#【 ᴘʜᴀᴇᴛᴏɴ − aut viam inveniam aut faciam 】

[hiendrae]

Dear person I hate

                             【 D E D I C A T E D   T O   @svvyn  】

                              tw: psychological and emotional abuse

dear person i loathe, 

it’s quite unfortunate to be regarded as far too mediocre and despicable to be addressed this letter, huh? i believe that the time, ink and paper disused into conveying words that have been reverberated through the cold surface of ivory walls in a loud cacophony of screams and cries, constantly enough to scar relatives and neighbors alike into thinking such events would configure in an everlasting cycle, would have been counterproductive. i have no obligation to you and i surely do not feel the need to nourish the unfathomable extent of your narcissism, therefore, i will address this letter to another breed of crass individual – while also brazenly hoping anyone whose heart cower underneath their ribs as if it was an osseous fortress can be comforted with the knowledge that the inferno raging underneath the crimson steam in their veins and the pain that echoed through ever extremity of their body are communal and understood. 

being inquired about my parents have always denoted in a poorly concealed hesitation or a bitter outrage in my intonation whenever the response escapes the plump of my lips; i don’t have parents. those four words, pronounced with the astringency of venom, has always ignited the curiosity and the horror in the people who does not possess enough of common sense to refrain themselves from demanding further details. i acknowledge the fact that i am a public figure, and therefore, any information that could transfigured itself into additional digits to one’s bank account is worth the disregard for the threshold of privacy and solidarity, and i also acknowledge the fact that i am the oddity, the great majority of the population have present, affectionate and attentive parents, and the same morbid curiosity that leads a passerby to limit their assistance to an automobile accident and stand still on the corner of the road to watch the pieces of the wreck can prompt one to inquire further. 

however, this is not a midnight circus, and although the concept of a parent mistreating their children can be abstract for those who grew up in the midst of love and care, it does happen and not always there will be purple tinting the softness of their flesh to verify their words. emotional and psychological harm is also a valid form of abuse, especially when coated underneath a velvet glove of education and authority abuse. 

seven years ago, i was disowned by my father, and i admittedly have never and will never attempt to arrange any kind of contact – i will not deliver any written apology nor will i ever ask for forgiveness, solemnly because i am not at fault for being who i am. this letter is to anyone whose response to these words echoed in something akin to this: “but what if something happened to him? you would feel so guilty if he died without talking to you! be the bigger person and try to make things better!” 

i won’t apologize for being the one wronged and i won’t have the guilty they attempt to impose above my shoulders restraining me to the ground simply because they do not understand what it is like to be disregarded worth of living by the person who was supposed to be the basilar pillar to one’s personal growth throughout the entirety of their childhood, because they don’t understand that there are breathing human beings that are devoid of empathy towards their own flesh and blood and intentionally chose to cause harm to the one they were supposed to protect. 

"you don't love me"        "you only cause me disgust and heartbreak"                "you will kill me one day"                        “where did i fail as a father?"                               "i hope one day god forgive me for the son i have."                                           "you have no respect for your father or mother."                                                    "it's all because of how selfish you are."                                                                 "why are you so ungrateful?" "you never do anything for your father!"          "you aren't afraid of going to hell?"                 "if you do this, you are not my son anymore."                          "remember that you are still living off my money"                                  "while you live in this house you will not do that."                                            "you don't value what i do for you!"                                                      "i sacrificed my career for you and that's how you repay me?" "what the rest of the military family will say when they find out the kind of person you really are?"          "i can't even look at people because of the shame of having a son like you."                     "if i die, know that you were the one who killed me"                         "and i will let a written prove saying that it was you, so that everyone knows about it"                                  “you are not good for anything, having you was a mistake” those are not examples of love, those are not examples of how one should discipline their children, those are not examples of a healthy environment, those are not for the best and they surely are not said with one’s own good and self-improvement in mind. thus, i do not feel an ounce of remorse or regret to have pursued a life of my own, for it was his decision to remove me for his, and i simply cannot be anyone else other than myself (and i shouldn’t have to apologize for that).                                                                  wu daeryong

[hiendrae]

Dear ( insert his musical hero )

                                   【 D E D I C A T E D     T O    @recusanse​】

dear inspiration, this letter is not addressed to sid vicious, the one who introduced me to the relevance and the significance of bass and the rhythm to a song, nor is it directed to james dean, whose iconic image was transcending and reached me with encouraging words to pursue a dream i did not know i had until the first time the roughness of my fingertips meet the sharpened ivoried edges of my first script. this letter is not about david bowie, jimi hendrix, kurt cobain, john lennon or any other rockstar who has admittedly influenced myself and my band, in a personal or musical level, because although their geniuses is regarded in the highest level by my person and much admired, i feel like this is the right moment to address my very own musical hero, who was able to encourage me to write my first song even many years after his passing. 

it was in the every depth of a japanese record store that i’ve first became part of the web he sewed, unfortunately, years too late to be able to experience the adrenaline flowing through my bloodstream, the excitement it would generate with every loud jump of my then hopeful and lost heart in the midst of a live concert, like the one presented to my ears through the heavy headphones around my ear as i listened to the first song of an album entitled “psyence”. 

the song was called ‘erase’ and the lyrics were aggressively relatable, and perhaps, a bit too emotionally draining and empowering for a thirteen-year-old to fully understand, but it was enough to cause me comfort. it was then that i first experience the joys of a kind of sympathy and empathy that can only be found in the harmony of a voice and a melody – the one wherein your oxygen leaves the entirety of your lungs in the heaviest of the sighs, first because of surprise and then, astonishment of finally being understood, and your ribs become cages because your heart is encouraged to make itself present; wild and free, widely recognizing the comfort in the warmth of a stranger’s voice. 

                              【 i’m neither happy nor sad, there is just not a story to tell.                        who are you? where am i? tomorrow was yesterday, then who am i?                                  aren’t the sights pretty in the rush of vibrant memories?                         “you reap what you sow, but what a shame! you’re still so young.”】 

by the time the album reached its eight song, i proudly admit that i’ve felt salty drops grace the warmth of my skin for the first time in years, that moment would be always imprinted into both my heart and my memories, for it was solely the first time i’ve allowed myself to express much more than just raw and untamed rage. it’s ironically how it was in the corner of an unfamiliar place with the comfort provided by a stranger’s voice that i’ve felt like i finally belonged to a place. it was through his words; the bittersweet melancholy and the unwinding need of freedom that i felt more comforted, more in touch with my own self. i refer to that period as the first soul searching moment i have ever had and the enlightenment that led me to who i am today, it is with conviction that i asseverate today that i would have never been myself if i had not come in contact with his music then. because it was this very one bridge that encouraged me to pursue music as a goal and it still reminds me to this day of the reasons behind my choice of the path i follow: 

                                              【 please, songs, tell them my truth.                                                       and i will keep playing you.            wherever i goand even if i find myself somewhere lost and aloneif i sing you,                                        i will be able to walk on with ginger steps.                                                                                                              goodbye 】 

and now, nineteen years after your death, i promise you to attempt my absolute hardest to keep your memory alive – i promise to carry on your word and your music to the younger generation worldwide who is in need of understating and the knowledge that in between your web there will always be a place to belong, and that there are a million of people that understand them and that can also relate to your words. i promise you that i will help, not only your band members, but every other band that admires your work to this day, to make you immortal in the only way it would be acceptable to you. in the hearts and in the souls of the misfits, underdogs and the youth beyond the threshold of time and its limitations and i want to carry your will to make the eastern rock spread widely across all seven seas.                                                                                       we are all x.this letter is addressed to a music hero who left this world too soon, and regardless of the mystery and the controversies that still surround his name, is still the one person that made me aware of the fact that rock and roll and all its subgenres shouldn’t be confined to the western hemisphere, that music is transcending and there are no barriers that could fence in a lion heart and a wild soul. this letter is for hideto matsumoto, better known as hide, the lead guitarist of x-japan, the representation against the rebellion of the youth towards the conformism in japanese society and whose death marked the end of an entire era.love,                                                              wu daeryong.

[hiendrae]

a  very  descriptive  &  detailed               profile  of  your  muse.

repost with information about your muse. when you’re done, tag 15 other people to do the same ! if you’ve already completed this, please feel free to ignore.

tagged by:  @amaverasu @hansteria @tachycrdiac @17kmmn // thank you very much, loves! tagging: @dyetcola @vuranos @hwangsia @bangyeong @svvyn @deceitfvl @hidenite @plantboiji @badhoneys @serentv @chiaso @insanitum @stilledsouls @noricova @bloomingrebel

name.  wu daeryong – his name means great dragon and was inspired by the draco constellation, one of the largest constellation in the sky and visible on the north hemisphere during all times of the year, for it never sets bellow the horizon line. his mother named him after it with hopes that her son would accomplish greater feats and proudly remain with his head held up high throughout any trials and tribulations. a curiosity is that in the myth surrounding the constellation, the goddess hera was responsible for the placement of not only the dragon in the sky, but also of hydra and the scorpion, both constellations also related to him by birth sign and the name of his band. rien wu – the name rien derives from latin and gaelic, its significance translates to “of the sea” and “king”. its pronounced in the same manner as the english words ‘rain’ and ‘reign’, which surprisingly can be related to the meaning of his name, his decision to undertake an ‘western’ name was based on the sole fact that during his time overseas close to absolutely no people could pronounce his name correctly and initially, the name rien was chosen after the character in alfred hitchcock’s 1956 suspense thriller ‘the man who knew too much’.

age.   he is in his early to mid-twenties, in international age system he is 23 years old, and in korean age system, he is 24 years old.

species.  human. while curious about the occult and the supernatural, and often portraying those in the big or small screen through the horror and thriller genre, he remains oblivious to the existence of extraordinary creatures or abilities. rien quotes stephen king when inquired about his believes, stating that “ghosts are real and monsters are real too, they live inside us and sometimes, they win.”

gender. cis male, he was born and identifies himself as a male.

orientation.  presumed heterosexual by the media and his fans. however, rien prefers do no define himself, as he states that he is attracted to people, all warm bodies, erotic reactions to his every touch and the possibility of an emotional connection (whether or not it is romantic), not labeled packages; cold, frail, and hollow containers. although, to this day, most of the few serious relationships he has committed himself to held females as his significant other and did not last for extend periods of time.

profession.  he identifies himself as a musician, as he is musically talented, not restraining himself to the simple fact he can play diverse musical instruments, such as electric and acoustic guitars, including the bass – his main instrument, and the piano. as a musician, his known skills can be summarized in composing, performing, singing, arranging and the orchestration of music. since 2012, he added a second occupation to this list, after his debut as an actor in an sbs production named ghost, currently he extends his developing expertise in the field for partaking roles for television drama series, movies and short films (mostly music videos or promotional videos for his band and other groups), and is currently preparing to a theatrical debut.

                                                             【 PHYSICAL ASPECTS. 】

body type.  broad shoulders, wide clavicles, narrow waist, thin joints, strong muscles, long frame and large limbs. his body is build and athletic, due to nearly daily training circuit under the watchful hawk eyes of his personal trainer ( @haikjoo ) in order to remain and improve the physics and stamina required to partake on action filled roles that are usually offered to him. he has a pre-disposition for lower body fat, which makes his metabolism work deliberately rapidly, despite of the fact he not always respects the established diet.

hair.  his hair has surprisingly not yet been used as an outlet for his creativity, remaining natural an untouched throughout the seven years of his activity on the music scene, currently, it can be found in a peaked style cut; longer in the front and usually styled upwards, but shorter in the sides and on his nape. the color is often described as a raven colored hair, thick and rather messy, it’s a personal preference of his to utilize sea salt hair spray instead of hair gel to style his hair. eyes.  his eyes are probably his most distinctive features and he is widely known for it. they are hazel colored, a stir of light hue of cognac brown and the darkness of muted green, that are guarded by dark eyelashes, just long enough to adorn it, but not prominent as the majority of his features expressions are rough and rather sharp, often earning him a much more intimidating edge to his already tall and broad frame. a curiosity is that alongside go ara, lee seungkyung and seo kangjun, rien is known for being part of the light colored and early nineties acting line. 

skin.  his skin is fair colored, and although he tans rather easily, his skin doesn’t seem to sustain the color for long periods, often returning to the lighter shade by the time winter is in evidence. the tanning process usually resonates in long periods of exposure to the sun, mostly while at the beach, followed by a rather painful process of reddening of his skin because of a sun burn, finally peeling the damaged skin into a rather golden color. however, it is a well-known fact that rien doesn’t like the summer, the season that provides the most accurate scenarios for this type of situation.

height.  he stands high in 188cm, roughly and easily, surpassing 6 feet and one inch in another measurement scale.

                                                                        【 FAMILY .】  

siblings.  rien has one older sister whose name is wu dahee or riley wu, for the acquaintances that came to know her during their times overseas, she is four years older than him and currently is the only family member who rien still maintain contact after his disownment active as one of the members of architectural and interior design team of l’eau design firm based in seoul, south korea. rien and his sister have always been close and well connected despite their age difference, have always been very protective of each other, it’s not uncommon to spot her and her husband in the vip section of hydrae’s concerts. 

parents.  his father, wu taejeon, has an extensive and astonished military career, currently occupying the position of a lieutenant general of the republic of korea marine corps, also being responsible for the first division, labeled sea dragon by the korean forces, leading the first reconnaissance battalion. rien and his father have always had an extremely strained relationship, and the strictness with which he conducted his family as if it was an extension of his units had always been the main focused of their feuds, much to his mother’s grief. rien resends his father and often attributes his erratic and rebellious behavior to a response to his father’s expectations, his father disowned him a few years earlier than their break through the music scene, when rien was still in the last attending years of high school. his mother, park sunyung, is currently the chief in the translation department of the chosun ilbo, one of the major newspaper in south korea, providing the web version of with published articles in japanese and english. formly an active journalist for the korea times, she accompanied her husband, alongside their family, on countless of overseas missions and training while gathering research and materials to write her own articles whilst also focusing on the education of her children. she respects her husband’s wishes and although she does miss her son and long for the day her family is completed again.

any pets?  no, although he does wants one. due to his hectic schedules and the amount of time he spent traveling, rien assumes he has not the proper lifestyle or environment to raise any pets, unfortunately, although, he does admit that ever since a young age, he is fascinated by akita-inus and would love to adopt one if the chance make itself presentable.

                                                                            【 LIKES 】

colors.  his favorite colors are usually cold and muted tones, such as black, navy and wine. his wardrobe mainly consists of monochromatic hues with the exception of the afore mentioned colors and military prints.  automobility wise, he prefers to avoid the black color, considering how it easily encourages the overheating of the insides of a car when exposed to the sun for a long amount of time, rien is known to drive a convertible bordeaux colored granturismo maserati and a dark grey bmw x1, considering how easily recognizable his first car can be. 

smells.  marine scents are his favorite, anything that slightly resembles the scent carried by the ocean breeze in the seashore appeals to his senses, rien attributes the scent to freedom and calmness as it never fails to sooth the worries of his raging heart. the scent of coffee always reminds him of the sun rising after a storm, the comfort within the hardships that prompted him to continue working towards his dreams even without the support of his family. the scent of the rain in the aftermath or in the beginning of the storming season, one can often spot him sitting at his balcony, with a cigarette in hands and thoughts guiding his mind to a place far away during rainy afternoons, not really concerned about the occasional raindrops scooting closer to his person.

food & drinks.  he is fond of japanese cosine, particularly, ramen and sushi, aside from the never fading juvenile taste he has for the street food in korea, often buying a ddeokbokki, bbopkki, boonguh ppang or gamja hot dong instead of the normal sweetening snacks offered in the backstage of shows and filming locations. he rather spicy to sweets, and although he is quite talented to bake and provide desserts, he not often eats those himself. he drinks his coffee black and pure, without cream, milk or any sugar to keep himself awake at the ungodly times of the night, regardless of his knowledge of elaborated caffeine drinks including latte art, and is not the type to dismiss a good cup of tea because of his preference for coffee.

favorites.  whiskey and wine, more specifically cabernet sauvignon and the four horsemen, a drink made of the mixture of four different types of whiskey in a shot glass, without any ice cubs or form of dilution. it is noticeable that another one of his favorite things are cigarettes, marlboro red being his preferred smoking brand.

                                                            【  OTHER  DETAILS  】

smokes: yes [ ✓ ] no [  ] occasionally [  ] drugs: yes [  ] no [  ] occasionally [ ✓  ] driver license: yes [ ✓ ] no [  ] ever been arrested: yes [  ] no [  ] detained [ ✓  ]