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[fallencomrade]

𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙸𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙽𝙴𝚆 𝚂𝙸𝙶𝙽𝙰𝙻   //     T̷ R̷ A̷ N̷ S̷ M̷ I̷ T̷ T̷ I̷ N̷ G̷ … 𝙸𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚇𝙸𝙽𝙶 𝙵𝚁𝙾𝙼 𝙰𝚁𝙲𝙷𝙸𝚅𝙴𝚂  //   [ SOURCE ] 𝚄𝚂𝙴𝚁 𝙸𝙳 :   A. STARR    ↦    @etherealstarr

𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑶𝑬𝑺 𝑵𝑶𝑻 𝑭𝑳𝑰𝑵𝑪𝑯 𝑾𝑯𝑬𝑵 𝑴𝑬𝑻 𝑾𝑰𝑻𝑯 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑺𝑷𝑼𝑹𝑵 𝑶𝑭 𝑯𝑬𝑹 𝑩𝑰𝑻𝑬. she tries to keep her own emotions contained - the anger, the disbelief, the pain - but just like her broken image, the inner turmoil bleeds through in her voice. the way it cracks, fractured - just like the rest of her. he does not take back his words nor does he regret sharing them - but he cannot exactly blame her either for throwing the notions back at him, incredulous and cross. it is eerie, the likeness between them ;; the number of similarities their stories share. yet, in the same breath, they are also so incredibly different.

A STATE OF CHAOS. so many witnessed the winter soldier in action and were convinced he existed and thrived in that plane of disarray, but the exact opposite was actually closer to validity. the soldier required ORDER, proven certainty. a creature of habit, he was lulled by the familiarity, simplicity and ease of deployments, the unwavering consistency of his skills, the tested fortitude of his own body, the elimination of thought, choice, or consideration. all things moved according to hydra's grand plan. surprises, unanticipated threats, failed missions, escaped targets, doubt, questions, fear - it all jeopardized the fulfillment of the mission and for the asset, the only thing that ever mattered was completing the mission. regulation, discipline, consistency - with these things, objectives could be achieved more quickly. he preformed best in a state of CONTROL - even if that sense of control was a lie. even when chaos erupted all around him, as long as it was controlled chaos - controlled and incited by himself, by hydra - it was acceptable.

so alike, but so different ... watching the phantasm before him, the hardened soldier realizes he is staring into the abyss of true chaos - and it is a realm marked by horror, anguish and throttling fear. she is driven by that fear, by the pain of the unknown, made to do terrible things in order to survive. cruel fate forced her to desperation. he was first a soldier and then a prisoner of war and then a war criminal, also forced to do questionable things in order to survive ;; in order to protect the ones he loved ;; in order to do ( what he was told ) was the right thing ... nothing is truly that black or white, good or evil, moral or immoral. see enough, live through enough and you will eventually learn this unfortunate truth.

she flickers in and out, a dozen emotions flashing before his eyes - but that which is the loudest ? pain. agony. despair. HE IS WATCHING A CATASTROPHE UNFOLD. stunning, horrifying to behold - but he cannot pull his eyes away. contrary to popular belief, he is not a monster. in fact, bucky barnes has always had a soft spot for broken things, so while his expression remains guarded and composed, his voice is surprisingly soft, kind.

❛  how can i help you ? ❜