#⭒ ˙ ˖ ✧ — ˗ˏˋ ❝ ꜰᴀᴅɪɴɢ ɪɴᴛᴏ ʏᴇꜱᴛᴇʀᴅᴀʏ; ɴᴏᴛʜɪɴɢ ʙᴜᴛ ᴘʀᴇ-ᴇꜱᴛᴀʙʟɪꜱʜᴇᴅ ʜᴀʀᴍᴏɴʏ ❞ ◌ ᴜʟᴛɪᴍᴀᴛᴇ ᴛᴀʟᴇɴᴛ ᴅᴇᴠ. ᴀᴜ ¦ 「 Kazuichi 」

[not-bcring]

「 ��� 」 As soon as Fuyu acts shocked at his question, Kaz's stomach retreats into itself with the ferocity only cigarette-starved anxiety can muster. In retrospect, it was a stupid question. At least, it would be if he was anyone else. Someone who wasn't so very shoot-able... and Kaz says as much, hoping it might help Fuyu understand that the issue isn't HIM. No matter how intimidating the yakuza may be, it's not as though he goes around hurting people without reason. Which is one of the most surprising and admirable traits a guy can have.

❝ I mean... I'd shoot me. For bein' so annoying. ❞ He awkwardly mumbles despite being told NOT to answer, wondering if that helps or hinders Fuyu deciding against it. Thankfully, the other seems to take mercy upon the fumbling mechanic, explaining what ❛ shotgunning ❜ is. Frankly, he still thinks it's a misleading name, but if it means he gets some smoke... Although the idea of having something that has been in another man's mouth entering HIS, feels like it teeters the line of— he doesn't want to think gay, because that feels offensive. But it doesn't exactly feel overly-straight either. Still, if he WAS going to second-hand kiss someone via a borrowed smoke, there are few manlier partners than the Ultimate Yakuza, right?

... Does Fuyuhiko like guys? Kaz doesn't think he actually knows.

Either way, it should be fine. So long as it only happens ONCE. With that resolve, he swallows audibly, and leans in a bit closer. Stuck between not wanting to encroach upon Fuyu's space too much but not wanting to disobey the order warning of how close they NEED to get, he shakily exhales. Apology trapped on his tongue as though the trembling air brushing over Fuyu's mouth is some grievous insult, gaze flits from the other's lips— smoke billowing from its corners like a dragon —to Fuyuhiko's eyes. ❝ O-Okay... ❞ He weakly croaks, face pinker by the second at how low he's stopped for a smoke, ❝ I guess that works... ❞ 「 ☆ 」

No matter how much he understood the assumption of a threat at his words, Fuyu still couldn't help but be a bit taken aback that Kaz even had to ask. "What- No! Jesus, do you really think I'd shoot you?" As far as Fuyuhiko was concered, Kaz was harmless, there was nothing about him that warrented being shot even on his worst of days. Did he really think that of Fuyuhiko? Was he...was he scared of him? "You know what? Don't answer that." He already knew the answer was yes, why wouldn't it be? "Just...calm the fuck down, alright? I'm not going to hurt you, for fuck's sake. Shotgunning is just me breathing out smoke so you can breath it in. Most people do it with weed, but it'll work for this too." Speaking of weed, he should really get Kaz to take a hit or two, might loosen him the fuck up...

"That work for you? I mean, it's the only option you have if you want a hit, but I gotta get pretty close for this to work." Would Kaz even want someone like Fuyuhiko that close? "Clock's tickin'..." Each word spoken brought with it a puff of smoke from the yakuza's lips as he muttered around the cigarette, his face equally as flushed behind the veil it provided.

[not-bcring]

✩ 「 @the-ultimate-muses​ 」 ✩ - Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」 Strangely, Kazuichi’s fear only grew at the sight of Fuyuhiko. A learned blame gnawing at his gut, ripping him apart from the inside out like a rabid animal. Assisted by the echoing thoughts- no, certainties in his mind. Telling him that now he’s caused an issue for Fuyu. Confusing as it is that the Yakuza isn’t walking away from a fight he has no obligation to partake in. Dragged the other man into danger because of how pathetic he is. If any harm comes to Fuyuhiko, it’ll be harm that should have befallen HIM instead. Unable to sidestep guilt of ANY kind, Kaz’s wish that Fuyu hadn’t shown up— of course someone showed up, with how loudly he’d been crying; idiot —sends a fresh pang of chest-tightening disgust, Kazuichi silently admonishing himself for being so ungrateful.

None of this would be happening if he’d just shut up and accepted his punishment. Even if he didn’t know why… Honestly, it’s not like it matters. They all boil down to the same reason in the end. Him.

It’s a quick fight. Embarrassingly-quick for the aggressor. Honestly, Kazuichi doesn’t see most of it. Instinctively shutting his eyes at the first kick, he can’t bring himself to even attempt at opening them as the scene unfolds unseen. Flinching at each pained grunt and harmful impact, hands tug down his beanie in a white-knuckle grip as he ducks his head. Back slumps against the wall, using it to offer relief to his weak legs. At least it sounds like Fuyu is winning... heavily winning, if the aggressor's curses are any indication. What sounds like a body hitting the ground catches Kaz's attention— if the opponent is already there, that SHOULDN'T happen —eyes snapping open in time to see the larger man scrambling away.

Chest still heaving from labored breaths, panicked gaze snaps down to Fuyuhiko. The other man doesn't seem grievously injured... He's laughing anyway. Swallowing thickly, a weak smile hints Kaz's face, relief causing his entire body to shake as he fights to stay upright. Exhaustion pulling at his core now that the adrenaline is starting to fade into pure nausea, he pushes away from the wall to take a few unsteady steps forward. Relieved smile only lasting a second before a more natural grimace takes its place. Fuyu might not have gotten as roughed up as Kaz did, but it's clear he didn't leave the fight unscathed.

A fight he shouldn't have been in at all.

Hurrying over, stumbling in his haste, he helps Fuyuhiko up before he can think better of it. Touching the Ultimate Yakuza unprompted never ends well for anyone, but that tidbit is forgotten as surprisingly-careful hands guide the shorter man back onto his feet. Hands that linger even after the deed is done, hovering close-by as if afraid of Fuyu falling over. ❝ Yeah, but I sure as shit didn't help calm him down... ❞ Kaz mutters, being told that he really didn't do anything somehow sounding like a lie when it comes from someone else. If he wasn't such a sniveling coward, things never would have escalated. The least he can do is admit that.

Actually no, the least he can do is realize that— ❝ Shit! You're bleeding. ❞ Kaz yelps, a fresh wave of hot tears brimming in his eyes as he nervously wrings his hands, ❝ Oh FUCK. Dude. Shit, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean t— Shit. Okay, um. ❞ Calm down. Fucking calm down. Sucking in an unsteady breath, he then shakes his head for good measure, as if trying to forcibly eject the static threatening to take over. ❝ Here, lemme just- take care of that for you. As thanks for getting your ass beat on my behalf. Not that you got your ass beat... Just your head. ❞ Shut up. Shut the fuck up. Groaning and rolling his eyes, he gives his braid a frustrated tug. Wincing at the habit, Kaz averts his eyes and awkwardly adds, ❝ Don't worry, I'm a lot better at dealing with head wounds than I am at talking... ❞

He's had plenty of practice. 「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

Starter For  -  ✩   「   @from-across-the-stars​​​   」   ✩

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi can’t recall the specifics that led to this argument... only that it is EXACTLY what he wanted. To get Gundham riled up to the point of fighting— verbally, of course —purely for the sake of fighting. Of childish and sometimes incomprehensible insults hurled at one another, reminiscent of when they used to be metaphorically at each other’s throats all of the time, only somehow even more potent. Which is saying something.

Because Kazuichi had been doing everything in his power to be a completely infuriating BITCH, for no reason other than to get the biggest, loudest, longest reaction he could. He can only imagine how confused Gundham had been, might still be, at his reluctantly-gained compatriot seemingly waking up on the wrong side of the bed— like one in the depths of Hell, surrounded by fire and covered with red ants —and deciding to fervently express it by repeatedly snapping, with growing enthusiasm, at the Breeder. But it’s what NEEDS to be done.

It’s the only way to prove Hajime wrong. Stupid, stupid, STUPID Hajime, who had insisted— in a way that didn’t seem like he was joking —that Kazuichi would rather be sucking on Gundham’s face instead of yelling at it. Like he actually wants to tangle tongues (and other body parts, but Kazuichi had quickly left the conversation before Hajime could put any more ridiculous notions into his head) with his friend. His friend. His rival turned FRIEND.

A friend that Kazuichi is currently insulting haphazardly, barely even aware of what asinine things are tumbling from his mouth aside from making sure they aren’t TOO hurtful. It’s not like he wants to lose GUndham, after all. Just prove that he doesn’t have the Hots for him. That, even if things are different now, they aren’t that different...  

❛  Oh yeah?~ ❜  He can practically hear Hajime chastising him in his mind, all cheeky smile and twinkling eyes and an air of superiority as if Kazuichi hasn’t caught him staring off in Nagito’s direction more than a few times...  ❛  Is that why you wanna— ❜  

❝  YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD IT MAKES YOU LOOK STUPID!!!  ❞  

... Blinking dumbly, Kazuichi’s body goes completely still. Heart following suit, his buzzing mind can only make out two coherent thoughts. One: He is going to die. Right now. Right here... and Two: If, by some miracle, he doesn’t perish in a fiery burst of shame—

He is going to kill Hajime Hinata... or at least, try to beat his ass.

And probably lose the ensuing fight.   「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

Nothing was really out of the ordinary when Kazuichi would walk into the classroom; Hiyoko was bullying Mikan, Akane was doing pushups with Ibuki seated on her back while her and Nekomaru cheered, Sonia was nose deep in her latest novel, and Gundham was feeding seeds to his Devas, the breeder watching his beloved pets with a small smile as he reached a hand into his-

No, not his, Kazuichi's sweatshirt, his usual coat thrown over it in an effort to protect himself from the cold that they all suddenly found themselves in. It was deceptive, being black in color in all but the print, but it was undeniably the mechanic's with the garish coloration of the design across the torso.

Pulling his phone from his pocket, Gundham perked up when he caught Kazuichi from the corner of his eye, a smile coming over his face that very few would have the privilege of being on the receiving end of. "Ah, there you are." It's said warmly as the phone was put back into his pocket, the breeder clearly having been about to text his boyfriend. "I apologize for leaving before you were to awake, there were beasts in need of my care that could not have waited until later."

One couldn't help but wonder if Kazuichi found it odd how easily Gundham slipped into the role of boyfriend, though one could argue they had been dating long before the official title. Pet names and smiles came more readily now, even under the watch of others, and though a bit embarrassed by public displays of affection, Gundham was always willing to hold Kaz's hand, or give a kiss in passing. Those acts were fleeting though, a blink and they were gone, yet here the breeder was in Kazuichi's clothes for all to see. "Did you sleep well, love?"

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Ever since admitting his shame to Fuyuhiko, he hasn’t been able to get it out of his mind. What was once a hidden fear now screaming loudly, drowning Kazuichi in a cacophony of guilt that had kept him up late into the night. Nestled against his boyfriend, secure in Gundham’s embrace yet mind still racing behind shut eyelids and deceptively-even breathing. Lamenting the loss of his ignorance, Kaz wonders for the millionth time why his emotions must be so messy. Why can’t he ever understand without realization having to smash into him like a hammer? Shattering his skull with a splitting headache, stress making Kaz down a couple aspirin that morning to try and counteract the throbbing in his temple.

Exhausted, he had stumbled his way to class, rubbing his face and emitting a heavy sigh before opening the door. Back straightening with a silent prayer to hide his bedraggled state, Kaz had only hoped to get through the day without any surprises. A boring, mind-numbingly-so, class would be a gift of good fortune he knows he doesn’t deserve. But every fiber in his being hoped for such anyway. If only to make up for the Hell that awaited him afterward as he navigates what to do about his reservations. Gundham is going to hate him for it. Kaz just knows it.

❛  Fuck… ❜  Is all he can think, the curse summing up his feelings rather eloquently. Gaze downcast in thought and steps hurried, Kaz doesn’t notice anything out of the ordinary until Gundham’s voice cuts through his whirlwind of thoughts. Oddly, considering the breeder is the source of his panic, it sends a burst of warmth throughout Kazuichi’s chest. A slow, soothing spread of comfort, raising Kaz’s eyes with an eagerness to see Gundham’s face. To see that smile Kaz has grown dependent on, never failing to make him marvel at how he used to be afraid of the man capable of it. Returned smile is small but sincere, the gratitude behind Kazuichi’s eyes more damning than anything the breeder could do.

Unfortunately, Kaz is unaware of how telling his own expressions have never failed to be. Gaze flitting down to Gundham’s hand when it returns the phone, what his boyfriend is wearing suddenly strikes Kazuichi like a punch to the gut. Stiffening with a sharp intake of breath, Kaz nearly misses Gundham’s apology.  ❝  O-Oh! It’s no problem! I uh— I didn’t mind.  ❞  He hastily replies, fumbling to sit down at the desk beside Gundham’s. Nearly knocking over the chair, frazzled demeanor only grows worse as he scrambles to catch it with a choked-back yelp. Quickly sitting down, Kaz sets his backpack upon the desk with a thud that’s far louder than he wishes it was, knowing that he’s likely drawing far more attention to himself than anything Gundham had done. But he can’t help it, panic taking hold and making movements clumsy.

❛  Way to go dumbass… ❜  Rummaging through his bag in a bluff to make it seem like he’s busy and doesn’t feel eyes boring into him from all directions— ones that may exist only in his mind, Kaz too frightened to risk looking at what his classmates are doing —stomach sinks at the small lie he had told. He hadn’t minded, of course! Gundham’s animals are important and there’s no rule that they have to wake up together. No, what settles heavily in Kazuichi’s stomach is the brief bout of confusion that had hit when he first opened his eyes. Reaching out and feeling nothing beside him had been… strange. He’s no longer accustomed to waking up alone. To falling asleep alone. Gundham lying beside him has become his new normal. That shouldn’t be a scary thought. Yet Kaz can’t help but wonder how much it would hurt if he had to get used to waking up alone again.

Which is a terrifying thought.

Being alone… is terrifying again.

As is how effortlessly Gundham calls him love at the risk of everyone hearing, Kazuichi’s face burning with an intensity that nearly makes him dizzy. He wants to hug Gundham. How is Gundham so comfortable with this? He wants to kiss Gundham. With letting people know that he’s dating someone like Kazuichi? Why can’t he just go to Gundham? Isn’t he ashamed? Isn’t he worried about— No. He’s not. Gundham loves him. He loves him. He loves him, he loves him, he loves him. Breath quickening against Kaz’s will, he can’t bring himself to look at Gundham. Can’t bring himself to look at anything but the dark abyss of his backpack. Thoughts are too loud. It hurts too much to breathe. To exist. It’s loud and confusing and frightening and it’s HIS fault. He’s getting worked up, like he always does. He just needs to calm down. 

Just calm the fuck down.

Stop being a bitch and get a grip.

❝  Y-Yeah, I slept alright…  ❞  Voice cracks but it’s the best Kaz can do, shoulders hunching as he slumps forward in his seat, as if trying to disappear from sight. Fuck his hands are trembling. Abruptly shoving them into his backpack, as if that’s less conspicuous than their clear tremor, Kaz clears his throat and awkwardly adds,  ❝  I’m just- feelin’ a little off today. It’s not really a big deal… Probably something stupid like a cold or whatever.  ❞  Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.

Grimacing at his failure to act composed, or even just partially alright, Kazuichi wonders what the chances are of Gundham letting his strange behavior go unchallenged… Maybe if Kaz is lucky, the earth will split open under his desk and he’ll fall into a bottomless pit. Far stranger things have happened… After all, Kaz does have a boyfriend. For now.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Please for the love of fucking god tell me you and that breeder bitch are actually dating now." Fuyuhiko all but demanded as he cornered Kazuichi against his own dormitory door, or rather Gundham's door, more accurately, hand batting at the stupid scarf he had seen around the mechanic's neck more than the breeder's that week. "I can't fucking tell, but shit feels different." //grant him some peace kazuichi

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi’s back is firmly pressed against Gundham’s— Gundham and his door, palms flat on the surface as Kaz all but tries to phase through it. Considering discreetly reaching for the doorknob, fingers twitch in a second of contemplation, before Kaz decides against it. There’s no way Fuyuhiko wouldn’t notice with how intently he’s watching. Especially with how likely it is that Kaz would fumble the entire time. It’d be more discreet to simply turn around, open the door, and walk his ass right back in. Which isn’t an option, for obvious reasons.

So it looks like he’s trapped, flushed face sinking even deeper into the scarf Fuyuhiko bats, hands quickly darting up to lift the soft fabric further over his mouth. Practically covering his nose, words are muffled as he frantically whines in a hushed tone,  ❝  Dude, would you keep it down??  ❞  Immediately, Kaz feels disgusting for his instinctive concern. It’s not like he and Gundham are actively hiding their new relationship. Hell, if they WERE trying to be discreet, they’d be doing a pretty shitty job of it. The hickeys covered by the breeder’s scarf— Kaz’s white-knuckled grip growing tighter at the thought of the plentiful marks —are but a small example of how affectionate the two have become.

Not that they weren’t already pretty damn affectionate before…

Honestly, it’s stupid. That jolt of panic Kaz had felt at Fuyuhiko’s raised voice. That deep-seated sick twisting of his stomach at the thought of anyone aside from him and Gundham knowing that— … Shit. He’s a horrible boyfriend, isn’t he? Should they be blatantly telling people? Is this news they’re supposed to be spreading around? Kaz hadn’t thought he was trying to HIDE anything, but he hadn’t been trying to flaunt either. Not purposely. But just now, he can’t deny that he hadn’t wanted anyone to overhear Fuyuhiko’s accusation. Panic was unlike the embarrassment that always arose before. Back when Kaz didn’t think Gundham felt the same way, when he was still trying to navigate his own confusing feelings.

This time, the panic was because… Fuyuhiko is right.

Fuck. He’s horrible at being gay.

❝  Y-Yeah. We’re dating.  ❞  Kaz awkwardly mutters into the scarf, suddenly feeling VERY unworthy to breathe in its scent. Not meeting Fuyuhiko’s gaze, face burns with shame as he asks,  ❝  Can I ask you something?  ❞  Without even waiting for a reply, he hastily continues, the poor Yakuza apparently STILL having a part to play in his classmate’s romance,  ❝  Is it bad that I still feel— weird about other people knowing? It’s not that I don’t want them to know! I’m not trying to hide that Gundham’s my- y’know—  ❞  Grimacing at how his omission did NOT help his point, Kaz groans and runs a hand down his face.

Forcing himself to look at Fuyuhiko, he pulls down the scarf so it’s resting comfortably around his neck, words no longer muffled,  ❝  It’s scary as Hell, okay? To be— To officially be— I… I guess I just, forgot that when I told Gundham, it meant I was telling everyone else too.  ❞  Looking down at the scarf, he holds the end in his hands, thumbs rubbing the fabric as he weakly asks,  ❝  Is it shitty of me to kinda- wish no one had to know?  ❞

Shit, that came out wrong.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

"Kazuichi, could you be a dear and tell me what one does with a masterpiece?" Gundham is smug as he asks. He's up to something...

-   ✩    「    @from-across-the-stars​    」    ✩

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi doesn’t trust that tone... 

And when he turns around to face Gundham, he doesn’t trust the LOOK he sees either. Gundham is up to something. He is definitely up to something. Which is a double-edged sword when it comes to the breeder. Eyes narrowing as he studies the other, Kazuichi’s mind races to figure out what the right answer is.

Scrambling to decipher what he’s stumbled into— not even stumbled, Gundham just threw him into this random scenario —Kazuichi hasn’t even answered yet and he’s sure he’s given the wrong one.  ❝  You... look at it? Appreciate it? ❞  That’s what masterpieces are FOR, right? For people to be impressed and admire.

Hands motioning around as he grows frazzled over answering a simple, if unexpected, question, Kazuichi barks out impatiently,  ❝  Fuck, I dunno— Why the Hell do you need to know so badly, huh? ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

❛   i’m supposed to be the one who protects you from monsters. i’m not supposed to be one.  ❜  //g,,,,,gunnie and kaz-

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars​ 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi had known that ignoring his dad would come back to bite him on the ass sooner or later. What he hadn’t planned on was it being more SOONER than later, the infuriated man storming into Hope’s Peak garage with enough entitlement that one would assume it was his place of business. Fuck, how long has it been since Kaz visited his dad at the garage like he was supposed to? Kaz had dropped off the face of the earth immediately after that- reunion with Gundham, retreating into the new relationship and the false ‘ safety ’ of Hope’s Peak. True, he’d known that his dad could come here if he wanted to, but he hadn’t let himself linger too long on that possibility. Reassuring himself that he WAS going to get in touch.

Eventually.

He just needed time to figure some shit out... like how he was going to ease the conversation into the fact that he was kinda possibly maybe totally a little bit all the way gay. Or that he had a boyfriend now. Days had turned into weeks, in all that time Kazuichi unable to figure out how to even breach the subject. Seeing his dad burst through the workshop doors had negated any ability to think AT ALL. His father’s overbearing energy had immediately made Kaz stiffen where he stood, feeling as if his shoes were cemented to the ground, unable to move away no matter how much he may have wanted to. Forced to stand there as he tried to remember how to breathe, chest heaving with panicked motions as his heart hammered in his ears. 

Trembling like a frightened child— not that Kazuichi has ever been anything but that around his dad —tears had beaded in his eyes as soon as he took note of his father’s clenched fists. Knowing what that meant, knowing that ANYTHING he said or did would only speed up the process, only make it worse to bear... Yet, like an idiot, he had opened his mouth anyway. He had tried, as if that had ever worked in his favor before. Kazuichi doesn’t recall everything that happened, panic making moments blur. At some point during his haphazard explanation for why he was ignoring his father’s attempts to reach out, Kaz had blurted out.  ❝  I’M GAY, DAD!  ❞   Messily and WAY too loudly, with deafening silence following... until it was shattered by a low, terrifying  ‘ What did you just say? ’ 

 ❝  I.. I said— I... I’m... I’m- gay, dad....  ❞

… ✩ … ✩ … ✩ … ✩ … ✩ … ✩ … ✩ … ✩ … ✩ … ✩ …

Shaking... Kaz can’t recall a time when he shook this badly. Barely able to stand, but refusing to fall to his knees, hands sting from shoving Gundham. An unnatural motion, ripping himself away from Gundham’s concerned hold. Bruised hands had taken Kazuichi’s face so gingerly, as they’ve done countless times, Gundham gazing at him with such blatant CONCERN. Kaz had only stared at him for a moment, glossy gaze full of indecision— a struggle ripping him apart from the inside, chest writhing with agonizing beats of his rapid heart —before uncertainty had reverted to anger. Overwhelming and so much easier to handle than shame that burned within his bruised cheeks, streaked with tears and blood— his own, his boyfriend’s, and his father’s, Gundham’s hands having left their mark after Kaz tore them from his face.

This is Kaz’s fault. ALL of it. He upset his dad and caused him to feel the need to punish him— Kaz can still feel it against his skin, his father’s boots having left impressions upon his ribcage, hands having marred his face and left marks upon his arms, already changing colors from the force of his father’s grip. He had caused his dad to come in the first place by distancing himself with no explanation. Something he wouldn’t have had to DO if he hadn’t confessed to Gundham. If he hadn’t gained these stupid, wonderful, relentless feelings for the other man. If he wasn’t GAY none of this would have happened. If he wasn’t HIM. If Kaz was just— If... FUCK. Fuck, fuck, fuck FUCK— He screwed everything up.

But Gundham— GUNDHAM had made it worse. 

Yeah. He had made it so much worse. Now what is Kazuichi supposed to do? How is he supposed to make things OKAY?   ❝  THAT WASN’T A MONSTER! THAT WAS MY FUCKING DAD!  ❞  Kazuichi retorts, throat already hoarse from having begged for his dad to not hurt him earlier.... and then from having cried for his dad to stop when the reprimanding began. He doesn’t know how long he’d been tossed around, only that he’d hadn’t been on the ground for nearly as long as usual before the hits had stopped. Back aching from being shoved against his tool-bench at the start, Kazuichi had been quickly thrown onto the concrete afterward. Kaz hadn’t even known someone else had arrived until he’d opened his bleary gaze, spitting out blood from his split lip as he groggily raised his head to look in the direction of new noise.

It’s hard to guess how long the fight had lasted... but Kaz feels confident in saying that it was one of the worst ones he’s seen so far. Clenching his fists, he takes a step towards Gundham, fighting back the nausea from how battered the other man got in HIS defense. Not that Kaz’s dad got away without looking like he’d been attacked by a pack of rabid wolves. God, Kaz hopes he’s going to be okay. It’s not like they can afford hospital trips.  Harshly wiping at his tears, it doesn’t do any good.

Kaz can’t stop crying. He can’t stop shouting... FUCK, he can’t stop FEELING.

His dad thinks he’s pathetic. Even more than he might have if Gundham hadn’t stepped in. He IS pathetic. God, Gundham saw just how weak he is. His father’s retreating words still ring in Kazuichi’s mind, echoing so loudly that he’s surprised his ears don’t bleed. ‘ It’s bad enough you’re fuckin’ gay, but you’re not even the MAN in the relationship! ’  It’s true though, isn’t it? Gundham came in and assumed he had to save him, like he ALWAYS does.

Worthless. He really is fucking WORTHLESS... Just like his dad says. Gundham stepped in and did what he always does, and instead of being grateful and fucking NICE and tending to Gundham’s wounds like the other man clearly wanted to tend to his, Kaz can’t stop himself from lashing out at him. But it’s so much easier. It makes so much more sense. Because this isn’t how things are supposed to go. He doesn’t get saved. Not from his dad. Because there’s NOTHING to save him from. There can’t be. There isn’t.

That was his dad. Not a monster... and not a demon.

❝  You can’t just fucking beat the shit outta my DAD!  ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

from-across-the-stars​:

Keep Reading

「 ☆ 」   Mind races as Kazuichi tries to piece together a plan without even having all the details before him, several rudimentary bases concocted within his ever-racing thoughts as a result. But that’s fine, because he’d rather be over prepared than under. It’s easy for the mechanic to take a bare-bones idea and expand upon it, many of his moments in class spent doing that exact thing. Piecing together fantastical machines spawned by untethered daydreams wondering how to make something lame better. It’s easy to expand upon things that everyone already agrees is cool. But taking something under-appreciated, underutilized, and making it into a marvel— that’s where the challenge lies.

Kazuichi never has been one to shy away from those sorts of challenges.

So occupied by his internal planning, Kazuichi is barely aware of his surroundings. Ideas loud enough to drown out the silence in the air, he faintly recalls the strain on his arm from tugging Gundham along, the pleasant chill on his hot palm, the oddity of being around the breeder and NOT having his body assaulted by waves upon waves of paranoia. Settling into a simple rhythm, as if it isn’t anything out of the ordinary to be at ease around the bane of his existence, Kazuichi is only jolted out of it by a sharp yank upon his arm. It’s not nearly as painful as Kazuichi makes it out to be, yelping shortly with surprise before glaring at Gundham and adding a far more dramatic,  ❝  Ow…  ❞  as if to ensure the other man knew that his arm HURT. Not really, but still.

❝  Yeah, yeah— whatever…  ❞  Kazuichi gripes as he stumbles along, now following the others lead. Glowering at Gundham, he rolls his eyes and snaps, ❝  Well excuse me for not knowing where to go. It’s not like I visit your sanctuary that often. ❞  Or ever. It might be odd referring to it as ‘ Gundham’s sanctuary ’, since technically the property belongs to Hope’s Peak. But it’d be even odder to not, since that refuge is more home to Gundham than anyone else here, aside from the animals tucked away there. Still, the term makes something sit uncomfortably in Kazuichi’s stomach, it reminding him that he’s about to enter a place he has NO right to. True, Gundham encroached upon his space. The breeder literally barged in a few moments ago.

But that’s different… His garage is pretty open to the public, be it people looking for assistance or other students with talents pertaining to mechanics. It’s big enough for it, so Kazuichi just tries to keep his head down and his mind focused on his own tasks. Some students have their own private labs or areas set aside, but Kaz never got around to asking for the same. Figuring that if he was deemed good enough to warrant it, he wouldn’t have been shoved into the common garage in the first place. It’s not like he’s an Ultimate Inventor or Ultimate Programmer or Ultimate Robotic Engineer or anything of the sort… He’s a mechanic. A damn good one, but still just someone who tinkers with engines and occasionally makes something cool out of would-be scrap metal. If anything, he feels like the school’s glorified Maintenance Man at times.

Which is fine. It’s good to be useful…

Glancing down at their clasped hands, Kaz is abruptly taken off-guard by the sight. Face overpowered by a blush, he chokes back a sputter— when the FUCK had that happened?? —and quickly averts his gaze, too absorbed in his own panic to realize that Gundham is doing the same. He doesn’t risk looking back at Gundham until they’ve reached the sanctuary, nothing more than a quick glance the others way— one that’s quickly repeated, wide eyes and slightly parted lips taking in a sight that he had to look at twice to believe. Gundham Tanaka, the Supreme Overlord of Ice, one of the most egotistical and intimidating men Kazuichi has ever known— or at least in the top three —is smiling.

And damn it, he actually looks human while doing it.

Swallowing discreetly, Kazuichi tentatively follows along. Hurried movements now wary, gaze flits around at the different animals, looking guilty at intruding upon their space. Paranoia once again starting to spike, he wonders how many of them know that he’s not meant to be there. That he’s not worthy of being somewhere so… sacred. Internally groaning at his dumb phrasing, and even dumber fear of Gundham’s animals judging him being around their caretaker ( one they clearly adore, if the near-overwhelming sounds are any indication ) he shakes his head to try and clear it. Looking at Gundham, then back down at their hands, Kazuichi barely manages to stop himself from brushing his thumb against the others bruised knuckles.

Shit. He probably shouldn’t be holding this hand, huh? But Gundham doesn’t seem uncomfortable. Must be his pain tolerance… Certain that the breeder would let go if it were even the least bit uncomfortable, his mind wanders to how long it’s been since he held someone’s hand. Fuck, he can barely remember. It’s not like hand-holding is a thing people just do. Or- maybe it is? Kazuichi has never had the most conventional relationships, feeling like he’s doing his best to guess what it is that’s expected of him by everyone else. Something he often fails at, no matter how affectionate or aloof he is.

Refocusing on Gundham’s face, uncertain gaze follows the breeder’s, emitting a slow exhale at the sight of the injured pup. Chest tight at the pitiful sight, he’s taken by surprise at how sudden his stomach sinks. How quick his eyes are to sting, Kaz blinking back tears that he’s grateful Gundham is too preoccupied to see. He hadn’t come here expecting to feel nothing for the dog in need. He’s not heartless, after all. But Kaz hadn’t expected to feel THIS. Looking at the dog— small, scared, and forced to surrender to whatever others chose for her; whether it was pain or love —he feels a kinship that near-terrifies him, reluctant to relate to a beaten animal— … but knowing deep down that it’s a truthful comparison. Breath catches when Gundham lets go of his hand, gaze darting down as if surprised to see that his palm is now empty.

Fingers curling inward, Kazuichi shoves his hand into his pocket with a grimace, trying to ignore how odd it feels to no longer have Gundham’s cool skin against his. Shaking off the strangeness, his mind is just having trouble adapting to the situation— to seeing Gundham in his element, fighting past the feeling of being so out of place, the rush of emotions that hit —but it’ll clear soon. He’s fine. Probably just tired. Overworked… Gundham looks like he might be overworked too.

Kazuichi doesn’t realize that he’s looking directly into Gundham’s eyes, studying his gaze with the same open worry the other had in his tone, until Gundham has quickly looked away. Blinking out of the trance, terror trickling through him at the warmth he’d felt spreading from his chest— tired; he’s just more tired than he thought —Kazuichi quickly wipes at his eyes to clear the mist within them, barking out what he hopes is an unconcerned laugh, ❝  Pffffff— Are you kiddin’? Of course I can help. I’m the Ultimate Mechanic, aren’t I? ❞  Brag feels hollow, even though Kazuichi doesn’t have a doubt in his abilities. But it’s hard not to feel like anyone else with a similar talent could do the same. If not better.

Still… Gundham came to HIM for help.

❝  I’ll come up with some design ideas, and then I can start measuring right away.  ❞  Kaz verbally charges forward, pride from being trusted by Gundham helping the words come easier now that he’s in his element. It is where he thrives. Creating and fixing things, not floundering through interactions with confusing classmates.  ❝  I’ll make sure it’s comfortable and adjustable, since she’s probably gonna get bigger— Uh, how big is she getting anyway?  ❞  Feeling foolish for having to ask, even though it’s not like he’s had much experience with dogs, a hand reaches out before abruptly stopping. Glancing at Gundham for permission, if granted, he carefully pets the pup’s back, avoiding her hind area with his gentle movements.

Focused on the dog, trying to ignore the flush of color on his cheeks, he clumsily says, ❝  It doesn’t really matter. I just need an estimate, but I can always adjust and rebuild as needed. Whatever I gotta do to help her... ❞ Falling quiet, he risks a glance at Gundham before quickly looking away, not entirely sure what to say… only that he feels like he needs to say something.  ❝  … Hey, Gundham?  ❞  

❝  It’s uh, pretty cool… What you do for all these guys. Y’know- just…. being there for them.  ❞   Rubbing the pup’s fur with his thumb, tone is surprisingly solemn in its softness, ❝  It’s nice to know that she’s gonna be be okay.  ❞  Tucked against Gundham’s chest, she’s safe. Cared for. Hell, she’s loved… Smiling, Kaz lightly rubs a finger behind one of the pup’s ears.

Must be nice.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

✩     「   @from-across-the-stars​    」    ✩   -  Continued from ★

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi had done his best... He had tried to get to his dad’s workshop in time. He had tried to stay FOCUSED. It shouldn’t have been that hard. All he had to do was race out of the dorms, out of the school, to the bus stop, ride it and pray no disasters delayed the route, then sprint into the garage where his dad was waiting for him to assist with the backed-up orders. Having fallen on hard times, as if times had ever really been anything but, they couldn’t afford to hire any extra help. So, it’s up to Kazuichi to pick up the slack.

It honestly wasn’t anything out of the ordinary... aside from kissing Gundham’s cheek.

That alone had sent Kazuichi down a spiral that only grew the further away he got. Wondering what Gundham must have been thinking, what he must be saying to... probably Sonia or whatever— those two are pretty close friends; a fact that used to make Kaz’s stomach sick with apprehension, but now makes it twist in an oddly-different way. God, he really screwed things up. Massively, majorly, momentously FUCKED things up between them. Their friendship can’t afford any strain after the disaster that was Kazuichi’s first guy-guy kiss.

First guy-guy kiss? It’s not like there’s going to be another... Right? Right.

Stomach twists at the memory of Gundham’s mouth against his own, tongue flitting across bruised lips, wincing as the action reminds Kaz of the strike he’d taken to the jaw a few hours earlier. That’s what he gets for arriving late, he supposes. Mind swimming, he had missed his bus stop... and didn’t realize it until a few stops later. Grumbling under his breath as Kazuichi slowly makes his way down the hallway towards his dorm room, he lightly presses his fingers against his cheek and winces. Yep. Still tender... Still throbbing with the memory of his dad’s large hand slamming across it. Again, well-deserved. Shouldn’t have tried to make excuses. 

Sighing, he drags his beanie further down and tries to ignore the aching of his arms. Bruises blossom beneath his sleeves from where he’d been grabbed, back and sides groaning in tandem from having been thrown against the wall and ground. Not for arriving late— his dad had worked out all that anger pretty quickly with a few well-aimed smacks across the head —but for what happened afterward. Mistakes from being distracted, suggestions that were none of his business, backtalk that he should have outgrown when he was a kid... Little things that piled upon one another, punishments littered across the time spent as they worked. Adding and adding until Kazuichi was in the state he is now. Bruised, bloody and wanting nothing more than to collapse his exhausted form onto his bed. Maybe down some pills to help with the pain, then he can patch himself up when he wakes up...

❝  At least that’s done with...  ❞  He mumbles, reaching into his pocket to try and find his dorm key. Grimacing at the partial-lie, already dreading having to return in a few days to continue the work, his searching becomes more frantic as the seconds tick by. Eyes widening, he whimpers a weak  ❝  Aw, c’mon...  ❞  when it becomes obvious he doesn’t have his key.  ❝  FUCK.  ❞  Kaz growls, slamming a fist against his door, hissing as his bruised knuckles hit the wood. He doesn’t have his key... He has the spare key Gundham gave him to HIS dorm room. 

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, FUCK... Another fist hits against his door. Then again. Again, and again and again— Kaz doesn’t know how long he pummels his own door, breathless curses hissed past clenched teeth, before he SLAMS his palms flat against the wood. Resting his forehead against it with a thump, he breathes a shaky exhale and closes his eyes. Trembling as he stands before his locked room, stomach ill as he wonders what to do now... He could take the door off its hinges, but the proper tools were left in his workshop. Legs feel like jelly, Kaz using all his will to keep from falling to his knees. He could sneak into Gundham’s room, PRAY the breeder isn’t around, and try to find his key... That is, if it’s even still there. Fuck.

❝  Goddamnit...  ❞  He whimpers in a cracked voice, eyes shut and tears beading in the edges. Knuckles split open and bleeding, Kaz weakly hits a closed fist against the door one more time, as if that’ll magically open it...  ❝  Goddamnit.  ❞     「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

Starter For  -  ✩   「   @from-across-the-stars​   」   ✩

 「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi figured he’d be hurt here sooner or later... He had just been hoping for later. Much, much later. It had all happened so fast. Kazuichi had stayed out longer than he intended tinkering in the shop, not too keen on spending the night asleep on a cold concrete floor— not after he got chewed out by the teacher who woke him up in the morning the last time he tried to pull an all-nighter —he had started making his way to the dorms. Exhausted and in need of a shower, oil and sweat covering his jumpsuit, Kazuichi hadn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. He had gotten too comfortable in Hope’s Peak... That was a mistake.

He should have known better than to ever assume he’s safe.

By the time he realized he was being followed— and WHO was following him —he barely had any time to react. Overtaken by a familiar feeling of dread, he began to run, blindly heading in the direction of the dorms, desperately hoping to run into someone along the way. Not that he expected anyone to help him. No one ever does. Still, he couldn’t just accept the inevitable beating. Breathing heavily and barely able to think in his panic, body already aching from mishaps in the shop, Kazuichi spared a few frantic glances behind himself to see if they were catching up on him... and then he’d tripped. Like the stupid, clumsy, pathetic piece of shi—

Kazuichi hadn’t been on the ground long before he was roughly hoisted onto his feet and SLAMMED against a nearby wall, the rough texture digging into his back even through his jumpsuit. Banging his head against the building, a splitting pain immediately shoots through it, making Kazuichi see spots— but he doesn’t have to worry about that for long. Soon all he’s seeing is black as a fist rams against his eye. When it happens again, Kazuichi sees swirling colors... and he tastes blood.... Spatting it out because the feeling of it coating his tongue makes him nauseous, he yelps when he sees the splatter painting an assailant’s face.

❝  I... I didn’t mean to. It was an accident, I swear dude! It was—  ❞  

He’s cut off by another punch.

It’s all a blur. A flurry of pain as three guys begin beating any part of them he can reach. Breath is knocked out of his lungs by a fist against his chest, cutting off a yelp when another hits his ribs... It’s probably his imagination when he hears a crack. He tends to think these things are worse than they actually are. Yeah. It’s not as bad as he thinks it is. When it’s over, it won’t be as bad as it feels. As it sounds... He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. He’ll be okay. A frantic mantra in his mind as he finds himself curled up on the ground, arms covering his head as best he can. It hurts. EVERYTHING hurts. Eyes squeezed shut— one already swollen —blinded by blood and tears, Kazuichi coughs through his crying, pleading for the guys to stop.

Stop hurting him.... Please. Just- leave him alone... Why won’t people leave him alone?

Why does this keep happening to him?

Coughing through his tears, he barely manages to speak through each agonizing breath as he’s kicked and berated, their insults simply blending together in a panic-inducing haze. This is familiar... Painfully familiar. What feels like a million scenarios wash over him. His home, his old schools, the stupid places his ‘friends’ always saw fit to drag him too... Fights he never wanted and never was able to fight back during. Beatings that were sometimes earned, other times weren’t. It didn’t change either way. They all hurt. All left him a sniveling mess... ashamed at falling apart yet again. At the panic he feels overwhelming him; unable to think, barely able to breathe... He’s scared. He’s scared, he’s scared, he’s scared, he’s SCARED—

Fuck, he’s pathetic. 

No wonder they weren’t scared to go after him. He’s not like Gundham. He can’t defend himself... He never could. He never will. All he can do is lie here and wait, hoping that they stop before it’s too late. That he’ll be able to force himself to his dorm without anyone seeing him. That he can find some shred of rest tonight... and figure out some excuse to explain his injuries tomorrow. That is, if anyone even cares. People never did before. Never believed him when he said who hurt him or that he hadn’t brought fights upon himself. If they could even be called fights. Is it really a fight if the opponent is so quickly surrendering? If they’re weeping on the ground, begging for mercy they know they won’t receive... Not that Kazuichi can blame them. Even HE wants to beat himself for being such a loser. 

It’s with that thought that his begging quiets into hiccups and pained gasps, Kazuichi biting his bleeding lip to try and muffle the pained whimpers clawing at his raw throat. Maybe they’re doing him a favor... Maybe this’ll finally make him stronger. Maybe, if he gets hurt enough- he’ll finally toughen up. Maybe.... Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe— ...

Maybe it’ll be over soon.

Please.   「 ☆ 」 

[not-bcring]

(( Tag Dump - Kazuichi Souda ))

[not-bcring]

「 ☆ 」 It takes a few breaths for Bill's words to break through. Shuddering, sobbing, shame-filled breaths that shake Kazuichi to his core. Choking on his own apologies, lathered with terrified tears and the certainty he's screwed up the best friendship he's ever managed to cultivate. With BILL, of all people. Not that it honestly ever crossed Kaz's mind how strange that is. He's been told to stop apologizing before. Not that it does much good, Kazuichi often digging in even harder in a misguided panic.

A real man doesn't apologize, after all. A sentiment that leaves Kaz lost when it comes to what he's supposed to DO to make amends whenever he messes up. Maybe he just can't. Maybe that's the lesson he's repeatedly failed to learn. That the best thing he can do is simply steel himself and take whatever comes to him. No sorries... No sobbing... Nothing but submission and the hope it'll eventually end. But that doesn't feel like something a ❛ man ❜ is meant to do either.

What do people want from him? To fight back? Would that FINALLY make everyone happy? ... No. No, that doesn't work either. It only ever makes others angrier. Then what the FUCK is he meant to do? Answers don't come this time either, Bill instead hitting him with something far more confusing... Reassurance.

Chest stutters and struggles, but attempts to steady its breathing. Wide eyes open to aim a bewildered, glossy gaze upon the other male; trembling hands lifting the edge of his beanie so it isn't obstructed. Akin to a haggard animal who had been certain a predator was about to sink its fangs in, only to be met with a far more unsettling mercy... He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do. So he settles for doing the unthinkable— He listens to what Bill says. Flinching with a sucked in breath through gritted teeth, eyes squeezing shut and body tensing... before he slowly, warily relaxes when the hand touches his shoulder.

With a drawn-out exhale, pink hues flow from Bill's hand to his face. Throat bobs in a thick swallow, Kaz having quieted. Unsure how much of it is a result of shock. Mouth tastes bitter, dry throat not aiding in his attempt to speak without a cracking voice. He fails. ❝ I... I— ... ❞ Another swallow, eyes lowering with a wince at how his voice barely manages to come. ❝ ... I wanna get out of here. I really don't want anyone else to see me like this. ❞ He doesn't know where he's asking to go. His dorm... Bill's... The nearest trash can so he can throw himself into it. ANY would work.

Wiping at his face, cheeks stained and eyes red-rimmed, he buries his face in his hands with a groan. He can already feel his eyes watering again. Words muffled as he adds, ❝ I just— Fuck, dude... I hate today. I— I really.... re-eally hate today.... ❞ 「 ☆ 」

Fucking hell. Bill had expected Kaz to react in a way that’s less than desirable, but this is a lot. At first, he just stares, watching Kazuichi break down with no clue how to respond. Then he realizes he has to do something if he doesn’t want it to get worse— and he definitely doesn’t want it to get worse.

“Stop apologizing, dipshit. Nobody’s mad.”

Annoyed, yeah, and uncomfortable, but not mad. Bill knows Kaz well enough to know he shouldn’t say that second part out loud.

“You’re fine. You hear me? I don’t know what all this is about, but you’re fine.”

It’s less dismissive than it would be were Kazuichi anyone else, but still not too vulnerable. A nagging little inkling in the back of Bill’s head says Kazuichi might really need vulnerable right now, but he’s not ready to offer it yet. The closest he’s comfortable getting is glancing around to make sure they’re alone and then putting a hand on Kaz’ shoulder.

“What’s your damage, man? Do you… shit, alright, do you need anything?”

Just to make him calm down, of course. Not because Bill cares.

[not-bcring]

Looming over his boyfriend in such a way that might be described as "casually menacing", trying his very best to fight a smile off his face, Gundham had one hand poised in his pocket as if ready to give something to his boyfriend, but what exactly remained to be seen. "Kazuichi...may I offer you my fastest dark deva in these trying times?" With a menacing pause after Kaz's name, now no longer able to fight his smile, the breeder pulled his hand from his pocket to reveal said deva, Cham-P looking to Kaz with every ounce of happiness he was capable of holding in his fuzzy little body.

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」    Today sucks. But the worst part is, it sucks in a way that feels stupid to be upset about. Kazuichi can’t pin it down to any big thing, as far as he knows. Never mind what is often nagging beneath the surface; anxiety and fears fueled by a mixture of trauma and genetics. Merely a bunch of little things that alone wouldn’t be cause for a breakdown. But together, one inconvenience after another on a day when his stomach is already feeling a bit iller than usual? It’s enough to make him feel like crying. Which is a gross over-exaggeration because, as he knows, there’s nothing to REALLY be upset about.

Doesn’t stop him from being upset though.

Unable to hide it even behind false, strained smiles and awkward excuses for why he felt like staying in the dorm instead of going out ( insisting that Gundham join their friends in his absence ) , he shouldn’t be surprised that Gundham could tell something was wrong. Yet he still is, wide eyes and messy hair meeting the breeder as Kaz sticks his head out of the pile of blankets he’d planned on spending the night hidden in.

Confused by Gundham’s demeanor, as well as him having come to the dorm instead of taking Kaz’s advice ( another thing that should have been obvious to the crestfallen mechanic ) , Kazuichi untangles himself from his blanket nest and sits upright on the bed. Quizzical and tad nervous gaze flits from Gundham’s face to his hidden hand, Kaz not realizing he was holding his breath until it’s released with a sputtered laugh at the reveal. Slightly shaky but still sincere, the sound is a welcome change of pace. Lacing his words as Kazuichi reaches out his hands to accept the offered Deva.

❝  Pfffft— Okay, there’s no way that’s true…  ❞  Kazuichi laughs, tears beading in the corner of his eyes as he feels the faint hold he had on himself starting to crumble. Unsure why, Kaz ignores the fogginess creeping into his gaze, hoping it’ll be blamed on his laughter and not the confusing tightness in his chest. A tightness that has started to wane since Gundham’s arrival. Looking at Cham-P, he gingerly pets the hamster and chuckles,  ❝  Are you really telling me this guy is the quickest one you’ve got?  ❞

It’s difficult to imagine the happy hamster moving fast at all, let alone the fastest.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

At first, Gundham had walked into Kazuichi's workshop like it was a normal day, attention more on the phone in his hand, busy scrolling through a series of restaurant reviews in an effort to figure out what they wanted for dinner that night. "Kazuichi, the small chef will not be leading the ritual of nourishment this eve, do you-"

Stopping quick as he looked up from his phone, Gundham was met with something that unfortunately still fit the criteria of normal when it came to his boyfriend. "What are you doing?" A stupid question really, he could see that Kaz was about to bind a wound with duct tape of all things he was simply too flabbergasted to even process such a thing. "Put that down!" Using the same tone one might scold a misbehaving puppy with, Gundham's phone was promptly shoved into his pocket as he rushed to the mechanic's side in a bit of a panic. "How did this happen? Why are you using tape?!" Leave it to Kazuichi to knock the "overlord" right out of him. //yeah i had to lmao

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars​ 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Sometimes Gundham really has the shittiest timing… As soon as he heard his boyfriend’s voice, Kazuichi knew there was going to be an issue with his life-hack first-aid. The smart thing to do would be to drop the roll of duct tape. Unfortunately, he already had the end stuck to the back of his hand, the mechanic prepped to start wrapping it tautly around his injured palm as if it were gauze. Dropping the roll wouldn’t have hidden his intentions, the damning evidence bound to simply swing from his hand in a surprising show of strength. There’s a reason he uses this tape.

Besides, the thought never crosses Kaz’s mind anyway. No thoughts do, aside from an initial  ❛ Oh shit.  ❜  while he freezes like a kid caught with their hand in a cookie jar. As if keeping completely still would somehow hide him from Gundham’s keen sight. Obviously that doesn’t work, Kaz haphazardly letting go of the tape when commanded, entire body jolting with a start. Not out of fear but an expected unease annoyance at the no-doubt embarrassing troublesome conversation this was going to be. Whenever Gundham is frazzled, it’s bound to be a whole thing.

Especially when Kaz is involved.

Like Kazuichi predicted, the duct tape comically hangs off his hand, the mechanic growling irritably as he rips it off before dropping it to the ground with a bit more sass to the action than necessary. Rolling his eyes with the motion, heated cheeks betray his true shame at being caught.  ❝  Because I didn’t wanna get blood everywhere.  ❞  He retorts with a huff, as if the answer is obvious. Irritably motioning at his wounded palm with his free hand, eyes are focused on it and the large cut slanted across it. Even his blood is easier to look at than Gundham right now.

❝  I was working when my hand barely slipped but I still got this stupid cut and of course it’s right on my fucking palm so holding tools is gonna be a literal pain—  ❞  He complains, not sure if he’s looking for sympathy or just needs to vent. Either way, he’s definitely avoiding the topic of tape.  ❝  —and I didn’t wanna bleed on anything so I figured I’d, y’know— … cover it up.  ❞  Shrugging as if he’s not pointedly looking to the side, cheeks aflame and voice cracking, he hastily adds,  ❝  Usually I’d put a rag or somethin’ over it but they’re all dirty right now, so that’d just be stupid.  ❞

Yeah. That’s the only thing that would be stupid.

❝  It’s really not a big deal, Gunnie. I do this kinda thing all the time.  ❞  He huffs, immediately deciding that probably wasn’t the best thing to admit. Fuck.  ❝  It works.  ❞  He adds, a bit more defensively than intended. Sure hurts like a son of a bitch to get off though… But at least duct tape lets him keep working instead of wasting time with a stupid cut. His dad taught him that trick.   「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

It was something Gundham never thought he would get to experience, waking up next to someone he could say he loved on a daily basis, so used to fleeting flings or simply waking up alone. He found that he liked sleep more when sharing it with another, the comfort of another person and soothing warmth that came from another body lulling him in ways he never thought possible. Waking up was still difficult, but now it stemmed from wanting to cuddle just a moment longer instead of trying to drag as much sleep as he could out of any given morning.

Gundham couldn't help but smile now as he eyed Kazuichi from across the room, the breeder just having pulled himself out of bed to sit at it's edge, still undressed with his hair mussed and face sporting a bit of scruff as he took in his equally disheveled boyfriend. Rising from the bed with first a stretch and a tried huff, Gundham followed Kazuichi as he made his way into the bathroom, pulling the hairbrush from his lover's hand as he placed a kiss to his crown. "Allow me to assist you, love. I fear this mess will never be tamed otherwise." A playful jab as careful fingers unwound the mechanic's small braid with his free hand, the digits then carding through the pink locks to lessen the snarls for the brush. "Did you sleep well?" //wait i thought of something cute too,,,,,,,

-  ✩   「 @from-across-the-stars 」   ✩  

「 ☆ 」   Kazuichi didn’t ever think he’d enjoy waking up—

Internally wincing at how unintentionally-morbid that observation sounds, he tries again. He didn’t think waking up would be… something to look forward to. Better, but still pretty weird if he dwells on the wording. If only because opening his eyes means being greeted with the sight of Gundham beside him. Sometimes that isn’t the case, whenever the breeder’s work demands him to rise earlier. But Kaz still sees the indent of where Gundham USED to be. Sees himself surrounded by his boyfriend’s possessions. His scent lingering on the shirt Kaz stole to wear to bed. Even when Gundham isn’t there, he’s still there…

It’s comforting. 

Stretching with a whine, Kaz feels his back pop in a way that both offers relief and startles him. Yelping despite not being injured, nerves quickly settle with a soft exhale and a hand rubbing the sleep from his eyes. Hardly a graceful riser, Kazuichi’s demeanor has notably grown sluggish since sharing Gundham’s bed. Normally one to rush about in the morning, as if expecting to be punished for being late to the act of simply EXISTING, that habit had been broken thanks to his reluctance to leave Gundham’s arms. True, there’s still plenty to do in the day. And that feeling of wasting time does occasionally rear it’s ugly head… but if laying about is wasteful, there’s no one else he’d rather waste that time with.

Going to the bathroom on autopilot, he doesn’t even notice Gundham is behind him until the hairbrush is taken from his hand. Blinking back his surprise, he emits a soft laugh at the kiss to his head, the mechanic in a more-relaxed state than anyone has witnessed from him. Or anyone else ever will.  ❝  Hey— what you call a mess, I call style…  ❞  He playfully retorts, offering no resistance as Gundham’s fingers card through his tangled hair. Leaning INTO the touch for a moment before letting Gundham go back to tending to his knots, eyes shut with a pleased hum, Kaz still trying to talk shit through the contented sound,  ❝  I could walk outta this room right now and be good to go…  ❞  Says the man who always hides his ‘ stylish ’ hair underneath a beanie.

Looking at Gundham in the mirror, cheeks flush with pink at the domestic sight reflected. His boyfriend brushing his hair, both of them still draped in the cozy dishevel of sleep. Smiling far more dorkily than he’d like, Kaz doesn’t even notice his lovestruck expression, too focused on the other man.  ❝  … Huh?  ❞  Missing the question at first, color in his face grows, Kaz hastily answering through an embarrassed laugh,  ❝  O-Oh, yeah— Heh, I slept pretty good.  ❞  Slept pretty damn great.

❝  Could have had a few more hours though.  ❞  He adds, stifling another yawn before flashing a playful grin at Gundham,  ❝ You don’t exactly make it easy to get outta bed, y’know.  ❞     「 ☆ 」

[not-bcring]

「 ☆ 」 This entire stupid argument was his fault... Kazuichi KNOWS it was. He had gotten pissy about something that, upon closer introspection, wasn't really that big of a deal. Or a deal at all. Frankly, it would have been easier for everyone if he had shut his mouth and went about his own business instead of inputting himself into Gundham's. So naturally, Kaz found himself biting off the breeder's head— more akin to yapping like an unruly mutt —before he even realized he opened his stupid mouth.

A mistake that droned on far longer than it should have, fueled by Gundham's response like throwing gasoline onto what could have remained a mere matchstick's flame. Digging his heels in, Kaz fully intended on dying on a hill he hadn't even consciously stepped foot on. If only so Gundham couldn't have the satisfaction of forcing him to abandon it. That is... until the other's patience finally reached its limit— Kaz was starting to think it didn't have one —and he decided to add more truth to that unfortunate metaphor.

Despite the other's archaic manner of speaking— and a common lack of faith in Kazuichi's intelligence —he understands the threat challenge clearly. Breath catching in his chest, words die on the tip of his tongue. Reduced to a choked sound as the mechanic is forced to contend with the consequences of his actions. Fuck. Taken aback by how... for lack of a better phrase, taken aback he is at Gundham's demand. He shouldn't be. Kazuichi had known the breeder was this type of person. Even if the other tried to dispute his accusations at every turn. Nothing but another dangerous, violent man eager to use his fists to solve an issue.

Yet he has the gall to act offended whenever Kazuichi calls him out on it.

❝ Y-Yeah? What, you think I won't? ❞ He barks out, fists clenched at his sides, nails digging into his palms in an effort to keep them from shaking. Praying the tremor in his limbs can be mistaken for fury rather than fear, Kazuichi swallows the lump attempting to suffocate him— or perhaps save him from making any more foolish claims —and snaps in a single breath, ❝ You don't scare me! ❞ Yes, he does. Just as much as every other guy who ever decided to teach Kazuichi a lesson. Earned or not, he has learned ONE consistent thing from all of them.

Things are so much worse if he backs down.

... and Gundham knows that, doesn't he? Yeah. Of course he does. How could someone who so cavalierly suggests a fight NOT? It's clear in the dismissive ultimatum he offered. As if he already expects Kazuichi to take the offered escape. If Kaz backs down, then he's proving himself to be the pathetic sniveling coward everyone already knows thinks he is. That GUNDHAM thinks he is. He'll never be able to live it down. Every time he interacts with the breeder, he'll see it in his stupid smug expression. In those condescending fucking looks. That was his ploy all along, wasn't it? He never expected Kaz to fight him. He knows Kazuichi can't win.

And he knows Kazuichi knows it too... Fuck.

He's going to get his ass kicked.

Why didn't he just stay quiet and out of the way? Breath already quickening to a worrisome degree, tongue flits across his dry mouth, voice cracking as he takes an impulsive step forward, ❝ Fine! We'll settle this like fuckin' men! ❞ If words aren't enough, they'll use fists. That's how most arguments have to end. It doesn't matter what he says or even if he's right— not that he often is —because all that counts in the end is who can hurt the other person more. Who is willing to. Who hasn't already decided they've lost before the fight has even begun. Kaz isn't an idiot... He doubts he'll last long against someone like Gundam. But- that's okay.

He doesn't have to last long. He just has to prove he's willing to try at all.

That's the best someone like him can do.

Don't cry. Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry, don't FUCKING cry— Get beaten as much as he needs to. Take as many hits as Gundham decides to give. Kaz figures it'll be a lot, considering how much of an annoyance he can be to the breeder. Now he's given an excuse to get back at him for it, under the guise of this idiotic challenge. Curl up on the ground, cover his head and wait for it to be over if that's what it takes. But if he cries before it's even begun... He doesn't even want to think about how much worse that would feel. 「 ☆ 」

Open RP - Gundham Tanaka

"If you find such a fault in how I conduct myself, I invite you to a challenge of mutual combat to settle this leaden air that has formed around us. If you refuse, your words are deemed null and your presence within my own unessecary." In other words, fight him or get out.