#❥ a canary in the coalmine (but.cher x hug.hie)

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Listen! I am just as excited for S4 as the next guy BUT I am also so fkn worried about Hug.hie and But.cher so bad. I want them to be okay, but it feels like a heartbreak may approach (don't wanna say it for certain so as to not manifest it lmao) and I don't want it, please don't take my sunshines away. 😭

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Hughie asking for a good-bye and Butcher giving it to him just... 🥺😭

But also... his canary.

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The fact that it is Hug.hie's voice that stops him.

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Contrary to what people may think, But.cher can and would be a better father than his own — he wouldn't be the best, but he'd be pretty darn good. Sure, he does have his anger issues, that incessant rage that fills him regularly, yet there have been many instances in which he keeps it in check. He fights it out and brings himself back. He's protective and devoted towards the people he loves, so much so that he denies his nature, he actively goes against it to be a better person for them. Granted, he won't and doesn't always succeed, but know that if he ever laid a finger on his children, he'd never forgive himself, – probably even go so far as to off himself – no matter how soft or hard the blow. He'd much rather raise his voice and keep the children at arms' length for their safety than physically attack them, despite whatever urges may arise. Emotional attack is still an attack, yes, so he would need for his partner to steer him clear of those, since he definitely cannot keep those in check. It doesn't help that pushing those he loves away is his defense mechanism — both to protect them and to protect himself. This foes to say that he definitely can't do this alone, he needs support. He needs the support of someone who believes he is not a monster, someone who trusts that he can do better and push him to do so. Someone who keeps him from falling into his vices, into the cycle of abuse. He needs help, lots of it, but know that he will push his weight, he most definitely will try. It's been shown various times with subtle things throughout the series that he is trying. He is not some mindless, uncaring monster, he wants to go against his "fate". He wants to be better, despite succumbing time and time again. And that's what's so tragic about him, that he is actually trying, despite his circumstances pushing him to the edge. This is also why I know Hug.hie would be such a good partner for him — the one positive and even flawed force he needs and quietly adores.

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I don't want to have to let you go

The crumbling sadness still keeps me afloat

I don't know why

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The face of two people in love with the same dude.

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But.cher being vulnerable 🥺

But.cher being vulnerable with Hug.hie because he feels he's the one he can trust the most out of anyone he knows. 🥺😭

But.cher losing control. 🥺

But.cher losing control and being calmed down and taken care of by Hug.hie after having a panic attack for losing such control (and internally comparing himself to his father). 🥺😭