#❝ die mad about it — ( psa ) •

[defsiarte]

New scammer alert! This person is stealing photos from a Filipino influencer to pretend to be a citizen of Gaza seeking abortion care. This is the most disgusting thing I’ve seen on here honestly.

PayPal name: Verian Mumbo

How to identify scammers

[theinfinitedivides]

still in the k-pop vein tonight but even among all this blatant and malicious f*ckery Hanbin drops the Love or Loved Part 2 tracklist like the king he is bc can't none of y'all do sh*t to stop him. you wish you could but God said keep on dreaming that success is not for you!!!!!! you did not plant that seed so you will not reap what you have not sown!!!!!!

[laniidae-passerine]

also I think white people who leverage brown people and brown characters to prove they are The Wokest White Person Who Consumes Media should be lined up outside and shot

[fuck-customers]

Love when managers try to get me to do the exact opposite of company policy and then get mad and scold me for not breaking company policy. Die mad lmao

I don't know the specifics of what happened, but I heard one of my managers yelling at someone towards the back of the store while I was on register. Something about putting back what he stole. A few minutes later, a guy goes running towards the door with 2 managers chasing him. Both managers are yelling at me to stop him.

Now, lucky for me, I remembered my training videos, as well as what friends and family have advised me on before joining the workforce and I knew never to chase thieves and ESPECIALLY don't chase them out of the building. Which, at the speed the guy was going, I would've had to either physically block/grab/trip him and my ass would've been grass for going against company policy, injuring the guy, and whatever other bullshit they could've pinned on me.

So all I did was yell a half-hearted "hey stop" and let him run out the door when he obviously didn't stop.

Immediately afterwards, my managers tried to blame me for him running off and I graciously reminded them of the company policy and suddenly they lost interest in scolding me. Funny how that works.

Anyway. PSA for anyone who is new to the workforce or who maybe doesn't know about this sort of thing: most companies have similar policies and unless you are hired specifically as a security guard or some sort of security position and receive specific training, NEVER CHASE POTENTIAL THIEVES OUT OF THE STORE!

It's also generally not a good idea/against store policy to actually accuse someone of stealing, even if it is blatantly obvious. These corporations make millions/billions of dollars and they pay you .000000001% of that, so guess who can afford to take the loss? Not you.

Posted by admin Rodney

[riacte]

Space Opera AU dashboard simulator

🥧 syrupstars Follow

Anyone else think that Red King racer is a little... y'know... fruity?

👑 falsewellsupremacy Follow

He literally says "ladies, gentlemen, everyone in between, get in line" so I think that answers your question.

🥧 syrupstars Follow

What about the "#Ally4Life 🏳️‍🌈" on his Twilight handle?

👑 falsewellsupremacy Follow

I genuinely have no idea. Maybe he thinks it's about him being an ally to cishet people

#idk ren's just like that sometimes #void knows what he's doing #also prev tags you do not want to get into the black hole of who ren has dated #he has rumours with 3/4 of the grid #edit: WHO MENTIONED BAD BOY TEENAGE REN IN MY NOTES #the shippers are here... oh no #edit 2: not ren at the club.

74 notes

🛑 bluebatshater Follow

oh my voiddd ofc That Duo got p1 again... i need them to dnf in the race. i hope they crash and burn and die and i need crastle to get podium for ONCE. i am so mad. i am calling for the goddess tsuki to curse them. dnf dnf crash burn DIE

🌻 lesbianlumian Follow

the goddess tsuki LITERALLY protects racers and that's why they pray to her? you think the goddess tsuki, creator of lumians, will curse an actual lumian? be so fucking fr

🛑 bluebatshater Follow

if you dont have anything productive to say get off my post. freak

#those blue bats stannies are SO ANNOYING THEY ARE EVERYWHERE #they're overshadowing all the other teams #cant even be a bitchy hater in peace #salt #negativity #hateposting

12 notes

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

OMG FALSE IS SO PRETTY SHES MY QUEEN OF HEARTS OMG OMGOMGOGM 💖💖💖💖💖💖 i tihnk im gonna pass out. HER HAIR FLYING IN THE WIND AND HER RED FRECKLES AND HER SMILE WHY IS MY HEART BEATING SO FAST and Ren is hot I guess he's tall like a ferris wheel

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

Looking at posts from five years ago is funny like how did I ever believe I was straight

🍦 jelliepopsicle Follow

OP, I think I recognise your url... did you write that viral Bad Boy Ren x QoH fic on Launchpad?

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

💀 Shut the fuck up right NOWWW!!

#STOP MENTIONING THAT FIC I WFOTE WHEN I WAS THIRTEEEN!!! #everything before my gay awakening is not canon. sorry #tbh... as much as a nightmare it was i kinda miss that stupid fic #it was from a simpler time #now im in university trying to contact my groupmates and i think one of them got lost in a blackhole last tuesday (again) #sigh. this keeps on happening to me #my cousin worked on one of the moons last summer for two weeks and came back like he'd aged six months #my friend's ex got sucked into a black hole and was briefly spaghettified but they managed to revive her and she gloats that she's finally taller than my friend's ex #whoops sorry for dumping in the notes #anyways. bad boy rk x good girl queen of hearts. awful idea. even more awful fic. yet i wrote it #i regret everything and nothing

25 notes

🗣️ peace-and-planets-deactivated63891092

PSA: Sunblr user @/summerheavens writes RPF of the Exterra 1 racers. She is a big name fan in the Miraculous Laserbug fandom so I thought you all would like to know. This is gross and disgusting behaviour and I implore you to stop.

🍬 summerheavens Follow

umm @/peace-and-planets i literally saw your kudos on my fic. the evidence is out there. girl what are YOU doing at the devil's sacrament. what are you doing on my roseduo rpf titled "hang your head low in the glow of the vending machine (we're not trying)".

but i'm glad you liked it enough to give it a kudos ^_^ will certainly be putting more on the starchive!

❄️ justwingit Follow

LMFAOOOO OP DEACTIVATEDDDDD 😭😭😭 sunblr user got killed by a rpf author. if you're gonna secretly read rpf maybe not leave a kudos?????

🚀 exterrablrheritage

Exterra 1 Heritage Post

⚡ littlewoodbabygirl69

It's been ten years since this post... @/summerheavens are you okay after recent developments

🍬 summerheavens Follow

am i okay? is ANYONE okay??? in these trying times??????? with the most chaotic gp to ever exist?????? i am PULLING OUT WIPS i dropped out of respect ten years ago. i've got to send my kid to daycare but once i'm done you bet you're seeing me on the starchive. miss swift even dropped her 20th album just in time for me to use lyrics as titles. i am LIVING and i am THRIVING

#ohhhhhhhhhh #let's go #also can't believe taylor finally addressed the vehicle manslaughter rumours from like twenty years ago #how fitting #also littlewood needs to get his shit together #why does he look like he's the one who hasn't seen his man in 32738102371 years and got his soul shattered #he's weak and won't survive the winter

27,408 notes

🧈 butteredbread Follow

WHAT is wrong with that lykos. i desire him carnally

🌳 treebark

@/handoftheking

🪓 handoftheking

I mean... yeah. Let's face it, we're all like that 🤷

⭐ nonbinarystar Follow

MR LITTLEWOOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE

#WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM #I HATE HIM SO MUCH #PARASOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS CAN ALSO BE ABOUT HATE #THIS GLOWSTICK MF IS MY WORST ENEMY #he just canonised treebark for the sixth time #also prev tags so real #need to slingshot him into a faraway galaxy

34,091 notes

🫃 spaceshipmpreg Follow

Who put that Just a Dream FalseRen AMV on my dash again

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

Respect your roots!! That 125M views Just a Dream AMV raised a generation. Every kid in my school played it on loop on their ipods during recess

🔮 queenofstarz03 Follow

wait op can you explain your url

🫃 spaceshipmpreg Follow

No 👍

#i think we should get the dogwarts freighter pregnant

6 notes

[nnnyxie]

INSPIRATION STRUCK

Nurse!Izu x underground fighter!reader

Idk how I got this idea tbh but like imagine the reader being a really good fighter but usually getting underestimated because of their cute appearance 🤭 so they beat their opponents ass every time

But ofc their opponents get hits in too so they go to get patched up by their fave boy~ reader is maybe a little more bold or flirty and Izu is just super scared and worried for them always scolding them for getting hurt

Something like that :) yeah you get it!! #𖢥 izuku anon

the way i’m eating this up like it’s thanksgiving dinner!!!!

I LOVE THIS!!!

(also just a psa there is quite a bit swearing, idk if that should be a warning for my stuff atp though… also the reader is referred to as a ‘bitch’ in case that makes anyone uncomfy!! i, personally, get disgusted when woman are referred to as ‘bitches’ in a derogatory way. but, that’s my opinion.)

you’re a major ass kicker, first and foremost.

since it’s all ‘underground’ there’s no recording or pictures allowed (they turn in electronics at the front)

soooo when people talk about this cute fighter that kicks names and takes ass (/ref), they don’t believe it!!

people think it’s a ‘myth’ and when they see you, the sweet fighter with a shit ton of injuries, they’re like ‘no fuckin way’ and just like,,, underestimate you.

which ofc makes you pissed (i’d be mad honestly) so, you go ham on their bitch asses!!!

and that ultimately results in your knuckles getting split and bloody. as well as the other person but who cares about them!!!

but, it’s the perfect excuse to see your favorite nurse with pretty green eyes and freckles all over his face!!

and while he loves seeing you as well, he hates that the only time he does is when you’re all bloody and bruised. izu wants to see when you’re… not that…

you’re usually in his office 4 times a week— which is very impressive since it used to be every day.

“you need to properly clean your wounds! and i told you to take a week break from fighting so they’d heal back up!” izuku sighs in frustration and worry. he’s, once again, wrapping your knuckles.

“i know i should but, it’s nice being able to come in ‘nd see your cute face when you get frustrated.” you flirt— trying to both ease the tension and show interest. he didn’t find it too amusing. though, he was slightly flustered at the compliment.

you were bold and flirty, yes. but that didn’t mean you were any good!!!

“i don’t exactly know why you chose fighting or anything but— it’s frustrating to see you damaging yourself like this.” you shake this statement off. saying something along the lines of ‘i just like it’ ‘i don’t mind the damages’

he’s always fussing over you and it’s truly endearing. he’s never like that with his other patients, besides bakugo. except— with bakugo he’s more aggressive. though, it’s only cause they’re lifelong friends.

anyways.

there’s this one time where you came in really bruised and bloody.

see— the underground ring doesn’t separate by gender or weight.

and they have fighters compete to rise to the top.

during this fight.

you went against bakugo— it was a rough one. the both of you were covered in sweat, spit, and blood.

the two of you had bruises everywhere. your stomach mainly— he landed a lot of kicks there.

“what the hell happened!?” izuku basically screamed when you walked in. “oh you know… the usual…” you laughed awkwardly, trying to hold up your ‘i’m totally not in agonizing pain’ facade.

“you usually don’t come in like this— what happened?” he sat you on the nursing bed, trying not to be too rough. “uhh well, my fight was against a pretty strong opponent. would’ve kicked his ass if that bitch didn’t pull that dirty move.” he sighs and shakes his head. “who was it?” “i don’t remember his real name. goes by dynamight or something. he was super aggressive though. had spiky blond hair. kept saying ‘i’m gonna kick your ass’ and ‘die, bastard’. just shit like that.” izuku groans and whispers ‘oh my fucking god’— knowing exactly who you’re talking about.

“that was quite the reaction… you know the guy or somethin’?” you laugh a little. “uh yeah. he’s kind of my best friend.” your eyes nearly pop out of your skull— “how—? you’re like— total opposites! you’re so pretty and sweet!! and he’s… none of that.” your face twisted a bit, recalling how bakugo snarled like a feral animal and was basically foaming at the mouth. izuku’s face flushed at your comment—

did you really think that about him? you really think he’s,,, pretty??

“well uhm… we’ve been friends since we were kids so… it’s something i’m used to i guess.” izuku whispered, he looked at the ground so you wouldn’t see how red he was. “that’s unfortunate for you.” you let out a laugh, and tried taking a peak at his face. you thought it was cute when he got all flustered and shy.

before you could tease him, you heard your name being called for a rematch against bakugo since he pulled the dirty move. “ahh looks like i gotta go. i’ll see you afterwards! hopefully not too beat up this time!” you smiled and ran out the room before he could stop you.

another fight went on. this time the ref paid closer attention— making sure no dirty cards were played.

bakugo was brutal. he didn’t go easy on any opponents and you respected him for that— or, at least, you used to respect him. knowing that he fights dirty made you rage.

you gave cuteness aggression a whole new meaning as you pummeled his ass. the fight was very close. neither of you wanted to back down.

izuku watched through one of the entrances. he always watches your fights— bakugo’s as well. and in this fight, he was rooting for you.

you and bakugo were slumped over but still held a fighting stance. bakugo said something to you— something izuku couldn’t hear or lip read. and whatever he said had made you angry— angrier than before.

you launched yourself at him and went against your code of honor. you pulled nasty tricks and the ref was quick to stop the fight.

it was clear you’d lost.

rematches happen only once and you fucked it up all because bakugo pissed you off.

you walk back into izuku’s office— both angry and sad. honestly, you were embarrassed by your actions. you hated how you went against your morals.

“oh my god— are you okay!?” izuku, once again, pulled you to the nursing bed. “yeah. ‘m fine.” you mumbled, which wasn’t a ‘you’ thing to do.

“what did bakugo say?” he grabbed his essentials as you sat down. “aw izu, do you watch my matches?” you cooed and smiled. which kind of hurt because of your busted lip. “uhm… well uh… yeah… i try to watch as many of them as i can…” he whispered, walking over to you with his supplies in hand.

you honestly would’ve teased him about this more but, you remembered how embarrassing your fight was. and you wanted to crawl into a hole.

“…so what did he say?” izuku asked again. he was persistent. which you loved about him but, right now you sort of disliked. “it’s just… stupid.” he frowned and began wrapping your hand. “it’s not stupid if it made you that upset. you can tell me. just because he’s my friend, doesn’t mean i’ll defend his actions.” he assured you, running a thumb over your sore knuckles. “he…”

you sighed, “he said, ‘stop being a dumb bitch and take the loss already’.”

you hated being called a bitch. you hated being looked down upon. it angered you. it brought out a fire inside you that couldn’t be extinguished without a more than decent beating.

izuku’s face was one of disgust— he knew bakugo was brash but, he was disgusted that he’d ever call a woman that. “i know it’s dumb to get upset about but— he called me a bitch! how was i not supposed to get angry!? he called me a dumb bitch! he degraded me and made me look fucking stupid.” you grew angry again. the embarrassment shied away. “you have every right to be upset about that. it’s disgusting that he said what he did. i didn’t realize he could be like that. i’m sorry.” “don’t apologize for his shitty actions. you did nothing wrong, izu.”

you sighed and let out a quiet yelp.

your anger and embarrassment had clouded your pain entirely. “i think i’m in lots of pain.”

after a long clean and wrap up, you were okay to leave for home.

“you should actually take time to rest. your physical state isn’t fit for fighting. honestly you should actually be on bed rest.” izuku helped you off the nursing table, making sure you didn’t land on the ground too hard. “but that means i can’t see you,” you spoke in a genuine voice. you weren’t teasing or flirting.

you were being dead serious. it was something izuku wasn’t used to. there were times where you had been serious, of course. but, it was never over something like this. it’d usually be directed towards matches and opponents. but, this time it was different.

“i— well… i mean, you can! uhm— hold on!” he rushed to rip a corner of paper off from a document and to grab a pen. he scribbled down his number messily. it was hardly legible. luckily, over the past two years of him helping you, you were able to decipher his writing.

he handed it to you, his face was red. not like the cutesy pinkish-red but, full on sweat-red.

“wow izu… when did you get so bold? i like it.”

i hope this is what you were looking forrrr

i had fun w/ this !!

[vaggietheangel]

Randome headcannons that have nothing to do with each other

Vaggie punches inanimate objects when she bumps I to them. She got hit by the door of the closet once, so she ripped it off the hinges.

Angel is a TERRIBLE driver. He would laugh if he flipped the car over into the ditch and says he's so silly. He smokes, does his nails, makeup, and calls Cherri when driving on a highway.

Niffty is a mean drunk. She will make fun of you but in an accurate way. She will get to the thing that you don't like about you and laugh at you for it. She made Alastor well up.

Charlie eats flinestone vitamin gummies. But she eats two at once, so they "don't die alone." She also eats gingerbread men head first to "end thier suffering".

Alastor only watches one modern movie and chooses it every time Charlie says it's his turn for movie night. It's human centipede.

Sir pentious snitches om Angel for breaking rules. He refers to it as "tomfoolery".

Charlie will raise her hand in the air and say "I've had it up to here with you!" When she's angry.

Mimzy mistook Niffty for a child when they first met and gave her money for ice cream. She used it to buy a can of deodorant and a lighter. Then set a cockroach on fire with it.

Vaggie uses rosemary oil to make her hair grow faster.

Husk punched a mirror when he was drunk because "some stupid bastard was staring at me."

Angel teaches Sir pentious to use slang incorrectly bc he thinks its funny. Sir pentious says "this was a millon dollar pussy my good Sir. :)" when leaving a tip at a restaurant.

Cherri has a cookie monster tattoo on her ass.

Husk puts his phone in the fridge when it overheats.

Vaggie sticks her leg out to trip people over when they make her mad.

Charlie buys the bruised fruit because she feels bad for it. "If I don't buy it no one else will! 🥺" She also feels bad for the sweets that are left at the bottom of the box.

Angel Dust:Ah, its only the shit ones left.

Charlie:Angel, that's so mean!

Angel:???

Niffty slaps Alastor upside his fuck ass Bob and says "I like your cut g."

Angel skitters like a spider when he's frightened.

Vaggie gets embarrassed when she cries in front of people. So she gives them a warning to not tell anyone or she will stab them.

Husk is easily fooled by ai images. Niffty showed him an ai picture of a baby skydiving. He put on his old man glasses and grumbled about how parents are so irresponsible these days.

Niffty kept putting roaches in Vaggie’s victrion dollhouse. So Vaggie threw her out the window.

Charlie acts out safety psa's for her redemption workshops. She explains how to defuse a violent situation in the form of a "sailor moon" says" short."

Angel Dust is embarrassed of his older porn. He thinks the acting is cringe. So when he tries to show one of his newer movies to the staff Vaggie air drops one of his old porns to the TV.

Niffty likes to stick her finger into plug sockets. She likes "the tinges." Charlie had to pry her away from it several times.

[ohmyeyesmyeyes]

fix of you

jack hughes x f!reader

warnings: swearing (c-word), mentions and descriptions of drugs and alcohol usage (class b), effects of weed, reader is kind of a relatable asshole at moments? (you can make your own conclusions), brief joke of alcoholism as an attempt at easing tension, mentions of cheating and subsequent emotional damage, mentions of casual relationships, toxic relationships/exes, internal dialogue, fluff and reassurance

psa: i'm gonna be honest, i don't remember writing most of this

word count: like 8.4k??

Rudy was so far gone – so pissed up his own arse – that he misjudged your horror for excitement. How he’d managed to do that was completely beyond you, because immediately after clamping your eyes on him, you’d frozen entirely, before ducking out of potential eyeline before he could see you.

He being…someone complicated – Lewis. Even the  mere sight of him left a sour taste in your mouth. 

Rudy, bless his pure soul, had turned to you, an eyebrow somehow raised despite his deeply intoxicated state of mind, and pouted.

“What?” You asked, awkwardly looking towards the bar to avoid being under his scrutiny.

“What was that? You looked at Lewis and just fuckin’, I don’t know, dipped.” Rudy slurred, spinning in his chair clumsily and looking straight at Lewis, who – thank fuck – was talking to the person next to him and seemingly oblivious to Rudy’s obviousness. 

You knew the two of them were friends, and somehow through the madness and spontaneity of the text Rudy had sent out to everyone in his contacts, that fact had escaped your mind entirely, and that only seemed to increase your drive for another drink and the need to get yourself the hell out of there. You’d been contemplating ditching for a while anyway – the ‘party’ was beginning to die a little, but the only reason you’d stayed was because Rudy was way too high to even be trusted to get home safely. Naturally, that responsibility had fallen onto your shoulders. 

You shrugged, “Nothing. I just don’t like the guy.”

He spun back around, patting the bar, and only seconds later – seemingly pulled out of thin air – a shot glass with amber sloshing liquid slid across the surface. You didn’t bother attempting to snatch it out of his hand, knowing it’d only irritate him. 

“How come?”

You swung your head towards him, incredulous. He knew perfectly well why. He was the only one who did.

“Because the two months we were in an established, exclusive relationship he was sleeping with someone else when he was ‘working’.” You snatched the next shot that slid down the bar and nabbed it for yourself, barely flinching when the burn soothed your throat, “Is this tequila?” You asked, eyes wide.

“Yes, it’s tequila. And I remember now, he was kind of a dick to you.” Rudy shrugged, wobbling on the stool.

You felt your irritation flare for a second, watching him laugh and smile to himself and play off how absolutely awfully Lewis had treated you, like it was nothing. You gave him the benefit of the doubt considering he was all kinds of pissed, but you couldn’t help the defence mechanisms kicking in as you picked apart what he’d just casually said.

“Kind of? Kind of a dick?” You echoed, rolling your eyes as Rudy froze, recognising the poorly hidden frustration in your voice. You’d also had a lot to drink, but it clearly wasn’t enough considering you seemed to latch on to the smallest details. 

To save your own sanity, you put up your hands in surrender, and Rudy watched, mildly impressed at your restraint, as you left the bar entirely and made your way outside.

You were done with pretty much everything inside that building; Rudy, and most of all, Lewis. The guy got your blood boiling unlike you’d ever felt, and the more you thought about it, the more you wanted to yell and scream until your throat was raw and bleeding and your voice was hoarse because you had to let all this unsanctioned anger out somehow. It was crushing you inside and out, and it was weird – you were confused by it. You and Lewis had only dated for two months, and it wasn’t even that serious. 

You figured if you’d paid a little more attention to him during your relationship, you’d have been able to put the pieces together a little quicker, but the guy was intelligent. Cunning, sly, slimy. There weren’t enough insulting adjectives to describe the chilling way he managed to get under your skin. 

It made you want to get into a shower and scrub your skin – knowing you’d willingly let him touch you.

It had ended four months ago, but the lasting impact he’d had on you was somewhat unexpected—

“Oh, hey.” A voice shook you out from inside your own head, and you looked up, moving out of the way from the door. 

There were two of them, crowded around a cigarette, and they had an element of vague familiarity about them. The girl was the one who’d spoken, and when you turned to look at her, feeling a little caught under her gaze, she smiled.

“Hey.” You replied, slowly stepping towards them.

She picked a tin from her pocket and flicked the lid open.

Oh, now you know where you recognised her from. She supplies Rudy, and you were pretty sure you’d bought from her before; nothing serious, never anything serious – which was probably why she was only offering you a blunt.

You hesitated, stuffing your hands in your pockets. Realistically, if you smoked one right now, you knew the chances of Rudy getting home safely would be significantly lower, but that jumpy, itchy feeling nestling its way under your skin was almost overwhelming. It felt like being in a supermarket, faced with a wall of the same bag of crisps, and you could hear people talking and walking, the label on your jumper was scratching the back of your neck, your head felt funny and your shoes were too tight.

Yeah, it kind of felt like a sensory overload. 

And you also knew – without a fucking doubt – that a joint would take all of that away. The sound of the music filtering through the front door would melt to a soft tune in the back of your mind, the tightness in your chest would ease up, and you sure as hell wouldn’t give a shit about Lewis.

The woman seemed to sense your internal dilemma, and before you could answer, the tin lid snapped shut.

You smiled apologetically, “Yeah, I probably shouldn’t.”

She shrugged, still smiling politely as she tucked it back into her jacket pocket, accepting her own blunt from her company, “Hey, it’s no problem, you just looked like you could use one.”

“Honestly, I did, but…not tonight.”

And before you could even so much as breathe, the door to The Championship was slamming open and out walks…a girl? Making a direct beeline for you, it would seem.

She was wearing faded jeans with a simple green crewneck, as though she hadn’t expected to make an appearance tonight, and her flaming red hair was resting against her collarbones – cut in sharp layers. She looked elegant, and a little classy, and undoubtedly pretty, but for the life of you, you could not place her.

But the way she was smiling at you – controlled and easy (not drunk?) – you’d have thought you’d known each other for years.

“Hey, you must be Y/N.” She started, stopping in front of you and crossing her arms.

You nodded, a little confused, “I’m sorry, do I know you?” You asked, curious. She’d come from inside the bar, so she’d obviously been invited to tag along to Rudy’s party, but even then you were sure you’d not seen her inside. You’d remember hair as red as that anywhere – it was breathtaking.

She laughed a little awkwardly, her eyes flicking back to the window momentarily “Not yet–”

Shit, did that sound menacing.

“My name’s Marnie,” you felt the penny drop, and the smile on your face melted a little, “I’m Lewis’s girlfriend.”

The silence was unbearable, but the one thing you could think of at that moment was holy fuck you should have accepted that joint. You wanted to laugh, you felt the bubbles of amusement begin to rise, but they popped before they could escape, dissipating somewhere along the lines of–

Marnie, what a fucking bitch.

So this was the girl Lewis had been sleeping with all throughout your relationship?

Now, you were a feminist, you really were. But you kind of drew the line about here. You were well aware that she knew you were in a relationship with Lewis, and she was well aware you knew that, if the cautious smile on her face was anything to go by – and something about her having the audacity to approach you and introduce herself even despite that knowledge deeply unsettled you.

Deeply.

It looked like she was expecting some kind of blown up reaction on your end, because her eye was twitching fractionally – she’d put herself that close you could see it – and the smile on her face was clearly slipping with every second you refused to give her the satisfaction of reacting to that little piece of information.

So you smiled, heart hammering with something. Adrenaline? Dread? At this point the lines had blurred to the point of disfiguration.

“Well, it’s always nice putting a face to the name.” You said stiffly, sarcastically.

You weren’t doing much to hide your distaste for the entire situation. Why bother? They’d already done the damage, what was the worst you could do?

She ignored it, though, and the smile on her face grew – as though she genuinely thought you were cooperating with her, “I was thinking–”

Dear God, please don’t let this be–

“That because your friends with Rudy and Rudy’s friends with Lewis, that we’re probably going to be spending some time around each other, right?”

Fuck.

You nodded reluctantly, already sensing where this car crash of a night was going to head.

“Would you want to have a few drinks…you know, until this awkwardness is resolved?” She asked.

Why, why, why, why? Why would she even think that was a good idea? 

“I’ll pay.” She added, clearly as an afterthought to try to convince you.

For emotional damage? You laughed internally.

“Because I’m an alcoholic?” You joked lamely, resisting the urge to roll your eyes and wince at your own devastating sense of humour at wildly inappropriate times. It was dark and not actually true, but you knew what Lewis had thought of you when you were together. He was always muttering something about your bad habits – and so what if you enjoyed a singular glass of red wine in the bath every now and then? – and you could tell from the taken aback and slightly flushed look that Marnie had suddenly sported, that he’d influenced some of his own opinions onto her.

“No, no.” She stuttered, shaking her head, “I just want to do this…for Rudy.”

Godfuckingdammit.

Either she was a good reader of people, or she was just lucky, because there was no one in the entire world who could possibly persuade you to do this, apart from maybe Rudy. He was your soft spot, and right now, you hated that soft spot possibly more than Lewis and his stupid face. 

You shut your eyes, hands waving with a mind of their own, “Sure.”

You regretted it instantly, even more so when Marnie grinned. 

“That’s great—”

“I just need to make a phone call, and I’ll be right there.” You interrupted, automatically sliding your phone out of your pocket, not waiting for her to answer before you stepped away, taking a seat on the edge of the pavement. It was a quiet night, barely any cars on the road, and if someone saw you talking on the phone, you knew the likelihood of being approached would be slim to none.

Besides, if someone happened to come up behind you, you had—

Oh. They’d gone.

You sighed, noticing you were now alone, and stood up. There was no way you would willingly sit with your back facing the sidewalk in the dark without someone watching you. So you leant against the window of the bar, thumb hovering over a contact, that, even at reading, made something flutter in your chest.

Nerves, anticipation, the whole lot. You were smiling before you’d even clicked the call button.

He picked up on the fourth ring, and you found yourself smiling bashfully at the floor even before you heard his voice.

If three-month-ago-you saw yourself now, she’d be mortified.

“Hey.” You started, foot kicking at a broken piece of glass.

“Hey.” You could tell he was smiling just from the tone of his voice – it was painfully distinguishable.

“What are you doing right now?” You asked, praying with everything in you that he’d be free. You knew he had training today – it had finished at around four, so technically he’d had time to sleep off the exhaustion, and he had tomorrow off…so, in theory, he should be free.

But given the hectic schedule he seemed to live by, you would be in no way offended if he decided to turn you down right now. You’d turn you down if you were being honest.

There was some rustling, and you deduced he must have pushed himself from a sofa or bed, “Absolutely fucking nothing. Please take me out of my misery.” He breathed a laugh to disguise his plea, and the sound of it sent chills through your body, a certain giddiness igniting in you knowing he’d pretty much show up for you right now, even if it was to watch some crappy movie in your apartment. Unfortunately for him, the reality was a lot less exciting.

Before you could interject and ask him, however, he was talking again, “Is that music?”

You turned your head, looking straight into the bar. You hadn’t exactly realised how loud the music was, but when you spotted Rudy messing around near the jukebox and speakers, that issue kind of answered itself, “Yeah, I’m at The Championship bar, you know the one that’s like a five minute walk from yours?”

There was a beat of silence, “Oh, the one on the corner by the deli? Yeah, I know that one.”

It only occurred to you then, due to Jack’s awkward answer – an open statement left half-hanging, that you hadn’t actually asked him to meet you there, or even given any indication you wanted to see him. 

You barely wasted a second before the invitation had toppled from your lips, “I was wondering if you wanted to come by? Rudy’s decided to throw a party and it’s honestly torture.” You hesitated, expecting him to fill the silence, but when he didn’t interject with anything, you continued, heart pounding with the anticipation of what you were about to admit, “And we haven't seen each other in a while so I’m kind of missing my fix of you lately.” You completed it with an awkward laugh, hoping the statement sounded less casual than what you truly meant.

That was what you and Jack were, amongst other things: casual. Or, you thought you were. It had started as an awkward blind date but he ended up staying the night and after a minor misjudgement on your behalf, he’d ended up at the door of your apartment building, a bag of Indian food in hand and an apology because he’d ditched you in the morning even after the promise of breakfast. And against your better judgement, you guys had been…friends (with a question mark) since then. 

Nothing else had happened, but you seemed to have a sort of unspoken relationship. One that meant you’d be smiling at your phone at inappropriate times.

So, naturally, you were kind of curious as to what his reaction would be.

“I’m missing you, too.” He paused, and you felt a twinge of relief flood your system, almost overriding the buzz of alcohol you’d consumed earlier. Jack tended to have that effect, whether you liked it or not. “I’ll be there in two minutes.”

“But it takes five at a minimum?” You smiled again, eyes glancing to the direction you knew he’d be coming from, even though darkness shrouded the path and realistically he wouldn’t appear in that moment.

“Then I’ll run. You sound like you need saving.” He laughed, and you could distantly hear the slam of his door shut over the phone, his keys in the lock.

You rolled your eyes, “Don’t wear yourself out.”

“Not possible. I have incredible stamina.”

The insinuation was bold, but it dissipated some of the tension in your shoulders. The relief you felt purely based on the reassurance that it wouldn’t take him long to reach you felt wrong in a sense; that you relied on his presence to alleviate some of the stress from the awkward situation both yourself and Rudy had placed you in. 

It felt careless.

“Yeah, your hockey skills really prove that. I’ll be waiting inside…trying to have fun until you get here.”

“Only as long as you pretend to have fun when I actually get there.”

“No need to pretend.”

You heard him breathe a laugh, “I’ll see you soon.”

“Bye.”

You hung up, steeling yourself as you walked back through the door, feigning a smile when Lewis lifted a hand up from where he and Marnie had claimed a booth. You went straight to the bar, knocking into Rudy from where he was sitting back on a stool.

“Where the hell did you go?” He asked, dramatically looking at your shoes and then moving back up to your face, eyes wobbling and cheeks flushed.

“Outside.” You answered, grabbing two bottles of beer from the ice bucket. You weren’t entirely sure if Jack would want a drink when he got here, but seeing as Rudy had somehow booked an ‘all expenses paid for’ event, you figured there was no harm done.

“Why–” Rudy stopped talking, blinking dumbly as it clicked that you’d taken two bottles, “Why two?” He pointed lazily, before collapsing on top of his hands against the counter surface.

“Because Jack’s coming.” You stated simply.

“As in the Jack who I haven’t met yet?”

“The very one.”

“Ooh.” He let out a slack giggle, and you shook your head, smiling a little at his antics. You felt yourself colour at his eyebrow wiggle, a flicker of pride touching your heart at the mere notion of finally sharing the brilliance of Jack with your friend – singular because Rudy was a part of a different sphere to who you usually spend your time with.

Rudy probably wouldn’t even remember meeting him this time around anyway.

So you patted him on the back and slid across the booth so you were sitting directly across from Lewis.

He’d had a haircut since the last time you’d seen him, and there were wisps of facial hair tickling his cheeks. He looked weird, worn and a little on edge. And the sight of him sent an alarm blaring through your mind, red flags metaphorically swimming in your line of vision.

A well of words flew through your mind: disgusting, cheater, dick, bastard, liar, sociopath, fucking bitch.

He didn’t inspire much positivity. At all. It had you questioning why the fuck you even agreed to Marnie’s request in the first place, because you didn’t even have to be here. You didn’t have to put yourself through this undoubtedly horrific conversation for the sake of fucking Rudy – who was practically passed out and unaware to everything that was currently going on around him.

No one said anything until the tension was seemingly too much for Lewis to take, because he nodded to the second bottle of beer you’d placed on the table next to your spot, “Are you waiting for someo–”

You vaguely heard the door shut, and in another world – if Marnie hadn't frozen in her place with her own drink midway to her mouth, jaw falling slack as her eyes followed something across the room – you wouldn’t have thought anything of it.

“That’s Jack Hughes.” She gaped, and your heart stuttered in your chest.

Lewis’s words were lost on everyone, and all three of your heads turned around just in time to see Jack pause by the door, seemingly taken aback by the small crowd of people blocking his view from everyone seated in booths. Because your back was to him, you spun around in the booth, pulling yourself up onto your knees so you could peer over the top of the wooden brackets, waving a hand to catch his attention.

There were a few brief seconds where his eyes were stuck on Rudy, and without even realising it, you caught yourself checking him out, assessing him from head to toe, right from his trainers to the Yankees cap pulled over his eyes. You were pretty impressed Marnie had recognised him so instantly, especially considering Jack had clearly dressed for subtlety.

He’d gone for a pair of jeans, the legs baggy, and a navy V-neck jumper, a white shirt peeking out from underneath. You weren’t a fashion expert by any means, but somehow that washed out denim Yankees hat topped it all off, and he looked good. His hair was a little shorter than the last time you’d seen him, but it still poked out from underneath his hat in waves. Even from where you were admiring him, you could tell he’d shaved recently.

Shit, he looked insanely good. To the point where you didn’t know if you’d be able to stand not touching him tonight. 

Your hand had frozen in place, elbow resting against the wooden platform, and it was only when he’d caught you over the crowd of heads that you realised exactly how you’d reacted to him. He smiled, wasting no time in dodging past several people as he made his way over to your booth.

You slid down, waiting for him to join you, cheeks burning and fighting the intensely strong urge to grin as you took a sip of beer to avoid the questioning gaze from Lewis. You figured he was confused; ice hockey had never really been his thing.

Honestly, it hadn’t been your thing until you met Jack, but…here you were.

You found yourself running a hand through your hair, suddenly aware you hadn’t looked in a mirror in the last few hours, and before he’d even sat down and before he was even within a four foot radius, you already knew you were going to have way more fun with Jack in the same room.

By the time he’d appeared at the end of the booth, that gorgeous smile on his face – cheeks a little red (you assumed he kept his promise and ran over, considering it had barely been five minutes, and his cheeks were tinged from exhaustion) – your eyes were shining with excitement. You felt like a little kid – you guys hadn’t seen each other in a couple of weeks because he’d been on a roadie, but you never would have guessed you’d be so giddy to see him again.

“Hey.” He greeted, and it was as though you’d been overtaken by some sort of tunnel vision, because you missed the look shared between Lewis and Marnie – all because Jack wasn’t paying them a single shred of attention. His eyes were boring into yours, and that smile you’d been hiding broke free as you reached for him, pulling him into the booth next to you.

“Hey,” you replied, before suddenly remembering the pair sitting opposite, and you turned back to them, unable to help yourself from looking back at Jack, as though you couldn't quite get enough of him. You caught a waft of his aftershave when he sat down…as if he couldn’t get any more irresistible, “Jack, this is Marnie and Lewis; Marnie, Lewis,” you gestured lazily to the man next to you, “Jack.”

You felt Jack pull his attention away from you to politely greet the couple sitting next to each other; Marnie was the picture of awe, her eyes were wide and she was drinking Jack up, not quite able to believe he was sitting across from her. You didn’t have her down for being an ice hockey fan, but you kind of loved how uncomfortable Lewis was at the attention she was paying Jack and not him. 

He was jealous, for sure. His jaw was ticking and you could vaguely see him sizing Jack up across the table, a misty curiosity lingering in the depths of his eyes as to just why his girlfriend knew who this guy was when he clearly had no fucking clue.

“Nice to meet you guys.” Jack smiled, casually draping an arm over the back of your bench, his hand gently touching your far shoulder.

In return, you discreetly shuffled a little closer on the bench – though the task in itself seemed almost nearly impossible considering how easily he’d slotted himself in next to you, his hip pressed to yours and the lengths of your things touching – and crossed one leg, resting your knee on his thigh. 

It was casual, not altogether touchy, but you could sense the scrutiny from across the table.

“How did you two meet?” It was Marnie that jumped in first, eyes completely fixed on Jack and not paying any other soul a single shred of attention. It was a little amusing, but at the same time – you were kind of…off?

You couldn’t place the sudden ugly, bitter taste in your mouth, but it made you want to grab Jack’s hand and leave immediately. But you guys weren’t anything established or exclusive, so that kind of felt misplaced.

Then you immediately felt guilty because you’d dragged Jack out of his house only to place him into the questioning hands of a woman you barely trusted, let alone knew. The last thing you wanted was for him to feel like he was cornered.

“Through a mutual friend.” You answered, shrinking in on yourself.

You felt Jack pass an inquisitive glance over you, but you refused to look at him.

“Oh.” Marnie was disappointed with the lack of detail, you could tell.

Lewis cleared his throat, sitting a little straighter as everyone's attention returned to him, “What do you do, Jack?”

It felt an awful lot like an interrogation. 

It was clearly the wrong thing to say in front of Marnie, because her eyes narrowed and her cheeks flared a little in embarrassment. She must have clipped Lewis under the table, because you saw him flinch as though he’d been poked.

“I play hockey.” He answered, a little awkwardly. You could tell he was trying to hold back, maintain his modesty for the sake of not making Lewis feel a little silly; you guessed he was also holding back because he knew Marnie had recognised him.

“Oh,” Lewis began, furrowing his brows, “So that’s a full time thing? Like in the big leagues?”

Marnie paled, her eyes slipping towards the ceiling. You half expected her to facepalm at the comedic faces she was making, but she bit her lip, taking a drink.

You felt Jack’s ribs squeeze at your side. He was trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, I play in the NHL.”

Lewis swallowed, realisation settling in as he nodded, “Shit, so you’re good, then?”

Jack shrugged, ever humble, “I’m alright.”

For some reason, through a short burst of enthusiasm, you felt compelled to contribute, “He’s amazing,” you told Lewis, nodding and fighting a proud smile. Even saying Jack was amazing still felt like an under-exaggeration. You turned to look at him, allowing the smile to take over a little, “You’re amazing.”

His cheeks flushed and he suppressed a smile, twisting his hat around so it faced backwards on his head. You found yourself preferring it that way; you could see more of his face. The tired shadows under his eyes and the smile lines creased into his skin like a tattoo.

“Thanks.”

You took a deep breath, pulling yourself away from his magnetic composure, “So, how have you guys been?”

Lewis let out a breath, looking to Marnie for assurance. She, on the other hand, sat up straighter, determined to take some control over the slipping situation. It was painfully clear to her that neither you or Jack were particularly interested in maintaining a real conversation with either her or Lewis – you were much too taken with each other – and neither of you were exactly trying to hide that fact.

In fact, to Marnie, she felt as though she was intruding in on something private.

“We’ve been good, I just got promoted.” She said awkwardly, met with silence and mildly impressed looks – not really caring.

She briefly wondered if Jack knew what had gone down between the three people he was sharing a table with.

He didn’t.

He was just too enamoured with you.

“What exactly is it you do?” You asked, now finding the humour in asking questions. It might have appeared mean, but it was the only way you could actually cope talking to them. Answering questions and so obviously pretending you were interested was entertaining.

Passive-aggressive and petty, sure, but this was what Marnie had asked for.

She swallowed a mouthful of her drink, vaguely surprised at being questioned, “I work in a school – I just got promoted to head of department.” She noticed your confused expression, her eyes flickering to where Jack had replaced his arm along the back of the booth, this time twirling your hair in his hand absentmindedly. He was looking at her, at least acknowledging the conversation – much unlike Lewis, who’d turned on his phone and was scrolling through Twitter. “History. Head of the History Department in a High School.” She elaborated.

“Well done.” You cringed inwardly, knowing your effort of a congratulations was hilariously lacking in authenticity.

It seemed the awkward and noticeable tension had finally gotten to Jack – who’d never really been able to sit still and comfortably in such situations – who straightened, eyes zipping between everyone as if only just realising the unfortunate dynamic between everyone but him. He looked to Lewis, who – the coward – was purposefully avoiding eye contact with everyone; to Marnie, who’s hand was rubbing against her thigh, her eyes wide with traces of panic but managing it with a tight smile that was too wide to possibly be natural.

Then he looked at you. You were drawing shapes on the leg of your pants, the knee not resting on him diddling up and down under the table. You only did that when you were nervous or caught off guard by something.

Your eyes kept worriedly darting between Marnie and the back door exit – looking rather like you wanted to be anywhere else but here.

He hoped you still wanted to be with him wherever your desired place was, but he recognised that internal need to just get the fuck out.

If he was being honest, he’d never seen anyone look so damn uncomfortable by the people they’d chosen to spend time with, and he doubted you’d spend time with people that inspired that level of unease willingly.

Or maybe you would? He didn’t know you that well to know it for certain, but he knew you well enough to say with some certainty that there was something he was missing.

If anything, it seemed like the odd couple seated opposite him were a little sheepish or guilty about something, and the only way he knew he could get an answer immediately was if he just…went for it.

Asked.

“So how exactly do you guys know each other?” He asked, gently and cautiously probing at the silence.

In his defence, he wouldn’t have had to ask if he’d have been briefed prior to arriving and clearly disrupting the middle of something. There was history there, definitely.

What he wasn’t expecting was a dark laugh to escape you and for Lewis and Marnie to look like a pair of deer caught in the headlights. You leant forwards and rested your elbows on the table, twisting your body to face him, looking almost pleased with yourself.

“Yeah, how do we know each other?” You directed the question to the others, your levels of amusement boosted incredibly.

Marnie looked almost ashamed, and Lewis…Lewis looked like a pickled dick with sunburn.

Neither one of them said anything and you practically felt Jack’s confusion triple in the silence. Honestly, you were kind of hoping they’d answer for you.

It’d save you some embarrassment – misplaced embarrassment, of course – but ultimately your frustration won you over.

They had a right to look so ashamed of themselves.

“Lewis and I dated for a couple of months.” You admitted, watching Jack’s reaction carefully.

His eyes seemed to narrow – incredibly fractionally, and you knew that slight change would have been lost on Marnie and Lewis – and his gaze flicked from you to Lewis, almost assessing him. He kept his gaze on him for a while, before a low, almost disbelieving, “Really?” Was heard.

Lewis blushed, clearing his throat, “Yeah.”

Jack slid his eyes back over to you, arching an eyebrow. You couldn’t quite grasp what he was thinking, and it sent your heart into a frenzy even thinking about what else you were going to tell him – you couldn’t not. Not if you wanted him like you did.

“And you…” Jack was talking to Marnie, you realised.

The woman in question stuttered at the attention, “I’m his girlfriend.”

Jack could tell something wasn’t being said – the tension and the scraping of the surface of the story didn’t quite add up. Too much tension for a simple ‘we used to date’ admission.

There was an awful silence. It truly was awful. You’d rather have listened to nails being dragged down a chalkboard than listen to that heavy silence of unsaid things.

You felt Jack’s hand flop on top of your leg that was resting across his, and you looked at him. His brows were furrowed and he subtly gestured between Marnie and Lewis, a question written clearly in his face. 

At this, you bit your lip momentarily, stealing yourself for what you were about to do. You took a swig of your drink, moving to face the couple. 

“Look, I don’t think this is a good idea. I shouldn’t have agreed to sit here and have drinks with you because it’s not healthy. So I’m gonna head out.” You shrugged your coat on your shoulders, accepting nods of agreement, and Jack slid out of the booth, hands in his pockets as he awkwardly waited for you. “But you both deserve each other, really.”

It was a clear jab, but considering all the things you really wanted to say, it was incredibly tame. But you couldn’t help the not-so-subtle whisper of ‘cunts’ escape you as you dragged a rather shocked Jack out of the bar behind you. You walked straight past Rudy; someone must have called his partner because they were attempting to help him get back to his feet, but you weren’t about to stop until you were at least three blocks from The Championship.

Jack didn’t let go of your hand, nor did he say anything as he let you take him on a short trip. He could tell there was something bothering you, that much was evidenced by the rather strong insult you’d chucked at that couple right before you dipped, and he didn’t know whether to laugh or be concerned.

Sure, the insult was kind of funny and Lewis and Marnie’s reactions were priceless – picturesque almost, but he was definitely concerned. Mainly because you hadn’t even acknowledged what had happened, and also because you hadn’t stopped power walking or unlocked your jaw.

He took the initiative, walking a few steps in front of you so you got the idea to follow him instead, and rather than lead you indoors somewhere, he took you down some steps – you almost didn’t recognise it in the dark, but the graffiti pattern against the metal shutters was an instant giveaway.

He’d brought you to your shop. Your closed shop, nonetheless, but it was familiar.

He dropped your hand, not saying a word as he took a seat, his back against the shutters. You didn’t say anything – even despite knowing his back and jeans would undoubtedly be dirty when he stood back up – and took a seat next to him.

“What–” He started, hesitating slightly, “What happened with Lewis and Marnie?”

You swallowed, picking at a loose thread on your jeans, trying to bide time to structure what you wanted to say. In the end, however, you just ripped off the bandaid.

What’s the worst that could happen?

“He cheated on me with Marnie, for pretty much our entire relationship – even though he was the one to ask me if I wanted to be his girlfriend in the first place.” You looked down, huffing a petulant, self-deprecating laugh, “He told me he met her three nights after I agreed to be exclusive, and that they’d been sleeping with each other for the two whole months we were dating.”

Jack’s silence was unnerving, and it stretched a good fifteen seconds. You didn’t regret telling him by any means, but any silence after that kind of confession was enough to send your mind reeling. You wondered what he was thinking, but refused to look at his face for fear of rejection, or an expression you didn’t want to associate with your situation  - mostly pity. You didn’t know how you’d take it if Jack was looking at you pityingly.

“Did Marnie know you and Lewis were together?” His voice sounded a little strained, as if he was holding himself back from reacting too much.

“Apparently she knew from the get-go.”

You heard him sigh, a hint of frustration thrown in there.

“Fucking hell.” He muttered, and you felt an arm brush yours.

When you looked at him, his head was resting against the shutters, eyes closed as he folded his arms on top of his knees. He must have sensed you looking towards him, a hint of confusion at his odd reaction, because his eyes suddenly opened and he tilted his head in your direction, a blankness in his face.

It frustrated you, that you couldn’t get a read on him immediately.

“What are you thinking?” You whispered.

Jack cast his eyes beyond you for a minute, “I’m thinking that he was an absolute fucking idiot for treating you that way; that you could do way better – find someone that would treat you like you deserve because…you’re honestly mesmerising, and I can’t comprehend why he’d pull that shit when you were already in his corner.” 

Your chest clenched and you held your breath, hoping and anticipating his next words, “You really believe that?”

Jack looked back at you this time, his eyes shimmering in the dark as the light from the streetlamp flashed, “Course I do.”

You felt your brows narrow against your will – not entirely in an accusing manner, but one of complete and utter disbelief. You were completely stuck on how in the world someone could possibly view you in such a positive way – if you’d heard someone talk about their partner in that way, you wouldn’t really be surprised – then again, you hadn’t actually seen any realistic human relationships that procured that level of devotion – and the fact that it was Jack telling you that was how he saw you; Jack who, as far as you were aware, only saw you as a bit of fun? 

You were speechless.

“Why?” You managed, your heart pounding so hard against your sternum the action was almost painful. 

You’d never been so nervous in your entire life.

He shrugged, as though his thoughts were simply an everyday thing – nothing new that hadn’t occurred or something he hadn’t thought about before, “Honestly?”

You nodded numbly, your entire body tingling.

“You’re kind of everything I want in a partner. I mean,” he took a deep breath, preparing himself, “it’s not necessarily what you stand for, but more just…you that I want.”

Your chest was tight, and your eyes were stinging suddenly – an unexpected wave of emotion crashing over you. You didn’t let it show – that vulnerable feeling, shining from your eyes – though you could tell purely by the way Jack seemed to soften, his face relaxing like he’d realised the weight of the words he’d just placed on you.

Honestly, you were still partially in shock. 

Sure, you’d hoped he felt a little more than just teasing friendship, and the only thing that had held you back from mentioning anything to him was the frailty of the friendship you both shared. It was a delicate ecosystem of sorts, that you hadn’t wanted to trespass out of fear of losing him entirely. That was the seeming issue – to you at least – because Jack even showing a shred of feeling towards you was a fantasy you could only imagine.

It felt too good to be true.

And before you could question it or add something to at least give him a hint that he wasn’t alone, he was talking again.

“Can I ask you something?” This time it was his turn to pull his eyes away, only for a brief moment. He looked more scared now than he did when he’d admitted you were - in some sense – the woman of his dreams. It said a lot about Jack as a person; that he wasn’t afraid of revealing how he truly felt, but the notion of you rejecting him was the one thing that had him stalling, “When you invited me, did you want to make Lewis jealous?”

It was clear what he was asking, and your lack of hesitation in answering seemed to ease him up a bit; he took a silent breath – you could see his chest rise in relief.

“No. I invited you because you make me feel like everything is gonna be okay, and I needed that. I didn't invite you to make Lewis jealous because I don’t want him. I just want to see you, like, all the time, every day, for as long as possible.” You gave a delicate laugh, reminding yourself that he’d already made it clear that it was you he’d already chosen, “I’ve really missed you.”

He nudged his elbow into yours, and before you knew it, a smile had broken out on your face – completely against your will.

You were okay with it, because the grin on Jack’s face rivalled pretty much every smile you’d seen him wear. It had you question if he’d ever truly expressed emotion in your presence before, but the edges to it were softer – a tenderness that hid behind the unbridled joy.

“I’ve missed you too. A lot.” He breathed a laugh.

Neither of you were touching – a stark comparison to the bar situation where every inch below the waist had been practically pressed to each other. Somehow, it felt more intimate – that with your words you were able to communicate almost as much as with a single touch. That kind of honesty in your mid-twenties in the jungle of the dating circus was refreshing.

“Look at us, communicating like real adults.” You quipped, unconsciously biting your cheek for a moment, still hazy – you half-expected to wake up, your brain intent on having you believe that this entire scenario was simply a reverie you’d conjured up in your own mind.

“Right? I feel like I’ve matured a decade in the last ten minutes.” He laughed, the sound so sweet you couldn’t help mimicking it. You almost felt guilty drowning out such a beautiful sound.

You shook your head, not in any rush to say much else. You’d said all you wanted to say for now, and the idea of letting it sink in sounded pretty cool.

You were exhausted, too.

“All things considered, I had fun as your fake boyfriend.” He admitted, and you swung your head to face him, amused at his statement.

“Is that the narrative you had in mind when you showed up?” You teased.

He hummed, nodding his head, “How did I do?”

You shook your head in disbelief. Honestly, he’d certainly acted the part, even though his behaviours and little idiosyncrasies in showing his affection towards you in subtle ways hadn’t changed from how he’d usually act.

“I’ve seen better.” You joked, a smile on your face.

He could tell you were kidding, but he feigned offence either way – partly for both your entertainment and also because he was curious as to which direction you’d take it, “Oh, you have multiple fake boyfriends on your roster?”

You shook your head, laughing becoming deeper with every minute change to his facial expression, “You’re my favourite fake boyfriend.”

“Favourite?” He echoed, his smile fading slightly but remaining all the same. 

Softening.

“The only fake boyfriend.” Your laughing dwindled, until your cheeks were aching from the intensity of your smile.

You hadn’t realised it, but somehow you’d both unconsciously leaned into each other; your shoulders were pressed tightly together, and your face was slightly tilted towards his, just as he’d tilted down a little.

This kind of tension had always existed between you both; woven and seamlessly inserted between the contrasting fabrics you were made up of, but between the inches separating you, it seemed to have its own life. It felt as obvious as the Northern Lights flashing in the sky – just out of reach but one single motion of you looking upwards would have your heart stuttering and you’d be unable to tear your attention away from the spectacle – there was the acknowledgement that you were experiencing a pivotal moment.

That if you and Jack gave in and removed the last couple of inches, ultimately submitting to your urges, nothing would ever quite be the same between you.

“I don’t want to be your fake boyfriend.” He whispered, eyes flicking down to your lips.

“I don’t want you to be my fake boyfriend, either.” You were almost breathless, the mere thought of what could possibly occur in the next few seconds consuming your entire being until it was all you could think about.

His lips against yours, slotting together in a hot mess, even despite the grimy location.

Until you just couldn’t take it anymore. In those split seconds you’d finished talking, eyes zeroing in on his microexpressions and then fixating on his lips, the patience you’d heroically harbouring vanished, and you found yourself lifting your head, placing a tentative kiss on his lips. It was quick, but you felt the heat almost instantly – it was difficult not to, considering the featherlight contact almost burnt you.

Electrifying.

It barely lasted five seconds, and it hardly took any time for him to respond, his mouth only just beginning to move against yours before you pulled away, almost afraid to venture into previously chartered territory. This was nothing new, but there was something glaringly terrifying straying into commitment – because that what that kiss ultimately symbolised: a short, sweet promise that cemented any and all doubts either of you could have possibly had about the other; a pledge that you were both on the same page.

It did seem, however, that you were holding back, because Jack had barely had any time to properly react to your ministrations before you’d pulled away, and you could feel the heat of his hands hovering over your cheeks – his brows pulled down in confusion even despite the heartbreakingly astonishing smile now permanently etched on his lips. 

It was a cheeky one, and you could recognise the glint in his eye from a mile away.

You had a singular second to register exactly what it meant, before he’d dealt the dilemma he’d been battling for an incredibly short amount of time, before you felt his hand – rough yet passionate – rest itself on the side of your jaw, his fingers just reaching into your hair at the back of your neck, before he was pulling you closer, his lips slotting perfectly between yours, and one of your hands automatically made to grab his forearm, the other resting on his shoulder, tickling the ends of his hair.

Like you’d wanted, it was a hot mess; both of you intent on breathing the other in, to the point where you couldn’t tell where you ended and he began. Your mouths were working together in an intricate dance, one that only the both of you seemed able to perform to such a chaotic standard, and it was his tongue that traced your bottom lip eagerly, your mouth parting wider to invite him in.

You were vaguely aware of your screaming lungs and the need to gather air, but your instincts and desire were screaming at you to never let this man go; the very essence of him was addicting to the point you were sure you’d let him annihilate your heart wholly if it meant you’d experience even a shred of his attentions and love in your lifetime.

“Get a room!” A gravelly voice startled you both apart, your hand felling to grip the material of his jumper in your fist, and very briefly you felt him make a move to shield you from the intruder – if only for a brief moment.

You didn’t blame him – it was difficult to remember exactly where you were when your senses were so incredibly intoxicated by his presence.

Both your chests were heaving, and Jack nodded awkwardly at the man standing at the top of the stairs. He wasn’t someone you recognised, but he was carrying a bottle of red wine in one hand, the screw top lid missing, and he was in an expensive looking silk dressing gown, shaking his head in disappointment.

“Acting like horny teenagers, the lot of them.” You heard him mutter under his breath as he trudged away, uncaring of the inquisitive looks he was being subjected to, and it was only when he rounded the block, disappearing entirely from view that you and Jack took one look at each other’s messed up appearances: his hair was a wild mess, his hat knocked off somewhere in the haze of the action, and his cheeks flushed, lips slightly swollen and shiny – you were almost positive you were in a state mirrored to that, and it took hardly any effort at all before you were both giggling like a bunch of schoolgirls.

It was kind of ridiculous how easily you managed to get lost in each other.

“Want to stay the night?” Jack interrupted, “No double-meanings; I just wanted to know if you’d like to get breakfast with me in the morning? I think I still owe you from last time.”

You found yourself nodding before you could even muster up the energy to string a sentence together.

[simpforsix]

lorien legacies as things me and my friends have said/done

Six: He punched Justin Trudeau in high school.

Five: HELL YEAH harm reduction king!

-

Nine, standing perpendicular to the floor while trying to climb a shelf: Is weed supposed to make you calm? Because I think it just undid my ADHD meds.

-

Adam: Oh yeah I haven't given you guys a life update! So, right after the murder-

Ella: THE MURDER???

-

Nine: There should be an Olympics where you're allowed to and encouraged to take a bunch of performance enhancing drugs.

Marina: What, like a drug Olympics?

Nine: WE SHOULD HAVE DRUG OLYMPICS!

John: NO, THAT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

Six: LET'S TEST THE LIMITS OF THE HUMAN BODY!

Marina: PEOPLE WILL DIE!

Nine: OVERPOPULATION!

Marina: YOU'RE FIXING OVERPOPULATION VIA DRUG OLYMPICS??

Six: IF PEOPLE DIE AT THE DRUG OLYMPICS THEN PEOPLE WON'T WANNA USE DRUGS!

John: YOU DON'T HAVE TO KILL PEOPLE TO MAKE A DRUG PSA!

Sam: *dancing to the music in the background*

-

Ella: It's 1am, time for your daily picrews I made of you!

-

Sarah: My parents got mad at me for changing my name because it disrespected "the naming ceremony".

Six: The fucking WHAT??

Sam: The holy naming ceremony. Duh.

-

Ella: This is JUST like the Spanish dub thing.

Marina: What?

John: What are you talking about?

Ella: Hang on. *turns to Sam on FaceTime*

Ella: This is just like the Spanish dub, right?

Sam: Oh yeah, for sure.

-

John: Politics are like my sports.

-

Five: Just because someone died somewhere doesn't mean the place is haunted. I mean... I would know.

-

Marina: This place was built over a cemetery, and it's said that these streets are haunted by those whose graves were not moved.

Adam: Huh. I'm staying a few blocks from here, maybe that's why I've been hearing one loud bang on the walls of my room every night at 9pm.

Marina:

Marina: Please send me a video of that.

-

Nine: Do you think they've ever explored each others bodies?

John: Definitely.

Sam: Guys, the Prime Minister of Canada and the Leader of the Opposition have never had gay sex.

Nine: They should have mandatory sword fights to release the homoerotic tension.

[codename-adler]

uh hi uh hey what scene in a fic of yours would you most want to rewrite from someone else's perspective? and what character would you most want to explore from someone who's not super involved's perspective? (like andrew & neils relationship from the pov of someone they're playing against or something like that)

-@allforthefuckinggays

at last, i shall respond!

no bc i'm like, so sorry?? this is such a great question and it's soooooo nice of you @allforthefuckinggays 😭 i have no excuse. i only have an answer.

there are so many possibilities it's difficult to settle on one, and every second i think of another idea. overall, though, for the 'what scene in a fic of yours would you most want to rewrite from someone else's perspective?' part, it always comes back to writing Andrew's pov whenever Aaron is found injured in dance 'til you find someone to die for . partly because i would loooove to be able to write Andrew pov, accurately in character, because to me that seems impossible. Nora Sakavic really put her whole crack & cocaine when bringing him to life, it's a skill i don't think i possess. then if i could write Andrew pov well... i am like Neil. i want to see him lose control. but inside. i'd want his inner monologue while Aaron's just laying there on the concrete, motionless, paling by the second, and Andrew cannot do anything about it. plus, up until now in the fic, he was medicated still; what do those thoughts look like while in a battle with seeing Aaron, Andrew's priority despite appearances, so beat up and the physical evidence of Andrew's failure in their deal? madness. that's what i want. wish i could read that. wish i could write that.

then, 'what character would you most want to explore from someone who's not super involved's perspective?': Andrew from Jeremy pov. hands down. no hesitation. idk what it is about those 2 that draw me in and makes me want to connect them so bad. maybe i have expectations set too high when it comes to Jeremy, but i can't help feeling like he would not treat Andrew the way the Foxes have. maybe because Kevin trusts him, with Jean, and handed him over knowing/hoping it was for the best; and god knows Jean and Andrew are the same side of the same coin. (PSA: HAVE NOT READ TSC YET, PLEASE DO NOT SPOIL IN ANY WAY OR FORM.) so, i'd like to see what Jeremy sees when he looks at Andrew, what he thinks of him, what he deduces, from observing him and talking with him. oh i want them to talk so so bad. even if it does not lead to the dream friendship of my heart. and even if they never speak, i want Jeremy's version of Andrew. even if it's a brief rant of Jeremy's gushing over Andrew's Exy skills and performance. i want it. i need it. like, the Ravens-Foxes Championships showdown from Jeremy's perspective?? Andrew breaking Riko's arm live from the Jeremy broadcast?? PLEASE. and it's not about Andreil at all, i don't really care about Jeremy's opinion/perspective on that. i just want Andrew Minyard (Jeremy's Version).

[mytastessuck]

The Residents: Commercial Album

Objectively one of the greatest works of art on the planet, The Commercial Album's development is almost as interesting as the music itself. The whole thing is another dig at Top 40 radio but with a twist: Every song is around one minute as a commercial jingle. As a stunt, the band purchased 40 minutes worth of advertising space on San Francisco's most popular radio station at the time, KFRC, to play the album's songs over and over again for three days. Art or advertising? Who cares when these lucky bastards got to listen to Margaret Freeman on their morning commute?!

Easter Woman

Yes, the perfect ad for a grieving service for your dead spouses! Excellent and ominous!

9/10

2. Perfect Love

Steady thumping beats about whatever you choose to be affectionate with. Perfect for a cock ring commercial.

7/10

3. Picnic Boy

Perfect for an anti-fat shaming PSA...or a chain of restaurants called Picnic Boy.

9/10

4. End Of Home

Eerie and sounds like an approaching intruder...perfect for a security alarm system!

8/10

5. Amber

Got a good western theme to it. Perfect for a cowboy-themed diaper commercial!

8/10

6. Japanese Watercolor

Vaguely far eastern. Perfect to advertise an art gallery!

8/10

7. Secrets

An almost childish melody to accentuate the anxiety of keeping a personal matter (interesting if you know Hardy Fox was gay). Perfect for an antivirus ad!

10/10

8. Die In Terror

Literally horrifying. Perfect tune to advertise any horror movie with. Even Hobgoblins.

10/10

9. Red Rider

Another western themed one. This is perfect to advertise a dude ranch with!

8/10

10. My Second Wife

A bouncy tune that's perfect for any spouse to enjoy! Perfect for advertising a divorce office.

7/10

11. Floyd

Probably the most Residents song on the album with heavy synth and poppiness used to drown out the odd lyrics. Perfect for advertising Taco Bell!

8/10

12. Suburban Bathers

A nice creepy tune about watching others...probably. Perfect for advertising real estate.

9/10

13. Dimples And Toes

A tune that calls to mind horses galloping. Perfect for the defunct chain store Toys R Us!

7/10

14. The Nameless Souls

A nice jingle that feels more like gossip than a song. Perfect for advertising a dating service!

8/10

15. Love Leaks Out

The group gets factory sex on us with machines imitated through their instruments. Perfect for advertising Pep Boys!

8/10

16. The Act Of Being Polite

Absolutely a path through madness. Perfect for advertising therapy services.

10/10

17. Medicine Man

Pounding basses (think that's what they are) accentuate a harmful jingle. Perfect for advertising hospitals!

8/10

18. Tragic Bells

Sounds like a dirge played after a wedding. Perfect for advertising funeral homes!

8/10

19. Loss Of Innocence

The reverb really helps the vocals on this one. Perfect for advertising the phone book!

9/10

20. The Simple Song

A song simple enough that kids can sing it to you while you try to sleep! Perfect for advertising Lionel's Coin Bank!

7/10

21. Up And Downs

Alternating pitches in the vocals really helps the sell the song's titles. Perfect for advertising Chutes And Ladders!

8/10

22. Possessions

A steady tune that never stops picking up throughout the song. Perfect to advertise Dasani to!

7/10

23. Give It To Someone Else

Fretful and anxious, definitely the song you want to pass to another ear like a hot potato. Perfect for advertising condoms!

9/10

24. Phantom

Creeping and threatening, like it was composed by Erik himself. Perfect for advertising Broadway!

7/10

25. Less Not More

Bubbly and fun. Perfect for advertising champagne!

8/10

26. My Work Is So Behind

A bunch of sudden stings make the horror in this song apparent. Perfect for advertising Staples!

9/10

27. Birds In The Trees

Is that a sitar? Sounds like it. Anyway, this is perfect for advertising a botanical garden!

9/10

28. Handful Of Desire

Plinky and sounds like something mice would compose in the church. Perfect for advertising Victoria's Secret!

8/10

29. Moisture

Nice and slippery, as befitting the title. Perfect for advertising Ikea.

9/10

30. Love Is...

You need the drums to have the ladies sing. You just do. This is perfect for advertising a bridal gown shop.

7/10

31. Troubled Man

A surprisingly stringent theme for a troubled song. Perfect for advertising adoption services!

8/10

32. La La

Still hearing a bit of the Western in this one. Did I mention I just left a farm? Anyway, this is perfect for advertising Woody's solo film.

7/10

33. Loneliness

Don't let the loudness fool you. This song encapsulates the melancholy perfectly. Perfect for advertising League Of Legends!

10/10

34. Nice Old Man

Creeping and jarring, like every old man! Perfect for advertising retirement homes!

8/10

35. The Talk Of Creatures

Mumbling of creatures inside you...the obvious advertisement choice for a vet!

9/10

36. Fingertips

Such gallantry that you expect from knighthood. Perfect for advertising Renaissance Faires!

7/10

37. And Between Dreams

Definitely what you hear before you go to sleep. Perfect for advertising a mattress store!

7/10

38. Margaret Freeman

My favorite song from the album so expect no bias when I say it's Andy Patridge's (Sally Sandwich's) best work and should be preserved for future generations to discover. Perfect for advertising Bailey's Ice Cream.

100/10

39. The Coming Of The Crow

Practically getting into metal at this point. Perfect for advertising a Ford truck.

10/10

40. When We Were Young

A perfect way to send you off...and perfect for advertising Power 99 FM.

8/10

Album score: 105/100

Next album is Mark Of The Mole. Hopefully the band will make it through it.

[daemonhxckergrrl]

extremely loud incorrect buzzer

this version of WhatsApp worked 2 hours ago. it repeatedly gave me notifications that it would need to be updated every day for the last week.

it didn't die of old age, it got forcefully disabled.

(obligatory PSA: update your shit for security reasons pls, it's important ! I'm just mad about artificial limitations like this that most likely precede some nefarious policy change or gross new feature)

[moonie-presence]

canvas, wardrobe, & alternate for the oc ask game ?? any character(s) of your choice!! :3

omg hi!!! Ty

canvas: Does your OC have any scars, piercings, tattoos, or other markings? Do they display or cover them up at all?

Du Vide, unless im misremembering, is my only oc with tattoos. They span his entire body, neck to toes, and he did them himself, sewing needle stick n' poke style. I doubt he'd have trusted any one else to ink them.

Since du vide is an upcoming ttrpg character and my fellow players follow me i wont go into detail regarding why he has them by he definitely has them for a reason, relating to his work in experimental machinery/technology. Any good mad scientist tests things on themselves first, obviously.

As for covered up or not, he doesn't make any real effort either way, due to the size of the tattoos. he's usually pretty covered, but he doesn't care if they get seen, theyre not secret. as for why they don't show up in the art usually is because i hate drawing them. weeps

wardrobe: How big is your character's wardrobe? Do they wear things threadbare, or can they afford new clothes often? Are they any good at mending and repairing their own clothing?

Courtland is a notable character wardrobe-wise because i designed him to be so unredrawable due to my madness

pictured: madness

Courtland's wardrobe is relatively large but most of his clothes look the same. The clothes he's wearing up there are his work uniform, so it's what he's usually wearing day to day with a few changes.

however he does have other clothes in line with what you'd expect from an aristocrat, like day clothes, outing clothes, outrageous party clothes, etc. Courtland's got *very* extravagant party clothes. he doesn't get the opportunity to wear them often and isn't very fond of them anyway.

as for when his clothes get fucked up, he's very good at repair. sewing and the like is one of his favorite hobbies!

here's him under all that fabric;

alternate: What would your OC's alternate universe look be? If they're a fantasy character, what's their modern look? If they're sci-fi, what's their fantasy look? What AU would you want to see your OC in, and how would they dress themself? Bonus: Prompt an AU!

when it comes to AUs, the one i end up landing on a lot for the earthshakers is the classic "what if it all never happened"/"what if they lived"

theres exactly one post on here (or the art blog i dont remember) explaining what the deal is with purgatory so heres a quick rundown: In the spaces between realities exists a vast, wild, metaphysical plane referred to occasionally as purgatory, which is a roiling melting pot that chews people up and spits them out as fantastic monsters. getting there is extremely difficult, but the hands down easiest way is to die, and fall through a weakness or crack in your reality when transitioning from life to afterlife.

Since the creatures in purgatory are always changing to suit their needs and there is no true ceiling for what can happen to you, occasionally a particularly strong-willed individual will grab unmatched, omnipotent power and become something called an earthshaker, the highest most feared echelon of purgatorian life. not gods, but damn well close. The earthshakers i've designed are Wellium (aka Lux, or the White Light), Videns, and Seleen.

(psa: this is a creative project? headworld? thing? ive been working on for literally upwards of 6-7 years now. I consider it my special interest, but its kind of nebulous and wordy and i get Too Excited about it so i end up rotating it around in my head a lot instead of talking about it)

Each of the three come from wildly different places/settings, and each has a grisly death, leading to their conquering of the endless voidplane. It's a fun thought to think about, about where they'd be if they just never died at all.

Wellium was once a soldier, a test tube baby/experimental weapon used in an intergalatic war. Eventually after a life of training to kill the unfamiliar, her life was considered inconsequential enough to be selected to guide and activate an experimental bomb to attempt to wipe out their enemy. Videns was a child born with select supernatural powers, and out of fear and superstition was drowned in a river by a mob of villagers after a life of living on the run. Seleen, a magician, was born with too much magic, and died when her body couldn't handle the strain anymore.

like. Videns could have found a place where she couldve flourished and been accepted. Seleen couldve pursued other paths in life instead of obsessing over her own impeding death and the use of the very thing that doomed her. Wellium couldve gone home.

their deaths are tragic, but theyre what set them on the path to kinghood and make them the creatures they are now. however, due to the way their universes work, there are realities where they did live, and lived full lives. got the chances to become people. its fun to think about!

what is and what was.

again ty soooo much for the ask! sorry that this post is dashboard destroying lol

[totally-bing]

"our society is stagnating! no significant technological advancements have been made! we won't reach space in our lifetime and global warming will kill us all!" first of all since fucking when did we stop technologically advancing? five years ago people thought ai like the kind we have today wasn't going to be possible for like three more decades. sure, they had lofty expectations, but it's an analog version and i have to say, it's good at doing what they wanted it to do. also space travel is cheaper than ever and we're inventing reusable rockets (fuck elon musk but damn is his spaceship company doing pretty good work). also global warming isn't really "solved", i will admit, but have you seen a picture of the ozone layer compared to a decade ago? if you haven't, go look it up, it's pretty enlightening. plus all of the technologies not only proposed, but the ones that already exist and are in place to help counteract and even reverse it just make me certain we won't have to worry about it before it kills everybody. main issue with our society currently? our social norms are shit and you fucks need to get your acts together. for the record, i mean everybody. hating somebody is pathetic, vendettas and grievances are worthless, and any form of non-friendly rivalry makes me want to die. stop hating people. if somebody is causing problems, make them a social outcast or kill them. the top 400 richest people in america can either die or give up their money, because if they don't they will die anyways. kill the rich. kill the politically corrupt. fight for a better world, since apparently everybody thinks that complaining and getting mad does anything to people who haven't given a shit since the day they were born. if you genuinely think somebody is a drain on society, kill them. psa over, feel free to rip into me over this because i'm annoyed and i want my point to be proven

[perfectlygenericblog]

PSA: Friendly reminder that if I live in your head rent free, you can get your own post and that's that on that.

Get well soon hope this helps and die mad about it!

[firelord-frowny]

reading about a dude who survived at sea for a year on a derelict boat after the other dude he was with died, and

According to Alvarenga, Córdoba lost all hope around four months into the voyage after becoming sick from the raw food, and eventually died from starvation by refusing to eat.[16] Alvarenga has said that he contemplated suicide for four days after Córdoba died,[10] but his Christian faith prevented him from doing so.[5][12] He related that Córdoba made him promise not to eat his corpse after he died, so he kept it on the boat. He sometimes spoke to the corpse and after six days, fearing he was going insane, he threw it overboard.[17]

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY OMG LMAO WHYYYYYYYYY????? is it just me or is that so fucking petty???? or selfish or something?? omg! like dude! you're dead! what do you care if your body gets eaten????

lemme just say in a PSA to everyone on earth except the kkk, neo nazis, etc,

if you get stranded somewhere with me and i die, PLEASE EAT ME! JUST FUCKING DO IT! EAT ME!!!! literally, if you do NOT eat me, i will be OFFENDED! because if you're about to starve to death out at sea and you wind up with a perfectly good fresh person to chow down on and you DON'T chow down, you are a FOOL!!!!

ok maybe not a fool, but like.

i am giving you permission to eat me!

if you choose not to eat me because of your own values, or you just think that'd be gross and weird, then fine. i won't be mad at you for not eating me.

but don't not eat me out of ~respect~ or anything lmao.

let it be known that if Firelord Frowny is ever stranded with anyone (except for the aforementioned groups) and i die first, my dying wish is to be eaten.