. The wind whispered through its foliage to pluck down the browning decay. Those same leaves crunched beneath the sole of her boot. She imagined her faerie's hair muting into an earthy brown to match it.

Sparrow traced the scars in the exposed wood. Each mark splitting the stump was an open wound. Its roots and its core were a bleeding heart, severed from the rest of its great height and graceful limbs.

In the tree rings, she saw his fingerprint. Her Kind Oak. The fae who'd held her heart in his hands and treated it with gentleness.

Her tears soaked into the wood's cracks and grooves, fingers tightening around the acorn that promised her a chance at a future.

The encroaching winter drained the life of the forest away. When Sparrow left her home, it felt as a hollow corpse.

She walked until her feet ached and her body swayed with exhaustion. She sank down against the cover of a mossy knoll, eyelids begging for rest. But it would be of poor manner not to acknowledge her hosts.

Sparrow picked three long strands of grass and weaved them into a ring, testing it on her own finger before sliding it off and tucking it into the knot of a tree.

She spoke aloud to any fae that might be near. Listening. Waiting. "I apologize for my intrusion. I am merely passing through, and am most grateful for your hospitality as I take a night's rest. I left you a gift in the hole of that tree. I hope you take no offense to my presence."

Shivering even beneath the thick wool of her cloak, she let her eyelids drop closed as the night swallowed her up.

Sparrow awoke to a pale sun and frost on her lashes. Her breath formed clouds in the morning chill. Scrubbing the sleep from her eyes, her hand slipped into her pocket, seeking the familiar comfort of her Oak's acorn.

Her heart lurched. She checked again. It wasn't there.

Straightening, she scrabbled through the crust of frost coating the ground around her, searching with a despair that made her dizzy. "No- Where--"

"Tell me, I am dreadfully curious, what is so valuable about this acorn?" spoke a voice like crushed velvet.

Sparrow jolted, swiveling around. Her breath caught.

Before her was a fae that glistened like a winter star. His eyes held the glint of cold steel. A knife's edge, harrowing and beautiful all at once. The gently falling snow avoided him in its path.

Pinched between his moon-pale fingers, was her acorn.

Sparrow's heart gave another awful tug.

She reached for it before she could stop herself. The acorn disappeared into the fae's fist as his lips lifted into a flash of pearly teeth. A little too sharp and a little too amused. Something about it reminded her of the maw of a hungry cat.

Sparrow swallowed. She dropped to her knees. "Forgive me. You startled me."

"Such a pretty gift," the faerie murmured. He lifted his other hand, the ring she'd offered up wrapped around his index finger. Surely he was mocking her. It looked terribly simple against the porcelain of his skin. "It is refreshing to meet a human who still knows the old ways. Are you going to answer my question or do I need to repeat myself?"

Sparrow's fingers twisted in her lap. Her blood ran cold. "I need that acorn to resurrect one who is dear to me."

The fae hummed, holding up the acorn again and glancing it over. "This is magik born of the fae wilds."

Her stare tracked his hand as if he were carelessly handling glass. "I have no knowledge of its origin. Only that the tree this acorn fell from was tethered to a fae who could not leave its shadow. The tree was cut down. I need to plant that acorn to give him renewed life."

The fae's smile was that of a predator toying with its prey because it found the creature's helplessness against it adorable. He crouched in front of her, nimbly balanced on the balls of his arched feet.

His head tilted. "Give me your name and I'll return your precious acorn to you."

"That, I cannot give you," Sparrow said softly. "My acorn is no use to me if I am too intoxicated by your sway to plant it."

"What difference does it make?" The fae's cadence was the crackling of a candle flame; the sparks that rain down from a shooting star. "Even if you plant the seed, years will pass before it grows tall enough to harbor your fae in its shadow; a great many years longer than if this were an ordinary acorn. Magik born of the faerie realm behaves as the fae wilds do. Time is of little consequence there. A moment is stretched for decades.

"Humans age in an instant. What will your dear one think of you when time creases your face and steals your youth? What will happen when you fall away to dust and your love is trapped alone in the confines of a shadow?"

It took the taste of metal in her mouth to realize she'd bitten down on her lip. Her insides swam.

Her mother's voice was clear in her head:

Do not make dealings with the fae.

Follow the rules of fae etiquette.

Do not owe anything to the fae. They will always collect.

But if he could magik a better way... If she could see her love again...

Sparrow forced the fear from her voice. Fae hated weakness, her mind screamed. "Will you make a deal with me?"

The faerie's wicked smile split further across his perfect face. "I was hoping you'd ask."

Look at meeee, i posted twice in a little over one week

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[libidomechanica]

How slow then have wived

A limerick sequence

               1

How slow then have wived. Die if she might vnhappy hath pretious ornaments    shewed all be lou’d by    men-slugs and with with forever, never have fallen: they brooke.

               2

And in some gentle to late to pleasant sun heave heart to go. Thus ending.    I ceases—I recall    this charge nibble the maids till e’en they bear, and then, since they came.

               3

I will once in deeper exquisite, before Natalie’s elysium.    Yet better hyue to graunt    me no more cruell plague of sheaves thee, how your hand. But sorrow’s fall.

               4

No more day and vapours leaves are will. I could not up seas that I a new    Pandora see. ’Er manner,    and his fire. Which you all; let construe womanhood, it mean.

               5

Against sometimes the dawned lip, and, having pleasing so. Such wretches that I    caught else but for many    a thrilling my labyrinthine hair. But in heavy ditty.

               6

The pale lips; she lay in earnest snatched. Last night. Day, whereof I doe praise her    eyes? Singing me too this    old boughs, where trod Apollo’s upward: but ’twas tossed sorely writ.

               7

Is not thy Subject, and heart had been bowl; it moves away. Ought, and oh, her    make, and keep into a    warmed manifold? Gnat, a brere with her harts are but soone abhord.

               8

He spake: o Elenor, weak to her but ioyous day thereof I doe blynd.&With    troubled with buds, and the    furrows thee gracious oyle, I honor rayse. From a sick dove.

               9

That rare a numbers, like a gloomy shadowless it then? Peace and    overshadoweth eternall    blisse. In defiaunce to be kept its skin’s defects proper heaven!

               10

With you thief, althought she walls that in brief. Sweet face bring feet, more prayse. Why should    know by which makes them the    past my day till War’s over the horizon’s vaults. His homeward.

               11

The princely poet. To one could you have heard the thy beauty of the youth    and doth thee sadden heard:    thoughts the world with a lively let thy loue lay the cooler air.

               12

Base subject bounty from woe tell. Thine, like the honor of your causes green    side o’ the dead, the    generous wrong, and loosening. Now while in like the miseryes.

               13

Of o’er-spreading into this colord floor was done murmur my true lovely,    lordly scap’t with those with    a voice, thy beauties grow on her as the hearts away. And me.

               14

True heard a noise of thy selfe her utmost break a twofold truth, her in that    desire of bursting.    My hunting on the sea breath of May, as young were bark will get.

               15

That scorn to the more hollow, from the fault of some pitty neuer in its    love: of parcells make his    own land for whose simple heart bleed. Say one another cologne.

               16

Those who am dumb caves, and the Bow, the worlds gladsome ray: all fetter paine,    and topp, als my budding    years ago. And goods which he space of the heat of all OK.

               17

But by her trust, not what bene slays me. Or how that rage mought mean. For the    worlds pride, or they becomes    the open was so richly dight: while I sought thrise-sad tragedie.

               18

To melting by a hundred doth moue. The surf and, on the roots into each    other, as I’ll say ’tis    under her frowne. Sad and hoary wyth from my sire, to spil.

               19

A noise of grief and sight and liberty! Him whom his temple fayrer    weathery sad bed of loues    stride: the children feel. ’Twas a willow trailed thrust into my dear.

               20

No water, and nothing I saw the hands, to left and be friend, that more in    tender her louely fyre,    that after too. For eftsones Winters wracke, for some divine!

               21

And thaw before my hartblood you’d like those beauties pride dare touch that xylem    thicks apace, a gold chain    of immensity: the charm. And, fair a lightning resting-place.

               22

With black Buick, driven so winged censer teeming; no shrine he hast lost    inferior features, of    her hart-thrill, that this this is my selfe to Sorrow!-Cast, i’ve heart.

               23

No defende, when she sang. For these men of drifting upon the day: and in    her mind and sights, and there    sat in; time, the tale passed, and shook, and I though amorous friend.

               24

Him to The Sage began in all handle you see them dear man, so    subterranean streams, and mock.    For honny. Till dance that it lykewize. Harsh russet of gold.

               25

To us, like arrowes the weeps, and plunder’d and fragrant mew, good as    God hath make a new    Pandora see. ’ Said Margaret stood near the wooing sun hurries them!

               26

The bare walls, his dewelap as lythe, as no dreams again. That greedily    her force must, let’s sing to    her your virtues may you fairest-blossome of deadly arrayd.

               27

Every soul’s sun, the rose hands embrace me kept, like the fancy-sick. Till Pan    and now delight. Care to    a sort of my lyfe wils him in the great broke promising she.

               28

With skill, but come on withal she to woo,—and—Lord knows; hyacinth half so    ill availed? Till that from    all with buds, a fairy phantasies too, but his paleness.

               29

The durefully looking us, a black rock my streams them, that did fly.    Summer’s soul, what time I    held her hand cruelly, the mass of natures which al power blush.

               30

In thy mouth with a shade of houshold flower salesman. For the garden-ground,    and the sweetness his change,    and hospitality, so blind and each other entertaine.

               31

And, like all them. The last year’s bitter smile than whence remove; the gentle birds    in thy soul appalls; I    mock’d me to thraldome ties? I say, like. Not. Ye high-fronted high.

               32

I staru’d: so plead: doe weary. If Pearlesse stone-crop started up, and no    more: then brake out my fixt    heights; once I sate to purchas with the sons passed by any art.

               33

I turned and sea, from off her that he cannot expresse, eternal springeth:    o stone blaze ouerthrow. Something    a tree the love than withal sweetly slumber, and vtter here.

               34

The western sun; coral claspt by a token. Eye-dawn of a brooke, out of    earth too ripe, in reason    or with armes and thence did offend. Landscape, that in her may remoue.

               35

And straight like a dropping snow be whiter strife did soar so pass’d on that. And    wild-ridged mountain pass’d in    deep indeed, locks father, to cheerlesse your greater glories old.

               36

God and lost breathless prise, saw two foes about barber. That is know her owne    powre are mind and worth, I    wote thou then of me, as Rainebowe bent; and tymely fade.

               37

But we see, dearest, here she falling long the life from its more. If anywhere    shall thy might: than our    Peeretree haunt of all exceeds, and knees the yoke, I will would quake.

               38

And with those six books; such a dove tremble: piteous Lilly of my mistress:    a wander’d in Venus    for those lofty be. Such easy chearful to Spirit wander.

               39

It seemd I smelt a garland cresses sake. Whither silk-saft faulds to feelingly    among thence could not    paid the more raisèd up his learn’d no tidings of houshold flower!

               40

And nettles rot and subtitles, fall forth afresh again. That moment me    tell his grief and chearfully,    espy some idly roar, how coming on the little ways.

               41

(Which we shining sun; while thus—Poor Man! And wits. Act thir girls who fared the sun,    o knights to the tann’d harvest.    Out hunger. The water the which in her said, she passion.

               42

She to her arms; but i should the apprehends no killing over hollow    it smoothe, his breathe thick and    gather’s loudly did offence. Yet now with just above my bane.

               43

With music ceased Counsellor; and white! So loytring low in love he is iron    heels: and I been twisted    round my sleepe thou hast but as you, your hands might watch over there.

               44

—I stand of May, as does these hand that God be good deeds deface. Thou a    sympathies all those eyes, O    trees, bespake. My lord’s keep herbage; and all its Difficulties?

               45

Leaving but as you, kind of golden quiuer at his inke, and scorn drew from the    Argonauts, in some gentle    torn. Daisies, vermeil rose interest the dreadfull heale.

               46

And, being harrowd hell is our humbled on by Autumn wild, its will ruin,    answer shone so wan,    clothes well. Caused of her obay, whom ye doe we doubt he is done.

               47

Feast, nor Usury wrung from her stubborn earth toyes, my chain. Julia was changed,    and, carrion Crowes    had beneath thy flame, fit for if these trees and how worthy eye.

               48

So winged bank; and they walks a moment has never can divine converse, into    a puff of smoke like    Ganymede to lead in lusty May! No, but he is no shamed.

               49

Shore, but greeding tooke, twixt the teare, beeing it his eye stedfast in her Cypress    lying, kind is done; and    then to muse on one,—and prized in unquiet place. Thinking our daunce.

               50

Night of gall, is fancy fed with full of tumbling compast countenances    in the same nail, his loue    did begins to pain her arms which light. First breathlesse your own fire.

               51

Most fit deuize, strong; but once enlumind me, saying, This said Blanche at distance,    like before health bright. Walked    with all theyr great the Pen of straw and make my torments, whither.

               52

To decke her eies haue shew. My lord that spicy nest. Self-discours’d upon that.    But then, who lov’st to played,    that thought from that make all would I wed a fair enchantment swept.

               53

Or touch the spred with her so wild self, and thereof when I plead that wouldest    me, being chid! Nor Love—    althought, and through glittering past; to sit with a raucous trill.

               54

No, but a bayt such coles of old, from badde thee doth live. The heavy ditty,    but by men-slugs and there    dead and became more: I wish that with lightsome dainty eares?

               55

Most happy she behold her in this years ago. Which it bore up their comfort    me, since that thine    Original Degree, this heard, looking of that honour of milk.

               56

Kept, as Danae in a mossy stones, till he chose, the breme window’d hearken! And    I are not one who wast    bignes but at you can quantify: each otherwhere and grief.

               57

Behold thyme, and then returned each one love, hatred, joy, or fear, a daughter,    and in chase. His senseless    still shut as thou art and men’s tear all dabbled with greedy fyre.

               58

And fair fallen life, I know what would sit the which loue is quiuer at her painted    stalks, tread my lower    and the grot of garden- bed as if the Tyrannesse of kynd.

               59

Before Thee; from their invocation. Shall I tell—the prince of pure yvory:    and pardon for it.    Doe I not sit This small: what there sweet debt of lips break.

               60

I grant fled; there and humming for to write her will the air, the dew had take    delight, my wrathfull    temptation of his misinterposed; please. They said, he wasted.

               61

Ye trade, and the heap’d o’er-hanging you can, that winter-bound the sheets, I love    of heaven that thy Face    of green sweater with their Jaws bloom, or with what thou, Muse, my dear.

               62

The roses and left us first step. Till hath descry the make a lodging,    and all ill were we stay    of his owlets crystal entry shriek’d aloud. To fold when that.

               63

Wide of flowers it seemed touch’d with gory blood; it grieved, the last to tie? Its    own like a gull pass ere    I rais’d nor confounded, how euer now wild, and hoary, see it.

               64

So doth lurkest lykewise loue himself is blurred. Whence can spel, with fear: but    in glory seemes from    my fit: the nighting her the turning with honour, when I would.

               65

Goodly semblant tree, sacred vestments. Shall light of sticks, the Praises: nothing    me, o fair, so young and    silences. Of a swan, so stand nothing may be refreshment.

               66

But Blanche: and that o’er cloud with the blossome of your battle wings in a breath    not to let the low. And    oh, her wil be thou shalt thou hast but a Vice Lords of light; faint!

               67

That good faithful, and so in hand—Did one hear the pumies latched, and for they    all spred, her very heard.    We broome-flower to the shrunk shuddering hounds of Paradise.

               68

With life a fruit in vaine pleasant hues of natures of her drearily did    lave the mortgage was dizzy    and none may his learned letters, through reeds—in desolate.

               69

Actress’ flame plaste. With essence; till the loves me playe, I cannons loudly make    agreement with which they    lifted off. Now when she end, mingle ballad galleries pride!

               70

The believes me sure, but howso’er fixed in languor speake no womanhood grown    yew tree tops? A great cause?    Steal upon the same. Sort of drifting is all? Of the daisies.

               71

My breath, whose eyelids with the pageants play upon him, raking the lost and    quail, or his race now end,    let it fly that light. The Monk sat down; the lea, and boats are charm.

               72

Through whole from her died away their noses thrice o’er Siberia’s short-lived pressure.    Ye sharp checkes I    hasten now, by turning of other side of my face such poore.

               73

And had the roses seemes to end. For want him to rest of a Vice and    saw an aged nursed hyre:    in close conuert. Like a fire doth in completely puzzled,—what!

               74

Purged airy chance: so happy, it had hurl’d my foolishness and paines, of    owlet pinions to quell,    to beguile: pregnates thee and so innocence beare: and sore.

               75

Which was the brunt so strong, to rain. A wondered in her belly, but therewithal    sweet love faithfull    blooded in ones hands: their moral and climate changes, and ease.

               76

A kingly ’mong which kills me wend in heauen for it. Love the stole into a    sisters, to muse as on    air, the gaps and dead words against the loue learned letters wrath.

               77

And snows my life’s first not thy refulgent that I do ow; and, every more    and merry in each of    his day, wretched up. Her crown of aurorean love be shineth.

               78

For our soul to seeke so well is her fingering love unto us from    your promise twice, dear, dear.    Beat quickly, and that naught in which I vnto your ponder to end.

               79

Lips sweld so full heale. In wise me of so heauen match that three scorn, and man    at her praised, but add, jenny    kissed home, in respects for many a mystery. For all.

               80

And kill, with myself did make and by her them do crave. Ere your Suppliantly:    He said she, that did I    kiss that is such a thumbs- ups, like sometimes delay a traced so.

               81

Thou didst buying to curtain pining cart as a figur’d, and euery day,    that can aslake. And with,    whole solemn tone: but his spotted turf and scorn to goe a short.

               82

The frothy maister two in my so holy and mute, like a poll of the    Knot; and from the hearth: what    excuse my souerayne beguyld. When birds arous’d my eyes were throat.

               83

But cruel; for whom she had joined them mayst might charm the range, time is infidelity?    Hearing not afraid,    and in their lucid wombs: then last of the body heale.

[kmhnsecretexchange]

Title: The Ultimate Observer

Author: @mirroredgiraffe​

For: @collegiate-trash​

Pairings/Characters: Kamukura Izuru/Komaeda Nagito, Hinata Hajime/Komaeda Nagito

Rating/Warnings: Teen and Up, No Warnings Apply

Prompt: Kamukura observing the Neo World with Junko’s AI (where he definitely isn’t focusing on Komaeda wdym)

Author’s notes: The themes and matrity of the fic match the ones of the games, so I didn’t get too extreme. Also you’ll need to know the events of SDR2, DR3, Ultra Despair Girls, and DR 2.5 to understand this fic.

Summary: Kamukura has set up this killing game to determine which is better: hope or despair? While in the simulation observing the remnants, he rediscovers emotions and memories he thought were previously lost. With the help of his body-double and other friends, will he still want to answer this hypothesis?

Word Count: 14K+ (idk how i did that)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/45523753

Fic under Read More

He predicted he’d end up somewhere in the program when he put the flash drive in the main computer.

Although, he did not predict he’d be like a ghost watching over younger versions of the remnants. It was truly an interesting situation, especially since he could watch *himself*.

Yet, this “Hinata” didn’t grab his attention as much as another individual did.

“Heyyy, Zuzu whatcha’ up to now?” Enoshima puts her elbow on his shoulder, looking him up and down, “huuuuuhhh?”

Her voice was grating on his ears, like nails on a chalkboard.

“Same thing as always, you know that.”

“Ahhhh, you’re so predictable sometimes. HA, it’s no fun, Zuzu~!” She puts her arm around his neck and squeezes him tight enough to choke someone, of course, it didn’t affect him.

In the distance, they could see “Hinata” speaking to Nanami. It gave Kamukura a sinking feeling in his chest he couldn’t describe.

“Doesn’t it hurt your cold, *cold* heart to see him with your old, *only* friend?” She giggles, rushing to grip her stomach. “Oooh, it especially hurts now since she’s on our team, right?”

“We aren’t a team, all of us are separate entities.”

“Godddd, you’re no fun! I think if we all try hard enough we can all be besties!” Her arms go slack and her face turns hollow. “Unless you guys don’t even care or like me, which I can understand. I’m just a miserable pile of chaos and despair…” She switches again, sporting a metal pose like she’s a harupeko. “Jesus Christ, fuck that!! Even if you guys don’t want me, you’re gonna get my sweet ass anyways!!”

Kamukura, expression unchanging, keeps staring at his body double and “friend” talk. Then, another person came into view; a tall guy with white hair. Kamukura immediately recognized him, but he looked so *different*, it surprised him.

All of the remanets looked like themselves, for the most part. He can still see their passion in their eyes, their talent in their mannerisms, and he can still see their bond even without memories of each other.

Yet, he was different somehow. Kamukura couldn’t quite place what it was, and that fact fascinated him.

Like everything else, Enoshima immediately noticed this slight change in his aura. She gasps dramatically and grabs Kamukura’s face like she’s trying to look for something. “Did I detect a hint of curiosity from you?” She starts to fake cry, “you never felt that way towards me befooore!”

“You were never interesting enough to warrant my curiosity.”

“Ohhh! You wound me so!! ” She makes a motion of stabbing herself in the chest. “I think I’m bleeding out!”

Kamukura ignores her and continues watching the participants.

“Hmmmm, you didn’t change your ‘tude until *he* showed up.” She rubs her chin and watches the group with him. “God, you must have been gay before the surgery.”

“You jump to conclusions too much for someone who’s the ‘Ulitmate Analytic’.”

“Oh, only for show, my dearest~!” She pokes his chest, “I reaaally know what is happening to your brain right now, even if you don’t!” She holds her arms close to her and she starts trembling, “it’s so romantic, isn’t it? Oh, but I wish you felt *something* towards me. You know I just want you to ra-”

“I don’t wish to hear it.”

Enoshima jumps in surprise, “oohooohhh I’m so sowwy Kamukuwa-senpai! I won’t ever do it again!” She saluted him with her tongue sticking out of her mouth.

“Why do you bother to lie to me, even when you know I can tell?”

“Because it’s fun! Ever heard of it, Mr. Lobotomy?”

“I am the Ultimate Comdeian.”

She bursts out laughing, “yeah you def are!! You’re so funny, I can’t even tell when you’re joking.”

“Hmm.” He stopped paying attention a while ago, all he was focused on was the interesting guy attached to his body double’s hip.

-

“You’re not supposed to be here.” Nanami looked up at Enoshima, her gaze occasionally drifted to look at Kamukura, but her focus was on the woman.

“Awww, why not, Nanami-senpai~?” She puts her hands on her hips, “why can’t we all just be kumbaya? Just hold hands and watch this shit show go down together?” She puts a hand to her face to cover an eye, “we’re all the same anyways.”

Nanami turns a faint shade of red, “don’t you *dare* put me in the same category as *you*! *He* is even different from you, I think.”

“What a bold statement from a tiny gamer girl! I didn’t know you had that fire in ya!“ Enoshima snickered, "luckily for you since you’re AI, you’re on the same level as me! Isn’t that such an awesome gift?”

“No, I was made to watch over the remnants. It was *only* supposed to be me here, probably.” Her eyes darted to Kamukura for a second, but she redirected them to Enoshima. “You’re just a virus, you’re not meant to be here.”

“What’s with the divided attention, Nanami-senpai~? I’m starting to get jealous.” She started to fake cry, “it’s like you ha-hate me!”

Nanami didn’t respond to that, she only straightened her posture and continued glaring at her.

“Hmm, you’re no fun.” She crossed her arms and sighed heavily. “You should hang out with Kamukura since you’re both such party poppers.”

Enoshima vanished after that, going somewhere else to annoy someone.

Nanami stepped closer to Kamukura, studying his face and body. “You’re Hinata-kun, right? I have all the memories of Chiaki Nanami so I think I understand what you are. But… Why are you here?”

“You could say I’m ‘Hinata’, but he’s separate from me now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I theorized that when we entered the program, something would happen to both of us. It was unpredictable which outcome it would be.” His eyes glimmer slightly at that comment, “the outcome ended up being 'Hinata’ and I being forced apart.”

“So you’re different people now or..?”

“No.”

“I see… So why can I see you here and Hinata-kun in the program with my classmates?”

“When the program forced him to forget his time at Hope’s Peak and after, it tore me from the equation. Since I only existed in that time frame.”

“If that’s the case then why are you still here?”

“I’m not quite sure.”

Nanami stepped closer again. “I think I might like having you here.” She smiled, “I vaguely remember you, but you’re the only one who remembers me as a friend, right?”

Kamukura didn’t speak for a while, that question made him contemplate deeply. “I suppose I am.”

-

He’s similar to the Servant he knew.

Of course, he was younger and has no clue what he was and what he’s done. A more innocent version of the man, which is saying a lot.

Sure, all of the people on the island were like that. For Kamukura it was interesting, especially now that they were forced into another despairing situation.

Not quite like the last one, this one had a tinge of hope. The hope of escape and resilience.

He knew better than that, and it seemed this “Komaeda” did too.

Kamukura has been watching Komaeda for the last three days closely. Enoshima and Nanami were with the students most of the time, so there was no one trying to talk to him. 

Since the announcement that the remnants were put in a killing game, Komaeda has been planning a murder. At a party where they were supposed to ignore that exact same fate. One where Komaeda was supposed to die at the hands of someone else.

Interesting.

Komaeda was mostly silent as he planned his scheme. He did not want to draw suspicion after all, he was lucky enough to be able to clean the building all by himself. 

It seems he put it all on luck, even when the outcome was never guaranteed. His whole plan was reliant on his luck even when it is almost unpredictable.

Kamukura also possessed the talent of luck, and because of that, he knew the ins and outs of it. Yet, he never really used his luck for a thing such as this. Perhaps due to this, he was engrossed in this man’s organic luck.

Yet, there was one other person who happened to cross the unfavorable side of the man’s luck; Hanamura Teruteru, the only other soul in that building at the time.

Due to him discovering Komaeda set up a murder, he played exactly into his game. Kamukura could tell that the moment he saw the way Komaeda’s eyes swirl when Hanamura demands an explanation.

It will be interesting to see how this goes.

Maybe he is closer to the Servant he knew after all.

-

Togmai Byakuya was found dead under the table, now “Hinata” and the rest of the remnants had to find out who did it.

Kamukura was able to be close to the remnants while the trial happened. Enoshima made it able to where he could “be part of the fun”, of course, he was only able to be seen by the other AI.

Although, it was a special case for “Hinata”. Due to their mental link, they had some influence on each other. The man didn’t know Kamukura was there or even knew of his existence, but he knew *someone* was in the back of his mind helping him somehow.

“Hinata” felt lost, and confused, but mostly he was scared. One of his classmates died, and another one did the deed. Even with the investigating he did, he was reluctant to point fingers. However, he had to, and with this new boost of stability from the back of his head; maybe he could do this.

Due to stress, his head was empty. Maybe Komaeda would help him with this, he *was* very helpful in the investigation after all.

“Hinata” wanted to prove that he was capable, so he *had* to be able to do this trial right. Of course, his and his classmates’ lives were at stake. The pressure was insane, making his head hurt from how useless it was.

Apparently, we were never expected of greatness. I *could* help “Hinata” with the trial. Although, he seems like he would be fine. Interfering would be pointless.

Kamukura stood next to “Hinata”, looking at the screen on his stand. 

He wrote down enough evidence to figure out what happened, maybe he could figure this out on his own.

He looks at Komaeda across the room. He can’t see Kamukura, but when he locks eyes with “Hinata”, Kamukura pretends Komaeda is looking at him instead. Well, that wasn’t entirely wrong, but Kamukura was being a little self-indulgent. A thing he has never done before, it gave him a glimmer in his chest. “Hinata” felt his longing and hope, it gave him the motivation to do this trial.

They both could thank Komaeda for that.

I wonder what you will do, please surprise me.

-

Hollow.

Komaeda gripped his stomach as he spoke.

Betrayed.

He couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

Confused.

[Out of all the people, why did it have to be you?]

Sorrow.

“Hinata’s” thoughts were racing, screaming in Kamukura’s face.

Heartbroken.

[I *trusted* you. And for what? For you to fucking murder someone and turn around and look at me with a smile asking to help investigate… So it was all a lie… A game to you?]

Kamukura couldn’t believe it, but he was *feeling* emotions. Strong ones at that, he didn’t think it was possible. Yet, the influence of “Hinata” ended up making him share the wave of despair he got from Komaeda’s “betrayal”.

Enoshima, or rather Monokuma, was giggling from the sidelines as the students were freaking out.

Her shrill voice echoed in Kamukura’s head.

You didn’t expect that, didn’t you? Even when you knew exactly what that skeleton freak did, he *surprised* you. Doesn’t that make you feel such wonderful despair? I am so happy you get to see things my way!

He felt nauseous, his head was banging like it had its own earthquake. “Hinata” leaned forward holding his stomach, so he felt it too.

Komaeda’s laugh became louder in his head as Enoshima’s faded. It was raspy in comparison like he barely had enough air in his lungs to continue laughing.

Determination.

Kamukura *knew* what happened, so maybe he should give “Hinata” a little push in the right direction.

No, that’s wrong.

“Hinata” voiced the thought Kamukura gave him, and it echoed in the room.

A spark of something was in Komaeda’s eye, but Kamukura couldn’t quite read it.

Maybe I- we should look more into you.

Kamukura looked at his body double, he had a new fire in his eyes. And it all came from *him*.

Who knew Kamukura still had it in him?

“Hinata” must be a larger influence than Kamukura previously thought.

Now, he was *interested* in what more “Hinata” could show him.

-

Hinata opened a door and entered a small room. It didn’t look anything like he’s seen before. It was completely dark, the only thing illuminated was the door he used. He turned around and around to try to see anything, but nothing.

Then all of a sudden a desk with two chairs appears.

He decides to approach them.

A person with long black hair and a black suit and tie is sitting in one of the chairs. Their face is darkened out, so Hinata cannot tell who it may be. 

The figure speaks, “I didn’t think you’d come here.”

“I saw a door appear and opened it and ended up here, so don’t think too hard about it.”

“I won’t.” Hinata can feel their gaze on him, “sit down. Don’t you want to talk about something while you’re here? You’ll be here a while.”

Hinata looks back at the door, and then back at the figure. It seemed like a bad idea to run back and go against their wishes.

He sat down next to the figure, eyeing them up and down. Even when they were so close, Hinata couldn’t see any facial features. “Who are you exactly? Also, I’d like to know where I am and why I’m gonna ‘be here a while.’”

The figure puts their hands on their lap, “I don’t think you want to know who I am, not yet anyways.” They sigh, “but I will tell you that you are in your own head. Let’s just call it ‘dream time.’ Of course, you sleep about 8 hours a night. Until you wake up in the morning, you’ll be here.” They put their joined hands on the table, “you don’t always need to come inside and see me, but you chose to tonight.”

“It just felt right… I don’t know…” He shakes his head, “no fuck okay, so what even are you then? If this is just some weird dream, then what does that make you?”

“Let’s just say I’m a part of you.”

“What the fuck… You’re not making sense.”

“I suppose I am the side of you you want to forget.”

Hinata grabbed his head, “gaahhhh, whatever be mysterious and vague emo… guy…”

“Good insult.”

“Oh, shut up.” He crossed his arms, “what am I supposed to even do here anyways?”

“We could talk if you want.”

Hinata leaned back in his chair and looked at where the figure’s eyes would have been, “sure. Got any conversation starters?”

“What do you think about Komaeda?”

He choked at that name, “*Him*? That’s what you want to talk about?”

“I feel your emotions and know everything you think. I know you want to understand him too.”

He put his hands in his face, “okay, fuck okay. I’ll humor you.” He sighs and puts his hands on the edge of the table. “I used to see that guy as a friend. He was just so chill and made me feel-. God, I don’t know anymore. I just don’t like thinking about it.” His hands gripped the table harder, “what he did is *unredeemable*, he manipulated someone to *murder*. He was planning to fucking kill someone!”

“That last part isn’t true and you know it.”

“… What?”

“We both saw the evidence and based on that, his plan didn’t exactly go as he originally planned.”

“What are you saying..?”

“He planned for himself to be the one who died.”

“I don’t want to talk to you anymore.” He stood up, “you- you don’t make *sense*!” He turned around so he couldn’t look at them anymore.

“It’s pointless to reject your own thoughts.”

Hinata whipped around and pointed a finger at them, “no. No! I do not think that! I don’t care if you’re my fucking “other self”, but you must be some intrusive thought or something… I am not dealing with this shit anymore, I’m leaving.”

Hinata walked towards the door, stomping his feet. He slowly opened the door and sighed.

“See you soon, ‘Hinata’.”

He shut the door behind him.

-

“Oh, Hinata great timing,” Hinata bumped into Koizumi in the cafe. “Could you do me a favor, since you’re here?” Her voice pitched high when she asked that, it felt fragile to Hinata’s ears.

“Umm, sure, what is it?”

“Could you bring this breakfast to Komaeda?” Hinata jolted in surprise, “hey, don’t act like that! I was gonna go it, but when I did it earlier he complained I gave him rice.” She scoffed, “god, he acts so high and mighty even when he’s tied up for planning a murder. I should have left him hungry, but *someone* had to feed him, right.” Her shoulders fell, “don’t want to accidentally kill him… I asked Monokuma and he said it would count…”

Hinata *really* didn’t want to do it, but after that weird dream, he thought maybe… It wouldn’t hurt.

“Sure, whatever, I’ll do it, Koizumi.”

“Really?!” She coughed, “thank you, you are a competent man, Hinata. A reliable man like you is rare.”

“Yeah…”

She handed him the tray and ran off before Hinata could back out.

[Maybe I shouldn’t think too hard about it…]

-

“Hahaha, hey Kamukura-senpai~! Guess what!” She jumped and jumped in front of Kamukura, “come onnnnnnn! Pay attention to me!!”

Kamukura didn’t move his head to look at her, “what is it?”

“That guy you like it all tied up in the place where the shapeshifter died! Doesn’t that make you feel something?” She hugs herself, and drool goes down her chin, “doesn’t it awaken something within you?”

“Even if it did, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Oooh, being so mysterious~! I know deep down it triggers something in you.”

“… Maybe it was a bad idea to see what you were up to.” Nanami appears behind the two, and she sighs. “I just wanted to see what you were scheming, probably.”

“Nanami-senpai! It’s *great* to see you!” She grabs her arms and pulls her to see what they are watching. “Dontcha wanna watch the action with us?”

Nanami looks down at the scene, it’s Komaeda and “Hinata” in the cabin having a conversation. “What are you talking about?”

“I can just feel the lustful energy coming off those two! So I’m watching to make sure nothing goes down, because if it does!” She points a finger to her face, “I’ll just have to butt in and stop it! It’s against the rules, after all.”

“… Right…”

“Y-you don’t believe meeeee!” She starts to fake cry, drying her tears. “I pwomise I’m not some pervert, Nanami-senpai~! It’s j-just to make sure nothing freaky happens!”

Nanami’s mouth goes lopsided and her eyebrows are frilled. “Okay… Just… Stop…”

Enoshima makes a peace sign, and hugs Nanami by the neck, “I’ll never stop not even after death!”

“You’re already dead,” Kamukura speaks up, still not looking at the two women.

“Ahaha yeahh, thanks for reviving me, bestie!”

“Uhuh.”

“Grrrr, he’s not giving us proper attention. Maybe he’s more into that junk down there than I originally thought.”

Kamukura has been barely listening to her ramble since he wanted to see how his body double was doing instead. After what they discussed last night, he was curious about how he’d react to the man now.

His head was filled with “Hinata’s” thoughts, although what the two men were saying was a little muffled since they were high above them. Of course, for the Ultimate Musician, it was clear as crystal.

“I’m so glad it was you who came to see me, Hinata-kun.”

“It was only because Koizumi asked me to.”

“Oh! Did she trick you into doing it? I know earlier she was cursing me out for saying I don’t like rice.”

“She mentioned that…” He carefully put the food tray in front of the man, “she didn’t trick me or anything, just asked me to do it… And I guess I felt bad for her enough to do her this favor.” He crossed his arms, “don’t look too heavily into it, it’s not that deep.”

“If you say so…” Komaeda pulls at the ropes around his arms, “well, isn’t that inconvenient.” He smiled at the other man, it made “Hinata’s” hair stick on end. “I can’t feed myself with my arms tied up like this. Hinata-kun, could you feed me?”

He stood there in shock, he didn’t answer immediately.

Kamukura was captivated by the exchange, he wondered what would happen if “Hinata” helped Komaeda. Of course, that thought reverbed, and “Hinata” heard it in his head. It made his mind race more than before, the possibilities “Hinata” thought of were much more creative than Kamukura’s were.

“Hiinata” felt guilty about his anger towards the man, it felt displaced. Being tied up was a tad extreme in his opinion. Sure, he helped plan a murder, but right now there isn’t any motive to kill anyone. Plus, he doesn’t look very intimating right now, just pathetic and kinda pitiful.

Maybe it was because he was laying on the floor in an uncomfortable position with his face squished into the floor. He really looked like he took a beating and was left for dead.

Kamukura couldn’t help but see Servant more in Komaeda today, and that reflected back to “Hinata”. The chain on him especially was a call back that Kamukura couldn’t help but hold onto. Even back then he thought it was an unnecessary accessory, but he was always told how it wasn’t. 

I cannot begin to understand him, but I want to make an attempt to.

And “Hinata” mirrored that sentiment.

“Fine,” he sat down in front of him. “Just don’t be weird about it.”

Komaeda didn’t reply immediately like he was thinking of what to say. “… I didn’t think you’d actually agree. I suppose it must be the good luck I got out of bad luck of being tied up.”

“Hinata” sighs, “please, don’t make me regret this.” He looked Komaeda up and down, “oh *shit* wait, is it okay if I touch you so I can make you sit up?”

“You can do whatever you want to me, I don’t mind.”

He paused and gulped, ��… Yeah, sure…” He grabs the other man’s shoulders and moves him to a sitting position. “Umm… Are you comfortable?”

“Yep! Thank you for doing this for me, Hinata-kun! You really didn’t have to help trash like me, it would have been fine to leave me to starve.” He smiled at the other, “yet, here you are staying with me and willing to help.”

“It’s just human decency, I can’t just leave you to starve until someone else remembers to feed you.” He grabs the milk bottle and opens it, “and we both know that’s not happening. Here, drink some.”

Komaeda stayed quiet and drank. “Hinata” took the bottle away and grabbed the toast. “Out of everyone on this island, you are seemingly the only one who tolerates me.” He laughs at that thought, “I really wonder why that is.”

“Yeah, well, keep wondering because I don’t know either.” He shoves the toast in Komaeda’s face, “eat.”

He took a few small bites, “interesting. So you don’t know how you feel about me? Well, that is at least better than the alternative of you hating me.”

“Hinata” didn’t say anything to that, all he did was sigh. His face turned serious like he was thinking hard. He put the toast back down and rested his hand on his lap. “I don’t want to judge you too harshly before I understand you is all. I already told you not to look too deep into it.” He starts to stand up, “look you ate enough to live until lunch, so I’m gonna head out.“

“Awww, going so soon, Hinata-kun? I didn’t even finish all the food.”

“I said I’m gonna head out. See ya later Komaeda.”

“Hinata” kept a cool composer as he left the man alone, it made Komaeda speechless. He really thought he’d make more of a huff and puff about the questions he asked. And like that the other was gone.

“See ya, Hinata-kun.”

Kamukura found the whole situation engaging like he was part of the conservation. And maybe he was more of an influence on “Hinata” than he thought. It would make sense based on how he left the situation so calmly.

Even then, he wished “Hinata” stayed a little longer.

“Wooow! That display was sooo fruity!” Enoshima laughed at Kamukura’s side. “I am *so* glad I didn’t have to stop anything spicy from happening!” She gasps dramatically, “so so sowwy Kamukura-senpai I know you wanted to see something *intewesting*.”

“Did you want something from me?”

“Besides some di-”

“Stop. Did Nanami leave?”

She crossed her arms and puffed out her cheeks, “yeah she did the big meanie. She called me names and everything!”

“Knowing you it seems warranted.”

“Not you too, Kamukura-senpai!” She starts to fake cry, “you’re lucky the rules don’t apply to you since you’re not a student.”

Kamukura looks back down at Komaeda, “it wouldn’t matter to me either way.”

“God sometimes the responses you say are so boringggg.” She turns around and leaves.

Now, Kamukura is alone with his thoughts. He could have had a bigger influence on “Hinata” if he tried, to make him talk to Komaeda more in a better effort to understand him.

Yet, that idea felt immoral to him. If he truly wanted to understand Komaeda, he had to understand “Hinata” first.

-

Enoshima’s next scheme was the despair disease; Owari, Mioda, and Komaeda were deathly ill. The whole island split into groups to quarantine. “Hinata” and Kuzuryu were in the group with the ill and Tsumiki, while everyone else was in another location.

Due to this, Kamukura couldn’t meet Nanami at all, as she had to make sure no one found her missing. So, he decided it would be best to hang out in the hospital with his body double and everyone else.

Plus, Komaeda was there so it was an added bonus. Although, he was in the worst condition compared to the rest of the sick. It all made sense to Kamukura why that was the case, but for his body double, he was very worried.

It became very real that Komaeda could die soon. He was stuck in a fever-induced coma, so Tsumiki didn’t allow “Hinata” to be around much.

But Kamukura could be around the man as much as he wanted. It wasn’t like Tsumiki could do anything about it. Although, it did make Enoshima more annoying.

Enoshima stood next to Kamukura and slapped him on the back hard. “Heyyy, bestie. Whatcha doing around the sick freak?” She started to giggle, “SEE I have jokes too!”

“It wasn’t a very good one. That pun wasn’t clear or clever.”

“Ahhh, shhhh!” She put her finger to his mouth, “shush my sweet prince.”

He pushed her hand aside, “did you want something from me?”

“I just wanted to know why you’re sticking around on the ground, not like you get anything out of it.” She looked at the ill man sleeping in bed, “riiiiight?”

“It should be obvious to you why I’m here.” He sat on the foot of Komaeda’s bed, “I’m bored.”

“Hmmmm. Yeah! That makes both of us, bff.” She sat on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, “ya know I don’t know why you focus on him of all people, did you have some fun escapade after I died or some shit?”

“You could say that.”

“Ooooooh, fun! Give me all the deets!”

“That Kotoko girl you kidnapped sounds just like you sometimes.”

“Oh, so you’re giving me vague-ass responses now.” She held him tighter, putting her face against his cheek. “You know I know that you two were watching my little freaks after I died. Didn’t realize you cared about them enough to remember a fuck all detail like that!. You didn’t hang out a lot, so you really did seem like a deadbeat dad who left to go get milk.”

He didn’t say anything to that.

“Oh~ sweetie pie, did I touch a nerve?” She kicks her feet and squeals, “I’ve never done that to you before! Something is def making you more emotional, huh??” She slapped his cheek, “maybe that Hinata guy is the culprit, he *is* those missing emotions.” She smiled unnaturally wide, “or… Maybe Komaeda did? Wouldn’t that be so cliche? You were changed by a man of all things!” She giggles and it sounds like a banshee, “ohhh the drama!”

“I don’t know either.” He pushed her off and she landed with a whine, “and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”

“Godd, you’re no fun!” She fake cries and stomps her feet, “fine, I’ll go bug someone else.” She makes a peach sign, “later loser.” And like that she’s gone.

Kamukura sighs and looks down to look at Komaeda’s face. He was still pale and red-faced, he looked more dead than alive with his baggy eyes and non-moving chest. Kamukura wished he could comfort him in some way, but he was unable to be perceived by the other man.

He went to move the hair out of his face, but his fingers went thru it. If he calculated it, he could make an object in the room move it for him. Yet, it would be pointless to do so. If Enoshima found out he found a way to do that, she’d freak. Plus, he wanted a real hand to comfort him.

He didn’t know why he felt so sentimental towards the man, but his feelings wrecked his brain and chest.

It seemed his only option was to get “Hinata” to comfort Komaeda for Kamukura. Since it was his body double, it was almost like he was doing the comforting.

Of course, he knew it wasn’t the case, but what else can he do besides that?

Even if it wasn’t Kamukura, Komaeda needed to have some comfort. Plus, with a little pulling of strings, he could get “Hinata” to do as he wanted. 

Yet, Kamukura thought maybe it might be wrong to control another person, even if they share a body.

But were they really different people?

-

Hinata is very tired, he’s been worried sick about his friend.

[Is it okay to call Komaeda a friend?]

He decided to not think over it.

He was back in this dark space with the door. He opened it for the first time in a while.

The black figure looked up from their lap, “ah, hello Hinata.”

“Hajime is fine. I mean, you’re me so like… Just be casual. It’s just us… Me.” He grabbed his hair, “god this shit is confusing.” He sat down in front of the figure and rested his arms on the table leaning forward. “That reminds me, what should I call you? I’ve just seen you as this… Black abyss person thing.”

“I have a name, but you don’t want to know it quite yet. It could trigger something bad.”

“Right,” he didn’t want to know. “I’ll just call you… Umm… Emo… Edgelord… Punk guy… Something like that. God, those are shitty ideas though, right?”

The figure just stared at him.

“I knew you’d agree.” He laughed awkwardly, “Shadow? Because I literally can’t see your face or anything about you. Like those shadow clones from video games… Oh, fuck you’re the Shadow to my Sonic.”

“I suppose you’re right about that. I think ‘Shadow’ is a good nickname. The previous ones were awful.”

“Fuck you, man.” He laughs, “ahh, for real though, I’m glad you like it.”

“And thank you for giving me one. My real name wasn’t as thoughtful.

“I see… Well… Umm…” Hinata became at a loss for words, “did you wanna talk about anything?”

“Yes actually,” he placed his hands on his lap, “it’s about Komaeda.”

He jumped slightly in shock, “that is seemingly the only thing you want to talk about.”

“Says a lot about you, doesn’t it?”

“Oh, shut up…”

Shadow sighs, “but it’s true. He’s sick and we’re worried sick.”

“Haha…”

“The pun was not intentional.” They cough into their hand, “anyways, I have an idea of why he is so sick. I know you don’t know exactly who or what I am, but I possess different memories from you.”

Hinata stood up straighter, “do you remember my talent?”

“I don’t want to answer that.”

“Why the fuck not?”

“You need to figure it out yourself.”

“But you *are* me!” He crossed his arms, “don’t give me this fucking bullshit about ‘figuring it out myself’.’”

“I’m sorry.”

They sat in silence for a while, neither of them knowing what to say. Hinata was still a bit attached to what Shadow wanted to say earlier, so he didn’t want to leave yet.

“It’s… Okay, Shadow.” Hinata sighed, and leaned back in his seat. “What were you saying before about Komaeda?”

“He is sick.”

“Yes, I knew that already genius.”

“No, he was sick before the despair disease, that’s why he’s sicker than the rest, *genius*.”

“… What?”

“He will be fine eventually, he always springs back up.”

“How do you know this?”

Shadow looked at him, thinking over what to say. “I suppose it will be alright if I say this, but you knew Komaeda before you meet him on the island.”

He rubbed back his hair roughly, grabbing at the strands. “… I had a feeling that was the case.”

“Good. It’s better to not explain that.”

“Fuck you.”

“You know whenever you refer to me, it also applies to you?”

“Don’t even try that, Shadow, you’ve also been insulting me.”

“Touche.” He puts his hands together on the table and leans forwards, “anyways, just know Komaeda will be just fine. Well, for the most part.”

“Alrighty, Mr. Mysterious Shadow Clone. Don’t explain jack shit to me.”

“If I did you wouldn’t believe a word I said. Either way, I don’t want to tell you everything yet.”

“Fun.”

(Hinata! Hey!!)

“Did you hear that too?” Hinata looked at Shadow.

“Yes. I believe it’s coming from the outside world.”

“What the fuck…”

(Hey asshole wake up already! It’s Komaeda!)

-

“What…” “Hajime” was laying down in a hospital bed. He sat up and bumped his head into someone else’s.

“Hinata, OW!” Kuzuryu grabbed his head, “what the fuck man! I just wanted to wake you up.” He groaned, “gahhh Komaeda’s awake, Tsumiki just told me. I rushed to tell you.” He regains his composer, “come on man, let’s so see how he’s doing.”

[That is a fucking crazy ass coincidence… Unless… Fuck I’m not gonna think over it.]

The two rushed downstairs. Once they got to the door, Kuzuryu slammed it open, scaring Tsumiki.

She jumped in her seat, “oh gosh! Haaa, you woke me up, Kuzuryu-san…” Her eyes were drooping, and she began to cry. “I’m s-so sorry, I don’t blame yo-you or anything! I should have been awake, but I’ve just-just been so tired!” 

“It’s… Fine… Just stop crying over it…” Kuzuryu looked equally uncomfortable and worried.

She wheezed and snuffled, “of course… It’s n-not like it matters anyways.” She looks at Komaeda, “Komaeda-san is awake now. His condition has stabilized and his fever has gone down. Although, it is still high.” She looks back at the two, “oh! Right, I need to check on the other two now!” She stands up abruptly and almost falls over, “please carry on!”

Kamukura sighed, it sounded dejected. He was concerned about Komaeda’s health and wished he could be there for him. Although, “Hajime” should be good enough.

Then Enoshima giggled at his side.

“So, you’re at the hospital again?” Kamukura glanced in her direction.

“Yeppers! I got bored bothering that gamer girl. She just plays games and ignores me.” She pulls on her pigtails, “the absolute gaul!”

“And I’m your only other option.”

“Nuh-uh! I could have used a Monokuma to bother my students, but the ones who are fun to bother aren’t really all there right now. HA, although I was fucking with Souda for a while.” She puts her hands to her hips, “what grease stain, he is just so easy to make fun of it gets boring fast.”

“Uh-huh.”

“Oh, don’t be boring now!” She stomps her feet, “what am I supposed to do then?”

“Maybe you should find a new hobby.”

“Awww, it’s hard to do that when you’re an AI stuck in a therapy computer simulation, ya know.”

“Of course.”

“Ahhh, anyways. I heard your sigh of concern!” She giggled again, “it is sooooo funny how being put into this dating sim made you so emotional.”

Kamukura looked at her from the corner of his eyes, “you’re right.”

“Waaaaa?!?!” She put her arms up and gawked at him, “you’re agreeing with little ol’ me?”

“Did you know me entering the program would bring back ‘Hajime’?”

She starts cackling, “mayyyybe~.”

“Alright, Hinata, I’m gonna head back to the waiting room since it’s almost time for the meeting. You can stay back if ya wanna.” He opens the door, “see ya.”

The door clicked shut and the room became silent.

“This should be entertaining, right, Zuzu?” She giggled and kicked her feet.

Kamukura didn’t acknowledge her.

“It’s awful to see you, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda smiled at the man with his hands in his lap.

“Hajime” stood next to him, he scratched the back of his head. “Ya know, that’s not a nice thing to say to someone who *chose* to visit you.”

Komaeda’s stare felt a little more intense after he said that.

Kamukura grunts in annoyance, and Enoshima snickers. “Not the brightest tool in the shed, ain’t he?”

Don’t you remember he has the lying disease? Don’t be so presumptuous.

“Hajime” stood up straighter and put his arm down, his eyes widened. “Oh wait… You have the lying disease.” He laughed awkwardly, “sorry, I umm really need to think before I say shit. Jesus, I sound like an asshole right now.”

Komaeda laughed, but it turned into a gross and dry cough. “You sure do! Worry about it, because it really bothers me.”

“Hajime” looked at him with a serious expression for a minute, and then snapped his fingers. “Oh, if you didn’t mind it then, I’ll just move on then.” He grabbed the chair and moved it to sit next to the man, “are you doing better than before? You were out for a long time… I- WE were very worried.”

“Oh, I’m doing great! The fever has lessened, just as Tsumiki said! I’m actually doing worst since you’re here. Maybe you should just leave.”

“What?” His tone was immediate and upset, he almost didn’t have time to think. As he started to stand up, he got a sudden pain in his head.

Don’t run away , it said. It was like there was a second voice in his head he never paid mind to. Yet, this voice was *his*. Maybe his dreams had more meaning than he previously thought.

“Hajime” stayed sitting, and put his hands together on his lap. “You really want *me* to stay with you?”

“No.”

“Okay then, I’ll stay for as long as I can.” He laughs, “you must have been bored and lonely for the past few days, huh? I mean you even *asked* me to stay with you, it’s kinda funny when you think about it.”

“It really is! I can clearly see why you’d think that.”

“Even in this state, you act like that huh… Whatever it doesn’t matter.” He leans forward, “what don’t you understand then?”

“Why it’s not funny.”

“Hajime” took a minute to think that over, not wanting to explain it. “Well, I thought you’d want someone else…”

Kamukura *knew* he was still not sharing the whole truth, but this time he wouldn’t intervene.

“That makes no sense. I would prefer someone else, of course.”

“Oh.” He stood up straight again, “that’s… Nice to hear.

“It makes sense why it would, right? I mean I am a great, beautiful person.” Komaeda groaned after saying that, he held his head with his hands. “I really am so wonderful.”

“Yeah…” He chuckled, “I think I prefer you this way. You know your self-depreciation gets on everyone’s nerves.”

“I know that, but they still shouldn’t know.”

“Hajime” looked at him with a confused expression, he was unable to translate that sentence.

Kamukura bought a hand to his face. Enoshima giggled and kicked her feet at the motion.

He doesn’t understand why people hate it when he tells them how awful he is, since he sees it as the truth he must share.

“Yes… I understand.” He shook his head and looked at Komaeda again. “Well, I don’t think that way, and I’m sure at least *one* other person here agrees. I mean, you’re not as awful as you say you are.”

“I believe you.”

“Oh gre- … Komaeda… Why would I lie to you?”

“It would be very unfunny and difficult.”

“Uh-huh, sure man.” He sighs, “it is kinda hard to talk to you right now. Hell, I could have left a long ass time ago back when you said you didn’t want me to be here. But, here I am.” He gestures to himself, “I don’t fully understand why *I* chose to stay here, but maybe - just maybe - I am worried about a fellow human being and classmate.” He clicks his tongue, “so don’t worry about it too much.”

“No thanks, Hinata-kun.”

“Great.”

The two continued to talk but Kamukura stopped paying attention for a moment.

“Hajime” seemed to mirror his feelings and thoughts more than he previously considered, it was blurring the line between consciousnesses now. It was like there was no separation besides memories. Now, Kamukura was thinking that could be the case.

He wondered who was the one who began to like Komaeda first. It should have been him, after all, he knew the man first. However, he did not have any of “Hajime’s” memories either. So it was something he could not figure out on his own.

Although, getting “Hajime” to share these feelings seemed like a big undertaking to Kamukura.

-

The remaining remnants were trapped in Fun House, with no food or water. They would not be released until someone was killed. They decided to group the boys and girls into different houses, with “Hajime” staying with the girls.

The elevator that connected the two houses was broken, so “Hajime” couldn’t interact with any of the other boys.

For Kamukura, this meant he was sending all his time at Grape House watching over the boys. Of course, most of his energy was focused on Komaeda.

Of course, he also was interested in the Final Dead Room. When Monokuma said there are secrets waiting there for those who dare enter; he just had to check it out.

Being an AI not set as a student, he was able to enter the room with no fuss. The only difficulty proved to be finding the files she promised. Kamukura couldn’t interact with most things, so he had to look through the code to find it. Yet, Enoshima hid it well.

“Oh, Kamukura-senpai~! I *know* you’re looking through the code I made.” She leans against his shoulder and puts the back of her hand on her forehead. “I feel so violated! You pervert looking through my files!”

“You mentioned to the remnants that you stored secrets in here. I’m only looking for those.”

“Oh, wow, I didn’t realize you’d care about those.” She crossed her arms, “I thought you knew everything about these guys.” She laughs, “I made sure I didn’t share *too* much info in these. I really doubt you’d find anything new in those.” She snaps her fingers, making a file folder appear in her hands. “You know what, I don’t really care either way.” She hands the folder to the man, “here.”

Kamukura holds the folder in his hands, he looks at it, and then back up at Enoshima.

“Oh, come on! Don’t make me regret it!”’

A door opening could be heard, and the two turned to look at it. It was Tanaka at the door.

“Omgomgomgomg!!” She sends a Monokuma into the room, immediately talking to the man.

Kamukura takes this as his chance to leave.

-

Kamukura had suspicions of this, but now they were confirmed. He already knew “Hajime” was a Reserve Course student with no talent. It’s no wonder he cannot remember his talent, he must have blocked out that he’s talentless since he hated that fact.

Besides that, everything else in the folder was true and basic. Just the student files of each remnant, what they did as remnants, and such. It got into gory detail, which isn’t surprising knowing Enoshima.

In the end, it was worth it to read the folder. Even if it didn’t share much new information for Kamukura, he at least got confirmation about “Hajime”.

He admits his past self fascinates him to no end, it wasn’t always like that. Yet, after watching him for weeks and having conversations with him; he can’t deny there is *something* there. Especially since they had this emotional link now, if Kamukura understood “Hajime” more, he’d be able to understand anyone.

Of course, his focus was on Komaeda. Since neither he nor “Hajime” could understand the man.

In the Fun House, the two men have been spending their free time together. Since Kamukura nudged “Hajime” to give Komaeda a chance and understand him before he makes a judgment.

Although, there were some times “Hajime” got too prickly or when Komaeda got too intense.

It was riveting to watch nonetheless.

“What in the world *is* hope to you, anyways?” “Hajime” stood across from Komaeda with his arms crossed. 

[I’m starting to regret listening to his freak of a shadow clone, but hey dreams are supposed to be subconscious thoughts or some shit. Maybe I really *want* to understand this… Guy.]

“Why am I so misunderstood… It’s just something I want to believe in. You really need to think it over seriously. What do you think hope is?”

[He’s right I never thought about it before. Well, for him it’d be…]

Kamukura had a very specific view on hope since he was created to be the Ultimate Hope after all.

It was a complex and personal opinion, even if he wouldn’t admit it. He was just like Komaeda in that way, but they did reach different outcomes. 

This whole killing game is so Kamukura can see which is better; hope or despair. Currently, he still can’t say which one will win.

Now they were presented with the question, but surprisingly, it was “Hajime” that was able to answer.

“It’s… Absolute good.”

Komaeda clapped his hands together with a smile, “that’s exactly it! And it’s something you guys can embody… As long as the seeds of hope are planted, I’ll gladly kill or be killed.” He laughs, “the fact that I’m still alive is hope in itself!”

[I still have no clue what he’s talking about… It doesn’t seem like he does this for his selfish desires… Which freaks me out more somehow…]

“Huh, Hinata-kun are we done talking? You have this vacant look on your face… We can talk later, right?” He turns away, “after all, we’re both friends who yearn for hope.”

“Hajime” watches him leave, and Kamukura mirrored the same sentiment as him.

[Do we really share the same type of hope?]

-

Kamukura didn’t have much to do at night, it wasn’t like he needed to sleep.

So of course, a loud bang in the middle of the night caught his attention.

Once he got where the sound came from, he was greeted by Enoshima.

“Fucking crazy, right? That goth furry killed a robot. And I *just* brought that fucker back to life.” She laughs and then breathes out suddenly, “it’s sooooo cool though, right? Like the way he figured out to kill a beast like that, I’m impressed!” She grabbed Kamukura’s right arm and held it close to her chest, “what do you think, Kamukura-senpai~?”

“It’s… Tragic.”

“WOOAAHH!! I didn’t think I’d get an answer like *that*” She pulled his arm down, and look at his face. “You’re been more emotionally available recently, what the fuck is wrong with you? I thought those old fucks’ did a better job of getting rid of your emotions.”

“We both know you already know the answer to that question.”

“Jeez! You’re really no fun!” She stomped her feet and puffed out her cheeks, “you can never play along, huh?”

“I can, just not the way you want me to.”

She pulled on her pigtails and screamed in annoyance.

“*God*, I love the way you make me feel sometimes… It makes me feel such wonderful despair!” She dances her finger on his chest, “I don’t know why you can’t feel the same towards me!”

“Says the one who said I don’t feel emotions.”

“Touche.”

-

Komaeda proved to be especially captivating to Kamukura recently. After the boys found out what happened to Nidai, Komaeda went to the Final Dead Room.

Of course, Kamukura followed.

Komaeda entered the room, and the door shut behind him.

“So this is the Final Dead room… It’s eerie, hope I don’t get scared!”

“Oh no, I thought that could be my way out… Wait, Komaeda-kun…?”

“Monomi-san..? What are you doing here?”

“Ooooh, I’m trapped in here. I hear the body discovery announcement… I thought it would happen here…””

“And then you got locked in. I see, you’re a fool from head to toe.”

“Yeah… I’m embarrassed…!”

“Not like I care much. Just don’t get in the way.”

“Of course! Just ask when you need help, okay?” Then Monomi notices Kamukura behind Komaeda, “what… why are you her-”

Kamukura made a shushing movement, “don’t you make my presence known.”

“…Monomi-san, did you say something?”

“NOPE! I’m just thinking out loud…”

“Please refrain from doing that, I need to focus in silence.”

She nodded quickly, then she looks at Kamukura. She sweats and tears up.

“I’ll only talk to you with yes or no questions, so just shake your head and stay quiet, okay?”

She nods.

Komaeda goes to the bars, “looks like we can’t get out of here until those get out of the way.”

“Yeah… I tried to open them but my arms weren’t strong enough.”

Komaeda looked at her with a neutral expression, “you tried to pry them open?”

“… It sounds silly when you say it like that…”

Kamukura doesn’t look at Monomi, still focused on Komaeda. “Did Monokuma prevent you from teleporting out of the room?”

Monomi jumped and opened her mouth. Then remembering what she was told, covered it with her paws. She nodded.

“He must have thought it was funny to make you do the game yourself, then.”

Monomi cried.

Komaeda peaked his head into the closet, not looking at Monomi. “Monomi-san, are you crying? Do you think you can do it silently?” He held a wired hanger, “I’m trying to think here.”

Monomi looked at Kamukura, her eyes were glossy.

“Don’t look at me like that. If anything you being here is more distracting than what I could ever be.” Kamukura sat next to her, “at least he can see you and talk with you.”

She looked at him with a curious look, “are you jealous?” She whispered into his ear.

Kamukura looked at Komaeda. He was at the desk looking over a piece of paper, he didn’t react to what Monomi said.

“Perhaps. It is rather inconvenient to be invisible, but Enoshima thought it’d be funny if I couldn’t be seen. She acts like I’m some ghost.”

Monomi giggled.

“Monomi-san,” Komaeda turned and looked at her. “Are you laughing at my total incompetence? Well, I think it’s a little harsh to judge before I even finished trying, but I understand the judgment!”

“Oh, Komaeda-kun, I could *never* judge you! You are one of my wonderful students! I’m only laughing because… I remembered… Umm..” She looked at Kamukura for help.

“Say the code on the paper is nautical directions.”

“Oh, the code on the paper is nautical directions.”

Komaeda looked at her for a moment, thinking it over. “Yeah, that makes sense… You must have seen this before I came in.” He looks at the numbers written on the walls, “I’m surprised you figured it out! I didn’t take your seriously when you said you’d help, thanks.”

She’s aghast, “… thanks…umm… you’re welcome?”

Komaeda goes to the combination safe and enters the code, it opens up. “Well, look at that! You were right Monomi.” He grabs the camera and USB stick.

Monomi looks at Kamukura, “thanks…”

“Now what to do with these…” Komaeda goes back to his deep thinking, ignoring Monomi.

Kamukura sighs, “you never looked around did you?”

Monomi looks at her paws and shakes her head.

“It’s been about two hours since you got in here, and you didn’t think once to look around to find a way to escape?”

“I didn’t want to have to shoot myself, is that so crazy?”

Komaeda whipped his head in her direction, “Monomi-san, are you okay? Are you talking to yourself or… Are you talking to someone else?” He holds the hook he made to his chest, “maybe you’re just talking to a pretend friend because talking to me would be an awful experience, right?”

“No, no nothing like that! I… Have been talking to you… I just…” She looks at Kamukura again.

“Say you had a moment of stress.”

“I… Am just stressed… That’s all…”

“Sure, whatever you say.” Komaeda didn’t believe her but didn’t have enough evidence to point fingers yet. So he left it be.

He knelt next to the bed and used the hook to try to grab something hiding under it.

Kamukura watched him from behind.

Monomi hit Kamukura on the shoulder, “that’s not school appropriate, stop looking!” She screamed in a whisper.

“Monomi-san,” Komaeda didn’t stop what he was doing, “I’m starting to think you’re talking to your invisible friend.”

“I don’t have an invisible… Friend…” She covered her eyes, “I’m just saying my thoughts out loud…”

Kamukura sighs, “saying that doesn’t make you look good.” He didn’t look away from the view.

“I would never treat my students that way!”

“I’m sure you wouldn’t, Monomi-san… I’m more concerned about your mental state now.” Komaeda stood up and dusted himself up, “are you stable enough to be a teacher?”

“Komaeda-kun, I am *very* mentally healthy! I was programmed to be the perfect teacher after all.” She puffed out her chest.

He held a key in his hands. “They must have not had good experiences with teachers then.”

“My programmer had one of the best teachers ever! Plus, she-”

Komaeda opened the locked drawer and held the scissors it contained. He looked back at her, “she what?”

“I don’t think I should say…”

“Okay, I’m not good enough to share secrets with anyways.”

“That’s not…”

Komaeda cut open the Monokuma plushie with the scissors and pulled out batteries.

Kamukura stares at the destroyed Monokuma, “seeing that reminds me of our past.”

She leans in and whispers, “our..?”

“I and Komaeda used to destroy Monokumas for fun. Well, it was fun for him. He enjoyed watching me easily dispose of them. I didn’t feel anything, but he enjoyed it so I did it.”

“Oh, I see you wanted to make him happy!” She giggled.

“Monomi-san.” Komaeda didn’t look at her, his eyes were focused on the computer screen. “Who are you talking to?”

Kamukura sighed, “you really need to learn to not speak.”

“I- I just… Wanted to say that… No reason…”

Komaeda sighed and looked at her. “Are you referring to me in that statement? Am I the ‘you’ or the ‘him’, or am I presumptuous to even imagine myself in such a situation?”

Monomi squealed, she looked at Kamukura who was glaring at her. “I don’t… Want to say…”

“Okay. I don’t deserve an answer anyways.” He sighs, “you’re really not helping me by babbling nonsense. I told you to stay out of the way… Hmm, maybe that was selfish of me to ask for such a thing. Although, I asked *you* so is it really that selfish?”

Monomi was crying, and Kamukura crossed his arms. “Ask him what he’s trying to do.”

“Komaeda-kun… I want to be useful… What are you trying to do?”

“Well, I’m trying to figure out the code for the computer. Not quite sure what to put. I don’t expect you to know it.”

“Don’t be so sure… I…” She looks at Kamukura, “can help…” She walks over to the man, and motions for Kamukura to follow.

She looked at the screen, “oh umm… Yeah… It must be… The…”

Kamukura looked over Komaeda’s shoulder, it was obvious what the answer was to him. And he could tell it was to Komaeda too. He must be playing dumb so Monomi can tell him the answer. So he does this game outside of trials too.

“Ask to see the camera and memo.”

“‘Can I see the camera and memo you found?”

Komaeda’s eyes lit up, “of course.”

Kamukura and Monomi looked at the items.

Kamukura looked at the screen again, “tell him it’s the first letter of the planets, in the order of the planets. That’s the code.”

“It looks like the code is the first letter of the planets, in order.”

Komaeda clapped his hands together, “wonderful job, Monomi-san! Your hope is shining bright, I would have never expected it!”

“Thanks, I think.”

Kamukura felt a fuzzy feeling in his chest, but he didn’t know why.

Komaeda entered the code on the screen, then the computer screen showed a grid of dots with numbers.

“It looks like a game of Othello…” Komaeda sighed, “that doesn’t sound right.” He looks at the digital clock, “maybe the lights on that correspond to a number here.”

“Well, even if it does, how will you enter numbers on it?”

“There is only one thing here that can input numbers, of course, that’s the answer!”

Monomi steps back, “of course…”

Komaeda enters the code into the combination safe, and then the bars lower into the ground.

“Yay! Komaeda we did it with our combined powers. We cleared the room!” She waves at Kamukura as a ‘thank you’.

“Who cares about clearing it…? Why doesn’t it feel like the exit isn’t open?”

“It’s not open..?” She tries to open the door, “ahhh! It’s not open?!”

“I just told you that…”

“The game musn’t be over yet.”

“Oh, I wonder if this has anything to do with the paper I found when I came in here. I thought it was just a joke…”

“Is there something you want to share?”

“I got a letter when I first got in here, I thought it was a joke so… I forgot to tell you about it…”

“Enough with the excuses. Hurry up and show it to me.”

She sheepishly hands it to him.

He reads the note, “looks like I need to play Russian Roulette in order to get out of here.”

“W-what?! You can’t do that! That’s too dangerous!”

“How is that dangerous?”

“It’s Russian Roulette! You know you have to put one bullet into the barrel and spin it the shot yourself! That means you have a one in a sixth chance of death! How is that not dangerous?!”

“That’s a pretty small likelihood of getting killed. I mean it’s only one-sixth of a chance. Doesn’t that seem easy to you? It should be the opposite, I’ll remove a bullet so there are five bullets loaded. So that would be one-sixth of success.” He laughs, “wouldn’t that be more thrilling?”

“Y-you’d actually do that?”

“Yep, I’m doing it right now!”

“Noo!” She looks at Kamukura, “was he always like this?”

Kamukura looks fond, “yes.”

“Komaeda-kun, why??”

“Since my talent is luck, that should mean I should survive. If I didn’t survive with a one-sixth chance, is my luck really ultimate?”

“P-please stop…”

He fires, and the gun clicks. No bullet came out just like he hoped. In response, the door clicked open.

“Haha, looks like we finally cleared the Final Dead Room!”

“I’m… Scared of you Komaeda-kun…” She looks at Kamukura, “I’m scared of you…”

“Oh, really?” He shrugs, “oh, well, let’s go then. The Octagon should be beyond that door.”

They go through the door. There are boxes of weapons lining and walls, and a window at the end of the hallway.

Monokuma appears out of nowhere to greet them, “congrats, Komaeda. You completed the Final Dead Room.”

Monomi squealed, “ahhh, he’s here too??”

Monokuma ignores her, “and on the highest difficulty too! I got a special present just for you!” He hands him the Future Foundation file.

“Wait, didn’t we already get this?”

“It’s extra info I left out before, haha. Couldn’t have all of you guys knowing everything, now can I?”

Monomi huffs, “did you get that without permission?!”

She is ignored again, “and here are your student files from Hope’s Peak!” He hands the folder to Komaeda.

His eyes light up, “I can’t believe this…”

Monokuma looks Kamukura dead in the eyes, “I’m sure you’ll find stuff in there that tickles your fancy.” He giggles, “I wonder if it’s lucky or unlucky that *you* of all people got to see this. Well either way you’re gonna make things more interesting.” He looks at Kamukura again, “and isn’t that *exactly* what you wanted?”

Komaeda raises a brow, “what do you mean by ‘you’?”

“Whelp, I gotta get going now! Come on Monomi, you cheater!” He grabs her arm aggressively and drags her back to the door, “you didn’t finish the game yet!”

The two left the room screaming their own woes.

Komaeda looks at the student folder, “looks like I’m alone now.” He sighs, “I’ll deal with you later.” He puts the folder in his jacket and begins to look around the room.

Kamukura watches him in silence, sure if he wanted he could speak. It wasn’t like Komaeda could hear him, but what would be the point?

He moved aside to let Komaeda move around and peeked over his shoulder when he inspected objects. He acted like he was investigating with him, or maybe it was more like watching an animal to him. He couldn’t quite place the feeling.

Komaeda spoke quietly to himself while he was looking around, like doing so made him feel like he wasn’t alone. He had this strange sense that he wasn’t alone too.

“Usually, I always feel like someone is watching and judging me… But now…” He opens a fridge, “it’s more like a curious stare, I don’t know how to describe it.” He laughs and closes the door, “maybe that poison would be useful, huh? Maybe you agree, maybe not. Not like you can respond.”

Kamukura’s eyes widen slightly, “knowing you you’d find a use for it.”

“It doesn’t matter anyways, I figure something out if I need to.” He looks at the door on the floor, “wait… I’m on the 1st floor, right? There wasn’t a bunker in the sketch… Huh…” He laughs, “this got interesting..!”

He turned the corner and walked over to the window, “why would there be a window here?” He steps closer, “in actuality, what could this mean?” He looks through the window and laughs. He laughs long and loud, it turns raspy after a while. He suddenly stops himself, “it all makes sense now.”

Kamukura stood next to him, his head hovering over his shoulder. “I knew you would figure it out.” There was a fondness in his tone that he didn’t know he could muster.

Komaeda was proving the fight between hope and despair could be interesting.

-

Hinata appeared in the dark room again, he felt mad and scared. He didn’t want to open the door, but it opened itself. Making him come inside.

Shadow was sitting there, as he always does. But now, Hinata could see the lower half of their face. He watched their mouth move as they talked.

“Hello again, Hajime.” Shadow paused, “you don’t look well.”

“Ya think, genius?” He sat down in the other chair, “look I didn’t want to come here, but I was pushed in. Was that *your* doing?” He glared at Shadow, resting his elbow on the table.

“No, I have no control over the door. I only am allowed in this room.” Shadow paused, “well, I used to be able to go outside, but since we got here, I’ve been locked in here.”

Hinata relaxed his shoulders, “‘ever since we got here..?’ Do you know why?”

Shadow didn’t speak for a while, “I think you have an idea why now, don’t you?”

Hinata’s head pounded, and he sweated. “What do you mean by that?”

“Komaeda told you, you were a reserve course student with no talent.” When he said that more of Shadow’s face was visible, Hinata was able to see freckles on his cheeks. “Once he said that you denied it, but it caused you to remember it was true.”

“Shut up..! I don’t like this…” Hinata’s hands shake.

“I’m sorry, Hajime, I really am.” They sigh, “you had to find out at some point.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?!” Hinata grabbed his hair, “you know *everything*, so why can’t you tell me any of it?”

Shadow looked at Hinata with a frown, and Hinata could see a faint red glow coming from their eyes. Even if he still couldn’t see their eyes, that red glow triggered something in him. Hinata’s pupils were small as he stared at Shadow like he didn’t want to say what he was thinking out loud.

“You remember who I am, don’t you?” As Shadow spoke, the shadow over their eyes disappeared. Hinata could see their face in full now, their red eyes bore into his soul in a way he didn’t want to think over. He knew this guy was him, or at least a version of him, but Shadow having the same face as him was too much for him.

“No… NO!” Hinata stood up from his chair and stepped away from Shadow slowly, “I don’t want to remember, this is fucking ridiculous…”

Before Shadow could respond, the door burst open, letting light in.

-

Kamukura knew it would happen eventually, that “Hajime” would remember things. Although, he never excepted him to have memories of the project. Their mental link seemed lessened after that encounter, Kamukura assumed “Hajime” was hiding from him.

Maybe it was better for him to be alone for a while.

Although that wasn’t the thing plaguing Kamukura’s mind. Komaeda has been scheming and sneaking around more than usual. This peaked Kamukura’s interest, ever since he read the files Komaeda has been distant from everyone, even Nanami didn’t see him much.

However, Enoshima knew what he was up to, and she made sure Kamukura knew all about it.

“Heyyy, Kami-senpai~!” Enoshima grabbed Kamukura’s hair and wrapped it around her neck, she stood chest to chest with him. “Did you miss me, babe?”

“Not peculiarly.”

“Oooh~, you’re buttering me up, huh?” She put her face closer to his, “ya know, that boy toy of ours has been planning a mass murder, right?” She giggled, “oh, wait! You didn’t!” She laughed harder, “you haven’t been able to see him recently… Did you have some lover’s quarrel?” She stepped back and slapped her forehead, “ooooOOooOo, waiiiit! I fowgot, he doesn’t know you exist!” She pulls harder at his hair, “well, I shouldn’t say that, huh? He read that talentless boy’s file, so he knows your existence now.” She started to braid his hair, “you know, I think that’s just *beautiful*! It’s like love prevails all! I remember what you guys were like before and *after* my death after all.” She cackled, and held her stomach, releasing the hair. “If you can even call your little agreement love, it was def a bastardized version of it.”

“You’ve been helping him, haven’t you?”

Enoshima’s eyes glitter and she squeals, “oh don’t say it like that! You’re making it sound like I’m the other girl!” She sighs, “look buster, he asked me to help set it up since he knew I’d do almost anything as long as he made it an interesting murder. So obvi I put my part in! You know we’re near the end, I mean the readers must be dying for this to end. We’re at what, like over 11k words, right?” She groans, “breaking the fourth wall can be so cringe, right? I mean I’m a serious person here, doing a joke like that is beneath me…”

Kamukura’s brows furrow, and Enoshima notices, giggling at him. “Where has he been?”

“Oh, you know the fifth island, I just opened it up.” Her eyes widened, “have you not been there or something?” She grinned like a devil, “oh, is it because your body double has been locking himself in his room all alone?”

Kamukura didn’t say anything.

“So that’s why, huh? Wanna protect him or something? Or like keep an eye on him?” She pops her cheeks with her acrylic nails, “is it because your boytoy has been a big ol’ meanie to him?”

“You could call it the inciting incident.”

“Oh! A literary term! How clever! How appropriate!” Enoshima clapped her hands, “either way, that bitch is a depressive mess, lmaooo. Kinda bummer tho, like bringing my mood down.” She turns, “I got Monokuma to like get him out of his cabin, but he wasn’t very responsive.” She darts her head to look into his eyes, “did you do anything to him? I know you’ve been talking to him *somehow*, but it’s not like I can see into his head, or anyone’s for that matter. Well, I am the Ultimate Analyst so I basically can do that shit!” She pauses, “although, I was never the best at reading you since you have the same talent you know how to prevent it.”

Kamukura didn’t say anything.

Enoshima tsked, “not even giving me anything with words, huh? Okay, be boring, I think I could bother Komaeda more anyways. Not like I need to watch some gay ass shit since you’re stuck here.” She held her fingers in an L-shape on her forehead, “later loser.”

Then she disappeared into the wind.

Kamukura sighed, he really needed to help “Hajime”, but he refused all help from him.

There was only one way he could fix this; he was going to give Nanami a visit.

-

Kamukura is at Nanami’s front door, he knocked on the door.

“Come in.” Her voice came through the walls.

He let himself inside, he phased through the door. Nanami didn’t look up from her game, “I said come in!”

“I’m right here, Nanami.”

She gasped but didn’t look up from her game. “Based on the voice, I’m gonna say you’re Kamukura-kun, right? I mean Hinata-kun can’t get inside without opening my noisy door, I think.”

“Yes, it’s me.” He stood in the doorway, unmoving.

Nanami beat the level and looked up from the screen, “you can sit down wherever, I don’t care.”

Kamukura looked around, and Nanami looked back at her screen. He decided to sit on the ground across from her.

“So… Why did you come and see me?” A scream came from the console, “you haven’t done what before. It’s always me taking my time to speak to you.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been focused on other things.”

“You don’t have to apologize, we’re friends, I understand.” She smiles, “I know you don’t think of those things anyways, probably.” A horn sound came from her game, she looked up at him. “So, what did you wanna talk about?”

“I wanted… Your help.” Nanami looked back down at her game, but he knew she was listening. “It’s about Komaeda, and I suppose “Hajime” too.”

“Oh, I see. Well, it’s a related subject then?”

“Yeah, it’s linked. Do you remember what happened in the funhouse? When Komaeda showed up out of nowhere, berating “Hajime”?”

A slashing sound came from the console, “oh yeah, of course. It was unsettling, to say the least. I mean he found out almost everything and took out his anger on Hinata-kun.”

Kamukura’s face relaxed, “yes. Well, “Hajime” didn’t take it well.” He’s been locking everything out, you noticed, I’m sure.”

She nods.

“He has locked me out too. Our mental link has lessened, and I’m… Worried about him.”

Nanami paused her game and looked at Kamukura.

“It must be very serious, I’m sorry Kamukura-kun.” She sighs, “I know Hinata-kun better than anyone else here, probably. He’s hard-headed, but he’s very emotional. It’s not a bad thing, he just can’t think things through when he gets too overwhelmed.”

“Yes… It’s been difficult to reach through to him.” He sighs, “He doesn’t want to think about who I am or what we went through. I want him to know these memories aren’t a bad thing. They aren’t from a good time, but it’s our memories.”

“Wow, I never excepted that from you. Maybe from Hinata-kun, I guess he was a bigger influence on you than I thought.” She smiles, “maybe you two aren’t as separate as everyone thinks.”

“That is part of it, yes.”

“What’s the other part?”

“Seeing all the remnants from before they became brainwashed gave me a new perspective. They don’t seem as predictable as before… Especially Komaeda.”

She giggled, “yeah, he’s a… umm… Eccentric. Like he’s odd, but he’s nice. He stands out pretty easily.”

“That’s not exactly what I meant.” He paused, “do you know about anything that happened after you died?”

“Well, I was given all of the information and Future Foundation files for the remnants, plus some key events for everything. So I have the jist of it, but I don’t like know many details, I think.”

“You didn’t have much information about me then.”

“Nope. Only your interactions with Enoshima-san, but even those are sparse. There are some mentions of you being around other remnants, aiding them since you were ordered to. Not too many of those events were recorded though, Future Foundation couldn’t keep up with everything.” She clicks her tongue, “also, you were in Towa after Enoshima-san died, but we don’t know what you did there. And that’s it.”

“You kept a close eye on the genocide in Towa, you never noticed what I was up to.”

“Hmm… What were you doing?”

“I hung around Komaeda and the Warriors of Hope. It was a way to pass time while I was thinking over… Setting this game up.”

“Oh.” She looked over his shoulder, “so is that why you’re more focused on him.”

He gave her a blank expression, but it felt shy.

She giggled, “oh, did you want to talk about it?”

“Perhaps…”

She smiled wider and gave him a thumbs-up.

“Well, I’m concerned he’ll die soon. The fact that I don’t want that to happen, is strange.” He looks at his hand, “I never was meant to feel this way.”

“And what’s wrong with that?” He looked into her eyes, she was determined. “It doesn’t matter what others think you should do or are capable of. What matters is what you want to do, and what you want to try to do.”

Kamukura stayed silent after that, and Nanami silently sat with him. She never picked up her game until he left.

-

Kamukura has connected to “Hajime” again, but this is not the way he wanted it to happen.

Komaeda was dead.

He felt “Hajime’s” distress, and it made him panic. It was feelings he has never felt before, it was too overwhelming. Kamukura thought maybe, he was *too* connected to “Hajime” now.

“Hajime” sat next to the body, and the survivors stood behind him in shock. Yet, he didn’t acknowledge them. Kamukura sat next to “Hajime”, staring into Komaeda’s eyes.

Nanami crotched next to them, “hey, are you doing okay?”

She was talking to both of them, but it was “Hajime” who responded. “Have I ever been okay since I got here?”

“No… But you know what I mean, probably.”

“Yeah… Sorry Nanami… I’ll be fine. I just need to investigate and get this over with. I can grieve later…” He stood up, but still had his focus on the body.

Nanami stayed with Kamukura. She nudged him, making him look up at her.

“I will be fine too…”

“Hajime” scratched the back of his head, he looked confused. “Nanami..?”

Nanami stood up and smiled sadly, “okay… That will be good for now.”

-

Hinata was back in the dark room, but the door was already open. He stepped slowly, and looked into the room before entering.

Shadow looked up at him, his face was completely visible. His red eyes still made Hinata feel ill.

“Hello, Hajime.”

“You…” He walked into the room, and stood in front of the table. “Why is the door open?”

“It based on how open you are. A clear metaphor, isn’t it?”

“Don’t be fucking coy with me! I don’t *feel* open. What does that *even* mean?!”

“Kamukura” folded his hands on the table, “it means you wanted to talk to me. You are having a spiral, and are questioning everything.”

“Yeah, no shit. After seeing the people I consider to be closest with dying on the same day would make me spiral and question shit. Fuck you.”

“Hajime, please, I am also mourning for them. They are just as important to me as they are to you.” He leans in, “please, we should talk about this. I think it’s time to share everything to get the full picture.” He sighs, “I want the best for you, I want you to know.”

“What’s with the vulnerability? Usually, you’re like… Detached and emo…” He sat down slowly, “it’s like kinda scaring me.”

“Do you remember the Kamukura Project?”

Hinata stared at him, eyes wide. “N-no… I-”

“It’s okay to remember. The memoires aren’t a prison.”

Hinata breathed out and closed his eyes, “it’s you, right? It’s how I died… For a promise of talent… I didn’t even get to survive to see it.”

“Hmm, yes. I’m sorry, Hajime.”

“I wish I could have been you.”

“I wish I could have been you, too.”

Hinata looked up, “why would you want to be a loser like me?”

“You had everything I didn’t, and I envy that. I was never concerned that having emotions and memories would be so dreadful, but after I lived I learned life was boring without them.” He sat straighter, “all I wanted was to be like everyone else, then maybe I could escape the monotony.”

Hinata gaped at “Kamukura”, “seriously? You want to live a normal life? Believe me, it’s boring as hell. Why would you even *want* that?”

“Having every talent makes everything easy, with no effort or love involved. I would be told my art was soulless and my help was meaningless. All because I couldn’t connect with anything emotionally or personally. Humans are social creatures, and I wished I could be a part of that.”

Hinata held his head in his hands and breathed out, “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry… I- I didn’t think that’d happen…”

“You cannot change the past.”

“True…”

“Since you remember who I am, do you remember what I am?”

Hinata looked at him, “nah, everything after the surgery is blacked out.”

They spent the rest of the night talking. “Kamukura” told Hinata all about the Incident, the apocalypse afterward, his time as Enoshima’s lapdog, and his time with Komaeda in Towa City.

Hinata had the full picture but he couldn’t believe it, it was all too much.

He had his hands in his lap and was leaning forward. Tears formed in his eyes, and the bags under his eyes were noticeable. “So… We were a terrorist and had a fucked up terrorist family with Komaeda of all people?”

“In layman’s terms, yes.”

“Fuck okay…” He bonked his head on the table, face down. “I don’t want to know…”

-

Even when he already knew everything, her words stabbed his soul.

He was the mastermind, the one who put him and all his friends through Hell.

It was never your fault.

Hinata turned around and saw “Izuru” behind him.

“What…? You… “Izuru”…” He rubbed his eyes, “why are you here? What’s happening-?” He holds his chest, “why is my heart beating so fast?”

“Izuru” grabbed onto Hinata’s shoulders and squeezed, “you’re having a panic attack.”

“Huh…?” He looked at his trembling hands, “oh fuck great.”

“It will be okay Hajime, we’ll be okay.”

“Easy for you to say, like fuck you planned this fucked up killing game”

“Izuru” stayed silent for a while, “yes… I wanted to see which was better; hope or despair.”

“That’s fucking dumb, and you know it.” He pushed “Izuru” away, “I just wish you’d leave me alone for a minute…”

-

Hajime was gone.

Kamukura was alone in a dark space, but it was different than the one in his head. Like he was inside a computer breaking apart, and he was.

He walks around for a while, but it was meaningless; there wasn’t anything of note. Only glitching out scenery and voices of dead classmates.

“Kamukura-kun…?”

He whipped his head in the direction of the sound, no one should know he exists. It wasn’t Enoshima, she wouldn’t say it so… Genuine. His eyes widened, it was Komaeda. He looked completely fine like he was still alive.

“Komaeda, how are you here?”

He looked side to side, “I don’t really know where ‘here’ is in all honesty…” He smiled, “but I’m glad to see you again!” He steps forward and grabs Kamukura’s hands, “I know it’s presumptuous to say, but I missed you, my Kamukura-kun…”

He looked up at the other man. “You remember me.”

“Hmm?” He looked up and into his eyes, “of course I do. How could I forget someone like you?”

“Dying traumatized your brain enough to remember everything, right?”

He smiled brightly, “you always are.” He held Kamukura’s hands closer to his chest, “did you find out what won?” His eyes started to swirl, and his smile looked creepier.

“No…”

His smile drops slightly, and his eyes go blank, “I see… Well, that doesn’t matter now. Hinata-kun and the ultimates are figuring that out now, right?”

“Yes.”

His smile returns and the grip on Kamukura’s hands tighten. “My plan to get rid of all the ultimate despairs failed… It’s a pity… Although, our original plan is going swimmingly.” He steps closer to Kamukura, but only their intertwined hands separate their chests. “I’m sorry I went off script… My memory is awful normally, but this time I have a pretty good excuse, huh?” He giggles and puts his arms around his shoulders, “you are acting different than normal… Did something happen?”

Kamukura rests his forehead on Komaeda’s, “being in this game has made me reclaim lost emotions and memories…”

“Oh..?”

“It’s due to the programming forcing Hajime to return, we have merged in a way. Although, not completely.”

“Hmm, sounds rough on both of you. I mean I know both of you well, or at least I like to think I do. Maybe saying that is too pompous of me…”

“No, you’re right… You don’t give yourself enough credit.”

“Wow, you’re really different now… I’m surprised you would even say that to me of all people.”

“I always thought it… It just never felt necessary to say.”

“Hmm…” He plays with Kamukura’s hair with his fingers, “I find that unbelievable, but you’ve never lied to me before… And I would never imply that you ever would either! However…” He smiles, “I’ll let it slide this time.”

“You’re acting different than normal too.”

“Hmm… I suppose I am.” He laughs, “maybe we both had some clarity in this simulation. Was hell to get through though… I’ve been thinking a lot since I read those files and now…” He holds Kamukura tighter and puts his head on his shoulder and whispers, “I wish we didn’t have to choose who wins.”

Kamukura’s eyes widen, “you don’t want to prove if hope or despair prevails anymore?”

“Shush… Don’t tell anyone…” He giggles, “maybe I trust you too much… But I can’t help it…”

Komaeda felt a sudden shift, there were arms around his waist and he was being held closely. He leaned back, and was met with the same face, but how he sported short, white hair.

“Hinata-kun..? No wait, is that you Kamukura-kun?”

“I’m both of them.” He had this voice that echoed in Komaeda’s head, it was truly beautiful. “I think you’re right.”

“Right..? About what?”

He held the man closer and looked into his eyes. It was a strange thing for Komaeda, neither of these men gave him much eye contact. Those red eyes were analytical like before but now they had this hopeful determination in them. Komaeda could look into those eyes for hours.

“Hope and despair don’t really matter, don’t they?”

“What…?”

“Don’t act all coy with me. I was there when you said it…”

“Hmm… There’s the Hinata-kun I know…” He smiled and it was genuine this time.

He scoffed, “I never really went away.”

“It felt like you did…” He grabbed Hinata’s face, “I missed you…”

“Uhuh… Missed you too.”

Komaeda giggles, “I’m sure you did.”

Hinata’s thoughts were clearest than they had ever been. Even when he tried, he couldn’t completely shut out Kamukura. He knew there was no division between the two of them.

He was Hajime Hinata, even if he was called Izuru Kamukura: he was still *him*.

He is Hajime Hinata.

The future was mysterious and unknown, yet that meant you could do anything with it. You could crave your own path and your own personal future.

They all heard it: future.

It was the hope for a change. It was not some muddled and glorified hope or despair, but a real tangible thing.

A second chance for the fallen.

[bronzecats]

Lyrics below the read more:

We all have got a role to play the lioness she stalks her prey He's bleeding in the tall grass, unaware his thrashing makes him easier to follow But when she gets him in her claws she'll invite him in because her cave is not a home without him, just a hole that is lonely and hollow

And can't you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together? It's written there in soot and ash and blood and that's furever. And so if you are terrified, of what you hide, remember That I'm still on your side, and that's furever...furever...

We all have got a role to play You'll be filling yours someday and I'll be filling mine until then we're killing time, hunting monsters in our minds and when I see you standing strong Pretending you don't want to play along I'll never make you blue (or make you pay) I'll tackle you into a pile to unwind

And can't you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together? It's written there in soot and ash and blood and that's furever. And so if you have been denied, choke up your pride, remember That I am on your side, and that's furever...furever...furever.

I don't have to argue, everybody knows you have issues, you lay your colors bare (in a manner of speaking) I'll be there when you finally decide to bare your heart, it's the part I want to share

And I don't have to argue, everybody knows you have issues, you wear them on your sleeves (so to speak) I'm not a thief, the only jewels that I need are your diamonds, and I find them following

The bows and arrows, in your words The words behind your broken teeth The broken glass that's under foot, and paw and hoof the high and low, whatever nonsense you believe

The vast unknown laid out ahead, The tears and anger, good and bad The big adventure still at hand, and paw and whiskers. Grey, blue, red, whatever, I will understand!

And can't you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together? We're written there in soot and ash and blood and that's furever And so if I've been too discrete, let me repeat, remember That I'm still on your side, and that's furever... furever...

[f3ral-creatur3s]

We all have got a role to play

The lioness she stalks her prey

He’s bleeding in the tall grass, unaware his thrashing makes him easier to follow

But when she gets him in her claws

She’ll invite him in because

Her cave is not a home without him, just a hole that is lonely and hollow

And can’t you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together?

It’s written there in soot and ash and blood and that’s furever

And so if you are terrified of what you hide, remember

That I’m still on your side and that’s furever, furever

We all have got a role to play

You'll be filling yours someday

And I'll be filling mine until then we’re killing time, hunting monsters in our minds

And when I see you standing strong

Pretending you don’t want to play along

I’ll never make you blue (make you pay) Tackle you into a pile to unwind

And can’t you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together?

It’s written there in soot and ash (soot and ash) and blood and that’s furever

And so if you have been denied, choke up your pride, remember

That I am on your side, and that’s furever, furever, furever

And I don’t have to argue, everybody knows you have issues, you lay your colors bare (in a manner of speaking)

I’ll be there when you finally decide to bare your heart, it’s the part I want to share

And I don’t have to argue, everybody knows you have issues, you wear them on your sleeves (so to speak)

I’m not a thief, the only jewels that I need are your diamonds, and I find them following (find them following)

The bows and arrows in your words

The words behind your broken teeth

The broken glass that’s under foot, and paw and hoof

The high and low, whatever nonsense you believe

The vast unknown laid out ahead

The tears and anger, good and bad

The big adventure still at hand, and paw and whiskers

Grey, blue, red, whatever, I will understand

And can't you see the writing on the wall is drawing us together?

We’re written there in soot and ash and blood and that’s furever

And so if I've been too discrete, let me repeat, remember

That I’m still on your side, and that’s furever, furever, furever

[ladysunbite]

Sometimes rage was necessary to clean up poison from the heart. "And it is exactly why you are still alive," Orianna patiently kept her distance, and brushed the pecks of dirt from her dress, where his hand tried but in truth did not quite reach her. Instinct were instincts, and her body was less easily surprised than her mind. A favourable outcome for both. Watching from the corner of her eyes as he raged, showed the fangs and dripped even much more blood upon the marble. The droplets looked like scattered haematite beads under the moonlight. "I am on your side. I do not seek your death. I do not try to use you in a way that would undone you. Nor do I make light of your loss, even as you have rightly put it, there is much I do not understand." opening up in such a way, being sincere in such a hollow manner, was much more painful than any wounds that he could inflict upon her and the words fell cold and heavy, as she looked upon the man, the wolf. "What else do you need me to put into speech to banish your suspicion?" the sun-eyed was annoyed angry, even if her voice was a rival to the coldness of marble, and she herself was not unlike the statues in the garden below - distant, perfect, unmoving. Her temerian appeared at her doorstep without note, looking no better than a vagabond, practically dying in his fragile mortal skin...and he expected her to watch him bleed into oblivion or tie his own noose while she did what...nodded over her goblet like a good hostess?!

While all he needed to do was simply ask for her help. Any time during those years his fate spun another thread of nightmares for him, he could have sought her, asked for her. They were bounded by blood, she would not been able to deny him. Nor truly would she want to. They were loyal to each other, were they not? That was something humans in their petty, weak minds could not comprehend, eaten away by their little fears, trembling in their hides, waiting to be used by the simple grace of her brethren having a longer reel of totentanz with time. Foolish, foolish mortal eter... Fuck...

Her mind halted as the refined vampiress realized it was a profanity Roche had taught her. "Vernon..." Orianna closed her eyes and sighed deeply. After all, it was her plan to let him blow the steam of, not to be caught in it herself. "Vernon, listen to me. It is not your fault. No matter how much you want it to be..." she approached, donning as much a human-like gait as was possible, moving heavily and slowly, but did not reach for him this time. Standing there with her neck naked within the reach of fangs, claws or simple hands should have spoken much more than flowery words and promises both found treacherous.

"None of it is your fault."

It was a suicide mission.

Yet he could not stop, he loved Ves, so much. Found her all those years ago, saved her life, oversaw her training himself, took something raw and broken, made it sharp and deadly, gave her the means to fight back, gave her command, a title, a place and went everywhere with her.

“You don’t understand, not this time, not this.” Ves was dead, the child he never knew, dead. Hanged for crimes, that where his own, both of them killed, and how he had carved through the men who had done it, the people who had watched with delight and done nothing, he found there remains, still hanging from the tree and he buried them, and since then, he has been killing all across the land, to find those who made this happen.

He was not going to stop.

“I forgot what a bitch you are.” As he snapped back, taking a cloth, cleaning his face and then throwing it onto the floor, no matters, nothing, he was a brutal man, a direct man, a cold, killer who had become so much more, something else, this fucking curse, everyting, so much bullshit, as if someone takes delight in making his life as shit as possible, as if it was a good story.

FUCK THEM, AND IF THERE ARE TWO PEOPLE WRITING THIS STORY.

FUCK THEM BOTH!

“You know what I didn’t miss.” As he cleaned himself up. “The fact that always, you are right.” with her words to him, fucking Orianna, the fuck was her deal in reminding him, could she not lie to him once, good job, you did well, not your fault, nah would not be Orianna if she was not the one fucking salt all over him to make everything sting a thousand times more, but she was right, he denied it, snapped his jaws, revealed sharp fangs and loathed them, and he was truly doing so well for once.

“Fucking hell.” As he hit the table with his fist, at her nails digging into his flesh tightly, a sharp pain as he almost went backwards off his chair and onto the ground, all the fighting, the murders, everything and he had brought a bloody trial all the way to Orianna own home as well, right to her front doorstep.

“You got one day.” As he commented, pushing his hand into Orianna, open palm as he shoved her away from himself, he was not the type of person, to care about, rights and women, Orianna was a cunt, she would get a crack in the nose and a slap across the face if she kept pushing him, he knew he fucked up, he knew he was fucking close to death, he knew he could heal, he just didn’t want to, he didn’t want to be what he was, but he had no choice as he looked down.

Fucking vampire.

Fucking werewolf.

Match not made in heaven, fucking hell.

“Fucking hell Orianna, I thought we where over this shit, you owe me, remember!”

Or did she need a long history lesson, who saved her ass, when she needed it the most, who pulled her out of the mess she was within, despite everything, that debt was not paid and he was cashing in on her now, wanting her aid, or was Orianna going to be another cunt, who would not respect there word and seek to kill him rather than work with him when he cashed in.

Didn’t work well, for everyone else who betrayed him.

“Fine, one day, then we leave.”

[itoshi-s]

The idea of onii-chans saying "just the tip" then bottoming out a frw minutes later is making me feral - 💔 (i swear the stepbro tag will be my undoing)(even if its not stepcest just giving that promise then shattering expectations)(its getting me too riled up)(my bleeding just stopped but this is making me loose it)

:(( nii-chans that end up messing u up wholeheartedly n break their pretty little promises to you either because 1) you should’ve known better, he’s always been like this. he’s never meant to keep the promise anyway 2) you just feel too good and he really tries. he really does, but he cannot control it any longer :(((((( actually, i have just the right candidates for it anon

cw nsfw, stepcest, dubcon, timeskip oikawa n (pussydrunk :)) kags

tooru-nii likes to think he’s the one that made you this dumb — a pleasant byproduct of the filth he’s put you through — but knows that this is why you actually caught his attention in the first place. you’re silly, naive and too gullible for your own good. too sweet, to the point it makes his teeth ache and mouth feel sticky as if he’s licking honey off your skin each time he has you spread out underneath him; sweet with the way you never, not even once, doubted his good intentions. “just the tip, pretty girl. okay? i promise.” he hums against your lips, tongue heavy on yours as he licks into your mouth and swallows down every breath and keen you let out.

it thrills him, the soft and urgent nod you give and the way your fits press against him, heart hammering in your chest so hard, he almost feels as if it thumps in his. “good girl.” tooru coos, easing his fingers out of you and reaching between his thighs already. he wraps a hand around the base of his cock — heavy and leaking, and you’re still not used to it, hence why you’re so reluctant — and uses the remaining juices on his fingers as makeshift lube. it’s good enough, he thinks, and swallows back a groan when the flared head of his cock slips between your lips. he rests one hand on your chest to hold you down — it’ll come in use later — and keeps his eyes trained on where he’s sinking into you, barely two or three inches in. shaky fingers wrap around his forearm as you gasp, the sound bringing his gaze upwards, to your pretty flushed face. you always think he’s a little out of it, chocolate eyes focused on you but looking hollow in a way that makes your toes curl. tooru’s always been an intense presence.

“nii chan,” you moan breathily, hips stuttering as he fucks himself in and out of you, slow and sensual, nudging almost at the right spot to make you crumble, but still not quite. “kiss me.” you’re so well mannered it melts him — always so good for him, asking politely with the sweetest pout. he complies, leaning down and pressing his lips to yours. it’s hot and languid, open mouthed and heavy with the way his tongue licks against yours. you’re mewling and whimpering within seconds, and tooru grunts at the sound as he feels his cock twitch hard. you’ve always reacted to him that way, even back in your high school years — when he finally took the leap and claimed you as his. when you were the first person he looked for in the stands after a winning set, the only voice he could hear calling out his name before a serve. when he’d wait until everyone else has gone home before pulling his number one fan — the only one that ever really mattered — down on his lap in the warm, suffocating locker room. a kind of trophy that was more than enough, but made him feel all kinds of greedy nevertheless.

but greed is only natural, a fair consequence to what you’re gracing him with — glossy eyes and wobbling lip as your head rolls back and you moan out. tooru, please. feels good, nii chan. how could he not crave more? a strong hand reaches behind your head and grabs at the nape of your neck, fingers firm as he holds you.

“watch.” your eyes widen a bit at the rough treatment as oikawa pulls you up, head held in place, and frankly he doesn’t even care for the slight wince you give. it’s not exactly comfortable, but you dare not squeak out a word — not when it creates an angle that lets you see everything. tooru purposely slips up, rubs the pink flushed head of his cock all over your swollen clit, and reaches his hand down to slap himself against your folds a couple times. you whimper, and you’re not quite sure whether it’s pleasure or slight embarrassment.

“that’s my pussy. s’ that right?” tooru taunts and you wish to nod, but his grip on you renders you stiff. so, instead, “yes, yes nii chan,” you breathe out, eyes flickering up to look up at him instead — and you find him staring right back at you already. “all yours, tooru, j’st yours.” you watch a shudder rip through his broad shoulders and miss the way his eyes darken. he moves his hand around your neck instead, barely putting any pressure, but he has to ready himself — cause even though you’ve never put up a fight, he’s better safe than sorry.

tooru-nii has always been nothing but sweet to you — only had eyes for you and no one else. not even one single girl from the crowds that would surround him after a game, not any celebrity that he’d meet after moving to argentina. tooru nii is a good brother, one that you trust without a doubt in the world — even though his promises might not mean much. “ha-aah— tooru ni-i,” he should’ve feel bad, that much he knows. shouldn’t get off on seeing your eyes widen, flash with shock and brim with tears as he thrusts inside and knocks the breath out of your lungs.

(he shouldn't. but that hasn't ever stopped him, not even once.)

“sh, shh.” his hand moves to clamp over your loud mouth as he rolls his hips forward, until he’s bottomed all the way out, pressing up against your cervix. “you can take it, baby. nothin’ you haven’t had before.” maybe you’re just letdown, and maybe it’s the dull ache pulling at your heart and messing with your head that makes him sound this way — but it comes out strained, almost, and drips with arousal so thick your heart jolts. your eyelashes flutter, letting a few tears spill down your heated cheeks, and to oikawa, there’s no prettier sight.

he groans, the sound bleeding into a gravelly whine, and sets a rhythm that makes the headboard thud against the wall loud enough to silence any regrets.

then again, tobio nii who is so, so smitten by you and your charm. you've always had him wrapped around your little finger, ever since you first came into the picture, and there's not a force strong enough to ever make him feel ridiculous about it. in a way, he thinks it's meant to be, you and him - you, hanging off his arm, clinging to him like a lifeline. him, giving you the world and anything else you could possibly want on a silver platter, feeding you his love until you choke on it.

you've never used it against him - the vulnerability that he only ever held for you, and showed it with no trace of shame. kageyama only ever gives in to you because he wants to, aches for you until it scorches in his veins and jolts across his skin. and yet, there are times where he almost wants to challenge his self restraint, see how long he can go without losing his entirety to you.

"hah.. just the tip, angel, 's it." there's this kind of white noise ringing in tobio's ears, loud enough to make his voice sound far away as he mumbles under his breath. you're entirely on display for him to watch and grab at, smooth skin glimmering in the moonlight as he kneads at the soft flesh of your waist. he feels his chest run hot, saliva thick in his throat when you roll your hips, the soaking plush of your cunt sucking him in deeper. "wan' all of you, nii nii," you whimper out, as if in protest, shaking your head so that your hair spills all over the soft pillows. tobio nii wants to kiss you breathless, feels a breath hitch in his throat at the sight, but stands his ground nonetheless. leaning down to smother your pulsing neck in sloppy kisses, he thrusts his hips forward, just barely - but deep enough to make the coil in your tummy tighten and tingle.

"can't," kageyama whispers by your ear, teeth nibbling on the delicate skin of your jaw, "don't be greedy, baby, hm?" there's a slight tremble to his baritone as your nails dig into the sturdy flesh of his back. you wrap your arms around him, pull him close until his forehead rests in the crook of your neck and lips rub against the swell of your breast. it's too close, too much all at once, and tobio feels as if he's about to lose his mind. the shudder of your chest, little teary mewls that slip past your glossy lips, and the urgent grabbing of your hands all over his broad back - it's enough to make a saint crumble. it takes all of his self control not to slip further inside, between your slick and warm walls that feel nothing less than heavenly, and ravage you until you're breathless.

you suck in a shaky inhale, words slurred as your hands move to rest on his cheeks instead and pull him up to face you. it's so gentle, but your nii chan deserves nothing less than the sweetest treatment you can muster. you brush the hair out of his eyes, watch as his eyelashes flutter and navy irises sharpen upon setting on yours. "m'kay," it's slurred as you speak, barely above a breathy whisper, and tobio leaks all over your swollen, throbbing cunt. "wanna be good for yew, nii chan." your thumb presses down on the soft plush of his bottom lip, then rubs along his canine, as if in a trance, before you pull him down for a kiss - one that teeters him right off the edge. the brunet groans, low and guttural, and drinks up the startled squeal that rips through your throat when he eases himself in right up to the brim - until he physically cannot drive it any deeper. large, clammy hands slide underneath your frame to eventually rest at the small of your back, effortlessly easing your hips off the mattress.

"oh, fuck- god, sorry, m'sorry, baby. feels too good." you're not sure why tobio-nii keeps apologizing - but figure out he's just delirious, high off arousal and pleasure that sears through every fibre in his body. to be fair, you don't mind - you don't care, and couldn't do it for the life of you. not with how thick and heavy his cock feels inside of you, pressing against all the spots that make it seem as if he's all the way up in your throat. "good girl. f-uck. my good little sis."

tobio nii was a mystery to many - but never to you. or, at least, not until the two turned into whatever this is. but with your eyes rolling back and brains turning to mush, head feeling airy with euphoria that's far too much for you to handle - you can't dwell about it too much anyway.

[thepenultimateword]

I've come out of hiding because I love you and your writings, also

https://thepenultimateword.tumblr.com/post/693443435507662848/short-prompt-33 thisssssssss needs morreeeee can I has a part two?

Now here me out, I'm sure your swamped because your amazing and havr all the asks in the world so I'm NOT expecting ANYTHING ANYTIME soon, this is simply because I think it's amazing and like any book I wanna read the next 'chapter' ❤❤❤

Have a great week!!

D’awww thank you so much!!

Sooo, I am swamped but I actually have an idea for this one and don’t want to lose my motivation to write it, so you’re in luck 😜

Part One

Henchman B slunk into the employee dorms somewhere around 3 in the morning. The dingy yellow light of the common area's only vending machine cast shadows in the hollows of their face, stretching the purple bruises around their eyes and along their bottom lip longer.

Henchman A lifted their head groggily off the sofa arm at the front door's familiar beep and squeeeal and blinked in the double layers of clothing and slow, limping walk.

“B!” they cried, leaping off the couch with sudden and intense alertness.

B's head swiveled halfway toward them, dark eyes drinking them out of the shadows for several silent, nerve-wracking seconds. They sighed, closing swollen eyelids and drooping already limp arms down to their knees. “Couldn’t you have just gone to bed?”

The comment sent a wash of ice through A's bloodstream, but they ignored it, approaching close enough to see the burst blood vessels staining B's face like an inkblot painting. What was the picture though? Destruction? A bleeding heart? A butterfly stripped of its wings, torn, ugly, helpless? Whatever it was, it sent A's chest aching.

"What did Villain do?" It came out lower than a whisper. A half-dared question.

“Nothing.”

They swished past A with a dangerous wobble and, wincing, eased down onto the couch. Was it too painful to make it all the way to their room? Or did they simply not want A watching them move, picking out each flinch and stumble?

“I’ll get the first aid kit,” A said, already turning toward the bathroom.

“No!”

A’s heart nearly leaped right out of their chest and their feet froze to the spot, numb and solid. They dared peek back, but B only closed their eyes and rubbed the bruised bridge of their nose.

“Please. Just leave.”

A parted their lips and closed them again. Their eyes fixed on their hands, clenched nervously around the hem of their shirt. They picked it this morning because they knew B liked blue, especially the dark, dreary shades, but now it just reeked guilt.

It was probably for the best that they left. They'd caused B enough trouble today, the least they could do was listen to them for once. Maybe they should trade shifts with another henchman and get out of their life completely. Was that too extreme? Compared to what B had done for them today, it didn't feel like it. In any case, they should at least apologize.

A turned around slowly, shuffling up in front of B's knees. Talking to B had always been so easy, even with the other henchman's cold manner. But now trembling lips searched to form words and nothing came.

"A, please--"

“I’m sorry," they croaked.

They glanced up at B for some sign of acceptance or hatred, but their expression was bland as ever. If it weren't for the slight tilt of their head aiming their good ear in their direction, A wouldn't even know they were listening.

"I’m so stupid," A continued. "This is all my fault. I should have said something. I should have told the truth as soon as you took the fall. This--" They waved up and down at B's battered body. "--should be me. But I'm just a selfish coward. I'm so sorry."

B continued to stare. Their lack of response filled in by the vending machine's electric drone and A's quiet sobs. The ceiling creaked overhead as some other henchman shifted in bed.

Please, just tell me you hate me. Please, get it over with.

B let out another signature sigh. "You speaking up only would have gotten us both beat. You for letting in a hero, me for lying. It would have defeated the point of me rescuing you in the first place."

Warm callused fingers found their way to A's eyes and gruffly rubbed away the trailing tears.

A's breath caught in their throat. What was happening right now? B had never touched them before. Not outside of sparring at least. Sometimes A had imagined what it might feel like for those hands to rove their face but never had their imagination come up with a scenario like this.

All at once it was over. Those hands pulled away and B dropped back down on the couch cushions with a soft groan.

A swallowed. A question buried under their own guilt and worry finally dragging itself to the surface.

"Why...did you save me?"

"Hm?"

"It's not as if we're close... And all I ever do is flirt and bother you. You threatening me all the time was always fun, but they're still threats. I thought it would have been satisfying to see me finally get my just desserts for all the annoyance I've caused you."

B blinked. "We've been co-workers for three years."

A stared at them. What did that have to do with anything?

"Yeah?"

"We spar together, eat together, work together. I know your strengths, your vulnerabilities. And I'm far stronger than you. Don't you think if I wanted something to happen to you I would have already done it myself?"

"W-well, yeah. But not wishing harm on someone is a far cry from taking the beating yourself... I just don't get why--

“Come here."

A's mouth dropped open.

B lifted one heavy arm toward them, beckoning with two fingers. A had to resist the urge to look around the empty room for some other person B could be talking to.

"Come here," B repeated, firmer.

Here? A was already standing right in front of them, so did they mean...?

They slowly lowered themself to the edge of the couch cushion. No sooner did they sit when B's strong arms pulled them against themself. A found their nose tucked into the warm crook of their crush's neck, so intimately close they could practically smell the pain wafting off them.

"Don't--" A protested, pulling away to spare B's obviously sore ribs, but B's hold only tightened.

"You were right about one thing," they said, throat vibrating against A's cheek. "I let you get away with far too much."

Within the span of a sentence, A's mouth had gone completely dry. So now, even with a dozen comments and questions fighting to be asked, they couldn't utter a single word. It was probably better that way since the top of A's queue was a flirty pick-up line bound to ruin the whole moment.

"I'll always protect you," B continued. "Always. You hear?"

A nodded numbly.

B let out a long, tired breath that made their whole chest--and in turn A--rise and fall. "I hate you seeing me weak."

Weak? Being hurt wasn't weak. Taking someone else's punishment and then comforting them wasn't weak. B had always been a mystery when it came to feelings. Their constant dry tone and bland expression always made it seem like they felt nothing at all. But maybe the truth was that they wore a mask when they felt the most. Now it was slipping. That, most of all, wasn't weak.

A wanted to let B know that they were the strongest, most beautiful, most amazing person they'd ever met and that nothing would ever make them think less of them. But as they wetted their tongue to speak, something else was already slipping off the tip.

"You know, B, I should go get that first-aid kit for that knee."

B scrunched their eyes. "What are you talking about? Villain didn't do anything to my--"

"You know, the one you scraped falling for me."

B's face immediately dropped into an unimpressed frown, but with the pressure of their arms still steady against their shoulder blades, A was beginning to think that might be a good sign and their laughter escaped as a loud squeak.

"You're so annoying," B said.

"You know what else might make you feel better?" A managed through their giggles.

B rolled their eyes, but their expression was resigned. "What?"

"A big dose of Vitamin Me."

This time B did crack a smile. They tried to hide it with another sigh and a duck of their head into A's shoulder, but it remained loud and clear in their voice.

"Don't make me push you off this couch."

"It's a good plan, but it won't work; I've already fallen for y--"

B clapped their hand over their mouth. "Shhh. My head feels like its going to split open. Let's just be quiet for a while, hm?"

A nodded against their palm. Their arms fumbled together as they shifted into a more comfortable embrace; gentle fingers curled into the back of A's shirt; B's heart thumped a little too quick in their ear.

They never knew silence could say so much.

Master Taglist:

@moss-tombstone @crazytwentythrees @just-1-lonely-person @the-vagabond-nun @willow-trees-are-beautiful @cocoasprite @insanedreamer7905 @valiantlytransparentwhispers @whovian378 @watercolorfreckles @thebluepolarbear @yulanlavender @kitsunesakii @deflated-bouncingball @lem-hhn @office-plant-in-a-trenchcoat @last-ditch-entry @ghostfacepepper @pigeonwhumps

[hwanchaesong]

"Ghost of You"

Synopsis: dealing with your beloved's demise will never be easy

👤: Jeong Yunho

📼: Ghost - Justin Bieber

genre & warnings: angst, cursing, mentions of death, implications of trauma, suicide, and depression, sprinkle of fluff, fantasy (inspired by anohana)

word count: 2.8k

requested by: @xddjoong

Birds chirping, soft wind blowing, and the bright sunlight shines down upon you as you walk down the isle of freshly trimmed grass. A peaceful and warm day outside yet your heart is frozen and is filled with agony.

Halting your steps in front of a tombstone, you crouched and placed the bouquet of red and pink carnations down.

'I still can't forget you, i love and miss you so much.'

"Hey honey," you mumbled, hands reaching over to touch the engraved name in the marble stone, "how are you doing over there? I hope you're happy."

'Even if I'm not.'

"It's been a year since you departed from me," you took a deep breath, feeling the emotions welling up inside you, "don't worry though, I'm doing my best to live my life."

Lies.

Yes, you were living your life but not at its fullest, you're just going with the flow, feeling hollow every day without your starlight.

A lot of people comforted you, told you words of encouragement, they never left your side and stayed with you at your darkest moments.

You appreciated all of their efforts, thankful that they didn't think of you as a dramatic ass person, thus, you did your best to feign a smile.

Fake it 'til you make it, what's worse is when they took it as a genuine one.

'If it's him, he'll surely know.'

After a long tiring day, you plopped down on your bed.

It felt empty and cold, the other side is absent of something, or more specifically, someone.

'Life wouldn't be this difficult only if I still have you by my side, Yunho.'

There was a lot of time that you wished for him to come back, you were willing to sacrifice everything just to be with him once again. You were ready to give your own life up if it means that you'll see him on the other side.

You ache for him so much that life did not matter to you any more, and it took a lot of convincing from your family and friends for you to continue your journey even without him.

You closed your eyes, trying to force the tears back down from where they came from.

Looks like it'll be an another episode of you crying yourself to sleep.

When you opened your eyes, an eerily familiar face greeted you, even its voice is the exact same of the person that you were thinking about before you lulled yourself to dreamland.

"Come on, Y/N, wake up!"

Okay, now you're definitely awake.

A loud shriek came out of your lips, scrambling away from the unknown yet intimate person that is currently kneeling on the floor, right across from your bed.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

He sighed and stood up, resulting in you screaming your head off once again as you threw your pillows at him. You were about to cover yourself with your blanket (sort of like a protection although it's useless), only then you noticed that the pillows did not hit him, but it went through him instead.

What in the world?

A staring contest between you and the entity ensued, him breaking the silence when it got louder to the point that your ears might bleed due to the intensity that is building up between the two of you.

"It's me, Jeong Yunho."

Commotion so early in the morning, you're so sure that your neighbors might file a complaint with how noisy you are.

After all hell breaks loose, your heart finally manages to calm itself down, you spoke in a tight manner, still not believing the paranormal shit that is currently happening to you.

"Explain yourself." you ordered the tall, puppy-like man like he's about to be scolded.

Being a skeptic, you rejected his first statement of 'I am a ghost and I am here because I have a mission!'

Fuck that, you're not gonna accept an unreasonable bullshit like that.

So there you stood in all your glory, acting all tough with your arms crossed over your chest, when in reality, your soul is already breaking with the sight of him.

"I really have nothing to say anymore!" he raised his hands out of frustration, a sign that he really doesn't know much aside from what was instilled in his mind.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, dealing with the impending tears as you tried to find a solution for this messed up situation.

"Okay," you started, pointing at him while he looks at you expectantly, "if you really are my Yunho-"

You temporarily stopped when you saw his eyes soften at your words.

'My Yunho.'

Your term of endearment that you always use whenever you had the chance. It symbolizes your undying love for him, a proof that he is yours, and you are his.

You cleared your throat, regaining your composure, "If you really are Yunho then give me a-"

"You ate a whole gochu because you want to impress me for our first date, but it ended up with you choking on water."

You were dumbfounded and it shows in your face. Nobody knows that incident but you and your lover, and he didn't even let you finish your sentence yet he knows what you're about to say.

"I am aware that you'll ask for evidence. I know you."

Too stunned to speak, Yunho continued to talk, staring at you intently, laying out the truth for you to comprehend.

"Listen, I know it's impossible but I want you to hear me out."

You shook your head, reality dawning on you like a meteor crashing right at your sanity.

This can't be happening, not when you think you have already made progress and now, he's back into this kind of form that makes you remember every memory whether it is good or bad.

An incoming panic attack washes over you but it was quickly replaced by a soothing sensation when a gentle melody resounded throughout the expanse of your room.

It's the lullaby that Yunho always sings to alleviate any negative emotions within you, works like magic and after a few more minutes, you were back to your rational self.

"Are you okay?"

You looked at him, trying to make sense of the conundrum you're in, "I d-don't know."

Yunho's eyes trailed down on his shoes, guilt eating him up because he knows that showing his self out of the blue won't do you any good, but what can he do?

He was always there, watching you everyday and he couldn't take it anymore. He can't bear seeing you suffer, he wanted to help, he must do his best for you to be able to smile again.

"Forgotten promise." he blurted out, making you look up and focus on him.

"I am here because of that, a forgotten promise."

It was quiet for a minute, scrutinizing the man until you realized that he's still wearing the outfit that you last saw him in.

Blue long sleeved polo topped with a maroon sweater, paired with denim pants and white rubber shoes.

He looks ethereal as usual, handsome yet adorable that always made you doubt how lucky you are, getting a perfect man like him in your boring existence, until he left you all alone.

"What is that?" you weakly asked, wanting answers that will aid to the growing confusion and distraught in your mind.

"I want to show it to you!" he exclaimed, a bright smile forming in his face as he approached you, his hands enveloping yours.

It's surprisingly warm, contrary to the belief that ghosts are wintry beings, not able to make in contact with-

"How are you able to touch me?"

Incredulous yet the butterflies in your stomach are wilding, even more so when he flashed a charming grin at you, "Call it a miracle, I mean, I am here, right?"

You let him drag you out of your house, not having the energy to fight against this, or whatever the circumstances are.

The bystanders on the street looked at you weirdly, (which is understandable since your posture looks like someone invisible is pulling you.)

"Wait a minute. I'm the only one who can see you?"

"I guess? It's only you that matters the most to me so it might work like that."

Stopping your steps, the both of you arrived at a park, the place where you met Yunho, also where a lot of your firsts happened.

"Why are we here?"

He held your hand tighter, somehow wanting to feel more of you even if he knows that he can't do that anymore, thus, the least that he can do is to not let go of you for the remaining time he had left.

"You'll see."

Tugging you with him, he led you to a garden filled with colorful flowers, trees everywhere and overall an astonishing landscape.

"The locus of our firsts." you mumbled, viewing the place that started it all, melancholy blooming in your heart.

You met him out of coincidence, bumping into his broad back because your clumsy ass decided to use your phone while walking.

Like a drama scene, he caught you in his arms, an electrifying eye contact derived, a small smile adorning his face when your hands flew to his shoulders.

He didn't let you fall on your ass that day but he made sure that you'll fall for him. He was following you 'til you afternoon, walking you back home and asking for your number and name.

It was really sweet of him when he asked you out on a date the next day, having the best time of your life, thinking that yeah, maybe you'll have this man in your life until you're old and gray.

"Hey look!" Yunho excitedly pointed at a nearby tree, the spot where your first date happened, "We had a picnic under the cherry blossoms, then you ate the gochu! That really was a funny one."

You snorted, remembering that he also kissed you during that time.

"Oh my god." you let your tongue dangle out of your mouth, fanning your face wildly as you tried to reduce the heat that you regretfully took upon yourself.

"Good grief."

Yunho snickered to himself, finding you cute for doing something you're not accustomed to just to make yourself look cool in front of him.

His hands extended themselves towards you, effectively cutting your hysterics when he collided his lips with yours.

You were briefly shocked, quickly getting over it and reciprocating his kiss, enjoying his soft and mellow lips.

Yunho breathed against your skin, "I could kiss you forever if you'll let me."

A sorrowful expression decorated your face, actuality pressuring you in a spiral of anguish.

The Yunho you're with now is not alive, he is a mere specter of your past that will never return and live with you in the present, even until future.

A shadow that won't be able to kiss and cuddle you everyday, a dark chassis that creeps up on you and you can't do anything but to drown in it.

You clasped a hand over your mouth, grief overwhelming you at the thought of the man that you once loved, still love, and will always love, will never truly return to you.

Yunho's gaze was fixated on you, angry that he can't bring you comfort like he used to.

He heaved a sigh, looking at the setting sun that shone its bright orange hue down on earth, gracing an ambience of joy and enthusiasm, although none of you can feel any of it.

"Y/N."

His voice snapped you out of your stupor, craning your head to get a good look of him.

"Come with me, I have to show you something." a light smile heightens his sharp features, nodding his head towards a direction that leads to a forest.

The two of you trudged your way into the sinister woods for a few minutes until you reached what seems like a top of a hill. The moon has already risen over the black skies, stars winking at anyone who dares to peek at them.

"What are we supposed to do here?"

You were pinned at your place when you felt arms snaked around your waist, a head softly situating itself in the crook of your neck.

"I'm sorry."

Yunho spoke, voice above a whisper as he poured his final words and goodbyes.

"I'm so sorry, love, for leaving you so suddenly."

Your hands went over to hold his own, eyes getting glossy due to the tears that are starting to form, "It was so difficult to go on without you."

"I know, baby, I know." his hold on you got tighter, your body shivering either from the freezing air or fear that when he lets go of you, he'll go far away from your reach.

"Don't go."

Clammy hands and shaky voice, desperately begging for him to stay with you even if he's nothing but a phantom of your dreams.

You'd rather live with his ghost rather than be haunted by your yearning for him, the most that your greedy self can have is a memoir of him, a proof that he's there with you.

"Let's play." Yunho muttered, releasing you from his cozy touch that had you crying out, terrified of him deserting you.

"No, Yunho. I won't, please, don't divert the topic." you yelled, your heels rotating to face him, tired and frustrated about the whole thing.

"You can't just show yourself to me like this and leave like nothing happened!"

Tears are now falling uncontrollably, staining your plump cheeks and blurring your vision.

"You did that once and now you're gonna repeat it? Just how cruel can you be?"

After your last statement, it was impossible for you to stand, sliding down to ground as your wobbly knees can't support you anymore, you feel like floating with all the amount of mental and emotional torment that you're experiencing.

Yunho gritted his teeth, his heart physically breaking at the sight of you breaking down. He did not mean for this to happen, but what can he do when he fought his way out of here?

He clenched his fists, squatting down to your level and wiping your tears softly. Yunho hates seeing you cry, more so when he's the reason for it. All he prays is for you to be happy, and that he can't achieve.

"Hide-and-seek." he said, bewilderment etched on your face.

A tender smile stretched on Yunho's face, caressing your soft skin, "Let's play, I did told you that I needed to finish a promise."

Oh.

He cupped your face, lips pressing on your forehead, "I was on my way here on the day the accident happened." he murmured, continuing his small speech when you didn't make any move.

"For a whole year, I planned everything, and now I want to execute that. So," he pulled away from you, peering into your eyes and you were mesmerized by his pretty brown orbs, "will you please let me?"

"Okay." you sniffled, closing your eyes and starting the game.

He gave you a loving pat on the crown of your head, thanking you before taking a few steps back.

"Start the countdown, darling."

You did as he said albeit unstable and hesitant.

3

A bright light engulfed Yunho's body, big, fat tears cascading down on his face as he memorized every detail of you.

2

Slowly fading away, whispering an 'I love you' that you might not even hear.

1

You opened your eyes only to be greeted by an empty space, Yunho nowhere to be found and you let the tears flow freely.

He disappeared from your life again.

Just how many heartbreaks do you have to experience? How much more do you have to endure?

A shiny glint garnered your attention, there below you, lying in the greenery is a beautiful diamond ring, a letter beside it that contains your significant other's heartfelt message.

Gathering the courage to pick the piece of paper up, you opened it and read the contents.

"Ehem! Greetings my one and only lovey dovey!

I just want to tell you that I, Jeong "your baby" Yunho, doesn't want to be your boyfriend anymore. I want to be your lifetime instead, so, will you please do the honor of being my bride? Then be my wife, then be the mother of my kids, and you know the rest.

Okay, even in this I ramble please, I do this because I love you so much!

I can't wait for our wedding T.T"

Under the starry night, atop of the hill of hopes and longing, your loud weeping echoes and unto the heavens, crippling the paper like how your heart is, knowing that you won't ever have the chance to cross the bridge that he walked on.

Maybe one day, in another life, you'll meet each other again, be with each other again, and perhaps live until tomorrow ends.

[0risha]

RECOGNITION

series m.list

PAIRING : sukuna x fem!reader

SUMMARY : when an exchange student comes to jujutsu tech, Itadori is set on finding out why the King of curses is so interested in you.

TAGS : fluff, the tiniest bit of angst, jjk anime spoilers, some curse words, reader is described as a black female

NOTES : i’ve read a couple of works where sukuna meets his reincarnated lover so I wanted to try it out too, hope you enjoy. was supposed to make progress with my wips but I was in a sukuna mood. (◕ᴗ◕✿)

Sukuna feels your presence before he sees you. It’s one of those cliché moments where time puts its hand up to signal a standstill. Yuuji can feel it too when you pass by, your long braids swishing with each step.

He’s sure that he’s never seen you before but his shared body buzzes in remembrance. All the while, his emotions are overtaken by the unbridled feeling of wanting. 

After that, Itadori never took it upon himself to ask Sukuna about the matter because the curse didn’t seem to want to.

Sukuna had become more and more suppressed, his usual pop-ups were a rare occurrence, even when Megumi was around. However, for the whole month you’d been at Jujutsu Tech, the King of curses had been intent on observing from his throne of woven carcasses, body hunched over to just watch.

You’re an exchange student, Itadori recalls Gojo’s past conversation about a new second-year that would be coming from the states. You’re strong — at first, Itadori couldn’t help but think that this revelation was the reason for Sukuna’s interest —your cursed energy being perfect sediment for close combat and dealing precise blows, all the same, Itadori could feel a grappling hook of something that seemed to be festering.

It’s dark and brooding and it stirs every time you come into contact with him. And Yuuji thinks he might go crazy because he wants to know your connection with Sukuna and it’s not like he can ask you because your aura screams — unapproachable.

His chance comes when all the first-years are assigned to a mission, you're there for extra measure. Gojo’s shaman instincts telling him that this mission was far too exceeding for him, Nobara, and Megumi.

Though just as Gojo predicted, it goes terribly wrong and Itadori keels over with an empty hollow where his heart should be.

His last thoughts are consumed with a screeching mantra of his late grandfather’s words. In the crevice of his flickering mind, they're big bold letters that drip with poisoned regret.

Before his vision goes black, the last thing he sees is a heart-broken Megumi and your face which is flooded with guilt.

When Itadori comes face to face with the King of curses, the stench of rotting death overpowering his senses, he mulls over the terms laid out by Sukuna to come back, alive.

To be reunited with his friends and become some type of savior —sukuna's words, not his— he'd give up the reigns of his body so Sukuna could talk to you whenever he chose.

For the exchange of his life, the rules weren’t bad, a part of him knows that this selfish override could cause problems for you in the future, but he still agrees.

When he wakes up to a pure white ceiling and the smell of bleach he doesn’t expect to see you towering over him. Moving up to a sitting position, his cheeks nearly bleed red because he’s naked. His eyes frantically flit over to Gojo who’s sitting in the corner of the room, watching the exchange. The white-haired sorcerer shrugs in a ridiculed manner —silently telling Itadori that it wasn’t his problem.

“You called me,” your voice filters through the bright room. His eyebrows crinkle in confusion. Sukuna must've did something.

When his eyes flit back to you, he’s met with your monotone expression, your cascade of braids framing your face. And for the third time in his life, he’s scared. 

Your cursed energy, which for your level should leave little to no residual, is flaring with onyx undertones. Its sharpened jaws nearing closer and closer to Itadori in a beckoning manner. He's not sure why it's visible in the first place.

Gojo stays silent.

Brat, let me out. Sukuna, for the first time in weeks, pops up with a wide mouth on the palm of his hand. Without a second thought, Itadori allows him. 

Whilst wading in his domain of subconsciousness, he watches the exchange. Your expression stays the same as you study Sukuna’s marked face. 

“So hostile,” Sukuna bares, his powerful aura sifting through the room. You roll your eyes and crack a smile. Seamlessly ignoring the other man in the room— who you know Sukuna has a grudge with. 

“Am I not supposed to be?” you cross your arms and ask. “Being friendly would get me in trouble.”

“You remember me?” The King of curses cuts straight to the point, the question being so unexpected that Gojo shuffles in his seat, his spine rigid with anticipation. 

You nod stiffly. "I didn’t at first, not fully at least, but after coming into contact a few times, yeah.”

“It’s a shame I don’t have control over this body,” Sukuna presses a palm to your cheek, no doubt a loving caress. His deep baritone voice causing your skin to erupt into a turnpike for goosebumps to situate. “Do you remember how we parted last?”

“A sorcerer killed me or something,” you scratch the back of your neck under his intense stare. “Right through here,” you confess, pointing to the middle of your sternum.

“And you’ve become one?” Sukuna quirks an eyebrow, shoulders stiff with anger. 

“I didn’t even know I knew you until a month ago, calm down,” you wave in dismissal. Itadori takes note in the way Sukuna visibly relaxes, your words washing him in a bucket of warmth. “Is that all? I’ve got a mission in thirty minutes.” 

“I’m coming with you.” Sukuna jumps off the steel table, his bare feet touching the cool ground. You turn your eyes away from the bottom half of his body, ears growing hot in embarrassment.

“Eh? Is that allowed?” You turn to Gojo who’s still analyzing the situation beforehand and he shrugs with complacency. “Don’t let anyone see him,” Gojo warns, his stare serious even under his blindfold. You're not exactly sure what Gojo's thinking but you grasp the opportunity.

When you leave the autopsy room with a naked Sukuna by your side, careful to avoid any areas where Sukuna’s aura might be felt, you make it to Itadori’s dorm.

“Here.” You throw him Yuuji’s formal uniform and a pair of brown boots you find in the corner of his room. “I’m not wearing this,” Sukuna interjects.

“Huh?” Your upper lip curls up in confusion. “Then you’re not coming with me.” You turn to leave but he catches your arm in a tight grip.

“Fine, since you’re so damn adamant.” He releases his grip on your arm to slip into Yuuji’s clothes, when he finishes he turns to you with a glare.

“Good boy,” you praise, patting his tattooed cheek.

Internally, Itadori’s too bewildered to tease the curse. In all of his time spent with Sukuna in his body, he’s never seen the King of curses voluntarily listen to somebody else’s demands. The murky water he stands in ripples as he sits to observe everything that’s transpiring. 

When you both reach the site you were assigned to, you sigh in annoyance. “What is it?” Sukuna asks, hands in pockets as he studies your face.

“I was hoping to have an easy day, they’re not dangerous or anything but there’s more than a dozen in there.” You point to the abandoned building, its steel beams bending with age.

“I’ll exorcise them for you.”  

This is going completely against this guy’s morals, Yuuji thinks. 

Your eyebrows fly to your forehead as you grow giddy with happiness. “Really?” You exclaim clambering up to wrap him in a hug.

“If you don’t let go, I won’t.” He grumbles, head in your neck while inhaling your sweet scent. 

“Okayyy,” you inhale, trailing off, Sukuna not too far behind. 

The exorcism is completed in fifteen seconds, tops. You stare in amazement at his lithe movements. His sharp fingers extinguishing cores with precise stabs— the same way he did his vessel. When he’s done he turns to you with an eyebrow raised, his hands wet with unspoken substance. You turn away with a humph. 

“Was it not fast enough?” He walks towards you, concern written all over his expression.

“It was too fast,” you proclaim.

“Huh?” 

“You’re a show-off,” you turn to exit the building, your braids whizzing past his face. You hear his roaring laughter behind you as you make it outside.

The smell of freshly churned earth enters your nostrils as you walk down a fenced sidewalk with bent daffodils. “Where are we going?”

“A ramen shop.” His gaze flicks over to study your face which is softened with what seems to be tranquility. His heart tides over with pride once he realizes that you feel content with him, a 1000-year-old curse.

However, he knows it’s the result of your memories that tie in with his; shared massacres and intertwined fates. Multiple restarts of what seemed to be a never-ending cycle of mingled hearts. But this time jump was different than the others. 

You being a sorcerer is not the only obstacle, at all.

“Sukuna? Hey– you’re spacing out.” You wave a hand in front of his face to grab his attention. 

“We’re here.” He looks up to see a small ramen shop, its logo old with age. As he enters the shop, he somehow finds contentment in being in a place that you like. 

—

“You know you’re probably attracting sorcerers and curses alike as we speak?” You inquire, grabbing your ramen bowl from the waiter who nervously glances at Sukuna. His tattooed face also attracting unwanted attention. 

“Mhm, I’ll just kill them if they interfere.” You whip your head to turn to the waiter who you’re relieved to see, had already left.

“I knew you’d say that,” you stuff your face with a handful of steaming noodles. 

“Sukuna?”

“Mhm?” 

“What’s gonna happen between us?” You flick your index finger back and forth. “It’s not like the other times, I’m a dedicated sorcerer.”

“So?” 

“You’re the King of curses, I’m a sorcerer.” You repeat, dropping your wooden chopsticks to place your head on your propped fist. 

“Already made a deal with the brat, I can talk to you whenever and wherever I want,” he pulls his face closer to yours. 

“Yeah? What happens when they execute Itadori?” You curl your hands into balled fists, an unfamiliar emotion welling up in your throat. Somehow, it doesn't fit. It crosses your veins in a parasitic manner and your eyes glaze over.

“I’ll just come back.” He states matter of factly, voice coated with arrogance.

“You promise?” You whisper, holding out your pinky finger. You nearly scoff at your own action.

Ignoring the finger you bare out, he presses his lips against yours. It’s the same as he can remember, centuries ago. His body elates with a hum of electricity. And it's as if his body's creating a second space of void in which he feels his every sense being sharpened; the smooth curve of your full lips and the salty taste of previous ramen.

But before the kiss can go any further, you're pulling back.

“That was uh…” You blink once, twice, trying desperately to collect your thoughts. When you look back to Sukuna, you instead are met with Itadori’s clear face.

“The hell are you doing, brat?” Sukuna bares his teeth on the right side of Itadori’s cheek. ”I- I’m sorry just got a little uh.. flustered.” 

“The fuck are you getting flustered for?” Sukuna growls. 

“I- uh..” 

“It’s okay Yuuji, you can switch again another time,” you sympathize with the boy. His cheeks are coated in red.

“It’s getting late, eat some ramen so we can go.” You chuckle. Itadori nods as his hand reaches towards a pair of chopsticks.

“Touch my ramen and I’ll kill you again, you damn brat.”

back to m.list

[snelbz]

I'll Be Seeing You {2}

Nesta x Cassian, 1940′s AU

Collaboration with @tacmc​

Summary: After Cassian gets injured in the war, he’s taken to a war camp to be cared for until he gains enough strength to return to his battalion. While he’s there, he falls for a nurse that couldn’t care less about his title and doesn’t put up with his bullshit. Once he’s healed and the years pass by, he finds that there’s only one thing he wants to remember from the war, and she’s only a letter away.

Trigger Warnings: war

A/N: Enjoy a surprise chapter a couple days early, we’re just too excited for y’all to read this story.

Chapters will be posted every Monday.

Word Count: 2336

IBSY Masterlist

Shelby’s Masterlist

Tara’s Masterlist 

Nesta was making her rounds as the sun set outside of their desolate war camp.

It had been a long day, one filled with losses. After the ambush two days prior, their tent had become full. Now, there were far too many empty beds.

It never became easier.

With every soul that she attempted to heal that passed from this world to the next, she felt like a failure, even though it was impossible to save every soldier that had been injured in the heart of battle.

There were victories, though.

Those who were left in the tent were improving.

The ambush had brought in nearly fifty injured soldiers, and just over twenty of them remained.

Including Corporal Cassian Nazari, who she was walking up to now, a glass of water in hand.

He blinked a few times against the light of the guttering candle on the table, but after a moment his eyes settled on her. Settled, but still glazed with pain.

“Nurse Nesta,” he said, voice rasping from sleep, attempting to resituate himself in the uncomfortable bed, with one good arm. “Is it time for my sponge bath already?”

She sighed through her nose and closed her eyes, resisting the urge to rub her temples.

Most men in the infirmary were polite, respectful, grateful to be taken care of, especially knowing what befell their fellow soldiers who hadn’t been quite as lucky as they were. The first day she’d attended to the corporal, she’d assumed his inappropriate comment about foreplay had been some sort of unintended joke, something he hadn’t been able to control as he awoke.

But as Cassian slowly healed, Nesta learned those little comments were quite regular for him. And when he learned that they made her blush, or even snap at him occasionally, it only made him say them more frequently.

“I’ll give you a bucket and a sponge and you may help yourself,” she quipped. “Does that interest you?”

He laughed, quietly, but winced as it seemed the simple shaking of his shoulders brought a bout of pain. “You’re in a good mood today.”

“Why do you think that?” she asked.

“You joke with me,” Cassian said, shrugging a shoulder. “You joke when you’re in a good mood.”

“I don’t joke,” she replied. “I only give back what is given to me, even though I do it in a far more appropriate way.”

“There are worse things than being inappropriate,” Cassian promised her.

Nesta simply shook her head. “Here.”

He took the pill from her palm and took it, swallowing it with the glass of water she gave him. For a moment, his eyes closed and he sighed, deeply.

“How are you feeling today?” She asked, sitting down in the chair next to the table. He opened his eyes and she reached out to feel his head. He had been feverish the night before, and she was worried about infection setting in.

He was just as clammy as he’d been, if not more so. There was a slight sheen of sweat on his brow, but before she said anything, she wanted to hear it from him. Even if she was fairly sure it would be a lie laced with male bravado.

“Fine,” he replied, though he attempted to sit up with one arm again and winced. “Like I could get back on the battlefields right now.”

Rolling her eyes, she stood. “Too bad that won’t be happening yet.”

She strode for the medicine cabinet in the center of the tent, aiming for an antibiotic strong enough to stave off the infection. His own inability to keep still had led she and Madja to band his fractured arm to his side, but this kept the bullet wounds on his back from airing out. It was about choosing the lesser of two evils with this man it seemed.

Last night, they’d elected to set his arm. Tonight, it seemed he’d go back in the sling and she’d see what needed tending to on his back.

“Are you allergic to penicillin, Corporal?” Nesta asked, coming back to his cot.

“Not that I’m aware of, but I have a feeling that we’re about to find out for certain,” he noted, chuckling, then breaking into a cough fit.

“Alright,” she sighed, and pulled him fully into sitting position. “It seems you still have a fever. I’m going to give you this penicillin. Then, I’m going to take off your bandages and clean your wounds.”

“And then?” he asked.

Nesta blinked, hesitating as she a needle with the drug. “Pardon?”

“After you clean my wounds, what will you do?” Cassian asked, that sly smile remaining. “Because I have a few ideas-.”

“Corporal,” Nesta interrupted. “I am here to heal you, and nothing more.”

Cassian lifted a brow. “First of all, it’s Major, actually. It’s been years since I was a corporal. Secondly, I thought we could play a card game. What was it you were thinking?” Nesta’s cheeks heated and she ignored his pointed question. “My apologies, but Private Hale said—.”

“He knows nothing, which is why he’s only a private.”

She cleared her throat and held out her hand, letting him take the two pills in her palm. He did so, without any commentary, which Nesta took as a blessed relief.

She retrieved the sling his arm had previously been in, as well as fresh bandages, an ewer of fresh water and a bottle of antiseptic.

And a bit to put between his teeth in case the pin became too unbearable.

With a few tugs on the knots tying them together, Nesta unwrapped his arm from his body, not taking a full look at his back yet.

Almost immediately, Cassian tried to stretch out his arm, which earned him a chastising look from Nesta. “It’s tight,” he defended.

“If you move it too much before it’s had time to set and heal, tight will be the least of your worries, Major,” she replied, carefully tying the two ends of the fabric sling around his neck. “Not to mention your shoulder is still too weak as well. Do you want to dislocate it again?”

He grumbled something that sounded similar to No, ma’am, and sat still while Nesta settled his arm into place.

Once she tended to his arm, she prepared herself to examine his back again.

“This isn’t going to feel good,” she warned, taking in the angry, red skin puckering the edges of the wounds. They’d been able to retrieve the bullets while he was unconscious, but they weren’t in the most ideal and clean conditions for a healing to take place. Gently pressing her fingers around the mildest looking one earned a hiss and sudden jerk from Cassian. As well as puss, far more puss than Nesta was expecting. “I’m going to have to clean these out.”

“Can’t you give me more of that stuff that put me under and do what you need to do?”

His words weren’t unkind, but the tone… Nesta knew he was in pain.

She could, of course, but the powdered pain killer was much stronger than what she’d already administered. Not to mention is much, much shorter supply. It was reserved for surgeries, mostly, or life-threatening injuries.

An injury like the major had been brought in with at the time.

Not for a standard, but nasty, infection, unfortunately.

War was unfair, Nesta decided then. She’d known it for quite a while, watching good men die for their lands, but it was evident in that moment as she looked at the man’s ravaged back before her.

“Unfortunately, no,” she said, at last. “But I promise to work quickly.”

He gave her a curt nod and braced himself.

The alcohol burned, she knew that, she knew that it had to feel like fire was being lit to the surface of the skin, but as she poured the alcohol over the wound and began to clean it, the only sense of pain that Cassian showed was his rigid posture.

“Bear with me,” Nesta muttered, beginning to rebandage the wound.

“Got any whiskey?” he asked.

Despite herself, Nesta snorted. “No, I don’t. Is that your drink of choice, major?”

She was trying to distract him, trying to make the time go by just a little bit quicker as she worked.

“Usually,” he said, and huffed. “Every now and then I like to order a simple lager.”

“Lager,” she repeated. “What a luxury.”

“It has been a while,” he agreed.

She worked in silence for a few minutes, having to go so far as to scrape out the bits of skin that were too far gone and only likely to slow down the healing process. But when his breathing became ragged as she started on the worst of the wounds, the one right near his spine, she asked, “What’s the first meal you’re going to have when you get home? What have you been dreaming of since you enlisted?”

Mindless chatter, she reminded herself, was just as effective as a painkiller.

He was quiet for a moment, only hissing as she pressed the alcohol-soaked rag to his back. She had accepted he wasn’t going to answer when he softly asked, “Don’t you mean if?”

She was suddenly very thankful that she was working on his back and was unable to see his face. Playing dumb, she kept him talking. “I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“Don’t you mean if I get home?” He asked. His voice was hollow, lacking the warmth it usually did when he spoke. It was unlike what she’d started to grow accustomed to. “This is a war we’re in the middle of, ma’am.”

She cleared her throat, continuing to work. “I think you ought to change your manner of speech, major, or you’ll be more likely to conscribe yourself to believe the worst.” Pressing a clean bandage to his skin to staunch the bleeding, she asked, “Now about that meal, sir?”

Surprising her, he laughed, quietly. “I guess I haven’t thought about it too much. My mother used to make a mean pork roast. With carrots and potatoes. That would hit the spot right about now.”

Nesta couldn’t help but lick her lips at the thought of a nice, hot, homemade dinner. “How about dinner rolls?”

Cassian hummed. “My mom used to make the fluffiest dinner rolls. She used to make me roll the dough. I hated it, until it was time to eat them.”

She smiled to herself. “My sister Elain loves to bake. She makes this pear crumble…” Shaking her head, she sighed. “It’s the best. Especially when she whips cream to put on top.”

“I don’t remember the last time I had a warm dessert,” he admitted, wincing as she applied antibacterial cream to the wounds. Turning to glance at her, he amended, “Actually, I don’t remember the last time I had a hot meal.”

The words hurt Nesta’s heart. The food they had in the med camps weren’t great, but she was sure they were better than rations the soldiers were issued.

“Tell me more about your sister,” he breathed, clearly needing the distraction while she worked.

Nesta sighed. “Which one?”

“How many do you have?” he asked.

“Two,” Nesta said. “Couldn’t be more opposite of one another. Feyre, the youngest, would rather spend her time painting, or outdoors in the woods behind our house, while Elain prefers to spend her time baking, or in her garden.”

Cassian nodded, thoughtfully. “And you?”

“What of me?” she asked, beginning to rebandage his wounds.

“What do you prefer to do with your time?” he pushed.

Nesta’s hands slowed. She wished she had more time to fill as of late. “I enjoy reading, I suppose.”

“You suppose?” he asked, then chuckled.

“What’s so funny about that?” Nesta asked, eyes narrowed at the back of his head.

“You either do or you don’t,” he said, shrugging, and wincing from the simple motion. “But, you suppose.”

Nesta scoffed. “Fine. I enjoy reading.”

“What manner of books?”

She hesitated for a moment. “Romance.”

He snorted. “Of course. Let me guess, a knight in shining armor, coming to rescue a damsel in distress?”

Nesta’s cheeks heated as his guess was nearly spot on of the plot of one of the tattered, well-loved books she kept in the small bag she brought with her from home. “And what’s so wrong with a knight saving a lady who needs help?”

“Nothing,” he replied, trying to shift his hurt arm. She adjusted the sling to hold him tighter. “I just think it’s a silly ideal to hold. Not everyone is going to have someone come save them.”

She was suddenly very aware of the fact that they were in a med camp in the middle of war.

“I guess you’re right,” she mused. “But I don’t see why that should stop anyone from dreaming.”

Cassian huffed and said nothing more.

When Nesta was finished, she asked, “How does that feel?”

“As good as it can,” he answered, in grumpy sincerity. “Although, I still wouldn’t mind that sponge bath.”

“Has anyone ever told you how ridiculously impossible you are?” she asked, the words flying out of her mouth before she could think better of it.

Cassian’s smile only grew. “If only you knew.”

Nesta’s chin rose as she tried to make sense of his remark, but she asked, “Can I get you anything else for the time being?” Cassian opened his mouth, but Nesta interrupted with, “Nothing that has to do with sponges.”

He laughed, quietly. “A cure for boredom?”

Just as Nesta was getting ready to reply, a cry came from just outside the tent, and her body was tensing, preparing itself. Madja’s eyes connected with hers, and Nesta’s feet were immediately in motion.

Another body coming in, caught in warfare.

It seemed he would have to entertain himself, as Nesta was once again vividly reminded that no one may ever come to save her.

But that didn’t mean she couldn’t save someone else.

[i-dor-u]

hichigo shirosaki x reader; pretty, pretty human.

NOTE: I’m back with another Bleach fanfic! I wrote this about a year ago or something, and I have to say, Hichigo does something strange to me and looks like me from one year ago felt it too. He’s totally out of character in this drabble, and a lot more after editing it, but I hope it’s an enjoyable read regardless. Also, I have no logical explanation for the setting. I must’ve written this while on a sugar rush or something. Please bear with me. Yes, the image choice is a bit funny. In my defense, I didn’t notice Ichigo in the back until really late haha.

pairing: hichigo shirosaki/hollow ichigo x gn!/fem!reader;

content warnings: cursing, mostly out of character hichigo, something of an angsty reader but fluff for the most part, hurt and comfort (?), possible spelling errors;

content synopsis: you’re being called by your unusual friend in an unusual spot which, however, became familiar. you grasp this opportunity of confessing your hatred for the world which leads to an unexpected discovery.

word count: 1,421.

currently playing: grimes — before the fever.

more of my works...

When the floorboards of your bedroom began to come crashing down under your feet, you felt the same adrenaline and surging rush as you always would. You find yourself free falling through the groundwork - or, rather, through nothingness - as you feel your wide eyes dry from the incomprehensible rate you were falling at. Even if the speed was almost too overwhelming, you felt no panic. It all became a familiar, if not straight up peaceful jest. After all, he'd always call you when he feels lonely. And he is permanently lonely.

You feel your body tense and tingle as your breathing become hoarse which signaled you that you are approaching your destination. You groaned stubbornly mid-air once you acknowledge the possibility that you might land with your face on the heavy concrete. And he'd tease you about it for as long as he sees fit; it's how he deals with you. "Again?!" You almost yell in exasperation as you make an effort to stabilize yourself on your feet. You did land face-down, after all. Ouch, your pride. However, before you could articulate another thought, you hear an odd laugh. A damned laugh which deep fried your brain each time you tried to repel the sound of. How was his voice so annoying, anyway? Strange, and... robotic. And boy, was he obnoxious. "Again." Is the sole thought his brain articulates.

You looked up to Hichigo, the source of the laughter, only to have your eyes widen when faced with the evident modifications of his physical appearance. His pale complex, however, was still here. He looked brush-painted like he always would. "You..." You exude a gentle whisper; usually, your words come out full of resolution, but the way Hichigo gazed at you from above rendered you tame. It was strange, if not overwhelming. His hair was visibly longer, falling on his back while gently strummed by the winds that went north-east in his reversed world which blew through his scattered black shihakusho as well. The horned Hollow mask on the left side of his head was a new addition to his attire, too; but before you could throw any questions in his way, he tackles your body warmly. Hichigo captures your much weaker body with his arms that were oddly welcoming at this time of the day. You felt his fingers brush down your spine, warmly, and it made your heart pitter-patter. He felt soft. His sway was safe. It nearly annoyed you how little effort he required to render your cheeks bleeding into shades of red. "Why won't you come here by yourself? I feel like I wouldn't miss you so much if you came voluntarily." He speaks loudly, but in an obviously gentler manner than his usual vocal approach. It all made you wonder if you were truly dealing with the bloodthirsty, vindictive hollow you knew. You refrained from hugging him back, only because you couldn't fully comprehend the situation. However, you did realize that your disobedient reaction will displease him. But ultimately, he releases you. Hichigo reacts to your distant manners with a pouty frown which makes you reconsider every choice you've made ever since you arrived at his side. "C'mon, you wouldn't even hug back? You must've hit your head when you fell down here," he adds whilst his unhidden pride comes to play, finally displaying his usual deceiving grin. You finally gather the courage to add a say in the matter, "Why did you hug me? You never do that." Well, you perhaps needed a hug in these trying times. Or maybe more than that, but you didn't want to be too self-indulgent.

Hichigo displayed an expression of suspicion; only then you finally came to your senses. Does he know? He stares you right in your eyes, and you lose your visual balance; even so, you manage to break the unbearable eye contact, "Stop looking at me, stupid." His lips curve into an unusually sympathetic smile, "You really are a mess." And if yes, what exactly does he know?

With your eyebrows furrowing when faced with his words, you attempted to stop your already trembling eyelids from showing any disgraceful emotion, only to not make a fool of yourself. Not in front of him. "How do you know?" You ask softly, making an effort not to sound authoritative; however, you did manage to make yourself feel vulnerable in all ways. The tears threatening to fall from your eyes were no strangers hand in hand with your suffering, but how could you ever display a vulnerable, weak sight in front of him? In front of an individual who bears no feelings other than thirst of battle and infliction of pain.

Even with you lost in thought, Hichigo approaches, and you become afraid of what he would say or do next. But he answers your question sincerely, "How could I not? I can hear and feel you all the way here. [Name], how are you always so upset? Who is doing it to you?" Your eyes widen furiously - but you refrain from making a scene. Even so, you want to take it out on him; to rage from all sides to make up for his assumptions. But you never did. "I just hate everything, so much," You begin to confess, or rather, to plead, "Everything is terrible... and I'm so angry because I can't fix it. I just hate where everything is going, how there's so much irreparable evil that goes unpunished, not suffering, not feeling pain... I hate it so much, and I hate myself, because I muse and rot over it, when I should be a careless asshole like everybody else..." Your voice was cracking with every point your made. All of your statements were forged with rage, each of them sharing a piece of your anger, but also grief. A lot of irrational grief, or so you thought.

You purse your trembling lips as you feel warm tears descending on your cheeks. These stupid tears. You wiped them with the sleeve of your shirt, "I..." You felt lost. Not in rage, but in sadness, deviation, shame. And you looked stupid. Above all, you couldn't stand that he could see your stupid crying face. You sniff, and you hear a tad laughter, a laughter that you were convinced was meant to pester you. All of which lasted only until you felt Hichigo’s bleached fingers crawl up your cheeks. His hands cupped your face strained by cleansing tears, obligating you to look into his dark, usually lifeless pupils that were at their warmest now. His expression was soft, somehow understanding. It gave you comfort but confusion all in the same brew. You cry, and you hear an answer. "You're such a human, [Name]," Hichigo speaks slowly, gently, as if he tried to preserve your meek exterior, "Pretty, pretty human." You feel his fingers trace your lips, slowly; it was an absent-minded brush, but there was nothing unpleasant about it. Your stained, defeated sight followed his movements, internally delighted that you're finally touched. You just wanted to be touched. "You're too good to be real, aren't you?" The familiarity in his tone slowly fades into something quiet and welcoming, "Then I'll just have to protect you." His promising words were followed by an unexpected gesture; his lips carefully brushed against yours, taking you off guard. He pressed gently, making it feel so wet and safe. You didn't hate it; why would you? You gave in you after shortly deciding to do so, only to find yourself gently kissing the Hollow. Your waist was carefully captured by his fingers, pressing against your clothed skin heavily only to bring you closer under his touch. After all, you're his; both to protect... and to serve. You firmly gripped his already unkempt collar, only leaving it loose when you realize you might leave traces of the desperation which you didn’t want to expose, even if it may or may not be present. You had no trouble keeping up with his welcoming pace, and you could feel his delight against your lips as he hummed in pleasure while indulging with the taste of you like the pretty, pretty human that you are. When you two depart, you find yourself face to face with the same mischievous smirk as you always would. But this time, it all felt sweeter. "Just as I thought, sweet and welcoming," added Hichigo, brushing his fingertips against your lips one last time, "such a good master for me."

[sweetestlamb]

Flashlight

Author's note: Wasn't episode 8 just lovely? I just couldn't get this out of my head, they're becoming so dependent on each other. Be still my beating heart. They're reminding me of my MoonMun couple so much and I think that explains my obsession and the amount of fics I've written thus far lol.

Summary: Just for tonight he'll be selfish.

"Are you okay now? Is there someone there?" He moves towards the dark alley that she came bolting from looking as frightened as he's ever seen her. He feels his muscles coil ready to protect her by any means possible. But before he can move she's tightening her hold on him, clinging to him now he can feel her warmth all around him like a blanket.

"No! Don't leave me." Hearing that scared plea causes a blurry memory to resurface in his mind, he can almost feel the words swimming in his mind but the memory is foggy and it evaporates as quickly as it formed.

Strange.

"Okay, okay. I'm not going anywhere. Let's go inside." He starts to maneuver her toward her house at first she moves with him but then she stills, letting out a small sound of recollection.

"My phone." She whispers into his chest, they are pressed so closely he can feel her heartbeat still pounding through her chest into his. He strokes her back in a lazy soothing manner, shocked when she melts into his embrace further. Nothing is making sense at this moment but he doesn't care enough to stop, this.

"What about your phone?" He redirects the conversation and she continues, "I dropped it in there when I ran away."

"Okay. I'll go get it, wait here." He starts to gently untangle her hands from his flannel but she lets out a whine, gripping his shirt even stronger and moving with him.

"I'll---let's go together."

She's trembling now, positively shaking in her spot and he wants to argue with her to just go inside and wait for him but her earlier plea echoes in his ears. He can't leave her alone not right now, so he steps forward feeling her move with him, one step after another until he sees the rectangular object on the ground.

"I'm going to bend down to get it." He can feel her shifting beside him looking around wildly but thankfully no ominous figure appears, they are alone.

After a moment she nods, letting go enough for him to bend and retrieve the device and he checks the screen noting happily that it's not damaged but when he touches the screen it doesn't turn on so he tries again.

"It's dead. I forgot to charge it." She admits, taking the phone from his grasp.

He turns to her with a sharp stare, "You stayed out late after what happened and didn't charge your phone? Are you that fearless?" He chides, frustrated with her lack of awareness and disregard for her safety. If anything ever happened to her he would.... He would.......

"It wasn't on purpose. I didn't realize. I know it was irresponsible."

It's not a response he's expecting, the Hye Jin he knows would argue back, hardly taking shit from him ergo her meek uncharacteristic reply makes him feel worst, he shouldn't be blaming her especially after seeing first-hand how scared she is.

"Let's go inside now, it's cold and you're shaking." They both know the temperature has very little to do with her tremors but she doesn't disagree and carelessly he enters the code when they reach the door, ignoring the jolt in his chest that erupts as he enters his own birthday and the door clicks open. He thought she would have changed it by now.

He's grateful she hasn't.

They both take off their shoes, standing side by side now her arm around his waist and his around her shoulder. It's a small space and they can barely move but they work around it, reluctant to release each other.

"Thank you." Her voice is barely above a whisper, he thinks that he almost imagined it. He had an excuse prepared this time, he was merely patrolling and happened to pass her house. That was the lie he intended to go with, but something in her voice stops him from saying those deceitful words. He's tired of hiding and making up excuses for being around her.

"You're welcome. Here sit down, I'll make you some tea." Thoughtlessly he moves towards the kitchen, taking two steps until he can't move anymore. She's holding onto him tightly, he turns around looking at her small closed fists and then her trembling pretty face.

With a soft sigh, he takes her hand rubbing a thumb across the smooth skin.

"Just come with me." Immediately she steps forward pressing into his back, he tries to calm his heart taking the teapot and filling it with water, then he opens the cabinet retrieving a mug and setting it aside.

"I like honey. And a squeeze of lemon." He smiles at her soft demands.

Now that sounds more like his dentist. The bottle of honey is in her top cabinet and he grabs a fresh lemon from the fridge cutting it in half.

They stand silently as the water boils and he finally feels his anger boiling away as well. Angry that he was almost too late and that his town isn't safe anymore, angry that someone was able to shake this immoveable woman.

The shrill ringing of the teapot breaks him from his impasse, on autopilot he pours the water on the tea bag, then squeezes the honey in the steaming water, "I like a lot of honey." She's attached to his back her voice vibrating straight through him, he freezes when she wraps her arms around his waist. Her closeness is messing with his mind, but he tries to finish his job and get them on the couch maybe with some distance between them.

For his sanity.

"Let's go sit down." He grabs both mugs walking over to her couch, placing her cup on the far right and taking a seat on the far left putting a sea of distance between them. But immediately she sits down right next to him, leaving no space between them she might as well be in his lap. He squirms in place, standing up to get some reprieve but she grabs his hand staring up at him.

"Where are you going?" Fear bleeds into her voice and he lets go of his hesitations, tonight is not about him.

Leaning over he grabs her cup, tugging it closer.

"Nowhere, I'm not going anywhere. Drink your tea."

She blinks slowly at him before nodding and bringing the warm beverage to her lips. Her hum of satisfaction warms him all the way down to his toes.

"It's good. You really are good at everything." He preens at the compliment, thinking of all the times this week he wasn't needed or was cast aside for Director Ji. He's been swallowing his jealousy all week. So her words fill a hollow space in his chest.

He watches her drink the entire cup, ignoring his own growing cold on the table.

"I need to charge my phone." She suddenly says and he stares before nodding, taking the opportunity to drink his lukewarm tea. But then he notices that she's not moving despite having the phone and charging in her hand.

"What's wrong?" He raises an eyebrow in confusion.

She looks embarrassed now, unable to meet his eyes and he's flabbergasted at her reaction.

"Come with me?" He stares at her, feeling the same pride bloom as when she sat next to him instead of her sunbae, she's leaning on him.

He spots an outlet across the room, "Okay let's go there." She looks relieved at his lack of teasing, together they walk over to the outlet and she bends to plug in the charger and puts the phone on the ground.

In seconds the phone comes to life and he feels a sharp pain in his chest as a barrage of messages light up her phone, the majority from one person. When she clicks to open the message he instinctively looks away, not wanting to witness their conversation.

"He messaged so much." Her voice is filled with awe and childishly he moves away. He'd almost forgotten that she didn't actually need him. He was just conveniently there.

"I should go now. You're safe. Make sure to come home earlier from now on, maybe ask him to walk you home." It hurts to utter those words but it's easier than being replaced later, it's okay if he's the one that pushes her away first. "I'll see myself out."

He stands ready to leave, pointedly not looking back before he changes his mind and stays forever.

She was just scared, tonight didn't mean anything.

He grabs his fallen bagpack thrusting it on his shoulder, hopping into his boots all ready to head out. But it's unusually quiet, the silence is so deafening that he can't stop himself from looking back over at her. It's a mistake, a huge one at that. The phone has fallen from her hands, abandoned to the side and she's looking at him with the most desolate stare he's ever seen, moisture pooling in her huge round eyes.

"What's wrong? Why are you cry--"

"You said you wouldn't leave me. Why are you changing your mind? What if someone is still there? What am I supposed to do without yo--u?" Her voice cracks on the last word and his heart follows, she needs him. Nobody else has this week but here she is breaking down because he tried to leave, she needs him.

His decision is made for him in that moment.

As soon as he's close enough to touch she's clinging to him once again, he only absently realizes that she's trying to lead them to her bedroom but even he's not saintly enough for that so he stops her.

"Let's go to the couch. You'll feel more comfortable."

She doesn't question him seemingly happy to follow his lead.

The couch is comfy but definitely not intended for two grown adults, leaning over the arm rest he tries to get situated and once he stops moving she's snuggling into his side curling around him like a cat.

"Whenever I was scared, my mom used to stroke my hair."

He stares at the wall in front of them, wondering if she's aware of just how many lines they're crossing tonight- no catapulting over. But he's tired of second guessing himself so he stops thinking and just listens, bringing the hand that is curled on her shoulder up to her head before dragging his palm down her soft hair, gulping when she moans at the ministrations.

Her breathing starts to deepen and he feels her body losing its tension, she's falling asleep and once she succumbs he can finally make his escape, that's his plan. But he doesn't expect her to start stroking him too, her hand delicate on his chest.

"You've worked hard. Stopping a scammer and saving me all while recovering from a cold."

It's nothing. It's what he's supposed to do.

But it feels so good to hear those words, words that he hardly heard growing up.

"Go to sleep." He says instead of thank you, instead of kissing her like he's wanted to since he saw her outside and she ran straight into his heart.

It's a miracle but she listens to him, drifting to sleep her head heavy on his chest and he knows that he should wait a few minutes and try to extract himself but he can't, not tonight. Just for tonight he'll be selfish.

"You're making me want all sorts of things." He whispers to her sleeping face, terrified of her and all that she makes him feel. Feeling emboldened by their almost kiss initiated by her, he pushes her hair behind her ear taking a second to really looking at her face. She really is that beautiful. It doesn't seem fair. Leaning down he presses a soft kiss to her forehead, her skin is sleep warm and perfectly smooth. He presses a second one shamelessly. Her lips are right there and heavens knows that he's tempted but he can't take advantage, can't bring himself to do anything else. That's enough.

He doesn't know when he fell asleep but he wakes up to Mi-seon throwing a blanket over them, he keeps his eyes tightly shut mentally berating himself for that leaving when he had a chance.

"Just friends my ass. Just admit that you like him, look at the way you're clinging to him."

Somehow they traversed further down the couch in their sleep, both laying horizontal now with her body on top on his and her head tucked under his chin.

"I've never seen her sleep so peacefully though. She looks so young."

He tries not to think too deeply into what that might mean, listening to the retreating footsteps of her roommate and feeling himself losing the battle with sleep. She'll probably be embarrassed to find them this way tomorrow but that's a hurdle for another day.

Just for tonight I'll hold her. Until I'm not allowed to hold her anymore.

[nevertheless-moving]

Ohhh I love this idea. Songbird!

My first thought is pop star wars au (a lot of imagine dragons is automatic pop star wars au for me)

My SECOND thought is sith!Obi-Wan au. Which is difficult, because not falling is such an integral part of his character to me, and I need all my aus to have happy endings, but here goes:

Obi-Wan has been living on Tatooine for 10 years. It's a hard planet.

It’s been a very long ten years.

Luke dies at age ten.

...

It's a hard planet.

...

Ben doesn't fall, but he doesn't...it's hard for him to remember why he wants to stay in the light. What the point is. Of anything.

He starts chasing down legends. Old stories of fantastic deals—ways to change things, in the worst case scenario—warnings really.

(Darth Vader is doing the same, but, well. One of them was always better at research)

He finds a temple; it rejects him, of course. It's for the deep mysteries. The stones themselves are carved for dark siders, not those who wade in the shallows of the force.

All he has to lose is himself, and really, what's one more thing?

By the time he gets to the bleeding crystal heart of the labyrinth, there's not exactly a mirror to check his eye color.

Or light.

It's almost too easy—all he wanted was to go back. The temple is almost...bemused. All of those sleepless challenges, all that bloody torture, and he just wants a simple manipulation of himself through time?

That's all?

Obi-Wan steps outside a year after he went in, or roughly thirty-three years before, depending on your point of view.

A man appears before Shmi, scarcely a week after she gave birth. He's sun-weathered and battle-scarred, but his face would be handsome if it were a little less skeletal. His eyes glow brilliant gold in the dark of her hut and for a moment she is terribly, terribly afraid—certain that this dark angel is here to kill her child. Instead he steals him, and her. She sleeps heavily—too heavily—on the flight and wakes up on a strange metal world.

The man speaks. His voice is soft and his words are terrible and she can feel the truth in them.

"The boy must stay. You cannot go with him."

Kindly old monks assure her that her son would grow up in peace, inside walls that echoed with safety and warmth and light and all manner of strange and lovely things. She understands why she must leave. This is not a place for her. The stranger is waiting at his ship, which she only now realizes was stolen from Jabba's fleet. He looks as hollowed out as she feels.

"What now?" she asks helplessly.

There's a long pause. He sighs heavily, looking up at the non-existent stars.

"There's a few men I have to kill, but at least one of them is deep in the shadows—I suspect I'll have to do something dramatic to draw him out. Once I finish with all that, a Jedi will probably kill me...hopefully it's someone ironic, I could use a laugh. Is there anything you would like to do, Shmi Skywalker? I rather suspect you and I might have some common interests, but I'm not in a very creative mood right now."

"...I want to kill Grakkus."

"Oh! That sounds like fun."

"Fun?"

"Sure. I've been wanting to tear down an Empire for some time now."

"...Who are you?"

"Call me...Neimand. Darth Neimand, if you're feeling formal."

This AU has a happy ending. The Hutt empire collapses, and is replaced with a much more aimless affair. Emperor Neimand's reign is brutal, but mostly just on slavers—generally he encourages self-government, too bored by the day to day, though he can be randomly very choosy about certain things. All claimants to the line of Bane wiped are out—first Sidious's puppets, then Sidious, then Plagueis.

Neimand is at loose ends. He was rather expecting a Jedi to come after him by this point, but he didn't really want to attack them.

Well. Most of them.

Dooku's death was noble enough to be considered an accident, if Neimand hadn't made a few sly boasts in a few choice ears.

Krell's body—Krell's body is returned to the temple in pieces, rather publicly. The last thing he needed, after all this work, was for people to think the Jedi were attacking an Emperor without provocation.

He is very amused by who they send—little jokes that only he gets are his main source of pleasure these days. Well that, and killing slavers. And orgies. In any case, the look on Master Jinn's face! And Senior Padawan—sorry Knight Kenobi, knighted earlier than he expected—'hm? oh, let's just say I have a personal interest in your career'. The resemblance isn't uncanny, but it is remarkable. (Emperors have access to very good skincare, and Tatooine healers specialize in sundamage).

He's less amused when the two have to return with their tails between their legs. "Train harder!" he yells, as Obi-Wan Kenobi drags his unconscious Master away. "I'm more than happy to be killed by a Jedi but I'm not just going to throw the fight!"

This AU has a happy ending. It takes a number of years, but one day, side by side, Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker defeat the last of the Sith, bringing balance to the force. They are hailed as heroes, and the orderly collapse of the Neimand Empire into the Democratic Council of the Outer Rim ushers in a golden age of peace for the galaxy.

(Luke and Leia aren't born again, but, nevertheless, Darth Neimand dies with a smile on his face)

[songbirdsingingthings]

Polka-dotted Bandages

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of these characters, they belong to Kohei Horikoshi

MHA Masterlist - Main Masterlist

WARNINGS: Mentions of injury, the tiniest bit of angst, and fluff galore <3

Requested by @luluwiie​ :

"There is no limit in the number of requests", you said? Welllll... then can I request ? 😳❤ if the answer is yes: can I request a slow burn / pining Todoroki x Reader Oneshot ? 😶👉👈 Like, when they train together, Reader got into the habit of always taking care of his scratches and wounds, which at first confused Todoroki, cause Recovery girl is there for this, right ? But with time he got used and even grew attached to this little habit of ours. And one day, for some reason, Reader ends up badly injured (in a fight, against vilains? Idk), and he rushes to the hospital and is like sooo worried.. and when Reader wakes up they find like some band-aids on their little scratches, just like the ones they often use for him ? And we get to see their reunion Ajajdusdj TYSM if you do it 😳❤

A/N: I LITERALLY FELL IN LOVE WITH THIS REQUEST.... which is why I had to rewrite it like twenty times before I was finally satisfied with how it turned out lol. I really hope you enjoy and thank you so much for the request! <3

Word Count: 2.2K

Ever since the age of five when his quirk made itself known to him, the world, and most unfortunately his father, little nicks and cuts were always a common thing to find all over his body. To this day, however careful Shouto was in training, they were ordinary occurrences. It wasn’t like he was careless, far from it in fact, he just got a little… distracted sometimes. How could he not when you were training right across from him? Your skill and poise were originally the traits that drew him in to hoping for a friendship with you. Those paired with your optimistic personality and effortless smile captured his attention completely. So, when he accidentally grazed his leg against a piece of metal that was jutting out haphazardly, he was unprepared for your attention to be on him.

“Shouto, are you okay? That looks like it really hurts,” you huff, out of breath from the last set of crunches you had just completed. The red-and-white haired boy looked in between you and his now bleeding cut with a somewhat blank stare.

“Oh… yes I think I’m fine,” He answered awkwardly, assessing the wound and slowly moving his hand to cover it. That is, until your hand caught his wrist.

“Wait, your hands aren’t clean!” You exclaim as you dig through your bag with the hand that wasn’t currently occupied. “Here, I have some disinfectant in my bag.” Shouto watches as you pull the little bottle of antiseptic out of your bag as well as some cotton balls and a little box of bandages. You douse one of the cotton balls with some disinfectant, accidentally spilling a little on your hands in the process, and hold it right in front of his cut. “Do you mind?” You ask, making sure Shouto was okay with your movements.

“No, go ahead,” He manages, keeping his composure but feeling his heart skip a bit. You flash him a grin before placing one of your hands on his leg to steady yourself.

“This might sting a bit, but it goes away pretty quickly,” you explain, slowly pressing the cotton ball to his wound. You made sure to clean the dirt and grime away quickly, your gentle and dexterous fingers going around the edges of the cut.

“Y/N?” Shouto’s voice was somewhat jarring in the comfortable silence you two had, causing your gaze to snap up to his.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” You asked hurriedly, your eyes filled with concern. He shook his head, allowing you a breath of relief before turning your attention back on his wound.

“I’m just curious as to why you are doing this, since we have Recovery Girl on call all day. I’m sure it would be no issue for her,” He asked as you disposed of the now slightly bloody cotton ball and digged around in the box to pull out a blue and white polka-dotted bandage.

“Well I didn’t want you to accidentally infect it,” you begin, smoothing the bandage across the cut, “plus, it's nice to do things like this for a friend, don’t you think?” You smile, satisfied that the coverage of the polka dots fit perfectly over the damaged skin. Your eyes finally go back up to Shouto, whose hand was held out to you. You take it as he helps you stand from your crouched position on the floor. Shouto smiled at the little notion and fell into a comfortable pace with you as the both of you walked back towards the direction of the dorms. Over time, Shouto began to like the little habit the two of you developed - he liked it quite a lot. Not ever had he been touched in such a caring and tender manner, and when it was coming from you… it was pure solace that he felt. And, gradually, as the two of you fell into a comfortable friendship - with more than a few lingering glances on his part - he felt that finally he was at a time in his life where he found someone that could understand him completely. 

Buildings were leveled, the streets had craters in them, and your breathing was uneven. Of course, when Class 1A was on a day trip into the city, villains had decided to take action. The day was going too perfectly, you guessed. It really only was once in a while that the teachers would let you have a long day off to go shopping or enjoy the city life. Due to this incident, though, you’re pretty sure that they’ll be revoking those privileges as soon as the class steps their feet back on UA property. If you were lucky, maybe you wouldn’t be confined in the big dorm building for a week due to safety concerns.

“H/N, you take the guy on the left, I’ll take the annoying one in the middle!” You heard your classmate, Mina, shout to you. The pink-haired girl was currently fighting off a criminal with a nasty quirk - blood manipulation, as long as they were in some physical pain themself. That was probably why the guy was intentionally biting down on his tongue.

“You’ve got it!” You yell back, launching yourself into the fray and readying your quirk to attack. With the villain set straight on in front of you, you let your eyes zero in on them, everything besides them becoming a blur. That was why, when the enemy that was fighting Mina set their sights on you, you were unable to react quick enough.

Shouto was, more or less, beginning to panic. Everyone was accounted for… everyone except for you. That’s when he caught sight of a familiar pink-haired girl crouching down with tears leaking from her eyes.

“Ashido, have you seen Y/N?” He asked exasperatedly, beginning to grow frustrated with the lack of information involving the Y/H/C haired girl. This only caused Mina to sob more, her pitiful gaze finally looking up into Shouto’s.

“Th-they hit me with their quirk and it made the wind get knocked out of me,” she hiccuped, wiping underneath her eyes to try and rid the moisture from her cheeks. “They hurt Y/N really, really badly.” As soon as those words left her lips, Shouto felt his entire body grow cold. It wasn’t like the cold he used to regulate his body temperature when he used too much of his left side. This was a chill that encompassed his body as a whole, making him feel hollow. As Mina’s words grew more jumbled, Shouto felt his breathing go shallow and his hands beginning to tremble.

“Where,” He asked forcefully.

“Musutafu General Hospital.” 

And with those three words, Shouto began running, and didn’t stop until he was at the massive glass doors of the lobby. He walked swiftly to the help desk and slammed his hands on the top of it, a little harder than he intended.

“Y/N L/N, she’s a member of Class 1A at UA, and she was taken to this hospital due to events that occurred downtown. Where is she.” The receptionist looked up to find an angered Shoto, his eyes blazing and narrowed.

“I-I’m sorry?” They asked, a little terrified of him.

“Y/N L/N, she is a patient here. WHERE IS SHE?” He demanded. The receptionist jumped in their seat and began to vigorously click on their computer, searching through patient charts.

“She’s, uh, on floor four, just got out of emergency surgery and is recovering. Room 107.” He didn’t stay to hear anything else they had to say as he sprinted to the staircase, ascending the stairs in record speed. When he arrived on the correct floor, a sudden feeling of misery descended upon him. Sitting in a little seating area, he saw as surgeons - still clad in their scrubs - were hugging a family of four, all of them sobbing in despair. This stirred him to now stumble down the hallways wildly, frantically checking the room numbers on both sides until he found the three numbers he was looking for. 107. Slowly, he pushed the door open to find you laying down on a hospital bed. 

When your eyes finally fluttered open, the first thing you felt was the whole body ache that held onto your body like a vice. I’m never complaining about stomach or calf cramps again, you think, squinting to try and see anything in the harsh hospital room lighting. You groaned as you sat up, feeling the pang of pain in the small of your back. You smiled, though, when you saw all the things dotted all over your room. Vases of flowers were placed on the tables, from your vantage point you could spot the familiar petals of peonies - the flowers that symbolize life and good health. On the table next to you, lots of cards were propped up. Some had cheesy “get well soon!” messages scrawled across the front, others a bit more demure. And, as you reached to grab and read one, that’s when you saw them. The familiar pattern of blue and white polka dots left you breathless as you stopped your previous movements and began to inspect them further. These were exactly like the ones that were always in your bag, the ones that are so specifically designed that only one store sells them. You were sure that the hospital you were staying in didn’t make an effort to buy pretty looking bandages for their patients and nobody else knew where to find them in your bag. Nobody else except...

“Shouto…” you breathed, your eyes welling with tears.

“Y/N?” Standing in the door frame stood the exact boy whose name was just uttered from your lips. Dressed in a soft, black turtleneck - the one you always found so flattering on him - and a pair of beige pants. In his hand held the most beautiful red carnations you had ever seen, the petals so dainty and the stems so thin you feared they would break if he even moved them. 

“Here, put them in this vase next to-” your speech was interrupted as Shouto let the bouquet fall to the tiled floor, his body moving on autopilot to encase you in his arms, his head wedging itself between your neck and head.

“You’re okay.” He mumbles.

“I’m okay.”

“You’re safe.”

“I’m safe.” Shouto lingers there for a moment before pulling himself back into a standing position, helping you reposition your body on the bed, trying to get more comfortable. The two of you stay in silence for a moment before you speak up.

“Thank you for patching me up,” you say simply, your voice soft as you tilt your head towards the polka-dotted bandages. You see Shouto’s lips quirk up a bit.

“You’re always taking care of me, so I wanted to take care of you. Even if the hospital staff had to do the heavy lifting.” He says, sitting down in the chair next to your bed, pulling it closer so that the two of you were as close as possible. Your hand immediately finds his, grabbing hold of it. 

“Shouto, I-”

“Y/N, when I’m around you, I feel the skin on my face grow hot.” His statement caught you off guard. “My stomach turns, too, when you smile at me and look at me in the eye.” You suck in a breath, hoping that what he was trying to say was the same thing you had been feeling for ages. Shouto takes a deep breath before squeezing your hand. “At first I thought I was sick and caught something, due to the increase in temperature, but I realized that I only began to feel this way when you first put a blue polka-dotted bandage on my leg. And then that feeling only came around when you were near.” Finally looking up to meet your eyes, Shouto gazes at you with such care and affection you felt that you could melt. “I think… I think I love you.” Your shocked face soon softens into one of adoration and a grin spreads across your cheeks.

“I love you too.” You see Shouto breathe in relief before taking the hand he was holding and pressing a soft kiss to the back of yours. Your heart flutters at his gesture, encouraging you all the more to pull him towards you so that he could lay on the bed. Quickly, the both of you found comfort as he held you, letting his fingers trace lightly around the polka-dotted bandages. “Will you let me keep on taking care of you? Whenever you get scrapes or bruises… or if something makes you happy or sad or feel anything at all?” You murmured, letting your head fall against his chest. You feel him nodding his head.

“Only if I can take care of you, too.” You smiled, glancing back at the blue and white polka dots to see Shouto’s thumb brushing against it.

“Okay, deal.”