#⤷ 🌖 . janus (snippets)

[kngstrnz]

Tags: heavy angst, major character death, sad ending

Thinking about OG!Sukuna who never ages because he is a Curse and Yuuji, his dearest human lover ages into an old man. Like Wasuke's age.

Sukuna who is always afraid to wake up one day and see that Yuuji has passed in his sleep.

Now it's Sukuna's turn to take care of Yuuji. Take care that he doesn't break any bones, take care of his meals and Old!Yuuji just chuckles and says: "Who's the 'overbearing wife' now, hm?"

When Yuuji has to be in a wheelchair and Sukuna has to push him to their garden now.

***

When it's time for Yuuji to go, he is surrounded by friends... by family... even Uraume was there but Sukuna is outside.

He can't bring himself to go in and watch as his soulmate draws his last breath. He can't bear feeling Yuuji's body grow cold.

Sukuna can't bear to say goodbye.

Choso walks out. Eyes red and puffy from crying non-stop. He sniffles before letting out a shaky sigh and stares at Sukuna. "He wants to talk to you."

Everyone gets out to give them some space.

It's just Yuuji and Sukuna now.

"Are you scared?" Yuuji asked.

"No," Sukuna paused. "I should be the one asking you that."

Yuuji weakly smiled. "You look very scared right now." Yuuji offers his hand to Sukuna. Sukuna grabs it, kneeling down beside the bed.

"What did you wanted to tell me?"

Yuuji stays silent for a few seconds.

"Just because Uraume will still be here doesn't mean you can get lazy again, make sure to help with the chores and pick up after yourself and no mass murders when I'm gone." Yuuji nagged.

Sukuna rolled his eyes. "For a dying brat, you sure yap a lot."

Yuuji chuckled, narrowing his eyes. "So I'm still a brat, huh?"

Silence.

"Always will be." Sukuna said, hoping his voice didn't sound weird.

Yuuji motioned Sukuna to lean down. Sukuna raised an eyebrow at him before leaning in. Sukuna tensed up when Yuuji patted Sukuna's head. "There's just one more thing you need to know," Yuuji started. "I love you, Kuna." Yuuji said with a tender gaze and a wide smile.

Sukuna widened his eyes before pulling his quivering lips into a smile. Brows tipped up as his eyesight became blurry. "Yeah," A few tears rolled down Sukuna's four eyes. "I love you too, Yuu."

Yuuji's eyelids started to feel heavy. "Don't be... afraid..." Yuuji stammered. "I'll always... be with you..." Yuuji whispered as he closed his eyes with a smile.

For the first time in years, Sukuna felt small. Like a child that lost his mother as he cried and hugged Yuuji's body close to himself.

[kngstrnz]

Tags: unrequited love

A very short free-verse poem inspired by ch.268.

(Keep in mind, I haven't written a poem since high school. So, sorry if it sounds weird.)

I hoped you had choose me in the end,

I hoped that you had come back and fill

The void you left behind since your

First departure. But you didn't.

I should be happy that you're dead.

The nightmares are over, the evil defeated.

But as I craddle the last of you in my hands,

I still wait for you to say: "Fine, brat. I'll stay."

No one will cry for the devil, no one but me.

Because you made me care for you, because you

And I were destined to be. You were my curse.

I'll cry for the devil because I fell in love with it.

You and I are the same. One soul in two bodies.

I can no longer live in a body of just one.

I don't want to be alone in this body. Please.

I need you. I need you. I need you!

I hoped you had choose me in the end.

I hoped you had kiss my scars, see me

Wrinkle and be there till I drew my last breath.

I hoped you had loved me. But you didn't.

[kngstrnz]

That castle of a home that was Ainosuke’s cage had been empty for quite some time. Coming back to it now that his little robin was gone felt like walking on broken glass. There was a time where it wasn't always like this. When coming back home was something Ainosuke looked forward to each day. There was a time when he would be warmly welcomed. Always with a hug so tight and eager lips that begged to be devoured.

And that person that had claimed his heart had not been the one Ainosuke or Adam had been desperately chasing after. It had been the person Ainosuke least expected to see through him, to warm their way up to his heart until Ainosuke couldn't take him away from them.

Reki Kyan.

Every morning, Ainosuke would be woken up by sweet kisses that would turn heated and how Ainosuke loved to hear those breathy moans and sweet cries of his name coming from none other than his lover.

Ainosuke sat there, in that empty cage as he tried to wrap his head around why he couldn't have seen it coming. How Reki would bury his own sorrows in the beautiful garden that had seen better days. Withered away alongside the love between himself and whom Ainosuke once promised his eternity to.

Long ago, when Ainosuke could finally be himself to the fullest. When the halls echoed with a boy-ish laughter that illuminated his everything. Now, only soft sobs reverberated back as Ainosuke walked through those halls. Sobs he had caused. Time had slowed down for Ainosuke; it had stopped the moment Reki left.

Ainosuke was so numb to it all, so hollow he wasn't sure what to feel anymore.

The reflection staring back at him is terrifying. He can only see this monster of a man with blood on his hands, on his teeth and the blood had belonged to someone he loved so dearly. Someone he promised to cherish rather than break unlike what his father had done to his mother. Ainosuke felt so ashamed of himself, he could never see Reki in the eyes again. Or Masae, or the Kyan family in general.

Ainosuke had been blind to everything a long time ago. When a home had slowly become a cage, when freedom became shackles and playfully teasing had turned into arguments. Shouting matches that seem to end in Ainosuke having the last word and Reki slamming doors. Many kisses ago that rather than tasting sweet, tasted bitterly salty. When Reki had no other option but to cling onto Ainosuke as he held tight onto his wrists it bruised.

Now that Reki was finally out of his grasp; had escaped from that cage that Ainosuke himself never left, Ainosuke found himself walking around like a haunting ghost. Desperately clinging to a past that he had taken for granted. Ainosuke found himself in their shared bedroom, looking around to find even the smallest trace of when Reki was there. There was a book in one of his drawers, buried deep inside their clothes. Ainosuke blinked, pulling it out and walking over to his bed. Sitting down as he opened to read its content.

“Ainosuke, I never thought you of all people would be the one to sweep me off my feet. I have never felt so full and happy and loved. And oh, how I loved you so Ainosuke. I adored you when you would show sides of yourself you haven't shown others, not even Langa or Tadashi. I loved how your touch lit my whole body on fire, the way your lips would claim my skin and how you called my name so sweetly. I don't think I can love another man like I love you, but please, for the sake of both of us, I need you to get out of my life.”

Your one and only,

Reki.

The only one left in that cage was Ainosuke and the echoes of a time he had taken for granted.