#❛ —— the things i touch i always damage / ship inspo.

[kilyra]

Grounded

A/N: This is my first venture into the land of Star Wars fic, but the inspo just wouldn’t leave me alone, so here we are. EDIT: Part 2, “Still Grounded” can be found in the masterlist!

Although you two have become close, things get heated after a mission when Poe confronts you for disobeying his order. 

Warnings: Kinda bad language and flaring tempers . No spoilers but it takes place after The Last Jedi. I did do a bit of research so hopefully there’s nothing jarringly out of place!

If you want to be on my tag lists, (all or just a character) just let me know! (Credit for this amazing gif goes to @isaac-oscars​. Thank you SO much!)

As your X-wing gently kissed the ground, you could hardly wait to throw open the canopy but your fingers had turned into a fumbling mess. Your body hummed with the adrenaline that flooded your veins, and there wasn't a single part of you that wasn't shaking. Up until the smooth landing, you had kept it under control but...but landing at base changed everything. You were back home. And your mission was officially a success.

The warm but fresh air of Ajan Kill filled your lungs as you hopped out of the cockpit and scrambled to the ground. Your feet hardly seemed to touch the steps, you were just flying into the waiting hands of your fellow pilots who were already roughly patting your back and helmet.

“You did it! I can't believe it!”

“You're crazy! I wish I coulda seen the look on their faces when you raced through all their loading bays like that! Ha!”

“When those First Order bastards showed up, I thought we were done for sure.”

In the chorus of praise and marvelling, it was hard to tell who said what in the group crowding around you. You did notice one face that was missing though...Poe Dameron.

Looking back, you saw one of the ground crew extracting your droid from the back of the ship. “Hey! Hey, careful with him, alright? Everything we got from those guys is sitting in his data banks.”

She absently nodded but was suddenly using both hands to guide the unit to the ground.

Pulling your gloves off and tucking them under your arm, you pushed your helmet back off your head and scruffed your fingers over your hair. As exhilarating as it was to be in the thick of it, it was always nice to peel everything off and let the air dry the pooling sweat. Dropping the gloves in the helmet, you cradled it against your side as you chatted with your peers and waited for your droid.

If any of them knew you were about to face a world of trouble, they didn't breathe a word of it to you.

With your droid at your side and a few of the other pilots trailing behind, you made your way to the communications centre. No one knew exactly what information you had been sent to extract, but that team would know what to do with it. You were already inside when you heard it.

“Y/n!” Poe barked your name so sharply, you nearly jumped out of your flight suit as you turned towards his voice.

Your stomach dropped when you spotted him marching up from a side hall. Not only was the vein on the side of his neck pulsating so violently you could see it from where you stood, but the fury in his eyes was burning a hole right through you. Even his dark curls seemed to bounce with anger from every stomp. When he came closer, he growled, “Tactics room.”

“But I'm taking my droid to commun-”

“Now!”

He didn't even slow as he stormed past you and the others after shooting you a final, withering glare. Swallowing back your sentence, you blinked rapidly and looked down at your droid who was still and watching you. Looking from the droid to the others, your mouth dropped open but you couldn't form words.

“You'd better be following, L/n,” Poe added without glancing back to check.

There was a firm nudge on your arm as one of the pilots muttered under his breath. “I got this, just go.”

Numbly, you hurried to catch up, trying to ignore how your boots suddenly felt like they were lined with weights. The door was still open to the small meeting room as you sat down, but Poe circled back to slam it shut. Snapping your eyes closed, you failed to stop the flinch.

But you managed to keep your voice steady. “Commander, what's going on?”

Spinning back to face you, his eyebrows shot up as he tilted his head your direction. “Oh. So now I'm Commander?”

It was a trap.

You knew it was a trap but, as he stared expectantly at you for an answer, you had no idea how to get out of it. The wince was already on your face when you finally answered. "Yes?"

Nodding, he ran his tongue along the edge of his lip as he hummed an agreement. “Mhmm, great. And so what was I when I ordered you to abort?”

It was a bewildering slap in the face. Your fingers clenched the edge of the helmet in your lap as you forced yourself to stay seated. “Are you serious? That's what this is about? But I got the intel we've been after for weeks! I-”

“You're not answering the question. What was I on that mission, hmm? When I ordered you to abort?” The edges of his calm words vibrated as he paced at the front of the room, pressing his palm to his forehead before letting his arm drop.

“I was right there!”

“So were they!” Lurching forward, he shoved the chair at the head of the table, sending it crashing against the wall as it landed on its side.

Colour pulsated over your vision, and you had to speak over the rushing in your ears. He pulled the plug shortly after the First Order ships showed up and made it clear it wasn't a coincidence. Someone had either sold out the Resistance or gotten careless, but you had already made contact with the informant and were about to start the data transfer. Poe endlessly repeated himself to abort and get out, but you turned down your comm and finished. Apparently he didn't like that...

But dammit, you knew it had been the right thing to do.

“Yeah! They were! That was the risk we all knew we were taking. A risk, by the way, that the informant was taking too. I wasn't about to let all our efforts be in vain when I was already at the drop point.”

His eyes flashed at your defiance as he gripped the edge of the table. “And what good would it have done to download everything into your droid if you were shot down or captured trying to leave, huh? The smarter play, the play I wanted, was to misdirect and try again.”

It was all you could do to stop your eyes from rolling back. Instead, your insides knotted tightly. “Right, and how far back would that have set us? Assuming the informant resurfaced at all. I don't get what your problem is, everything worked out just fine.”

“Just fine? Your joy ride through all of their cargo bays was just fine?” The breathy tone tumbled from his lips as he pushed himself back from the table.

Before you could jump in, he continued his rant, gaining more heat with every word until he was yelling again. “Sure! Fine. And I'm sure people will be just thrilled to try and help us again. I mean, other than the damage you caused their base and the explosions from downed First Order ships giving chase, it was just fine! Never mind the fact that you could have - you should have - died from that stunt alone!”

This was getting ridiculous. You gripped your helmet tighter and steeled yourself against the creeping guilt.

“Maybe I would have crashed if I was anything less than a damn good pilot. But I am a damn...good...pilot,” you said through grit teeth.

“A damn good pilot that can't...no, that refuses to listen!”

“I was right there!”

“Yeah? Well, now you're grounded!” Poe shouted as leaned over the table, loudly pounding it with his gloved fist before shoving his finger your direction to drive the point home.

“What!?” Jumping to your feet and slamming your helmet down, your chair toppled behind you and crashed onto the floor.

Not even batting an eye at your outrage, he moved closer and continued with a raised voice. "Oh, you heard me. We can't afford to lose damn good pilots. Especially not to their own ego.”

Scoffing, you threw your hands up. “So you're grounding me? You're still losing a pilot!”

“Only until you learn to leave your comm on and listen to orders!” The vein in his neck looked ready to burst as his dark eyes bore into yours.

“This is bullshit! I saved the Resistance from weeks of trying to set up a new drop. Maybe from losing this intel altogether! I did good today and you damn well know it!” Heat flooded your face as you shouted. It was all you could do to stop yourself from flying across the table at him.

“And you could have died!”

Smashing your helmet into the table, you pressed on. “You're always coming down on me, but if Ello or Nien had been in my place, they would have done the exact same thing! You telling me you'd ground them too?”

“No.”

“Why n-”

“Because I don't love them!”

Poe froze at his own words, staring at you with wide eyes before shifting his gaze to the side. His chest heaved as he sharply exhaled. “I-I...don't...”

For a moment, the rush in your ears won and all you could hear was your own heartbeat hammering away. All those times...all those moments in the conferences as you hatched plans or the cantina when everyone was relaxing, but you seemed to just stay focused on each other. The laughter, the lingering stares, the way it was just so much easier to talk to him than anyone else at base...it was all real. He felt the connection as strongly as you did, even though neither of you dared to voice it.

And, instead of those feelings coming out in a sweet moment to cherish...they came out in a heated, twisted mess.

“Y-you don't love...them...” You echoed.

Rubbing his hand along the stubble of his chin, he chewed his bottom lip as he looked back at you. His eyes were glued to yours, but he stayed silent.

Your heart fluttered at his stare, but your stomach rolled as a quiet anger continued to needle you. “So you don't....love...them. And...and so I get punished for that? You have feelings and I get punished? How...how is that fair?”

Sighing, he ran his fingers up into his thick curls, giving them a soft tug before resting his hand on the back of his neck. His free hand went to his hip, pushing his jacket back as the fight visibly drained from his body. Soon, his gaze shifted to the floor, although his eyes didn't stay still. He was utterly lost in deep concentration, clearly sifting through his racing thoughts.

The silence stretched out for several moments before he huffed another sigh through his nose. “It's not.”

His soft statement was enough to stop your attack, but frustration still thrummed through your body as you waited for him to at least take your punishment back.

Swallowing heavily, Poe scanned over the room before his gaze settled on the door. Your hands balled into fists. He wouldn't dare...

His eyes quickly darted back to yours before snapping back to the exit. “I have to go.”

Before you could protest, he was out of the room in just a few long strides. Dumbfounded, you stared out the open door, too stunned to call after him.

A growl ripped from your throat as you grabbed your helmet with both hands and smashed it into the table.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

As you lifted the helmet, you saw a small dent in the table's metal surface. Letting out a frustrated grunt, you threw it as hard as you could across the room, dumping your gloves on the floor as it crashed against the chair Poe had turned over.

Grabbing a chair that was still on its feet, you shifted and sank into it as you cupped your head in your propped hands. It was impossible to tear one feeling from another as everything swirled into a muddled mess inside your chest. There was only one thing you knew for sure.

You were grounded.

Taglist:  @foreverfaeries​  @flower-two​  @getlostinyourparadise​   @selfishkiddo​  @angelicshinigami​  @parkersbabey​

[hamdontlook]

No thoughts head empty

Pepe:

- he doesn't like being alone and that's part of why he shares the house with Bob and they are always together (they are best friends but like.. Pepe doesn't have much "me" time because if he spends days without being with someone it affects his mind a Lot. He needs to learn to be alone basically- but that doesn't mean he needs to remove that part of him. Jefa is super good for him because they are kinda free spirited and kinda just appears when they feel like it but since they enjoy being with Pepe it happens a Lot). At first Jefa thought he was just clingy but slowly they realize what's up- tho they found cute at the begging that part of him, being so social.

- after some time he stops smoking so much in front of them so they don't catch second hand smoking even though Jefa tells him it's okay, they don't mind but still he worries about their health (i mean this is just being a nice person towards other human being but being so insistent about not damaging the other person just because you choose to smoke and stuff that's cool)

- he asks Bob (he's a photographer and I haven't shown this part of him yet AJDJKDD someday when I'm not so focused on these two), well, he asks him to take a sneaky pic of him and Jefa someday because he would like to have A Nice Pic Of Them For No Reason™

- when they are relaxing and napping (Jefa Big time Napper) Pepe can't rly fall asleep so he starts realizing the freckles they have and start counting them or even paint on them. This ends up in the situation that Pepe just happens to stare at Jefa while they sleep

- he starts feeling insecure because he doesn't get the reason why Jefa keeps appearing and hanging out with him besides smooching (like after Let's Call It Adult Smooching ™) and he doesn't think he's that great and doesn't realize Jefa actually cares about him. This ends up making the situation of him being more cold towards them because he's a poopy head who doesn't TALK or COMMUNICATE i stg

- after sorting out that whole thing up there, Pepe confronts Feelings™ slowly and when hes upset he does this thing where he just hugs them from behind and puts his face on the shoulder trying to cry (this sounds dramatic af but it's not that deep lmao sometimes you just need to Try To Cry because ur heart is constipated). When this happens it's not that often so it always catches Jefa off guard and they are like "hhhhh hug💜" (ay dios ay dios mIo)

Jefa

- when people ask Pepe if he's not cold Jefa is like "he's from the north of course he's not cold lmao" but they will always carry a jacket or scarf or gloves for him (LOVE LANGUAGE YALL)

- they make these sculptures and stuff for Pepe (there was a whole comic going on explaining this) and when they see something cool that Pepe might like, they take a photo and have like an "inspo" folder to try to make it later for Pepe

- they want to brush Pepe's hair and touch his head but doesn't know how to tell him without making it weird so they end up doing like a joke or something to end up having their hands on his head sjsj

- they are EMBARRASSED about the fact that they like Pepe (when they FINALLY realize because this takes a Long While™ way longer than Pepe). This is actually shitty from them because they happen to not have taken him seriously after a while of slowly knowing him but it's always been like "pfft this is just some stupid dude nothing to worry about" and well He's this whole person with lots of undiscovered strengths who happens to have a different way of thinking and stuff (besides him Actually being a dummy let's face it) but like yonoe. Afterwards Jefa is embarrassed to have thought so poorly of him like he doesn't deserve that either

- Jefa has a huge breakdown one day and Pepe is like dw ill take you somewhere and they take the bus in a 1 hour trip and end up in a ?? Field?? Idk the word rn and I'm not switching apps to check it out but basically a place full of trash and he's like "ok, break stuff" and they are like "do you break stuff when you are sad or something?" And he's like "what?? No. I take some cool stuff from here for my house but you look like you would want to beat the shit out of something". So this is probably not a Good coping mechanism but idk I think it's interesting for them to have this convo and Pepe thinks of what could be good for Jefa in a situation of anger or sadness, not something he would do because they are so different. So yeah Jefa starts breaking stuff and Pepe is just like ":)" in the background searching for a new table akdbakdjd

- Jefa is so fucking annoying with series and tv shows to watch and they don't shut up about it and at first Pepe was "forced" to watch a few but later he starts watching any new thing Jefa gets into so they have something to talk about and because he's enjoys talking with them about these silly things (LOVE. LanguaGE.)

Both

- After a while, they get used to always sleeping and cuddling together so when they are sleeping alone they don't feel as comfy as they used to (not like it's not comfy but. Now hits different)

- sometimes when they are each of them on their own they happen to randomly think about the other person and wonder what they are up to or what are they doing right now

- both of them in the begging had crushes on different people (even if it's a Strong one or a silly one) and then they listened to songs about love and stuff they would think about their old crush. Welp now they find themselves thinking about each other and they don't know what to do with that sjbfkfnd (still they haven't noticed they have a thing for the other)

- when they Realize™ (each of them in a different rythm) they are SO scared of messing up their actual relationship or the development of those feelings because they dont want to fuck up what they have right now and want to play it safe. Also they would be so embarrassed about the others reaction

- Pepe teaches Jefa to accept their failures and failed projects because Jefa is obsessed with always being right or be Good at whatever they do because of fear of failure and insecurities and hipocresy and etc. Meanwhile, Jefa teaches Pepe that his emotions and feelings are important and bottling up is not a Good Thing. They also insist on Pepe to fight for his dreams and objectives (the pilot thing for example- maybe he doesn't end up being a pilot but he discovers he's good and likes to be in charge of the towers in the airport that gives directions to the planes or something, or even the dude with the lights)

- they start having inside jokes between them and showing themselves laugh more between each other and Bob and Rodney even notice and Rodney in specific since Jefa has been hiding from him all this is like "..wait hold on wait a damn second-"

- they start telling anecdotes and stories to Rodney and Bob (Rodney - Jefa ; Bob - Pepe) of each other. Bob just thinks they are partners (which they aren't yet) without saying a word which leads to misunderstandings and Rodney is like " dude. Ur crushing" and Jefa is like NO!!!! WHAT THE FUCK NO??!!

- one day they just start making out but it's all romantic and stuff and they don't know what to do with this because it's like a Different Setting- i feel like a teen writing all this stuff dbslsnfl my past 15 old self is like YeaaA finally I'm making some juicy oc shipping for myself. Anyways they end up cuddling and it's soft. And now I might be just sad about past relationships lmao let's move on

- when ordering food Pepe is So Fucking Slow because he reads EVERYTHING in the menu and I can't stress this enough EVERYTHING and Jefa being just A Nervous Being decides what to eat under a minute because if they don't they die. So this one day they are giving shit to Pepe saying JUST MAKE UP YOUR MIND ALREADY and when the waiter comes they tell Jefa the thing they want to order isn't available rn so Jefa just enters a panic state and orders anything random at the spot. The food arrives and Jefa's thing is Not Good and they ask Pepe if he can give them some of his food and he's like yea can u give me some of yours and idk this is just wholesome funni stuff I wanted to make a comic for but I guess I forgot and now I'm just translating this lmao

- they spend one night in jail I don't know how they just do maybe it's because of disturbance in public late at night we will never know. Anyways they make a scene in jail

-" IS it okay if I cuddle with u"... (They do) (one of them sneezes into the others back and fills their t shirt with the sneeze and the other is like EW WHAT THE FUCK)

- Jefa finds notes and books of pilot school stuff and asks Pepe about it. At first he wants to hide it but Jefa is High-key Annoying and he ends up telling them. They proceed to have an intense conversation. They joke about how Pepe doesn't qualify for the thing but he has extended knowledge about how planes work and what's needed (he did bad in the exams because of his insecurities getting in the way but he would have done great if he had faith in himself) and they later joke about how Jefa is just the opposite, people put too much pressure in them being good and stuff so they just said fuck it and only does stuff in their specific way alone or does nothing.

- they are hanging out really late at night inside the house and see that it starts snowing so they go out to play in the snow in their pajamas. Robin starts screaming that whoever is out there doing that much noise, to stop. They proceed to hide laughing about that whole thing a lot (tender moment. Tender). The next morning there's a bunch of snowman next to pepe's house and it's. Super cute aight..

- one day Rodney goes to Jefa's place and he opens their wardrobe because he's just like That™ trying to find something he gave to Jefa a while ago but ends up finding pepe's clothes which he recognizes (like a sweater or a t shirt) and when he asks them about it they are a super shitty liar not knowing what explanation to do and ends up saying "haha it's just a prank I hate him so I'm pranking him". And rodney, who is , not a dumbass is like "...ah..okay..."

[plaguecodea]

t.