#【♥】 𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒆 𝟎𝟐 ; i can finally say that i love you (canon au)

[lielove]

“No, you’re not real… things like you aren’t real…”

ghostly muses sentence starters.

to be fair, it's a lot for her to process as well. after she died she. . . she wasn't sure if she'd ever get the chance to interact with her children again. she had no idea what would happen after death, and she certainly hadn't expected to find herself as a ghost - stuck here like a lost spirit. . .

. . . the last thing in the world that she ever would have expected was to have her son to be able to see her.

it really did feel unbelievable.

❝ it. . . it feels like something out of a movie. don't you think, aqua-kun ?? ❞

her words could reach him. . . she could reach him. she may still be an apparition, but they could still speak to one another. . . and that was enough for her.

it really was enough.

❝ but it's real !! it's really real, eheh !! ❞

[lielove]

a part of her worries that this will all be in vain - that no matter what she tells herself the same outcome will always happen. maybe it was inevitable . . .

. . . but even so, she wants to try.

for this ai hoshino and her future children. so that she can keep hold of happiness that she wasn't able to have.

❝ the day you're set to perform at the dome . . . don't open the door under any circumstances . . . ❞ the easiest and most obvious thing comes to mind first. . .

she doesn't know what to say, not at all ............ she balls up her fists and sighs, lowering her gaze. okay. she's talking to herself. she must be delusional. but deep down, somehow, she detects sincerity in the apparition's pleas. she takes a moment to collect herself. " fine. what do i need to do ? "

[lielove]

“What kind of… ghostly abilities do you have?” ouo

ghostly muses sentence starters.

❝ oh, you know . . . ❞ a laugh and a wave of the hand is given as she starts to speak, floating in midair as if she was laying on a hammock.

❝ a lot of the ones that you see in the movies. . . it's strange how accurate they turned out being !! ❞ she continues on, ❝ floating, walking through walls, messing with electronics. . . ❞ all standard stuff that you'd see in horror movies, right . . . ??

❝ i can't posses people or objects, though. not yet at least !! ❞ she says it as if she may figure out how to do it some day. . .

❝ . . . could you imagine ?? me walking around in a doll that looks just like myself. eheh, that'd be pretty crazy right ?? ❞ she's sure there's merch of her in a doll line around somewhere . . .

[lielove]

@deisterre || sc.

once the idol had begun to age out of the industry, she took more of an interest in acting. it was what made sense to her - she'd already began to make a name for herself . . . may as well continue with what she'd started, right ??

this time it was a coming of age movie, where a newly single mother and her daughter set off to explore the world, heal past wounds and learn that they're happy enough on their own. the actress set to play her daughter being none other than kana arima.

❝ . . . gosh, it's been years since we worked on the same set, hasn't it !! i remember when you were little, ehe~ ❞

that movie. . . it was something ai didn't think she'd ever be able to forget. . .

❝ i'm looking forward to working with you, kana-chan !! ❞

[lielove]

"... Hey, Ai," it was four or so years after the twins were born (and the odd disappearance of a doctor), a few weeks after the dome concert when Hikaru decided to ask something when they were watching TV together after the kids had (seemingly) gone to sleep. Nothing special, hell, he was barely paying attention to what was on TV right now.

Still, there had been something he had been thinking of for a while.

"You can't be an Idol forever. You're already reaching the age most retire, but you can probably make it to your late 20s or early 30s," he commented. "But eventually you won't be, so I was thinking..."

"When you can't be an Idol anymore, it's your call, but I was thinking: let's get married."

It was... blunt. Simple. To the point. No special occasion, but he did turn around to face her.

"Be my wife. And let me be your husband. What do you say?"

❝ what is it ?? ❞ head tilts to look in his direction as he calls her name, ever curious look in her eyes. ai doesn't bother to pause the TV, as she, too had barely been paying attention to what was on the screen. it was background noise, more than anything else. brows furrow, and a pout is quick to form on her lips as he tells her she can't be an idol forever, and she's ready to shoot down his words… …but, ai decides to let him finish before she does so. she wants to know just what it is that he was thinking about - what had been on his mind that it led him to think that far into the future. she hadn't expected it to be a marriage proposal, of all things. in interviews she would always say that she didn't plan on getting married as it was a quick way to get interviewers to switch the topic. the thought of getting married for real wasn't one that had really crossed her mind.

❝ with a face like mine, i was banking on mid-thirties !! ❞ she laughs at her own words. ❝ just kidding, of course !! ❞ well, she was partially kidding at least. by time she was in her thirties ruby and aqua would be teenagers, and she'd want to ensure that she could spend time with them in public as their mother by that age. ( well, probably at least. ) and it'd be nice to spend time with hikaru without having to be so secretive about it, too. not to mention being able to do things together as a family… yes, a time would certainly come where she wouldn't be able to work as an idol anymore. she wasn't sure what she'd be doing at that point, but the thought of having hikaru by her side as her husband when that time comes brings a smile to her face. in fact, ai hoshino was practically giddy with glee at the thought of it all.

❝ i'll be your wife, hikaru !! ❞ finally, she gives him her answer.

❝ there's just onnnne thing !! ❞

she brings her hands together, careful to keep her excitement contained so she didn't wake up the twins. ❝ ai kamiki… or hikaru hoshino ?? both have a nice ring to it, don't you think ?! ❞

[lielove]

❝ it's me. . . aqua-kun. ❞

she almost couldn't believe this for herself . . . !! ai never thought that she'd have the chance to see - let alone speak - with her son again . . . and yet here she was, given the chance despite everything . . . the woman wished that she could hug him, hold him tightly in her arms as she saw the tears roll down his cheeks. . .

. . . seeing him like that, it's only natural that tears would well up in her eyes, too, huh ??

❝ i've missed you !! ❞

This couldn't be real. Ghosts don't exist. Yet, here she was. Acting nonchalantly about the situation. Typical Ai. He was thankful that no one was around when a wave of emotion overcame him. Tears began to roll down his cheeks. This was real.

"It really is you."

@lielove

[lielove]

❛ i hope to repay your kindness someday. ❜ from akane c:

200 random dialogue prompts.

❝ seeing you become a talented actress is the only thing i need !! ❞

though ai was the type of woman to lie through her teeth with ease, this time she was being honest. being something akin to a mentor to the starlet, seeing her succeed was all that she could really ask for.

( to think... that someone like her could be a mentor for someone else... what a thought !! )

being able to unlock ones true potential... that is what lala lai did for her, to see it still doing the same for so many others... it had her feeling somewhat nostalgic.

...really, it was moments like this that made here feel all the more confident in her choice to focus on acting once she aged out of being an idol.

❝ i mean it !! you don't need to do anything else for me, akane-chan !! ❞ to see her shine brightly on the center stage... yes. that was more than enough.

[lielove]

“We make damn beautiful babies, don’t we?” how could i NOT

stages of relationship starters

a part of her worried he didn't really want to go along with this, she would have gone on to be a mother with or without him, but...

...there's a comfort in knowing that she won't be doing this alone.

it wasn't until that moment, when he spoke of the twins with such enthusiasm that she realized -- oh, he's going to be here for the long haul with me, isn't he ??

❝ of course our kids would be beautiful, they're our kids !! ❞

voice is low and slightly pained - given the hours she spent pushing them out, it made sense - but still ai hoshino laughed a bright and sunny laugh. the pain was worth it, it was worth it to see those kids faces once they were finally born. she held them both so gently...

❝ c'mere... come hold one of them, too. ❞

maybe the nurse would take a picture of them, if he wanted. it'd be taken on the secret phone she kept away from everyone else... just to look at when she needed.

❝ oh -- and i was thinking about something. ❞ adds after a moment of quiet. ❝ once my apartment lease runs out... would you want to get a condo together ?? ❞ they could raise the kids together in a large space... something like that would be nice. if he was up for it, ai would even consider buying out her current lease so they could do it sooner...

[lielove]

"So what's it like? Being dead?" so asked the man responsible for it.

i know this was from a meme but i don't remember which one !!

a moment like this was almost laughable. coming face to face with the very man that was responsible for taking her life. . . and yet she felt no resentment towards him in her heart for it !!

things could have been different. maybe if she had the courage to be a bit more honest with him, maybe if she hadn't tried shouldering all the burden all by herself. . .

. . . things could have been different, and they could have been happy as a family.

but instead. . .

all she could do was talk to him as a ghost. a dead woman and a living man.

ai wanted to be mad, she wanted to say she hated him with every fiber in her being for all that he had done, for being the proverbial knife in her back ( or should she say stomach. )

but that, too, would be a lie.

so instead she smiles, and even gives a bit of a laugh.

❝ it's not all bad, it's a little fun. . . getting to float around and haunt people. ❞

if only she knew the meaning to those words.

though she lived on as a ghost, her memory haunted the very lives of those around her.

. . . it wasn't a very pleasant thought. she wished that she could tell them that everything would be okay, that it's okay to move on. tell them a yes, i died, but i still want you to live happily. . .

but the only person that could see her was him.

. . . and she understood that he couldn't do such things.

❝ were you expecting me to curse you ?? tell you i hate you and to go and die . . . ?? ❞ a brow raises as she asks her query, floating in a circle around him.

❝ because i don't. . . and i won't be doing that. ❞ another giggle.

if anything, she lamented that she wasn't able to set things straight before she died.

❝ i didn't realize it until it was too late. . . but. . . ❞

. . . even as a ghost she can still get somewhat bashful, huh ??

❝ i really did like you. i always had, i'd even say that i loved you, and that's the honest truth. ❞

the words are said as eyes flutter shut, a sigh of relief she she's finally able to say that word to him. maybe it was a little messed up to say, maybe it's because she's always had some skewed emotions. . . or maybe it's just because she's not had much else to do other than think of her regrets and what could have been. . .

❝ i wish i could have told you sooner, but i was scared. . . and now that i can, there's nothing that can be done about it !! ❞

it was some bitter irony, wasn't it ??

maybe she shouldn't have said it in the first place. she knew his feelings for her, and would being told something like this now break him down . . . ??

or . . . the punishment of knowing that the one he loved truly did love her back, despite everything would be a hard enough hell for him to live in ?? knowing that the mistake he mad had cost everything . . .

even now, after being dead for so long, it was kinda hard to tell !!

[lielove]

❝ you could practice with your phone... ooooor -- i'm sure miyako-san would let you borrow a proper camera if you wanted to practice with that, too !! it'd be a lot closer to the real thing. ❞

give a small wink with her words, followed by a nod of the head.

much as ai wished that she could have been there for her children in person ( or rather, in a tangible form ) she was grateful to miyako for everything that she's done for them...

...and for her too, really.

as grateful as she is to her, ai's glad that she was still able to act as a mother to at least one of her children. it was all she ever wanted... and to be able to do that, even in such a state was still a dream.

she, too, fears a time may come when ruby won't be able to see her anymore... but there's a small sense of solace to be had in the precious years that they were given. even if ruby couldn't see her anymore, ai would always be watching over her.

her daughter calls out to her, she can recognize the look on her face. she tries to offer her a reassuring smile, as if to say it's alright if you're going to cry. ai had always hid her own true feelings, and she didn't want ruby to do the same.

❝ i-- mama's so proud of you, ruby-chan. ❞ she was who she was because of her... those are the types of words that mean the most to her.

the sound of an alarm rings, taking away from the moment they had...

❝ your costumes will look amazing !! ❞ she can't wait to see them, truly. the first costume for the new b-komachi's first music video... it may seem like just a costume to some, but for an idol it was of utmost importance. it'd set the record for all that was to come next...

but ruby and the other two... they could pull it off, ai was sure of it.

❝ we don't want to be late, let's get going !! ❞

Ruby knew she shouldn't be greedy. And she wasn’t. She knew how lucky she was, it was a one-of-a-kind miracle that she was able to see her Mama as a ghost, certainly, her brother couldn’t. She should be grateful. She was. Every day.

But she still wished she could touch her. Hug her. Hide in her warm.

Most of the time, she didn’t think about it. She just was happy that she could see her. But sometimes she couldn’t stop herself from wanting more.

“Clean it on the last verse! Got it!” Ruby took her pen and wrote the advice in her notebook “And focus on the camera! Maybe I should practice that, the video needs to be perfect! Like yours!”

Ruby began to quickly turn the pages of her notebook; all the advice Mama had given her throughout her life. Not just about performing as an idol, but about life itself. Which was the best way to deal with a conflict. What to do if she forgot something at home. Even dating advice (thou she still hadn’t put those to practice). Everything.

It was a weird hobby, but she needed to do so. As a kid, she feared that one day she woke up and she couldn’t see Ai anymore. Sometimes, she still feared it. But she figured if that happened, she would at least still have her words written down.

But Ai still was there. It was the first thing Ruby saw when waking up and the last before falling asleep. Always. And she wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Mama…” she felt a lump in her throat, hearing how prideful Ai was of her. She felt the tears in her eyes.

It was the easiest way to make her cry. Ai praising her. She did it constantly, but every time it was more impactful than the other. There was something powerful in hearing it, but bittersweet also, because it was in moments like those that she wanted to hug her mother more than anything, and knew she couldn’t. Her arms wanted so desperately to reach her, but she forced them to not move, knowing how painful it was to try to touch her and not be able to.

She closed her eyes, swallowing. Smile, smile, smile, no tears.

“I am such a good idol because I had someone even more amazing to look up to and to teach me,” she said, stopping the tears and smiling as brightly as she could “I am who I am because of you”

At that moment, an alarm sounded on her phone. Ruby cursed internally, she had forgotten about the clothes.

“We have to go to the seamstress; she will give us the new clothes for the video today!” Ruby turned off the alarm, looking at Ai. She knew that they would go together, they always did “This time I know how to go!”

[lielove]

lyric based starter call || @ubiquitousidol

the lala lai theater troupe… ah, it had been some time since she'd visited it. memories of her days were quick to come back to her - there were some faces that the idol remembered, others that were completely new to her. she'd seen a few talked about before, others on tv, but there was one in particular… the girl that was on lovenow -- with aqua. it was hard to forget everything that happened, how the industry treated her. but she wasn't here to talk about that, not here - not now. hoshino ai may be a celebrity, but she can't just ask a stranger whatever she wants because she wants to, now can she ?? she was here because of work. signed onto a production with that girl as one of her coworkers.

❝ kurokawa-san, right ?? i've heard a lot about you. ❞ the idol approaches the other with a smile and a wave. ❝ i might be a little rusty, it's been a while since i've taken the stage, eheh -- ❞ laughs in an attempt to sound humble ❝ you know what they say, though… if you hesitate, the getting is gone. ❞ a pause, ❝ let's make something great, yeah ?? ❞

song ; eat your young - hozier

[lielove]

@revengeact || starter call.

ENTER, STAGE LEFT. the idol steps from the curtain onto the makeshift stage - a single spotlight shining overhead, looking outward she sees a sea of nothingness. of course - she thinks to herself - i'm dead so this is to be expected.

a single face is seen within the void, lights flicker to show an empty concert hall - one similar to the small place miyako took aqua and ruby to see her perform at when they were babies - it is only then that a face is seen within the crowd. years have past, and he looks much older now... but she can tell that it's him ; her son, aquamarine.

goodness, he's the spitting image of his father. the thought flickers through her mind the moment she sees his face. it is in that moment that she realizes what she's experiencing isn't a sort of purgatory - it's a dream.

a spirit communicating to her child in a dream. yes, she supposes that she's heard of such instances before in books and tabloids - but she never thought them to be true.

❝ that's you isn't it, aqua ?? ❞ she calls out to the him, though she knows it to be true in her heart. if this is a dream she wonders how long it will last, would he even remember the moments they shared together in the morning ?? or would it simply fade away once morning came.

[lielove]

tags !!

[lielove]

❝ miyako-san is... quite the character, that's for sure. ❞

ai couldn't put her finger on it, but it seemed like miyako had something she was hiding... not that ai would ever ask about it. what that woman did was her own business, she certainly had no reason to care as long as it wasn't directly harming her way of life...

ichigo wanted her to look more like the "stereotypical idol" - which made sense, all things considered. an idol should look like an idol... not like a street rat.

until meeting hikaru she always had the mindset of "i'll dress up like an idol when i have to, but i'll dress for comfort outside of that" but something about him... the way he looked at her.

ai couldn't explain it. she wanted to dress nice for him, she wanted him to see her in a good light.

eyes shift away from her twin to the drink in hand, giving a nonchalant sip of it as she asks if it was something or someone. few things could get past that twin sister of hers...

❝ eheh, well... ❞

for a moment ai considers telling aiko about hikaru...

...but, she instead takes the opportunity to change the subject back to her sister.

❝ i'm sure something will come soon, aiko !! ❞

words are accompanied with a comforting smile. yeah, she'd have to hit her big break eventually --

Well..

"Well, usually.. You could of really cared less what that manager of yours usually said until now. You know how he usually was.. Well.. bitchy, to be honest with you. Doesn't help his girlfriend rubs me the wrong way.."

But to be fair, Miyako was misguided. Ichigo meanwhile usually complained about..

Better how you look, do this, do that- Ai was a little rebel like that compared to the other idols. She didn't care much until recently..

And god knows Hikaru's attitude changed up a bit himself.

It was nice.. hopefully a good thing for Ai to endure. Hopefully..

"But hmm.. You sure its something, or someone that motivated you?..."

She arches a brow, before cracking a playful smile, waving her hand a bit.

"And trust me, when something comes up on my field, you'd be the first to know! Still, I'm just kidding about the someone bit.."

After all, idol culture was so strange in that regard. One wrong word or rumor and well..

Things could get hairy. After all, B-Komachi was a prime example of a Rising Star idol group- and Ai was the center of it all.

Aiko couldn't help but feel proud of Ai!

[lielove]

ah, there was a time where she felt like that -- once. while she wouldn't have called it love in her case, her feelings for another were overflowing, too. not that she was ever heartbroken before, a part of her felt like she could emphasize, to an extent at least.

...and besides, she couldn't just leave her hanging, now could she ??

after all, as an adult she was supposed to set a good example for the younger generation, right ??

❝ hmm... ❞ presses a finger to her lips in thought, carefully thinking of the words of advice to give to the heartbroken girl. ❝ when i feel like that, i try to focus my attention into my work !! all that anger, frustration and sadness... i turn it into my motivation for putting on a good show. ❞ gives a small nod of the head as she speaks.

❝ mm, you could also try talking about it to someone you trust, or writing your feelings in a journal. just as a way to get it off your chest... ❞

not that that was something she had ever actually done, most of the time she kept those feelings inside to deal with alone - as the picture perfect idol she wasn't allowed to show any signs of weakness.

but that's not something she can tell akane.

@lielove sent akane ♫ for a favorite lyric as a starter ! | &TEAM - バズ恋 (BUZZ LOVE)

❝ i tried to suppress it but it's overflowing, so what should I do now? ❞ it's a little embarrassing to admit her feelings, especially in front of his mom. but hoshino-san was a great listener and she always found herself saying more than intended. ❝ what would you do in this situation ? ❞

[lielove]

❝ well nothing happened here in particular but -- ❞

head tilts as hands are folded behind her back, as a mentor it was her job to look out for the other... but she would have at least expected lala lai to tell her the dangers of going out by herself as an up an coming celebrity !!

❝ as celebrities, we don't really have the luxury of just being able to go wherever we want whenever !! ❞

plays her words off with a smile and a wink as she adjusts her own disguise, while the concern she holds for the other is there...

...it's not something she can easily show.

after the incident with that stalker, she'd grown even more wary of people than she already was. the thought of something like that happening to the person she was looking out for...

well. she couldn't have that happening.

❝ so, if there was anywhere else you were wanting to go, i'll come with ya' !! there's a really good burger place not far from here, actually -- ❞

@lielove asked: ❛ you shouldn’t be out here by yourself. ❜  ( for akane ! )

Oh-!

She hadn't expected to meet her mentor all the way out here, what a coincidence! Akane smiles bright and wide at the sound of her voice and whips around.

"Ai-sama, hello!"

She only came out here to grab a snack for herself since at home had nothing she was craving. Curiosity dampers her smile a little as her head tilts with it. She holds up an unopened cream puff package.

"Ehh, how come? Did something happen out here lately? I've been so busy I haven't seen the news."