#⟢ㅤ❪ㅤ𝙎𝙏𝙐𝘿𝙔ㅤ❫ㅤㅤㅤ⸻ㅤㅤㅤcompassion's in my nature‚ but deny is all i stand.

[3objectives]

i feel like caitlyn has heard use your words all her life, especially from her mother. physical language has always been easier for her, more comfortable for her, more natural to reach for her. it's not that she doesn't like to talk, she does ( though that can also be considered to be dependent on connection to an individual ), she just finds that words have too many layers. it's easier to cut through all that bullshit to show what she means rather than verbalise it. it's something she's been working on her whole life, but sometimes she doesn't have the energy for it.

[3objectives]

don't think about how cait didn't have friends her age growing up so she latched onto jayce & how she always found an excuse to be around so that she would have had company.

[3objectives]

no one could hate caitlyn more than caitlyn hates caitlyn.

[3objectives]

caitlyn never intended to survive the fight with ambessa, not when she realised just what it would take to get the upper hand. she was already bleeding out from the abdomen wound, may as well go all out. she knew that she had to sacrifice for mel to get a clear shot, she knew what it would take to get the runes from ambessa's arm, and she gave in to the inevitable. luck must have been on her side, however, as what should have been a death blow missed its mark.

[3objectives]

a lot of those that condemn cait for the actions she took & feelings she has against jinx seem to conveniently forget that jinx kidnapped cait, tried to kill her, held her captive then killed her mum. like, that girl ruined cait. i'm honestly surprised cait didn't do more in retaliation, tbh.

[3objectives]

caitlyn doesn't like others seeing her weak, especially vi, and she constantly downplays her injuries & ailments. she's the one with the cold that won't lie down to rest, and she's absolutely the one that spends her time trying to hide how hard it is to cope with one eye.

[3objectives]

we don't talk enough about cait's pause / hesitation before their first kiss. so many things running through her head, second guessings pulling at every corner - the idea that this just might change everything for the woman who is begging for things not to change. she wants to kiss her, needs to kiss her, but logic bites. in the end, she gives in, but in those few seconds beforehand... she wonders if its the right choice.

[3objectives]

speaking of my injury, i may be pulling from experiences when it comes to writing cait during her recovery era. i couldn't sit still, i couldn't cope with lack of ability & the idea that i needed to wait for time to do it's thing just... it pissed me off. caitlyn is the exact same. she's not used to these limitations, she doesn't want these limitations, & until she can accept things have changed ( trust me, it takes a while ), it probably won't be smooth sailing.

[3objectives]

caitlyn, when out of her coma and back on her feet, has to wear a leg brace on her right leg. she hates how slow she is, and the limitations that she has to come to terms with lead to more frustration than anything else. she knows it's a process and that she needs to work hard, but add that on top of adjusting to a loss of an eye, and the changing of societyㅤ⸻ㅤsometimes it just gets to be a bit too much.

[3objectives]

cait has never been drunk once in her life. her need to be in control and aware at all times never really left room for the ability to let go. it didn't suit her needs, she couldn't see why one would even find it enjoyable. though, she did often find herself feeling a pang of jealousy when she saw people her age going out, having fun and allowing themselves to be free. it's only after her injury and loss that she finds actual temptation in it.

[3objectives]

caitlyn might not be good at voicing her own thoughts or feelings, but i know for a fact that she'll spend the rest of her life making up for the things she's done through her actions. besides, when it comes to caitlyn, actions speak far louder than words. it's in your actions that you build trust and respect with this one.

[3objectives]

it honestly truly breaks my heart that caitlyn doesn't even like herself. doesn't trust herself, either. too many wrong choices, too many clouded judgements, too many people that she's hurt. it takes a long ass time before she even considers herself someone to like, nevermind love.