#《 even when they have a fairly good idea of what Nicolau likes 》

[birdhcuse]

You'd think the guy with a rich nepo baby bf would feel more pressure to find a good gift for his boyfriend, but Teagan would stress out a lot more than Emil.

Emil tends to lean on the classics—plushies, chocolates, and flowers. Maybe some jewelry if he could afford it. They're classics for a reason and Jasper seems thrilled by any gift Emil gives him. Jasper could get anything he wants, whenever he wants. The value in the gifts comes from Emil giving them to him. Plus, Emil has...other means of sweeping Jasper off his feet.

Meanwhile, Teagan knows Nicolau didn't get to have much and they don't have money to blow on stuff that Nicolau won't like, so they feel extra pressure to get The Perfect Gift. They'd have detailed notes on Nicolau's likes and dislikes, the colors he seems to run out of more often, etc. Nicolau's going around like "Pretty shiny rock. Teagan would like this. :)" (and they do) while Teagan's like "I devoted so much brain power into finding this thing that'd be useful to you/make you happy, but if I'm wrong, I'll just give you the receipt and then throw myself in an active volcano." They tend to lean more towards acts of service, physical affection, and verbal affection (praise) because regular gift giving isn't sustainable for them financially or mental health wise. However, this tends to backfire on them because now they have to find the PERFECT gift(s) for Nicolau's birthday/Christmas/Valentines/anniversaries/etc. or else they've Failed as a Partner.

[writingsubmissions]

Fights to Make: UFC Nashville

Cub Swanson (beat Artem Lobov) vs. Ricardo Lamas/Chan Sung Jung (Jul. 22) winner: Swanson’s win over Lobov was one of a few fights on this card where I’m not exactly sure what to make of things - Swanson was clearly the better fighter, but given that he’s about a top four featherweight and I’m not sure Lobov’s in the top forty, it’s kind of baffling that Swanson was never able to really pull away and complete dominate the fight. That probably suggests Swanson is going to be overmatched once he gets back to facing championship contenders, but, frankly, that should probably be his next fight, since he still has a bunch of momentum in the division. It sounds like Swanson’s taking some time off - he’s expecting a child, and fighting all these wars is tough - so I like the idea of him facing either Ricardo Lamas or The Korean Zombie after those two square off in late July, either on the Fox card in Long Island or UFC 214. Swanson/Jung’s the action fight that pretty much everyone has been eyeing, and even Swanson/Lamas would be a fun fight between two vets - and a rematch of a 2011 Lamas win - that would have huge stakes as a potential title eliminator.

Al Iaquinta (beat Diego Sanchez) vs. Michael Johnson: Well, Iaquinta pretty much picked up where he left off in every aspect - he completely annihilated Diego Sanchez, then had a weird post-fight interview where he seemed more interested in his real estate business than advancing his fight career, and then cursed out the UFC on social media for not giving him a performance of the night bonus. So, who knows when we’ll see Iaquinta again - if it’s anytime soon, Michael Johnson would make for a fun striking match that could shoot Iaquinta into the ranks of the contenders, but given his on-again/off-again status with the company, who knows how far they’re going to push him.

John Dodson (beat Eddie Wineland) vs. Bryan Caraway: Well, Dodson regressed badly here, even in a win - he had looked more aggressive and more tactical since moving up to bantamweight, but this was similar to some of his worst flyweight fights; Wineland just couldn��t keep up with Dodson’s speed, and Dodson saw no reason to push the fight past that, just remaining passive, avoiding damage, and just coasting to a boring win. I’m kind of iffy on even moving him up the ladder, but I guess give him Caraway, who at least might be able to adjust on the fly and always has that grappling game, I guess. It’s amazing how my enthusiasm for Dodson fights waxes and wanes depending on his last performance.

Brandon Moreno (beat Dustin Ortiz) vs. Jussier Formiga: Moreno had one of the best performances on the card, overcoming some early trouble to score a dynamic finish of Dustin Ortiz in his biggest test to date - he’s much more under the radar, but Moreno is looking like every bit the phenom and potential Mexican star that Yair Rodriguez has been. At this point, I’d just keep testing Moreno to see how high he can get this early in his career, and Formiga’s a stalwart of the top five of the division that can test Moreno’s excellent grappling.

Ovince St. Preux (beat Marcos Rogerio de Lima) vs. Corey Anderson: I’m happy St. Preux finally got a win, as de Lima pretty much imploded and let himself get tapped out, but less enthusiastic that OSP’s in such a thin division that UFC’s going to have to pretend he can still be a viable contender. It’s hard to find an interesting fight for St. Preux, since he’s fought a lot of guys and they’ve wound up being pretty decisive, so I guess go with Anderson next - both are kind of in a similar spot as guys too flawed to move too high up the rankings, but too talented to get too low, though I at least still have hope Anderson can get better.

Thales Leites (beat Sam Alvey) vs. Vitor Belfort: Leites is another guy who completely regressed, even in a win - there was a brief period where Leites was showing some confident striking and knockout power to go with his always-solid grappling base, but now he’s back to being the same timid, fairly unwatchable guy that got cut from his first UFC stint. Leites injured Alvey early with some leg kicks and then...did nothing, for the most part, coasting to a blah decision. Vitor Belfort’s looking for a retirement fight in Brazil, and if Leites is completely toothless once again, he’s probably the best opponent Belfort can actually beat, so do that.

Eddie Wineland (lost to John Dodson) vs. Rob Font: Dodson was faster than Wineland expected and that was pretty much that, as a boring decision loss put an end to Wineland’s recent career resurgence. Still, Wineland’s a solid top-fifteen gatekeeper that can have a fun fight against the right opponent, and Font’s a talented, exciting guy around the same level, so that could be a great fight and an opportunity for Font’s biggest win to date.

Stevie Ray (beat Joe Lauzon) vs. Islam Makhachev: I’m of two minds on how to book Ray next - he’ll obviously figure prominently on July’s card in his native Scotland, and I see him as more future action fighter than contender - so do you treat him as an action fighter and just give him a fun matchup to make the fans happy, or try to move him up the ladder against a stout wrestler, since even with this impressive comeback win from Lauzon, Ray’s defensive grappling is still an obvious liability. I’ll go the latter route and put him against Russian wrestler Makhachev, even if I worry it’ll be a grinding one-sided decision for Makhachev and be sort of a lowlight for a card in Scotland.

Mike Perry (beat Jake Ellenberger) vs. Leon Edwards: I really wish Perry wasn’t a garbage human - he had some early trouble here, but his standing elbow knockout of Ellenberger was a beautiful bit of violence that would make anyone a fan...as long as they didn’t know literally anything else about Mike Perry. But anyway, looks like Florida Man is here to stay, and Perry against Edwards, a streaking British prospect, would make for a fun fight to see where both guys are at in their move up the ladder.

Alexis Davis (beat Cindy Dandois) vs. Ketlen Vieira: Well, Davis is still solidly a top-ten bantamweight, but this whole fight against Dandois was just...oof. Davis won the grappling exchanges of the bout, which is a feather in her cap, but Dandois’s striking is so awful that it’s just hard to get excited about any sort of win over the Belgian. Davis seems like a gatekeeper who’s slowly getting aged out of the division as better female athletes start to take up MMA, so let’s use her in that role against Vieira, who improved greatly in between her two UFC fights thus far.

Jake Ellenberger (lost to Mike Perry) vs. Tim Means: Although Ellenberger is ostensibly an action fighter, his fights haven’t been all that fun anymore, as some tentativeness and a lack of durability make his fights just seem like a countdown to him getting knocked out like he did here. But since UFC seems to be on a kick of putting Ellenberger in tough fights until he decides to quit, I guess continue that streak against Means, who always brings the violence and needs a bounce-back win.

Artem Lobov (lost to Cub Swanson) vs. Alexander Volkanovski/Mizuto Hirota (Jun. 10) winner: On the one hand, Lobov seems like a nice guy, so it’s nice that he acquitted himself well here, but I really am worried that UFC will run with the whole “he survived against a top five guy” angle and, along with his friendship with Conor McGregor, keep trying to push Lobov as a going concern in fights against guys who could be doing something more interesting. In actuality, this was only really Lobov’s second performance where he looked like he actually belonged in the UFC, and probably took him from “guy you need to beat to stay on the roster” to someone who can be a fun test for actual prospects. To that end, if top Australian prospect Alexander Volkanovski can get past Mizuto Hirota in June, that’d be a fun next test, and if it winds up turning into Lobov/Hirota, well...at least you’re not wasting the time of anyone interesting.

Joe Lauzon (lost to Stevie Ray) vs. Polo Reyes/James Vick (May 13) winner: Lauzon’s still in the same role - good enough to give any prospect a test, but flawed enough that he’s easily beatable; he pretty much destroyed Ray for a round here, but then gassed badly and even gave up a potential 10-8 round himself at the end of things. But Lauzon’s still a fun fighter, and Polo Reyes and James Vick are fun fighters squaring off at UFC 211, so let’s make that fight for a shot at Lauzon, who’d be the biggest win for either guy yet.

Sam Alvey (lost to Thales Leites) vs. Hector Lombard: Leites injured Alvey’s ankle almost immediately with some leg kicks, and that was pretty much that - Alvey couldn’t really plant for his big power punches, and while he continued to apply some pressure, it didn’t really get him anywhere. Let’s do a weird fight to see if Hector Lombard has any explosiveness left, even though it could devolve into an awful staring contest.

Diego Sanchez (lost to Al Iaquinta) vs. Tony Martin: I thought Sanchez had still looked surprisingly effective in some recent victories, but Iaquinta annihilated him here and confirmed that Sanchez’s chin has officially cracked, and without that durability I don’t really care to see him fight again. Martin’s probably the least dangerous guy I can think of as far as being able to crack Sanchez, since he’s mostly a power grappler, so maybe do a retirement fight for Sanchez, and then call it a day.

Dustin Ortiz (lost to Brandon Moreno) vs. Matheus Nicolau: Ortiz looked really good here, continuing the momentum from his big win over Zach Makovsky...and then got knocked out and tapped out by uber-prospect Moreno. Whoops. Ortiz is in a similar spot to fellow Tennessee native OSP above - he’s past facing scrubs, but doesn’t really deserve a contender, and in a thin division, he’s fought a lot of guys around the same level already. I guess go with Nicolau, a talented Brazilian who beat John Moraga last July, but is currently dealing with a bunch of USADA issues.

Danielle Taylor (beat Jessica Penne) vs. Tatiana Suarez: Well, Taylor seems to be slowly refining her gameplan - she’s absolutely tiny, so she just chooses to circle at range and divebomb in with power shots, and that worked as well as it ever has here against Penne, even though I’m not sure she deserved the decision. I have no idea what you do with her, but I guess she’s a fine enough test for former TUF winner and top prospect Suarez to start off her UFC career proper against.

Hector Sandoval (beat Matt Schnell) vs. Louis Smolka: Sandoval looked good here, winning a fun sprint with some absolutely brutal hammerfists and showing he has some actual power at 125. I like the idea of a fight against Smolka, who’s slid down the ladder after three straight losses - it’d be huge stakes with Smolka probably fighting for his contract and Sandoval looking for the best win of his career.

Bryan Barberena (beat Joe Proctor) vs. Lyman Good: This was probably prospect-killer Barberena’s most fun win to date, as things turned into a brawl fairly quickly before he knocked out Proctor. I’d just keep feeding him fun mid-card guys, and it’s about time for Good, a former Bellator champ who won his debut in 2015 and has been off the radar ever since, to make his return and face a solid gatekeeper like “Bam Bam”.

Scott Holtzman (beat Michael McBride) vs. Damien Brown/Vinc Pichel (Jun. 10) winner: Michael McBride wouldn’t go away, but Holtzman continued to beat the piss out of him, and that’s probably his role going forward - low-level brawls or showcase fights where Holtzman can just sort of hoss out and rely on his former hockey enforcer background. To that end, Brown and Pichel are both scrappy lower-level guys that can either give Holtzman a fight, or just keep hanging around if they can’t.

Marcos Rogerio de Lima (lost to Ovince St. Preux) vs. John Phillips: De Lima is what he is - he’ll miss weight, try to go for a finish for about three or four minutes, then gas out and crumble. He was slated for a fight against Conor McGregor teammate Phillips in January, so let’s re-book that. Sure.

Jessica Penne (lost to Danielle Taylor) vs. Nina Ansaroff: Penne didn’t look bad here, but once it became apparent she couldn’t get Taylor to the floor, it became a weird fight that could’ve gone either way. Penne badly needs a win in her next fight, as this came after two straight losses to top competition, so I like the idea of her against Ansaroff in a winnable fight for either fighter that would be Penne fighting for her career versus Ansaroff fighting to make her own.

Joe Proctor (lost to Bryan Barberena) vs. Mike Pyle: Proctor’s a fun enough fighter, but pretty much roster fodder, so I wouldn’t be shocked to see him used in a role something like a fight with Pyle, where the story becomes more about Pyle having anything left rather than anything Proctor can or can’t do.

Matt Schnell (lost to Hector Sandoval) vs. Neil Seery: This loss brings Schnell’s UFC record to 0-2, but he’s talented and fun, so I hope he gets another shot. He’d make for a nice retirement opponent against Seery - it’d be a fun fight and winnable for either guy.

Cindy Dandois (lost to Alexis Davis) vs. Sarah Moras: I have no idea what you do with Dandois - she’s a dangerous grappler, but the worst striker in UFC since...I have no idea when, so every fight of hers is just going to be a weird crapshoot. I’m not sure where Sarah Moras has been - probably just nursing injuries - but sure, that’s a fight.

Michael McBride (lost to Scott Holtzman) vs. Claudio Puelles: It’s probably two and out for McBride, who just got repeatedly starched by Holtzman in this fight but still managed to survive. If he gets another fight, I guess make it loser leaves town against TUF: Latin America 3 runner-up Puelles, who’s talented but seems kind of flaky.