#❝ we're making a new beginning. | rick grimes. / threads.

[insufferablemonsters]

𝔯𝔦𝔠𝔨 𝔤𝔯𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔰 & 𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔞 𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔯𝔦𝔰𝔬𝔫 - 𝔠𝔬𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔲𝔢𝔡 𝔣𝔯𝔬𝔪 𝔥𝔢𝔯𝔢 𝔴𝔦𝔱𝔥 @wexarethewalkingxdead.

rick  couldn't  help  but  feel  that  all  of  this  was  happening  because  of  him.  this  had  to  be  all  his  fault.  he's  the  one  that  started  the  feud  between  his  community  and  woodbury.  he's  the  one  that  stormed  the  governor's  town  and  took  them  down,  taking  his  people  with  him.  he  thought  he  was  doing  it  for  the  greater  good  and  to  recreate  the  civilization  that  was  once  lost  when  all  of  this  started,  when  the  world  had  been  swallowed  by  the  walkers  and  the  people  the  desired  to  have  power  over  the  weaker  ones.  rick  wanted  a  chance  to  fix  all  of  that,  but  now  he  was  paying  the  price  for  attempting  to  create  a  peace  that  maybe  was  never  there  to  begin  with. it  hurt  rick  to  see  andrea  in  the  governor's  death  grip.  he  could  see  she  was  struggling  for  air  and  desperate  to  escape  him,  but  she  couldn't,  she  tried.  he  was  at  a  loss.  he  wasn't  sure  what  his  next  move  was  going  to  be.  what  could  he  do  that  wouldn't  result  in  more  death?  his  eyes  rounded  out  when  the  governor  spoke  and  drew  a  pistol,  only  to  point  it  at  him.  he  swallowed  thickly,  searching  his  mind  for  anything  he  could  do  to  defuse  this  situation  that  was  escalating  faster  than  he  could  think. he  kept  his  hands  up,  his  breathing  unsteady  as  his  nerves  begin  to  grow  more  ragged,  ❛  no,  stop.  just  ...  stop  ❜  he  begged  softly,  his  voice  cracking.  ❛  this  ain't  her  fault.  she  was  trynna  fix  thangs,  between  us,  make  thangs  work  ...  ❜  he  trailed  off,  attempting  to  explain  and  reason,  but  he  wasn't  sure  how  long  that  was  going  to  last  or  if  it'll  work  at  all.  he  needed  to  try  hershel's  way  before  resorting  to  violence  that  could  only  lead  to  a  path  that  ended  with  death.  ❛  we  can  change  thangs.  we  can  work  together.  you  don't  need  t'do  this  ...  ❜  he  stepped  forward  cautiously,  never  taking  his  eyes  off  the  governor.  he  signaled  andrea  with  his  eyes  that  he  had  a  plan,  to  stay  on  the  tips  of  her  toes.  ❛  it  don't  gotta  be  this  way  ...  ❜

[insufferablemonsters]

it  was  obvious  that  daryl  wasn't  happy  with  the  situation  that  rick  has  put  alexandria  in,  but  it  was  something  he  believed  was  best  for  the  future,  for  humanity.  how  were  they  supposed  to  go  on  and  create  a  civilized  society  again  if  they  just  killed  those  people,  treated  them  exactly  the  way  they  were  treated?  how  would  they  be  any  better?  how  COULD  they  be  any  better?

he  shook  his  head  in  disblief,  scoffing,   ❛   and  what  do  you  think  i  should  do  'bout  it  then,  daryl?  kill  em'?  i  ain't  doin'  that   ...   i'm  not  gunna  be  like  'em.  we're  better  than  that.   ❜

bullshit, bullshit, and more bullshit. daryl doesn't see how this is helping their people stay safe. in fact, it seems to him that it's exactly the opposite: allowing the saviors to remain in the sanctuary while their former leader sits in a cell will only create more problems for their people. he knows it.

‘ you even hear yourself, man? this ain't gonna work. you think they're gonna change?— you think they deserve another chance? ’

[insufferablemonsters]

rick  settled  back  into  his  chair,  arms  folded  over  his  chest,  as  he  rolled  his  eyes  sarcastically  and  annoyingly  huffed  under  his  breath.  she  wasn't  telling  him  anything  he  hadn't  already  know  about  negan   —   until  she  mentioned  that  he  seemed  to  be  scared  of  what  was  to  come  as  well.  did  they   ...   finally  have  something  in  common?  rick  refused  to  believe  there  was  any  humanity  left  in  that  monster.  after  all  the  things  he's  done,  he  couldn't  picture  negan  walking  down  a  path  of  redemption.  he  was  far  too  gone.  rick  sniffed,  back  of  his  palm  rubbed  at  his  nose  briefly,  and  he  chuckled  softly,  shaking  his  head.  he  leaned  in,  elbows  resting  on  his  knees  as  he  canted  his  head  at  sherry,   ❛   you  really  expect  me  to  believe  that?   ❜   he  asked  in  disbelief.  sherry's  next  words  intrigued  rick.  if  she  was  being  truthful  and  genuine  in  wanting  to  help  his  community  and  the  others  that  are  in  danger,  they  could  easily  get  ahead  of  negan's  twisted  game.  this  could  change  their  entire  trajectory.  the  only  question  that  remained  was,  could  he  trust  her?  he  rubbed  his  beard  as  he  pondered  his  racing  thoughts,   ❛   if  you're  warnin'  me,  why  don't  you  tell  me  exactly  what  negan  is  plannin'?  you  want  to  help,  right?  prove  it,   ❜   he  stated  firmly.

it  did  mean  something  that  she  was  here,  despite  negan's  knowledge  or  approval  of  her  little  adventure.  rick  knew  sherry  could  easily  get  punished  in  a  fatal  way  if  negan  were  to  find  out  she  had  gone  behind  his  back  and  betrayed  him  with  his  worst  enemy.  it  did  mean  something.  rick  just  wasn't  sure  if  it  was  enough  for  him  to  trust  her.  him  and  his  family,  his  community,  had  gone  through  too  much  to  easily  trust  someone  that  had  been  in  cahoots  with  their  biggest  enemy.  it  was  going  to  take  a  lot  for  rick  to  instill  trust  in  her.  she  needed  to  prove  it  in  some  way.  they  were  mere  inches  away  from  each  other  now  that  they  are  both  leaned  in.  rick  could  see  the  sincerity  lingering  in  her  eyes   ...   even  fear.   ❛   you  think  i  don't  know  that?   ❜   he  responded  through  his  teeth.  he  looked  away  for  a  brief  moment  but  when  he  looked  back  when  she  spoke  again,  words  he  had  been  waiting  to  hear,  he  looks  up  at  her  as  she's  on  her  feet,  confidently  even.  he  stands  along  with  her,  inches  away  from  the  bars  that  kept  her,   ❛   you  can't  just  expect  me  to  trust  you  outright,  to  just  let  you  in  and  make  fools  of  us   —   ❜   he  started,  glancing  around  then  down  at  his  feet  and  back  at  sherry.   ❛   if  we're  doin'  this,  yer  comin'  with  us.  you'll  take  us  to  the  spots,  and  if  you're  lyin'   ...   i'll  hand  you  right  back  to  him.   ❜

( Sherry & Rick Grimes ) - From Here - @insufferablemonsters

【❖】  ――――   Sherry's  eyes  flickered  in  hesitation  before  she  finally  spoke,  her  voice  barely  above  a  whisper.  ❝  No,  he  doesn't  know  I'm  here.  And  if  he  did,  this  place  would  be  on  fire  right  now.  ❞  She  paused,  taking  a  deep  breath  before  continuing,  ❝  Negan  is...  he's  not  who  you  think  he  is.  He's  cruel,  ruthless,  but  he's  also  scared.  Scared  of  what  you  could  do,  Rick.  Scared  of  losing  his  power.  ❞  Sherry  shifted  uncomfortably  in  her  seat,  her  eyes  darting  around  the  dimly  lit  cell.  She  could  sense  the  tension  radiating  off  of  Rick,  his  piercing  gaze  making  her  feel  even  more  exposed  and  vulnerable.  But  she  knew  she  had  to  tread  carefully  if  she  wanted  any  chance  of  getting  out  of  this  alive.  ❝  I  came  on  my  own.  I  wanted  to  warn  you,  Rick.  Negan...  he's  planning  something  big.  He's  going  to  strike  soon,  and  when  he  does,  no  one  is  safe.  ❞  The  last  thing  she  wanted  was  to  see  even  more  people  lose  their  lives  over  something  as  stupid  and  immature  as  to  ‘who  had  the  biggest  set  of  balls’.

❝  I  know  of  you  and  your  people  because  of  Daryl.  He  tried  to  help  me  once  and  I’d  like  to  be  able  to  return  that  favor.  ❞  She  swallowed  hard,  meeting  Rick's  gaze  with  a  mix  of  determination  and  fear.  Sherry  knew  she  was  risking  everything  by  being  here,  by  betraying  Negan  in  this  way.  But  as  she  spoke,  it  became  clear  that  her  loyalty  lay  with  a  desire  to  do  what  was  right,  to  prevent  unnecessary  bloodshed  and  devastation.  ❝  Please  don’t  call  me  that.  You  have  no  idea  what  I’ve  been  through  in  that  place.  I  understand  your  skepticism,  Rick.  ❞  Now  it  was  her  turn  to  lean  forward  where  she  was  sitting.  ❝  The  lives  of  the  people  you  care  about  hang  in  the  balance.  You  challenged  Negan  and  he  won’t  take  that  laying  down.  You  have  nothing  to  bargain  with  to  make  him  back  off.  ❞  It  was  then  she  finally  stood  up  and  walked  over  to  the  bars,  eyes  locked  on  Rick.  ❝  You  need  to  know  where  he's  positioned  his  men,  where  he's  storing  his  weapons.  Every  in  and  out  of  the  Sanctuary  and  I  know  it  all  .  ❞  She  had  crossed  a  line  that  could  never  be  uncrossed,  but  she  knew  in  her  gut  that  this  was  the  right  thing  to  do.

[insufferablemonsters]

rick  swore  he  saw  his  life  flash  before  his  eyes  when  carl  had  passed  out  in  the  passenger  seat.  it  was  like  seeing  carl  get  shot  when  he  saw  that  deer  all  over  again;  the  memory  making  him  feel  sick  to  his  stomach  ...  not  to  mention  when  carl  had  gotten  his  eye  grazed  by  a  bullet  ...  but  he  knew  he  had  to  hold  it  together  for  his  son.  if  he  lost  his  mind  right  now,  he  might  not  be  able  to  be  there  for  carl,  and  he's  more  important  than  anything  else  at  this  moment.  he  reached  over  and  touched  carl's  shoulder  gently,  ❛  carl  ...  ?  ❜  he  whispered  softly.  before  rick  could  investigate  his  son's  consciousness  further,  carl  had  awoken.  he  took  a  deep  breath  in  and  exhaled  in  relief,  glad  to  see  he  hadn't  passed  out  longer  than  a  few  minutes.  the  longer  he  was  out,  the  more  likely  it  could've  meant  he  had  a  concussion,  and  rick  couldn't  handle  that  right  now.  ❛  try  to  stay  awake,  son.  i  know  it's  hard,  but  ---  ❜  he  swallowed  thickly,  accelerating  his  speed.

rick  continued  to  gain  speed  as  he  drove  erratically  down  the  road  that  led  them  back  to  alexandria,  wanting  carl  to  get  checked  out  as  soon  as  possible.  but,  that's  when  carl  announced  he  needed  to  vomit.  rick  didn't  have  a  problem  with  carl  vomiting  in  the  car  if  he  needed  to,  but  it  seemed  that  carl  wanted  him  to  stop.  that  was  something  rick  didn't  want  to  do.  them  stopping  meant  delaying  them  getting  back  home  and  carl  getting  checked  out  by  denise.  rick  was  about  to  protest,  but  carl  insisted  he  did.  he  groaned  lightly  at  the  bottom  of  his  throat  and  swiftly  pulled  over,  but  careful  enough  not  to  jerk  around  carl  too  much.  rick  immediately  puts  the  car  into  park  and  jumps  out  to  open  the  door  for  carl,  helping  him  out  gently.

once  carl  had  gotten  out,  rick  steps  back  to  allow  him  the  much-needed  space  to  breathe  and  do  what  he  needed  to  do.  rick  knew  he  couldn't  make  his  son  very  comfortable  right  now,  but  the  best  he  could  do  was  give�� him  the  space  he  desired.  rick  turned  away  to  grant  carl  some  privacy,  looking  up  at  the  sky,  ❛  you  alright?  you  need  anythin'?  ❜  he  asked,  hands  on  his  hips.

NORMALLY CARL WOULDN'T BE SO QUICK TO JUST LET RICK TAKE CARE OF HIM, but he can't see straight and feels like he might throw up again, so he lets his father help him back into the car while nodding to answer his question. he does what rick tells him to FOR ONCE, buckling his seatbelt after the older man gets the car started. it doesn't take carl long before he passes out, his body going limp as his head gently rests against the car window. he won't be out for long, he never is, but it's still enough to make people panic when they see him in that state. it's only a few minutes before carl wakes up again, but it doesn't mean he feels any better when he comes to.

IN FACT, he actually feels worse. his head still hurts, he still feels like he'll vomit, AND he's tired. at least this time he's not delirious. that has happened a few times and scares the shit out of everyone when it does. the first time it happened he couldn't even form a complete sentence, but that was a week after he'd been shot and denise said it was expected. once he gets his bearings and realises they're still in the car, carl finally says something, even if he knows it'll sound concerning. ❝ dad, i don't feel good... ❞

THAT'S SORT OF THE BOY'S WAY OF SAYING 'PLEASE PULL THE CAR OVER OR I WILL PUKE INSIDE OF IT,' because he's sure he will if his father doesn't stop the car. he's absolutely sure he's going to throw up again, he can feel it in the back of his throat and in his stomach, it hurts. it's normal, him feeling sick after he hits his head or passes out, so it's not something he wants rick freaking out about. but of course, he's the man's son, so hearing carl say something like that will probably make him panic. he's started to hate his dad fussing over him, like he's this broken object that needs fixing. he lost his eye and he's not getting it back, HE DIDN'T BREAK ALL OF HIS BONES. there isn't a way to FIX HIM. not that he'd even know how to if there was. carl's pretty sure eye transplants don't exist. ❝ dad, pull over or i'm gonna throw up all over the car. ❞

[insufferablemonsters]

it  was  difficult  for  rick  to  see  the  bright  side  of  things  right  now,  or  even  if  there  was  any  kind  of  silver  lining  in  the  far  future.  the  light  at  the  end  of  the  tunnel  was  a  dim  one,  and  he  wished  he  could  see  it  with  his  own  eyes,  but  he  just  couldn't.  that's  why  he  had  kept  himself  busy  by  forging  for  supplies  to  keep  the  saviors  occupied,  scouting  out  the  maps  for  new  places  to  scavenge,  and  keeping  his  family  safe  as  much  as  possible.  he  wanted  to  try  and  keep  the  contact  between  them  and  the  saviors  as  minimal  as  possible  because  the  less  exposure  they  had  to  them,  the  less  likely  something  would  happen  to  them  at  the  hands  of  negan  and  his  people  ...  right?  rick  had  to  believe  that,  but  a  much  more  rational  and  larger  part  of  him  knew  that  it  wasn't  true.  at  some  point,  he  was  going  to  have  to  plan  an  attack  against  them.  he  just  wasn't  ready  yet.  he  had  to  be  completely  sure  of  what  they  were  up  against  and  the  smartest  way  to  go  about  it  before  he  made  any  kind  of  move.  he  nodded  at  kyleigh's  words,  ❛  how  do  you  think  i  should  go  'bout  't,  then?  ❜  he  asked  with  a  small  laugh  falling  from  his  lips.  he  thought  about  her  next  words  for  a  moment.  he  didn't  spend  a  lot  of  time  thinking  about  the  way  the  world  used  to  be  because  he  didn't  think  there  was  much  of  a  point.  there  was  no  going  back,  but  that  didn't  stop  him  from  thinking  about  the  memories  he  held  close  to  his  heart  of  his  family.  he  nodded  once,  ❛  yer  right.  y'know,  i  used  to  try  and  hide  these  thangs  from  carl,  to  protect  him.  i  didn't  want  him  t'  grow  up  too  fast  ❜  he  started,  eyes  stayed  on  the  road  ahead  of  them.  ❛  but  there's  no  stoppin'  that.  not  with  the  way  the  world  is  now.  he's  gotta  know  how  t'  protect  himself.  just  like  we  all  do  ❜  he  finished. rick's  hand  lingered  for  a  long  moment  before  he  realized  just  where  his  hand's  placement  was.  he  slowly  took  it  back,  clearing  his  throat  awkwardly  and  scratching  the  back  of  his  neck.  he  apologized  softly  under  his  breath,  not  wanting  to  make  her  uncomfortable.  he  didn't  even  realize  what  he  had  done  until  it  had  been  done.  maybe  it  was  done  subconsciously,  he  wasn't  sure.  he  peered  at  the  map  on  her  lap  and  then  back  to  the  road,  ❛  m'  sure  it'll  come  back  t'  you.  promise  it  ain't  hard  ❜  he  told  her.  ❛  sure,  i'll  let  y'know  but  m'  fine  right  now.  don't  think  i  can  sleep.  ❜

Sometimes Kyleigh's mouth was a lot faster than her brain. And most of the time it ended up with her in trouble. This time she got a somewhat positive reaction out of Rick, and even she had to smile a little. Yes she knew they were all going through a really rough time right now with Negan, but that didn't mean they had to constantly walk around in a cloud of doom. And she was determined even if it was in some small way to get Rick to forget about blaming himself for a bit. Though she still felt like he didn't have to take all that blame, the half lycan had finally accepted the fact that he was going to do it whether she liked it or not. So while this might not have been the best way to distract a man drowning in his own grief, she felt like she had gained a small victory in that moment. "Yeah I suppose that's one to go about it." He wasn't drinking himself silly or completely shutting down like a lot of the others. One step at a time, that was what they said. Glancing up at just the right moment she was able to catch that small smile on his face, the thought crossing her mind that it was nice. Sure she had seen him smile a few times before and thought the same thing. But it was her that was making it happen this time, someone she thought didn't really mean that much to the sheriff. "We all think that when we're young don't we? Just a bunch of useless stuff being passed down from one generation to the next. We never realize how important it is until we actually need it." But then again, who would have thought any of them would be in these types of situations anyway?

The lightest touch of his hand resting where it did pulled her gaze away from the dingy window shield, her eyebrow rising in surprise. It was the dumbest thing really, nothing of any real importance. But suddenly her heart pounded in her chest and she couldn't seem to bring her eyes to meet Rick's. "My uncle taught me when I was younger but it's been a long time…" She replied, barely above a whisper. In all her travels around the country she had always relied on maps instead of G.P.S. to get where she needed to, but she just couldn't bring herself to say anything. Rick was focusing on something positive and she didn't want to ruin that for him. "That's alright with me. If you need a break to stretch your legs or anything just let me know. I can drive for a little while if you don't mind riding shotgun." Humans tired easily, and with all the shit that had happened recently Rick looked like he was constantly fighting to stay awake. The last thing she wanted was for them to get into an accident because he was too tired but didn't want to say anything.

[insufferablemonsters]

after  everything  rick  had  endured  at  the  merciless  hands  of  negan  himself,  he  felt  he  needed  this.  this  was  a  necessary  distraction,  and  not  only  because  they  needed  to  gather  supplies  to  hand  over  to  negan  once  he  arrived  in  the  coming  weeks,  but  it  was  also  a  great  way  to  keep  his  mind  off  of  things.  the  visuals  of  glenn  and  abraham's  abrupt  death  still  flashed  through  his  mind,  causing  his  heart  to  sink  deeper  and  deeper  into  a  dark  fog,  unable  to  find  himself.  he  felt  lost,  and  he  wasn't  sure  he  was  the  leader  that  his  family  and  the  rest  of  alexandria  needed.  how  could  he  lead  these  people  after  being  responsible  for  his  own  friends'  deaths?  he  knew  that  wasn't  fair  of  him,  to  put  all  the  blame  upon  himself,  but  he  couldn't  help  it.  if  he  hadn't  been  the  one  wanting  to  take  on  negan's  people,  to  wipe  them  out  entirely  and  stay  steps  ahead  of  them,  glenn  and  abraham  would  still  be  alive  today.  he  couldn't  help  but  constantly  think  that,  feel  that.  but,  this  trip  isn't  about  letting  his  dark  thoughts  drown  over  and  over  again,  as  they  have  been  ever  since  that  night.  this  trip  was  all  about  keeping  his  mind  off  the  trauma  that's  scarred  him  and  possibly  growing  his  friendship  with  kyleigh.  he  could  see  how  chipper  she  seemed  to  be  to  venture  out  beyond  the  walls  of  alexandria,  he  didn't  blame  her.  being  cooped  up  was  never  fun,  and  it  was  good  for  the  soul  to  leave  every  once  in  a  while;  to  stay  reminded  of  the  world  outside.  always  remember  that  danger  lurked  around  every  corner;  they  couldn't  get  too  comfortable  within  their  community.  his  eyebrows  furrowed  at  kyleigh's  choice  of  words,  pursing  his  lips  at  bewilderment.  he  certainly  didn't  expect  for  her  to  say  that,  but  he  couldn't  deny  that  there  was  a  sense  of  humor  laced  within  her  words.  he  chuckled  lightly  under  his  breath,   ❛   jus'  keepin'  busy.  need  t'  be,  after  everything   ...   ❜   he  shrugged  slightly,  keeping  his  eyes  on  the  road.

rick  was  torn  away  from  his  thoughts,  thankfully,  when  kyleigh  spoke  up  again.  he  glanced  over  at  her,  eyes  peering  briefly  at  the  map  on  her  lap,  and  then  back  on  the  road,  hands  resting  gently  on  the  steering  wheel.  he  smiled  small,   ❛   my  dad  taught  me  some  thangs  here  and  there.  didn't  much  care  for  it  back  then,  but  t's  a  big  help  now,  ain't  it?   ❜   he  chuckled  under  his  breath.   ❛   sorry   —   y'know  how  to  read  all  that?  i  can  show  ya   ❜   he  offered,  reaching  over  and  pointed  at  one  of  the  circles  on  the  map,  his  hand  barely  resting  on  her  lap,  but  he  doesn't  notice.   ❛   this  is  our  first  stop.  little  outta  the  way  since  we  gotta  take  the  scenic  route,  but  if  we  keep  movin',  we'll  get  there  by  the  mornin'   ❜   he  added.

It was embarrassing to be this excited to get out from behind those gates, but Kyleigh wasn't even going to try to hide it. She felt like she didn't have to with Rick, and while she understood just how dangerous it was now to be outside the walls she just didn't give a shit. If she wasn't allowed to go out and get her own sweet revenge on Negan for what he had done to their family then she was going to make it her life goal to keep the ones left behind safe and alive. They needed to be for those that they had lost and for one day getting that revenge on the asshole with the bat. The half lycan figured their leader would have a car ready for them, but she had to admit that she was very impressed with how well thought out Rick had been with the preparations. And despite her ever present desire to be the driver she didn't let out a peep when he sat himself behind the wheel. Her only regret was that she didn't have a bunch of CDs with her so she could play DJ while he drove. Probably for the best anyway. It wasn't that smart to have music blaring while driving under the cover of night. Walkers were hard enough to spot anyway, didn't need to attract even more of them with her obnoxious love of early 2000s boy bands. "Well look at you covering all your bases! If I didn't know any better, I could swear you hadn't just gone through one of the most traumatic experiences of your life." Though it was meant as a tease Kyleigh was telling the truth. Rick putting up such a brave front while no doubt sinking even deeper into his guilt over what had happened was pretty damn impressive. No it was actually admirable, and the half lycan rarely thought that about anyone. It was a shame they hadn't met in the world before, though she probably would have given him so much shit for being a cop. Even if, as she was assuming, he had looked damn good in that uniform. Turning her face towards her window so he couldn't see the flush that coated her cheeks Kyleigh forced herself to focus on the task at hand. This world wasn't one for anything other than surviving and keeping the family safe.

The silence was actually pretty nice, Kyleigh had never minded not speaking while traveling with someone. She was sure Rick had a million things on his mind anyway, her eyes watching as he reached effortlessly for the map stashed in the glove box. "Okay I'm seriously starting to wonder when the hell you had time to do all this Rick. You weren't also a boy scout were you?" Rarely did any of them speak of their lives before the end, but if they had forty miles to go a little chit chat couldn't hurt. Silently she thanked her Uncle for teaching her how to read a map, or else she would simply have to pretend she knew what she was looking at.