#❮┆❛ bonjour motherfuckers ❜ / answered ❯

[xnjolras]

platonic slowburn fic where gabby and second roommate get rid of third roommate and live in some goddamn peace

fuckin wishlist this shit because WHAT A DREAM I’D BE LIVING.

[trnquilgalileo]

Soulmate headcanons!

Ten x Wandering translator! Reader

(whatever you write shows up on your soulmate skin)

- when ten was five the first words on his skin from his soulmate was « bonjour, comment ça va? »

- he looked at the funny words on his leg and poked it.

- because when ten is curious about something he gets really close and in its face, backs away and gets close once more

- kinda like a cat

- he then proceeded to cry to his mom who scolded him and told the little boy it was just in French

- French. The fuck is French?

- Ten never responded.

- Four years later he’s nine. He’s wiser, older and more willing to kick his six year old sister in the face

- that and he now goes to an international school in Thailand to study not only acrobatics and dance,

- but art.

- And if you know any art kids, one thing they love to do is draw on their skin.

- Day to day he draws little squiggles, animals and plants in his skin.

- The bright coloured markers contrasting greatly to the point where his father scolds him

- Telling him he’ll get ink poisoning

- Ever the wiser he rolls his eyes and continues to doodle

- So when he picks up a bright red pen to mark his arm once more he’s treated with a cruddy drawn flower that’s in an obnoxious orange with a messy Aloha next to it

- That has to be the worse thing he’s ever seen

- So he scribbles it out

- Ten is 12

- Twelve, bratty but twelve nonetheless

- Ten hates being twelve

- Now he has more school and more work and not enough time to dance and do the other things he wants

- Over the years more and more messages from his soulmate pop up but he can’t read them

- And when 12 year ten sees something he doesn’t understand,

- He ignores it

- And life continued soulmate-less

- But this only worsened ten’s mood.

- Why does his little sister get to jump for joy when some loser named Yangyang happens to fall and break his motherfucking wrist

- Get knocked out by anesthesia and visit her in her dreams

- Fucking Yangyang.

- So no, ten did not enjoy being 12

- Ten has red hair put up in some atrocious red spike, he just sang a Justin Bieber song and got accepted into SM Entertainment

- This is best moment in his life

- Except...

- Hes lonely.

- By the age of 17 everyone around ten had at least made some form of contact with their soulmate

- And the Pisces in him longs to see his soulmates words on his skin once more

- so when he had another mental break down in the middle of the SM basement

- curled into a little ball because he couldn’t get this one move right because of his stupid knee injury

- that needed another knee surgery that he was sure he didn’t need

- and he was loosing hope of ever making his debut

- because no matter how hard he worked

- his blood, sweat and tears were not enough for the company who only continued to push

- so when he spotted the little, messy squiggles of a grocery list in Spanish

- It brought him the breath of fresh air he needed

- the tiny scripted letters so smooth in his skin that he stretched out towards his phone and took a picture

- because even though his soulmate didn’t know it yet

- these small words had stopped him for breaking even more

- Ten was 22 when he tattooed his first script onto his arm

- it was in the inside of his bicep, tucked away where it wouldn’t be noticed

- Only if you really looked.

- it said j’taime in what he assumes would be his soulmates handwriting

- he had once again picked up his little habit of drawing on his skin which allowed his soulmate to pick up their own sparkly pink ink and scribble back

- because after 22 years he had finally answered,

- after 22 years he had the world in the palm in hand

- except he had no one to share it with

- until you answered

- So when ten walked out with a bandaged arm he grinned silently to himself before pulling up the black mask to cover his identity

- later that night a similar tattoo appeared on the side of his left ring finger

- “ฉัน คิดถึง คุณ”

- (I miss you)

- Ten is now 24,

- he’s considered ancient, wise and a bit of brat by Kun

- (Oh and he met YangYang too)

- (He approves...silently)

- the world is ending and he hasn’t officially met his soulmate

- hasn’t told them he loves them to their face, kiss their pretty lips, caress their hands gently and lean in close to blow in their ear

- only to run away cackling

- but anyways it’s his turn fo go in and hand in lyrics for the new WAYV album

- he’s walking down the hallway, head up in the clouds, pushing the buttons on the elevator to go up only to hear a hurried shout

- He turns around and spots then most ethereal as it could get person, the pink curve of their mouth, the arch of their brow to the way their skin glowed

- but behind them was you. looking lost but in tens hazy vision filled with fluffy clouds and shinning stars

- he knows it’s you, the way you feel in his presence, the comfort, the warmth

- ...the love...

- Ten moves out of the elevator and waits till you stop talking to the head translator of SM and let’s you bow before leaving.

- he watches as you step out of the glass panelled room and straight into his line of vision.

- You approach the elevator where he stood

- where ten, with all his courage whispers low enough just for you to catch it.

- “Bonjour...comment ça va?”

[calypsoff2]

Seventeen.

Opening the door for Mel “you really didn’t need too” she said as she walked out of the hospital, I just smiled as I made way out behind her “why do you bodyguards always look serious, cheer up bro” patting him as I turned to Mel, noticing she is taking a video. I came up behind her “respect to my sister Melissa. We out here having a baby Forde, about to be here in a few months’ time. All I am saying is niggas ain’t shit” Mel cackled and moved the camera “nigga!” she spat, I laughed jogging away. I came to the hospital with Mel, she had her first scan. I asked Robyn and she said go for it and thanked me for it. She said Mel has been feeling lonely about this “should I post?” looking behind “do it, TJ can fuck off Mel. You deserve the world, every woman does. I dislike that any woman has to go through that alone. But we got you” feeling my phone ring in my pocket, grabbing my phone from my pocket. It’s my pops “just going to answer this” unlocking the car door, answering the call “pops” walking around the car “hey Chris, how is my grandbabies” he never calls for nothing, just that “they are living their life dad, they in Paris with Robyn. They good” I chuckled “Rylee and Tianna say Bonjour now, they on something those girls” I laughed shaking my head “son last night we got robbed, we are ok, but they stole all of our stuff and the car you bought me. They locked us in the room, I don’t want you to worry. But in case you hear it from others, we are fine. Just speaking to the police” my face dropped “what!?” I spat, my heart right now “mom, is my mom ok? Dad, what the fuck” this is fucking stupid “the police said the robbery was clean, they knew where to go in this home, I am just a little stressed, but we are ok and that is the main point” balling my fist up, not my family “not that ain’t the point dad, I am coming to VA. Where are you now?” this is fucking crazy, niggas ain’t shit “we are outside the home, the police are here” dragging the car door open “I am coming, just wait there for me. I won’t be long” not my family.

Banging the car door shut “what happened?” Mel asked, she knows I am pissed off now “a robbery happened at my family home in VA, they not hurt or anything, but the point is they took all their things. Police say they knew where everything was, I am pissed off Mel, not my motherfucking family” putting my car engine on “oh my god, I am so sorry to hear that. Is everything ok with them? Are you going to them?” nodding my head “yeah, my mind is just a fucking maze right now. Niggas are jealous! It will be your own family; I am just not happy at all. Pat we are going VA, let’s just drop off Mel first. Shit has took a turn now” driving off in a huff, I can’t believe that just happened to my family “you think it was done on purpose? You think someone sought out your parents’ home?” Mel asked before laughing “look who is calling, I bet she has seen the Instagram post” Mel answered the call “don’t tell her, I will tell her after” I quickly added “huh” Mel said “don’t tell her, I will tell after” I said again, she nodded her head “you called” Mel said half laughing, she put it on speakerphone “yeah I did, that post! Bitch you seem so happy, was my husband supportive?” Robyn asked “he was indeed, he was there for me and teased me a lot though” she chuckled “that sounds like him, he seems quiet? Is there?” Robyn asked “he is, I think he is just concentrating on the road right now” I am trying to not panic but I am “I will call her later” I waved my hand around, I mean I don’t feel like I am in the mood to be talking.

Trying to get a flight out to Richmond is actually hell, I can’t catch a flight out at all. The Jet is just with Robyn so it’s like stupid. Pat and I are just waiting around right now “what is it like? To be married to a superstar like Rihanna?” Pat asked, looking over at him “it’s different, I mean I am just a normal nigga so when she said I got to have a bodyguard it’s weird to me but if I feel like I got a friend with me then I am good but it’s weird, it will always be me below her. I have come to the conclusion that is my life which isn’t a bad thing but it’s something you do need to accept, if you don’t which I didn’t at first it’s hell. I couldn’t accept it at first, I couldn’t accept Robyn being the breadwinner, how crazy is that” holding my phone up at Pat, she is ringing me “she senses the talk” I think she does, answering the call “hey” answering the call “hey? Don’t hey me when you haven’t called me, I am in bed waiting. You didn’t call” that totally slipped my mind “oh shit yeah, well what it is something came up” I said, I just don’t want to talk about because I feel so angry but yet sad that my family went through that “like? You’re still in California? Why didn’t you want to speak to me in the car either, you were laughing with Mel were you not” oh Robyn is not going to stop, this woman is just going on and on. I really just want to see my family; I am really confused on what happened and why “if you don’t want to speak to me then say that then, why are you quiet with me? The kids are asleep, and I have time to speak, and you don’t care, hello?” could it be TJ, but it can’t be him, he was here, someone knew my family home.

I am just going on and on in my mind just going through things, I can’t comprehend what happened and why someone targeted my family home when they live in a good area “give it a rest!” I spat, I didn’t mean too but it just came out, I said it that loudly that the people on in the waiting area just went ever so silent, it was awkward. Sitting up on the seat feeling uncomfortable “sorry, I am really sorry. I didn’t mean to shout, just that. Look, I got a phone call from my dad today and he said that the home someone robbed them, they aren’t hurt but they knew the layout and they took everything, even the new car I got him. I am sorry, just a little stressed out. I didn’t mean to be loud, I just needed to think” I feel so bad now, I feel ever so bad that I did “why didn’t you say Chris? That is my family too, what the hell. What happened? Why didn’t you say this before!?” she half shouted down the phone “are they ok!?” rubbing the side of my face “my dad said they are, but I am at the airport waiting to get on the plane to go there, it’s taking forever. I didn’t mean to shout; I feel bad about doing that to you” I am so stupid “it’s ok Chris, honestly. I am so sad that has happened, so you are going VA? Be careful there, that place and you don’t mix. Don’t feel bad, I just want you safe. Give my love to your family when you get there, also text me when you get there. I need to know you’re ok at all times” I would have liked if Robyn was with me but no, she’s working “how is the girls though? They are actually asleep now? They been playing up since being there” I laughed “oh yeah, now that they are with me working they are tired now. We are having out event tomorrow so we will be there together, I am excited. The outfits are cute, but I am sorry that I am not there” she apologised but this doesn’t change, she isn’t there for me when I would be for her, I would have gone there “it’s cool, you should go to sleep Twin, I love you” I am just stressed out, I need to see my mom “call me Chris, I love you too” disconnecting the call.

Seeing the police outside my parent’s home is hurtful, I thought all this was over with. It’s always wack seeing this, walking up the drive with Pat “sir you can’t go here” the officer said walking over to us, Pat got in front of me “this is his family home sir so if you can step to the side” Pat said “Chris” hearing Tootie say my name, walking around Pat “so good seeing you” Tootie rushed to me, it’s not like Tootie at all to be like this. To want to hug me in such a loving matter, I am always annoying her. Hugging her close to me “it was so horrible, they put us in the room together. Dad just said please don’t hurt us and take it all. Desean was crying, we all were” I felt my heart hurt hearing that “seriously?” moving back from the hug “honestly, you know me. Look at me crying” she wiped her tears “my baby boy, Christopher” my mother came out, I just felt emotional seeing my mom “hey mom, look at you” rushing over to her, hugging her close “oh my gosh, I am so happy to see you home” that is all she cares about, to see me home “I love you so much mom, what the fuck happened. Are you ok? You didn’t get hurt did you?” I don’t know what I would do without my mom “I am ok, all I care for is that we are ok. We are alive son, don’t be so worried” she says that, but I could have lost my family.

It’s weird being here now, knowing someone broke in “you know what upset me the most and a lot of it did, but they took picture of my grandchildren and my daughter in law. They just took it, I was saying it to Tootie, the picture we had in the hallway, private picture of my family, they just gone. These pictures meant so much to us and they are gone, I am hurt Chris” nodding my head frowning “they could make money on it, I got a feeling but shit like that is unique so the police could try it you know, so what happened. Did they just what, come to your rooms?” I asked “well there was three of them, and they got us out of bed. They were big on telling us to just be quiet and stay in the room, we just wanted them to take the stuff and go” I am so angry, I feel so annoyed “I think maybe y’all need to move, why don’t you move to the home Robyn and I currently live, listen to me. Just don’t pull faces and say anything. We are moving to New York, you knew this. The home is a holiday home for us now, you all can live there and when we come to LA that is fine the home will be kept for us, it will have people living there?” I want them to move “Chris, I am happy to hear that you would like us to move there but it isn’t us, Desean has school here. We are happy here” here my dad goes “you are so stubborn! You were targeted, they took everything. You have nothing, they even took my kids and wife pictures! You think I am happy, you need to move” my dad shook his head “you have changed son, look at you here with your bodyguard. Moving when you went and can, that is not us” I don’t know what my dad meant by that, but he needs to relax with that attitude and whatever he was meaning to say about it “changed?” I questioned “ignore your father Chris, I am so happy you are here” now I am side eyeing my dad “not changed, look I am just stressed about it all, sorry” he apologised.

[lumiereswig]

Do you have any crossovers with/AUs inspired by "Moulin Rouge!"? I know there's a fics list page but my wifi is so stupid slow it never loads so I can never tell.

nope! srry

since u can’t load the fics page im gonna give it all to you right here boo

Lumiere discovers something new, post-curse: Matches

Plumette/Lumiere, pre-curse. Plumette growing up and Lumiere growing close. Lit By The Sun

Plumette/Lumiere, immediately after being cursed: Fire and Feathers

Lumiere meets the prince for the first time: A Showman Through and Through

Plumette/Lumiere as college kids: Modern AU that is not super great but eh i tried

plumiere in love: it’s right here for now (at least until I edit it and make it better)

here’s Scotland

“a maid that has a crush on Lumiere faking being Plumette and trying to seduce him”: hahaha this one still makes me laugh

abandoned ‘kidnapped’ fic—here

lumiere finding out plumette is pregnant: Here.

lumiere sees the baby for the first time:  Here. Aww.

“a one shot in which plumette and lumiere go on a romantic tryst about the castle in the days following their wedding 💕”:  poor cogsworth

Lumiere is the sexiest sandwich in the palace. Here.

Plumette gets sick, it’s really sad: Right over here, pal.

More plumiere falling in love here.

Tale as old as time, older than that guy, Beauty and Maurice.

garderenza backstory? here it is

So, like: what if Mulan showed up.

“can i please have a crack-shippy fic where everybody is in love with the wrong people.” Here.

figuring out how to be human again. here

lumiere/plumette body swap HERE.

“Movie night at the castle!” As you wish.

a bunch of other maids have a crush on lumiere and try to get his attention: a short fic about trapezes

“A group of poor motherless ducklings imprint on Plumette” QUACK QUACK.

“please expand on that night when Plumette and co. got drunk because of Chapeau’s brandy + wine idea…” I don’t know why I like writing drunk!staff so much but i DO

1991, MEET 2017!

What happened to Gaston? The only Gaston fic I’ll ever write, probably. Here.

He is nineteen. She is younger. Lumiere tells Plumette a fairytale. Lit by the Moon.

“How about a fic were the staff play light as a feather stiff as a board with Plumette as the board.“ what the fuck even is this game i am still confused but on y va, i guess

ATTRACTIVE FARMER MAN AND HIS TWO WIVES

Plumette’s last seconds before the curse takes hold. Laughing Still.

Forgotten. [Ongoing]

Plumiere in the rain. Quick mini-fic. I’ve Seen Fire and Rain

“quick question : how often does lumiere get sick?” Here.

“What if the day the curse was broken the staff go batshit crazy over being able to eat again so they eat until their stomachs hurt. Then Chip starts a food fight by throwing a bread roll at Cogsworth.” THIS HAPPENED?

“A dragon comes to try and eat Plumette” Lumiere is a fire-bender

“crack fic where they somehow discover theyre fictional” this one was so fun to write, lumiere picks up ewan’s scottish accent and hates it

“What about a really cute fic were Lumiere and Plumette fake being sick so they don’t have to work and get to spend the whole day together” poor cogsworth part 2  

“Who gets the weird nightmares and who consoles the other at two in the morning because they’re in tears.” Me, because I just want my OTP to have nice things. Here.

”coffeeshop au but its still set in the 18th century“ BUT WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ROUSSEAU, THO??            

“Can you write about Lumiere throwing Plumette a surprise birthday party for her?”  hey

“Chip wants to be maître d’ someday and follows Lumière around the castle as his little protégé” he’s going to be a better one than lumiere here

“don’t think about how painful the transformation must have been for the servants" do i ever think of anything else. [the answer is no]                

“*Whispers in your ear* AMNESIAC LUMIERE”   FUCK. HOW’D YOU KNOW I LOVE AMNESIA FICS?? FUCK. ultimately one of my favorite fics. holy fuck

“*Whispers in your ear* AMNESIAC LUMIERE” part TWO, motherfuckers

“Maybe one during the curse where they can suddenly hear the soundtrack around them?“ poor cadenza

“What if somebody after the curse was broken just out of nowhere started playing the Aria. I NEED FEELS” have you thought about horrible things yet today  

“The castle has to order in pizza” adam would like to register a complaint.

“Ewan McGregor and Lumiere switching universes" here

”A water balloon fight that gets out of hand?“ SPLASH.    

Les Miserabeauty and the Beast. Here.

“Can you do where everyone is turn into a baby” ANGST

STANFOU ROMANCE

“Nutcracker AU?!” aw fuck here

“I Never Really Knew You”—Cadenza & Adam

“He Must Loathe Me”—Chapeau & Plumette

“The Sound of Her Weeping”—Garderobe & Lumiere

“Her Little Satin Slippers”—Cogsworth & Plumette

“Home”—Mrs. Potts & Plumette

“Chapeau’s Charade”—Belle & Chapeau

“Lullaby”—Garderobe & Plumette

“Cake in the Sun”—Lumiere & Stanley

“Like You Used To”—Adam & Garderobe

“Why The Beast Eats Like….That”—Chip & The Beast

“The Boy’s Hand”—Chip & Adam

“The Pink Vest”—Garderobe & Cogsworth

“Draw”—Maurice & Adam

“They’ll Never Meet Again”—Plumette & Garderobe.

“Her Beautiful Maman”—Garderobe & Plumette, in the parents AU. Also: Lumiere & Frou-Frou. Woof.

“have Belle and Adam watch batb 2017?” sure.  

“I would love to see their reaction to singing in the rain! It’s my all time favorite movies!! ❤️❤️"  🌧🌧🌧🌧SAME 🌧🌧🌧🌧

“consider the coconut” MOANA CRACK.

“Plumiere goes to Paris?” Prequel fic! [oh là là]

“thy crackest crack of all - batb but adam/belle and lumiere/plumette swap places” lumiere turns into a dragon

“so. um. amnesiac adam?“ FUCK. FUCK.FUCK.              

”Mary Poppins would be practically perfect in every way!” Feed the fucking birds

“I should have told you a long time ago.” Plumette wakes up, after their first night together. Fits into the “Lit by the Sun” story.

“This is why we can’t have nice things/you don’t see me”—right after the curse, Plumiere cope with their new forms. Angst?

“Prove It/You’re Drunk.” Lumiere had….a night of it. Poor Cogsworth, the Continuing Saga

“great comet” fic: the candle in the mirror

“I’ve been waiting a long time.” finally a happy!cogsworth fic. Tic toc.

“Batb and Frozen crossover pls“—it’s garbage                          

The whole palace body swaps. here

“What happens when Lumiere’s family wakes up and realizes they have a son at the palace?” well SHIT ! there’s a prompt

“Chapeau having to relearn and figure out how to play the violin once he’s turned into a coatrack.” Shh.

a cuisinier fic! this fandom doesn’t deserve him

“Batb and Robin Hood crossover!!!!!” fuck

“how about the castle residents plays a giant game of live clue.” Adam would like to register another complaint

Lit by the Stars. Plumette and Lumiere meet for the first time.

“belle catches a cold?” i’m allergic to fluff

“how about amnesiac belle this time?” FUCK

w o w this one’s about plumette & belle sharing plague stories

“Can you do where Lumiere and Plumette babysit Chip while Mrs. Potts is working”  cute? ??

Wedding Cake: it’s huge

“lightly read fanfiction.” RIGHT?!

“You should let them watch the classic movie Beauty and the Beast” here

“ plumette x lumière modern spies AU” here.

“cogsworth angst” YOU GOT IT dude

“Hi, could you do some fluff and angst headcanons for Madame de Garderobe and Cadenza please xx” the honeymooners

“Shalalalalala my oh my, looks like the boy’s too shy, ain’t gonna kiss the girl” has lumiere ever been shy in his life ?

“Would you care to write a drabble of the castle redoing Mrs. and Mr. Potts’s wedding because Chip found his mother’s wedding dress and was bummed that he missed it?“ oh hey unrelated: i never dated a christmas ornament  

“imagine plumiere first met AFTER they were turned into objects” um: FUCK YES.

“Batb characters in the titanic” too soon, people. too soon.

“Plumiere prompt: A whole new world! new fantastic point of view. No one to tell us no. Or where to go. Or say we’re only dreaming.” ok    

“a touring theatre group comes to perform at the castle” this is more like a headcanon but it’s long as fuck so it ended up here              

“cogsworth discovers he can fly” this is so wrong, this is so right              

“Card Tricks”—Lumiere & Chip

“Coffee & Tea”—Lefou & Mrs. Potts

“Lion’s Mane”—Cuisiner & Plumette & Adam

“the characters read some of your fics and their reactions” o fuck. crack.

“Ok, but what about someone slipping Lumiere a love potion meant for Plumette??” kisses

Plumette stargazes; Lumiere dates someone else. Veronique

“ding dong we need more cogsworth- can we have something with him and mrs. potts bonding over all of their dumb kids” ding dong yes yes yes we do!

the villagers get cursed. a trash fic!!!![[[[ongoing]]]

Seating Arrangementsare! important! here.

“cogsworth sharing plumette’s first dance with her at her wedding, and…” I don’t dance.

poly garderenza/belle. i love this bullshit. i ship this

“Bonjour you wrote a fic about Luimere taking care of Plumette when she’s sick, can you write one about Plumette taking care of Lumiere? 💛💛” cough!

The First Untethered Hot Air Balloon Flight: oh, fuck.

garderenza content FEELS

“amnesiac belle?” COMPLETED, BITCHES. fucking ga w w d

“Can we have cogsworth headcanons?? Pretty please mon ami??” Dulce et decorum est.  

“Eclipse”—Lumiere & Chip

what if the servants came awake again, in modern days? Here

‘do you remember when we were human?’ Plumiere shit.

A history lesson w/Cogs and Lums. Beware the dust. Album.

 GARDERENZA HIGH SCHOOL AU !!!

“Woof”— Belle & Frou-Frou

“Fireworks”—Adam & Plumette

“Amnesiac Mrs. Potts?” Eh.

“a midsummer night’s dream au?” welcome to CRACK CITY [x]

“Plumette has a tragic, existential moment.” Pouf-pouf.

“a touring theatre group comes to perform at the castle. like some kind of magic, they can perform shows that don’t even exist yet” [x]

“I would ​ love if you wrote when Plumette and Lumiere came up with Be Our Guest” BE! OUR! GUEST

“The castle adopts a pet? but not like a cat or anything, like they get a pet komodo dragon or something” welcome to the zoo

garderenza’s glory [x]

“Flicker In, Flicker Out.” The curse takes its toll.

“Who would be into divination? the Supernatural? Spooky Shit™?” HEY THERE DEMONS, IT’S YA BOI.

“If each of the servants could write a book, what would they be about?” The Villeneuve Catalog of Literature, fresh off the presses.  [x]

“Cogsworth + Lumiere switch personalities?”  i fuckin love a good crack prompt. showgirls!

“Socks”—Pere Robert & Mrs. Potts

adam and belle meet as tiny kids

COLLEGE FACULTY AU FIC 

sad maurice fic: :)))))))))

“What do the servants do when they can’t sleep?” Shhhh.

Chip being in town when the curse strikes, here [ongoing!]

Belle gets used to the staff being, well.….human again. “New.”

“Have you ever done a role-swap where Belle was the princess and Adam was the boy from the village?“ CHIP. DON’T FUCK WITH THE TIME TRAVEL. Here.

The useless energy of haunted things. “Freaks of Furniture.” Thanks, JSTOR.

@batbobsession​ collab w/me called “One Moment”—their part is here, my part is there. The servants and the staff take a minute, right before the battle, to face what they’ve become.

“spooky prompt: What If the castle was haunted the year after belle breaks the spell…sadder prompt: What If the ghost was Adams mom…Worse prompt: or his father” THIS IS NOT THE FUN GHOST-HUNTING I ASKED FOR.

“Everyone says that Adam was under the spell ages, so what if the spell went on for 300+ years or whatever, and a woman hiking through the woods kind of went through what Maurice did with the tree being knocked over…” Fucking!!!! Granola bars!!!!!!!!!!!![x] [Ongoing.]  

How desperate I became. To erase. To unmake my mouth, my pulse. / To unlive. “The Writing-Desk.”

“So Very Different”—Cuisinier & Garderobe

“how would the staff and Belle and Adam react to some little kids from the village showing up trick-or-treating?“ Something like this, I imagine.

“Amnesiac Cadenza?” i do fucking love an amnesia ask

“During the curse, Adam begins to see ghostly apparitions of the servants’ human forms.” Dead men walking.

“Spooky prompt: A haunted house in Villeneuve.” i just want to talk to the demons!

“These Two Need More Love”—Chapeau & Cuisinier

“A piece inspired by the song, “A Shoulder to Cry On,” aka, ‘80S MUSIC FICS

“Adam, Belle + staff go to pick out/chop down their own Christmas tree……” Yule fic by me + other people! ho ho ho.

way down in hadestown

The fandom-spanning fic, involving Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who, and Tulio and Miguel.

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies, my grandfather said.” Evermore. Thanks Ray Bradbury.

“idk how she got there but Garderobe rules the world.” ❤️

“Oh! How about a story or headcannons of Shane and Ryan doing a Buzzfeed Unsolved Video at the enchanted castle in BatB?” [wheeze] (a FAVE)

“Words”—Garderobe & LeFou.

“what if someone confused the servants with the royals, cuz they dress better than adam and belle?” This happens regularly.

“Pere Robert somehow comes across a Time Turner” ⏳tick-tock⌛️

“Crackfic prompt: Belle is messing around with magic books (AGAIN) and somehow summons dinosaurs.” that’s , uh, that’s chaos theory

plumiere SNUGGLING FOR WARMTH TROPE????

“The BATB characters stumble into The Great Comet” EVERYBODY RAISE A GLASS

“So I’m reading the Raven Cycle by Maggie Stiefvater…..” Here.

“Please give me more singing hair brush!” the fucking hairbrush. Here.

“Please can I have a bunch of adorable hcs where Garderenza are prepping Bassette for their first concert with her singing in it too” that is a hairbrush

arrrrGGHHHH, mateys, that thar be a magical pirates fic, shiver me timbers

“lumiere gets a sunburn” ouCh

“for adelle: maybe the Official Proposal?” Here.

“ what if. an amnesia fic. where they. ALL. Got. A m n e s I a“ —MY BRAND~

“Headcanons for Belle and Adam being the world’s greatest grandparents?” also known as “be a bear, grandpa!”

“Garderenza prompt: ‘You saved my life!’” oh how divine

belle keeps playing with magic and getting everybody fucked

this collab fic with @theteaisaddictive​ is done! “agathe gets amnesia”

“Whisky and Red Wine”—Lumiere and Belle have a night in.

“AU idea: As belle is leaving the second time, something stops her and she turns and whispers ‘I love you’ before running off.” Can you say “two idiots”?

“ have you ever done any asks about what you think maurice/belle’s mum’s life was like before they had belle???” I AM ALWAYS HERE FOR THE MAURICE SAD!FICS [x]

“something sweet with adam and the plumiere child.” sweet as stolen breakfasts.

“Belle messing with magic again finds one that puts the universe into reverse” this one is straight crack i hope you like it

chip is the middle man for some major lumiworth action

“A traveller stops by for directions […] by coincidence, he’s one of Belle’s *very favorite* authors.” Wow I wonder if the world’s biggest book nerd is going to handle this in a responsible manner [x]

“a man attending a ball at the palace spots plumette, and falls in love with her beauty. she receives an anonymous present of heart-shaped chocolates on her bedside the next day, and assuming they are a present from her dear lover, eats them without a thought. moments later…..” Not exactly this trope but uhhhh it’s a love potion fic babyyyyyyy

[emakenz]

hi bonjour hello ik it's late but also. yes. here have questions.

st. elmo’s fire: what’s one piece advice you would give to someone two years younger than yourself?

dead poet’s society: the last time you made a decision that everyone around you told you not to make, how did it work out?

WAIT NO THATS AWESOME THANKS MAN

alright so. ffor the advice. i would say dont dwell on your past or your future, focus on the present. While planning for your future is a good idea, enjoy life one day at a time, dont rush through life. Enjoy the ride. Dont push yourself too hard, keep a steady pace with your efforts, consistency is key.

About the decision... hmm. Well. This ones personal but i dont mind sharing it in case anyone relates to this and can learn from it. Basically, long story short, i dropped out of high school. I was planning on going back, i was going through therapy for mental health issues (didnt last long for other reasons), but when the time came, i didnt return. I cant function in that sort of environment any longer, not that i could back then, but i could at least manage myself then, now i would break down if i had to go back. Since covid hit, it ruined everything, my whole system was absolutely fucked and i shut down, my dad still talks about how he wanted me to graduate properly and that he was one of the only kids in his family to graduate etc etc, i always get back at him with asking if he had to live through a pandemic, to which he gets pissy about lol. Moving forward, i made up new plans with my new path, im going for the easiest route for a GED since i have issues with understanding things without guidance (i need things to be broken down in simple terms, if you use big confusing words to ask me something, im not gonna get it). Nobodys really happy with the situation but its my life and nobody can force me into a path that i cant fit into, im neurodivergent, i cant function like a neurotypical. Plus i have major anxiety! I have to take the easiest paths or else i will have a meltdown. I get stressed way too easily. So the decision here was that i dropped out and didnt go back to school, that im getting a ged once i meet the qualifications, and that im rebellious against the norms of modern society. Cheat the system that cheats you, take the easiest route to success, in the end youll take pride that you finished something without getting worn down. I am the laziest motherfucker youll meet and i will find the smallest loopholes to get out of something i dont want to be a part of. Anyway thank you for the questions and i hope i answered them decently, i just woke up lmao, and i hope this teaches somebody something! Dont be a dumbass without a backup plan. Have backup plans for your backup plans. >:)

[derongguys-blog]

AN INSIDE LOOK AT THE KNICKS DRAFT WORKOUTS

By Jaymz Clements

  INT. MADISON SQUARE GARDEN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK  

DAY

 Inside the Mecca of Basketball are a smattering of people. New York Knicks president of Basketball Operations PHIL JACKSON is courtside with a brand new spiral notepad. He’s searching for a pen.

 PHIL: [muttering] Dammit. Where the fuck is my pen? Wait. Did I even bring a pen?

A KNICKS UNDERLING comes running over 

KNICKS UNDERLING: [handing Phil a pen] Here you go, boss.

PHIL: Thanks, um… it’s Steve, right?

KNICKS GM & EXECUTIVE VICE PRESIDENT STEVE MILLS: [happily] Yes! Yes it is! And not a problem Mr Jackson.

PHIL: Okay now, on your way.

 Mills scurries away and sits two rows back, his eyes never leaving Phil

PHIL: [loudly] Alright…. JEFF!

A harried, pale man gulps and looks over from on the court. He wanders to the sideline

KNICKS COACH, JEFF HORNACEK: Yes Mr. Jackson?  

PHIL: That’s enough lip from you, you flop sweating piece of shit. Who have we got up first?

HORNACEK: Uh, Mailk Monk Phil. The six-three freshman out of Kentucky.

PHIL: A freshman? What the fuck are you bringing me freshmen for, Jeff?

HORNACEK: I, uh… he can shoot really well and I just thou

PHIL: Jesus Jeff, I’m fucking with you.

 HORNACEK: Haha! Nice one, cap.

PHIL: Shut the fuck up, Jeff.

HORNACEK: Yes sir.

PHIL: And besides, I thought I told you, there’s no way I’m drafting anyone from that cunt Calipari’s team.

HORNACEK: I know, but the kid’s really good; he can handle, he can shoot the lights out, and he’d fit really well next to the big Latvian kid.

PHIL: [puzzled] Who?

HORNACEK: Porzingis?

PHIL: Oh, right…. Sure…. For now

 HORNACEK: [surprised] Wha….

 PHIL: [interrupting] Fuck up Jeff. Can this kid he play in the triangle?

HORNACEK: That’s what we’re here to find out. 

MALIK MONK wanders onto the court and addresses HORNACECK and a still sitting PHIL 

MALIK MONK: Good afternoon. It’s a real honour to meet you both. Coach Cal has nothing but the utmost res….

PHIL: Shut up kid; get out there and show me how you run off screens and pass the ball to coach in the high post, there.

MONK: Uh, yes sir.

PHIL watches for two minutes

PHIL: Yeah, now Ima need you to run in this direction… [points left]

MONK: Ok, sir.

PHIL: Now this direction [points right]

MONK: Ok, sir.

 PHIL: Remember, the high post is the most important spot in basketball…

MONK: Uh, is it?

PHIL: What did you just say to me?

MONK: It’s just that Coach Cal always said that in the spread motion offe…

PHIL: [yelling] GET THE FUCK OUT MY GYM!

MONK looks around, confused. He’s eventually escorted out by HORNACECK

 ---------------

 15 mins later

 HORNACEK approaches a still seated PHIL, who appears to be napping

HORNACEK: Ah. Mr Jackson?

PHIL: [startled] Fucking hell Jeff. Warn a guy, would you?

HORNACEK: Yes sir.

PHIL: [angrily] What the fuck do you want?

HORNACEK: Uh, our next tryout is here.

PHIL: Fuck me. Alright, who’s this one?

HORNACEK: This one is Dennis Smith Jr, six foot two point guard out of North Carolina State.

PHIL: [ looking over at DSj ]How tall?

HORNACEK: Ah, six two.

PHIL: [yelling over to DENNIS SMITH JR] GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GYM!

HORNACEK: [muttering to himself] Goddammit.

PHIL: WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY JEFF?

HORNACEK: Nothing, sir.

PHIL: That’s what I thought.

 PHIL looks around the empty Madison Square Garden… spies STEVE MILLS still staring intently at him

 PHIL: [muttering] Creepy fucker…. [looking up at HORNACECK]  Well… what the fuck are you waiting for? Go get the next one!

HORNACEK: Yes sir. Next up we have Lonzo Ball.

PHIL: Really? The one with the dad?

HORNACEK: Oh Jesus. Not this again.

 LONZO BALL bounds up, dead eyes full of nothing

LONZO BALL: Hello Mr Jackson.

PHIL: Where’s your dad?

HORNACEK: Oh shit.

LONZO: He’s just behind m….

LAVAR BALL runs in out of breath, and grabs LONZO back off the court

 LAVAR: NO YOU DON’T MOTHERFUCKER.

PHIL: Hey! I like this guy. Who the fuck are you?

LAVAR: I’m the papa of the greatest basketball player you ever saw.

PHIL: [puzzled] You’re Derek Fisher’s dad?

LAVAR: [confused] …Wha..what? No motherfucker, I’m Lavar Ball, and no New York Knicks is ever going to draft my son! [LAVAR puffs out his chest] You select him, we gonna go to Italy, like motherfucking KOBE.

 LAVAR leans down to address a still-seated PHIL

 LAVAR: [screaming] LAKERS FOR LIFE!!!!  

 Unperturbed, PHIL eyeballs LAVAR back

PHIL: [ignoring LAVAR] Jeff you flop-sweating sonofabitch, call security.

 LAVAR is grabbed by the, er, overzealous MSG security

LAVAR: [yelling as he’s is dragged away] Aww you Knick motherfuckers gon do me like Oak, huh? Lakers for life motherfucker!! YOU AIN’T SHIT PHIL! I’m TWICE the coach you are. NO! FIVE times the coach you are. Ima win 55 rings! And Ima bang Jeannie too.

PHIL: [nodding to himself] I like that guy.

Still seated, PHIL looks around at the sparsely populated gym

PHIL: Jeff, you fucking look like someone put a men’s suit on a 14-year-old. Who’s next?

HORNACEK: [sighing] Ah, Jonathan Isaac. Big, six-eleven swing forward outta Florida State.

JONATHAN ISAAC: It’s an honour to meet you Mr Jackson. I’ve been a huge fan of yours my entire life; my dad used to show me all your Bulls and Lakers game to teach me how to play!

PHIL: [not looking up] What are the parameters of an isosceles triangle?

JONATHAN ISAAC: Ah…. What’s an isosceles triangle?

PHIL: [yelling] GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY GYM.  

ISAAC slinks away in shame. PHIL glances behind him and sees STEVE MILLS still staring at him

PHIL: Jesus Christ. …. JEFF!

HORNACEK: [sighing] Yes sir?

PHIL: Who’s next, you Jerry Sloan-loving flex offense pansy? And they better not be shit, or I’ll kick your ass like I did in the ’97 and ’98 finals. You hear?

HORNACEK: [close to tears] ah… ah… a sweet-shooting, seven-foot white fella from Arizona, Lauri Markkanen.

PHIL: What the fuck Jeff?

HORNACEK: Ah, what, sir?

PHIL: We’ve already got one of those. Well. For now.

HORNACEK: [incredulous] WHA…

PHIL: [interrupting] And this one’s got a girl’s name. Get rid of him before he comes in.

As HORNACEK scurries off, PHIL settles in for a nap

 -----------

 … 15 mins later

 HORNACEK approaches a napping PHIL

HORNACEK: [softly] Ah… Phil?

PHIL: [startled] FUCKING HELL JEFF, WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT WARNING A GUY. JESUS H CHRIST YOU CRAGGY-NOSED CARPETBAGGING SONOFABITCH. DO YOU WANT ME TO FIRE YOU AND REPLACE YOU WITH THAT FUCKING DUNCE KURT RAMBIS?

HORNACEK is close to tears. From the other side of the gym KURT RAMBIS gives two thumbs up

PHIL: Right. Who’s next.

HORNACEK: [gulping away a sob] Ah… ah…. It’s the French kid. Point guard, six foot five, Frank Niki…Nikitilini….Nkitilinia? Whatever: I don’t fucken know; you’re gonna just call him Frenchie Frank or something anyway.

PHIL: Frenchie Frank, eh?

FRANK NTILIKINA: Bonjour Monsieur Jackson.

PHIL: Frenchie. What are the parameters of an isosceles triangle? 

FRANK NTILIKINA: Ah. The isosceles. My favourite of all the geometric shapes. To answer your query, Mr Jackson, an isosceles triangle must have two sides of equal length, and subsequently two equal angles.

 PHIL: Fucking finally! [yelling] JEFF! YOU SPUD-HEADED JOHN STOCKTON BUMCHUM.

HORNACEK: [standing right next to where Phil is sitting] I’m right here sir?

PHIL: [yelling] WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TALKING BACK TO ME YOU LITTLE IOWAN TURD-FARMER?

HORNACEK: Ah, to not to, sir.

PHIL: Damn straight. Anyway. We’re taking the French kid. Now, where’s my weed guy?

HORNACEK: [sighing] I’ll go get Dolan.

 [fade to black]

[xnjolras]

They're gonna try and make enj straight with a flavor saver like that aren't they. Everyone knows heinous facial hair is the mark of a hetero

that’s 100% what i’m expecting – you & i are on the same page.

i’d put money down that he’s gonna fuck some random girl by the end of the series. davies has fucked up the rest of the story from what i hear, so why stop now?

[xnjolras]

I can't BELIEVE you have the NERVE to pull a 180 like this gabby oh my g O D

SHUT UP ABBI IT WAS A GOOD SCENE

[xnjolras]

I'm a touch mad Enj got more attractive grime-y.

I’M GLAD I’M NOT THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS WAY TBH

[xnjolras]

I SNORTED WATER THROUGH MY NOSE AT THAT I'M GONNA DIE enj just really confused by the heterosexuality abounds

LMAO SORRY ABOUT THAT

PLS DON’T DIE

[xnjolras]

gabby i can't even look at the fcuking gifset.

IT’S A LOT TO HANDLE

i wasn’t expecting it to affect me like this

and yet

there they are

holding hands

[xnjolras]

it's like a gross pill AND ear drops just because enj is looking like That

oh boy, enj looking like that is WORSE than ear drops imo.

it’s like

idk

taking your dog to the vet & pretending you’re just going for a routine checkup when SURPRISE ––– it’s time to neuter ya, buddy.

[xnjolras]

venmo her back for expenses due to exasperation

a venmo notification pops up like ‘gabby has charged you $500′

[xnjolras]

I just found your blog and, while your portrayal is good, Enjolras is clearly a white man in the brick, I'm not sure how you think you can just say otherwise, especially considering the story takes place in 1800s France.

heyyy thanks for the feedback! 

luckily, i DO have a defense for depicting him this way, even in 1832.

please excuse the ‘read more’, i just don’t wanna fill the dash with all this research & citation:

BECAUSE I DON’T FUCKING CARE, BRENDA.

[xnjolras]

jw, would you ever consider writing bellamy? i feel like you'd be really good at it, he and enjolras have a lot in common!

they DO have a lot in common, it’s true!

unfortunately, even if i were paid by the hour to run that blog, no sum of money would be enough for me to have to put up with that rpc / fandom lmao.

[xnjolras]

'#none of you missed this shit from me' incorrect, i always laugh when i see these posts, i'm just sorry you have to keep making them!

aaaaaaaa this is really sweet, thank you.

yeah in a perfect world i wouldn’t HAVE to keep making those posts while simultaneously goofing about their frequency, but apparently we still live in a world where fandom needs to justify their hatred for a character by referring to him as a generic white dude, because to admit he’s a man of color would mean they’d have to come to terms with their oft-racist treatment of him.

but. y’know ☕️☕️☕️