#⭒ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ˗ˏˋ ❝ ꜰᴀᴅɪɴɢ ɪɴᴛᴏ ʏᴇꜱᴛᴇʀᴅᴀʏ; ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴘʀᴇ-ᴇꜱᴛᴀʙʟɪꜱʜᴇᴅ ʜᴀʀᴍᴏɴʏ ❞ ◌ ᴜʟᴛɪᴍᴀᴛᴇ ᴛᴀʟᴇɴᴛ ᴅᴇᴠ. ᴀᴜ ¦ 「 Kazuichi 」

[not-bcring]

Nothing was really out of the ordinary when Kazuichi would walk into the classroom; Hiyoko was bullying Mikan, Akane was doing pushups with Ibuki seated on her back while her and Nekomaru cheered, Sonia was nose deep in her latest novel, and Gundham was feeding seeds to his Devas, the breeder watching his beloved pets with a small smile as he reached a hand into his-

No, not his, Kazuichi's sweatshirt, his usual coat thrown over it in an effort to protect himself from the cold that they all suddenly found themselves in. It was deceptive, being black in color in all but the print, but it was undeniably the mechanic's with the garish coloration of the design across the torso.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Gundham perked up when he caught Kazuichi from the corner of his eye, a smile coming over his face that very few would have the privilege of being on the receiving end of. "Ah, there you are." It's said warmly as the phone was put back into his pocket, the breeder clearly having been about to text his boyfriend. "I apologize for leaving before you were to awake, there were beasts in need of my care that could not have waited until later."

One couldn't help but wonder if Kazuichi found it odd how easily Gundham slipped into the role of boyfriend, though one could argue they had been dating long before the official title. Pet names and smiles came more readily now, even under the watch of others, and though a bit embarrassed by public displays of affection, Gundham was always willing to hold Kaz's hand, or give a kiss in passing. Those acts were fleeting though, a blink and they were gone, yet here the breeder was in Kazuichi's clothes for all to see. "Did you sleep well, love?"

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Ever since admitting his shame to Fuyuhiko, he hasn’t been able to get it out of his mind. What was once a hidden fear now screaming loudly, drowning Kazuichi in a cacophony of guilt that had kept him up late into the night. Nestled against his boyfriend, secure in Gundham’s embrace yet mind still racing behind shut eyelids and deceptively-even breathing. Lamenting the loss of his ignorance, Kaz wonders for the millionth time why his emotions must be so messy. Why can’t he ever understand without realization having to smash into him like a hammer? Shattering his skull with a splitting headache, stress making Kaz down a couple aspirin that morning to try and counteract the throbbing in his temple.

Exhausted, he had stumbled his way to class, rubbing his face and emitting a heavy sigh before opening the door. Back straightening with a silent prayer to hide his bedraggled state, Kaz had only hoped to get through the day without any surprises. A boring, mind-numbingly-so, class would be a gift of good fortune he knows he doesn’t deserve. But every fiber in his being hoped for such anyway. If only to make up for the Hell that awaited him afterward as he navigates what to do about his reservations. Gundham is going to hate him for it. Kaz just knows it.

❛  Fuck… ❜  Is all he can think, the curse summing up his feelings rather eloquently. Gaze downcast in thought and steps hurried, Kaz doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until Gundham’s voice cuts through his whirlwind of thoughts. Oddly, considering the breeder is the source of his panic, it sends a burst of warmth throughout Kazuichi’s chest. A slow, soothing spread of comfort, raising Kaz’s eyes with an eagerness to see Gundham’s face. To see that smile Kaz has grown dependent on, never failing to make him marvel at how he used to be afraid of the man capable of it. Returned smile is small but sincere, the gratitude behind Kazuichi’s eyes more damning than anything the breeder could do.

Unfortunately, Kaz is unaware of how telling his own expressions have never failed to be. Gaze flitting down to Gundham’s hand when it returns the phone, what his boyfriend is wearing suddenly strikes Kazuichi like a punch to the gut. Stiffening with a sharp intake of breath, Kaz nearly misses Gundham’s apology.  ❝  O-Oh! It’s no problem! I uh— I didn’t mind.  ❞  He hastily replies, fumbling to sit down at the desk beside Gundham’s. Nearly knocking over the chair, frazzled demeanor only grows worse as he scrambles to catch it with a choked-back yelp. Quickly sitting down, Kaz sets his backpack upon the desk with a thud that’s far louder than he wishes it was, knowing that he’s likely drawing far more attention to himself than anything Gundham had done. But he can’t help it, panic taking hold and making movements clumsy.

❛  Way to go dumbass… ❜  Rummaging through his bag in a bluff to make it seem like he’s busy and doesn’t feel eyes boring into him from all directions— ones that may exist only in his mind, Kaz too frightened to risk looking at what his classmates are doing —stomach sinks at the small lie he had told. He hadn’t minded, of course! Gundham’s animals are important and there’s no rule that they have to wake up together. No, what settles heavily in Kazuichi’s stomach is the brief bout of confusion that had hit when he first opened his eyes. Reaching out and feeling nothing beside him had been… strange. He’s no longer accustomed to waking up alone. To falling asleep alone. Gundham lying beside him has become his new normal. That shouldn’t be a scary thought. Yet Kaz can’t help but wonder how much it would hurt if he had to get used to waking up alone again.

Which is a terrifying thought.

Being alone… is terrifying again.

As is how effortlessly Gundham calls him love at the risk of everyone hearing, Kazuichi’s face burning with an intensity that nearly makes him dizzy. He wants to hug Gundham. How is Gundham so comfortable with this? He wants to kiss Gundham. With letting people know that he’s dating someone like Kazuichi? Why can’t he just go to Gundham? Isn’t he ashamed? Isn’t he worried about— No. He’s not. Gundham loves him. He loves him. He loves him, he loves him, he loves him. Breath quickening against Kaz’s will, he can’t bring himself to look at Gundham. Can’t bring himself to look at anything but the dark abyss of his backpack. Thoughts are too loud. It hurts too much to breathe. To exist. It’s loud and confusing and frightening and it’s HIS fault. He’s getting worked up, like he always does. He just needs to calm down. 

Just calm the fuck down.

Stop being a bitch and get a grip.

❝  Y-Yeah, I slept alright…  ❞  Voice cracks but it’s the best Kaz can do, shoulders hunching as he slumps forward in his seat, as if trying to disappear from sight. Fuck his hands are trembling. Abruptly shoving them into his backpack, as if that’s less conspicuous than their clear tremor, Kaz clears his throat and awkwardly adds,  ❝  I’m just- feelin’ a little off today. It’s not really a big deal… Probably something stupid like a cold or whatever.  ❞  Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Grimacing at his failure to act composed, or even just partially alright, Kazuichi wonders what the chances are of Gundham letting his strange behavior go unchallenged… Maybe if Kaz is lucky, the earth will split open under his desk and he’ll fall into a bottomless pit. Far stranger things have happened… After all, Kaz does have a boyfriend. For now.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Please for the love of fucking god tell me you and that breeder bitch are actually dating now." Fuyuhiko all but demanded as he cornered Kazuichi against his own dormitory door, or rather Gundham's door, more accurately, hand batting at the stupid scarf he had seen around the mechanic's neck more than the breeder's that week. "I can't fucking tell, but shit feels different." //grant him some peace kazuichi

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi’s back is firmly pressed against Gundham’s— Gundham and his door, palms flat on the surface as Kaz all but tries to phase through it. Considering discreetly reaching for the doorknob, fingers twitch in a second of contemplation, before Kaz decides against it. There’s no way Fuyuhiko wouldn’t notice with how intently he’s watching. Especially with how likely it is that Kaz would fumble the entire time. It’d be more discreet to simply turn around, open the door, and walk his ass right back in. Which isn’t an option, for obvious reasons.

So it looks like he’s trapped, flushed face sinking even deeper into the scarf Fuyuhiko bats, hands quickly darting up to lift the soft fabric further over his mouth. Practically covering his nose, words are muffled as he frantically whines in a hushed tone,  ❝  Dude, would you keep it down??  ❞  Immediately, Kaz feels disgusting for his instinctive concern. It’s not like he and Gundham are actively hiding their new relationship. Hell, if they WERE trying to be discreet, they’d be doing a pretty shitty job of it. The hickeys covered by the breeder’s scarf— Kaz’s white-knuckled grip growing tighter at the thought of the plentiful marks —are but a small example of how affectionate the two have become.

Not that they weren’t already pretty damn affectionate before…

Honestly, it’s stupid. That jolt of panic Kaz had felt at Fuyuhiko’s raised voice. That deep-seated sick twisting of his stomach at the thought of anyone aside from him and Gundham knowing that— … Shit. He’s a horrible boyfriend, isn’t he? Should they be blatantly telling people? Is this news they’re supposed to be spreading around? Kaz hadn’t thought he was trying to HIDE anything, but he hadn’t been trying to flaunt either. Not purposely. But just now, he can’t deny that he hadn’t wanted anyone to overhear Fuyuhiko’s accusation. Panic was unlike the embarrassment that always arose before. Back when Kaz didn’t think Gundham felt the same way, when he was still trying to navigate his own confusing feelings.

This time, the panic was because… Fuyuhiko is right.

Fuck. He’s horrible at being gay.

❝  Y-Yeah. We’re dating.  ❞  Kaz awkwardly mutters into the scarf, suddenly feeling VERY unworthy to breathe in its scent. Not meeting Fuyuhiko’s gaze, face burns with shame as he asks,  ❝  Can I ask you something?  ❞  Without even waiting for a reply, he hastily continues, the poor Yakuza apparently STILL having a part to play in his classmate’s romance,  ❝  Is it bad that I still feel— weird about other people knowing? It’s not that I don’t want them to know! I’m not trying to hide that Gundham’s my- y’know—  ❞  Grimacing at how his omission did NOT help his point, Kaz groans and runs a hand down his face.

Forcing himself to look at Fuyuhiko, he pulls down the scarf so it’s resting comfortably around his neck, words no longer muffled,  ❝  It’s scary as Hell, okay? To be— To officially be— I… I guess I just, forgot that when I told Gundham, it meant I was telling everyone else too.  ❞  Looking down at the scarf, he holds the end in his hands, thumbs rubbing the fabric as he weakly asks,  ❝  Is it shitty of me to kinda- wish no one had to know?  ❞

Shit, that came out wrong.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

「 ☆ 」 Grimacing at Gundham's phrasing— it makes sense the other would have a poor view of ❛ horrible fruit-flavored concoctions ❜ —he stares into his empty glass and tries to take comfort in knowing he was RIGHT to order some shitty, satanic drink that is trying to burn a hole in his stomach. But it's a bittersweet victory, Kaz steeling himself for a night of swallowing shot after shot of ❛ liquid fire ❜. Honestly, HOW can anyone stand those things? Doesn't life already hurt enough; did they need to distill pain into a drinkable form? Is it really so bad to want to enjoy a few prettily-colored and sweet-tasting treats... Of course it is. Gundham just proved it.

What his boyfriend downed was a REAL drink. A man's drink... Kazuichi has already proven himself to be not even close to one: with his penchant for crying, colors, clinginess... taking cock. But drinking is something he can do. Poorly, maybe. But he can still do it. When he was desperately trying to act like someone he wasn't for people who couldn't care less, getting shit-faced was a tried-and-true method of showing he was capable of being somewhat cool and normal. Truthfully, Kazuichi doesn't know what urged him to try and recreate that with Gundham.

Things have been going well with his boyfriend. So very well... Maybe that's what brought this forth. Wanting to suggest drinking before Gundham could, so he wouldn't be taken off-guard. Needing to feel that false sense of control. To feel as though he's ❛ showing off ❜ for the other instead of being unknowingly backed into a corner by him. To impress Gundham, even if it's for a stupid reason like this.

Or maybe he just can't help but fuck up good things.

Pulled from his pondering, Kazuichi blinks at the softness in Gundham's tone. Looking away from the dark droplet sliding down his glass, pink hues questioningly focus upon his boyfriend. Wide and innocent, completely unaware of where the conversation is going. Cheeks hinting his signature pink, gaze shamefully averts at the question. Knotted stomach doesn't agree with the alcohol in it, the openness in Gundham's gaze feeling... misplaced. It's not meant for this atmosphere. For the taste of hard liquor tainting Kaz's tongue. The nausea swimming in his stomach. The nerves pounding against his chest. It's too loving. Too REAL.

❝ Y-Yeah... Yeah, I do. ❞ Kaz mutters, voice breaking as his hand slides across the counter without his consent. Tentatively resting beside Gundham's glass, nails have been scrubbed clean of the black and pink patterned polish he'd decorated them with earlier. It's a shame; he had seemed so proud of it this morning. Until overhearing some judgmental peers urged the mechanic to hastily remove it in the bathroom a few hours later. Fingers inch a bit closer to Gundham, Kaz finally sparing him an uncertain look, before a small but sincere smile tugs at his lips. Loving as ever, even if Kaz can't fight the way his stomach is doing somersaults. 「 ☆ 」

@not-bcring moved for new editor (X)

When Kazuichi had suggested they go out for drinks, Gundham had hardly thought anything of it. Why would he? It was a common mortal pastime to go out drinking at one bar or another on the weekends, and Kazuichi was known to enjoy more boisterous events from time to time, so the idea for them to head out as the night hour approached made perfect sense. What didn't make sense, however, is how much Kazuichi seemed to hate drinking, if how he grimaced at his shot as it went down was anything to go by. Sure, one could enjoy a drink and still have a moment of distaste at first, but this seemed...different. Like Kaz was forcing himself to keep it down.

Ordering a shot of cinnamon whiskey for himself, Gundham also grimaced as he downed his, but it soon turned into a welcome burn as the cinnamon warmed him from within. "I must admit, I figured you would order some horrible fruit flavored concoction that would rival your hair in vibrancy, not share my taste for liquid fire." Hm...now that he was saying it out loud, he had a feeling he knew what was going on...

"...Kazuichi, I have known you for quite some time now, have seen parts of you no one else has, and given the same of myself turn. You hold my entire heart in your hands, will you allow me to do the same with your own?" Where he was going with this wasn't entirely clear, but the love in his eyes was, idle fingers fiddling with his now empty shot glass atop the bar as he smiled softly at his boyfriend. "Do you trust me, my love?"

[not-bcring]

✩ 「 @the-ultimate-muses​ 」 ✩ - Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」 Strangely, Kazuichi’s fear only grew at the sight of Fuyuhiko. A learned blame gnawing at his gut, ripping him apart from the inside out like a rabid animal. Assisted by the echoing thoughts- no, certainties in his mind. Telling him that now he’s caused an issue for Fuyu. Confusing as it is that the Yakuza isn’t walking away from a fight he has no obligation to partake in. Dragged the other man into danger because of how pathetic he is. If any harm comes to Fuyuhiko, it’ll be harm that should have befallen HIM instead. Unable to sidestep guilt of ANY kind, Kaz’s wish that Fuyu hadn’t shown up— of course someone showed up, with how loudly he’d been crying; idiot —sends a fresh pang of chest-tightening disgust, Kazuichi silently admonishing himself for being so ungrateful.

None of this would be happening if he’d just shut up and accepted his punishment. Even if he didn’t know why… Honestly, it’s not like it matters. They all boil down to the same reason in the end. Him.

It’s a quick fight. Embarrassingly-quick for the aggressor. Honestly, Kazuichi doesn’t see most of it. Instinctively shutting his eyes at the first kick, he can’t bring himself to even attempt at opening them as the scene unfolds unseen. Flinching at each pained grunt and harmful impact, hands tug down his beanie in a white-knuckle grip as he ducks his head. Back slumps against the wall, using it to offer relief to his weak legs. At least it sounds like Fuyu is winning... heavily winning, if the aggressor's curses are any indication. What sounds like a body hitting the ground catches Kaz's attention— if the opponent is already there, that SHOULDN'T happen —eyes snapping open in time to see the larger man scrambling away.

Chest still heaving from labored breaths, panicked gaze snaps down to Fuyuhiko. The other man doesn't seem grievously injured... He's laughing anyway. Swallowing thickly, a weak smile hints Kaz's face, relief causing his entire body to shake as he fights to stay upright. Exhaustion pulling at his core now that the adrenaline is starting to fade into pure nausea, he pushes away from the wall to take a few unsteady steps forward. Relieved smile only lasting a second before a more natural grimace takes its place. Fuyu might not have gotten as roughed up as Kaz did, but it's clear he didn't leave the fight unscathed.

A fight he shouldn't have been in at all.

Hurrying over, stumbling in his haste, he helps Fuyuhiko up before he can think better of it. Touching the Ultimate Yakuza unprompted never ends well for anyone, but that tidbit is forgotten as surprisingly-careful hands guide the shorter man back onto his feet. Hands that linger even after the deed is done, hovering close-by as if afraid of Fuyu falling over. ❝ Yeah, but I sure as shit didn't help calm him down... ❞ Kaz mutters, being told that he really didn't do anything somehow sounding like a lie when it comes from someone else. If he wasn't such a sniveling coward, things never would have escalated. The least he can do is admit that.

Actually no, the least he can do is realize that— ❝ Shit! You're bleeding. ❞ Kaz yelps, a fresh wave of hot tears brimming in his eyes as he nervously wrings his hands, ❝ Oh FUCK. Dude. Shit, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean t— Shit. Okay, um. ❞ Calm down. Fucking calm down. Sucking in an unsteady breath, he then shakes his head for good measure, as if trying to forcibly eject the static threatening to take over. ❝ Here, lemme just- take care of that for you. As thanks for getting your ass beat on my behalf. Not that you got your ass beat... Just your head. ❞ Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Groaning and rolling his eyes, he gives his braid a frustrated tug. Wincing at the habit, Kaz averts his eyes and awkwardly adds, ❝ Don't worry, I'm a lot better at dealing with head wounds than I am at talking... ❞

He's had plenty of practice. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

from-across-the-sheets​:

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「 ☆ 」   Having Gundham lunging at him, pinning him down with an unrestrained fervor, probably shouldn’t elicit such excitement from Kazuichi. A dangerous creature unmatched by any Kaz has come across, it’d be so simple for the halfblood to tear him to shreds without so much as breaking a sweat. Yet, Kaz can’t think of any other time in his life when he’s been THIS impatient, nor does he think he’ll ever come across one. Not even the opportunity to build a rocket, his long-awaited dream, could make his skin BUZZ the way it does right now. 

And FUCK, does Kaz love it.

Feeling as if his very nerves are on fire, an encompassing inferno that makes it difficult to breathe, Kaz can only imagine how Gundham must feel. Unsure whether it’s the affect of being in such close proximity to a being of lust or if he’s just THIS weak for Gundham ( no matter what he may be ) Kazuichi can’t bring himself to care where these overwhelming sensations come from. Knowing that he wants to FEEL them, regardless. Gundham’s face nuzzled into his neck, the tender gesture soon broken by teeth sinking into skin, sends a shock through Kaz’s body that near-makes him dizzy. Crying out at the first mark, back arches and fingers cling harder to Gundham’s body, a shaky   ❝  FUCK...  ❞  breaking past panting lips.

Once that word is out, the floodgates are opened, mewls of pleasure rushing out of Kazuichi like a rampaging river. Shamelessly moaning with each bite against his sweat-slicked skin, every release of Gundham’s animalistic urges only spurs on Kazuichi’s. Feeling himself slipping further into a desperation to surrender, to be marked- CLAIMED, by the only person Kaz has trusted enough to show this level of vulnerability to. No soul, mortal or otherwise, has experienced Kaz’s body the way Gundham has. And no one else ever will. Regardless of how long this arrangement lasts, Kaz knows this is all he wants. 

Gundham is all he wants. 

Marked by his lover, growls are met with pleas of Gundham’s name. One cry is broken when Gundham rolls against Kaz’s hips, breath stolen from his lungs with a sharp gasp.  ❝  Sh-Shit...  ❞  Kaz hisses, all eloquence lost ( not that he had any to begin with ) as impatience burns uncomfortably within his gut. While the demon whines, the mortal growls like a caged animal, fumbling for Gundham’s pants as if they are the bars keeping him contained. Nothing but desire and instincts driving him forward, Kazuichi is barely aware of what he’s saying, words breathlessly panted as he struggles to free his long-awaited prize.  ❝  And THIS is mine— All mine... Just for me. ❞

Gundham doesn’t need anyone else. Doesn’t want anyone else… With that thought, Kaz gives a final tug at the clothes daring to hide the dick he’s laid claim to. Finally freed from its restrictions, as Gundham’s cock meets the tension-thick air, Kazuichi moans in a trembling voice, ❝ Oh fuck- PLEASE… ❞ 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

Looming over his boyfriend in such a way that might be described as "casually menacing", trying his very best to fight a smile off his face, Gundham had one hand poised in his pocket as if ready to give something to his boyfriend, but what exactly remained to be seen. "Kazuichi...may I offer you my fastest dark deva in these trying times?" With a menacing pause after Kaz's name, now no longer able to fight his smile, the breeder pulled his hand from his pocket to reveal said deva, Cham-P looking to Kaz with every ounce of happiness he was capable of holding in his fuzzy little body.

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」    Today sucks. But the worst part is, it sucks in a way that feels stupid to be upset about. Kazuichi can’t pin it down to any big thing, as far as he knows. Never mind what is often nagging beneath the surface; anxiety and fears fueled by a mixture of trauma and genetics. Merely a bunch of little things that alone wouldn’t be cause for a breakdown. But together, one inconvenience after another on a day when his stomach is already feeling a bit iller than usual? It’s enough to make him feel like crying. Which is a gross over-exaggeration because, as he knows, there’s nothing to REALLY be upset about.

Doesn’t stop him from being upset though.

Unable to hide it even behind false, strained smiles and awkward excuses for why he felt like staying in the dorm instead of going out ( insisting that Gundham join their friends in his absence ) , he shouldn’t be surprised that Gundham could tell something was wrong. Yet he still is, wide eyes and messy hair meeting the breeder as Kaz sticks his head out of the pile of blankets he’d planned on spending the night hidden in.

Confused by Gundham’s demeanor, as well as him having come to the dorm instead of taking Kaz’s advice ( another thing that should have been obvious to the crestfallen mechanic ) , Kazuichi untangles himself from his blanket nest and sits upright on the bed. Quizzical and tad nervous gaze flits from Gundham’s face to his hidden hand, Kaz not realizing he was holding his breath until it’s released with a sputtered laugh at the reveal. Slightly shaky but still sincere, the sound is a welcome change of pace. Lacing his words as Kazuichi reaches out his hands to accept the offered Deva.

❝  Pfffft— Okay, there’s no way that’s true…  ❞  Kazuichi laughs, tears beading in the corner of his eyes as he feels the faint hold he had on himself starting to crumble. Unsure why, Kaz ignores the fogginess creeping into his gaze, hoping it’ll be blamed on his laughter and not the confusing tightness in his chest. A tightness that has started to wane since Gundham’s arrival. Looking at Cham-P, he gingerly pets the hamster and chuckles,  ❝  Are you really telling me this guy is the quickest one you’ve got?  ❞

It’s difficult to imagine the happy hamster moving fast at all, let alone the fastest.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

At first, Gundham had walked into Kazuichi's workshop like it was a normal day, attention more on the phone in his hand, busy scrolling through a series of restaurant reviews in an effort to figure out what they wanted for dinner that night. "Kazuichi, the small chef will not be leading the ritual of nourishment this eve, do you-"

Stopping quick as he looked up from his phone, Gundham was met with something that unfortunately still fit the criteria of normal when it came to his boyfriend. "What are you doing?" A stupid question really, he could see that Kaz was about to bind a wound with duct tape of all things he was simply too flabbergasted to even process such a thing. "Put that down!" Using the same tone one might scold a misbehaving puppy with, Gundham's phone was promptly shoved into his pocket as he rushed to the mechanic's side in a bit of a panic. "How did this happen? Why are you using tape?!" Leave it to Kazuichi to knock the "overlord" right out of him. //yeah i had to lmao

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars​ 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Sometimes Gundham really has the shittiest timing… As soon as he heard his boyfriend’s voice, Kazuichi knew there was going to be an issue with his life-hack first-aid. The smart thing to do would be to drop the roll of duct tape. Unfortunately, he already had the end stuck to the back of his hand, the mechanic prepped to start wrapping it tautly around his injured palm as if it were gauze. Dropping the roll wouldn’t have hidden his intentions, the damning evidence bound to simply swing from his hand in a surprising show of strength. There’s a reason he uses this tape.

Besides, the thought never crosses Kaz’s mind anyway. No thoughts do, aside from an initial  ❛ Oh shit.  ❜  while he freezes like a kid caught with their hand in a cookie jar. As if keeping completely still would somehow hide him from Gundham’s keen sight. Obviously that doesn’t work, Kaz haphazardly letting go of the tape when commanded, entire body jolting with a start. Not out of fear but an expected unease annoyance at the no-doubt embarrassing troublesome conversation this was going to be. Whenever Gundham is frazzled, it’s bound to be a whole thing.

Especially when Kaz is involved.

Like Kazuichi predicted, the duct tape comically hangs off his hand, the mechanic growling irritably as he rips it off before dropping it to the ground with a bit more sass to the action than necessary. Rolling his eyes with the motion, heated cheeks betray his true shame at being caught.  ❝  Because I didn’t wanna get blood everywhere.  ❞  He retorts with a huff, as if the answer is obvious. Irritably motioning at his wounded palm with his free hand, eyes are focused on it and the large cut slanted across it. Even his blood is easier to look at than Gundham right now.

❝  I was working when my hand barely slipped but I still got this stupid cut and of course it’s right on my fucking palm so holding tools is gonna be a literal pain—  ❞  He complains, not sure if he’s looking for sympathy or just needs to vent. Either way, he’s definitely avoiding the topic of tape.  ❝  —and I didn’t wanna bleed on anything so I figured I’d, y’know— … cover it up.  ❞  Shrugging as if he’s not pointedly looking to the side, cheeks aflame and voice cracking, he hastily adds,  ❝  Usually I’d put a rag or somethin’ over it but they’re all dirty right now, so that’d just be stupid.  ❞

Yeah. That’s the only thing that would be stupid.

❝  It’s really not a big deal, Gunnie. I do this kinda thing all the time.  ❞  He huffs, immediately deciding that probably wasn’t the best thing to admit. Fuck.  ❝  It works.  ❞  He adds, a bit more defensively than intended. Sure hurts like a son of a bitch to get off though… But at least duct tape lets him keep working instead of wasting time with a stupid cut. His dad taught him that trick.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

It was something Gundham never thought he would get to experience, waking up next to someone he could say he loved on a daily basis, so used to fleeting flings or simply waking up alone. He found that he liked sleep more when sharing it with another, the comfort of another person and soothing warmth that came from another body lulling him in ways he never thought possible. Waking up was still difficult, but now it stemmed from wanting to cuddle just a moment longer instead of trying to drag as much sleep as he could out of any given morning.

Gundham couldn't help but smile now as he eyed Kazuichi from across the room, the breeder just having pulled himself out of bed to sit at it's edge, still undressed with his hair mussed and face sporting a bit of scruff as he took in his equally disheveled boyfriend. Rising from the bed with first a stretch and a tried huff, Gundham followed Kazuichi as he made his way into the bathroom, pulling the hairbrush from his lover's hand as he placed a kiss to his crown. "Allow me to assist you, love. I fear this mess will never be tamed otherwise." A playful jab as careful fingers unwound the mechanic's small braid with his free hand, the digits then carding through the pink locks to lessen the snarls for the brush. "Did you sleep well?" //wait i thought of something cute too,,,,,,,

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi didn’t ever think he’d enjoy waking up—

Internally wincing at how unintentionally-morbid that observation sounds, he tries again. He didn’t think waking up would be… something to look forward to. Better, but still pretty weird if he dwells on the wording. If only because opening his eyes means being greeted with the sight of Gundham beside him. Sometimes that isn’t the case, whenever the breeder’s work demands him to rise earlier. But Kaz still sees the indent of where Gundham USED to be. Sees himself surrounded by his boyfriend’s possessions. His scent lingering on the shirt Kaz stole to wear to bed. Even when Gundham isn’t there, he’s still there…

It’s comforting. 

Stretching with a whine, Kaz feels his back pop in a way that both offers relief and startles him. Yelping despite not being injured, nerves quickly settle with a soft exhale and a hand rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Hardly a graceful riser, Kazuichi’s demeanor has notably grown sluggish since sharing Gundham’s bed. Normally one to rush about in the morning, as if expecting to be punished for being late to the act of simply EXISTING, that habit had been broken thanks to his reluctance to leave Gundham’s arms. True, there’s still plenty to do in the day. And that feeling of wasting time does occasionally rear it’s ugly head… but if laying about is wasteful, there’s no one else he’d rather waste that time with.

Going to the bathroom on autopilot, he doesn’t even notice Gundham is behind him until the hairbrush is taken from his hand. Blinking back his surprise, he emits a soft laugh at the kiss to his head, the mechanic in a more-relaxed state than anyone has witnessed from him. Or anyone else ever will.  ❝  Hey— what you call a mess, I call style…  ❞  He playfully retorts, offering no resistance as Gundham’s fingers card through his tangled hair. Leaning INTO the touch for a moment before letting Gundham go back to tending to his knots, eyes shut with a pleased hum, Kaz still trying to talk shit through the contented sound,  ❝  I could walk outta this room right now and be good to go…  ❞  Says the man who always hides his ‘ stylish ’ hair underneath a beanie.

Looking at Gundham in the mirror, cheeks flush with pink at the domestic sight reflected. His boyfriend brushing his hair, both of them still draped in the cozy dishevel of sleep. Smiling far more dorkily than he’d like, Kaz doesn’t even notice his lovestruck expression, too focused on the other man.  ❝  … Huh?  ❞  Missing the question at first, color in his face grows, Kaz hastily answering through an embarrassed laugh,  ❝  O-Oh, yeah— Heh, I slept pretty good.  ❞  Slept pretty damn great.

❝  Could have had a few more hours though.  ❞  He adds, stifling another yawn before flashing a playful grin at Gundham,  ❝ You don’t exactly make it easy to get outta bed, y’know.  ❞     「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

Breaking the silence that had been blanketing the room for quite some time now, Gundham sat up where he had been reclined on their bed, having been typing away on his blog since he sat down a few hours earlier. Whatever he had to say must have been important to pause his work...right?

"Kazuichi? Have you ever heard of 'updog'?" //i saw the comic and i Had To

-  ✩   「   @from-across-the-stars​​   」   ✩

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi had been tinkering away on a rather large engine— which been HELL to drag it into their room —sitting on the floor, tools scattered in an array of organized chaos. The silence was oddly comfortable, as most things are with Gundham. Disturbed only by the noise of Kaz’s tools or the breeder’s typing... as well as an occasional muttered curse when Kazuichi’s hands slipped, new bruises bound to join the ones already decorating the mechanic.

Surprised by Gundham's steady typing abruptly cutting off into nothing, the shifting in the bed breaking the pattern of noise that had taken hold of the air, Kaz looks in the others direction. While most would be skeptical of this claim, if the question had happened during a time when Kaz hadn’t been deep in the clutches of work, mind slipped into a comfortable haze and body moving mainly on its own, then he wouldn’t have fallen so easily for such a ploy. Unfortunately for him, he speaks before his brain has a chance to fully awaken. Instinctively wanting to respond to Gundham’s question, he foolishly asks,  ❝  What’s updog?  ❞

...

No.

Oh no.

Oh God please NO.  

❝  Don’t say it! Don’t you fucking SAY IT!  ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

🥃// for kaz, gun will do one with him owo

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi has drank before. Probably more than he should and definitely starting younger than he should have been… but he still could never get the hang of it. Apparently, practice does not make perfect sometimes. From what he’s heard and seen, it’s supposed to be enjoyable. Yeah, there are downsides to it. Like the massive fucking hangovers that make Kaz feel as if someone’s taken a wrench to his skull. But before the inevitable shittiness, he’s supposed to have FUN.

Emphasis on ‘ supposed to ’.

Taking hold of the shot he’d ordered on reflex, Kazuichi’s stomach already twists in anticipation of the horrid taste and sensation. He can’t stand these fucking things… Who had the grand idea to make something that HURTS to drink? Thankfully the pain usually numbs once he’s gotten a few more in him. He’s found a tried-and-true method of surviving going out for a drink. Slam down as many as he can, power through how overly-emotional ( even by HIS standards ) and stupid he gets when plastered, and trust in the blackout that will come soon enough. As uncomfortable as Kaz is with the idea of not remembering large chunks of the evening, it’s still preferable to being aware when he’s getting shit from others…

Although, he doesn’t have to worry about that this time, huh? Gundham isn’t the type to ridicule him for what a mess he becomes when drunk. Or to dare him to do dumb or dangerous things when he’s teetering on the edge between impulsive and unintentionally-suicidal. There’s probably no need to drown himself in drinks just to make it through the night without wanting to crawl into a hole and cry himself to sleep. Or at least, without having to remember that feeling. Kaz doesn’t doubt that every drinking binge he’s been a part of had its rock-bottom moments. That’s just a part of it. Just as integral as the liquid in his glass. Deceptively-small for the punch it’s going to pack, Kaz tenses as he looks at it with distaste.

Fuck it. Might as well get started… Whether he’s going to throw up tomorrow morning or not, he still needs to stomach at least a few of these to keep from seeming like a loser.

Downing the shot in a practiced motion, body stiffens as soon as the taste hits his tongue and is forced down his throat. Muscles tensed as he swallows it with a barely-contained grimace, shot glass is hastily slammed down on the surface in front of him in a mimicry of what he’s witnessed from others. Throat burning from what he requested, Kaz coughs into his fist, knowing the discomfort is something he’ll have to deal with until he’s gotten used to the stinging again. How long has it been since he’s gone out for a STRONG drink? Honestly, he hasn’t dealt with this since being accepted into Hope’s Peak and distancing himself from his former so-called-friends. Not that they even tried to keep in touch.

His dad’s stash doesn’t have quite as potent of a burn— and Kaz is careful not to overdue it around him anyway —so it’s been a while since Kazuichi has coughed like this. Whatever. He got it down and kept it down. Which is a victory in itself with how mercilessly his stomach has been churning since it was first suggested that they go out for a drink. Internally chastising himself for being such a bitch— it’s just a bit of alcohol… with Gundham; how bad could a drunk Gundham possibly be? —Kaz runs a hand through his hair, ignoring how uneasily his drink has settled in his gut, and asks Gundham with a glance that he hopes doesn’t look as uneasy as he feels,  ❝  You ready for another one?  ❞     「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

from-across-the-stars​:

@not-bcring cont. from (X)

Gundham was back on edge the instant he heard footsteps approaching him, feeling momentarily dizzy from the resurgences of adrenaline that had yet to fully dissipate. Upon seeing it was Kazuichi, he only relaxed somewhat, brain still on edge from the previous attack. “What do you want, fool. Come to finish me off in my weakened state?” He was too tried to truly work up a banter, his throbbing head and straining ribs a very insistent reminder of this. 

He’s surprised when the mechanic offers his words of concern, it flashing across his face clear as day in the form of wide eyes before he was able to stop it. He…isn’t sure how to respond. Luckily, the other’s next sentence is an easier one to muster a response to, falling back into their old rhythm of antagonism. “…Yes, it was. How fortunate you were able to avoid such a thing, but still show up to the scene so quickly in the wake of the aftermath…” He doesn’t actually have proof for his accusation, but he makes it all the same, not sure what else to do.

At the tactless mention of his appearance though, Gundham couldn’t help but laugh, a choked thing that ends up more a snort with the pain in his ribs, but a laugh none the less. “What an astute observation, sharp toothed one. I surely could not have come to such a conclusion myself.” His words may sound harsh, but there’s a smile now, though a small thing now marred by the cut on his lip. He couldn’t help it, it was all just so ridiculous. 

Though it seemed Kazuichi wasn’t done with his surprises, offering to help someone he had deemed his rival so many times before. Gundham almost wanted to say no, to feign a higher level of wellbeing and be one his way, but he really doesn’t have any reason to do that beyond his own pride. With how badly his body hurt, perhaps a helping had wouldn’t be so bad, even if it was from someone who seemed insistent on hating him…

“If…that is a service you are willing to lend, then I am in no position to decline…” He said with a slight bow of his head in thanks, taking just a moment to hesitate before beginning to walk in the direction of the dorms. It was something that became increasingly more difficult the more steps he took, the slow fading adrenaline no longer hiding just how badly everything hurt. He couldn’t help but wonder if Kazuichi could hear him wheezing with each breath, ribs no doubt bruised along with his battered knuckled and face. 

「 ☆ 」   As soon as Gundham opens his mouth, Kazuichi considers taking backing everything. Wishes that he COULD. If someone appeared in front of him, offered the chance to turn back time and prevent him from showing himself to the battered and kinda bitchy man in front of him, he’d do it in a heartbeat... Okay, no. He wouldn’t. But it’d be tempting as Hell for a few minutes. It’s hard to want to help someone who wastes no chance to call him a fool... or call him out on his cowardice with a thinly-veiled statement. Uncomfortably shifting in place, he rubs the back of his neck and averts his gaze, not sure how to respond so— deciding not to.

It’s not like it matters anyway... He’s offering help NOW. Even if part of Kazuichi is certain he’ll hate himself for it later. But not nearly as much as he’d hate himself for NOT doing it, so— looks like he’s screwed either way. Awesome. Just what he’d expect from getting mixed up with Gundham Tanaka. Still, the sourness of the situation is slightly helped by the sound of Gundham’s laugh; Kazuichi looking over— confusedly blinking for a moment, warily narrowing his eyes as if wondering if he should be offended at being the butt of the joke —before he relaxes and offers a small sputter himself, shoulders shaking and hands readjusting his beanie as he marvels at how STRANGE this all is. Who’d have thunk he’d be standing out here, late as fuck at night, with his sworn enemy beaten to Hell.... and be offering to help him.

Fuck... People weren’t kidding when they said strange things happened at Hope’s Peak.

With his temporary truce accepted, Kaz awkwardly fidgets in place for a bit as Gundham begins his labored trek— needing a moment to mentally prepare for whatever uncomfortable Hell he’s gotten himself into —before he quickly catches up with his peer. Falling into pace beside Gundham, he can’t help but notice the others weakened state even more now that he’s beside him. His breathing sounds wretched, Kazuichi marveling at how Gundham is still capable of walking. Let alone walking without complaining. If the roles were reversed, Kazuichi is sure he’d be whining the entire way. Probably asking for someone to carry him. Or at least let him lean on their shoul—

Quickly averting his gaze, clammy hands shoved in his pockets and shoulders tense, Kazuichi wracks his brain for something to fill the stifling air between them. Something aside from Gundham’s breathing. ❝ That, uh— That was pretty impressive… Taking on three guys at once. ❞ He lamely begins, realizing too late that he hadn’t been around to witness the fight. Or so he claimed. Waving his hands in front of himself as if to say ‘wait, wait- hold on a second!’ he hastily adds, ❝ I saw some guys running past before I found you! So I just, y’know— put two and two together and figured…. ❞ Trailing off, he rubs the back of his neck and looks to the side again, briefly glancing at Gundham through the corner of his eye, ❝ Anyway…. Yeah. You’re a really tough guy. ❞

❝ I mean— you look kinda scary. So I guess that makes sense, but… I dunno, sometimes guys aren’t as tough as they look. ❞ Shrugging and pointedly looking away again, Kazuichi finds himself wishing that he’d said anything else. It’s just… weird. Talking about stuff like that. Mentioning it around another guy; around Gundham. It’s not a line of conversation he’s eager to go down… yet it’s still better than what happens next.

Possessed by some strange force— maybe Gundham’s touch put a curse on him, or maybe it’s just hearing that damn wheezing —Kazuichi looks over at Gundham and abruptly asks, weakly motioning at his battered body, ❝ Hey, you wanna borrow my shoulder or something? ❞ Well that’s the weirdest way he could have worded it. Aside from maybe ‘wanna put your weight onto me and see if I can handle it?’ but Kaz doesn’t even want to give that one the courtesy of a second thought. ❝ You seem like you’re having some trouble… And look- I definitely understand not wanting to be seen having to lean on someone for support but- there’s no one else around, so….. ❞

Kazuichi might not be ‘beat three guys at once’ levels of strong… but he’s strong enough to support a classmate.

Even if he hates the guy’s guts. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

Bursting into the mechanic's shop in the usual fashion, Gundham's voice bounced off the walls as he shouted, not really in greeting, but it may as well be with him. "Behold, sharp-toothed mortal! The latest addition into the Tanaka empire!" One cupped hand comes to a stop just in front of Kazuichi's face, a chameleon of all things now staring at him with ever shifting eyes before it slowly reached out a little hand to try and grab at the mechanic's braid as if to climb it.

"The gods have yet to bestow a title to this great beast, but surely it will be one befitting a creature of such a high power level!" No need to mention the reason the little thing had yet to be named was because Gundham had come to Kazuichi immediately after he got it.... "Tremble before Her might! For she posses an ability like no other!" Looking around quickly as if searching for something, Gundham's eyes landed on possibly the smallest wrench he had ever seen sitting on Kazuichi's workbench. Perfect!

Snatching it up, he very carefully held it out to the chameleon, the little hand not latched to the mechanic's hair taking hold of it, looking as if it was about to use it now. The whole thing was such an amusing and endearing sight that it brought a genuine smile to Gundham's face in a rare moment of softness that he allowed to be seen.

"Is she not the most amazing beast you have ever seen?" His tone was much quieter than before, as if it was a genuine question instead of a boast. A light blush dusted the breeder's cheeks now as he locked eyes with the mechanic, only for his gaze to dart away after just a single second from embarrassment. //listen i just. i really liked the chameleon thing lmao

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars​ 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」     ❝  FUCK!  ❞  Jolting at the sudden intrusion to his shop, Kaz drops the heavy toolbox he’d been carrying to the workbench, stumbling back a few steps to avoid his feet getting hit by the scattered tools. While his boots do provide some protection from accidents, he still prefers not to test his luck. Especially since it’s been known to be pretty shitty. Exhaling with relief when he escapes the disaster unharmed, Kaz spins on his heel to face Gundham, bristled like an aggravated cat. Fully intending to lightly bitch at the breeder for coming in with such overwhelming energy, all snappish words die in his throat.

Kazuichi would never admit that the other man’s genuine enthusiasm, that unmistakable shine in Gundham’s eyes that leaked into his very tone, had slaughtered his snippiness. Kaz prefers to think it’s the chameleon shoved at him who snatched his breath away, eyes wide with awe he feels deep inside his chest… Never mind that his gaze had been focused on Gundham’s face, completely missing the reptile for a breath, before pink hues quickly snapped to it instead, jostled from his shock by the feeling of a tiny hand holding his braid.

Rescued by the funny creature, Kaz’s troublesome and confusing second of breathless focus shifts from Gundham to the chameleon, mouth slightly agape and eyes glossed over with complete fascination. Sparkling within their pink depths, they study the slow movement’s, the oddly-shaped hand holding his hair, and how the other proudly wields a wrench as if ready to assist Kaz in his mechanical endeavors. It’s nothing short of AMAZING and Gundham echoes Kazuichi’s thoughts perfectly.

Unknowingly smiling like a dork, completely at ease in a way that’s unheard of for the mechanic— especially in the breeder’s company; at least, that used to be the case —gaze meets Gundham’s for only a moment, but it’s enough. A second of excitement tampering down into a quiet contemplation, a confusion at Gundham’s shift in tone. In how… gentle it sounded. Almost unsure- or maybe… hopeful. Searching for validation confirmation, a mutual understanding that what they were witnessing— however small or unimportant to others —was indeed, amazing. For a moment- Kaz saw a smile.

Genuine and breathtaking… and all Kazuichi could do was look at it for as long as he was allowed. Which was far too fleeting, Kaz’s enraptured gaze darting back to the chameleon as soon as he locked eyes with Gundham. Face heating up uncomfortably, feeling as if his entire body is roasting from embarrassment in his jumpsuit, Kaz answers in a cracking voice,  ❝  Y-Yeah, she’s awesome…  ❞  Clearing his throat, and giving himself a beat to calm his strangely-skipping heart, he tries again, words managing to come more strongly,  ❝  Seriously, she’s amazing. I’ve never seen a chameleon in person before but I’ve always thought they were cool… ❞

The more he talks, the easier it becomes, Kazuichi’s previous excitement returning. Beaming at the chameleon, Kaz looks as enthused as a kid in a candy shop,  ❝  I mean— How could you not think she’s fuckin’ awesome?? Look at her!  ❞  As if aiming to prove Kaz’s point, the hand holding his braid slowly changes pink, drifting up the chameleon’s body.  ❝  She’s holding a wrench!  ❞  Feeling no shame in his enthusiasm— if anyone can understand his elation, it should be Gundham —he continues through a laugh,  ❝  She’s like my own little assistant! I mean- not mine, ‘cause she’s yours but… y’know what I mean.  ❞  

A hand reaches a finger toward her, before hesitating as Kaz looks questioningly at Gundham, a hint of uncertainty showing in his expression.  ❝  Is it alright if I pet her? Would she like that? ❞ Not concerned for himself but for the chameleon’s comfort, he anxiously waits for permission.   「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

⌛ //gundham and kaz :)

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

✩   「 Meme  」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Kaz wakes up the same way he always does. Alone after a pitiful night of attempted sleep, having spent it tossing and turning in an unfamiliar bed. Despite being exhausted from unpacking ( Hope’s Peak had allowed students to arrive a day early to get settled before class started and Kaz had snatched the opportunity, eager to get out of his house ) , anxiety had mercilessly taken hold of his stomach, sinking its claws in deeply.

Grimacing as he brushes his teeth, mouth still lingers with the taste of bile from having thrown up in the middle of the night like a nervous dog. Replacing it with a heavy dose of mint toothpaste and mouthwash— he is NOT meeting his classmates with vomit breath —Kaz furiously splashes some water onto his face. Shakily exhaling as he wipes it with a towel, he spares one more lingering look at his reflection… Growling, he throws his dampened towel at the nervous-looking man in the mirror. Fuck it. There’s nothing he can do about that aside from pray the trembling in his shoulders ceases by the time he makes it to the classroom.

Grabbing his backpack and rushing out the door, Kazuichi doesn’t even think to grab a snack from stash he’d taken from home, after his dad had insisted under threat of being insulted if Kaz refused. So accustomed to skipping breakfast in the interest of prolonging food, the ache in his stomach fades into a familiar numbness with little effort. Although it doesn’t help the shakiness in his hands— Kaz quickly grabbing the straps of his bag in a death-grip to hide this —nor does it aid his mind in unscrambling itself. Nerves making his skin feel itchy, Kaz rushes down the hallways of various buildings, taking several wrong turns along the way. Anxiety spiking with each room he passes, he finally teaches the right one after what feels like a lifetime of frantic wandering.

Thankfully, he’s not late. But there are several students already scattered around inside, the air filled with an overwhelming amount of excited talking. Lingering outside the closed door, Kaz peeks through the window, breathing more labored than it should be even with all the running around he’d done. Looking at all the people within, Kaz somehow feels out of place. As if that could be possible with such strange students. Yet it hits him like a punch to the already-churning gut. A chill running through his blood as he wonders, yet again, what he’s even DOING here.

He doesn’t belong here… He shouldn’t be here. He knows it and soon everyone in there will too. They’re gonna look at him, with his cheap jumpsuit and his dumb hair ( hands anxiously pull down his beanie, trying to hide the messily-cut locks ) and his weird teeth and his stupid mundane talent— Without realizing it, Kaz begins to slowly back away from the door. It starts as only a few steps, hesitant to run from the best opportunity life has seen fit to throw his way. A promise for a better future practically placed in his hands. All he needs to do for it to be a reality is grab onto it.

And not screw it up.

Kaz turns and starts to run away before that can happen—

But he doesn’t get far before he bumps into an unexpected obstacle. Barely able to make it a few steps, Kaz grunts as he slams into something face-first, stumbling backward from the unexpected force.  ❝  What the fu—  ❞  Kazuichi begins, words fading as he shakes his head to return to reality. Repositioning his falling beanie, wide-eyes slowly trail upward to study what he ran into… Oh shit. Met with one of the scariest looking dudes Kaz has come across— which is saying something —he quickly staggers back a few more feet, his back bumping into the classroom door he had been trying to avoid. Caught between a rock and a hard place, Kaz does the first and only thing that comes to mind.

He snaps at the threat to try and make himself seem like more of one. Foolish as someone might have to be to think the smaller man has ANY chance against the looming stranger, it’s the only defense Kazuichi has while his exit is blocked.  ❝  H-Hey! Watch where you’re goin’, dumbass!  ❞  Kaz barks with a cracking voice, despite him having been the one to bump into the other man. Bristling like a cornered animal, back tellingly pressed against the door, Kazuichi wonders if the intimidating man can sense how rapidly the mechanic’s heart is beating…

He seems like the type.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

「 ☆ 」 It takes a few breaths for Bill's words to break through. Shuddering, sobbing, shame-filled breaths that shake Kazuichi to his core. Choking on his own apologies, lathered with terrified tears and the certainty he's screwed up the best friendship he's ever managed to cultivate. With BILL, of all people. Not that it honestly ever crossed Kaz's mind how strange that is. He's been told to stop apologizing before. Not that it does much good, Kazuichi often digging in even harder in a misguided panic.

A real man doesn't apologize, after all. A sentiment that leaves Kaz lost when it comes to what he's supposed to DO to make amends whenever he messes up. Maybe he just can't. Maybe that's the lesson he's repeatedly failed to learn. That the best thing he can do is simply steel himself and take whatever comes to him. No sorries... No sobbing... Nothing but submission and the hope it'll eventually end. But that doesn't feel like something a ❛ man ❜ is meant to do either.

What do people want from him? To fight back? Would that FINALLY make everyone happy? ... No. No, that doesn't work either. It only ever makes others angrier. Then what the FUCK is he meant to do? Answers don't come this time either, Bill instead hitting him with something far more confusing... Reassurance.

Chest stutters and struggles, but attempts to steady its breathing. Wide eyes open to aim a bewildered, glossy gaze upon the other male; trembling hands lifting the edge of his beanie so it isn't obstructed. Akin to a haggard animal who had been certain a predator was about to sink its fangs in, only to be met with a far more unsettling mercy... He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do. So he settles for doing the unthinkable— He listens to what Bill says. Flinching with a sucked in breath through gritted teeth, eyes squeezing shut and body tensing... before he slowly, warily relaxes when the hand touches his shoulder.

With a drawn-out exhale, pink hues flow from Bill's hand to his face. Throat bobs in a thick swallow, Kaz having quieted. Unsure how much of it is a result of shock. Mouth tastes bitter, dry throat not aiding in his attempt to speak without a cracking voice. He fails. ❝ I... I— ... ❞ Another swallow, eyes lowering with a wince at how his voice barely manages to come. ❝ ... I wanna get out of here. I really don't want anyone else to see me like this. ❞ He doesn't know where he's asking to go. His dorm... Bill's... The nearest trash can so he can throw himself into it. ANY would work.

Wiping at his face, cheeks stained and eyes red-rimmed, he buries his face in his hands with a groan. He can already feel his eyes watering again. Words muffled as he adds, ❝ I just— Fuck, dude... I hate today. I— I really.... re-eally hate today.... ❞ 「 ☆ 」

Fucking hell. Bill had expected Kaz to react in a way that’s less than desirable, but this is a lot. At first, he just stares, watching Kazuichi break down with no clue how to respond. Then he realizes he has to do something if he doesn’t want it to get worse— and he definitely doesn’t want it to get worse.

“Stop apologizing, dipshit. Nobody’s mad.”

Annoyed, yeah, and uncomfortable, but not mad. Bill knows Kaz well enough to know he shouldn’t say that second part out loud.

“You’re fine. You hear me? I don’t know what all this is about, but you’re fine.”

It’s less dismissive than it would be were Kazuichi anyone else, but still not too vulnerable. A nagging little inkling in the back of Bill’s head says Kazuichi might really need vulnerable right now, but he’s not ready to offer it yet. The closest he’s comfortable getting is glancing around to make sure they’re alone and then putting a hand on Kaz’ shoulder.

“What’s your damage, man? Do you… shit, alright, do you need anything?”

Just to make him calm down, of course. Not because Bill cares.

[not-bcring]

✩     「   @from-across-the-stars​   」    ✩   -   Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Quietly listening as Gundham explains the inner workings of human souls, Kazuichi’s fingers slow to a stop on his puzzle box. Resting it on his lap, a finger lightly taps upon it, fidget increasing speed the longer Gundham speaks. Gaze flits curiously to the other man at the mention of being able to tell when one ‘ desires ’, eyes widening slightly before quickly lowering to the box. That’s... something to think about later. Not that it matters much NOW if Gundham knows how deeply Kaz desires him. Or how often. They’ve struck an understanding, beneficial to both of them. Gundham gets all the energy he needs and Kaz... Well, Kaz— ... Grimacing, he sets the box down beside him and tries not to think about it.

It’s hard to deny it any more, so Kaz figures he might as well stop trying. Internally. He’s still refusing to openly admit it. Even if he’s entwined in a friends-with-benefits situation with his best friend, who happens to be a guy ( and a demon, but that’s somehow of less importance ) and also can’t recall the last time he spent a night in his own dorm room, having moved in to Gundham’s shortly after the first time they— ... Anyway, he’s gay. 

But how obvious was it that Kaz wanted Gundham even BEFORE he came to that realization? It’s probably pathetic, how weak he gets thanks to the other man. Fuck, Gundham must think he’s— No. No, no, no. Stopping that train of thought right now. Certain that it’ll arise later, as these thoughts ALWAYS do, Kaz forces himself to focus on the most pressing one. Even if his mind struggles to latch onto another interesting tidbit, wondering if he’s been in the presence of any other supernatural creatures and simply hadn’t known it. That would explain the excess of violence in his life... Unless the people he knows just SUCK and didn’t need a demon to bring the worst out of them. Which honestly, is also very plausible.

Better to not think about that either, choosing to hope for demons to blame instead.

❝  O-Oh... Uh— No reason.  ❞  Kaz fumbles, yanking at his braid and refusing to look away from his lap,  ❝  I was just— ...  ❞  Sucking in a deep breath, he shakily releases it before shrugging with an awkward bark of a laugh,  ❝  Heh— It’s actually pretty stupid. Dunno why I even asked...  ❞  Glancing at Gundham, he can only make contact for a second before he looks down. Clutching his pants in a trembling grip, throat bobs with an uneasy swallow he can’t hide,  ❝  I already know I’m a bad person.  ❞  Blinking back tears, they sting in a blurred gaze, Kazuichi fighting to keep his voice from cracking,  ❝  I guess I was just wondering- exactly how shitty my soul is... That’s all.  ❞  

And if Gundham could see it... If he knows JUST how horrible Kaz is.

Or if he doesn’t realize what he’s entangled himself with.   「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

「 ☆ 」 Kazuichi knows that it won't help... Not really. It never does anything but offer temporary relief, followed by even greater desperation when the jitters once again claw at him. Shredding Kazuichi from the inside as SOMETHING feels like it's trying to get out. Not that he blames whatever anxious force is trying to escape. If he had the option, he'd tear himself to shreds just to get away too... In a way, he does. Just not in such a graphic manner. His PRIDE certainly hasn't survived the inner thrashing, Kazuichi literally on his knees begging for the lie of relief.

No wonder Fuyu can't fucking stand him.

Gasping in delight when Fuyuhiko actually surrenders to his pleas— the Yakuza really must want him to hurry up and leave —pink hues light up as bright as the grateful smile on Kazuichi's face, stars practically shining within like they used to around Sonia. Before Kaz decided that focusing all his manic, love-starved energy at her probably wasn't the best idea... It sucks not having an outlet ( or plausible deniability ) anymore, but even thinking of Sonia as an ❛ outlet ❜ makes Kaz feel scummy enough to accept this awkward emptiness as punishment for his actions.

Yelping as he's tugged closer, Kazuichi stiffens and closes his eyes as if expecting to be struck. When nothing happens— of course nothing did; Fuyu agreed to help him —he tentatively opens his eyes, fighting to quiet the unwitting tremble in his body. ❛ Calm down, calm down, calm down— ❜ Distracted by trying to steady his quickened breaths, Kaz doesn't fully register how close he now is to the other man.

❝ Sh-Shotgunning? Is that like— Like a threat or-? ❞ He asks before he can think better of it, voice cracking in a betrayal of how little his common sense is working at the moment. But one can hardly blame the skittish man for floundering when suddenly grabbed by someone who COULD easily end him at any moment. Not that Kaz believes Fuyu would... under normal circumstances. But shaken by withdrawals, by the shame of bothering the other into helping, by the unexpected yanking and eye contact— Oh. Oh fuck. Fuyu is actually really close, huh?

❛ Calm down, calm down, calm down— ❜ Chimes that same mantra, somehow even LESS successful for reasons Kaz doesn't want to dwell on. Face flushed with color, shoulders hunch as the mechanic attempts to shrink in on himself. Choking back whimpers, Kaz hastily averts his gaze, guilt gnawing at his stomach in an instinctive punishment for... everything. 「 ☆ 」

@not-bcring cont. from (X)

This right here? This was exactly why Fuyuhiko wouldn't give Kaz a cigarette, the blatant desperation on display only proving the unhealthy reliance the mechanic had on them. Fuyu saw it too much, felt it no matter how he wished he didn't, the need for even a small hit of nicotine to calm his nerves despite it only leading to the need for another and another and another.

"It won't fucking help, idiot. I give you even one puff off 'f this, and I'll only see you again for another within the hour. Deal with it, it might suck but it's better than these damn things." If only he could do the same, but here he was, placing the unlight cigarette between his lips as he fished for his lighter. "You don't fucking-" Cutting himself off as the mechanic fell to his knees, Fuyu could only roll his eyes at the display, his lighter flicking to life as it was pulled free from his pocket and brought to his face to light his smoke. "Will you get the fuck up? This puppy dog shit ain't gonna work on me." Despite the exasperation in his tone, there was a very clear flush to the yakuza's face that couldn't be blamed on the short flash of fire. He didn't know how Kaz managed to be this cute and pathetic at the same time, but damn if that sad pleading look in his eyes didn't make Fuyu's stomach do somersaults.

"Fucking- Fine, I'll share. But I'm not giving you a full hit. C'mere..." Pulling the mechanic closer by the front of his jumpsuit, Fuyu tried to ignore the way he had to stand on his toes just a bit in order to reach Kaz's face. "You know what shotgunning is?"