#❝ YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN 〈 OOC 〉 | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

youatemylollipop · 2 years ago

Text

A/N: This is another variant of the requested one-shot based on what the requester actually wanted. I also wanted to pinpoint that this is my first time writing a direct one-shot about Izana, so I apologize if I had accidentally made him a bit ooc. But let’s hope that this time it will apply to what you had in mind!🖤

Request: “I loved your Izana headcanons! Can I possibly ask for something with Yan! Izana snatching Mikey’s s/o away from him?”

Original Version: The Year Spring Never Arrived

Synopsis: Manjirō wasn’t the same boy you once knew. You understood where he was coming from, of course. Still, there was nothing strange in wanting your boyfriend to show you at least some bits of the past love he once held for you.

Fandom: Tokyo Revengers

Characters: Kurokawa Izana X Reader X Sano Manjirō

⚠️ WARNING: Angst, obsession, jealousy, possessiveness, romanticized yandere behavior, yandere Izana, grief/mourning, unhealthy coping mechanisms, self hatred, emotional and physical cheating, mentions of death, miscommunication, signs of manipulation, explicit sexual content, underage? (Reader is 16/17 years old and Izana is 19), implied dub-con, cursing, mind break, MDNI!!

Word Count: 12.4K

“I slept with Izana,” you say, the words hanging in the thickening air like a weighty confession. The bouquet of fresh blue hyacinths falls from his hands and lands on the pavement with a soft rustle. Mikey's eyes widen, and his body seems to freeze as he processes what you just said.

A long silence follows, filled with tension that thickens the air around you with each passing second. You can feel the weight of Mikey's gaze on you, his eyes dark with a mix of shock and disbelief.

“I was actually just on my way to your place,” you say, your voice carefully measured as you try to ease the ever so growing tension. “I—I mean, I care for you a lot and didn't want to keep it a secret from you.”

The tense silence is thick enough to cut with a knife, the air heavy with unspoken emotions. The blond boy standing before you interrupts the uneasy stillness, his voice barely above a whisper. Gaze, fixated on the two pairs of feet beneath, one belonging to him.

“Was it me?” His voice is quivering with a mix of uncertainty and fear as he speaks. As if he already knows the answer, but can’t bring himself to accept it. His mind, consumed with the possibility that he might have been the one responsible for the situation that has led you to this moment.

“I’m so sorry Manjirō!” You cry out, tears falling down your cheeks. “I never meant to hurt you!”

You hiccup, trying to find the right words to explain, even though you know it’s meaningless. “It’s just that I’ve been feeling so lonely and neglected lately and Izana was there and-”

Your voice catches in your throat as you struggle to articulate the complex emotions roiling within you. The weight of your loneliness presses down on you like a physical force, and you feel like you're drowning in it.

As you speak, your words tumble out in a jumbled rush, tripping over each other in their haste to escape your lips. Your thoughts are a tangled mess, and you can feel your heart racing as you struggle to make sense of them. Your breaths come in short, sharp gasps, and you feel light-headed and disoriented.

You take a deep breath, closing your eyes and trying to center yourself. The air is cool and crisp against your skin, and you can feel it filling your lungs as you inhale. Slowly, you begin to calm down, and your stuttering voice steadies itself.

With a sense of mounting dread, you realize that you're about to say something that could change everything. But you can't keep it inside any longer—the words are burning a hole in your chest, and you have to let them out.

"And I couldn't help but question your love for me," you say, your voice barely above a whisper. The words hang in the air like a death knell, and you feel a sense of despair wash over you.

“[Name]-chin…” Mikey sniffles, taking a step closer. “I’m sorry for making you feel that way. I’m not angry with you, it was my fault not yours.”

Mikey stands before you, his eyes filled with remorse and regret. His voice quivers as he addresses you, his tone laced with sorrow. You can hear the sadness in his voice as he apologizes for the pain he caused you. With each word, you can sense the weight of his guilt and the sincerity of his remorse.

As he takes a step closer, you notice the tears that have welled up in his eyes. His vulnerability makes your heart ache. You can feel the tension in the air as he swallows hard. “If you want, I’m willing to look past this.”

You shake your head, “No, you shouldn’t.” He really shouldn’t. Because it was you who had screwed things up. So you stand your ground, unwilling to let him take the blame for your mistake.

If only you were more patient and gave him time, things wouldn't be this way. God, how much you hate yourself for putting him into this position. As if his life isn't hard enough already.

"You're not at fault, [Name]-chin," as he speaks, the words seem to hang heavily in the air, as though they are reluctant to leave his lips.

His voice is soft and gentle, like a soothing balm to your troubled heart. As he falls to his knees, you can feel the chill of the hard ground seeping into your bones, but you don’t care. All that matters is the warmth of his presence next to you.

"I promise I'll do better," he adds, looking up at you, eyes filled with misery. You close your eyes as his thumb goes up to brush away the tears, before settling on your damp cheeks. The touch is gentle, yet firm, as though trying to erase the pain and hurt that has been etched there. You can smell the faint scent of his cologne and feel the warmth of his breath against your face.

It's quiet for a while, and sniffles can be heard coming from both of you. Then, he embraces you, whispers of promises filling your ear. Your eyes meet his, and you can see the raw emotion in his expression. His eyes are pleading with you, silently begging for forgiveness. You can feel your resolve melting away under his gaze, like ice thawing in the warmth of the sun.

It's hard to resist the pleading look in his eyes and the intensity of his emotions. However, you know that things won’t ever be the same, and that you should stand up and walk away. So you stand your ground, ignoring the sudden stab that pierces your heart, and as you speak, the words come out strangely refreshing, as if a boulder had been lifted from your shoulders.

"I'm sorry Manjiro, but it's time to face the truth. We've grown apart. It's nobody's fault, but we can't keep pretending everything's okay."

The downpours had been unusually aggressive that night, making it impossible for you to get any proper sleep. You were currently in the kitchen, standing near the microwave and waiting for the popcorn to finish. Since you couldn't fall asleep, you had decided to embark on a quick movie marathon with all the films that you had at some point wanted to watch but never found the motivation to actually do so.

As the popcorn continued to pop, a few knocks sounded from outside the corridor. You tiptoed toward the front door—which was kinda stupid you now realized since you knew that it was pretty unlikely that anyone would be able to hear you over the howling wind. Besides, the fact that the lights were on already made your presence obvious.

It was difficult to make out the silhouette, but deep down, you knew who it was. The tight squeeze in your chest spoke volumes for it, and something told you that it had to be serious in order for your boyfriend to come here at this hour, in this kind of weather.

“[Name]-chin…” His voice was hoarse, and due to the puffiness of his almost completely red eyes, it was evident that he had been crying for a long time. This was fairly unusual since Mikey had never been one to openly express his vulnerabilities.

You quickly ushered him inside, helping him to take off his shoes and coat before sending him to the bathroom so that he could take a warm bath. In the meantime, you found some of your dads old and unused clothes as well as one of your oversized hoodies that you knew would fit him just fine.

It took a while for him to finally come out, but even after he did, Mikey seemed both less bratty, but also more bratty, than usual, appearing conflicted. On one hand, he didn't want to bother you because he feared you might eventually grow tired of him and leave him. On the other hand, he wanted you to spoil him and show his vulnerability since you were the only person with whom he felt completely comfortable and trusted.

The movie marathon was now canceled as you had mentally decided that you would put all your attention on your boyfriend who clearly needed it the most. You led him into your bedroom beckoning him to take the side that was pressed against the wall. However, instead of laying down next to him, you sat on the edge of the bed, caressing his cheek gently, like your mother would do when you were little before going to sleep.

“Do you want some dorayaki?” Onyx eyes blinked sleepily up at your figure before nodding his head slightly. Giving the male a gentle smile, you quietly padded toward the kitchen, hoping not to startle your sleeping parents, before returning to your bedroom.

Mikey was staring through the window with a dazed expression, the aggressive bursts from the wind outside receiving no reaction from the blond. His mind was seemingly completely elsewhere, and whatever it was that was occupying his attention made him completely ignorant to his surroundings.

Only as you placed the plate of his favorite pastries, did he finally acknowledge your presence, but paid little attention to the treats. Noticing this, you crawled over the bed to get closer to him.

“Is everything okay?” Paying no mind to your question, the male simply scooted closer to you, as he wanted to feel your body against his. He wrapped his muscular arms around your waist while nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your scent. For the first time that day, Mikey felt grounded when he caught the familiar combination of lavender and chocolate.

“I have another brother,” he mumbled quietly, causing you to furrow your eyebrows in confusion at the sudden statement. He had another brother? Then how come he didn’t know about this till now?

Why does Manjirō look so sad?

"What do you mean?" You asked tentatively, gently running your fingers through his long ash blonde locks. This made the boy let out hums of appreciation as you did your best to comfort him.

“[Name]-chin…” He whispered quietly, pulling away from you slightly in order to get a more proper look of your face. “You won’t leave me right? You'll stay with me?”

Where was this coming from?

“Why would I ever leave you, silly?” You tried to word it as a lighthearted joke in hopes of easing his nerves. However, it did not seem to work as Mikey looked at you with the same urgency as before, if only a bit subsided.

“It’s just that I know that I’m not a pleasing person to be around, and,” he trailed off, not finding the strength to meet your intense gaze. “Izana already seems to hate me…”

Izana?

Taking notice of your increasingly confused gaze, Mikey pulled away completely. He then sat himself straight. You followed his course of action and put your legs into a cross-legged position.

“Remember when I told you about a newly formed gang called Tenjiku a few days ago?” You pursed your lips in concentration as you tried to recall exactly what Mikey had told you. The name sounded awfully familiar, but more as a distant whisper, until a lightbulb appeared above your head and memories began to flood back.

“Right, isn’t it that the gang from Yokohama that’s been taking down Toman members recently?” Mikey nodded his head solemnly, and you could tell that the topic seemed to take a toll on him. A part of you wanted to tell him that he didn’t need to talk about this right now if he didn’t want to, but another wanted to be there for him and let him vent everything that he’s been suppressing so far.

The boy, with ash blonde locks falling over his face, explained in a subdued manner, “He's leading it.” His downcast eyes and refusal to make eye contact betrayed his struggle to maintain composure. His voice was so faint and weak that you had to lean in to hear him.

You hated seeing him like this. So fragile and sad. This wasn't your Manjirō. You didn’t know who this Izana person was, but you sure as hell did not appreciate the way he made your usually bright ball of sunshine feel. You knew just how much family meant for him and how destroyed he must feel to know that his apparent brother was doing his best to ruin him.

Taking a hold of his larger hand, you gently squeezed it as a form of reassurance before reaching out for one of the untouched dorayakis. “Here, I bought these today,” you cooed, pecking his cheek sweetly.

“I tried visiting you today,” a small pout appeared on your face as you tried to bait him with the dorayaki while holding it right in front of his face. “But Ken-chan told me that you weren’t home and needed some time for yourself.”

Mikey could feel a faint smile forming on his lips, hidden beneath the strands of ash. Shaking his head slightly, the boy opened his mouth, a silent request for you to feed him. Deciding to humor him, you swayed with the dorayaki in a similar way that he would quite often play with his taiyakis. Mikey couldn’t help but giggle since it looked more like a floating pancake than a fish in the deep sea.

However, as soon as he took a bite of the seemingly entrancing pastry, the dream-like state he had previously found himself in instantly vanished. You noticed the sudden change in his facial expression and furrowed your eyebrows, taking a small bite of the fluffy pancake, as you wondered what could have caused such a reaction from him.

Widening your eyes, you sent Mikey an apologetic smile before explaining what had happened today. "I'm sorry, Manjirō,” you said softly, “that strange boy took me by surprise, and I didn't see which flavors I took.” Deliberately not bringing up the fact that you had initially contemplated which flavor you wanted to buy for him.

As you decided to take the other pancake pastry to ensure it had the right flavor, the boy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “What boy?” He asked, staring at you intently, causing your hand to freeze in midair.

Blinking at him dumbly, you simply let out a barely audible, ‘Huh?’ escaped your lips as you continued to stare at him with a blank expression. Mikey didn’t seem to buy it, however, as his gaze remained fixated on you.

"Oh, did I say boy?" You laughed awkwardly, trying to divert his attention from your slip-up. "What I meant to say was a completely harmless old man who was actually going to buy some freshly baked pastries for his grandchildren."

“[Name]-chin…”

“Did I mention that he looked awfully similar to Grandpa Sano?” You dared to sneak a small glance in your boyfriend's direction as you finished that sentence, only to be met by the most adorable expression you’ve ever seen. Lies. Any expression your boyfriend makes could win the award for the world's most adorable.

The male puffed out his cheeks, and you couldn't help but coo at him. Your hands instinctively reached up to pinch the soft flesh, but Mikey half-heartedly swatted them away. He was about to say something, but you interrupted him before he could speak.

“Do you know how much you resemble a chipmunk whenever you puff your cheeks out like that?” You spoke teasingly, still hoping that you’d manage to make him forget about the previous conversation. And it seemed to work, since you saw the way his right eye twitched at the comment. Though, the newly found pinkness dusting his cheeks showed that the displayed annoyance was anything but true.

The boy huffed, sending you an annoyed glare. “That cheap trick wouldn’t even fool Baji, and you think that it’d work on me?” His expression was screaming ‘tantrum throwing child’ and you're pretty sure that you have never seen the blond look so offended before.

You couldn’t help but giggle at his comment, subconsciously imagining what Keisuke’s reaction would look like had he been here right now. Though, amusement was also accompanied by bits of nostalgia and sadness as past memories of you together with your childhood best friend suddenly came rushing back intensely.

“What happened?” You blinked, Mikey’s voice somehow managing to bring you back to the present. Focusing your attention back on him, you noticed the look of concern that his eyes were carrying. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

You shook your head, pursing your lips while trying to find the right words to say. “No, he didn’t hurt me,” you spoke carefully, left hand rubbing your other arm as you tried to rid yourself of the growing tension inside your body. “It’s just that he said something…strange.”

Mikey’s concern grew with your answer, as an uneasy feeling settled within his bones. “What did he say?”

You fumbled with the hem of your pajama top, doing your best to remember the orchid-eyed male’s parting words. “I’m not sure if I remember, but…” you trailed off, trying to recall which exact words he had used.

As you peruse the array of pastries on the counter of the quaint shop you are visiting, your eyes linger on a particular dorayaki filled with precious red bean paste that you know your childish boyfriend adores so much. But a mischievous impulse tugs at you, tempting you to buy the curry-filled option that you know he despises.

You are too far gone in your own little world, contemplating which option to choose. Suddenly, a shiver runs down your spine as you feel as if somebody is watching you. Just as you are about to turn around and survey your surroundings, the bell jingles merrily as someone opens the glass-tinted door, announcing their arrival to the shop.

Blinking a few times, in order to bring yourself back to reality, ordinary [e/c] are met by a pair of gorgeous yet unfamiliar lilac—or perhaps pink—eyes. It isn’t the first time you see someone with eyes falling into this color palette, yet somehow they seem to be in a completely different category.

As you continue to gaze into the stranger's eyes, you are struck by the unique shade of color that dances within their irises. The hue is reminiscent of an orchid in full bloom, with delicate petals that curve and twist like the tendrils of a dream. You can’t help but feel captivated by the hypnotic beauty of the orchid-colored eyes that now hold you in their gaze.

“How long are you planning on staring?” A honeyed voice soon reaches your ears, forcing you out of the strange trance that you once again find yourself in.

The male’s voice is mostly monotone, though you can still identify a hint of annoyance lingering within it. He’s not exceptionally tall, but still strikingly beautiful. The tanned skin contrasts with the platinum blonde hair that looks to be almost strands of silver falling down his face.

“Haha,” you shake your head in order to bring yourself out of the trance that you once again find yourself in, rubbing the back of your head sheepishly as you send him a shy smile. “Sorry, it’s just that you’re so beautiful that I was at a loss for words.”

A pregnant pause soon follows as the male’s annoyed gaze gradually grows into one of curiosity and intrigue. You, on the other hand, can feel your own cheeks flare up in embarrassment, not believing that you just said something like that to a stranger. Not to mention, that it was the first sentence you had uttered.

Before he can utter another word, you quickly put two dorayakis of respective flavor into a paper bag and speed-walk out of the shop. You think you can hear somebody chasing after you but don’t pay much attention to it. Only when you feel a large hand take a hold of your arm do you stop, as the unknown person’s other hand goes up and covers your mouth preventing you from making any sound.

“Be quiet,” a hushed tone speaks gently into your ear as your eyes frantically search for an escape route, readying your left leg to lend a powerful kick if necessary. However, only as the man uncovers your mouth, do you notice how gentle his hold actually is, causing you to instantly relax.

You aren’t completely sure of what you were expecting, but you can’t help but believe that it should have been the tanned male from the pastry shop that had chased you. For some reason, it makes more sense than this. Yet instead, It was some unknown male with a large scar on his face. You simply have no clue as to why this man had been the one to do so, when you’ve never met before.

"You owe me 400 yen," says another, more familiar this time, voice. It’s low and menacing and seems to come from the beginning of the alleyway that you had suddenly found yourself in. You recognize him as the same boy you had just run away from, but he appears much calmer and put-together than you, with his tanned skin and well-groomed appearance.

You wonder why he’s demanding money from you and what he will do if you don’t pay him. As he observes the bewilderment in your [e/c] eyes, the male rolls his own.

“You didn’t pay for the pastries that you took,” he states plainly, gesturing towards the paper bag that you are clutching onto for dear life. After a moment, his words finally register in your brain, and the confusion that has been showing in your eyes transforms into embarrassment.

You hurriedly begin to search for your purse before pulling the brown square-shaped item out of your school bag. It’s then that you finally realize just how stupid you must have looked, running away from a pastry shop simply because you had accidentally complimented some random stranger.

"T-Thank you," you say, bowing your head. "And… uhm… I’m sorry for putting you in such an uncomfortable position." As you speak, the male steps closer to you, placing his fingers beneath your chin and tilting it upwards to face him.

“Interesting…” The male’s face is now uncomfortably closer to yours, orchid-colored eyes watching you carefully as if he’s inspecting you. “I think I’m starting to understand why he is so smitten by you.” Furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, you silently watch as he exits the alleyway, his scarred friend not far behind.

“He did say something about understanding why someone is smitten by me,” you spoke after recalling the event. At the mention of your words, Mikey's expression instantly grew serious, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips pressing together in concern. He leaned forward slightly and asked with a tone that showed a hint of suspicion. “What did he look like?”

You let out a deep breath, the weight of the conversation heavy on your mind. Your response was hesitant and quiet, almost as if you were afraid to speak too loudly. "He didn't look fully Japanese," you said, the words tumbling out almost reluctantly.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you try to recall the details of the encounter. "Maybe Filipino, I think?" you added, your voice trailing off as you searched your memory for any distinguishing features. The room was quiet as you spoke, the tension palpable as you struggled to put your thoughts into words.

The blond's face was a portrait of contemplation, his lips pursed tight in concentration as he gazed down at his lap. His piercing onyx eyes seemed lost in thought, as if he was grappling with a weighty decision. You strained to read his expression, but his luxurious ash blonde hair cascaded down in a veil, hiding his features from view. Despite your curiosity, you couldn't help but admire the silky strands as they shimmered in the light, creating a mesmerizing sight.

“If you see him again, I want you to tell me, alright?” Despite the fact that it had been phrased as a question, you could clearly hear the hidden demand behind the words. He wasn’t asking, but telling you that this was how you should act the next time this guy decides to approach you.

As you gazed deeply into Manjirō's eyes, you could sense the weight of his unease and anxiety. His fingers quivered in your grasp, their hold tight and unrelenting. Your brow furrowed, and you felt a pang of sympathy for his fears.

Drawing nearer to him, you caressed the back of his hand with gentle strokes, feeling the roughness of his skin against your fingertips. The warmth of his touch against yours offered a sense of solace.

"Manjirō," you whispered, the words caressing his name as they escaped your lips. You leaned in closer, your breath warm against his cheek. "There's no need to be afraid," you reassured him, your voice a soft melody that flowed like a gentle stream.

As you spoke, you could feel the tension in his body begin to ease, like a knot slowly unraveling. His eyes flickered with uncertainty, but he leaned into your words, like a sapling bending towards the sun.

With a gentle touch, you placed your hand on his shoulder, offering a comforting presence. "Nothing bad has happened," you repeated, your voice a soothing balm to the fears that plagued his heart.

But Mikey shook his head adamantly, a hint of desperation creeping into his quivering voice. "Promise me, [Name]-chin," he pleaded. "Please promise me you'll tell me."

You pursed your lips, your heart heavy with compassion. Slowly nodding your head, you wrapped your arms around him, holding him tenderly as you made your vow. "I promise," you murmured. "If he ever comes near me again, I'll let you know."

Your whisper was faint, but due to the close proximity of your lips to his ear, your words were impossible to miss. Despite the angry howling of the winds outside, Mikey could feel himself slowly relaxing inside the safe space of your warm and loving embrace.

As he nestled his face against the crook of your neck, Mikey's cheeks flushed a bright shade of pink that trailed down to his neck and ears. Breathing in your heavenly scent, he felt certain that, with you by his side, he could overcome anything.

“For fucks sake!" The boy snapped as all the pent up emotions that had been boiling up from within suddenly exploded. “Will you get off my back!”

Mikey's face contorted with rage as he yelled, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. The air was thick with tension as he struggled to contain the overwhelming emotions that had been building up inside him for so long. Finally, with a primal scream, he let it all out.

You couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness as you watched the young boy struggling with his pain. Despite the anger in his voice, you knew that he was hurting deeply and that he needed help. With a heavy heart, you raised your voice to match his, hoping to break through the wall of emotion that surrounded him.

The tension in the room was palpable as the air crackled with frustration and pain. Mikey's fists were clenched so tightly that his knuckles had turned white, his face twisted into a mask of anger and hurt. You could see the tears glistening in his eyes, and your heart ached for him.

Tears began to pour down your cheeks as the two of you continued to hold eye contact. The blond looked like he wanted to say something, but was quick to cut himself off before he could accidentally cause any more damage than he already had.

You carefully took a step forward, nose stuffed with snot from all the crying. Gently grasping his hand, you pursed your lips slightly before meeting his hollow gaze. “P-Please just…” you hiccuped, “just let me be there for you.”

Mikey pressed his lips into a firm line, guilt gnawing at him from inside his throat. He felt nauseous, hating that he was the reason for your current state. His eyes stung as tears threatened to spill like a flood. He didn't deserve to cry, not when he had caused so much agony to the person he cherished most.

"Just leave me alone," he muttered, his voice thick with emotion. "I can't deal with this right now."

"Manjirō, I understand that you're hurting," you said softly, trying to keep the compassion in your voice. "But this isn't healthy. You need to talk to someone about what's going on. I'm here for you, and I want to help."

He pulled away from your hands and turned away, his shoulders hunched in defeat. "I don't want to talk about it," he said, but you could hear the desperation in his voice.

"Okay," you said, taking a step back. "I won't push you. But just know that I'm here for you, whenever you're ready."

The silence that followed was heavy, and you could feel the weight of all the unsaid words hanging in the air. You just hoped that eventually, Mikey would find the strength to open up. But instead of answering your silent plea, he simply turned around and left you alone in the now-empty hallway.

You could hear his footsteps fading away until the sound of a lock turning indicated that he had isolated himself in his room—the room he used to sleep in before Shinichiro passed away. You guessed it was too hard for him to think of not only one, but two people who had left him to the invisible shackles called grief.

Mikey failed to understand why he just couldn’t let you in. But the male felt as if a wall had suddenly built up between the two of you, completely disregarding the fact that he was the reason behind it. Only blaming the circumstances.

You stood there for a while, surrounded by nothing but complete silence. Hues of [e/c] empty, not very different from the way Mikey’s abyssal ones had seemed to be after Emma had been pronounced dead. Slowly, you crouched down to put on your shoes and pull your coat over your shoulders before leaving the building—the building that you had once called your second home, filled with warmth, laughter, and life.

The cold autumn air hit your face painfully, the never ending streams of tears only adding to your current sensitivity. The warmth that seemed to follow them practically burned onto your skin. But you paid no mind to the pain, welcoming it even as it gave you at least some form of evidence that you were still alive, well and breathing.

Body shaking, your arms slowly wrapped around your waist, as quiet sobs began to leave your throat. You weren’t fully aware where your body was taking you, and somewhere in the back of your mind, you believed it was your deceased friend that was leading you to an unknown destination.

You've known Mikey since childhood, but even now, you can't shake the feeling that Emma has always understood him better than anyone else. Maybe you were deceiving yourself however, and the golden-haired beauty before you wasn’t really guiding you towards the answers you seek. Perhaps the soft, honeyed whispers in your ear were nothing but a figment of your imagination, like a distant waterfall in a wild, untamed place.

“You’re going to catch a cold like this, angel,” another soft whisper reached your ear, but this time you found yourself flinching at the unexpected warmth that had begun enveloping you. A faint blush coated your cheeks as you came face to face with none other than Kurokawa Izana.

Although you mumbled his name almost inaudibly, he still managed to hear it as if your voice were impossible to miss. Amidst the symphonies of the streets, the people, and nature itself, your voice seemed to come from a completely different dimension. Its sound carried across any distance and drowned out any noise, demanding attention.

It was only after a minute or so had passed that you noticed how close he was standing to you. His body pressed against you, slightly pinning you to the railing, and suddenly you became hyper-aware of your surroundings—the sound of moving water and the wind passing by your figure. You wondered, at what point had you reached the port?

“What’s gotten you so sad?” You closed your eyes, relishing in the softness that he was expressing as one of his hands cupped your cheek, thumb brushing away the remnants of tears that were present. You couldn’t help it. You just missed being cared for like this.

Mikey has been neglecting you for months, while Izana has been nothing but good to you. Although there were moments when he could be a bit aggressive in his approach, you didn't blame him. Perhaps he was just being impatient, as he wasn't used to being denied things.

You shook your head at his question, not wanting to go over the same conversation as the two of you have been doing for the past few months. Opening your eyes, as you felt him wrapping something around you—his scarf. It smelled nice, like freshly baked dangos. You figured he must have gone to the pastry shop earlier today.

You closed your eyes for a brief second, taking in the pleasing scent that was emitting from the thick and warm lilac fabric. The scent was just plain Izana. At what exact point you weren’t sure, but somehow it had become your new sense of comfort. Your new sense of home.

But then you furrowed your eyebrows and looked up at him, gaze filled with worry. “Aren’t you going to get a cold now?” The male smirked, letting out a low, seductive chuckle as warm puffs of air barely grazed your face.

Suddenly his face was almost touching yours, an unfamiliar predatory glint hidden within the orchids that were his eyes. You weren’t certain, but there was something dark and unsettling in his expression. Strangely enough, however, you didn’t feel threatened by it. More like excited, as you felt how some unusual bubbly feeling began to swarm inside your stomach.

Before you did something you would later regret, you carefully placed your hands against his chest as you gently pushed him off of you. Reality slowly catching up, forcing a heavy feeling to settle within your bones, completely replacing the previously elated one.

Noticing the abrupt shift in your emotions, the platinum blonde felt his left eye twitch in annoyance. Letting out an exasperated sigh, the male shot you a look while speaking, “You can’t wait for that idiot forever.”

He spoke matter-of-factly, his heavy gaze practically boring into yours, making you feel like a small, fragile animal led into a corner by the big bad wolf. You pursed your lips as you felt a lump form in your throat.

Guilt seemed like an endless cycle; once you fell into it, it was difficult to escape. You weren't certain how much responsibility you should feel for Izana's emotions or for Mikey's potential reaction when he discovers your inner turmoil. However, in both cases, you were aware that each person involved was equally at fault for whatever issues may soon arise in this—whatever this was.

Starting to feel impatient with your lack of response, the male leaned in, assessing your awareness, before suddenly crashing his lips onto yours. One arm snaking around your waist as the other cupped your rosy cheek. You didn’t react at first, far too shocked to understand what was happening. But as Izana’s lips began to softly rub against your own, your eyes slowly closed as your own hands took a harsh grasp of the fabric of his coat.

It felt like a sensual dance, where the predator had claimed dominance right from the beginning. Izana was kissing you feverishly, impatience noticeable in every caress and act that he made. Hands squeezing your hips gently, as he pushed you further against the railing. Tongue poking against your lips as a way to ask for permission to enter.

But before things could escalate, you pushed him off of you once again. Looking at him through half lidded eyes, you noticed how breathless he was and figured that you must have looked no better than him. Though, you doubted that the lovely shade of pink coating his cheeks looked as prettily on you as it did on him. A certain urge to tug him back for another kiss appeared, but you were quick to dismiss it.

“We—We shouldn’t be doing this Izana,” you spoke, feeling your blush deepen at the sultry look that he was giving you. “Ma—Manjirō needs me right now.” Tears were streaming down your face, but the male in front of you only seemed to become more bitter as you finished.

He huffed, before placing his fingers under your chin—just like he had done the first time you met—and tilted it upwards. Biting your bottom lip rather harshly, you felt yourself shrinking at the expression that he was making. It was somewhat crazed, not like the previous ones where he had been simply expressing his dissatisfaction.

You swallowed harshly, a whimper escaping your lips as your eyes closed shut. A brief moment of silence followed after, until you felt him withdraw his fingers from you before hearing him take a step backwards. This made you find the courage to peek out from your closed eyelids before opening them up fully.

The tanned male wasn’t standing in front of you anymore, but rather beside you. You peered at him carefully without making it too obvious and noticed that he wasn’t even paying attention to you. His gaze, instead, fixated on the sky, and you couldn’t help but admire him like this.

He looked truly mesmerizing to you. Platinum blonde hair flowing softly in sync with the cool breeze that was coming from the ocean. Hanafuda earrings dangling prettily, reflecting bits of the light that came from the sun.

Turning around to face the front, you began wondering what to do. But you didn’t get to ponder about it for too long, as the feeling of a pair of cold fingers suddenly touched your cheek. The caress was soft and caring, but it didn’t stop your body from tensing up as you stood completely frozen without any knowledge of how to react.

“I’m sorry, angel,” the male spoke, his voice growing a few octaves deeper. “But I can be quite an impatient man, especially when it comes to you.” You flushed at his words as the male gently guided you face closer to his.

“Zana…” A faint, barely audible call of the nickname that you would sometimes address him by, was the only word that you were able to produce in your current state. Even after all this time, still failing to understand, how this peculiar person always managed to leave you completely speechless.

Ever since that fateful day in the pastry shop where you first met, you realized that Kurokawa Izana was the personification of an oxymoron. The warm aura he exhibited was very inviting, radiating a certain softness that was rarely found in males. However, that didn't stop him from coming across as overly haughty and distant, seemingly impossible to approach.

And this time, it was no different. His voice, gentle and understanding, conveyed warmth and empathy. His fingers, though cold to the touch, felt soft as they traced circles on your chilled cheek. However, his eyes betrayed a different emotion, showing a calculated coolness that left you feeling conflicted.

“Think about it,” was all he said before leaving the port. Only the aroma of freshly baked dangos lingered in the air, a testament to his recent presence. You buried your face in the lilac fabric that Izana had draped over you, and a wave of nostalgia washed over you. A memory of your now-estranged boyfriend flooding your mind, filling your being with a kind of fussiness that caused a small smile to play on your cold, numb lips.

“Come on Manjirō, try something new for a change!” You whine, tugging at the blond’s sleeve childishly while sending him a pleading look. “We’ve been eating so much dorayaki and taiyaki recently that I’ve started having nightmares about them!” Mikey pouts at your insistence, but finds himself relenting as you are far too adorable to ignore.

You beam, feeling pleased with your accomplishment. Not too far away, you can hear your dearest friend—and perhaps older brother figure—Ryūguji Ken letting out a painful groan. This urges you to giggle as you are fully aware whose wallet will be left empty at the end of the day.

The dragon tattooed boy gives you a dirty look, knowing that whatever it is that you have in mind, will most definitely be more expensive than a few packages of your boyfriend’s favorite snacks. Mikey, however, lets out a laugh as he instantly recognizes the look on his tall friend’s face. Frankly, it is a look that screams agony.

It is a rather cold day in the month of December. The three of you are equally oblivious to the upcoming changes that will soon come in the span of a few months. You intertwine your hands, squeezing each other teasingly as you occasionally tug one another in the opposite direction, waiting to see who will be the first to lose balance.

Draken rolls his eyes in mock annoyance, but there is a barely noticeable lift at the corner of his mouth. You and Mikey, however, are too immersed within each other to take notice of the slight softness that can be spotted in the tattooed boy's dark eyes.

The snowflakes are dancing in the air, like an endless waltz. But unlike the two of you, each of them looks lonely, cold, breathtakingly beautiful, and yet pain strikingly lifeless. Like a small piece of something grandiose, however, still separated from the mass.

You walk over to Draken, your steps feeling light and weightless as you lightly jump with each one, the snow crunching softly beneath your feet. You send him the sweetest smile you can muster, but he narrows his eyes at you suspiciously, his exhaustion deepening with a sense of foreboding. You let out a snicker like the spawn of Satan that you are.

“Ken-chan,” you say in a sickeningly sweet tone. “I want some of those.” The male quirks an eyebrow, his gaze following the direction of your index finger as you speak. Sighing, he nods at you, but not without mouthing some very peculiar words that would probably make any mother give a look of disappointment.

“You just had to choose the most complicated dish on the menu?” His reply is snarky and biting as he mentally prepares himself for the next thirty minutes he’d probably have to wait before your order would finally be ready. It’s not the food in itself, just the awfully long queue that he now has no other choice but to wait through.

“Now, now, Ken-chin," your boyfriend says, crossing his arms as he shakes his head disapprovingly. “That's not how you're supposed to treat a girl.” The tall blond groans in frustration, struggling to hold back his urge to kill the Toman commander. Mikey, on the other hand, is sporting a cheshire grin, looking pretty much like the cat from Alice in Wonderland.

“Exactly, exactly,” you add, nodding your head in approval of his statement. “And you keep asking yourself why Emma doesn’t believe me when I tell her how much you like her.”

It takes a moment for Draken to finally register what you had said. However, before he has a chance to commit a double homicide, you feel someone’s fingers snake around your wrist. Seconds later you and your boyfriend are running down the streets, laughing like a pair of goofballs—which you probably are at this point.

Cold air brushes your face as you both continue the pointless war of tugging. At some point, you slip over the snow, making the both of you fall. Luckily, the river that Mikey loves visiting so much is completely frozen, saving you from a potential disaster. It's already too damn cold; you doubt you'll be able to survive walking wet around the city until you reach home.

You are rolling down the thick layers of pale, white snow. Mikey’s muscular arms are tightly wrapped around your waist, while yours find home around his neck. Snickers leaving your lips as you reach the frozen water.

You pull your face away from his chest, pools of [e/c] color meeting a pair of pitch-black eyes filled with childish glee. One of your hands trails up his neck before settling on his cold, pale cheek. There is a faint pink hue dusting them from the cold, biting air.

He’s smiling up at you. The expression is so contagious that you can’t help but mirror it with one yourself. His arms pull you slightly closer to him as your gaze fixates itself on his lips. His plush and pink lips that seem to be oh so kissable. You brush your own against his softly, before withdrawing from him slightly.

Before you have the chance to repeat the motion, Mikey quickly changes your position. You are now lying down on the cold, but surprisingly smooth surface. The blond leans in closer, so close that your noses are brushing and your hot breaths are mixing together. You bite your bottom lip in anticipation, feeling your heartbeat accelerate in response to how intensely he is looking at you.

However, instead of being met by a long and sensual kiss as you were expecting, only a light peck grazes your lips. A pregnant pause soon follows, and suddenly you are attacked by a dozen kisses. Giggles escape your lips as his thin nimble fingers run along your clothed body to tickle you. You gasp as you try to fill your lungs with much needed air, but Mikey is having none of it.

“W—Wait, Manji-,” you try to speak up as tears continuously stream down your cheeks from all the uncontrollable laughter. “Hmm? What was that?” The male teases, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips.

"Stah—stop!" You manage to choke out, sighing in relief as the male finally gets off of you. He lays himself beside you, his coal-black eyes filled with adoration, making you flush red. You love the way he gazes at you, his expression portraying nothing but pure bewitchment, looking absolutely smitten.

You lie like this for a while, the cold breeze pushing past the both of you. The temperature seems to have gone a few degrees lower, causing you to shiver. You start blowing into your palms, which you have cupped and placed in front of your face. It doesn’t help much, however, and you are about to ask Mikey if he wants to go back.

You sit up, but stop yourself from voicing your question as you feel something soft and fluffy wrap around your neck. Peering down, you are met by strikingly vibrant red. You didn’t even notice at what point your boyfriend had gotten up. A pair of ecstatic giggles escape your lips as the familiar sensation of long ash blonde strands soon fall over your shoulder.

Mikey is hugging you tightly from behind, face tucked into his red scarf that is now securely wrapped around your neck. Half lidded eyes peering up at you from the soft, ticklish fabric, blonde locks falling down his face, making it slightly obscured. He looks surprisingly snuggly like this, pliant even.

“Feeling warm now?” His voice is slightly muffled, but you still somehow manage to catch onto what he’s saying. A small smile grazes your lips at the thought of how cute he is right now. He arches an eyebrow at how suspicious you’re looking, but doesn’t question it further.

It takes a few more minutes until Mikey’s phone begins to ring. Draken’s gruff voice, appearing from the other side. There is a smile on your boyfriend’s face, as he tells you that Ken-chin was nice enough to still buy him some dorayaki. The aforementioned sounds annoyed, but you both are aware that it’s just an act and that he doesn’t actually mean it.

Then Mikey gets up and stretches his sore limbs before lending you his hand. When you reach out, your stomach rumbles, urging the both of you to giggle in sync. You hear some distant sounds of barking dogs and furrow your eyebrows as you don’t seem to find any nearby, despite how close the sounds are.

Mikey watches you with concern, his mouth moving, but his voice sounding too far away for you to understand. You close your eyes briefly and try to concentrate on his words, but they only become less coherent for you to understand.

Suddenly the noises around you became clearer, but it wasn’t his voice. It was the barks of the dogs that you could not find beforehand. It was the sound of rushing water coming from the ocean. It was the rustling leaves that had fallen on the ground, following the whims of the winds.

You swallowed thickly, a heavy feeling growing in the pit of your stomach. Eyes stinging as tears, once again, threatened to spill. This time, however, cheeks and lashes remained completely dry, as you refused to shed any more.

As the cool breeze flowed through the neighborhood, the streets seemed less busy than usual. They were quieter, despite it not being very early in the morning. It was no surprise, however, as it was the weekend and many people were still sleeping at this hour, preferring to stay in the comfort of their homes.

Despite the cold weather, signs of approaching spring could already be detected. The melting snow was a big indicator, though there was still much left from the now leaving winter. March was already hot on its tail, but it seemed like even this month would remain white for a while.

Your eyes squeezed shut as the bright sun greeted you. The white, transparent curtains hung lifelessly in front of the closed window, doing little to block the aggressive rays of sunshine that were penetrating your room. Right hand flying up to protect your vulnerable eyes from the blinding light as you rolled onto your other side.

Thin strands of platinum blonde were splayed across another pillow. You rubbed your eyes slightly, trying to rid yourself from the remnants of sleep that was still very much present. Pushing yourself up into a sitting position as the creamy bedsheets slid down your body, you concentrated your gaze on the person sleeping beside you. On the boy sleeping beside you.

Fuck.

You stared at his sleeping figure—at Izana’s sleeping figure. In that moment, he looked angelic, so peaceful and serene that it felt as if the outside world couldn't touch him. His thick, white lashes fell down so beautifully—appearing even whiter as they rested on his lovely sun-kissed skin. It was as if the fiery celestial body had worshiped him throughout his life.

As you trailed your left hand down your body, it eventually settled on your chest. It felt heavier than usual, nothing like the usual heaviness that had been stored inside you for the whole year. Burning up. You were burning up from the inside. As if somebody had forced you to swallow a tube of hot lava, which had later cooled down and solidified.

But it was only then that you realized the lack of clothes on your body. Your cheeks burned at the sudden realization, and you were quick to scramble out of bed to put some clothes on. Your body grew numb as you were not quite sure what you were supposed to feel. Events from the previous night flooded your mind as you gnawed on your bottom lip.

Doe-like hues are met by a pair of stormy orchids. The light from the hallway illuminates his face in such a way, it makes his tanned skin emit a golden glow. From your standpoint, the male almost resembles a god. The way his gaze seems to be looking down on you—height difference having no matter in this case—makes you look like a worshiper, ready to bow down on your knees before him.

Stepping inside your house, the male’s eyes never leave yours as he seems to be analyzing you. You, on the other hand, face the other way, unable to keep his steady gaze. Izana clicks his tongue at your defiance. His thin nimble fingers find their way to your jaw, tracing it tentatively. The platinum blond guides your face to meet his own, before keeping it in place.

“You’ve been avoiding me, my love,” it’s not a question, but a statement. Although his voice is soft, you can still hear the hidden demand beneath. Velvety smooth voice, only used as a mask to conceal the secret intent. In Izana’s eyes, you are a fragile doll, his to protect. And you are well aware of this fact.

Not wanting to dig deeper into the topic, you purse your lips into a small pout before you voice your complaint, “You didn’t have to send me a threatening message, Zana.” A childish lilt in your tone as you purposely widen your eyes to make them look more innocent.

The male scoffs before sending you a condescending smirk, indicating that he’s not buying your act in the slightest. “Nice try angel, but don’t even think for a second that trick’s ever gonna work on me.”

You laugh sheepishly at his words, not quite sure of how to respond. An awkward silence follows soon after where he seems to be studying you. Like some unidentified object he recently found.

Swallowing the ever so growing lump in your throat, a shiver runs down your spine. You suddenly become much more aware of the chilled air surrounding the both of you as the tension grows thicker by each passing second. It’s quite hard to pinpoint at what exact moment you had reached your bedroom, let alone began to undress.

His skin is hot against yours, despite how cold it must have been outside before you let him in. You let out a sigh of contentment as his soft, warm lips trace your overly sensitive skin. Each of his caresses, so prominent that you can’t help but feel overwhelmed from it all.

Things get rather blurry from then on, and rather than butterflies, a strong urge to vomit envelopes your senses. You feel hot, and there is something thick, throbbing, yet sensual, penetrating your core. The room is filled with moans, and you know that they are coming from you. But for some reason your brain fails to register this fact, the voice sounding much more foreign to your ears.

A buzzing sensation on the palm of your hand, pulled you out from your pondering. Eyelashes blinking before you automatically pressed the contact name that had suddenly appeared. You stared at it for a while, until the content of the message finally registered in your brain.

From: MyKey♥️🗝️

‘Let’s go on a date today.’

‘I guess you don't want to go on a date since you’re ignoring me🥺’

Read 9:34 AM

Shame spread through your veins, and suddenly you could feel yourself getting closer to throwing up as nausea began to hit you in powerful shock waves. You weren’t even given a chance to reply before you suddenly jolted out of your bedroom and sprung out in the hallway.

The second you entered the bathroom, you crouched down in front of the toilet. Your throat felt as if it was burning up, stomach churning in uncomfortable ways, yet nothing seemed to come out. Faint, barely noticeable waves began appearing in the water below, and you realized that you were crying.

How could you? Just as things finally seemed to take a better turn in your relationship, you go and do this? Fucking his goddam brother like some cheap whore.

You squeezed your teary eyes shut, salty droplets tickling down your cheeks as you bit your bottom lip harshly. Despite the growing pain, you couldn't stop yourself and felt compelled to continue. Some sick part of your mind, enjoying it even.

Stop crying, you little bitch. Ha! You think you deserve to feel self pity? A selfish slut like you? Look at you. It didn’t even take a minute before you willingly decided to spread your legs for him! As if it wasn’t you who had initiated the contact to begin with! Or did you forget all the times that you reached out to him yourself? God, you’re such a two faced sna—

“Darling, please stop hurting yourself like this,” you blinked, feeling yourself getting pulled away from the seemingly never ending loop of self hatred. Endless streams of tears still spilling, like a broken fountain. Everything was blurry, and despite your slightly disoriented state, you still managed to make out Izana’s voice.

His head was slightly tilted as he crouched down beside you. Eyes half-lidded, indicating that he must have just woken up from a deep slumber. You figured you must be the reason for it, with the way you had sped out of the room without any care for how much noise you were making.

But you weren’t concerned about that. The term of endearment that he used, echoing in your mind instead. You knew what he was doing. What he was always doing whenever he addressed you in such a way. And you hated how much it was affecting you.

“Izana, this has to stop,” you stated, looking at him with pleading eyes. “We just can’t continue on like this anymore.” As you felt even more ashamed due to the way your body was reacting to the close proximity between the two of you—hating how flustered he was making you feel. “Why can’t you understand that we're hurting Manjirō?”

As soon as his brother's name was mentioned, you noticed a shift in his eyes. They seemed to darken with emotion, but then he quickly looked down, causing a sense of dread to wash over you. His long platinum blonde hair hung lifelessly over his face, hiding his eyes from view. “That bastard took everything from me, it’s only fair I do the same.”

What?

“It's really pissing me off that I can't just kill him like everyone else,” he paused, tilting his head slightly upwards to regain eye contact with you. Despite the laziness behind the gesture, it still made you feel queasy. “But I know that it wouldn't be as satisfying as watching him crumble when he's got absolutely nothing left.”

“Izana…”

“[Name], I love you, I really do,” he spoke, voice barely above a whisper. The male cupped your cheek—damp from the tears that had been flowing non-stop—thumb caressing it softly as he pressed your foreheads together. “And I know that you feel the same way about me.”

“No,” you shook your head in denial as you refused to believe otherwise. The urge to vomit, increasing the more you were forced to stare into his intense gaze. “No Izana, I love Manjirō.”

Manjirō. You loved Manjirō. The sweet, but bratty, boy whom you’ve known since childhood. The boy who never shared his food with anyone but you. The boy whose name you would sometimes teasingly mispronounce as ‘MyKey’, which he didn’t understand at first, but later on grew flustered as you explained to him that he would always hold the ‘the key to your heart’.

You loved the way he would sometimes scrunch his nose up in irritation whenever things didn’t go the way he had wanted. You loved the way he would smile at you—those rare moments when he would keep his eyes open and a spark could be noticed if you watched closely. You loved especially the way he would always cling onto you like a koala after you had a sleepover together. You loved everything about him.

Mikey has always been your safe haven. He was your person and you were his. The zone of comfort in the empty space of dawn. The light that shone past any other. So how come each time you tried to imagine the color of love and comfort now, rather than pale gold and pitch-black, it became silverish white and a soft combination of flowery pink and purple?

The platinum blond sighed, and you swallowed hesitantly as he withdrew himself from you and stood up. He brushed his slender fingers through long silverish locks, as a look of frustration settled on his face. “Just accept it [Name],” he said. “Mikey has grown out of love with you, and it's clear that you've grown out of love with him too.”

“I-”

No. You shook your head, refusing to believe that he didn't love you anymore. There was no way he would do that to you, right? Manjirō wouldn't lie. Your boyfriend was no liar.

You know that he didn’t mean to hurt you. He was just protecting you. He didn’t want you to get entangled with his problems—with his dark impulses—so he pushed you away. That must be the truth. You know it’s the truth. It just couldn’t be any other way.

As you stood up, Izana took a step forward, backing you up against the white, polished wall. “I’m the one you love,” he said. Your lips trembled, and you weren't sure if it was out of fear or the overwhelming rush of emotions that threatened to explode inside you.

You didn’t like this. The way he was making you feel. It was overwhelming and imposing. Like somebody had penetrated your soul, forcefully leaving it completely naked and exposed.

“N—No, I want Manji-”

Izana was kissing you so aggressively, it almost made you think he couldn’t breathe without you. His movements were so frantic, you were afraid he’d completely lose it. You tried to speak up, but only some incoherent and muffled sounds could be heard. Broken exclamations of Manjirō’s name that always failed to never get interrupted.

“Man-!” A call of his name, but it went unanswered. The worst part, however, wasn't the absence of the person you wished would come; it was that you were enjoying what was happening. You loved it even, as you felt more alive than you had in a long time, just like every instance you had spent with Izana had always brought you.

Every move Izana made had a sense of desperation. They were frantic and needy, but there were also some signs of aggression, frustration and urgency that you took notice of. However, what shook you to the core were perhaps the hints of love, adoration, and possessiveness and obsession.

Your skin felt as if it had been set on fire. Cheeks flushing a deep shade of cherry red. Body twitching and fidgeting with extreme need. Breath turning erratic and irregular. Sounds of pleasure escaping your muffled lips as you felt something rubbing against your core.

Noticing your decreasing struggling the male stopped his frantic kissing, leaving your now swollen lips out in the open and went for your neck. Kissing and biting the entrancing skin, his right hand let go of yours as he felt your body finally relaxing under his touch. Your head resting against the cold wall, while his hands began tracing your warm and soft body.

Izana took a hold of the underside of your thighs and wrapped them around his waist. He detached his lips from your neck, pressing your foreheads together. Breaths unsteady and fanning over each other. Disheveled platinum blonde hair falling all over his face, yet it only seemed to make him look more attractive.

“Zana…” God, you sounded so needy. But he was making you feel so good and your body had become so sensitive, you believed you would die without his touch.

You blushed, reveling in the close proximity of your bodies. Izana closed his eyes, giving you a clothed thrust, which earned him a whimper coming out of your plush lips. He seemed to like that, because he repeated the motion.

“Trust me, he’ll never love you the way I do,” he groaned, voice coming out more guttural. The sound caused something to flip inside your stomach as you whined. Silenced by his lips as they found yours once again. The kiss was messy, but much more tender and calm—like a silent confession.

But then his words finally registered within your mind and streams of tears began to fall like a flood. Feeling a sudden wetness trailing down your cheeks, Izana pulled away, his touch gentle and caring. But his gaze held a different emotion. Something bitter, filled with disappointment and anger.

He carried you to your bedroom before practically throwing you onto the bed. You laid there, completely at his mercy as he crawled on top of you. But all you could think about was Manjirō. All the sweet moments that you had spent together, and what it had led to.

Izana was hovering above you, eyes blank, no emotion seeping through. Ripping of the shirt that you had put on, each action demanding and uncompromising. Kisses hungry and frantic, not leaving a centimeter of your exposed body untended. Dozens of hickies littering your skin, leaving a burning sensation on all the marked parts of your body.

You stared at the ceiling, moaning like a wounded animal. Izana’s touches were like a spell, experienced and calculated. No wonder—the male knew your body like the back of his hand.

“Please…” you mumbled, eyes welling up with more tears. You just couldn’t help it, confusion enveloping your senses completely as the feeling of vulnerability only seemed to intensify. God, what an awful human being you were.

Izana stared up at you, continuing his torturous ministrations. Not stopping, but never giving you enough either. “Please what?” The male asked.

You bucked your hips, chasing the fleeting feeling of pleasure that only seemed to appear occasionally, never remaining truly permanent. Izana was smirking down at you, a dark kind of amusement dancing within his orchid-like irises. As if he were enjoying the sight of your emotional breakdown—and perhaps he did.

Perhaps he thought you deserved it. After all, you caused him a lot of pain by constantly running back to him, only to dispose of him like some old toy once things started to look good in your relationship. You didn’t blame him. You couldn’t blame him.

Somewhere deep in your mind, you knew that you didn’t love Manjirō anymore. That you loved Izana. But you refused to admit it, believing that once you did, Mikey would hate you.

A shuddering breath escaped your lips as his long, elegant fingers traced your sensitive bud. Private parts twitching with neediness, slick pouring on the bed sheets nonstop. Desperation filling your veins as the male barely gave you the friction that you needed so much.

“…Please, Izana, I need you,” you begged, the lack of attention becoming borderline painful. The male only gave you one of his eerie smiles, nuzzling his handsome face against your throat before peppering it with small kisses and bites. Right hand leaving your exposed genitals and finding your inner thigh, squeezing the tender flesh sensually as he nipped on your delicious skin.

“Only if you finally admit my ownership over you, [Name],” a whimper escaped your mouth at his words. Lips forming into a pout as you tugged at his shirt, eyes pleading, practically begging for him to get rid of the thin, yet ever so present, barrier separating the both of you. An aching need to feel his skin pressing against yours.

“I’m yours,” you mumbled, “head to toe, all yours.”

Your heart stuttered as he eyed you suspiciously, not quite trusting your words. “What about your soul?”

A whine flew past your lips, [e/c] looking up at him pathetically. Hands twitching and tugging at the articles hiding his muscles. Body squirming on the bed as if you were in agony. Yet the male kept his eyes stoic, no ounce of remorse present as he continued to neglect your needs.

“Come on, angel, just say the word and I’ll give you what you so desperately crave for,” he spoke softly, words sounding empathic. You sniffled, eyes red and puffy from all the continuous crying. Hands shaking as you scrunched the fabric that was covering his chest harshly.

“Body and soul, too, Izana,” you croaked, and the male’s eyes seemed to darken as you finished. A dangerous glint soon appeared within them.

Izana licked the expanse of your neck, his long, pink tongue tracing the hot, burning skin hungrily. “Spread your legs for me, angel,” he whispered into your too sensitive ear, a lick and then a playful bite following soon after.

You did as told, exposing yourself completely for his predatory gaze to take in. Gasping as the cold air hit you harshly when Izana had pushed himself off of you. Throwing away his shirt somewhere on the floor before palming himself lazily. Gaze sultry and seductive, and you swallowed thickly at the sight of the awfully prominent outlines of his bulge on his black boxers.

He spread your legs even further apart, causing a dull ache to appear. Left hand stretched out to get a condom. Although he wasn't a fan of using them, he would never force you to do something you weren't comfortable with.

The male began stroking his shaft leisurely, groaning as he did so while watching your helpless figure before squeezing the tip of the condom and rolling it over the length of his erect penis. This was how he should always see you, sprawled on the bed, right beneath him. His to take however he pleased.

He positioned his cock near your awaiting hole, the tip teasing your entrance as he took some of your natural lubricant and poured it over his throbbing dick. Your lips parted as he suddenly pushed in, body tensing despite the amount of times that you had already done this together.

Izana squeezed his eyes shut, eyebrows scrunching in concentration as he didn’t want to cause you any pain. Your wet and warm walls pressed against him harshly, making it harder for him to keep a steady pace. It felt as if they were begging for him to cum right on the spot.

“Fuck, angel,” he groaned, muscles tight and rigid as he pushed in further. “You’ve been waiting for this, huh? Been waiting for your boyfriend’s brother to come and have his way with you.”

You moaned at that, breath caught in your throat as Izana pulled out slightly, only to give you a harsh mind blowing thrust. The change was too sudden. Shifting from slow, deep and loving, to harsh, fast and rapid.

Face red like a cherry, you felt as if a volcano was about to explode from within. Eyes rolling and tongue lolling out at the brutality of his thrusts. Pace unforgiving, as his thick and long dick that had already reached any possible hidden corner of your insides, was now stretching you out so much, you were afraid they would tear.

Your mind felt dizzy, only sounds of gibberish being heard as you were unable to even moan with the force of his thrusts. Words coming incoherent and probably even illogical, he doubted that they were even meant to be proper sentences.

Skin burning, and breathing erratic as the tip of his large cock continuously hit that oh so sensitive spot inside you. Shivers of ecstasy running down your spine and you could feel your body begin to shake in sync with the impending orgasm. The look on your face, so delicious, Izana was starting to lose himself.

You were just so pretty like this. Brains completely fucked out, unable to produce any thoughts. He was using you like a fleshlight, drilling his big fat cock further inside with each hit, kissing your precious spot every single time. The repeated sounds of Zana, Zana, Zana, escaping your lips like a never ending mantra, only adding fuel to his endless hunger for more.

Then you screamed. Walls tightened around his length even more as you squirted all over him. The sound you made, so erotic to his ears, his body started convulsing intensely as he finally reached his own climax.

Breathing heavily, Izana gazed down at your unconscious form as you had probably fainted from the intensity of your activity, eyes filled with adoration and endless pinning for you. He shifted your naked bodies so that you would lay in a more comfortable position, his softening dick slipping out of you as he did so.

Throwing the spent condom into the trash can, he then proceeded with wrapping his arms around your sleeping form. Then he kissed the back of your head, a sense of victory filling his senses as you unconsciously made yourself more comfortable in the safety of his embrace. An eerie smile tugging at his lips as he watched you silently.

It wouldn't matter if you came to regret what happened this morning once you woke up. In the end, your regret would be insignificant because his hold on you would be absolute. Izana would ensure that you remained his regardless—he would make sure of it.

@maehemthemisfit

279 notes · View notes

honorstripped · 4 years ago

Text

STARTER CALL.

verses are here until i get my google doc done.

#YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN 【 FILE: OOC 】#unless a verse is requested i'm going with iki

5 notes · View notes

mechanicsgoddess-blog · 6 years ago

Text

kicks down the door.

#❝ YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN ⟨ OOC ⟩

3 notes · View notes

solchosen-blog · 6 years ago

Text

tag drop !

#❝ DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT ⟨ IC ⟩#❝ DANCING WITH THE SUN IN HER HEART 〈 ABOUT 〉#❝ DO GOOD RECKLESSLY 〈 MUSINGS 〉#❝ YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN 〈 OOC 〉#❝ THE DARKNESS CALLS TO EVEN THE BRIGHTEST OF US 〈 SECRETS 〉

1 note · View note

chosentitan · 6 years ago

Text

starter call !

#❝ YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN 〈 OOC 〉

4 notes · View notes

thanatophobiic-blog · 6 years ago

Text

ive been on ikora for a full month and my poor multi’s been ignored but sometimes u just gotta

u just gotta love the fuck outta one (1) vanguard

#( ☕ | YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN : OOC )

3 notes · View notes

wcrthtelling-blog · 6 years ago

Text

starter call !

#❝ YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN ❞ ▷ OOC #probably lyric based but who knows

5 notes · View notes

alalkomeneis · 7 years ago

Text

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS

#( 🔋 | YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN : OOC )#do not reblog #owl //#IM SC REA MING

12 notes · View notes

rozcdust · 3 years ago

Text

Blame it on me

Pairing: Hanma Shuji x f!reader (platonic)

Genre: Angst with cracky elements

Word count: 1k

Warnings: Canon divergent, ooc, profanity, drug abuse, violence, panic attack, talk about abuse, shitty parents, reader is a terrible person

When you were kids, Hakkai hated you.

He only met you a handful of times, more often than not catching mere glances of your form being led to Taiju’s room by Kokonoi or Inui, rarely ever looking back to catch his eye.

You never once exited the house black and red, never once had a bruise that wasn’t there already, never once seemed disheveled with a bleeding nose and fear in your eyes when you looked up at Taiju’s towering form.

Hakkai hated you.

He hated you with a burning, ugly passion that ate at him little by little every fucking time he saw your small, pathetic form scurrying around his house, a passion he would have felt guilty for if he wasn’t too busy sitting down in terror, watching his sister get beaten.

He hated you so much.

There was a sickening pleasure in opening the doors to his house that one day, and watching your hopeful, naive face twist into one of pure desperation when he told you Taiju left and is never coming back.

You ran off, clearly containing tears within your eyes as he slammed the door, chuckling.

Yuzuha stared at him, disapprovingly, but said nothing as she passed him by on her way to the kitchen, commenting nothing on his childish cruelty.

Because somewhere inside him, deep down yet just on the surface, there was a curled up child grieving the loss of his mother while getting kicked around by someone who should have protected him, and Hakkai couldn’t understand, couldn’t even begin to wrap his head around what you had that he lacked.

Somewhere inside him, deep down, he wanted Taiju to love him, and watching Taiju so clearly be kind to you and yet hate him, he couldn’t fathom how your poor, shivering form was more worthy than him.

He had to wonder, why not him?

Why was it never him?

What was wrong with him and Yuzuha? What was so detrimentally, crookedly awry in them that Taiju looked at them with such burning hatred, yet ran to you every time you as much as let out a whimper?

What was it about you that made monsters love you?

He asked Yuzuha about it once, just a couple of days after Taiju left, and looking at him with emotionless, numb eyes, Yuzuha smiled sadly.

“We were a burden forced upon him. She is a responsibility he wanted to have.”

In the years without Taiju, he has almost forgotten you, almost forgotten about that little girl stalking the rooms of his house, and when he met you in that club, he didn’t recognise you, he didn’t recognise your apathetic, exhausted face in comparison to that innocent, stupid little child.

So he grew to love you.

You were unpleasant, bitter and angry and convinced you’re undeserving of love, but Hakkai knew how to spot a facade, and he didn’t let him deter him.

Much like Mitsuya, you worried him, your clear affinity for self-destruction making his stomach twist with dread, making him lose sleep knowing he may text you one day and find your obituary in the papers as the only response he’ll ever get.

He had no problems embracing you with kindness, gently pushing and coaxing you to eat more, drink less, spend more time with them, gently trying to force you into getting better.

So when you frantically banged on Mitsuya’s and his doors that one night, at too early hours of the morning, shivering and shaking with your makeup running down your face and eyes red from crying, of course they took you in, of course they wrapped you in blankets in an attempt to warm you up and trying to talk to you in an attempt to calm you down.

Nothing seemed to work, you were obviously drunk, and you were sitting there on their couch, taking in shallow, panicky breaths as you sobbed about Shi leaving.

Hakkai knew who Shi was, of course he did, Mitsuya told him everything, and you mentioned Shi many times in the passing.

It made Hakkai’s ribcage feel just a bit too tight every time he remembered you were living with that monster, but you insisted that he was a good man, that he was kind, that you were the problem.

And yet here you are.

“Y/n, please take in deep breaths for me,” Mitsuya was crouching in front of you, gently holding your bruised hands in his, “You need to calm down, you’ll feel better, okay?”

“I don’t want to feel better,” You practically screamed in between choked out sobs, “I want Shi! I need Shi!”

“I understand, but you can’t, he, clearly doesn-“

“I NEED TO SEE HIM AGAIN! HE IS MY FRIEND! HE IS MY ONLY FRIEND! I HAVE NOBODY ELSE! PLEASE?! Please…”

“Is there anyone else we can ca-“

“NO! I NEED SHI! I NEED SHI! I NEED SHI! I need Shi…” Your voice trailed off as you lost air, starting to hyperventilate even more, and Mitsuya looked at Hakkai, eyes wide and begging for a solution, begging for a fix.

But Hakkai couldn’t help, he didn’t know what to do, you were inconsolable, starting to babble in a broken voice about Hanma again.

“Hakkai, find her phone, see if there are any emergency contacts we can call.” Mitsuya asked, keeping his voice calm, as to not frighten you, and Hakkai nodded without a word, finding the white jacket they barely managed to convince you to let go out of your arms.

Hakkai’s face twisted with disgust at the sight of the Vallhalla jacket, but he ignored it for your sake, digging around the pockets, managing to find your phone, and thanking God it wasn’t password-protected, he nodded in Mitsuya’s direction.

Going straight into contacts with a sense of dread pooling in his stomach, he let out a breath of relief to find two emergency contacts stored, one reading Shi, and the other reading Tai.

He didn’t even think about pressing the call button, didn’t even think about that familiar name, and bringing the phone up to his ear, impatiently chewing on his bottom lip, he prayed the person on the other end of the line will answer.

They picked up.

“Hello?”

Hakkai’s blood ran cold.

🔖Taglist (open):

@1818cigarettes @dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @rinsie @kisekihany @missarabellla @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @emilywaters @m0rrax @levistiddies @bxnten @spookygeto @graythecoffeebean @yukihime-mikeys-girl @mukounisuru-gashadokuro @sunahyejin @crybabylisa @yamaguccitadashi @minoozi @gigibobigi @trashmemebitch @frogtits1 @sup-zfam @whydohumansss @xashiui @bontens-whore @nqctre @bontenacious @lumi-does-some-stuff @hana-patata @hxked @sh4nn @sisnot @r3pr0duce @adeptiixiao @siriuspisces @bubs-world @makimakimi @namisblkgf @aces-high @syddisheep @haikyuu-simps-assemble @wakasagurl @reapersimps @nana-phobia

#tokyorev #tokyo revengers #hanma x y/n #hanma x reader #mitsuya takashi #hakkai shiba #hakkai angst

195 notes · View notes

sweetflowcr-blog · 7 years ago

Text

hi can we talk about the fact that the evil within makes a point to show ruvik's dad as abusive and the entirely wrong way to be a dad and the evil within 2 shows that sebastian would risk everything for his little girl like can we talk about this

#( 🐻 | YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN : OOC )

9 notes · View notes

turquoisea · 3 years ago

Text

Family reunion

Pairing: Dabi/ Fem!Reader

Warnings: Kidnapping, Dub-con, Degradation, Brother/Sister Incest, Manipulation, Guilt-tripping, OOC, Smut

Contains manga spoilers. Minors DNI.

Words: 4130

Synopsis: You was kidnapped while on your way home from work. Turned out your kidnapper was someone you knew.

A/N: I don't own any of the characters. Please read the warnings before continuing and we're gonna jump straight to the scene after (y/n) had been kidnapped (because i was too lazy to write the former part OTL)

==============

Unable to escape from the kidnapper’s tight rope around your wrists, you helplessly let him carry you to somewhere that looked like an abandoned building. Not like you could exactly tell where it was, given the fact that your eyes had been covered ever since he captured you until you two “arrived” at the destination. Either had you been able to scream or to call for help, “If you decide to be a naughty little girl and make a fuss, or to even let a single person know about this and hinder my work, I can and I will burn your whole workplace while letting your watch every single second of it.” – the kidnapper had threatened, making panic surged within your body; the only thing you could blurt out to answer his “Is that clear?” was a simple “Yes.” Not wanting to involve any of your aquaintances, you decided to keep your mouth shut the entire time. You thought that it was a better idea to wait until you could learn about what he wanted, his motives behind this before trying to escape.

He placed you down on the floor after carrying you into a small room with the action being a little too gentle for a kidnapper, you thought and opened your eyes only to be met with a pair of turquoise gazes, slightly hidden behind his spiky black hair. Those reminded you of Shouto’s left eye color but they had a rather.. captivating effect, making you unable to tear your eyes off them. More like Touya’s eyes – the recollection passing your mind was quickly brushed off, given the harsh reality that Touya has been dead for more than 10 years. You cautiously opened your mouth to ask, still keeping eye contact.

"What do you want?"

“…What do I want?” He repeated the question before slowly taking off his black face mask. The way he did it was deliberate, elegant even, as if he was putting on a show to reveal what’s hidden behind the mask. In front of you was an abnormal façade: Purple skin lied under his eye bags, his lower cheeks and lower lip, all the way down to his collarbone; connected together with the normal parts of the skin by surgical staples. An audible gasp escaped your throat the moment you realized that the man who abducted you was the wanted criminal you saw on TV.

“League of Villains.. You’re.. You’re Dabi…”

“Dabi? Ah yes, people call me that now. But I thought you would recognize me now, you’re my family after all..” He trailed off at the end, as though he was rather hurt by your comment.

“Family? Stop joking now, we don’t even know each other!”

“You sure? Even when you used to call me Touya-nii with that sweet voice of yours?”

“I said stop!! Listen, I have no idea why you know about Touya but he’s not alive anymore, don’t bring him into this!” Your shaking voice resounded with rage. In the past few years you’d partly moved on from your brother’s death, even learned how to stop tearing up whenever someone mentions him. To say you was mad was an understatement, since the kidnapper crossed the line, pulled out those emotions that you’d tried so hard to hide them away. You couldn’t stay calm anymore. This villain and the audacity to even mention Touya, let alone making such an unbearable joke about him.

“(y/n)-chan,” The way he called your name was too familiar “you still have the habit of defending me after all this time.”

“Wh..What.. do you mean?”

“Don’t you remember? You were always there to patch me up every time I went out training on my own. Those nights that distress and hatred consumed me, you were the only one who was willing to give me a shoulder to cry on, to hear me rant about that stupid family. You were the only one who didn’t refuse to look at a “failure” like me while our father focused all his attention on that “masterpiece”. You made me feel like I’m not useless, (y/n)-chan. Sure you haven’t forgotten, right?”

“You’re.. lying.. Touya-nii is..”

“Yes, yes. Everybody thought so.” He interrupted. “But I escaped from the fire and as you can see,” He raised his hand to touch the staples. “I’m still here. If I’d died in that fire, I would have become a ghost, an evil spirit to haunt the hell out of Todoroki Enji.” The explanation ended with a snort.

But not for you, you couldn’t possibly laugh about it the way he did. You were nothing but speechless. The big brother you once thought wasn’t here, could never be here with you anymore was still alive and kicking. Thoughts of how Touya had managed to live since that day started to emerge your mind and probably because of the invisible connection, the blood connection between you two, you could feel his pain, his suffering, the dull ache that never go away in every single staple on his body… It must’ve been hard for a thirteen-year-old child to manage by himself after crawling out of a literal hell, you thought, mouth still agaped with astonishment. Tears neither stopped welling up, nor did they escape your shiny orbs when you looked at him through your blurry vision. You had so many questions to ask, but none of them could be voiced.

“But that’s the story for another day. Now, we have to celebrate the happy reunion of brother and sister, right?” He interrupted your thoughts before slowly approaching you. His tall body hovered over yours, enhancing the feeling of being small and helpless as your hands still being tied behind your back. He gripped your jaw with one hand, the other started to work on the buttons of your shirt while Touya’s slightly chapped lips met your own in a kiss that was soft at first but quickly turned passionate, sloppy with his tongue chasing every corner of your mouth.

“Touya..nii..” You panted between his kisses, trying your best to stop him from doing what you think he was trying to do. “We shouldn’t.. You shouldn’t do this.. We’re siblings..”

“Ah yes, you’re my favorite sibling after all, one more reason why we should do this, right?” His stapled mouth stretched into a huge grin, then he leaned back to take in the view of your body.

“My little sister has grown up.. To be honest, I didn’t have any of these dirty thoughts when we were children but now, I just want to fucking ravish you until all you can think of is me and my cock.”

His dirty talk sent a shiver thorough your body and you started to feel heat coiling up in your core. As if amused, turned on by your reaction, Touya grabbed one of your breasts and gave it a squeeze, causing a soft moan to escape your pump lips.

“What was that? Don’t tell me (y/n)-chan is aroused by her very own brother, hm? I’ve been stalking you for a while, my little sister. ‘Twas hard to find you since you don’t live at that house anymore. Can’t believe behind all those innocent act is a little whore who gets aroused easily by her Touya-nii.” He spat out, specifically emphasized the phrase you used to call him. Blue eyes looking down at you as if you were indeed what he said �� a slut waiting to be bred.

“Touya-nii.. Please stop it.. I don’t want this..” Looking up at him through your wet lashes, you said with a whimper, begging him to stop.

Little did you know it had no such effect for Touya. Seeing your vulnerable face in a helpless state only boosted his ego; he felt as if he was the only one you could rely on, the only one who was able to decide your fate and damn, he could never get bored of this.

“What a pity, (y/n)-chan, because I, in fact, DO want this.” Touya murmured between kisses, leaving red spots blossoming all over your breasts, your shoulders, your collarbone. “Don’t you want to make your Touya-nii happy (y/n)-chan? You see, there hadn’t been a single day in which these staples stopped hurting me whenever I move. My tear glands were burned ever since the fire. I couldn’t cry because when I do, it hurts and blood flows out of my eye bags.” His fingers indicated the purple skin underneath his eyes as he continued. “I've lived with emotional numbness ever since. Your big brother doesn't feel anything anymore, (y/n)-chan..” Touya trailed off.

“But you, the only one who didn’t refuse to look at me... Having you here with me really makes me happy, and the kind little sister I know wouldn’t want to take that happiness away from me right?..” Turquoise orbs looked up at you through black strands of hair. As if wavering, as if pleading, as if he was asking you for your consent.

All to hide the fact that he guilt-tripped you into this.

And with him being a quick-witted, perceptive man, Touya’s tactics were never fruitless. He could tell your conscience would be troubled if you’d turned him down, especially when he phrased the words like that. He took advantage of the shocking state you were in, making you feel pity for him and overlook his immoral behaviours.

Touya waited with bated breath, eye contact still maintained.

“I..I want Touya-nii to be happy..” – your reply after a moment of thinking only caused a chuckle to escape his mouth and it’s almost like this was all he had been waiting for, all in his anticipation. This was the exact reaction that Touya wanted and as your best big brother ever, he couldn’t possibly put off anymore without his hands as your bra, nor could he wait any longer to secure this “happiness”.

“Knew my favorite sister would say that.” Touya couldn’t hide his triumphant expression when he quickly made his way down to your skirt, lifting it up so he could see what’s underneath. Gently, he palmed your groin before dragging his middle finger between your clothed slit only to find that your panties was already soaked.

“Oh? I already knew you were a whore behind your innocent façade but didn’t think you would be this shameless.. Tch.” He clicked his tongue. “Getting all nice and wet for your own brother. You said you wanted to make me happy but in truth, you just need to feel nii-san’s cock inside your hole right? Shameless slut.”

You groaned in exasperation and opened your mouth to protest but before you could even say anything, he ripped your white panties apart, making you squirm in awe. The rough pad of his thumb dragged over your clit while his knees spread your legs wide and held them in places. Touya’s finger slowly rubbed your clit in a circular motion and you couldn’t help but wanting more of those frictions, your hips involuntarily bucked forward.

“I was going to eat my favorite little sister out, but it seems like you can’t wait any longer huh? Look at this little pussy..” He said while using his index and middle finger to swipe at your entrance, gathering your juices on them, his eyes didn’t miss the way it clenched around nothing. “You must be so, so desperate to feel anything inside your pathetic hole, right? Will my fingers be enough to satisfy it?”

“Touya-nii..”

“Don’t be vague, (y/n)-chan. Sure you don’t want to hump a pillow like a dumb slut with her hands still tied while watching me masturbate to the sight of you right? Because if you don’t use your words now, I might let us do that for real.”

“Please, Touya-nii, I don’t want to! I want.. to be filled up by you instead..”

Upon hearing your words, Touya started palming the large bulge of his pants before unzipping the fermeture, gently pulled his boxer down to show you what’s underneath. Your eyes widened at the sight of Touya’s veiny cock. It was not as big as what you usually see on movies (not that you don’t know the porn industry isn’t anywhere near realistic), but rather thin and long as it was hard, practically throbbing in his palm whenever he stroked the shaft. However, what made you surprise was the shiny Prince Albert piercing located on the glans, signaling a hard time in the near future for your cervix.

Seeing your face expression only made Touya’s smirk grew wider and he looked like the cat that got the cream when he continued making you use more of your words, making you beg for his cock.

“And you want to be filled by what?”

As hesitant as you were after seeing his cock piercing, the way his fingers ignited sparkles of fire inside your core had your pride, your uncertainty wavering. You’d rather be fucked until your mouth can’t even form a coherent sentence than be left naked and needy while watching him masturbates until he cums anywhere that’s not inside your pussy. So you used your words, like a good girl should.

“By your cock, Touya-nii! I want you to fuck me hard!”

“Sure thing, my cute little slut.” He cooed. “Who am I to refuse to give my sister what she needs? I’m a good brother after all.”

And as a “good” brother he was, Touya even slide his fingers inside your wet pussy to prepare you for his cock. Despite having a fire quirk like your father, his fingers were cold and were only warmed up by the heat inside your core. They smoothly pumped into you, scissored you open, sometimes even curled up on purpose only to slightly brush against your soft spot, leaving you wanting more. His other hand found its way again on your clit, rubbing and circling along with his continuous fingering until you were nothing but a moaning mess, begging for your release.

He decided that he’d prepared you enough and retreat his fingers just before you could reach your climax. You whimpered loudly when he took the orgasm away from you, legs instantly wrapped around his hips to pull him closer. You had never felt this touch-starved before and all you could think of was only your Touya-nii, his captivating blue gazes, his touch, his voice and his pierced cock that somehow fits perfectly on his slim but toned body. You needed to feel him and you clumsily rubbed your pussy against Touya while trying to break free from the ropes tying your wrists together. But all that you could do wasn’t near enough so you looked up at him with pleading eyes.

“Touya-nii.. Please.. Please give me your cock.. I can’t take it anymore, I need your cock inside me..”

“Fine, since you asked so nicely.” Touya sneered as if he wasn’t the one who purposefully denied your orgasm before holding his cock, rubbing the swollen red tip at your entrance, feeling your juices mixing with beads of his precum then thrusted it all the way in. You both winced the moment you and your brother became one: you from the depth that his cock could go and him from the way your walls clenched around it.

“(y/n)-chan.. Your little pussy feels so tight.. Not that I mind how many people you slept with but damn.. This pussy's a keeper for sure..” Sighing with a shaky voice, he pulled out slowly only to slam back in ruthlessly. His hands used the dagger from before to release your aching wrists then started to rub small circles on them as if to soothe the pain. With your hands now free from bound, you wrapped them around Touya’s neck to pull him even closer, your lips moved under his to meet them in a kiss.

"Touya-nii.. Please move.." After a moment long enough for your pussy to stretch to his size, you broke from the passionate kiss to whisper to him; your tongue softly licked his lower lip, feeling the rough texture while your pussy clenched around his cock. You lifted your hips, inviting your big brother to bury his hot member deeper into you.

"Eager, aren't we?" To your plea, he only chuckled before moving his hand to grab a handful of your tits, squeezing the soft mound, toying with your swollen nipple. "Your wish is my command, my baby sister. Nii-san's going to make you feel really good now." His voice sounded so sensual when he moved his mouth close to your ear, whispered honeyed-words then nibbled at your earlobe, causing you to clench your pussy even more.

Touya's hands traveled down to grab both of your asscheeks, held them tightly in their places before he started thrusting his pulsing cock. "So good.. Touya-nii.." You moaned in rhythm with his hips whenever he bottomed out inside you; his cock piercing rubbed your walls every time he moved. The friction felt heavenly that you could feel your legs started to shake as if you couldn't control them anymore. He was different. His cock was different from anything you'd ever experienced. Touya filled you up so well, both physically and emotionally, making you feel good, feel loved, making tears well up in your eyes.

He let your legs rest on his shoulders as he continued claiming your pussy to himself, each thrust was hard and deep 'til the point that Touya's tip touched your cervix whenever he sheathed his full length in you. It hurt, but it hurt so good that not only did you not want it to stop, you wanted more and more of him, you wanted to indulge longer in this sinful pleasure.

"Fuck.. You're so tight around me.." He groaned as his pace became faster. A hand retreated from under you to hover above your neglected clit before he started stroking it softly, rubbing back and forth, drawing repeated circles onto your bundle of nerves.

Touya didn't leave anywhere on your body untouched: your tits, your belly, your inner thighs, your asscheeks, your clit, your core. His name fell out of your lips between heated moans like prayers and the pleasure kept building up that you felt like you're about to burst into bliss. Everything was so intense and you started to you wonder, is it because he denied your orgasm before or because his cock could actually bring you heaven? Those thoughts crossed your mind but you didn't know the answer. He'd fucked you dumb and now you couldn't think of anything else other than him and the tension deepening in your lower belly.

"Touya-nii.. 'M wanna cum.. Please.. Please let me cum.." You whined when you felt like you couldn't take it anymore, afraid that he would deny it again if you don't beg.

"Cum on my cock baby, let me feel you. And you should be.. Fuck.. grateful that I let you do it.." He didn't stop his assault on your clit as he railed you hard and fast, his thrust grew sloppier when your pussy clamped down on him. Wet noises echoed in the abandoned building along with your whines and the moans that Touya tried to hold back.

"Thank you.. Thank you Touya-nii.. for letting me cum.." was all you managed to choke out before you threw your head back, eyes squeezed shut causing tears of pleasure to fall out and your pussy clenched around him as you released your pent-up pressure.

"Attagirl, nii-san loves you.. Gonna officially mark you now, 'mkay? Gonna breed this little sister's pussy, gonna fill you up with my cum and put a baby in you.." Touya leaned over to whisper into your open mouth, planting chaste kisses all over your face while sloppily humping your body like an animal. You could feel him burry himself deep inside you when his brows furrowed and he muttered "Fuck" before Touya came inside your pussy. His thick ropes were hot as they spilled into your womb, painting your walls with his colour.

A moment passed with nothing but pants as you both tried to regain your breaths. You closed your eyes, basking in the afterglow with his cock still plugged in when you heard the clicking sound of a camera. Your eyes immediately shot open only to find Touya holding his phone in hand.

"Touya-nii.. Did you just.." You warily asked.

"Oh? Did I forget to tell you?" Touya casually looked up from his phone, a smirk tugged at the corner of his stapled mouth and he suddenly looked so strange, as if the person in front of you and the one who just came inside you was two different people.

"You see, there are two possible ways to completely break Todoroki Enji." He began explaining, his voice distant. "One, is to kill his masterpiece Shouto right in front of him by the own hands of his 'failure'."

"And two," His eyes locked with you as his smirk grew wider. "is to let him see his pure little angel being corrupted by the abandoned son." Touya finished his short speech, his hips pulled back so his now limp cock fell out of you with a wet pop. White cum slowly dripped out of your used pussy, all captured by the camera again.

You could see the flame of anger burning in his eyes when he mentioned your father's name and the tone of disgust in his voice when he spoke lowly of himself. There were so many problems that you didn't know where to begin with. All you could do was hang your mouth open, speechlessly watched him typing something on the phone.

"There, all done." Touya cheerfully informed. "Don't worry a thing, my baby sister, no one will get to keep those pictures except for me. I sent them to the old man using Vanish Mode, he'll see them for a few seconds before they disappear forever, just like how his little angel vanish from his life. Oh how I wish I could see his expression when he opens my messages."

You were absolutely stunned. You never thought your dead brother was able to come out alive, let alone to even have a detailed plan to destroy your father's mentality. There were so many things that your mind couldn't process in an instant.

"So you.. So you fucked me just for this?.." Your voice came out shakier than you expected. Your hands unconsciously moved to cover yourself as you hugged your own body, the world starting to crumble in your eyes.

"Partly, yes. But I wasn't lying when I said I love you." Touya planted a soft kiss on your forehead.

"E-Enough with all of this. I'm going home!" You raised your voice and wriggled out of his touch.

"Can't let you do that (y/n)-chan. The world doesn't know me as Touya, you're the first, the honorable one. Can't risk you leaking my secret right? And I plan to torture old man's mind repeatedly with more images of you, just like how he projected everything onto me when I was young." He tilted his head and laughed, and suddenly you couldn't tell whether his laughter was genuine or was an act of mockery. Probably both.

"Besides, I'm a little.. disappointed that my favorite sister actually wants to part so, so soon, especially when we just had a rather.. emotional family reunion, no?" His mood seemed to light up as he continued speaking.

"What.. do you mean by that? Just let me go already! I promise I won't tell anyone!" Tears started to form in your eyes as you slowly realized what the man meant. You were uncomfortable with the room's atmosphere; it's overwhelming you and you didn't want to stay any longer. You looked behind him, trying to figure out an escape path.

"Now, if you wanted to go so badly," - your actions couldn't escape his perceptive eyes - "I'm gonna escort you to a better place, 'mkay? They're gonna track down this place soon enough since I texted him with my phone. But don't you worry, nii-san won't let anyone hurt you, my (y/n)."

Touya had an almost-innocent smile when he approached you with his arms open, as if waiting for you to give him a hug. You backed away, but as stubborn as this Capricorn man was, he still wrapped his arms around you.

Ever since your childhood, Touya's body was warm, Touya's embrace was always comforting. But now, everything he did chilled you to the bone, making you start to shake uncontrollably. Suddenly you felt a sharp prick on your skin; followed by your consciousness slowly slipping away. Your vision started to grow blurry and all you heard before you drifted off was his voice, whispering to your ear.

"Now we won't be alone anymore."

The End.

A/N 2: I hope you enjoyed it! English isn't my first language so please be gentle with me QwQ. Thanks for reading!

#my hero academia #my hero fanfic #boku no hero fic #boku no hero academia #dabi x you #dabi x reader #todoroki touya #todoroki touya x reader #mha #bnha #when i was writing this i was like what is the synonym for d!ck #💀✋🏻#pls breed me touya-nii #i love this man #grr grr arf arf

177 notes · View notes

circumference-pie · 2 years ago

Note

for the pining prompts: mei changsu/xiao jingyan, 6 | wei wuxian/jiang cheng, 5 | yezun/shen wei, 8 (but like. if yezun had killed shen wei himself??? for your consideration)

romantic or platonic are both fine, where's the line anyways!!

reciprocated for all of them, please :)

Yessss! I took such a long-ass time with this one (2 months QAQ), thank you for waiting.

8 is

Jumping universes to find living version of dead love

(I interpreted the word "jumping" very loosely, lol.)

Relationship: Shen Wei & Yezun Rating: T for some violence Tags: violence, drama-typical logic, OOC Shen Wei but for good reasons

Summary: “Human, Yashou, Dixingren…all full of trickery, betrayal, forsaking…This world is filthy! So I’ll remake it, from the highest of the high to the lowest of the low.”

Yezun gets his wish.

Wordcount: 1700 Thanks to Karios (ao3: Karios) for the beta-read.

= = = = =

Alive…he’s alive. Shen Wei’s trick…

The floor of the Dixing palace swims into his vision, tiled stone. Someone is moaning softly in the distance. Yezun makes an effort, and the crumpled form of Zhao Yunlan comes into blurry focus, limp on the ground from their last fight.

“Shen Wei…”

At first Yezun thinks it’s himself, breathing out his brother’s name. Then he realizes the voice is not his, and it’s whispering a name he’s never used.

“Shen Wei…”

He forgets his wounds, forgets he’s almost dead, forgets everything in sheer blank rage. He forgets there are holes in him, leaking pitch and smoke, as he struggles to his feet.

Zhao Yunlan is the first to go, in a miasma of black mist. His cronies next, the throne room itself, then the palace and everything around it. Yezun’s power balloons with every being he absorbs; Dixing can no longer contain him.

Above, Longcheng is crumbling, buckling inward, and Yezun takes special pleasure in swallowing 4 Guangming Street before sucking in the entire disintegrating city, then the continent, then the planet.

He floats in the emptiness, himself, in the stark light of the nearest star. He is all-powerful, burning from within with potential. Some poor Dixingren must have had the power to fabricate matter from nothing, and now Yezun makes sparks and globules trail from his fingertips. Experimentally, he sketches a sphere, a miniature of the planet he just devoured.

Unbidden, Zhao Yunlan’s voice surfaces in his memory. You only know how to destroy out of hatred, not to nurture new things in hope. History will never look kindly on the likes of you.

Yezun’s smile spasms. “You’re wrong, Zhao Yunlan!”

He sweeps his arm toward the planet, and it grows, filling his vision. It suddenly teems with oceans and mountains, lakes and deserts, cities, humans, Yashou. Below the surface, the caverns of Dixing are also there, and crawling with Dixingren.

This is a world where orphans are never abandoned, brothers never separate, and betrayal is impossible.

It’s his world. A perfect one.

Yezun looks around. One more thing…

The man at his side stares straight ahead.

They are twins, after all, identical except for the color of their hair, down to the bones of their little toes. He hadn’t needed a body to recreate Shen Wei.

He holds out a hand. “Big brother. Come.”

Shen Wei takes it obediently.

Yezun takes them to Dixing. Except in this Dixing, there is light. Denizens go about their business under a glow as full as the sun’s, the clatter of carts and babble of a market all clamoring under a bright ceiling.

In front of the palace, in the warping heat from the rivers of molten rock, Yezun waves a hand upward. “Dixing. All in the light, like you wanted when we were children. See? I did this for you.”

Shen Wei turns his head to look at Yezun. His lips tilt up briefly into a smile, before his face returns to a flat, expressionless plane.

The earth around them trembles once. The light above dims briefly.

“What do you think?” Yezun asks, softly, dangerously.

“I think…” says the recreated Shen Wei. “I think…” He smiles again at Yezun. “I think…”

“WHAT?” Yezun nearly screams at him.

Shen Wei only keeps smiling, unaware that Dixing is shaking, the molten rivers are heaving, people are screaming, that his own body is cracking apart.

This time Dixing is as dark as new-moon nights aboveground. There is no indeterminate gloaming, no dim twilight to navigate by. The only visibility comes from smoky lamps and hearthfires flickering in windows, and the only sounds are the forlorn footsteps of the city watch.

“It’s beautiful,” says Shen Wei. He’s dressed this time in his human costume, crisp shirt and mint jacket, his hair cropped short.

“Is it,” says Yezun flatly, standing next to him in his own white suit.

By the flickering light of a nearby lantern, the look Shen Wei gives Yezun through his long lashes is happy and tender, something Yezun once saw directed at Zhao Yunlan, before.

Bile rises in his throat, sharp and bitter. Malice curls fingers over his heart. “Let’s go,” he says, taking Shen Wei by the arm.

Surprise glints in the depths of his brother’s eyes. “Where?”

“The surface.”

It’s night in Longcheng, the city sleeping under stars and between electric streetlamps. The bright coin of the moon is out. They stroll down cobbled avenues and past darkened storefronts, their steps clicking into the silence. When they come to what should have been Guangming Street, there is nothing. No shops, no fruit sellers, no boxy brick building. Just a curb where there should have been an intersection, and an empty lot beyond.

“Oh,” says Yezun softly. “My mistake. Your friends don’t exist, none of them. They never have and never will.”

Shen Wei inclines his head. “Little brother is very wise.”

Yezun whirls on him. “Wise? Yes! More than all of you, more than Ma Gui, more than Zhao Yunlan, more than you!”

Shen Wei blinks at him uncertainly.

“WHY?” Yezun roars, seizing his collar. His spittle lands on Shen Wei's cheek. “Why did you give so much to THEM?”

“I…don’t know. Who?”

Yezun thrusts his hand out, and Shen Wei dissolves into black smoke as the ball of dark energy hits him.

This world is Dixing, only Dixing. Yezun has only created the palace this time. Shen Wei lies in the center of the throne room, his torso bare, bound by his wrists and ankles to heavy chains that stretch to the corners of the room. The only other people are a man dressed from head to toe in black, and Yezun in his white robes.

“I’ll kill you all,” Shen Wei spits, jerking viciously on his chains, the chamber echoing with the sound of metal. “Let me go! I’ll show you!”

Yezun nods, gratified. Crying and raging. Yes. This is what he wants.

“I’ll kill you!” Shen Wei bellows at Yezun.

Hatred sears immediately through Yezun, as if his words have struck a switch. He raises his hand.

“START!” he shouts, and the man in black raises the chain-whip in his hand, brings it down on the prisoner’s back.

Shen Wei’s screams are very satisfying.

A new universe, another one, another, another!

It’s not working, he can’t do it, it keeps going wrong!

At last, there is nothing. Yezun floats in a void. His eyelashes are rimed with frost, his body stiff and frozen. His mind will evaporate soon, too.

Brother…

His brother will never stand by his side again. They will never get the childhood they deserved, the future they wanted.

Here.

Yezun opens his eyes to find himself in a bubble of air and warmth. “Little brother,” Shen Wei’s voice says, and then he’s there too, in the embroidered black robes Yezun last saw him in ten thousand years ago, raven braids drifting behind him.

“You left me.” Yezun’s voice is a thin, accusing whine. “That day.”

Shen Wei — the facsimile, simulacrum, figment — smiles sadly. “So that’s why you hate me so.”

“Shouldn’t I?”

“Watch.”

Suddenly the cold of space is gone, and Yezun is surrounded by the parching heat of a Haixing summer, the sun beating overhead. He’d forgotten. He’d forgotten how the insects buzzed in the dry grass that day, how the dust made him cough, how the sky seemed to be so white that it scorched.

He watches two boys, one in white and one in black, struggle on in the wide wasteland. He watches a bandit approach them and the boy in white faint. He can’t contain a cry of indignation when the bandit hurls the boy in black, kicking and struggling, off the ridge. He sees Shen Wei survive, sees himself being carried away.

He watches Shen Wei search for years and years, until he joins the war.

When the vision fades, Yezun is weeping, his tears separating from the corners of his eyes in floating silver droplets. “You didn’t abandon me,” he whispers. “You wanted me with you all along.”

Shen Wei reaches out to clasp Yezun’s shoulder. His hand is solid. Real. “How could I abandon you? You were the one person I loved.”

Yezun sniffs. “It’s too late. It can’t go back to the way it was.”

“Silly.” Shen Wei points at Yezun’s belly. “Everything’s still in there, isn’t it? Let them out.”

He’s right. Yezun can feel them in him, all the people and buildings and animals and oceans, eager to go back to their rightful places.

But there’s one more thing. “You’ll be there, too?” he asks pettily, jealously, already dreading the answer.

“I…I’ve already left the world. It’s not right for me to go back.”

“Then I’m not doing it.”

“But…” Shen Wei’s voice grows quiet and fills with longing. “I want to.”

Yezun understands, and scoffs with all the strength of his wounded spite. “And who is he to you?”

Shen Wei takes both of Yezun’s hands in his, warm and calloused from millennia of wielding the glaive, reassuring. “You will always be my brother, no matter what. Don’t be afraid. I'm not going to leave you.”

Yezun’s eyes narrow. Can’t he erase just one person?

“I promise.”

Yezun closes his eyes for a moment before breathing out, long and sustained.

Everything the same as it was.

Zhao Yunlan is even more annoying than Yezun thought he’d be. Always hanging around Shen Wei, always demanding his attention, both arrogant and childish. Yezun didn’t realize he could hate another person with as much concentrated ire as he does now.

Which is why, when Shen Wei extracts himself from Zhao Yunlan’s lanky, clinging limbs to join Yezun at the doorstep of the Special Investigation Division, Yezun smirks triumphantly at the SID chief sprawled on the couch.

“I promised we’d go to the zoo today,” Shen Wei says over his shoulder, to Zhao Yunlan’s last whining protest.

“Then bring me back a—”

Yezun slams the big doors closed.

“So?” he says brightly to Shen Wei, whose face is full of consternation. “Shall we get going?”

#guardian #shen wei #yezun #circ makes words #镇魂 #zhen hun #will go up on ao3 as soon as i think of a title haha

4 notes · View notes

honorstripped · 4 years ago

Text

okay i had to drive home but i am here now and can make those starters!!

#YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN 【 FILE: OOC 】

0 notes

mechanicsgoddess-blog · 6 years ago

Text

am i making an agent burns?

uh yes.

#❝ YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE HATRED THAT BURNS WITHIN ⟨ OOC ⟩

4 notes · View notes

bookquotes-20 · 4 years ago

Text

Broken Chord

Fandom: Folk of the Air

Pairing: Jurdan

Rating: 13+

Warning: Slightly OOC but tons of angsty fluff ;)

For as long as she could remember, all that mattered to Jude Duarte was power. The thought had been forged into her mind, hammered by the innumerable hours of training with Madoc where her only task was to find the advantage. Figure out how to gain the power in the situation, and take it. Take it without mercy, without hesitation. Power was all that mattered in the twisted world she could not stop her heart from calling home. She had spent her whole life without it. People dangled it in front of her, taunting her with displays of superiority she so deeply yearned to return them. Each night, as sleep pulled her under, her final thought would be of revenge. Some day, she’d tell herself, some day I would be the one to hold it all in the palm of my hands. She didn’t know how, she didn’t know when. But she could dream, and dream she would. Dream of fantastical circumstances that turned the wooden sword in her hand to steel sharp enough to gnaw through bone, stain her hilt with rich gold and her blade with deep crimson, worthy of respect. Worthy of admiration. Worthy of fear.

She had it all today. Even if only person knew it. The Puppetmaster. The Kingmaker. The Queen, as the Court of Shadows had taken to calling her. Now, there were days the name felt like a knife twisting in her stomach.

Every day she reveled in the bliss, in the thrum of adrenaline that raced in her veins at her newfound importance. She faced each day with her head high, with a grace and ease that should not have come so easily to a mortal amid regal faeries.

But it was as each day neared its end, that her father’s words would ring in her ears.

Power is far easier to acquire than it is to hold onto.

A lesson best learned by experience, she had seen. She loved her role, her work, her importance. But the sigh she heaved as she entered her chambers when all was done, was a stark reminder of who she was, she truly was. Because at the end of the day, she was still a mortal amongst Fae.

Her breaths come heavier and a dull ache settles into her limbs as she closes the door behind her. Another day, another battle. Hearing days were the most tedious. For hours she stood by the King’s side as folk across the land came to him seeking counsel, mercy, or favors. The benevolent king, of course, simply sat upon his throne with an expression of boredom and a glass of wine in his hands. It was Jude who listened to each word that fell from their lips in search of any trickery or deception they may be trying to place on the king or his kingdom. For hours, her mind raced through infinite possibilities of deceptive intent behind their words, and her fatigue was tangible. Her head pounds furiously and her shoulder slouches. Sluggishly, she makes her way to the modest armoire she had allowed within her room. On autopilot, her hands reach in to pull out a billowy night shirt and comfortable pants. Unfastening Nightfell from its spot at her hip, she places the blade in the corner of the armoire delicately. She has just finished throwing on the her night shirt when she hears a soft knock at her door.

At such a late hour, the number of people who would come to her was short. Had it been the King’s guards or her Court of Shadows the knock would have been of urgency. She opens the door with a sigh, only slightly surprised to see the High King standing at her door.

“What do you want, Cardan?”

She expects to see the same bored boy she had spent the day standing beside, not a man with muscles pulled taut and anger shining in his eyes.

“I hear there was a Counsel meeting today.” His voice is calm, controlled in a way that spells danger. Jude raises an eyebrow.

“And this is of importance to you because?”

“Oh really, Jude,” he drawls, “you weren’t even going to tell me about all the important decisions you made today?” His eyes narrow. “Decisions involving me.”

“I make decisions involving you every day, I don’t see what makes this any different.” Yes she did. The decision she had made today was unlike any she’d made before. Well, with the exception of one. One that had disastrous consequences for her heart and self-control. Cardan moves at her with blinding speed, pinning her between himself and the wall.

“Cut the nonsense, Jude,” he snarls. “You know full well why this is different. You decided to just marry me off. To Nicasia.”

She swallowed. The words felt just as heavy in her ears as they did in her throat when she forced them out in front of the Counsel.

“Yes.” It’s the only word she can come up with. His hand slams against her the wall inches from her head.

“Why?” he growls. She knows he’s restraining himself but she can’t bring herself to care. She’s tired and just wants the day to be over. She wants to be done with this, if only just for a few hours.

“Because it’s the best move for the kingdom.” His eyes darken. He’s not pleased with that answer. “We’re treading dangerous waters between the attack on the Court of Termites and Orlagh’s anger with Elfhame. We can’t find a war on two fronts. We both know that Nicasia has wanted to be your queen for years. She could placate her mother and the alliance would strengthen our image amongst the other courts.” She works hard to force the words out of her mouth. “A union between the land and the sea is not easily ignored, it could quiet all the dissent and doubt amid the lower courts.”

“You forget one thing,” his voice is low as his face nears hers. His breath is hot against her skin. “I already have a queen.”

Anger ignites her blood, exhaustion forgotten for just a moment.

“Oh really?” her voice is as sharp as her blade, as is her accusation. “Says who?”

His eyes widen in surprise, and his grip on her loosens. “Jude-“

“To whom, am I your queen, Cardan?” She steps forward and he staggers back slightly. “To the entirety of the court, I am still your seneschal. You made sure of that when you laughed me into ridicule at the time of my exile.” It’s her that anger flares at him now. “So what did you expect me to say when the Counsel suggested a perfectly viable way of resolving our political troubles?”

“So you want this?” Accusation laces his words now. “This is what would make you happy?”

She hesitates. Tries to force out the word. Tries to say nothing would make her happier. When did lying to him become hard?

“Yes,” she says. Her voice betrays no emotion; it’s resolute.

“For once, Jude, stop lying.” His eyes close and his brows furrow in frustration. It seems her hesitation betrayed what her voice didn’t.

“What does it matter, Cardan?”

“It would hurt us both.” She ignores the implication of his words.

“So what?”

“Jude.” There’s a warning in his voice. She doesn’t care.

“It doesn’t matter Cardan.”

“Jude.”

“Just do it!”

“I CAN’T!” he roars. “I can’t.” He sounds broken. His eyes are pleading and desperate. “I wish so badly that I could.” He scoffs out a laugh void of humor. It’s a painful sound to hear. It’s a sound filled with pain. Filled with guilt and regret and hatred but laced with surrender. “I don’t know how you do it so easily, I truly do envy you for it. But even for the kingdom’s sake, for even your own sake, I can’t bring myself to purposely hurt you.”

She can’t ignore it anymore. His words. The meaning behind them. The chord between them that has been stretching tighter and tighter for far too long. Silence fills the room. She’s tired. She’s so tired. She’s tired under the heaviness of the armor she wears, the layers upon layers of metal that weigh on her bones. Her exhaustion coaxes a little more truth out of her. Words that would never have spilled from her lips otherwise.

“It’s not easy,” she whispers. She’s turned away from him now, knowing her throat would close if she were facing him. A stubborn tear drops from her eyes but she doesn’t dare wipe it away for fear that the arms she has wrapped around herself are the only thing holding her together. She imagines she’d collapse if they moved, crumble to the floor like a wooden puppet with all its strings cut.

“It’s never been easy to see you in pain. For the entirety of my exile, I spent the day planning countless ways to take your life. To make you pay for ripping me away from everything I loved, from my home. But every night, without fail, I’d wake up screaming from nightmares. I’d watch Madoc attack the palace and steal Oak away. I’d watch Taryn turn Vivi against me. Rob me of the only support I have left. I’d watch the Roach and the Bomb try to fight their way out of a fire and I’d never be able to save them. I’d watch the people I came closest to calling friends called out for me to save them while I could do nothing but watch them burn. And every single time, the last thing I’d see is you.” His breath hitches behind her, the only sound in the room other than the beating of their hearts. The room around them fades away as she loses herself in the macabre scene that had tormented her for months. “I’d watch Madoc drive a sword through your heart. I could never reach you fast enough to stop him, but I’d always be there in time to catch you as you fell. I’d always watch you bleed out in my arms. What you said always changed. Sometimes it would be the cruel words you used when we were kids. Sometimes you’d just repeat my exile sentence over and over and over again. While I sobbed and screamed and begged you not to leave me, you’d repeat over and over how you wanted me as far away from you as possible.” She turns to face him now. He looked haggard, eyes blown wide and breaths coming heavy. “Your pain has always been my worst nightmare. And I lived it every single day.”

His hand comes to the nape of her neck, cupping the back of her head. He tilts it forward and presses his forehead to hers. His eyes are closed, eyebrows furrowed as if in pain. She can feel his warm breath fan her cheeks.

“Forgive me,” he whispers so softly it's almost lost in the darkness. The request is genuine, she feels it in the way his body trembles faintly against hers. She lacks the strength to speak. She hesitates and can feel his body coil at her silence. She gives the slightest of nods, one he only registers through the touch of their heads. He exhales slowly, the tension seeps slowly out of his body. The hand at her neck softens and he takes a tiny step forward. He pulls her into him, his free hand wrapping around her back, pressing against her skin with nearly painful intensity. As if decreasing the distance between their bodies would decrease the distance between their hearts. Her arms wrap around his torso and she presses her cheek to his chest. Perhaps it will.

He tugs them onto the bed, still holding her against him. She listens to his heart under her cheek. The steady beat is a welcome reminder that the visions weren’t real. They weren’t real.

She repeats the words over and over again in an effort to convince herself. I don’t know if this is real. Or a dream, she thinks. I don’t care — if it’s a dream, I don’t want to wake up; if it’s real, I never want it to end. Her heart finally admits that, at least. Whether my head is brave enough to allow me to embrace the admission, I don’t know. She feels his lips press to her temple.

“You’re here,” he whispers against her skin. He’s trying to convince himself of the fact just as much as she is. “You’re here and I don’t want you to leave. Not again. Never again.” He sounds delirious, repeating the words with a fervor that surprises her. She looks up at him and the sincerity in his eyes takes her breath away. She knows he cannot lie, she knows the words he speaks must be the absolute truth for there is no room for twisting or deception. She sees his very soul in his eyes and is shocked to find no walls. No barriers keeping her out. He lay himself out bare before her, placed his heart in the palm of her heart. He couldn’t know what she would do with it. He did it regardless.

“You’re trusting me with an awful lot Cardan,” she whispered with a lowered gaze.

“I entrusted my heart to you long ago, Jude.” His voice is a low murmur. Her breath catches in her throat. “It seems you simply did not realize it.” He tilts her head up so she meets his eyes. “I trust you just as much right now as I did when I gave you the crown at what turned into my coronation.” The very words he used to fling at her as an accusation now spilled from his mouth with nothing but warmth and sincerity. “Just as much as the day I gave Taryn anything she asked thinking she was you. Just as much as the day I married you.” His thumb swiped away a tear that had strayed from her eye to her cheek. “I trust you with all that I am, Jude.” He smiled at her sadly. “It is up to you to do with it as you please.” She was silent as she kept her eyes fixed on his. She thinks that he must be wondering what she was searching for in the depths of his black orbs. She isn’t searching for him. In his eyes, she is searching herself. Her soul. When it came to Cardan, her head has always been at odds with her heart — she would never come to a decision with either of them. So, she searches for the one thing that could overpower both. Deep within that part of her that had been suppressed for most of her life, subdued by the harshness of her childhood, by the fear of emotion other than rage and pain, of thoughts other than power and vengeance. The visions from her nightmares flash before her. Her heart races and breath freezes and there is her answer. The very thought of life without him shuts down her lungs and the time she spent away from him was spent in crippling pain she hadn’t recovered from in the entirety of her exile.

She tightens her arms around him and presses her cheek to his heart again. “I missed you,” she whispers against his skin. She feels him freeze beneath the tangible weight of her words. “I missed you and I never want to have to again.” A droplet of moisture hits her hair. The air that was caught in his lungs releases slowly. She finally meets his gaze again.

His voice is strangled as he chokes out the word, “Stay.” She brushes her fingers against his cheekbone, wiping away the tear. The metal of her ring scrapes against his cheek. “Please, stay.”

She smiles. His heart skips a beat and he swears it is the most beautiful thing he has seen. “I will, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Forever,” he says before pulling her mouth to his. He kisses her like he never thought he would get to again. She feels months of yearning in the way his lips move against hers and she can’t help but respond in kind. Her fingers tangle in his soft curls as she pulls him impossibly closer and his arm crushes her to him. They pull apart only when air becomes absolutely necessary and even then he keeps his forehead pressed against hers.

“Jude Duarte,” he whispers, raising her hand and pressing it against his chest right above his heart. “I pledge my heart to you till my dying breath.” Tears prick her eyes again and for once she doesn’t feel ashamed in letting them fall. She brings his hand to her heart as well. He can feel the press of her ruby ring against his hand and his heart races. She’s still wearing it. He feels her heart pick up speed under his touch and it nearly undoes him.

“Cardan Greenbriar, my words may not carry the guarantee of honesty yours do. But I hope you can feel the truth in the beat of my heart when I say, I pledge to you my heart and soul till my dying breath.”

She brushes her lips over his, a feather soft touch. Not of want, not of need, but a promise. The promise of more.

Notes:

This is my first venture into Folk of the Air fanfic after reading so many insanely amazing ones on tumblr and AO3. It’s been a work in progress for weeks and I’m so excited to finally be able to share it!! Please do let me know what you think ❤️ I hope you enjoyed it!!

This takes place somewhere in an altered version of post Wicked King, where Jude comes back from her exile but only Cardan knows they got married and she’s the queen.

Also, a huge thank you to everyone who sent asks!! I’m working on multiple asks simultaneously so I’ll try to have them finished as soon as I can!

Please feel free to send in more, I love having new ideas to ponder and try to write. I’ll try my best to write them! (I really mostly write for Shatter Me and Folk of the Air).

Thank you lovelies ❤️

#jude duarte #cardan greenbriar #jude x cardan #jurdan #the folk of the air #the cruel prince #the wicked king #the queen of nothing #book quotes #booklr #booklover #love #books #fic #jurdan fic #fanfic #I love this ship so much #my beautiful babies

118 notes · View notes