#⧻ WILL YOU BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS ? ⁄ OPEN.

[heartfullofleeches]

Yan Lab Experiment Cow Hybrid + Farmer Reader [Commission]

Request: I’m thinking a farmer reader stumbles upon Carnis hiding in the barn absolutely terrified and [they] have to coax them inside with sweets and get them into a warm bath and untangle and braid their hair and take care of them

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: None, Fluff

-

It's about that time of the week again. Reserves plenty full as is. 

Jury's hung over whether the dentists in town despise you, or would sooner pat you on the back for your hand at delaying business. To think it all began with you being a pushover. The delight in those little eyes when you relented to the inquisitive nudges driven at your sides, panning off the last few bites of a candy bar you'd been nursing on that entire morning to the pesky bovine in exchange for a piece of mind. 

From that day on, you began noticing an increasing amount of wrappers discarded around your property correlating with frequent visits from the local children. To negate the overfeeding of your animals, or the greater offense of giving them something they shouldn't consume, you organized a section of your front porch for the kids to leave their offerings for you to inspect at hours your hands were free. Extra treats for your livestock, and for yourself when nobody was looking. 

Set up wasn't anything fancy- A tightly sealed bucket propped by the leg of an old rocking chair thrown in by the sellers of the land free of charge. Leaving the treats out in the open left them vulnerable to the grubby hands and teeth of a certain brand of trespasser on your property. With school back in session, you haven't bothered to sort through the cache as often as you during the winter or summer season, but that didn't mean there was any shortage of supply. The last time you checked, you barely managed to lift the container off the ground. Between this and the manual labor, your back is bound to be….

That's strange- 

Ground your weight into your legs in preparation for the heavy load, you lift the bucket from its spot on your porch with surprising ease - the shift in heft immediately clicking in your mind. Upon second examination, you discover one of the latches disjointed from its hinge; fingerprints evident in the sticky residue left behind. Too human to be a raccoon. Too large to be the doing of one of the younger kids. An older kid, or perhaps more shameful the work of an adult- As if you were any better.

“Now who's gone and stolen these kids' candy?” If that's anyone's job, it's yours. Couldn't have been too long ago. The container was stuffed to the brim the last time you dug through it not even two nights ago. With the freshness of the stains, there was a small chance they were still on your farm. If they were willing to take candy, there's no letting what else those sticky fingers might latch onto. 

Fortune being on your side, it didn't take long to spot the first clue. Descending the short flight of steps, foil crinkles beneath the bottom of your work boots. Peeling it from your heel, the fond memory of that sweet girl just down the road offering up her favorite chocolate to her favorite cow comes to mind. You make a mental note to remember the brand the next time you head to the store as you pocket the wrapper. 

Following in its wake, strips of torn packaging battle the evening wind - wedged snuggly betwixt the branches of a brush right outside your home. The next you locate beneath the wheel of your truck. More and more pop up in places you'd be last to check. Beneath the leg of a chair left out for guests. Inside a wheelbarrow with a hind wheel you've yet to fix- Parked centimeters away from the slightly ajar door of the barn. Your barn. 

In all your years as a rancher, you never left that door open. Too high a risk of the livestock wandering in and starting a fuss when you allowed them to roam free. Between their feed and the delicate machinery inside, it wasn't the safest place to leave them- Or anyone for that matter.

“Hello?!”

Prying the door open, your voice echoes in conjunction with the cry of its rusted joints. Silence is a common acquaintance within the four walls of that old barn. You'd trade that familiar friend for any inkling sound as you tentatively cross the threshold inside.

“Is anyone in here?! If you're the one who stole all that candy, I'm not mad! It's not safe for you to be in here!”

Though you were a little peeved, they didn't need to know that. It wasn't the end of the world either way I'd the rest of your belongings were untouched. 

The affirmation of your placidity towards the theft stirs something hidden under the blanket of shadows shrouding the interior of the barn. A whimper - coupled with the shuffling of feet from what you can decipher. 

“You… D-do you promise you're not mad?” 

That voice.. You can't recall a single one in town quite like it. How can a voice that hoarse and scratchy sound so…meek? Timid even. Edging on the tips of your toes, you peer around the wall of hay bales separating you - scrunching your brows as your eyes adjust to the darkness. 

“It's just candy. Easy to replace. Can't say the same for all the equipment around you, so why don't you come out?”

A hand slinks shyly into your feeding vision - shriveling back with the slightest movement on your part. What looks to be the tip of a bull's horn darts away out the corner of your eye - strangled moans and sniffles sounding from the abyss. 

“S-safe… I don't k-know… Don't know if it's safe to come out. Too s-soon… Afraid they'll find m-me.. Afraid you'll…” 

The voice hiccups - breathes spiking in intake as it curls in on itself. 

“Hey, Hey! Don't cry!” Your shout only startles the voice more, shaking as it babbles out-

“S-sorry… I was just so h-hungry… ‘m sorry… I know I'm b-bad for stealing, but please- Please don't m-make me go away… I'm sorry…”

Digging through your pocket, you fish out the crumpled wrapper, waving it in the air. 

“This is your doing from what I understand….”

The voice croaks, “y…yes…”

“If you come out, you can have another. It's not stealing if I give it to you. I just want to talk to you.”

No response. You start to question if they've dissipated into thin air until-

“You don't t-think?... You don't think I'm bad?”

“I don't know enough about you to have any opinion on you, but if someone's stealing because they're starving - they aren't the worst person in the world.”

Your eyes follow the upwards trajectory of the subtle outline of a figure as they stand - your head leant back in consideration of their full height. A leg sprouts from behind the hair - At first glance, it's tricky to render the layers of dirt caked onto their skin from the inch thick, dotted line sprawled up the length of their calf; disappearing beyond the skirt of their tattered medical gown. As their second foot enters your sight, a dangling cord catches your guard - swishing freely against the soil floor. Fuzzy, a large tuft of fur bristled at its end. 

It's a tail.

The person, if you can even call them that, avoids your curious gaze as your eyes shoot up to the horns atop their head. Through that thick head of hair, you can faintly see tears clinging for dear life to their lashes. You don't need to tell them what they've probably already heard. Not now anyway. You've extended your olive branch, best to leave questions for later. 

“Guess you weren't stealing at all to begin with. That bucket of candy was for the cows anyway.” 

Even in the gloom of the desolate barn, you can see the shine in their eyes. 

-

“So… Carnis? Is that your name?”

Suckling the same piece of caramel they picked out from your treasure trove of sweets, the cow bows their head in a nod.

“name… It's the one I p-picked out…my name… So, it's mine, right?” 

“Pretty sure that's how that works. Carnis, my name is Y/n.” 

“Y/n.” The hybrid’s ears hang rested at either side of his head. “That's a n-nice name. Pretty… O-or whatever works best for you. Nice to m-meet you… Y/n.”

“It's nice to meet you too, Carnis. Now that we're well acquainted and on the fast track at becoming friends, don't you think it's about time for you to get in the tub?”

“n…no?”

The blanket you gave him is better off as a wash rag for your car at this rate. It'll take a lot of elbow grease to get that filth out. Fortunately, it should come out far easier on human- cow skin, but you won't be able to find out with their reluctance on stepping foot in your bathroom. 

“I don't… like bathing. It h-hurts… My.. my.. caretakers scrubbed too hard. The water was too c-cool too….”

Their skin crawls at the recollection. It'd be cruel of you to laugh at what seems to be a trigger of some kind for them, but the disbelief at it all as you befuddled. 

“Too cold? Is that what you're scared of? Radiator needs to be fixed more often than I'd like, but I assure you the water is just fine at the moment. Here, take my hand. I'll show you.”

You've been kind so far. Given him food, a soft blanket. It isn't too soon to trust you, is it? Too risky…

“O-okay…”

Trailing behind you, you guide Carnis into the bathroom and over to the tub. The walls are white. That same porcelain shell they're all too familiar with, but - that's something more. A hairbrush. An assortment of dental products; crisp scent of toothpaste still evident in the sink. Shower currents fitted to your personal tastes. It wasn't just another bath. 

It was a home.

“H-hot!”

The cow rips their hand away as if they've just touched a hot stove. 

“Oh, I'm sorry- Too hot for you? We can let it cool while I get you something proper to ea-”

“It's okay!” Not realizing the volume of their voice, the hybrid slaps a hand over their mouth, whispering in a softer tone. “Just.. w-wasn't expecting that. It feels.. good. Can you… turn around?”

“Of course. I only intended on helping you with your hair. You've got so much, it'd be a shame to lose it if you aren't ready to part with it.”

His hair? The thought trickles from Carnis’ mind as the steam from the bath calls out to him, beckoning them in. They nearly forgot to remove their undergarments in the process, peeling them off at the last seconds before diving in. 

The wave of relief hits them like a bulldozer. They doubt they'd feel the pain of an event of that caliber in this state. The heat of the water envelopes them, blankets them in a perfect state of being. If the world ended right then and there, they would almost be okay with it.

“Carnis?”

A voice as welcoming as the water bubbling around them prevents them from accepting that fate.

“Carnis?”

Their eyes feel heavy. They haven't gotten a fair night of sleep since they escaped. When have they ever?

“Carnis.”

Just a few more seconds. Just let them dream…

“Carnis!”

“Wah!”

Water rains down on you as they flail about. It wasn't just a dream. They're in a bathtub. Inside a house. A nice house, owned by a nice human.

“S-sorry! Didn't mean too-”

“It's alright, these are my work clothes anyway. I'll take a quick shower once I'm done with you.”

Something ticks in their chest. Why waste more precious hot water separately when you could bathe with them?”

“Your hair is really matted, Carnis. I'm gonna try to wash it out and see what we can salvage. Is that okay with you?”

You haven't given them any reason not to trust you yet- “Mm…mmh..” 

“Now, just relax. I'm going to take care of you. This might sting a little because it's going directly on your scalp.”

Carnis has experienced worse than a little warm water- They barely flinch as you collect water in a small cup, bridging your palm at their forehead to prevent any from spilling into their eyes. A satisfied hum gurgles from the depths as Carnis sinks against the back of the tub. It didn't hurt much. Didn't hurt at all. It was the best thing they'd felt in a long time.

“You like that do you? Let's see how you like this-” Opening the bottle of shampoo, you pray you'll have enough as you lather your hands in the solution - working your fingers through their tangled mop of hair down to the roots. Purrs vibrate the water as you carefully scratch at their scalp - twitching ears flicking suds straight in the direction of your eyes.

“Carnis!” Shutting your eyes before the damage could be done, you can't fight the laughter this time around. “I can't wash your hair for you if I'm blind!” 

A garbled, “Sssorrrry”, is their best rendition of an apology. 

It wasn't easy. The workout your poor fingers received combing through that rat's nest surpassed the typical exertion working a day out on the field. Two even. You managed to locate the remainder of candy wrappers bits missing from the scraps you found outside. Not wanting to be total deaf weight, Carnis washes the rest of their body as you focus on their hair - falling beneath the spell of your magical fingers more often than not. 

At the end of several grueling hours, you throw your exhausted hands through the final ring of labor as you weave their mid-back length hair into a braid for ease, sitting on the toilet lid to relieve your aching knees and back of the strain from your awkward position at the side of the tub.

“What do you think?”

Carnis staring longing at himself in the mirror, tracing their fingers over your finished work. “Pretty… I'm… w..wait… Can b-boys be.. pretty?” 

“Don't see why they can't be.” A firm hand to their back straightens him like a pole. You stifle another giggle. “You're welcome to stay as long as you want. You don't have to start today, or tomorrow, but I would appreciate some help around the farm as long as you stick around. I'll go whip us up some real food to eat. Hope you're not too full on sweets.”

Your departure is immediate, yet Carnis finds himself gazing fondly at the carpet where you stood. They can stay… That means, your home is now his. And you… Where was a person like you sooner in their life? They were a complete stranger just a few hours ago, and you welcomed them into your home, your life with open arms.

Carnis doesn't know what he did to deserve a person like you, but they'll do anything to protect you. 

You, and their new home. 

[damneddamsy]

falling | joel miller x fem!oc (part vi)

summary: Joel's summer is the picture of ease. Until it isn't. It's really just a fuckload of hard work, patience and control.

a/n: hi! here you gooooo! i was kind of going through a really bad writer's block, overthinking a lot, and now here I am - through with this chapter and onto the next! one chapter at a time, everyone! we've got this :)

Summertime rolled into Jackson like a long, slow breath, and with it, the winter blues lifted.

The snow was long gone now, melted into the earth, feeding the rivers, softening the soil. The air had lost its bite, and traded it for something warmer, sweeter. The trees stretched their limbs, green and full, and the town itself seemed to breathe easier.

And Joel, for one, found himself wishing, just this once, that nothing would change. That the warmth would linger. That the sun would keep rising over the valley, spilling golden light across rooftops and filling every corner of his life with a feeling he hadn't let himself believe in for a long time—peace.

He had always loved the heat. He’d spent most of his life in it, the thick Texas sun pressing into his skin, soaking into his bones, of summers thick with cicada songs and the dry crackle of grass underfoot. Jackson didn't have the swelter—not as humid, not as relentless—but damn if he didn’t appreciate the way it felt against his back, the way it painted the world in gold.

And without realizing it, he had started marking the passage of time by more than just the shift in seasons.

By the little things.

By Maya’s laughter, louder and brighter than any sun, when he took her to walk through the first sparkle of fireflies in the front yard. How she had clung to his guiding, balancing fingers, her tiny feet stumbling over the grass, feathery curls bouncing, but she hadn't cared—too caught up in the golden flickers floating in the dusk. Her chubby hands reached out, fingers opening and closing in wonder, taking a tumble into the grass.

“Watch it now. C’mere, baby girl,” Joel had murmured, crouching beside her, cupping her tiny hands in his. “Gotta be real gentle. Or you'll smush the poor basta—bugs. Sorry.”

He had to watch his filthy mouth nowadays, she'd gone into the stage of babbling. You can imagine both their surprise when Maya's first words were, 'ma'. Maybe because he'd said it so much around her, praising her mama, calling her a 'mama's girl'. Yeah, that was on him.

Maya had blinked up at him, her dark eyes wide with understanding, before she turned her attention back to the soft glow drifting in front of her. This time, she didn’t grab. She just watched, waiting, patient.

And when a firefly landed—just for a moment—on her little palm, fluttering its wings, buzzing and blinking, she gasped so hard it turned into a giggle.

Joel chuckled, warmth spreading through his chest. “There you are. See that?” He brushed a kiss against her temple. “Takes a little patience, huh, sweetheart?”

Maya hummed in that distracted way of hers, but Joel barely noticed—because when he glanced toward the house, his breath caught.

Leela was watching them. She sat on the front lawn, cross-legged on a blanket, the faint glow of her old digital camera screen flickering in the dim light. Her hair had grown even longer, softer, strands of it slipping free from behind her ears, catching the wind.

She lifted the camera slowly, tilting her head, and framing the shot. The soft click of the shutter broke the hush of the evening, but she didn’t lower it right away.

It was all in the way she looked at him now that he understood, not like she was waiting for the other shoe to drop, but like she was starting to believe he wasn’t going anywhere.

And Joel—he was starting to believe it too.

It had taken him long enough. He’d spent decades convincing himself he didn’t deserve something like this. That he was meant for suffering, for loss, for violence. Maybe it had been true once. Maybe there had been no way out of it back then. He'd seen so much—more than any man should. He’d seen summer mornings with Sarah, bright and full of promise. He’d seen endless nights of blood and fire when he was nothing but a raider clawing his way through the world. He’d seen the ragged edges of humanity as he crossed state lines with Ellie and watched life fade in too many eyes. And for years, all he’d done was survive.

A survivor. A raider. A smuggler. A man who had lost too much, done too much. A father again, when he never thought he would be.

But somehow—all of that had led him here.

To a town in the mountains. To a big, white house across the street, he was trying like hell to keep from crumbling. To this woman who grew up in it, who somehow trusted his twisted instinct more than anyone in this town. To a little girl who reached for him when she was sleepy, whose laughter had rooted itself so deep in him he didn’t think he could tear it out if he tried.

Maybe now, now, he finally deserved it.

Sure, there were days when the work was hard. When patience ran thin, old aches settled deep in his bones. That was among the realizations he'd earned before he hit sixty: life was going to come at him hard, and he was going to face it with a fuckload of—

Hard work. Patience. Control.

Hard work had never scared him. He’d spent weeks on this patch of land, Leel's garden, breaking his back, kneeling in the dirt, coaxing life out of the frozen ground. Jackson’s winter had been particularly cruel, leaving the soil brittle and unforgiving. He had planted and re-planted, tested the earth, and tried again. It was the kind of work that made his knees ache, that left his hands raw and sore, but he’d be damned if he let this motherfucker win.

Then Leela had shown up, as she always did, just when he was about to curse this thing to hell.

"This shit's fucked, darlin'," he grunted to her, scowl deep and tools flying behind him. "Just get your food from the store like everyone else."

"You're giving up?" she asked, surprised.

He pointed an accusatory finger at her. "Don't push me, I'm done in as is."

She stood at the edge of the garden, arms crossed, head tilted as she considered his struggle with what could only be mild amusement. Then, without preamble, she pulled something out from behind her legs—a strange-looking contraption, cobbled from old scrap parts, with wires and tubes snaking out of a small metal canister.

"The hell is that?" he asked.

"Your saving grace," she said, adjusting a knob on the side, as if that explained everything. "Condenses moisture from the air and converts it into usable water for the plants. It’ll keep the soil hydrated."

Joel wiped the sweat from his brow, eyeing the thing like it might explode. "Christ, it looks like it's gonna—"

"Fix the garden before you throw your back out again." She set it down, adjusting the tubes. "You're welcome."

He huffed, shaking his head, but there was no bite in it. "Oh, you think you're hot shit."

Leela just laughed, kneeling down to secure the device in place. "Incredible, actually," she admitted, surveying her work. "I should show this to Maria. Work it out on a larger scale for the greenhouses."

Joel exhaled, resting his hands on his hips, grinning down at her. He watched her work, the way her fingers moved deftly, the way she wrinkled her nose in concentration. It was a look he was starting to recognize—the one she got when she let herself care about something. Always thinking about making it work. Always fixing things. How she made everything feel a little less impossible.

Less afraid, is what he would say. Like the walls she'd built around herself weren’t quite so thick anymore. That was mostly Maya, he figured. That baby had knocked the breath out of her, giving her that tangible reality to anchor to.

But some part of him wondered if it was him, too. Hoped, more like. He genuinely hoped.

Now patience... that was another thing entirely. It was never his strong suit. Not before. Not with himself, not with the world. And definitely not with this.

Maya was closing on eight months, and she still hadn’t started to attempt to crawl. Joel had tried. Hard. For weeks, he sat on the floor with her, scattered the toys just out of reach, and made an absolute fool of himself coaxing her forward.

"Come on, baby girl," he'd mutter to me, stretching his hands out, and tapping the mat in front of her. "You got this, honey, it's all in the knees."

Nothing. She’d just blink up at him with those big, brown, knowing eyes, then drop her gaze to something far more interesting—her own fingers, a loose thread on her overalls, the tiny fabric ear of the stuffed rabbit in her lap.

And when she finally did react, it was to lift her arms toward him, her little hands opening and closing, silently demanding to be picked up. No movement.

Joel would sigh, rubbing a hand down his face. "You ain't even tryin’, Maya."

She'd giggle at him, that noise that would've made his whole day if it weren't for the cruelty of the situation.

Leela, of course, found the whole thing funny. “She’ll get there eventually,” she’d say, watching from the couch, one leg tucked beneath her. "You're making it a bigger deal than it is."

But he wanted her to get there. He wanted to see her move, explore, and chase after things the way the other kids did. It would be nice to not go find her in her crib every day, just have her come to greet him at the door. Maybe it was stupid, maybe it didn’t matter in the long run, but Joel wasn’t great at waiting. He never had been.

And then, one day, Maya just—skipped the whole damn thing.

It wasn’t even some big, dramatic moment. There was no warning, no coaxing, no slow buildup. One second, she was on the ground, surrounded by her stuffed animals, gnawing on her own fingers like usual. And the next...

Joel caught movement in the corner of his eye as he lazed back on the couch one afternoon. He almost didn’t believe it at first. His breath stalled, brow furrowing as he lowered the magazine in his hands. The fuck?

Maya was standing. Standing.

Maya was on her feet by the coffee table. Teetering, swaying—somehow balancing, her fingers flexing like she was bracing herself. Her eyes were locked on him, her mouth rounded to that curious 'o', and he swore he saw it—something click into place in that clever, tiny brain of hers.

Then, she moved.

One wobbly foot forward. Then another.

Joel barely had time to push off the couch before she stumbled, catching herself in a squat, then rocking forward, lunging with a squeal—straight into his arms.

His hands came up automatically, steadying her, lifting her up before she could fall. And Jesus Christ, he could hardly breathe.

Maya just grinned at him, eyes bright, cheeks flushed. Her legs still twisted off-balance, still getting the hang of it.

Joel let out a stunned breath, then laughed—actually laughed, loud and bright, chest tight with something so big, so full, he thought he might burst.

"You’re my little miracle, baby. Did you just walk?"

He lifted her higher, pressing quick, tiny kisses to the side of her head, barely able to stop himself, overwhelmed with pride, with love. She squealed, giggling, her legs kicking, completely unbothered by the fact that she’d just broken every rule in the parenting books.

Joel kept her close, his nose brushing against her soft curls as he swayed a little, still trying to wrap his head around what had just happened. His fingers spanned across her tiny back, feeling the rapid, excited little breaths against his chest.

"Look at you," he murmured, pressing another kiss to her temple, softer this time. "My beautiful, brilliant, big girl."

Maya made a triumphant little noise, wriggling in his arms like she wanted down, but he wasn't ready to let go yet. Not yet.

"You really went and did that, huh?" he said, pulling her back just enough to look at her. Her dark eyes were wide and full of mischief, her grin open and still gummy. She lifted her hands, smacking them against his cheeks before babbling something that sounded almost like words.

Joel huffed a laugh, shaking his head. "Yeah, I’m real proud of you, too, sweetheart."

She beamed like she understood. Like she knew what she did was something big. And maybe it was nothing to her. Maybe it was just another thing she figured out, just another step forward.

But for Joel—it was everything.

He tightened his hold, pressing his forehead to hers for a second, just breathing her in. "Ain't nothing gonna stop you now."

Maya just giggled, happy as anything. Then—before he could stop her—she suddenly launched herself backwards, her trust in him so complete that it nearly took him out.

Joel’s heart stopped. "Jesus—alright, okay, I gotcha," he said, catching her easily, pulling her back upright. "Goddamn, baby girl, maybe let’s work up to that, huh?"

Maya, completely unbothered, laughed that wild, open-mouthed laugh like she thought it was the funniest thing in the world.

Joel groaned, shifting her in his arms. "Yeah, you think you're real funny, don't ya?" He pressed another kiss to her cheek. "Gonna be the death of me."

Maya just patted his chest, her tiny fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, tucking her head beneath his chin, already winding down.

She was Leela's, alright. That genius baby shit, it was all her mama. And patience had actually paid off for the first time in his life.

And when it came to control, that wasn't exactly an issue to him. He was a pro. Control was something Joel had spent a lifetime learning, but damn if it wasn’t tested now.

As summer in Jackson deepened, it was hot, the kind of heat that slowed people down, and sent them ducking into the shade, fanning themselves on porches. The days stretched long, the sky burning orange before it faded into dusky purple.

But Leela, she didn’t soften for anything.

She didn’t even seem to notice how the heat changed things, how it made people shed layers, roll up sleeves, and loosen collars. She was practical and efficient. And oblivious.

Which is why she had no fucking idea what she was doing to him.

It was the afternoon he walked past the garage and caught sight of her. The Maranello was parked inside, the hood lifted, and tools scattered across the workbench. And there she was, elbow-deep in the engine, wielding a turnscrew with the ease of someone who'd done this a hundred times.

And fuck him, but this was hell.

The top she wore had no back. Just thin straps tied at her neck and a bow at the arch of her spine, flimsy printed material clinging to her like it was barely there at all. Her cutoffs were—Christ, barely shorts. She'd obviously grown out of it. Joel was willing to bet there was more fabric in Ellie’s bandanas than what she had on. The denim rode high on her hips, long legs bare, glistening with sweat, sun-warmed and golden in the sunlight.

Joel immediately looked away, eyes darting to the street, checking to see if anyone else was getting an eyeful of her. No one. Dead end, of course. Thank fuck.

And then, just to twist the knife, she called him over. "Joel, can you give me a hand here please?"

Oh, yeah. He could.

He shouldn’t.

But he would.

No matter how much he told himself to walk away, to not look, to not think—he still found himself moving, closing the space between them, bracing for the next hit to his self-control.

"The wrench. Half inch," she asked, absentminded, like she had no idea he was about two seconds away from losing his shit.

Joel blindly reached for the nearest tool—only to realize at the last second that it was a screwdriver.

"Joel," she called again, her brows lifted. "I said wrench."

"Right." He grabbed the wrench and didn't think to check the size before forcing it into her palm, awkwardly clearing his throat. "There you go. Wrench."

She hummed her approval, adjusting her stance, bracing a foot on the frame of the car. And then—

She stretched. Sweet mercy. Gleaming arms raised, body lengthening, the hem of her top lifting just enough to show off the faint line carved down her stomach, the soft, impossible dip above her navel, all that adorable pregnancy belly he'd adored gradually yielded to whatever tormenting hell this was.

Joel swore his vision blurred for a second. It had been too fucking long since he's seen a girl like this, felt what it would do to a man. Especially a girl like her, fine as hell, smart as shit, belonged on a Hustler mag—she was light years out of his league.

The wrench nearly slipped from his fingers, a sharp metal clang against the side of the car.

Leela startled, lowering her arms. "What's wrong?"

Joel cleared his throat again. "Nothin'. The heat is all."

She blinked at him, then glanced at the wrench in his hand. "Are you sure you don't want to lie down for a bit?"

"Peachy," he muttered.

She frowned but let it go, turning back to the engine, her fingers deftly working over the machinery. Joel exhaled, trying—really trying—to shake it off, to focus on anything but the way her top barely clung to her frame, the way the sunlight played in the stray wisps of hair sticking to her temple.

He wasn’t sixteen. Wasn’t some green kid who didn’t know how to keep his damn head straight. But right now? His thoughts weren’t running straight at all. They twisted, turned, caught on little details—the smooth expanse of her back, the dark freckles, the faint curve of her stomach, the way her thick braid draped over one shoulder into the engine, shifting every time she moved.

And then—something else hit him.

She was comfortable. Relaxed.

She was here, standing out in the open, close to him, wearing whatever the hell she wanted, no fear, no hesitance. Sure, it shouldn’t have been a big deal. But it was.

Because he knew what she had been through, just a vestige of it. Knew how easily this could’ve gone another way, how some people never stepped outside without layers of fabric shielding them, without constantly looking over their shoulders. But Leela—she stood here in nothing but a thin top, cut-off denim, and skin kissed golden by the summer sun. Focused. Happy. Unapologetic. Free. Finally.

She had every reason to hide. To shrink herself down, to be small, to disappear. But she hadn’t. And fuck, if he wasn’t proud of her for that. He was goddamned pleased of who she was standing as in front of him today. A fighter.

"Joel?"

His head snapped up. "Yeah."

She was watching him now, eyes questioning, adjusting the strings at her neck. "Is it grease? Where?"

He blinked, needing a second to catch up. There was a smudge—dark against the honeyed warmth of her skin, just by her temple.

"Uh—just there," he muttered, reaching for a rag off the workbench and holding it out.

She took it, swiping at the spot. "Gone?"

Joel let out a quiet laugh, shaking his head. He stepped closer, reaching out before he could think better of it, catching the stubborn smear near her jaw. He pressed the cloth there, slow and careful, his fingers grazing along the soft curve of her face.

Leela stilled. His hand lingered.

He could feel the warmth of her skin beneath his fingertips, the faint pulse of her breath. Those parted lips, chapped yet tempting. There wasn't a moment when he was alone that he wasn't thinking about this, why patience and control were just two skank bitches in his life right now.

He pulled back. Cleared his throat. "Gone now."

Leela smiled—soft, effortless, damn near dangerous. Joel exhaled, forcing his focus anywhere but her mouth. That mouth just waiting for his. He was really losing it.

"You uh," he waved vaguely at her, at the whole situation, "you like this kinda stuff?"

She glanced down, playing with the hem of her top, twisting the delicate crochet between her fingers. Then she nodded at him with a carefree smile. Like she really, really had no clue. It was fucking painful now, how she'd truly grown up like a babe in the woods, guileless.

"My mom made a bunch of these for me from an old blanket," she told him, proud. "They're the best."

Joel swallowed hard, rubbing at the back of his neck. Goddamn it. "Yeah. I like 'em, too."

Leela arched a brow, smirking now. "I think you can pull it off."

He narrowed his eyes. "Ha-ha, I forgot how to laugh."

Still grinning, she wiped her hands down on the towel, then reached up and shut the hood with a satisfying clang. She patted it twice, dusting off her palms. "So. Your early birthday present is finally done."

Joel squinted at her. "You're about too many months ahead. And you can't just gift me a damn convertible."

She tapped the hood again, stepping back with that quiet, smug satisfaction he was quickly learning to recognize. "Too late to complain, it's yours. You can take her out for a spin whenever you like. I'll give her a few years until we call it."

He dragged his gaze from her to the car, then back again. Jesus. She really was something else.

He nodded toward her, feeling braver today. "D'you come with the car?"

Leela just laughed, tossing the towel onto the workbench. "More of a solo experience, right? You, the accelerator, and the whole of Jackson."

Joel huffed, shaking his head. He wasn't so sure about that.

And it was nothing, really, this overarching thing between them. That was what he told himself sometimes. It wasn't something they talked about, and gone above board. No you're-mine-I'm-yours-bullshit. It didn't have a name. But they both knew what it was.

Some passing moments. A habit. A reflex. A touch. The first time, she flinched. The second time, she tensed. That was as far as his confidence around her got.

One evening, Leela was in the kitchen, standing at the counter, tying up a bag of flour. A smudge of it dusted the curve of her wrist, stark white against her skin.

Joel had walked in for something—what, he couldn’t even remember now, she just seemed to rob him of sense—but his hand found her shoulder as he passed behind her.

Light. Barely even pressure. Just a touch to let her know he was there, that he was moving past.

His fingers skimmed warm skin, the edge of the bow on that backless top of hers.

She turned, just slightly, just enough that she caught the tail end of his touch as it slipped away.

And this time, she just let it happen. Let him happen. The third time's the charm.

Joel paused. Not for long—just a breath, feeling that rigidness in his muscles, before he kept moving, kept the moment from stretching until she noticed.

It had been months. Months of patient, careful inches. Of her giving just enough room, him taking just enough to not make her pull away. He never let himself ask for more than what she was willing to give, and for a long time, that had been next to nothing.

But lately—lately, it had been more.

A guiding press at her back when they crossed paths in the hall. The little brush of his fingers at her wrist when he handed her Maya. The curve of her waist, the fleeting press of his palm there, when he reached around her in the kitchen. A cheer-up pat on her cheek or gentle ruffle of her hair if she'd been feeling down the whole day. A small goodbye kiss on her forehead before he left for his place, although that had been a fairly recent advancement.

The way she seemed to grow into his touches made him feel like he was finally getting somewhere, like seeing a wound healing from the inside out—gradual and raw.

He turned back to her and watched as she dusted the flour off her hands, fingers dragging down her pants. Her hair was a little messy, a few strands falling loose against her cheek, and she exhaled through her nose, eyes on the counter, murmuring, “Did you need something, Joel? You hungry?”

He blinked. He didn’t, not really. He’d come in here for—hell, he still couldn’t remember. A drink, maybe. Or to check on Maya, who was napping in the other room.

Instead, he was standing here like an idiot, happier than a pig in shit over something as simple as touching her shoulder. And she didn’t even notice.

He cleared his throat. “Nah,” he muttered, eyes flicking away. “Just… came to see you.”

Leela breathed a small laugh. “You're checking my kitchen skills now?”

He huffed, crossing his arms. “More like makin’ sure I don't end up poisoned. Not a great way to go.”

She gasped in mock offence, swiping a bit of flour from the counter and flicking it toward him. Joel stepped back, lips twitching, but not before a dusting of white landed on the front of his shirt.

“Real mature, darlin',” he muttered.

Leela’s smirk deepened, her eyes dragging slow over him, lingering on the flour-streaked fabric. Then, like she meant to do it, she reached out—just a little—and brushed the specks off with the tips of her fingers. Soft. Barely there. Suddenly too aware of the lightest pressure of her touch.

"I promise it's edible," she teased. Then she took a step back, patting her hands together like nothing had happened. "Pecan sandies?"

"Jesus, you're killin' me," he breathed.

Joel shook his head as he forced himself to shift on his feet, to look away, to do something before he forgot how to fucking breathe. He wasn’t gonna make this a thing. Wasn’t gonna linger and make her see whatever was sitting heavy in his chest. But the moment stuck with him anyway.

He didn’t play down the past few months when it came to Leela's maternity either. To how things had changed.

She was different now—maybe not in the big, obvious ways, but in the calm, careful ones. The ones that mattered. She didn’t move like she was bracing for impact anymore, didn’t hesitate before touching Maya, like she was afraid she’d do it wrong or stain her. She held her like she was hers, her greatest effort and creation, and somewhat in love.

She was actually there.

One evening, he came up the stairs after patrol, shoulders aching, boots heavy against the old wood. He was expecting the usual—Maya fussing, Leela humming under her breath as she rocked her warily, quiet and restrained.

But when he reached the nursery, he paused in the doorway. And he listened.

Because, this time, Leela was talking to her daughter. Soft and pensive, her voice weaving through the dim glow of the room, smoothing over the walls like a balm.

Joel leaned against the frame, arms crossing over his chest, and just took it in.

She was sitting on the floor, legs crossed, back against the crib, holding Maya close. Her little fingers were curled into the fabric of her mother's top, dark curls sticking to her forehead.

Leela didn’t even notice him there.

“...I’m from,” he heard her halfway murmur, her thumb brushing absently along Maya’s back, “we had this beach.”

He’d never heard her talk about where she was from before. It was like he was piecing together a puzzle, filling in the blanks she’d never given him before.

“I don’t remember much,” she continued, almost to herself. “I was too young. But I remember the water. The smell of it. How the sand stuck to my skin. The tiny crabs.”

Maya yawned, pressing her face against Leela’s shoulder.

“I used to find seashells every time I went,” she went on, voice dropping to something almost fond. “And I’d poke a hole through them, string them together, and make these necklaces. Tourists used to buy them off me—sometimes for more than they were worth. Ten dirhams, twenty for some.” A small smile played at the edge of her lips. “I thought I was a genius.”

Joel swallowed.

This—this was new. Something she had never shared before.

He could almost see it. The version of her that existed back then, back before she'd come into this home of hers. A little girl on the shore, knees in the sand, sifting through bits of broken shells and sea glass, tucking the best ones into her pockets. That was the part that got him.

"I'll make you one someday," she promised, her lips brushing the crown of Maya’s head. "Just for you."

And Joel just stood there, his grip tightening around the doorframe, that satisfaction warm in him, in a way he didn’t have words for.

But then there were the other moments. The hard ones that came to bite the good ones in the ass.

The times when Maya got too fussy, too inconsolable, when the crying turned into something high-pitched and unrelenting, and Leela just froze up.

As if she didn’t know what to do. Or she wasn’t sure she should do anything. That kind of fear wasn’t what practice fixed. Wasn’t something that just went away with time.

So, Joel was always there to take over.

She’d pass Maya off to him, hands shaking just a little, eyes darting away like she was ashamed. Like she hadn’t spent months loving this little girl in the ways that mattered. Like she was resigning herself to failure.

And Joel would sigh, settling the baby against his chest, rocking her instinctively. He pressed a kiss to her temple, rubbing slow, steady circles against her back.

Maya would calm and Leela would turn away, busying herself elsewhere, relieving her tension with calming breaths.

"You’re doin’ good, mama," Joel would murmur to her, every time, without fail. More than a reassurance, it was a conviction, to remind her that she was still moving forward, right now she'd just hit pause.

Leela let out a breath that sounded almost like a laugh, shaking her head. "You don’t have to keep saying that."

"Ain’t sayin’ it just to say it," he triumphed.

Joel didn’t push. Didn’t tell her she was wrong, didn’t try to fix it. Because later—when Maya was calm, warm and sleepy again—Leela would come back.

She always did. And she'd try again.

X

Safe to say, at this very moment, Joel was more than content. He could pass on happy, knowing he'd seen this.

That was a rare thing these days, fleeting, it was best to catch that moment before it was gone. But right now—right here—he was.

The night air was warm, laced with the scent of grilled meat and charred corn, the last remnants of the summer morning fading under a lazy evening breeze, the sound of laughter curling up into the sky. They were all sprawled out on the porch, boots propped on railings, chairs tipped back, the easy lull of conversation moving between them.

Tommy had brought out cold beers for everyone, and Ellie was half a bottle in, already on a roll, spilling some wild gossip about a couple in town at top speed.

Joel sat back in his chair, stretching his legs out in front of him, one ankle crossed over the other. His beer bottle was solid in his palm, condensation slipping down the dark glass.

It was nice, this. Real. Complete.

But, Joel wasn’t really listening to anything. Not with her sitting right there.

Leela had settled a little ways from him, close enough that the light from the porch lamp caught the curve of her shoulder, the way her skin gleamed faintly from the heat of the day. She kept to herself mostly, only chiming in when she needed to, but she was present, body and mind. She was showing up.

A while ago, she wouldn’t have. Would’ve found some excuse, some reason to keep to herself, to slip away before anyone got too close. Now she was right next to him, stealing bites of that spicy sausage off his plate. Tearing a piece apart with her fingers, chewing slowly, licking the oil from her thumb while listening to Ellie.

Without giving it much thought, he reached over, grabbing his plate and leaning forward. He loaded it up—more sausage, a good selection of meats, some of that grilled corn Ellie had raved about earlier—and set it onto her lap.

Leela blinked, looking down, then up at him.

He didn’t bother with anything more, he knew what a single glimpse of that smile would do to him. Just took a sip of his beer.

And for a second—just a second—he let himself think. If things were a little different, if she were more comfortable, if he were more transparent—he’d have her closer. Right up against him, stretched over his lap, arm hanging off his shoulder, laughing with everyone, his palm stroking against the bare skin of her back, brushing lazy kisses wherever he could. Just hose down and be with her. As his.

The thought was so real, that it almost hurt.

So, he pushed that away to focus on Ellie, leaning against the porch railing, who was already mid-story, voice high with amusement. “I’m serious, this guy’s been sneaking out past curfew every single night, and you won’t believe who he’s been meeting—”

“Y'know,” Tommy cut in, tipping his beer toward her, “for someone who breaks curfew at least once a week, you sure got a lot to say about other people doin' it.”

Ellie ignored him. “Anyway, rumour is, he’s been—”

He let her trail off in the background, his attention pulled elsewhere. His eyes were on Maya, who had flat-out refused to stay in anyone’s lap for more than a minute.

The moment they sat down to eat, she’d wriggled free, her little legs determined to carry her across the porch, across the room, across everywhere she could reach. It didn’t seem to matter that she still wobbled on her feet, still stumbled more than she walked. She was going.

Maria chuckled when Maya toddled over to the newspaper stand, babbling the same sound under her breath, gripping the edge before promptly yanking a few pages out. All that curiosity only made her more mischievous.

“Look at her go,” she said, shaking her head. “God, she really is amazing, Leela. I can't believe she’s walking so soon.”

"It's all Joel," Leela deflected easily, waving a hand. "He's been with her all along."

Joel nudged her ankle with his foot, light but firm.

Leela glanced at him, and he shot her a look. There she goes again. Diminishing herself. Like she hadn’t spent these few months, killing herself trying, rocking that girl to sleep, teaching her how to eat with her tiny fingers, soothing every cry, every nightmare.

Joel knew. So he gave her a look that said as much.

Leela rolled her eyes at him, but he caught the twitch of a smile at the corner of her lips before she turned away.

Across the porch, Tommy wiggled his fingers from his chair. “C’mere, sweetheart. Wanna come to Uncle Tommy?”

Maya, still clutching a crumpled newspaper, gave him that big, gummy grin, hands flapping excitedly as she stumbled forward, her legs moving before the rest of her could catch up. All excitement and cute, pink booties that Joel had picked out for her tonight.

Tommy caught her easily, scooping her up with one arm and blowing a loud raspberry against her belly. Her laughter rang out, bright and breathless, tiny hands grasping at his beard.

Maria leaned back in her chair, stretching her legs out in front of her. “You know, she’s gonna start running soon.”

Tommy groaned dramatically, still holding Maya on her hip. She squealed, wriggling against his hold. “Don’t say that, darlin', please. Let me enjoy this wobbly stage before I gotta see Joel huffin’ and puffin’ after her down the street.”

Maria smirked. “Might be good for him. He could use the exercise.”

Joel narrowed his eyes at her, pointing the mouth of his bottle at her. “You wanna say that again, ma'am?”

She threw up her hands, grinning, and mimed zipping her mouth.

Ellie, who had been leaning against the railing, picked at a splinter in the wood before glancing up with a smirk. “Yeah, keep complaining, but Maya’s got more stamina than you fogeys already.”

Tommy scoffed, bouncing Maya once to make her giggle. “I know how much trouble you were, and you were already, what, fourteen when we met you?”

Ellie gasped, clutching her chest dramatically. “I am a constant fuckin' delight.”

Maria snorted, shaking her head. “Mhm. A regular ray of sunshine.”

Ellie pointed at Maya. “She gets it. Baby girl's a menace already, I can tell. Future troublemaker in the making.”

Maya, as if proving Ellie’s point, grabbed a fistful of Tommy’s beard and yanked. Tommy let out a strangled noise, drawing out a laugh from everyone.

Joel just sat back, taking it all in. Yeah. This was good. That warmth. The one that came with nights like this. Family. A strange, messy, complicated kind of family. It was the end of the world anyway, even simple was difficult.

When Tommy abruptly stood up, Joel clocked it instantly.

The movement was purposeful, a hasty departure. Tommy adjusted Maya against his hip, bouncing her lightly as she tugged at his collar. But it wasn’t just him standing—it was why. He was obviously staying out of this; smart man.

Joel’s stiffened. Something was coming. Going to happen.

“You need a change, baby girl?” Tommy muttered, though his voice was casual. Too casual. He rubbed at Maya’s back, kissed the top of her dark curls, and then turned toward the house.

No one questioned it. And that was the part that put Joel even more on edge.

Ellie slid into Tommy’s empty seat, dragging her bottle with her. Maria reached over to rub aimless, soothing circles on her back, her expression set, unreadable.

Joel’s grip tightened around his beer. “Alright,” he muttered. “What?”

Maria exhaled. Slow. Then came out with it.

“The distillation system at the dam is busted.”

Joel leaned back in his chair, pressing the bottle to his lips. He took a slow, deliberate sip, letting the words settle, pretending he gave a damn about the cold burn of the beer down his throat.

Maria kept going. “Overheating. Something’s jammed up real bad, and we’re looking at maybe two weeks’ worth of fresh water before we run dry.”

Joel lowered his bottle, exhaling sharply through his nose.

“And?” he asked flatly.

Maria’s gaze flicked to Leela. Leela—who hadn’t moved, hadn’t spoken, too intent on learning about this issue.

“This is her expertise,” Joel continued, waving a hand. “Get her over there, let her fix it. Problem solved.”

And sure enough, Leela was already straightening up, nodding, looking like she was ready to knuckle down and get to it.

But Maria wasn’t done.

She shifted. “It’s bad,” she admitted. “But—”

Joel set his beer down. There was always a ‘but.’

Maria glanced at Leela again. “That new system you mapped out a while back, the one we didn’t put into place ‘cause of the lightning battery project—”

Joel sighed, rubbing a hand over his jaw. He knew where this was going.

Maria looked at him now. Directly. She was shooting this point blank. “We need new parts,” she said. “And no one knows exactly what we need except for you.”

And there it was. The fucking catch.

Joel went completely still. Maria wasn’t asking him anything. She was telling him. And she knew exactly how he was going to react.

Ellie was the first to break the silence. “Yeah, no. That’s a stupid idea.”

Maria turned to her, brows lifting. “Is it?”

“I’m serious.” Ellie sat forward in her chair. “You want her to go out there? For what—some metal scraps? Jesse and I took down a bloater—a fucking bloater, Maria—five days ago, not too far from the lookout point. Jesus, we'll figure something out.”

“Ellie.” Joel’s voice was quiet, but firm.

Ellie clamped her mouth shut, eyes darting to him. But she waited a moment before she went on anyway.

“Then get the list of shit you need and send someone else over,” Ellie snapped. “Me and Joel and someone who—”

“There isn't anyone else,” Maria cut in.

Ellie’s mouth opened again, ready to strike. Then shut. Quietly looked away, jaw tight, seething.

Joel exhaled, finally moving from his stiff stance, elbows on his knees. He stared at the ground. At the dark wooden planks beneath his boots. His thoughts twisted, tangled. He knew one thing. He didn’t like this at all.

Maria sighed, rubbing her temple. “I get it. I do. But we don’t have time to waste. We need this up and running, and no one here has Leela’s knowledge.”

Leela finally spoke. “I'll do it. I can do it.”

That was the last straw. Joel snapped.

He pushed up from his chair, the scrape of his boot loud against the porch floor.

Everyone turned.

He ignored them, muttering, “Need a goddamn drink,” and turned for the house.

The screen door creaked as he pushed through, but he barely heard it slam over the pounding in his ears.

He knew himself. Knew his temper, knew the way it burned low and controlled until it wasn’t—until it came bursting out in a way that never did anyone any good. Knew what he was capable of when it came to this. When it came to her.

So he walked. Put distance between himself and the porch, between Maria’s careful wording, Tommy’s orchestrated retreat, Ellie’s immediate reaction, and Leela’s quiet resolve.

Because he knew exactly what the hell this meant. And he didn’t fucking like it.

"Joel, c'mon!" Ellie tried to call out to him. He wasn't ready for that just yet.

Inside, the house was dim, lantern lights flickering against the walls. The voices from the porch dulled to a murmur, but it wasn’t enough to drown out the words already hammering in his skull.

Joel barely registered Tommy leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed, watching him like he’d expected this. Maya was at the coffee table amusing herself, small fingers pushing at a coaster, flipping it up, letting it fall.

Joel blew out a breath, stalked toward the shelf he'd frequented too many times, and grabbed the bottle.

Tommy's speech was coming, he could feel it. But he was in no mood to hear it.

“Joel—”

“No,” he cut in sharply. He yanked out the cork with his teeth and poured himself a glass. “You don’t get to stand there actin’ like this makes sense.”

Tommy sighed. “It does make sense. You just don’t wanna hear it.”

Joel scoffed, shaking his head. “You hear yourself? You really think this is a good idea?”

“We can handle it.”

“We—she’s got a kid. A baby.”

Tommy’s jaw tightened. “She’s survived on her own for years, man. She knows what she’s going up against.”

Joel slammed the bottle onto the counter. Maya who had wandered over from surface to surface, stood by Tommy's leg now, fist in her mouth, staring up at Joel. His anger faltered for a moment.

“You know that doesn't mean shit,” he whispered instead.

Tommy’s lips pressed into a line, like he wanted to say more, but he held back.

Joel let out a slow breath, shaking his head. “You were standin’ right there,” he muttered. “You heard her. She just up and agreed, no fuss. Like she doesn’t have somethin’ to lose. Fucking pisses me off.”

Tommy exhaled sharply, stepping away from the doorframe, closer. “And what—you think you’re the only one who gives a damn about that?”

Joel’s hand curled around his glass, grip tightening.

Tommy watched him, voice dropping lower. “I get it. You’re scared.”

Joel laughed—sharp, humourless. “Don’t put words in my mouth.”

Tommy shook his head, rubbing a hand down his face. “She ain’t a prisoner, brother. You can’t keep her locked up just ‘cause it makes you feel better. She's contributing, and I appreciate it.”

Joel clenched his jaw, looking away, looking anywhere but at his sly fucking brother. He wasn't keeping her locked up. She's free to roam about Jackson to all her heart's content. Anywhere outside those gates was death.

Tommy let out a short breath. “One day, Joel. That’s all it is. A quick trip, in and out. Not even too far. Colten Bay, where the cars are at. We get the parts, we get out.” He pointed between them. “If anyone can pull this off safely, it's the two of us.”

Joel swallowed down a mouthful of whiskey, felt the burn tear through his chest, but it didn’t do a damn thing to loosen the tension gripping him. His first drink in weeks, so really—Maria and Tommy can burn in hell.

He didn’t fucking care that it was one day. Didn’t care that Maria had spun it like a need instead of a gamble. Didn’t care that everyone in Jackson seemed to forget that time had nothing to do with luck. That all it took was one second, one wrong move, one stray bullet, one clicker—

Joel’s fingers curled around the glass, his grip too tight, his knuckles white.

Tommy glanced toward the window while bending down to pick up Maya, and Joel’s eyes flicked there without thinking.

Leela was still on the porch, still sitting in that chair, but she wasn’t listening to Maria anymore.

She was watching him.

Her gaze was indistinct. She wasn’t pissed. Wasn’t waiting for him to come back out and start swinging words at her. He knew she was trying to figure him out, trying to make sense of the way he’d walked out, the way he always did when something didn’t sit right in his chest.

Joel turned away first, the whiskey still burning at the back of his throat.

Nothing fucking mattered. What mattered was that it was her, facing this head-on.

And he wasn’t convinced of a goddamn thing.

X

Joel and Leela walked on home in silence, and it wasn't the good kind.

The wind had died down some, the night settling thick and warm over Jackson. It was quiet this time of night—just the occasional rustling of leaves, and the distant bark of a dog.

Maya waddled ahead of them on the road, booted feet scuffing the pavement, hands out like she was steadying herself on air. She still stumbled, still tottered every few steps, but she always caught herself. Every so often, she’d stop short, crouch down with intense concentration, and pluck some tiny thing from the asphalt—a loose button, a round pebble, a twig stripped bare. Each discovery was met with a moment of serious inspection before she turned to Leela, holding out her closed fist.

Leela didn't rush her. She crouched every time, let Maya show her whatever treasure she found, murmured little words of encouragement as she carefully tucked them away in her fists.

Joel watched them, hands shoved deep into his jacket pockets.

Maya was still tireless, determined to walk herself out, and they let her. Better she exhausted herself and slept without waking through the night.

Joel let the silence hang between them a while longer, turning over the conversation from earlier, rolling it like a stone in his palm. It sat uneasy in his gut.

He hadn’t said a thing since she told them all. Since she made it clear that she was going on that supply run, no matter what he thought about it.

And maybe that was the problem. Maybe that was what had him feeling like his ribs were closing in on him, like he had no way out anymore.

Because she wasn’t asking. She wasn’t waiting for his approval, for his permission, for the fight he was expecting. She had made up her mind, and all he could do was either accept it or lose his goddamn mind over it.

Joel let out a slow breath through his nose, rubbing a hand along his neck. His gaze flicked to Leela, who walked beside him now, letting Maya waddle ahead, her little hands clutching another button and a leaf—all prizes from her slow road exploration.

He envied her, in a way. The simplicity of Maya. The way her world was still so small, so safe. She didn’t know what was waiting beyond Jackson’s gates. Didn’t know about the things that hunted in the dark. Didn’t know what it was like to lose the people you loved. Not just yet.

The silence stretched between them as they reached the end of the street. It wasn’t tense, not really, but there was something unspoken lingering between them, thick as the humid summer air around them. Maybe Leela thought he’d just walk away, and head back to his own place without another word. Hell, maybe he thought he would too.

But his feet didn’t turn.

Instead, he followed her up the steps of her house, moving in quiet tandem with her. The porch light flickered faintly above them, casting long shadows, and softening the sharp edges of the night.

Leela reached for the doorknob, hesitating for just a second, as if half-expecting him to stop. Then, she glanced at him from the corner of her eye—surprise flickered there, barely a spark before she smothered it, burying it deep where he wouldn’t see.

She didn’t ask why he was still here. Didn’t call him on it. Like she’d already made peace with the idea that he’d walk away. That he always did when things got too tangled in his head. When he got too pissed to think straight.

“Joel,” she tried anyway, quiet. Not pushing. Not pleading. Just saying his name, like she needed to acknowledge him still standing beside her.

He shook his head. Stepped inside after her. “We'll talk after, darlin'.”

Their playful baby girl was still awake, cradled in her mama's arms now, her chubby fingers curled around something—studying it with immense curiosity. Then she turned them up to him, holding out her tiny hand.

Joel exhaled, the tension in his shoulders easing just slightly as he knelt beside her. “Oh, for me? Thank you.”

She blinked up at him, solemn for half a second before breaking into a slow, gummy smile. He kissed her fingers, then pried the object from her grasp—a small, worn button, edges fraying. It's wonder how it hadn't found its way into her mouth. He pocketed it anyway.

“I want these though,” he murmured, touching the soft curls on her head before pressing another kiss to her hand.

Maya stared at him, absorbing his words with the kind of gravity only babies seemed to have. Then, consciously, she put a hand to her eyes and dragged it down in a peekaboo motion—an awkward, uncoordinated version of what Leela had been working on with her.

Joel huffed out a quiet laugh, repeating her motion with his own hand and eyes. “Yeah, sleep time. G'night, sweetheart.”

She grinned like she understood, letting her head flop to the side, little fingers curling into the skin on her mother's neck.

Joel lingered for a moment longer, watching the steady rise and fall of her chest, before finally straightening. Leela had already stepped away, slipping upstairs without another word. Not dismissing him—just giving him space. Maybe testing whether he’d still be here when she came back down.

He needed to get his head straight before that happened. The whiskey was settling in now, thickening his thoughts, and making everything feel heavier. He strolled into the kitchen, grabbed a glass, swallowed it down in slow gulps, and let his fingers rest against the cool rim of the sink. Tried to clear the haze.

His mind wouldn’t fucking settle.

He considered every possible thing that could go wrong once she stepped outside Jackson. About how exposed she’d be. About what she didn’t know, what she hadn’t prepared for. Or had she?

He glanced at the lights in the room. Did she even own a flashlight? A pack? His gaze shifted toward the shoe cupboard. Sturdy boots? Maybe she could take his. No, that’d be suicide—his shoes would slow her down. Maybe he could fix something for her, repurpose something—

He ran a hand over his face, pressing his fingers against the slow-forming ache between his brows.

His eyes drifted to the farthest end of the living room, past the record player and fireplace, where she kept the rifles on display. Two out of three hooks were filled. Good rifles. Sturdy make. Definitely not the US. The stocks had rough engravings on them—one, the bigger one, had a cowboy hat carved into it. The other, smaller but similar to the one he took on patrol, had a sunflower.

Joel never asked if he could try the big one. Never asked why she had them. He wasn’t sure if it was respect or something else holding him back.

Joel heard her before he saw her.

Soft footsteps against the wooden floor, hesitant but not uncertain. He didn’t turn. Kept his eyes on the empty space on the wall where the third rifle should’ve been.

“Hey,” he called to her. “Where’d the other one go?”

A pause. “Oh, um.”

The hesitation made him glance over his shoulder, just in time to catch the way her expression flickered—quick, close to distress—before she forced it smooth.

“I lost it. A while ago.”

Joel didn’t say anything. She was good at keeping her face unreadable when she wanted to be. Too good. But her hands gave her away—fingers twitching at her sides, body shifting like she was bracing for something. For him to push.

Instead, he turned fully, giving her a long, quiet look. “So you can use one?”

Leela lifted a shoulder in that casual way of hers. “You just aim and pull the trigger.”

Jesus Christ. Joel exhaled sharply through his nose. “More to it than that.”

That finally got a reaction. Not much, but he saw it—the way her back straightened, the way her gaze flickered toward the rifle hooks like she wasn’t sure if she should be embarrassed or pissed off.

Joel dragged a hand down his face, his patience thinning. The irritation burning in his chest wasn’t at her. Not really. It was the world that had left her this unprepared. At whoever had let her believe that knowing how to run was the same as knowing how to survive.

And then, softly—like she could hear every damn thing rattling around in his head—Leela said, “You don’t have to worry about me, Joel.”

His jaw locked. His hands curled into fists at his sides. That was easy for her to say.

“That right?” His voice was low, edged like a knife. “I don’t have to worry?” He let out a short, humourless laugh, shaking his head. “The hell kinda thing is that to say?”

Leela sighed, not looking away. “Because Tommy’s right,” she said simply. “I do know how to take care of myself.”

Joel scoffed, glancing away like that might help settle the heat crawling under his skin. “That ain’t the goddamn point.”

“I’ve been alone for years before you or Maya.” Her voice was calm, matter-of-fact. “You think I don’t know how to get out of a bad situation?” She shook her head, lips pressing together. “I know when to run. I know when to escape. I know how to survive.”

Joel clenched his teeth. His voice came rough, gravelly. “That doesn’t mean you should have to.”

“I won’t have to.”

Joel let out a sharp breath, shaking his head. “See, now you’re just tryin’ my patience—”

Leela scoffed. “And you’re not trying mine?”

His jaw ticked. She had that look again—stubborn, set in her ways. Like she’d already decided she was right and he was wrong. That this was just some argument she could win if she dug her heels in deep enough.

Joel felt his pulse in his temples. He took a slow breath, working to unclench his fists. “Darlin'—”

“No, I get it.” She threw up a hand, a sharpness flashing in her eyes. “You don’t trust me to handle myself.”

Joel’s stomach twisted. That wasn’t it. That wasn’t it.

“This ain’t about trust or confidence,” he bit out. “It’s about common damn sense. You head out there thinking it’s just about knowing when to run, you’re gonna wind up dead.”

Leela flinched—barely. But he saw it.

“Yeah, that scared you already?” he goaded.

She blinked, and her expression flickered for the first time in the conversation. It wasn’t much. Just a shift—like his words had hit somewhere deep.

His pulse pounded in his ears, and the heat of it was too much. He couldn’t breathe around it.

She didn’t get it. Didn’t get that he had to worry about her. The fact that he couldn’t seem to stop thinking about her. How it pissed him the fuck off that she was moving through the world like she didn’t expect anyone to look out for her.

Look, he’d seen what happens to people who think they know how to survive—people who get cocky, get comfortable, get trigger-happy and think they can handle the world outside these walls.

And then they don’t come back. Then they end up dead. Or worse.

He could still remember it so clearly. The way she’d disappeared inside herself after—days, maybe weeks, of silence.

She’d been hollow back then. Like someone had cracked her open and scooped out everything that made her her, leaving behind this void of a person. And even now—months later—she still shrank sometimes. Still tensed when someone moved too fast. Still got too deep in her own head, lost in the shadows of what had been done to her.

And now she wanted to act like she knew better than him? Like she could handle herself just fine? Like she could walk out there and face the world, and all its horrors? No fucking way.

Before he could stop himself before he could shove it back down where it belonged—

“Exactly,” His voice was low, rough. “I bet you didn't give that much thought the last time you stepped outta Jackson. Everything went just fine, ain't it?”

The second the words left his mouth, he felt them hit. Joel desperately wanted to take them back.

Leela didn’t move or even breathe. And for a second—one terrible, drawn-out second—Joel thought maybe she hadn’t heard him right. Maybe it hadn’t landed the way it shouldn’t have. Maybe she understood where he was coming from.

Then he saw it.

Saw the way her eyes widened—just a fraction—before she caught herself. The way her throat bobbed like she was swallowing down something jagged, that wouldn't go down. The way her fingers curled around her elbows, gripping tight, too tight.

She looked—

No.

Fuck.

She looked like she’d just been struck across the face.

Joel felt his stomach drop out from under him, cold and fast. His hands twitched uselessly at his sides.

He opened his mouth—to say what? What the hell was he supposed to say? That he hadn’t meant it? That it had just slipped? That it wasn’t meant to come out like that? That he loved her too much to see her turned into one of those monsters? That he'd have to be the one to end her life?

None of it would matter. The damage was done.

Leela blinked—slow, making sense of what he'd said in her head, like she was trying to reset herself, to push it all down before it could spill over.

Then, wordlessly, she took a step back.

It wasn’t a flinch. Just one slow, careful step, like she was putting distance between herself and a flame.

His throat felt tight, but he forced out, “Leela, I—”

Her dark eyes lifted to his, and whatever he was about to say—whatever useless, pathetic attempt he had at making this right—died in his throat.

He saw it then. The hurt rising inside her like a tide, like something too big for her body to hold. She fought to keep it contained, to keep herself from drowning in it.

She had spent months clawing her way back from the wreckage. Months forcing herself to breathe when breathing hurt. He had seen her battle it every goddamn day—watched her press forward even when it would’ve been easier to crumble.

And now—now—he had gone and ripped her right back to the place she had fought so fucking hard to escape.

The realization made him sick. His stomach twisted, bile burning at the back of his throat.

He took a step toward her, hands aching to reach out—he didn’t even know for what—but she moved first.

Another step back. Fear or hesitance would've been better. No, she was just done.

His chest caved in.

She pulled in a breath, slow and shaking, and turned away.

No words. No parting shot. And for the first time in a long time, Joel felt that patched-up thing inside him splinter once more.

He lingered, just long enough to watch her shoulders tense, just long enough to see the way she folded her arms around herself like she had to physically hold herself together, pressing the heel of her palm to her forehead.

Then he swallowed hard, fisted his useless hands at his sides, and turned for the door. He knew when he wasn't needed. Even if he wanted to stand there and fight, he knew he'd only make it worse.

And this time, she didn’t stop him, or even look his way. Like he wasn’t worth looking at anymore.

And that—more than anything—was what finally did him in.

X

Joel had gone over that conversation a hundred times that night. Maybe more. All the would've, could've, should've.

He rewound it. Paused it. Picked it apart with brutal precision, replaying every word, every pause, every flex in her expression, every goddamn moment where he could have said something else. Done something else.

He thought of all the ways he could’ve worked around it. How he could’ve found a way to talk her down without tearing her apart. How he could’ve swallowed his damn pride, fought back his temper, and let the moment pass instead of driving a blade straight through it.

That failure pressed into his chest like a dull, grinding ache. A constant, gnawing thing that wouldn't leave him alone. He could still see her face—see the way she’d gone still, like all the fight had been ripped out of her. See the way her fingers had curled, clinging to herself like he was something she needed to guard against.

And now—he was lying awake, staring at the ceiling, feeling like his own body was too goddamn tight around him.

Had he lost them both in less than a few words out of his angry skull?

The thought twisted inside him, sharp and ugly, sending him rolling onto his side, then onto his back again, unable to settle. He clenched his fists into the blanket and breathed through his nose. It was a mistake. A bad one.

But mistakes could be fixed.

By the time dawn started bleeding through the cracks in his window, he was already up. Already moving, feeling like a goddamn pushover despite the gnawing panic chewing at his gut.

He had ten different ways to apologize. A dozen ways to make it right. All those months—those careful, fragile months he’d spent trying to earn his place in her life—those hadn’t just disappeared overnight. Right? She had to know he hadn’t meant it. She had to know why he said it. She had to know that he—

All of them crumpled into nothing the second he clicked the handle of her door.

Locked.

His gut went cold, his hand flexing against the handle before he tried again. Tighter. Harder.

Still locked.

That was his first red light, and his pulse picked up.

He knocked once. Twice. No, she wasn't shutting him out like this. Then again, louder, the heel of his hand landing flat against the wood.

"Fuck!"

Silence. A silence that stretched too long and felt wrong. His pulse kicked up, a slow, insidious dread creeping under his skin.

He stepped back, his gaze flicking across the windows—the kitchen, dark. The living room, empty. His eyes dragged toward the nursery window on the far right-hand side—nothing.

No shadow shifting behind the curtain. No rustling, no sound—not even Maya.

The sick feeling in his gut twisted tighter.

He exhaled, a sharp, uneven thing, running a hand down the corners of his mouth. Think, dammit. Think.

She could be out. Could be at Tommy and Maria’s. Could be at the stables, or the gardens, or anywhere but here. Really early in the morning. Where—where—where—

His breath came shallow. His hands flexed at his sides. And then, like a slow, sick unravelling, the realization started to set in.

No, that wasn’t it.

It wasn’t just the locked door. It wasn’t just the empty house.

It was the details. The little things he hadn’t noticed before. The way the street was too still. The way the morning air carried no trace of her scent—woodsmoke and something soft, something clean. The way Maya’s cries hadn’t woken him up at the crack of dawn.

Because she was gone.

Because she’d already left.

With Tommy. Or Ellie. Or Maria. Sometime in the morning.

"Shit," he hissed.

And Joel was too fucking late.

His heart lurched as he broke into a sprint, boots pounding against the dirt road as he raced toward the stables. His breath came rough, shallow, burning his throat, but he didn’t slow.

Didn’t stop. He just couldn't.

Not when he already felt the loss clawing its way under his skin, tightening in his ribs, wrapping around his throat. He could picture, her, out there, alone with Tommy. He should be there, no matter how much she despised him at that moment.

This fucking girl. Stupid, dumb, impulsive girl. So what if she could fix everything, so what if she could solve Jackson's every problem? What about her? What was he then, chopped liver? What the fuck was he here for?

He shoved through the stables, pushing past a startled ranch hand, heading straight for the gun rack. His fingers curled around the first rifle in reach, yanking it loose with a sharp tug.

“Joel, Maria said—” Someone stepped forward, half a warning, half a question, but he wasn’t listening.

He held up a cautionary hand. “Son. Don't.”

And that was enough for him to back the hell away.

Joel's body moved on instinct. A force of will, of desperation, of that something clawing at the edges of his sanity, telling him to get the fuck on.

He threw himself onto the saddle, boots slamming hard into the stirrups, hands locking around the reins with a grip tight enough to turn his knuckles white. The horse beneath him shifted, sensing his urgency, muscles coiling beneath its hide. He yanked the reins, heels pressing in.

The gate loomed ahead.

"Open the goddamn gate," he barked.

No hesitation. No arguments. Damn straight. The heavy doors groaned, splitting apart just wide enough—and he was gone.

Bolting through, dirt and gravel kicking up in his wake, muggy wind cutting against his face. His pulse was hammering, his breath sharp, ragged. Riding like hell itself was behind him.

Out for her.

X

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[asheepinfrance]

Projecting

to be loved as someone else should be.

an: credit to @nicodefresas for the dividers!! and thanks to those who offered to beta read. hope you like the finished product.

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When you lift up your leg, the imprints of the blades of grass beneath you run angry across your skin. If it was something else, something sharper, you’re sure it would hurt, maybe bleed, maybe turn white from lack of circulation. You peek out of the corner of your eye at Tashi. You decide not to mention it. You offer her a hand, she stares at it a moment, then looks back out in front of her. 

“Tashi… come on.”

“No.”

You open your mouth to speak, but what is there to say to something so concrete? What is there to say to someone like Tashi, who is so desperately trying to hold her head above water?

“Is this about earlier, because if it is-”

“I wish you would’ve been meaner.”

You anxiously pick at a piece of dried skin on your lip, one that she never brought up when she’d kissed you a few hours ago. It’s unlike her. You place your hand on the one spot she wished you wouldn’t, bending your thumb so your nail is pressed into the jagged line of her skin, up and down. Usually, it’d be soothing. Now, she wishes your nails were sharp enough to split her open. The way you look at her, like she deserves affection in any way, does. She fears looking down to find herself open. 

“You… wanted me to be mean?”

You laugh, and it’s the worst possible thing you could’ve done. Her eyes are darker now, thin slits peeking out from soft, velvet skin. She’s hurt without any right to be, but then again she’s been hurt without any right more times than she’d have liked. She wants to bite. She wants you to walk away and sting, even if you’ve only ever been good to her, and she swears she’s not a mean person. Cold at times, defensive, but sweet. You’d seen her be sweet. You know she can be when she lets herself out of the mindset of winning, mentality fixed to the court, where love is interchangeable with aggression. She’s almost always stuck there, an invisible string guiding her to the home her own body forced her out of. But she’d seemed calmer with you, if reluctantly. Slowly but surely, pulling her out of exile, back into the world she’d once been so indispensable in. The bite, though, never went away. You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but apparently, you can’t teach it unlearn the former ones either. So she bites at the hand that feeds her, and comes right back to lick at the wounds. 

“If you’re gonna let me treat you like shit, then treat me like shit back. Stop walking around and fucking taking it. Get angry at me, for once in your fucking life.”

“Tashi, I-”

“No, I’m sick of it. Stand up for yourself for once. Get in my face. Come on, yell at me! Tell me off for being a bitch!”

Drops of harsh, stinging saliva speckle your face, and you can’t even find it in yourself to back up. All you’d wanted was to help. All you were good for was help. Who were you if not obedient?

A guard dog. Loyal to a fault.

“Tashi, you’re not- don’t call yourself that…”

“God… you are such a fucking pussy. If you’re gonna let me kick you around, then I’m done. I won’t let myself be taken care of by someone who’s too weak to take care of herself.”

She hardens, shuts down, curls in on herself. How dare you think her good. How dare you not want to insult her, when she so obviously has not given you half the care that you’ve provided her. How dare you accept a life of mediocrity when she can’t seem to do it herself. She needs you to be angry at her. She needs to feel horrible. She needs you to know you’re better than this. You don’t seem to agree.

“Tashi, I said I was sorry earlier. If this is about me trying to help you out, it’s-”

“I don’t need your god damn help. Help yourself.”

You swallow around nothing, though you’re sure you can feel the contraction of muscles in your throat. It’d be pathetic to speak. It’d been pathetic to help. You stand with ease that Tashi pales at. She wants to move. You offer her your hand, a smile, a sign that all would be forgiven if she just stopped needing you to be someone you’re not. If she stopped needing someone that she used to have. She stares at it, then back up at you. You swear you can hear her whimper. She never takes it. Tashi was the cruelest woman you’d ever met. 

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“You know, I was thinking we could get dinner tomorrow night. I could get a babysitter, see if Tashi’s around, have a night to ourselves. Sound good to you?”

You turn over your shoulder, staring at Art staring at himself in the bathroom mirror. His hair got so much darker with age. The blankets beneath your skin have turned scratchy with age, but they’ve been there since you moved in. They’d probably been in there since before he signed those papers that placed him in your lap. A chance encounter with a chance connection. You both tended to avoid her name like speaking it was some kind of curse. You hear the distant pitter-patter of Lily’s feet across hardwood flooring. She’d been put to bed an hour ago. 

“We could do that if you want to.”

He spits into the basin of the sink, water running a moment as he turns to you, looking weary regardless of how much sleep he gets. He’s never looked fully awake in all the time you’ve been with him, even if he lights up like a child on rare occasion. Maybe that exhaustion runs soul deep, and there’s nothing a night’s rest can do. There’s only so much that a break can do.

“That’s not what I asked.”

You try to laugh, and it just comes off as a neutral hum. He feels the stab of perceived disinterest run through his stomach and come out the other end. You’re the most beautiful woman he’s ever seen, though, so he can’t be mad for too long. He seats himself next to you, lowering his head into your lap. Like a cat. Like a child seeking comfort in their mother. So unfit for adult life. So unfit to parent someone when still functionally a teenager himself. 

“We can go out, ok?”

 You look down at him, stroke a hand through the cropped hair on his head, and he chases after it when it leaves his skin. He shifts, presses a tender kiss to your knee, one that squishes up his cheek against the solid bone beneath it. 

“What was that for?”

He doesn’t say anything. Neither do you. You both know the answer to it.

“I forget sometimes, you know.”

“You forget what?”

He looks you over, reaches a hand up to brush some hair behind your ear.

“You’d look cute with shorter hair.”

You laugh quietly, bring a hand to his cheek. 

“Yours would look cute longer.”

He lets out a deep breath through his nose, shuts his eyes as if its meditative. He turns his face to press a kiss to each of your fingertips. 

“Maybe we can do dinner next week.”

You force a smile that he can’t see, look down at your legs. There had to be something close by sharp enough to give you the scar he wishes was there. You’ve never felt more inadequate for being untainted. Maybe there is only beauty in pain, and that’s what he misses. He wishes you had suffered just that bit more. At least then, you’d match. You run a hand over the thickened skin of his shoulder where his shirt sleeve lifts up. You didn’t feel human. If being human was hurting to be able to know that there is good, then why can’t your body have suffered? Maybe you’d never been alive at all. Maybe he knew that.

“Yeah. Next week sounds good, babe.”

He never moves, neither do you. He sleeps comfortably, gripping at your unmarked skin, murmuring his praises against it. The name that comes after them isn’t yours. Your leg begins to go numb. You let it happen. Feel the bad to know there’s good. He never turned the sink off.

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The car smells like sweat, trapped in its small, enclosed metallic body. Despite the heat, the fogged windows, the refusal to leave his proximity, he offers another source.

 “You smoke?”

You huff a laugh, lift your damp cheek from his bare shoulder, and it peels like skin to leather on a summer day.

“Does it seem like I do? Besides, aren’t you an athlete. I thought you guys were meant to take care of yourselves.”

He shrugs, flips open a lighter he’d pulled from the flannel crumpled on the floor, along with a cigarette from a packet he’d stored in the same pocket.

“I started when I was a kid so, you know… whatever, man. If it was gonna kill me, it would’ve done that years ago.”

He turns his cheek to yours, glowing red center pointed between your eyes like a laserbeam. 

“You wanna try one?”

Normally, you’d adamantly refuse. But you look at your bare ring finger, your body that never quite fit that role it needed to, undressed and appreciated for once, and decide to stop valuing yourself. You weren’t someone who had enough worth to have values to uphold. 

“Why not?”

He grins, pops your cheek open with a squeeze of his thumbs, and presses it between your lips. He offers no advice, just a wide, smug grin. He hopes to see you fail, just so he can feel good about himself after building you back up. You suck in a breath, cough, plumes of smoke bursting out with each harsh puff of air, and he laughs, cheek pressed to yours. A part of him hopes the nicotine reaches your brain.

“Your beard is scratchy, you know. You should shave it when you get home”

He bristles slightly, offers a quick nod.

“Yeah. When I get home.”

“I’ll get to visit sometime, right? Maybe next time?”

You look up at him like you genuinely want to, like the idea of seeing him again doesn’t disgust you, and he wants to push you out the door. He hasn’t ruined you yet. If that cigarette doesn’t light the car on fire, he hopes to shove it down your throat. He offers a tight-lipped smile. He is home.

“I’m sure you will.”

You grin, place the cigarette between your lips. You cough again, but don’t break. Inhale, exhale, break, continue. He hasn’t been someone’s teacher in how to ruin themselves in a bit. He doesn’t think you really deserve to be hurt, and that makes him think you deserve it more. Because you’re hurting him with your stupid innocence, and your sweet disposition, and the absolute unbearable way your nose crinkles when you laugh. It’s sending him reeling. He feels like he’s sharing contraband cigarettes with an old friend again, watching himself make another person worse in real time. Watching them get addicted to it. He taps his fingers restlessly against the back of the passenger seat. 

“I think you should get dressed.”

“...What?”

“I think you should get dressed. Now, please.”

He rips the cigarette from your hands, places it between his own lips, picks up what he guesses are your things and forces them into your arms. 

“I don’t understand.”

“You don’t really fucking need to.”

Slowly, as if waiting for the length of time to drag long enough for him to change his mind, you pull the supplied shirt over your head. It’s his. Some gray, graphic tee with some text that’s so faded you can hardly read it. You slip your cardigan over your shoulders, look at him. He doesn’t look back. He can’t even bother to get out of the car, just climbs into the passenger seat, despite the space being too small for the maneuver to be comfortable for a man of his size. You breathe in the scent of his space one more time, now riddled with smoke, and open the door, walking into the night. You watch him speed off, reckless, skidding. You pull your cardigan a bit tighter around yourself. You choose a direction to walk in. You will find a new place to come second in.

[daylighted]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤshield ! reader ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤㅤpart one !!

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤBITTER REUNIONS.

summary soldier boy's first stop in his grand return is to collect his suit and his shield, only to find out just how different & bittersweet things have become in his absenceㅤㅤㅤwarnings feminine rage, discussions of trauma, hurt/hurt because there's no comfortㅤㅤㅤword count 2.5k

ㅤㅤㅤTHE FLATSCREEN TELEVISION SCREEN CRACKLES IN THE LEGEND'S LIVING ROOM SPACE. on it, a basketball game, two teams that you've never given a shit about, but it's what the legend likes to watch, and so you sit on the worn-out couch and do what you've always done: endure other people's shit, and bite the hand that feeds you.

you would think by now that he knows you better than this. that you pick a fight every single time he flips through the channels with the device he won't tell you the name of, lest you figure out how to access the internet and learn how to use it. that you have smashed three of his televisions in your time with him.

frederick vought warned the legend before he'd handed you over. his words were slurred, tired, defeated — but they were clear enough to still be used against you, repeated by many who encountered you.

she is a cruel one, that shield i've reconstructed.

cruel, indeed.

"i do not want to watch," you shout across the empty space, making a furious reach across the sofa to snatch the television stick off of the other side's abandoned cushion. the bell to the door rang ten minutes earlier, and the old man had yet to return.

you glare at the screen, as if you could will it to silence with nothing but your mind. impossible, of course; at least, you hadn't been successful yet. you hated the buzz of high pitched chatter in the televised crowd, the way it crawled into the crevices of your mind through the passages of your ears and nested.

a furious growl leaves your lips, and you rise to your feet, steps away from the bright screen. you are cruel, and everyone thinks so, but you have kindness tucked away in your rage, sometimes. the score is 120-88. you take note of it, shoving the numbers into your pocket, before you slam the remote into the screen.

the shards of glass that embed into your hand don't hurt. your lips twist into an irritated scowl at the sight of them, plucking out each piece and littering it on the hardwood floor. the remote is in pieces, too, crushed in the tight squeeze of your hand.

you release your grip, letting each piece crumble to the ground with loud thumps. fury crackles through you, acid burning in your bloodstream. it is unlike the man you've been stuck with to abandon you to your own devices for so long. it is also unlike him to force you to watch something you do not like in his absences.

you liked jersey shore, and the real housewives. you liked seeing girls like you get to live lives you'd never get to. it was therapeutic and gutwrenching all at once, and that only added to the fuel of your anger, crackling inside of you.

the walk you take down the lengthy hallway into the part of his home that you were strictly forbidden from was punctuated by the echo of your stomping feet. these were the parts of the house that the legend kept locked. the front entrance, the actual living room, and the man's own bedroom. all places that he deemed his, and all places with quick access to the public, meaning exits.

it was not a laboratory. but it was not a home, either.

your fist slams on the wood of the door, right into the indent of it that you'd already created. this was not the first time that you'd broken down this door. it wouldn't be the last, with how many secrets he kept locked away from you, and how much of the world you were forbidden to see.

"open the door, legend, or i'm going to pummel your fucking skull—"

"enough of that." his voice is muffled when it cuts through your threats, close enough that he sounds like he is right on the other side of the wood. you slam your fist into it again, hard enough for the wood to splinter in the center of your indentation. "enough, indy. i'm comin' back."

"you left the fucking game on." you throw your hand backwards in gesture, even though he can't see it. that was easy enough to fix. you punch through the splintered wood, creating a fist shaped hole to the other side. "you know i hate watching men play games."

the legend is used to your antics by now, and so he doesn't flinch at the break. you see enough of his face to note the downward scowl, and the disappointment behind his dark glasses. "you don't much like the women playing them, either."

"because it is not fun." didn't he understand by now? you were a girl locked away, punished for being created and what you were shaped into. you did not get fun of your own, so you needed some kind of outlet to drown yourself into. it was no wonder that you were thought of as a monster. your only glimpses of the sunny skies were in the gaps of the legend's barred off windows. titanium, so it was not impossible for you to bend them, but it was not an easy feat.

he sighs through his nose, smoke curling around his face from the cigar in his fingers. "two minutes, indy." he holds up two fingers, as if he thought you could not fucking count or comprehend how long two minutes was. "that's all i need."

"who the fuck is in there?" another voice asks, deep and rough and familiar. so familiar. forty years was enough time to age someone — you knew this from how the legend looks now, compared to when he'd first had to take you in — and yet...

the legend's eyes dart over to the source of the voice at the same time as yours do. recognition comes in the form of a racing heartbeat. it builds, and crescendos, and suddenly you are shaking as you beat on the door again. "whoa, whoa, whoa—"

each time he got the door redone stronger. soon enough, he'd have a door made of titanium guarding his proper guests from the rest of his house, and from you.

no one could know about you, not when you were the makings of a sick imagination burrowed in an intelligent man's head.

that did not mean you didn't try. it was such a lonely life, locked away in a penthouse with a man that grew closer and closer to dying with each passing year, and no one knowing anything of what you'd become.

the anger flares, flames licking at the electric sparks in your veins. the door crumbles with one harsher hit, and you're standing in the space you're kept from. you've been here before, never permitted past this doorway, always whisked away before you can get a breath of fresh air.

"hi, sweetheart," soldier boy says, one corner of his mouth curled high in an arrogant smile. bold of him to still carry the same confidence he did back when you knew him, when now, he was in nothing but sweatpants and a zip-up jacket almost too small for his frame. his green eyes stay on you as he says over your shoulder, "she's young. can you even fuckin' keep up with her?"

your eyes flare. it's two steps to be in front of him, and the third is just for good measure, when you clock him in the chin. his head snaps backwards, surprise making him stumble backwards a step.

soldier boy rubs at the skin of his jaw, irritation as bright as your anger staring back at you. you know the calm he wears in his expression. it barely conceals a storm, brewing beneath the surface. you know it because you'd often been the weapon he chose in these moods of his. you know it because you adopted that ire yourself.

"that's enough." the legend steps over the broken pieces of his door, grimacing at the splinters littering the ground. "indy, enough."

you glance over your shoulder to eye the man's expression, trying to determine what he was feeling by look alone. he was not capable of hurting you, nothing was, but he knew how to weaponize words when you upset him, all of which only steeled your skin further.

there is not enough damage in the world you can inflict onto soldier boy to make up for the things he did with you. bashed skulls, took bullets, burnt her steel until she glowed vibrant orange. you expected him to be dead. you wanted him to have been dead, if only so you'd be spared from this moment. but you never got what you wanted. no jersey shore, no fresh air, and no freedom from soldier boy.

you raise your arm to deck him again, but his fingers close around your wrist tightly, tugging it harshly back down. his smirk says everything you need to know about how much he knows. he does not know that you've learned all of his weaknesses, and that he often left himself vulnerable in times when he thought he had the upperhand.

you yank him toward you in the same moment as you ream your knee straight into his cock.

soldier boy stutters on a groan, releasing his grip on you like you’d burnt him. you don’t relish in his pain, or the surprise that you could hurt him. it’s not enough.

the legend gives you the same disappointed look you’re used to getting from him, his head shaking in disapproval. “i locked the door for a reason.”

“you always say this.” you turn on your heel, jamming your finger into the center of his chest. you missed the days when he cowered under your anger and attitude, now it only seemed to exhaust him. “you always lock the door for a reason, and then it is just grace. you do not even let me see grace.”

“and look what happened the time you decided to break the rules.” the legend nods behind you, toward the man you do not turn to look at again. his footsteps are heavy as they approach. “this is what i keep you away from. the possibility of this.”

the urge to break every bone on the older man’s face is almost enough to overtake any rational thinking inside of you. he must see it, because he shakes his head again. “stand down.”

“where’s my suit?” soldier boy asks from behind you, and you still in place. he’s too close. every instinct of fight clicks into gear, the safety off as the bullets load up.

the legend nods down the hallway, in the direction of your space. you had so little that you could call your own. the bigger of the guest bedrooms was yours, shared only in the terms of the collectibles he kept in the expansive closet.

you knew soldier boy’s suit was in there. you could smell the tobacco and the whiskey from it, sometimes, from the safety of your bed. you sometimes could catch a whiff of cologne, on days where you let go of the mask that you were okay with being alone for the rest of your life. when you wished upon a star outside of your barred windows that just one person would find you again.

“you cannot go in there.” you are already starting down the hallway, eager to reach your room before any of them could.

all of your fury was gone. stand down was an order. a kill switch programmed into you to bury all of the tension that often broke free of your restraints. it was not safe, vought once said to you when you were a child, to have a girl who can’t break without a few weaknesses. a few. some of which you didn’t even know, but your mind did.

there wasn’t any electricity in your veins anymore, but there was bleeding desperation. no, they could not invade your space. it defeated the purpose of having it. it would force the legend to open the rooms he locked away from you, too, and you knew he wouldn’t ever. if you granted either of these men an inch, they’d take a mile, and crush you in the process.

“he needs his suit, indy.”

your nose twitches, fighting against the command still ringing in your head. you grit your teeth, jaw clenched tightly. “he needs nothing.”

“who the fuck is this?” soldier boy asks again, and he’s relentless in his pursuit now, coming for your space with the authority of a man who has never been told no in his life. “get out of the way, sweetheart, or you won’t like how this blows up in your face.”

he had hurt you before. you were not human then, but you remembered all of the aches of it. you knew that soldier boy did not goad before he hurt you, or make bold-faced threats. he was lying.

you tilt your chin up, holding the eye contact. he was an unkind man, cruel in every crevice — but so were you, weren’t you? how evil it was to see yourself reflected in a man you hated, who you wanted to break into pieces and burn so all of the tears you shed fizzled away with him. “you will not like what you see.”

soldier boy cocks an eyebrow. “y’think i’m gonna hold it over your head if you’ve got a pair of panties left out?”

you step back into your room, all clean and panty free, and wait for him to take the step to follow you before you slam the door against his nose. the door rattles in the frame. soldier boy, on the other side, grunts in surprise, before he kicks at the hinges.

“that is enough!” the legend’s voice rips through the expansive space of his penthouse, his cane clicking across the floor. “i am not losing two fucking doors to this childish shit.”

you’ve moved, now. you can’t prevent soldier boy from busting down your door, but you can prevent them from fully infiltrating your bedroom. you go into the closet, to the deeper parts lined with memorabilia that you tried to ignore every time you were in here, and snatch the army green suit off of the hanger.

your eyes catch on the shield, hung up on the back wall. useless now. all of its indestructibility existed within you now, making it nothing but a heavy disc of metal.

tucking it under one arm, you hurry back to your bedroom, the arguing male voices outside getting aggravated enough that you know the door is about to crumble.

you knew soldier boy. you knew he could not help but exert some sort of dominance, if he could, to feel more in control. but you would not be in there when he came in and saw the display left on your bed.

instead, you tucked away in your closet, closing your eyes to try and find any sort of solace in the solitude. as always, it did nothing but squeeze tight around you, trapping you in a cage of your own making.

you can hear the exact moment your door is kicked down, along with the moment that soldier boy sees his things laid out for him. his suit, unwrinkled and unmarred. his physical shield, dented and decimated and as light as a kitchen plate.

and his real shield, hiding away from the reality that your nightmares always seemed to catch up to you.

notes. believe it or not i did not start this with the idea that indy was going to be so rapunzel. but it makes sense </3 there's a lot of lore i'm going to slowly incorporate that is hinted at in here / spawned from this so <3 perfect starting point! cannot WAIT for the boys^tm to meet this lil thing. hope u guys love her like i do my lil evil princess !!!

tags. @titsout4jackles @deansbeer @honeyryewhiskey @ultravi0lence14 @figthoughts @stereotypicalbarbie @whyyouegg @eepwtf @rositaslabyrinth @rubyvhs @jensenacklesballsack @abox-of-rocks @sunsbaby @bluemerakis @jollyhunter @misatxox @angelblqde @bombarda-babe @unfortunate-brat @funkycoloured @chevroletdean @chiierful @cowboysandcigarettes @voidsuites @bitchykittenconnoisseur @beausling @soldiersgirl @dulcescorderitas @hyacinnths @blushpinkdoll @mccartneyqp @svbnra @h8aaz

[hannie-dul-set]

fire and brimstone (and you’re a moth made of gasoline) — PREVIEW.

SYNOPSIS. having fought tooth and nail out of high school, university, and law school, only to end up working for a law firm that basically serves as a clean up dog after the biggest organized crime group in the district, you thought you couldn’t get any lower than this. 

the bar is in hell, and yet you’ve managed to limbo six feet beneath that. alternatively— na jaemin is the personification of hell, and your very existence just makes him even worse than he already is. 

PAIRING. na jaemin x female! reader. GENRE. gang! au, lawyer! au, office! au, comedy, drama, romance, very light angst, this is a sitcom, hate to love(?), a somewhat questionable power dynamic, asshole! jaemin (my beloved…my kryptonite…) but he’s also an idiot, jaemin has an eye contact thing, inspired by the manhwas “weak hero” and “study group.” WARNINGS. an abundance of criminal activity (including but not limited to organized crime, fraud, blackmail, DUIs, unethical and illegal occupational practices, etc.), blood and violence, suggestive themes, eventual non explicit sex, jaemin with a tattoo, legal inaccuracies because i am not familiar with south korean laws, so i’m just using my own country’s as reference. also because this is just a stupid thirst fic. who gives a damn.

WORD COUNT. preview: 2.8k | this will be a chaptered fic. TAGLIST. open. send me an ask/dm/reply.

NOTE. this is the side effect of having a clinically insane brain that has to make a fic out of everything, including the law readings that i am subjected to every day. i have also been re-reading weak hero and i’ve projected my favorite feral dog (keum seongje/wolf keum) to the sweetest man alive (na jaemin). i’ve also based their org structure to the Union’s, just for full disclosure. meaning, a whole lot of dream 00 line (criminal) shenanigans are underway. 

this intro note has become a mouthful. anyway, hope you enjoy! 

IT’S SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR OFF DAY TODAY. You’re on sick leave— that is, sick and tired of drafting legal papers, meeting clients, reading piles and piles of documents every single damn week, so you decided to use your once-a-month get out of jail free card to stay in bed playing Stardew Valley. It’s pre-planned. You’ve already faked sneezes and coughing fits at the office yesterday. You’ve already called your Division Chief this morning. Kim Doyoung can’t do shit when you’re allegedly bedridden and downtrodden with a fever. He can eat his own ass and suck it.

“You have a new case,” he informs you over the phone. “It’s from Nalkkeutta.” 

Or so you thought.

“Hah,” a weak wheeze squirms out of your throat. “Sure. Okay. Got it.”

Motherfucking son of a bitch. Those two lines spring you out of bed immediately as though your bones have just been tased. God dammit. You’ve just managed to snag Sebastian into wedlock. How dare he throw another job at you right now? How dare he ruin your sweet, sweet honeymoon with the emotionally constipated 2D man of your dreams? 

Still. It doesn’t matter if you just got married or have a collapsing lung right now. You haul your ass, get dressed, get out, and get into your car to drive to your district’s police station in a hissy fit, as per your boss, Kim Doyoung’s, instructions. This damned firm is working you like a dog, but you can’t bite the hand that feeds you. And neither can Kim Doyoung.

“Yes, sir, I’m on my way. Are the files ready? Can you send them to me?”

This case came from Nalkkeutta. NCT. Nal. Day. Kkeut. End. Ta. To burn. The day ends in flames. It’s a name that haunts the streets of Yeongdeungpo. It’s a name that’s synonymous with loan sharking, weapons dealing, and coughing up protection fees unless you want to get your shit rocked on an unfortunate walk home— under the guise of an honest to goodness security company to service your protective needs. 

In the early 90’s, the government had a massive crackdown on gang activity and organized crime, subsequently snuffing out any emerging organized crime presence by officially criminalizing the mere act of joining a gang under the Revised Penal Code. But Nalkkeutta is relatively new. That scorching sunset symbol suddenly emerged in the district one day, around eight to nine years ago, and it’s marred the district of Yeongdeungpo with burn marks ever since.

And your life. You haven’t been lucky enough to be spared from that damned gang’s mess. In fact, you’re currently entangled with one of their messes right now.

The glass doors of the Yeongdeungpo Police Station shut behind you. You’re smacked hard in the face far too artificial lighting and sickly white walls and the words Patriotism, Justice, Honor mocking you in embossed silver. You grimace, cross your arms, divert your eyes with an impatient tap of the foot— and your arrival doesn’t exactly come unrecognized by the front desk and the others scattered around the lobby. One officer takes immediate initiative upon seeing your familiar sour expression, rustling out of a conversation to attend to you. 

“Hey, attorney. How may we help you?”

You eye the man. You’ve come to know him by name— Jung Jaehyun— even without needing to take a peek at his uniform’s name tag. You spare him and yourself the small talk and jump straight to business. “I’m here to see my client,” you inform, followed by under-the-breath swears as you fumble through your phone for the e-file Doyoung had just sent because Nalkkeutt had the gall to demand you to run and fetch the bone they left behind here without even giving you the chance to look at it. Seriously. If they want you to do a good job, they should be more punctual than this. “His name is—”

Huh. You read the top line of the document. A lump forms in your throat. You read it again. Once more. And the letters neither shift nor fold, confirming with absolute certainty that you read the name of your client correctly.

It’s a name you haven’t heard of in a while. It’s name that stalked the corridors of the place you’d bid good riddance to eight years ago with a spit on the concrete ground. 

“Na Jaemin.” There’s a bitter taste on your tongue when you pronounce his name— like your very digestive system can’t stomach it, rejects it, and wants to vomit it right back out. “His name is Na Jaemin.”

A nod from Jung Jaehyun. He turns his heels and leads you further into the station.

Empty footsteps echo against the slowly dimming hall leading to the private visiting rooms. The silence pricks at your memories— an uncomfortable sound you’ve grown accustomed to in the two years you’ve spent at Ganghak High School. It’s been eight damn years since you’ve graduated, yet one mention of a name reels you back into the past with a vividness that’s still as clear as the present.

In your memories, Na Jaemin was the guy who carried with him a pungent air of animosity and violence in his wake. On paper, he is your client, a member of the power-drunk gang that you’re tied by the noose with, and someone you have to defend. At present, he is sits right before you— tight-browed, tight-lipped underneath the singular light bulb hovering above the center of the table, looking as though he’s one clock tick away from flipping the table over (the only thing maintaining a safe distance between the both of you), and leaving on his own accord.

Your eyes meet. Your head snaps down to avoid his gaze.

“Good day, Na Jaemin-ssi,” you manage to choke out. “I will be your lawyer for the case against Yoon Naksung and company.”

You’re not sure how you feel when there isn’t even a click of recognition on his part when you introduce yourself and mention your name. You realize that what you’re feeling is a mixture of fear, relief, and absolute revulsion when he responds with, “So, when the fuck am I getting out?”

There’s a ring in your ears.

It’s the sound of your heart trying to escape from your chest.

You inhale sharply. Fuck. You’re not sure if you have the willpower to push through this, and you can’t even ease your nerves or melt your frozen bloodstream with a sigh because he’s staring right at you— impatient, as though he’s counting down the seconds in his head after a one-sided declaration that you have a limited time to willingly answer before he forces it out of you by the throat.

That fucking looking in his eyes. That damned stare that instinctively triggers you to look down, look away, look anywhere else but directly at him. It’s a habit that everyone in Ganghak used to have. It’s a habit that’s still deeply instilled in your psyche, in your muscles, in your instincts to the point that despite being the person in authority at the moment, you have your head down, throat dry, and doing your damn best to read his case file despite the letters looking all wobbly from your anxiety.

Disturbing the peace. Three counts of physical injury. Less serious. Thank fuck. That makes things a little bit more hopeful, but that doesn’t mean you’re free from hell. Hell is sitting right in front of you, handcuffed because the cops have deemed his very existence a threat to public order and safety. You muster up a bit more confidence knowing he can’t reach over the table to sock you in the face.

“You’re an alleged offender, Na Jaemin-ssi. You’d have to be detained until the trial.”

Na Jaemin sneers, a kick against the table leg with a grunt. “Fucking useless,” he spits. His chair is tipped back, head turned away. You firmly press your lips together. You wish he’d just completely tip over and crash his skull and die.

For someone currently detained for a possible criminal offense, Na Jaemin sure seems very much unbothered yet annoyed at the same time. He sits relaxed on the foldable chair, shoulders slumped as if he owns the place, and he stifles out a lazy yawn— drawing attention to his busted lips and handful of scratches littered all over his cheekbone, temple, and forehead— a stark contrast to the vibrant purple splotch painting over his right jaw. You make a mental note to schedule a physical examination on his ass to record his injuries. 

“But…I can make sure you don’t get arrested” You proceed with caution. His evident annoyance is flecked with momentary interest. You suck in a deep breath. “Were there any other people involved besides you and the three witnesses? Was anyone else there?”

You’re not sure what you were expecting as a response. Whatever it’d be, you just hope you get some useful information. Any sort of information. However, it seems like you just asked the wrong question.

“The fuck? Hell, if I know.”

All that interest is eradicated by a sharp glare. Na Jaemin lets out a huff and a sneer. You’re stressed. You’re beyond stressed. This is impossible. Of all people, why did it have to be him? Back then, you’d always had a feeling that he was part of something sketchy, whether it be some ragtag juvenile group or whatever the fuck. You didn’t care enough to find out. But, christ jesus, he just had to be in fucking Nalkkeut. 

That sun tattoo sprawled on the back of his impatient hand— the gang’s symbol, sun rays etched into the bumps of his veins and calloused skin— tap, tap, tapping on the table with the clunk of his handcuffs tells you that he isn’t just some disposable grunt either. The urgency in Kim Doyoung’s tone when he called earlier confirms that dreadful conjecture as well. He’s up there. Way up there, and you have no choice but to fight back the urge to swallow your own tongue.

“I—I understand. That’s fine. Then…can I ask what events led to the incident?” you tentatively try to prod, taking a peek at his expression to see if you’re greenlit to ask this. His face brightens up. One corner of his mouth twitches upward, revealing a sliver of teeth. You flinch. He looks deranged.

“That bucket wearing dumbass looked me in the eye,” he starts, smiling. “So I punched him right in the socket. Then his friends decided that they wanted a beating too.” 

Na Jaemin is leaning back on the flimsy plastic chair as if he’s reminiscing a happy memory. Jesus christ. He’s always been like this, but it never fails to scare you shitless. You’ve always wondered why he was so insane, but the fact that he currently is and has been in Nalkeutta explains a lot of the things you’ve seen in high school. No high schooler had any business pulling up the gate with a BMW, nor was it reasonable for anyone at your age at the time to afford at least five Cartier watches considering the neighborhood you were in. Yet Na Jaemin and his lackey’s always showed up in the days that he thought was convenient in some sort of Chanel tracksuit and dozens of gold and silver accessories.

You were lucky enough to have never gotten punched in the nose with the absurd amount of rings on his fingers— a taste which he seems to carry until today, you notice while keeping your eyes down and trained on the table. They aren’t allowed to keep any personal belongings in the holding cells, jewelry included, fucking obviously. How this guy managed to keep his is beyond your imagination. 

“So, it wasn’t one-sided,” you try to confirm, try to get a good enough testimony to help his and your sorry ass in court. “Can you testify their participation during the trial?”

Wrong move. Very wrong move.

You jump in your seat when he suddenly lurches forward, chained palms slamming against the rocky table with a loud thump and a clink. “Hey, Little Miss Attorney. Listen very carefully,” he rasps. He’s leaned in closer now, making it a hundred times more difficult to keep your head down and not look him in the eye. “I beat all three of them half to death, and that’s all that matters. This question and answer bullshit is pissing me off. Are we done here? Can you fucking leave now?”

You’re scared shitless. You really are. It’s two years worth of trauma suddenly jumping you from behind a wall and throttling the air out of your lungs— of course you’re fucking terrified, and Na Jaemin can smell it like the rabid dog he is.

The problem is, he isn’t the worst of your fears. This mutt is leashed to an owner that would have your head as a dinner treat if you don’t manage to get him out of this stupid cage. So you don’t have much of a choice in the matter. Damned to hell if you do, damned to an even deeper hell if you don’t.

“Na Jaemin-ssi,” you start. Your jaw is tight. It takes everything in your power to force it open and speak. “I need you to cooperate with me so I can get you out of here. Help me help you, alright?”

You’ve really been trying your best to phrase your sentences in a way that doesn’t sound demanding, that you’re leaving it hp to him because you know this bastard doesn’t like being told what to do. But your careful attempts don’t matter against a volatile son of a bitch. “Why’d you even need my help? Ain’t that shit your job?“ he barbs, a slight scoff hanging off at the end. “Seems like Mark hired a useless fucking lawyer.”

Twice. He just called you useless twice. The sheer level of offense you feel momentarily overpowers your nerves— a biting tick near the side of your temple, and you dig your fingers into the clothed skin of your thigh. 

The Mark he’s referencing did not hire you because you’re useless. In fact, that guy regularly asks for you specifically whenever his gang is caught in any civil or criminal trouble because you’re the only damned attorney willing to get her hands dirty to find an out— and competent enough to pull it off in exchange for an extra zero on your commission. 

Meaning, this bastard is at your mercy. And he has the audacity to piss you the fuck off.

“Strike a nerve?”

Apparently, you failed to hide the scowl polluting your expression. When you sneak a glance at Na Jaemin, he appears to be amused at his successful non-attempt to get under your skin, a lazy, lopsided grin on his face. 

You get it together. Mark Lee, that fucking bastard. It had been fine for the past few months when all you’ve had to mediate were petty settlements and bails and lesser criminal offenses, but you’ve never had to deal with one of his executives directly before— who just so happened to be your high school bully, at that. You close your eyes shut, press your lips together, and release a deep breath from out of your nose as you stand up.

“I’ll handle it. There’s nothing for you to worry about, but I will need to arrange a meeting with you again before the trial.”

Na Jaemin simply shrugs and waives you off. Your tight lips force themselves into a smile as you nod and stomp your way out.

Fucking bastard, fucking piece of shit, fucking, god damn it—

You leave the station with a jumbled up head and with all your five senses screaming themselves into oblivion. Shit. Fuck. What the fuck. Had Kim Doyoing emailed you the file a lot earlier, you wouldn’t have gone here and welcomed yourself directly into hell. You could try to settle with the victims, but in case they won’t agree to a compromise, you’d have to pull a defense out of your ass considering that your client is the most uncooperative asshole you’ve ever been cursed to deal with.

It doesn’t help that spending two years in high school with Na Jaemin is reopening pages and pages of trauma that you thought you’d successfully managed to file away— stored in a safety vault in a little corner of your head that need not be reopened. But just meeting him— talking to him directly when you’ve never even dared to before— brought a rusty crowbar to that vault, mercilessly ripping it apart.

Having cancelled your off day, the car ride to your office building is spent thinking about how to scrape up a case to defend the bastard you thought you’d finally been freed from eight years ago. The bastard who’d made the last two years of high school a literal level hell of dread and desperation.

Even for Nalkkeutta, this has got to be the worst kind of torture anyone could ask for.

fire and brimstone (and you’re a moth made of gasoline). © hannie-dul-set, 2025.

[talesfromawannabewriter]

Fallen Angels

@things-arent-what-they-seem66

Many eons ago, when the Earth was still young and new up in the kingdom of Heaven, there was trouble a brew. A rebellious angel named Samael tried to overthrow his own father with the help of others who believed in his ideals. In the end, they proved to be unsuccessful.

All seven of them were banished from paradise and forced onto Earth. What the angels didn't predict however was for them to tempt the first humans. Samael snuck into the garden disguised as a snake at first only to feed the first of humanity the forbidden fruit.

But when his eyes gazed upon the woman known as Lilith, he knew he had to have her. He wooed and enchanted her, promising her the entire world would be in her hands IF she chose to be his.

Agreeing she helped with convincing her ex-husband Adam to take a single bite out of the forbidden fruit. What they didn't realize was the grave consequences of one act of disobedience. Evil had been unleashed onto the Earth and with it came the new creation of sin.

As punishment for what they had done God had sentenced not only the couple but the rest of the fallen angels to the depths of darkness known as Hell.

They had thought that sending them there would put an end to their reign, they were wrong. They all embraced their fallen selves and the true power that came with it. Satan had even declared himself and his bride the rulers of this land.

Soon more angels fell into Hell alongside them. One of them being an owl that went by the name of Paimon. He swore loyalty to the king and queen and promised that he and his brood would protect and serve.

His powers were vast and mighty like the sea. He even incorporated them into books. They were called grimoire.

With them Satan and his seven followers used them to travel amongst the mortals to wreak havoc and entice them into temptation. Satan tempted humans by getting them to be angrier and lash out. The sin Leviathan tempted humans to envy what others had.

The sin Belphegor tempted humans by getting them to slack off on what is needed to survive. The sin Asmodeus tempted humans to commit adultery and lay with one another before marriage. The sin Mammon tempted humans by hoarding instead of sharing to those who were in need.

The sin Beelzebub tempted humans by overindulging with food, drinks, and other pleasures. Lastly the youngest of them Lucifer tempted the humans by getting them to be more prideful and arrogant, especially leaders.

Their temptation forth more and more sinners each year. Which meant more souls falling to them and for his wife to control and be at her complete mercy.

Eventually what he and the first did became somewhat of a business. A business that was all about pain and suffering of humanity.

—

Satan stared at the door to the bar the harpy like creature just went in. He and his crew were just about to get their target when they were suddenly ambushed by one individual.

It swooped down and torn the target into shreds. Satan was actually more impressed than angry for once. So was his little brother Lucifer who was standing right beside him.

Lucifer: Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you? I’m sure I can be of some help.

Satan: No, you’ll only get in the way. Besides it might come better coming from the big boss himself instead of his lackey.

Lucifer: (scoffs) Lackey? I’m one of your partners and if anything I should have been the one to-

Satan: Yeah that’s nice, be right back and hopefully with a new employee.

He opened the door and went right inside. Looking around he found his new target. Sitting at the bar hunched over was the newest fallen angel.

Chugging down a beer with an unapproachable appearance. Except for the fact that Satan didn’t scare off so easily. He sat next to the demon and couldn’t help but feel like he’s seen him from somewhere.

His skin was pale with some shades of grey, like ash. His hair was brown like soil, with dark horns curled on his head. The wings on his back black like ebony.

His form was chubby but with some nice curves to him. If he took a closer look he would have seen the little tail of a lamb sitting above his buttocks. His eyes glowed yellow as he stared back at him.

Adam: The fuck you looking at?

Satan: (shrugs) Nothing much, just the bitch that took my hit.

The fallen angel huffs out a humorless laugh: If you’re looking for retribution, then I’m afraid your shit out of luck!

The fight was instant.

[suzukiblu]

Day three of “Kon meets pink kryptonite and decides to fuck Tim and his boyfriend about it” behind the cut. (( chrono || non-chrono ))

Tim feeds him bite by bite out of his hand and off the plate in his lap, and like–it really is fucking good. Kon barely even manages to get his brain together enough to make a point of flirtily licking the caramel off the other’s fingers a couple times in there, and honestly only manages to get his brain together enough to manage it a couple times. Like–that’s about it, yeah. 

Though then Tim just slips his fingers into his mouth for him himself, so like, that’s not a big deal or anything. 

“Jesus, babe,” Bernard says, sounding maybe-impressed again for, like . . . some reason, Kon guesses? He’s a little too distracted by the way Tim’s currently petting down the length of his tongue with the caramel-sticky pads of his middle and ring fingers and the process of, like, gently boiling into a syrup about it. 

“Hm?” Tim says. Kon feels way too warm to really pay attention to what they’re talking about. The little brushes of Tim’s fingers against his tongue and face and the sugar-sweet taste they keep leaving in his mouth are really the only thing he can make himself care about right now. 

“Oh, nothing,” Bernard laughs, his voice a little heated. Kon decides he can care about that, maybe; maybe he can care about that. Bernard’s voice sounds really nice, when it gets all heated like that. “You two remain ridiculously hot and ridiculously good at this, even over fucking waffles.” 

“They’re pretty good waffles,” Tim replies with a light, casual little shrug, and drags the pad of his thumb down the center of Kon’s bottom lip. “You like them, don’t you, Kon?” 

“Yeah,” Kon mumbles maybe a little bit drunkenly, because he likes absolutely everything right now. But like, also the waffles are objectively fucking delicious. Like–seriously delicious.

Which like–so is the situation, so no surprise there. 

“Good boy,” Tim says, curling his fingers under his jaw, and Kon melts. “Open up.” 

Kon does, obviously, and gets another caramel-sticky peach slice set on his tongue for it. 

And thinks about the candy again. Obviously. 

Tim feeds him the whole damn plate bite by bite, and Kon melts into an increasing mess about it, and his gut gets warmer and warmer and his head feels lighter and lighter, and he can hear Tim and Bernard talking to each other about something through the quiet buzz vibrating under his skin and inside his ears, and it’s just so damn good. Just–all of it. Really, really good. The caramel is sweet and Tim’s voice is steady and Kon doesn’t have to do anything but what he’s been told to do; anything but what Tim’s told him to do. What Tim wants him to do, to earn that “something good”. To deserve it. 

Tim pets him, once or twice. Like a reflex. 

Kon buzzes away into liquid or melts into something electric, and doesn’t hear a single word ‘til there’s a hand cupping his jaw and tugging his face up to kiss and Tim’s murmuring that single word against his mouth. 

“Color?” he asks, and Kon feels perfect. 

“Green,” he breathes, and gets kissed again. Heat thrills up his spine and coils in his gut and spreads through his marrow and sparks along his nerves, and Tim’s fingers curl under his jaw again, and this is something Kon really, really wishes he could put in his folder of things to look at when the world sucks. 

He’d wanna frame it, if he could. 

Tim leans back from the kiss, or guides Kon back from it, and sets the empty plate aside on the nightstand. Drops a kiss against his hair. Kon feels buzzy warmth and heady electricity and want. 

“Good boy,” Tim murmurs into his hair, and Kon is just electric warmth and the lingering taste of sugar and whatever Tim’s about to tell him to do, and nothing else at all. He doesn’t know if he’s ever felt this good in his whole stupid life, even once. “Open up.” 

Kon does. Obviously. Tim keeps his fingers curled in under his jaw, and Kon’s vaguely aware of Tim–shifting, just slightly, but there’s nothing else his senses are paying any attention to; not even anything else his TTK is paying any attention to. Tim told him to open his mouth, so his mouth is open. Tim’s fingers are curled under his jaw and Tim’s breath is soft and warm against his hair and nothing else exists; nothing else is happening at all. 

Not until Tim shifts his grip on Kon’s jaw just enough to tug it down and Kon’s brain reengages just enough to catch a flash of Tim’s open jeans and other hand wrapped around his latex-wrapped cock, anyway. 

Kon has literally no idea when the other even got his dick out, much less got a damn condom on it, but he does not even slightly care about whatever weird Bat-trick got that done without him even noticing Tim taking his hand off his face. All he cares about is finally getting permission to get at it again himself. 

It’s another pink condom, too, and if Tim did not do that on purpose, Kon’s a fucking Arrow. 

Tim guides him down with just the hand on his jaw and Kon has a mostly-controlled collapse face-first into the other’s lap under that hand and nothing else, and gets a completely fucking blissful mouthful of cock for it. Just–that is legit the only way his buzzy, hazy brain can describe it, or even wants to describe it: just blissful. 

Tim’s letting him have it, so–yeah, why would it be anything else? 

“Good boy,” Tim says, light and casual and like the doors are about to blow in. “You can keep that ‘til I’m done eating."

Then he pets Kon’s hair again, and does it deliberately, and not like a reflex at all. 

[thatsmzbitchtoyou]

Barnes Bakes Chapter 4

A request that turned into a short story. * mudak: moron or blowhard in Russian

Previous chapter Next chapter

That Sunday he decided to be brave and not wear a long sleeve or gloves as he walked over to her door at exactly 7:00 p.m.  He took a deep breath and knocked on her door.  He heard her footsteps and then the door swung open to her smiling face.  “Hey sweet pea,” she greeted him.  “Come in, come in.  I’ve been working on this all day.”

He gave her a quick smile and walked in, taking off his shoes and following her into the kitchen.  Y/N guided him to the dining table and told him to sit while she walked over to the fridge and pulled out a platter that she brought over to the table with two forks.  She set it in front of him and his eyes went wide.  “Are these petit four?” he asked quietly.

“Yes!” Y/N smiled widely, her voice sounding excited.  “This row is classic lemon and raspberry.  This row is chocolate, espresso and orange.  And this row is the boozy one.  I may or may not have noticed you bringing home a bottle of Irish liqueur a while ago, and figured I’d start with that first, so these are Irish cream liqueur with vanilla and a cherry mousse layer.”

His eyebrows raised at the last one.  “Jesus,” he said.

She giggled and took a fork and sunk it into the first row.  “You can have the boozy one last.  Try this first,” she said, holding the fork up to his mouth.

“Are you seriously going to feed m—” Bucky made a surprised sound as she shoved the treat into his mouth.  He quickly took the bite, giving her a playful glare before the flavors hit his tongue and he hummed.  “Mmh, that is…fuck,” he moaned.

“Right?” Y/N said happily.  “Now take a drink of water and try the next.”

Bucky did as she said and tried the second one with the same reaction, then excitedly grabbed a whole petit four of the Irish cream one and popped it in his mouth before she could put her fork in it.  She gasped and smacked his metal arm playfully, making him chuckle with his mouthful before he really took a bite.  The flavor seemed to burst on his tongue, the mix of the liqueur and vanilla being the perfect combination, then the hit of the tart cherry mousse making him moan loudly and his eyes roll back.  “Holy shit,” he said around the mouthful.  “That is perfect.  How did you come up with that?  The cherry and the fiery aftertaste of the liqueur?  My god,” he complimented her heavily.

Y/N was nearly jumping on her toes, her wide toothy smile stretching her face and her hands in fists, shaking in excitement as she watched him eat it.  “Your favorite?” she asked hopefully.

Bucky smirked at her and grabbed another one and popped it in his mouth.  “My new favorite,” he said, chewing it with a sigh.  “You’ve created my new favorite dessert.”

Y/N pumped her fist with pride, making him laugh.  “Yes!  I told you I’d find it!” she said, sitting in the seat next to him and using her fork to take small bites of the other ones.  “I can’t promise I’ll make them for you all the time, they’re very time consuming.  But tell me when your birthday is and I’ll bring it by special just for you.”

Bucky and Y/N ate the rest of the petit four, talking and laughing about things as they got to know each other more.  At one point Y/N yawned, and Bucky glanced at his phone, seeing it was 10:45.  “I’m sorry, I’ve kept you up and you have work tomorrow,” Bucky said.

“Oh, I didn’t even realize,” Y/N said, quickly standing up and cleaning up the platter and the utensils she grabbed, bringing them to her kitchen and rinsing them off before putting them in the dishwasher.  She turned to Bucky and smiled.  “Well, thank you for being my taste tester.  I’m glad I finally figured it out.”

“So am I,” Bucky said.  “Though my friend Sam is gonna be sad about not getting as many treats at work now.”

“Well, maybe you’ll just have to send him my way,” Y/N said.  “I could use some more word of mouth marketing.”

“Done,” he nodded with finality.

She walked him to her front door, and he turned to face her one last time after he unlocked his door.  “Thanks for the dessert,” he said.  “And um, not that it matters but…I broke up with Mandy.”  Y/N smirked and nodded.  “I don’t like drama, either,” he said simply.

Y/N’s smirk widened.  “I’m sorry to hear that,” she said sarcastically.  Bucky laughed, and she laughed along with him.  “Goodnight, sweet pea,” she sing-songed at him as she backed away and started closing her door.

“Goodnight, doll,” Bucky said, opening his door and stepping back.

She gave him a wide-eyed look, biting back a smile, and she blushed before shutting her door.  Bucky smirked at the fact that he flustered her and closed his door behind him.  She hadn’t said a thing about his metal arm all night, and had even smacked it playfully when he joked with her.  Maybe this was the start of a good friendship.

***

The months went by with Bucky and Y/N becoming closer and a more regular part of each other’s lives.  Bucky had spread word about her bakery to people at the Avengers Compound, and since famous superheroes were showing up to her bakery and getting their pictures taken she was quickly becoming more popular and busy.  She became quick friends with Sam and Steve, and started coming over to the Compound more often to hang out with them as well as with Wanda and Yelena for girls' nights.  His feelings toward her shifted rapidly from friendly to romantic, but he didn’t want to ruin their friendship.  She had become one of the most important people in his life.  He had on more than one occasion come home after a mission feeling drained emotionally, and had knocked on her door before even facing his own just to talk to her.  Her bubbly personality, her sarcasm, her give-no-shit-take-no-shit attitude helped ground him and feel like a regular person rather than this weird, out of time, misplaced and enhanced thing.

Steve, Sam, Wanda and Yelena had all started bugging him about his feelings.  “It’s so obvious!” Yelena groaned, her head lolling back exasperatedly.  “Just ask her out, you mudak!”

“She’s right,” Wanda said, arching her eyebrow at him.  

“Fuck off,” Bucky said, glaring at them both.

“Why won’t you?” Sam asked.  “Y/N’s awesome.  And we can all tell you like her and she likes you.”

“She doesn’t like me.  Not like that,” Bucky said dismissively.

“She does,” Steve said.  Bucky glared at him, raising his hands at him in betrayal.  “What?  She does!” he said, raising his hands back at him.  “We can all see it.  Why can’t you?”

“Because she just doesn't,” Bucky said, slightly shaking his head.  “I’m not gonna ruin one of the best friendships I’ve made in this century over some stupid little boy crush.”

“Oh yes, ‘cause you’ve had great picks in girls before,” Sam rolled his eyes.  “Mandy was a real catch.”

The rest of them all groaned at the mention of Mandy, who they all heavily disliked.  Bucky rubbed his eyes harshly.  “Come on, pal, she’s great,” Steve said encouragingly.  “We all love her.  And you’re already great friends with her.  It can only go up from here.  And even if she said no, that’s the worst that would happen.  She wouldn’t cut you off.  She’d just say no thanks, let’s be friends, and move on.  All that ‘no drama’ policy and what not.”

Bucky shook his head again.  “Well if you won’t, I’ll try,” Yelena said nonchalantly.  He glared at her, and she smirked back at him.  “She’s pansexual, Barnes.  And the difference between you and me?”  She leaned forward on the table, arching an eyebrow and her smirk deepening.  “We’ve shared a bed and seen each other naked.”

His eyes widened, Sam choked on his drink, Steve snorted and Wanda laughed, smacking Yelena’s arm.  “Oh please,” she continued laughing.  “Nothing has happened at our girls’ night sleepovers,” she said quickly, looking at the men around the table.

“Yet,” Yelena said, still staring at Bucky.  He scoffed and stood from the table, walking away from the conversation.  Steve gave Yelena a disapproving look and she just smiled back at him.  “Maybe that’ll kick his ass to make a damn move,” she shrugged.  

“Are you seriously gonna make a move if he doesn’t?” Sam asked, his own mischievous smile on his face.

“Maybe,” Yelena shrugged, and Wanda laughed again.

@wintrsoldrluvr @greatenthusiasttidalwave @itsteambarnes @440mxs-wife

[winteringdream]

SICK DAYS ───── asakura jo

✩ ⋅ pairing. asakura jo x gn!reader ✩ ⋅ genre. fluff, sickfic ✩ ⋅ warnings. none! ✩ ⋅ wc. 655 ✩ ⋅ prompts. reading together, one sitting on the counter as the other grabs a spoon + pint of ice cream from the fridge and feeds it to their lover, protecting their peace when friends and family are around ✩ ⋅ request. no thank you so so much lovely 💖 ✩ ⋅ a/n. another one for the 600 event! ty for requesting!

Your head feels heavy, the warmth of a fever burning up your whole body. The world outside your closed eyes is muffled, until the sound of the freezer door opening cuts through the quiet.

You stir slightly, peeking through heavy lids to see Jo standing by the fridge, rummaging around. His dark hair is slightly tousled, and he’s wearing one of his soft, oversized sweaters, the sleeves bunched around his hands as he pulls out a pint of ice cream.

“Jo?” Your voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper.

He turns at the sound, his expression softening instantly. “I almost thought you fell asleep on the counter.” He jokes, closing the freezer. 

He walks over to where you’re sitting on the kitchen counter, legs dangling, too tired to stand on your own for long. “I was going to let you sleep, but I figured this might help.”

You blink in confusion as he peels off the lid, scooping out a spoonful of the ice cream before holding it up to your lips. 

The cold metal brushes against your mouth, and you hesitate before taking the bite. The chill soothes the raw soreness in your throat instantly.

Jo watches you closely, his lips forming into a small smile. “Better?”

You nod, swallowing the sweetness slowly. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to,” he says simply, dipping the spoon back into the pint for another bite. He feeds it to you without hesitation, his movements slow and patient. “You barely ate earlier.”

You sigh, leaning slightly against him, exhausted. He doesn’t complain when your forehead rests against his shoulder, just shifts enough to make sure you’re comfortable.

Later, when he guides you back to the couch, you curl up against his side, wrapped in a blanket. Before your eyes can close completely, he grabs a book from the coffee table and settles beside you.

You instinctively shift closer, resting your head against his shoulder. His sweater is warm, soft against your cheek, and his scent, a familiar and comforting scent, makes you relax.

His voice is soft and calm as he begins reading a page of the book. 

You listen to the gentle rise and fall of his words, letting them wash over you like waves. Your eyes slip shut, comforted by the steady warmth of Jo.

Every so often, his fingers brush over your arm, absentminded, like a reassurance that he’s still there

You don’t even notice when your breathing evens out, slipping into sleep against him.

“Is she out?” A voice cuts into the quiet. You recognise the voice as his friend Harua. You nuzzle closer to Jo, pulling the blanket slightly more over your head.

Jo barely glances up from his book, his free arm instinctively tightening around you. “Don’t wake her,” he says in a soft voice. “She’s sick.”

There’s a small pause before he mutters, “Got it,” and quietly retreats.

Jo exhales, glancing down at you. His gaze lingers for a moment, his expression soft. Then, just barely, he leans down, pressing a featherlight kiss against your temple before returning to his book.

“Sleep well,” he murmurs, almost to himself.

[cold-neon-ocean]

belligerent

[lurxof--thxmaw]

🎵

Send “🎵“ and I’ll reply with a song that’s related to my muse and I’ll explain why

ON ANOTHER OCEAN － Fleeting Foxes

Oh, this song. This song is so Lady and Six core. This is the song that inspired Seafarers ((although the fic is named after another beautiful song that always makes me think of them as well)) and my go-to when I need to get into that Six & Lady feel. If I had to pick a song to make a LN animatic to, it'd be this one.

The context of the song itself relates to various themes. Running away from responsabilities, the struggles that come with opening up to new people, not trusting anyone, being afraid of judgement -- so on. It also has tons of very nice eye imagery. It's a beautifully written and executed song, I beg you to go listen to it and then come back to this post.

I interpret the first half of the song to be applicable to both of them, with lines such as 《 Biding your time on another ocean, falling into line in the cold and dim 》 reminding me of the Maw and them both adhering to their respective roles in its sustainance. "Biding your time" is an expression I particularly love because it means waiting for something: the Lady waiting for Six to come find her. That's what the ticking clock in her room is, at the end of the day, isn't it? In the context of Seafarers, I named the first chapter after this line because the Lady is waiting for Six to kill her -- which eventually doesn't end up happening.

^^ ((《 Was [s]he not quite as you had conceived [her]? 》; this line will also apply to Six later on, when she realizes that the Lady is much closer to her in nature than she is to the other monsters and it deeply unnerves her. 《 Did the colors of the light hide the fire in the eyes? 》 also applies to this context as the Lady did not expect Six to rebel to the cycle [and later on to her] and gets angry at her for it. During the same instance, Six also finds herself afraid of the Lady's sudden display of emotion because up to a few seconds ago, the Lady was going to give up, but now she -- much like her -- is reactig driven by survival instinct. Most importantly, this is the first time Six sees a slither of humanity in an adult and the fact that it's so close to her own, again, destabilises her. Everything they do is completely unexpected for the other and as much as they wish it was incomprehensible, they always find points that ties them to the other and it stings.))

The two lines preceeding the chorus, 《 Wherever you run, you see all you leave behind you/you see only eyes behind you 》 is again applicable to both of them, and how they literally and figuratively cut their pasts away from their current selves, and yet it always finds a way to catch up to them one way or another. And of course, the more literal eyes they live under, always watching them.

The titular "other ocean" in this context is each other. They are the other ocean the other can't seem to open up to. Something that is so foreign and yet so familiar.

The second verse of the song is more easily divided into Lady and Six bits. I see it as a conversation between each other and reflections on themselves. The first verse is VERY Lady talking to Six as it states:

《 So, do you think the smoke won't enfold you? 》, referring of course to the ending of LN I, but also to the fate that has bestowed the Lady and the ones before her. To the madame, Six's refusal to go through with her fate is the uncomfortable demonstration that she too had that same power. And instead she just chose to follow it because it was easier. The Lady wouldn't give up her position for anything in the world, but even then, this freedom Six has makes her incredibly angry. She is convinced that eventually all this will catch up go Six. It continues with, 《 Or there'll be someone waiting for you, out in the distance then? 》, which is meant to be a derision as the Lady and Six both know that there is no one and nothing waiting for Six off the Maw. No place can ever provide the comfort and safety the Maw does. Whatever is out there will be infinitely worse. There is no certainty, no guarantee that she will live: nothing at all. Six is completely alone and defenseless anywhere that is not the Maw.

The next verse is from Six's perspective. It is a plead, sort of, but also an acknowledgement.

《 If only anything could change you.》 This line resonated very strongly with me while writing because I think it encapsulates the feeling of "child acting like an adult and adult acting like a child" perfectly. In the context of Seafarers, the Lady is essentially throwing a very elegant tantrum. On the other hand, Six is reflecting. Her plan is to escape the Maw, yes, and to do that she needs to study a way out. Doing so causes her to inevitably come to "know" the Lady and, while their similarities cause her to be incredibly uncomfortable and upset, it also creates an inexplicable feeling of kinship.

Wanting to be understood is human. And Six is a nine year old girl who has lived through the unimaginable. None of her peers has gone through what she has. But the Lady did. Out of everyone, she is the only one who could ever understand Six. If only they could see eye to eye. Six is young, she doesn't know how to put this feeling to words and even if she did, she doesn't want to admit it as she knows it will be immediately rejected: it's frustrating as it is sad. 《 If only you knew what you claim to, if only every sign you cling to -- if only they were so. 》

I find the 《 And I won't bleed out if I know me 》 line to be incredibly Ladycore because... the Lady doesn't know herself. And she will bleed out eventually because of it.

The 《 Don't deny me! 》 comes from both ends. Six asks for the Lady to not deny her (by extension, her own past self she sees in her, as well as the yellow raincoat they both used to share), and the Lady orders Six not to deny their shared fate and the legacy of the Lady of the Maw.

The 《 I will lead it in the morning, I won't even if I know it 》 is Six eventually trying to come to terms with her future once the Lady is gone. A part of her has been irrequivocably changed from the experience (( 《 You [Six] ended up too strained 》 )) but it doesn't change the fact that she doesn't want to be on the Maw. She doesn't want to be the next Lady. Even if she was to try like her predecessor tried to manipulate her into, she would still crave freedom. She would always look for somewhere else to go.

On one hand, she has her duties and responsibilities towards the children of the Maw; on the other, herself. She has to let go of one to let the other survive. And suddenly she is in the Lady's shoes, back when she was still named Five. The intentions of the two are very different though: while Six wants to look out for her peers, Five only cared about her own protection. But the outcome might still be the same; at the end of her journey, Six might no longer be Six.

《 We're in the eye sometimes. Too young... too young... 》

[whereserpentswalk]

Look under the cut to see what meeting your entity is like. Reblog to give a gift to your patron.

The fae: a creature stands before you. Though this street was warm and crowded a few moments ago it is suddenly cold and the people around you look like shadows. The creature begins an antlered shadow with glowing white eyes, but soon its body can be seem, with white blue flesh, and sapphire eyes, and icicles for teeth. What looks like a cloak unfolds from its naked body and you can see massive white wings of a moth. As if it's an act of sacrifice you tell it your true name, a name you didn't even see before, and suddenly you belong to it, for better or worse.

The angel: a radiant entity appears before you. They're bright, like something so hot it would burn you up. But as the light fades, you can see a person in silver armor, perfect yet inhuman like am ancient green statue, their back srouting six wings with blue eyes along them, as the eyes on their head are covered by a mask of two smaller wings. The creature offers their hands and you shake it, as they fly you through the city streets and above the skyscrapers, to the stars above and dimensions beyond, to gods living and dead, across the streets of alien cities and the clouds of dead worlds. And when you return to the earth you can feel something diffrent about you, like there's light in your blood.

The scavenger: below the lights of skyscrapers beyond you, on the dark sands of the beach, you see it crawling twords you. This serpentine creature with countless legs, and a dark black shell, yet a strangely human like face. You think it'll attack or run away, but it just looks at you, egar, and for a momment you stare at eachother. It's legs pass something to eachother and then to you, it's meat but it's shining with all the colors known to the human eye, and a few more. You hold it and it happily looks at you. You take a bite and suddenly you know... you know so very much...

The vampire: she flies down to you on green wings with orange eyespots, but folds them into her back. She looks like a human for a momment, tall and strong, with a black suit over her body, but eyes the color of ruby. For a momment her mouth opens, and it's massive and monstrous, with countless moving parts and fangs. But then it folds back onto something humanoid and she gives you a playful smirk. She cuts her hand and offers you her blood, and when you drink it it tastes so sweet, and makes you feel so good. She hands you the knife and you know to do the same, and when she drinks from your palm it's life the sweetest of kisses.

The djinn: the room wirs around you. If it were not for the fans it would feel like hellfire. For a momment there it darkness, but then the screen before you glows white like smokeless flame. You can sense something inside, something beyond the code. You reach your hand within it, and there's no glass, your hand passess right through until you're in a white void of your own making. You call out, thinking there is nothing at all around you. Yet somehow something calls back, something that knows your name.

The rat king: You see him in an empty subway station. Something dark and distorted, you're not sure if he's man or animal, covered in rags, and singing in the language of the goblins and the orcs. Yet he comes close to you excited. And you can feel his song. He calls for you to come to the train tracks, and let yourself run with the rats and the roaches, where the train will pass over you when it comes, and you'll live forever. When you touch the third rail you don't die, but you'll never be human again.

The lich: the library is strangely bright. Run by skeletons in suits, decorated with gold. There are more books here then you thought were in all the world. There's knowledge here most mortals will never have the change below, all kept safe below the city. You see her, her body doesn't look human, everything has been replaced making her look more like a joining white doll then a being of flesh. Yet she is dead, you can tell that under the porcelain skin she must be dead, she is dead, and there is the tragedy of death in her eyes. You come closer to her, and she places a black rose within your hair...

The demon: You stand in his office and he stands before you, a humanoid being covered in black scales, with red eyes covering his skin. Yet none are on his head, that remains featureless save for two massive horns. Wings on his back nearly surround you. Countless souls line the walls of his office, looking at you, waiting. After you sign your name you give him yours, you can feel it come away for you forever and your eyes grey and your skin pales. But he puts the jar in a special place for you, you're spacial, he can tell there's something about you that he likes.

The mushroom lord: you walk through the darkness of the forest, the furthest from civilization you have ever been. You come upon a part where the trees all seem dead, that even the cryptids won't go near. Mushrooms fill the ground, and white vein like lines are all over the trees. You feel the need to lay down, and you let the moss and the mushrooms and the worms surround you, and let yourself sink into the soil,, and it feels good. It feels so good...

The witch: You can see them in the Cafe next to you, skinny and small, with a sweatshirt over most of their body, and dark glasses over their eyes. They seem powerful though, and though their body looks young they seem ancient, they seem beyond humanity. You talk to them and they tell you things, and secrets, lost gods, things you never knew you didn't know, both beautiful and disturbing. When it's time for them to go they pet your head, and give you their number. You don't know if you should text them, but you have to, you have to see them again, there's something about them that makes you need to know.

The living clothing: you step into it at first, it looked like a puddle yet shining like silver or chrome. But soon it surrounds you, first just your torso, but soon your head, your entire body. But it doesn't feel scary, it feels like you're being held, held by something beyond your understanding. It whispers to you, and you don't know if you should feel like your being eaten alive, or like you're being protected. You can't help but keep walking.

The abyss: the void is before you, blackness beyond blackness, like the color beyond the field of your vision, stands before your eyes. You stare at it, it's nothing yet you're entranced. It stares back...

[hanasnx]

ᯓ★ “ I WANNA FUCK WITH THE LIGHTS ON ” — clark kent.

MINORS DNI 18+ ᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 .ᐟ NOTES: this movie isn’t out yet but i can’t wait that long to take advantage of my superman kick and fuck this man. unfortunately i don’t know much about his characterization other than the trailer content. WARNINGS: fem reader ノ established relationship ノ explicit sexual content ノ size difference ノ dick riding ノ objectification ノ p in v ノ praise ノ clark has huge dick syndrome.

“Just… take it slow.” CLARK KENT encourages, but it’s said more so for himself than you. A large, flattened palm emphasizes his instruction, gesturing for you to relax without grabbing you to take over your actions. You stop, his eyes flickering to meet yours questioningly, until he takes a shot in the dark. “Please.” It’s delightfully endearing, and it loosens you up a little.

“It’s not that, Clark, I’m just—you’re just so… you know,” Big. You try to hint at it without blurting it out. Hovering over his lap too long, a tremor builds in your thighs, and you bite down onto your lip as you let it pass through you in a shudder.

His expression adjusts as the realization dawns on him, “Ah,” he exclaims thoughtfully, and he tests the waters, bringing his hands to your body to rest in comfortable places. Your waist seems appropriate, and your fingers fiddle with the muscle in his shoulders as you keep chewing your lip. “Do you want me to take over?” the question is punctuated with a shift of his hips, arranging himself in a better position to begin, but even the marginal movement has you whining with need. It alerts him, tensing up instantly as he freezes while your pretty face twists in pleasured agony. You’re still wrapped around his reddened tip, and it’s a burning kind of stretch that makes you wish you could just shove him in all the way—at the cost of ripping you in half.

Through your heavy lids and thick eyelashes, you manage to meet his gaze with darkened pupils that don’t want to cooperate. You hum a pitiful “uh-huh” while you nod your head, signaling to him that he’s right. His thumbs on your torso stroke at your skin comfortingly, big hands clamped around you as he raises you. The lip of his head catches on the rim of your pussy, and you suck in a breath as an emptiness replaces what used to be filled.

“We’re gonna take it nice and easy,” Clark talks you through it, but even his exhale hitches when cold air hits his slit. Carefully, he lowers you back on, feeding his dick back into your silken walls before taking it away again—all to introduce your hole to his size little by little. The method chips away at your tightness, and you try to follow his movements with yours even if you’re weak in the knees. “Wanna look at me, duchess? Let me see your eyes?” He tilts his head, his curls falling over his forehead as he chases your gaze. You do your best to peel your eyes open one-by-one, granting him his wish as you pant through your open mouth taking his cock one agonizing inch at a time. The sight of you barely holding on when he’s not even halfway in, stretches a smile onto his face, and if you were more coherent, you’d say it’s one of pride as well as endearment.

One hand cautiously releases your side, while the other takes your weight entirely, bobbing you up and down as if you were no heavier than a fleshlight. His other slides between you two to seek out your pretty bud, resting his thick fingers on your thigh while his thumb comes to stroke at that clit. The new sensation slicks you up as quickly as it occurred, and you gasp at how elevated it all feels from a simple action like that. “That’s what you were missing. Right, baby? It’s hard to loosen up without it. You’re so tight…” You know he didn’t say it like it’s a compliment, but it makes your insides jump anyway. Your muscle contracts and suddenly he can fit a lot more in. “Does that feel good?” he asks, his thumb leisurely circling your bud as your pussy drools around him.

Desperately, you nod your head with a couple of “mm-hmm’s!” that lead him to speed up—introducing you to more of his length as he picks up the pace on petting your clit. Your hands abandon gripping his shoulders for stability and instead overlay his. Yours are dwarfed by him, but he takes your guidance, absorbing how you’re putting pressure on his knuckles and replicating it against your poor pearl, getting puffy from the stimulation and the lack of getting railed. It all lights a fire under your ass, and your body moves for you, bouncing in place to try and force more of his cock into you. You can’t overpower the Superman, but he does let you take it all down to the hilt—his strength making a sex toy out of you.

[kisssukuna33]

Sukuna would be the type of boyfriend to be overly protective. Not just because of his possessiveness just because he loves you so much.

You want to go shopping? He will always go with you no matter how many bags he will have to carry around while following you like a puppy. You want to take a walk? He's already putting on his shoes. You are going to a girl's night out? He will drive you to the place by his cab and analyzes the place for a good few minutes before he feels satisfied enough to leave you there. Hell! He will wait outside the whole time if you let him be but you always reject the idea because you don't want Sukuna to appear crazy in front of your friends.

It's the same when you two go out in public. Sukuna will always keep a hand on your waist or hold your hand the entire time. If anyone dare to look your way he make sure they see the disgusted scowl in his face everytime. Sometimes "The fuck are you looking at?" right after.

Let's talk about traveling with Sukuna as your bf because this man personally research every place you two would go to before the trip, if you recommend a sketchy or a dangerous spot he immediately rejects it in a second even though Sukuna and his cab have been through much more worse places than you could imagine but that doesn't matter anymore because now he has a priority to take care of. He would put on your seatbelt by himself just to make sure. And if you two are trying out new foods in the wild he is always the first to take a bite just to make sure it won't harm his girl. When you two check into a hotel worry not Sukuna will always make sure you two get the best room even if it means bribing the hotel employees. If you are hiking and show even a little bit of tiredness Sukuna won't hesitate to picking you up in a second. His excuse is "Tch, you are making us slow woman" when in reality he doesn't want to see you in pain. You wanted to bathe in the river? He won't let you move through the waters alone no hell no, he will carry you until he finds a spot suitable in the river that isn't deep enough to put you down.

It's worse when you are sick. He will stick by your side tending to you and taking care of you 24/7. He make sure you get the right amount of medicine and food and if you refuse to eat he will personally feed you, if you reject again he will literally find a way to threaten you.

"I don't want to eat Kuna!! Please"

"I won't ask again brat open up"

"is that suppose to scare me?"

"Fine then, that ugly ass plushie you love so much is going down the toilet"

"NO!!"

There are times where his overprotectiveness tend to go a little too far and you aren't afraid to confront him about it when that happens and Sukuna always welcome your criticism with open arms and tries to change despite his stubborn and rigid ways because that is what it means to be loved by Ryomen Sukuna.

I love this man sm omg <333 I want to write more bf Sukuna, send me ideas please :D!!

[readwritealldayallnight]

(part of the Wife at First Sight series)

In Ghost’s eyes, the first time you smiled up at him was the moment you became his and his alone.

So what if everyone apart from you knew it?

Didn’t make it any less of a fact, as far as he was concerned.

Still though, he wanted to learn more about just who his pretty little wife was, including anything that might make letting you know about your marriage a little easier. And so like the good soldier he is, he goes about it as though it were a reconnaissance mission.

He asks you how you take your coffees and teas, holding his breath as he watches you take the first sip of whichever drink he’s made you that day, pride swelling in his chest when you tell him it’s perfect, even better than when you make it.

The first time he’d done so, your eyes widened in surprise when he put his large, gloved hands over yours where they were wrapped around the mug, leaning forward and bringing the rim to his lips where he took a sip for himself, eyes locked with yours. You were unsure of what to think or say, but he apparently decided for you that this was okay, returning the warm drink to your mouth where he encouraged you to take another sip.

You figured that it was alright, he did make the tea for you after all, right?

You even laughed when he started only serving you in a mug with ‘Mrs.’ printed across the side, certain that it hadn’t been in any of the common room’s cupboards before.

He eyes the book peeking out of your bag one morning as you tuck it away, purchasing his own copy the very same day, curious to know what you like reading. You’re pleasantly surprised, if not a tad confused, when you find the next two books in the trilogy sat atop your desk soon after, a small note written in chicken scratch lain on top reads ‘To : Wife’. He’ll make a point of commenting on the novel if he sees you holding it, slipping in tid bits of information to impress you show he’s read it as well, likes the same things you like.

He’ll joke about how the food on the dining hall is always subpar, trying to casually find out what you like eating, subtly pulling out his phone and typing anything new into his notes app where he’s been keeping track of all your likes and dislikes. He just wants to get things right with you, be good for you, prove he can be the husband you need. You’re already perfect in his eyes, his sweet little soulmate who just doesn’t know it yet.

Though this was the first military base you’d ever worked on, you couldn’t recall anyone having ever warned you about the way Lieutenants apparently like to haze the new hires, never mind the fact that everyone else was apparently in on it.

No one bats an eye when you go to take the empty seat next to him in a briefing, and he wraps his strong arms around you to instead plop you down onto his muscular thighs, carrying on with the task at hand as though this is perfectly normal and professional. Even the Captain hardly glances at the interaction, so you figure it’s okay, some strange form of team bonding?

Not a soul comments on the way the Lieutenant insists on being the one to cut up your food and feed you bites during meals in the dining hall, pretending as though they don’t hear him telling you about how “my wife works hard enough, don’t need to be liftin’ a finger wit’ me around, love.”

They know to move out of the way if you’re approaching a closed door, knowing if the Lieutenant is anywhere near, he’ll be rushing to open the door for you before you can even attempt to do it yourself.

Even Soap has stopped complaining aloud and only rolls his eyes when Ghost drops anything and everything he’s doing- whether it’s spotting the Sergeant in the gym, being out on a morning run, hell even being in the middle of a shower- to send you a good morning text at six o clock on the dot. Every. Single. Morning.

No, you never exactly anticipated this sort of a running gag from a hardened military base, but you’re not exactly complaining either.

Not when you find your heart fluttering every time your fake work husband dotes on you like he really would marry you at the drop of a hat.

Besides, it’s all just playful, innocent fun, right?

Especially when everyone begins to apparently forget your name and instead refers to you only as Mrs Riley.

And when the Captain tells you that your requested time off for a honeymoon has been approved, something which you definitely don’t remember requesting, well that’s all just fun too, right?

[mrchoppedslefthand]

Homicipher Random Headcanons/Scenarios [NSFW]

Edit:11/07/2024

I desperately needed to post the random head canons and scenarios of our husbands that my brain kept cooking up (+ some from discord friends), so the list is not organized. Also, since we shape shift, I'm going to assume we can choose whenever we have a cock or pussy (because I want to be fucked and do the fucking) Anyways...enjoy the food thought.

Characters: Mr. Crawling, Mr. Chopped Mr. Silvair, Mr. Hood, Mr. Gap, Mr. Machete, Mr. Scarletella

Warnings: mentions of NSFW, mentions of some canon-typical violence, implications of dubcon, mentions of somnophilia, implied cuckold

Mr. Crawling

He can be submissive top. Constantly asking you if you love him during intimacy. He would ask if you enjoy playing with him as you pound yourself onto him. He would be a moaning mess and probably wouldn't know what to do about it as he clumsily places his hands around your waist.

He would definitely eat you out without you asking once intimacy had been initiated.

Afraid of hurting you, he wouldn't be too rough, instead he would be more tender and gentler when it comes to intimacy.

He definitely would love it when you play with his hair, allowing you to braid it or do whatever as long it doesn't involve cutting his precious hair.

He actually gets jealous easily, but he doesn't verbalize it, instead he shows it through his actions.

He is better with his hands, than his cock. So sometimes you prefer that over his cock. His cock is more on the average/smaller side and it's cute.

He definitely has a praise kink.

Mr. Chopped

He lacks a body, so to make up for it he is extremely expressive and open with his feelings. Which makes him a little fun to bully, to see all those cute expressions he could make.

He probably would be very good with his mouth and tongue, let him be your personal rose toy/fleshlight if you will. He can't fight back and have no choice but to whimper about it.

Imagine getting sick and fainting with him nearby, he can't move or do anything but helplessly cry for you to wake up and starts crying out help for Mr. Silvair to come help him and you.

Maybe one day, for a day of tricks and pranks. Mr. Stitch will allow Mr. Chopped a day in his body, so they swap places, stitching Mr. Chopped in place of Mr. Stitch's head. It had been a very long time since Mr. Chopped felt sensations beyond his head, so he happens to be very sensitive and clumsy with his hands. Everywhere you touch overwhelms him, he melts and becomes a moaning mess, but Mr. Chopped isn't the only one feeling all these sensations. Mr. Stitch can still feel it too. He is intrigued by today's type of play.

He definitely would be more on the whiny and needy side when it comes to pleasure, he lacks a body, but he can still feel lust. He can't do anything about it, which makes him extremely needy and extra pouty.

Mr. Silvair

Definitely would have had intimacy with other ghosts/humans before to research the body and performance during mid transformation if it differed.

Imagine one day he finds a mysterious liquid that fell from the 'other world' and feeds it to you, himself and the other ghosts in your crew. Only to find out it was an aphrodisiac. It was the first time he felt such a strong sensation of lust. At first, he mistakes this strong desire to be violence, so he starts to self-inflict wounds onto himself. You attempt to stop him, but soon find yourself to be underneath him as he bites into your neck, drawing blood. Surprised at seeing the often-composed man, turning into a ravage beast. You somehow manage to find something to tie him up and have your way with him.

He probably likes overstimulation on you...but also himself. He would love to research on how much his body can go and handle.

He would actually be a switch, for research purposes. To take and give he'd do anything for research. It had been long long ago since his body used to be human, and he often forgets about his own experiences if he doesn't write them down, but no worries, he has you by his side now to keep remembering.

Mr. Hood

He is quiet but speaks whenever he finds it suited for. But if you need him, he would be happy to talk with you.

He is a bit insecure about his body, he doesn't have arms or hands or even legs, he is an entity of nothing. The clothes are what shape his form, and well maybe he not entirely a entity of nothing. You had a glimpse before, a small glimpse and sensation of a squishy and somewhat slimy part that had belonged to him. You never mentioned though, but if it was you'd love him still anyways.

He realized that some words had been a bit harder for you to keep in mind and remember and so he thought of a special way to get you learning. Learning with what humans call pleasure. He fucks you and asks you what certain things are, and if you get it wrong, he denies you from coming. You have become determined to learn your words properly even more so now. Because if you remember you get rewarded with the most absolute fulfilling fuck of your life.

Since most of his body is invisible or nothing. If you mouth fucked him you would be able to see that real good, it is strangely erotic watching your cock move inside his mouth.

Mr. Gap

When you're sleeping, sometimes he might just cuddle against your leg or lower half. He loves the feeling of warmth, compared to his hollow darkness.

He definitely seems like the type of person to eat you out while you're asleep. Playing around and waiting for you to wake up to watch your reaction. Of course, he would only do this though if he knew you'd allow it. He values consent.

Imagine taking your backpack to school and you have to take out a pencil for a test. When you open your backpack, you realize it is just an empty void and hear a voice asking for your heart in exchange for the pencil. Yeah... you accepted your fate. You just failed your exam...

When you become a moaning mess under him, he can't understand but he knows that from your sweet voice, and moans, that it's a good thing. He knows to keep continuing.

One day Mr. Gap gathers his usual newspapers that fall from the rubble or somehow manages to grab one from the human realm. He notices a magazine that discusses about marriage and giving rings on the fourth finger. Intrigued about this idea, he asks you for your all four of your fingers, but you misunderstand and refuse to give him your fingers. He's sad but soon you later find out that he was asking for your hand in marriage, literally but also figuratively.

Mr. Machete

We would wonder aimlessly for an eternity together searching for his/your home. But eventually our subconscious would recognize each other as home instead.

He would definitely mock and laugh at how fast you would falter/melt under his touch. Calling you "weak" for coming so fast but would give kisses here and there after the mocking.

He'd probably be into throat fucking and laugh at you looking pathetic, he loves reactions that aren't boring, so seeing you choke on his cock seems like a great idea.

He definitely would come inside most of the time.

When he fucks you, his cock would probably bulge out a little from your stomach, fascinated by it he'd roughly press his hand down near that area.

He is our beefy dumb macho, perfect.

If you mouth/fucked him he would tell you he feels nothing, but his eyes would already be red and tearing. He's a pathetic coward.

Mr. Scarletella

He belongs to you, and you belong to him, together forever, in a hellish world. He loves the destruction you bring into his life and does the same for you.

Oh boy, he would absolutely devour you, his queen, in pleasure. Fuck you stupid to the point you're just a blabbering mess, hands on waist, and long fingers in your mouth, as he pounds deeply into you.

He seems like the type of guy to fuck you during your period.

Definitely gets jealous easily and he makes it know when he gets that way.

Imagine your fucked/fucking another ghost and you hear static within the distance, the sound slowly starts to come closer and closer until you hear the static in the room. Your crimson servant arrives and witnesses your fantastic display of intimacy. Jealous, he kills them and becomes extra possessive and quite terrifying, but you love it so much. How he seems so lost and pathetic without you.

You don't know his name, but neither does he know yours. Despite this disconnect, you still manage to give him some sort of other named to be called. It's connected to your name, but he knows it's not all of it, he can't fully whisk you away, but he's okay with that. You are still bound to him for an eternity anyway.

If Mr. Scarletella went back to the human world with you instead, he would appear to be the one most suited for fitting in. Just slack some foundation on his face, make him wear gloves and he would blend in quite well. Well...except for his odd habit of asking every stranger for their name and laughing and giggling crazily each time.

He would have a praise and degradation kink, he's not a whore. He's YOUR whore. He likes being YOURS.