#❏ 〔 DEFIANTEXSOLDIERS 〕 : Got a long way to go & a long memory. Been searching for an answer always just so out of reach.

[grieverled-moved]

➤ DYNAMIC HEADCANONS [ ; ] @defiant-ex-soldiers ( 1 / ∞ ) ©

I. AFFECTION . Between the two of them, Leon is more likely to initiate acts of affection & show his fondness with ease. Though he still struggles with it from time to time, especially when it does come to vocally expressing his inner feelings, he’s been getting better bit by bit through instead showing how he feels more physically ; reaching for Cloud’s hand or bumping shoulders, lingering close by when they’re both in Radiant Garden or Traverse Town at the same time. If nothing else — flustering the other swordsman is always well worth the initial awkwardness of getting out of his comfort zone to chase that remedy for his own still healing, touch-starved nature. The competitive, playful banter, familiar as it is, also helps a lot in giving him something solid to latch onto & focus on over the more mushy aspect of acknowledging he enjoys Cloud’s company. It’s all fun & games — at least until Cloud decides to retaliate.

II. QUIET COMMUNICATION . A lot can be passed through a simple, lone glance. Over the years & admittedly because they’re so alike at times it’s scary, Leon got very good at reading Cloud without needing to ask, at simply being able to know just whatever smart remark or observation is lingering in his thoughts well before he decides to voice them. It is knowledge that contributes to his comfort with him over all, knowing that for all his skill in knowing the blonde well enough, it’s a thing that’s also returned in full. Enough that when they are paired together for missions, the silence is usually comfortably communicated.

When it does come to the rare chance of conflict through miscommunication, they are quick to redirect their attentions into finding the source & focusing their efforts on the issue directly. They’ve been been around & through far too much to dance around something they can just as easily fix. Especially when it comes to something like a friendship / relationship they hold close. Bonds are rare, hard to come by for them & comfortably cultivate, so at least on Leon’s end, he’s still rather blunt when it comes to confronting issues head on, but it does come from a good place where he wants them both to be on the same page, together, to move on & grow.

III. CONFLICT & COMMUNICATION . This is a direct continuation from the last headcanon, but with being able to eachother clearly, that does admittedly stem from how similar they are.

With that in mind, a lot of how they choose to help one another without directly voicing things, usually boils down to applying what works best for them to the other party, or just offering silent support & company to weather the worst of what stresses plague them. Sure, they do still have hiccups every now & then where what normally works just doesn’t in a moment because the issue is an intense one.

( Usually something that is incredibly important to either of them. Something touchy & heavily related to their pasts. In Cloud’s case, it’s usually something Sephiroth-related. In Leon’s, it relates to the loss of the his worlds, Balamb, the Gardens. For both, they’re touchy when it comes to being reckless or bringing up old lost loved ones. )

In any case, they usually manage to pull the other back to a more calm state of mind, one way or another, with a bit of patience & some time to cool down.

IIII. THOUGHTS ON THEIR ‘RIVALRY’ . Something more light-hearted, is that Leon will never say out loud at a risk of being called a sap — but he enjoys the friendly rivalry Cloud pokes him with. 

The competition when they spar & train is something wholesome, something that never fails to inspire him to be better & stay sharp in maintaining his own skills on the battlefield. The banter also helps distract him from his own thoughts when he starts to get stressed / overwhelmed, while also keeping him thankfully amused & invested. However strange or cheesy the training / mission banter is, Leon is always grateful for it because it helped kickstart his ease in getting of his shell, in giving way to more of his old bitter humour to peek through past his icy stoic façade & transform into something far more warm amidst his past grief.

He won’t say it out loud, but the comfort it brings is about as close to home as he’ll ever get since he was ripped from his own world & friends & awoke alone in Radiant Gardens. The dynamic was something familiar, reminding him of his mercenary training back in Balamb amidst his fellow cadets, of friends, enough that’s why he usually views them with such fondness in the present.

[grieverled-moved]

THE OTHER SEEMS TO TAKE THE NEWS REMARKABLY WELL, CARRYING THE NEWFOUND KNOWLEDGE WITH AN UNCANNY KIND OF GRACE. Though that's just what he caught on the surface, the lack of a visible fearful reaction, while it wasn't present immediately, he had a very strong feeling that once reality properly began to settle, it'd likely hit him like a train. If that's the case, he isn't sure driving so soon would really help anything.

But it's not his life to live, so long as the other didn't die with his pendant on him — the tired spirit could care less.

Shrugging a shoulder in bored nonchalance, he watches as the other moves to take a seat on his bike. Though he knows there's little reason to feel that terrifying pang of fear, he still does — especially in his current state — once the man starts his engine, the rumbling roar of it resembles an approaching storms growl as it sends a rattle of something uneasy through his core.

Curiosity be damned — he sighs, but nods, not that it'd really matter in the end. Bracing himself for whatever possibility would soon come, it speaks volumes that his mind immediately wanders to the more macabre of outcomes. As soon as the other takes off however, there's no pain — not what he'd expected, but rather, his form is quick to lose itself, coming apart like the paddling wave of a hand through smoke, he disperses, aware, but soon locked within a calm sort of quiet.

It's not awful. Though he can't make out too many details in this state, trailing along after the strange man & his bike, they continue until they reach a more lively part of town, the bustling colours & sounds catching his attention in a lazy kind of way. Only once they come to a stop, does Cloud's voice pierce through the quiet to tug him right back into reality. It's all done so easily — he makes a soft noise of acknowledgement, taking the time to look himself over to make sure he was in one piece.

It'd been . . . a long time since he'd left the property.

Glancing over with milky eyes, he freezes, going stiff at the sight of the storefront ahead. Not a bad place to start their search, but something was familiar about this space — not in a way he could pinpoint, frustratingly. His jaw strains, but he moves to trail in close after the home-owner.

❝ You really think this place'll be able to help? ❞

*CONTINUED. ➤ @defiant-ex-soldiers [ ; ] MUSIC.

[grieverled-moved]

DYNAMIC TAG DUMP.

[grieverled-moved]

𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐏𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐂. 𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐈𝐀, 𝐀 𝐑𝐔𝐒𝐇 𝐈𝐍 𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐑𝐄𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐋 𝐇𝐄 𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐖 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄. It was hard for him to even consider resting, not in the middle of their search for the pair. He'd known for awhile, had a kindling sparked within his bones that hinted in hushed whispers that something wasn't quite right. That something wasn't adding up enough even before things really burst & he'd made the mistake of ignoring it. Now look at where they were. Riding in vehicles, trailing after fruitless hunting parties set up by his higher ups weren't reassuring in the slightest - only making him feel all the more restless as he's left with his thoughts & wandering fears with little feedback.

The clock taunts him in how time passes, flowing, spurring more nausea to curdle & simmer in the pit of his gut in a vitriolic mix. Eventually, they get news. It's relayed over the static of a radio, having split off from his original team, he'd taken matters into his own hands, searching like a fine tooth comb through the area the pair had last been spotted, sharp eyes flitting around looking for familiar, distant shapes & colours to hopefully be in time to do the right thing for once.

Fatigue claws at his bones, sweat beading along his back & neck from beneath his uniform suit. His cuffs rub against his wrists uncomfortably as he constantly finds himself fidgeting with them & the edges of his leather gloves. With the sun beating down from above, the heat is sweltering, prompting the Turk to brush his hair back behind his ears as he continues stubbornly trudging along. Doesn't take him long to come across an odd marking in the dirt. What's more worrying, is there's drag marks. Only a single pair of footprints.

It's not much, but it's something, enough worth checking out given the circumstances. So he does, he trails along after the fading marks, & nearly finds himself stopping in his tracks dead as a corpse when he spots the familiar shape of a well-known sword. Though the owner holding it . . . is even less well known. Vague, but familiar enough he's able to kick himself into motion, breaking into a sprint after the figure with a crease notched between his brows, focused solely on closing the distance & checking in on the other.

Interrogate was too harsh a word. Worry ebbed in his veins like a weak shores lapping waves, but it was present enough that he remembers to keep enough distance should the man be hostile. With what little info he had going into this, it was possible.

Calling after the blonde, noting the red flecked in dropping spikes, the way blood, not his own from what he can gather, decorate his frame like macabre paint, Squall feels something icy begin to sink in his gut. Dread. Fear. A cradling sense of hopelessness, but he bolsters past it with a terse swallow when the other slowly turns to face him with dull eyes. Hazy, his focus is threadbare, lagging behind before they linger on his outfit. Something flickers behind his eyes. Vague, familiar, before there's a spark lighting. Squall steps away with raised hands.

||Starter for @grieverled​

  Somewhere in the Midgar wasteland, a lone figure walked onward, carrying a sword that he could barely hold, much less lift. It left a long line behind him as he walked, an accidental easy path to follow.

  An intense grief made him numb to the world as he soldiered on, not even really understanding why he had to go to Midgar. 

  He could barely see the wasteland in front of him through the tears in his eyes. Even though he had this time to reflect on what had happened, he realized he could barely process it, he just felt a hole in his heart where his closest friend used to be. 

  Yet all he could do is stumble onward, hoping that the sprawling city in the distance had the answers somewhere within it. Words were ringing in his head.

  You’ll be… my living legacy.  

  My honor, my dreams, they’re yours now.

[grieverled-moved]

FRESH ADRENALINE LEAVES HIM FEELING LIKE AN EXPOSED LIVEWIRE, SIMULTANEOUSLY SET AFLAME ALONG WITH THE JITTERS HE FEELS CRAWLING ATOP HIS SKIN. Each breath is a laboured, heavy, ripping itself from his lungs like an exorcised possession. But even with that, he still smiles, a wide, twitchy thing that oozes smug pride with too many teeth visible as he peers down at the other man from where he remains proudly perched atop his pinned frame.

No swords this time in their usual sparring session, something more hands on, up close & personal as they tested their combat skills. The bait of a prize — winner’s choice if he remembers correctly — was hung along the dangling hook for whoever managed to pin the other down. Against all odds, despite the blonde bearing a notable advantage of being SOLDIER over Leon, he’d managed to tug victory free from his maw.

His heart is a thundering sound in his chest, one that continues its rapid, punctuating beat from beneath his ribs as he stares the other down. Faces are flushed, both men studying the other in shared silence as light, amused chuckles are traded. Tawny blonde brows are raised high as Cloud catches his own breath, chest rising & falling at an uneven rate, tension chording his limbs as he stays deathly still beneath the gun-blader.

. . . It isn’t until he goes to shift, to lift onto his knees ready to properly stand that he freezes at the feeling of something brushing against him. Doesn’t take him long to figure out just why the other went as still as he did.

❝ Something . . . ❞ Leon starts, trailing off lowly as stormy sights flicker across the blonde’s face in thought. Something knowing blooms, spotting the blotching of red across the tops of the others cheeks, inspiring a snort before an impish pull to act lures him to move. An innocent shift, a slight rock back as his gaze things & his lips curl. ❝ . . . wrong Cloud? I didn’t hit you that hard, did I? ❞

𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑮𝑬𝑫 𝑰𝑵𝑨𝑷𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑷𝑹𝑰𝑨𝑻𝑬𝑳𝒀 . ➤ @defiant-ex-soldiers [ ; ] ﹟ fight sex﹕  a  fight  between  sender  &  receiver  turns  into  sex .

[grieverled-moved]

THE DAYS WERE FAR MORE PEACEFUL - EASY ENOUGH TO LOSE HIMSELF IN THE SOOTHING FLOW WITH LITTLE WORRY. At least for himself that is. Spending a lot of his time just wandering about taking care of menial tasks now that Radiant Gardens were more or less fixed & stable again, there wasn't much for the former commander to do. His usual companions were off doing their own things & settling into this new calm with enviable ease. Too bad he was known for being restless . . . all he'd known was to fight.

With that old need more or less gone with the threat of the Heartless, while a good thing, it left him feeling on edge, uncertain & lost in what he'd do to occupy his time now. He wasn't fool enough to complain when things finally settled, knowing full well the peaceful time was more then earned given everything they'd narrowly survived.

. . . But he didn't know what to do with himself otherwise. Takes him a bit, but eventually he decides on something somewhat productive - no better time to get things set up & prepped for the incoming spring. Spending a majority of the day out in the central square, he'd taken it upon himself to start the newest flowerbed, figuring he may as well indulge in an old hobby now that he finally had the time to.

The whole time, his thoughts are occupied, wandering in a gentle sort of wildness as he works with careful hands to weed out the dead plants from the winter & fall, carefully spreading the seeds out within the freshly watered soil. Barehanded, he can feel the dirt coating his hands, burying beneath his nails, the scent of it making his shoulders sag as he relaxes little by little. Thoughts of his old home, his past, normally so off topic for him, but here they sprawl with a protective scabbing for once, enough it didn't hurt to brush his fingers along what he knows he'd never get back again. Home . . .

For him, he guesses this place was his new Home & he finds he doesn't mind the idea as much as he thought he did. Beats the old commander life he'd been dragging himself through following his own battle with Ultimecia, giving him the oddly peaceful option to retire early, to simply live without the need to constantly fight. As he finishes up the last of his 'gardening', he can't help but wince when he realizes he'd ended up planting far too many sky blue flowers among the bedding. Grumbling, he shakes his head before he shrugs it off, ignoring the passing thought they'd be the same shade of a certain swordsman's eyes when they did eventually bloom.

The rest of his day is uneventful, passing by in a comfortable haze as he things finishes the last of his reportwork & cleans his home as best he can. Cloud drifts through his mind as he often did when he wasn't present, drawing Leon's attention inadvertently down to the gifted item he wears in fidgeting silence. Cloud rushing off on another adventure wasn't anything new. Man was a lone wolf, putting the gun-blader to shame in a way that amused him, but he understood better then anyone that he had his own personal missions to tend to, one's he wouldn't dare get in the way of.

As he's moving to go to turn in for the day, room lit by the streetlamps outside shining in through the spaces his curtains don't completely cover, he can't help if his last thought before he completely falls asleep is how despite the life he's found, he feels alone. With an aching feeling that mourns in his chest, he drifts.

Tossing & turning, it's not the most peaceful of sleeps, eventually ending with him curled on his side, making himself as small as he could tucked away beneath the blankets keeping him warm. He teeters along the delicate balance of being awake & fully asleep - aware but not completely. It's an odd sort of state to be in, the silence that spans feeling smothering as he vaguely catches the continual tick of his clock down the hall. Something breaks it though, the sound of a door opening after some twisting at the knob, whoever'd entered, they're ghost-like in the lack of sound he catches in their steps. Familiar - all things considered.

His paranoid mind peeks, but it's quelled back down in lazy reassurance that he had given his house key to friends in case they needed a place to stay or to raid his home for curatives or items. Step by step, the approach, a different destination in mind that lures his sleepy curiosity. They only come to a stop by his bed, a questioning pinch of his brows indenting itself in place as he waits, only to hear further shuffling, feeling the tell-tale dip of the bed at his back. Eyes crack open, the exhaustion laden voice he catches spurring him to move & turn - & when he does, that off feeling he'd had seemingly all day dissipates, alleviating enough that it's drowned out with relief, affection. Something else he ignores as he shuffles in closer to the blonde swordsman flopped into bed.

A soft snort is given, a hand reaching up to smooth itself across Cloud's cheek as his gaze softens. He can't make out much in the darkness of his room, but it does little to kill his fondness.

❝ Missed me, huh? ❞ Leaning in, he moves to shuffle the other man beneath the sheets, ensuring he was just as comfortable following his impromptu return. Settling back down, he graces him with a tender kiss, one that's pressed lovingly along the space beneath his eye. ❝ Well . . . I missed you too. Welcome back. ❞

*UNPROMPTED. ➤ @defiant-ex-soldiers [ ; ] ((Cloud)) one time when Cloud got back from one of his trips to find his friends, it was late at night and he had assumed Leon had gone to sleep already, but he couldn't wait till morning to see him, so he used his spare keys to get into Leon's house and slipped into bed beside him, "missed you..." he whispered sleepily.

[grieverled-moved]

THIS WASNT THE FIRST TIME THEYD FOUND THEMSELVES WRAPPED UP IN A SITUATION LIKE THIS. Where the threats they’d faced loomed overhead in large numbers, that constant trilling echo of something anxious panging through his spine like a ricocheting pebble on tin with little to no time to process anything outside of his own tensed breathing. But the reassurance of Cloud at his flank, knowing the blonde would guard what blind spots he’d held as he returned the favour — it gave him courage. Strength.

Enough of it he feels he can take on anything in the world & come out unscathed enough to continue. Foolish probably, but he latches on tight with grasping fingers to cling to whatever stray hope he finds. He’s scared to let it go, knowing in the moment, they both needed to be at their best to pull through.

The moment the first Heartless rushes in to strike, he blocks it quick, gritting his teeth tight to fend against the rattling shake that breaks from the violent impact. But he pushes through, wasting no time to recover, to use the attack angle best to his advantage as he twists to cast a powerful swing of his own the creatures way. It pushes it back a great deal, the sound of the strike making contact one of victory. More clashing echoes about, the battle officially beginning as they both lock into their respective mindsets to focus.

Banter came far later, usually in these cases, when they were sure they wouldn’t be distracting the other, that things were safe enough to lose a bit of their focus to toss the occasional word between. Doesn’t take long for them to reach that point, a cheeky grin of is own is gifted, the flash of teeth peeking past quirked lips before he turns back to his own targets. He makes quick work of those he can, feeling secure enough in the turned tides to give that trusted space, in knowing Cloud could damned well handle himself without him needing to guard his side as he too began to distance. All practiced seemingly a thousand times before, unspoken, comfortable in the routine nature it provided. The thrill of the moment leaves him jittery.

Once things properly unwind, he feels the telling burn beginning to emanate from his limbs, aching itself along his muscles as he goes to put his weapon down, a graceless stab into the dry earth below, moving to massage at his hands, his forearm, moving up to the burning pain in his upper arms. Footsteps are heard approaching closer as he focuses on gathering his breath again, only glancing up when more silence greets him, but Cloud’s feet come to a perfect stop just a step away.

Stormy sights meet bright afternoon skies, flitting between Cloud’s in question, all before he manages to grit out a breathless question, face still flushed bright cherry red.

It takes him a moment, heart still rattling wildly inside, before he beams that bit wider, reaching over not to bother answering verbally as he drags the swordsman over in a sharp, rough tug. Lips crash, a sound of surprise vaguely heard though it’s muffled, smothered by his own. When he feels hands move to hold him back, he breaks it with a low laugh, peering back at Cloud with a knowing look.

❝ Too polite, Cloud. You don’t even need to ask at this point. ❞

*Send “...Can I?” for my muses reaction to yours asking to kiss them. ➤ @defiant-ex-soldiers [ ; ] ((Cloud)) “...Can I?”

[grieverled-moved]

Memories stirred like dust off an old structure being moved. He doesn't need to look over to know Cloud's got that look in his eyes. A far away, misted over one as his own played in real time like an old films reel behind bright eyes. Ones Leon knows he has no part in prodding at, so he keeps his gaze carefully turned away, of to a corner as he drags a gloved hand along one of the nearest walls at his side, scanning along the ruins & wreckage surrounding the pair.

His eyes narrow, thinned in their scrutiny, though they hold a note of interest to them, some bit of curiosity that rises, trying to imagine what life was like here for the others when it remained intact & steady.

Safe.

A slow inhale is taken, the musty air tingling along his nose as he furrows his brows together in thought. When Cloud speaks, it's like thunder rumbling through a quiet storm, low, tired, all before he takes a deepened breath, turning to face the gun-blader as he casts the blonde a look from over his shoulder. Hands raise, tucking themselves into the crooks of his arms with a hum of contemplation, brows tilting upwards in diluted sympathy.

Glancing down, he looks at what's drawn the swordsman's attention, head tilting as he catches sight of the . . . limply hanging toy being held out his way to study. Shinra . . . he'd heard stories in passing from the others about that group. He's silent, but he nods softly, listening on as the blonde continues. There's a small sting of something jealous, but it dies out as quickly as it rises, noting how at the very least, someone had retained a stable connection with their world. His own . . . hadn't been so lucky, swallowed up in darkness, barely a chance to evacuate, to prepare. There was nothing to be done to counter or defend against it. It's taken him many years of guilt & grief to accept as much, but at least . . . someone was able to face a gentler version of it.

Small blessings where they could count, he sighs.

Shrugging a shoulder, his arms uncross, instead coming to brace along his hips with knuckles digging into the white of his t-shirt. He nods again, this time letting out a low laugh, one that still bears it's own slight sadness, but it's complimented with a more tangible determination.

"If you need a hand . . . " The brunet quirks his lips faintly. "I think it'd be worth it to try repairing the place. To fix it up. If nothing else, we can ensure someone else can use the space. But . . . for the time being? It's probably a wise idea to run it by the rest first, yeah."

He spins on his heel, a slow & measured motion, the dark of his bangs swaying into his vision as he studies the rundown home once more, taking a few steps towards the broken walkway they'd entered through, peering on with a softened look as sunlight spilled through in an almost picturesque manner through the cracks & open ceiling.

"Hey . . ." Stopping, he taps his foot against the wooden floorboards. His voice lowers, taking on a whisper-like quality as he reaches up to smooth a hand through his hair. It takes him some effort, but he manages to finally get it out after another moment. "Thank you. For letting me come back here with you. This place . . . I know it means something to you. Was important at one point. It can't be easy coming back after everything."

                      ➤ @defiant-ex-soldiers

[Music]

"Yeah...."

Cloud knew that eventually the reconstrution effort was going to spread out to the area of Hollow Bastion where his old home had been located. He'd always thought of it as temporary, only a place for them to stay until Cid could build them a way to get back home.

Still, as he walked through the ruins with Leon, he could remember this place as if he were there yesterday. Cid furiously typing at his computer in the corner, or working on the machine that took up half the living room.... Barret sitting on the couch, telling Tifa something, probably related to Marlene and how much he missed her. Nanaki would be curled at their feet, relaxing, only passively listening to the converation. Vincent would be leaning against a wall, watching the others in the room passively.

Cait Sith would eventually relay information to them on how their world was doing. It was an odd thing... Cait Sith was brought into this world along with them, but Reeve retained connection to it across space and time somehow, so for a little while, they had someone that could tell them about their world, but that connection was tenuous at best and grew weaker and weaker over time. One day, not too long before Hollow Bastion was destroyed, he just shut down.

He still wonders what happened to Reeve every once in a while, it gnaws on his mind sometimes when he's in bed at night. It bothers him as much as it does that he hasn't found Nanaki, or Barret yet... or that Vincent had been lost to them forever.

Cloud picks through the wreckage, obviously looking for something. He could make out the structure of the house from what had remained, so he could easily pick out where it had been left.

He managed to uncover a skinny black arm with a large white glove on the hand. He cleared around the rest of the figure and pulled what looked like a stuffed cat out of the wreckage, brushing off it's fur and cape, and picking it's little crown out of the wreckage too.

"Just as I thought... nobody came back for him. Not that it matters... We lost connection with him a long time ago anyway."

Cloud took a deep breath and turned to Leon, presenting the doll for him to see. It was hard to tell it was mechanical on the inside. It looked like a ragged old toy.

"This it Cait Sith. This is just a machine body built and operated by Reeve, one of the only good guys working at ShinRa..."

The time when Reeve tried to kidnap Marlene still ruffled his feathers, but that was water under the bridge. He'd proven himself worthy of being a part of their little family.

"For some unknown reason, Reeve retained his connection to Cait Sith, even between worlds. For a while, he was the only way we knew what was happening in our world. Then one day, his mechanical body just... shut down. We lost our last connection with our real home... Then the Heartless attacked, and everyone was in such a hurry that they never grabbed him..."

He knew that even if he were to find everyone and go back home, nothing would be the same. He couldn't leave Leon behind for one... and Vincent was gone for good. Their little family would never feel complete without him. It was great that Aerith was alive, but she could never replace him.

Cloud looked around once again at the destroyed house, then his gaze settled on Leon.

"I would like to see this place rebuilt. I don't know if it could be our home again, considering we've all settled into our own spots... but just leaving it like this brings back too many memories. I would say that the machine could be brought to Cid, but I don't know if he wants it anymore or not. I'll have to ask him."

"I think... I'll have a talk with the others on what they would like to become of the old house. Then when we settle on something, we'll report back to you."

[grieverled-moved]

[ DEBATE ] our muses are arguing because sender is worried and overprotective of receiver,  but when they get up in each other’s faces they end kissing and groping at each other.

He's made his decision.

He knows it's not one everyone will stand behind, even though he knows they'd understand, would support him sooner or later - but it's one he's spent many years thinking on. The final push to take the plunge, to wander over the edge he'd been eyeing for so long to finally dive over the edge . . . he feels he's ready to leave the safe comfort of Radiant Gardens. With their world restored . . . with everything repaired, fixed up & no longer in need of being cared for, with the people finally safe & well protected within their walls with the threat of Heartless much more manageable a task, hardly an issue these days - what else did he have as far as his purpose went?

Just sitting around, waiting for Cloud & his other friends to return from whatever adventures lured them back off World time & time again?

He was always a warrior at heart, someone who craved the fresh sting of battle, the clash of steel & the scent of freshly cast magic. He was raised to fight, been forced to adapt to survive, & though he was content with the peace he'd found & had a hand in helping cultivate, he was starting to grow far too restless, too antsy in his idle waiting.

He just couldn't do it any longer. If the others were out there proving they could find those from their own lost World's, their own pasts, why couldn't he go give it a shot with a search of his own?

Word seems to have travel fast, the sight of the man stocking up on supplies, on weapons, curatives, as many maps as he could purchase as he gathered what logs he still kept from his own personal Gummi-ship travels. He has a few ideas on the places he wants to search first. What once starts as dread quickly begins to blossom into excitement, anticipation. He's excited at the chance to spread his wings & be productive again. Hope kindles within his chest, & as he finishes the last of his preparations, all that's left to do is pack his own personal belongings.

He doesn't need much, just clothing, spare armour & boots, bags for carrying the items he'd be taking off in his on world explorations - & as he sits on the bed in his room, holding his old jacket in his hands, thumbing along the aged, yellowed fur from his short jacket . . . he feels the first pang of something sad echoing about.

But he doesn't have time to process it much more than that as Cloud storms in, door swinging open, a shout of his name preceding it as wild teal quickly find his own. He moves fast, crowding in, though his eyes do eventually break the emotionally brimmed stare to look over the room & all it's scattered contents. They linger on the travel case for Lionheart, an old blade he hadn't used in years, before they finally drift back over to snag on his own sights. There's so many emotions simmering in brightly flaring depths. Panic is among the strongest, worry not far behind followed by pained confusion.

Leon expects it. He knows he's the last person people would think would leave 'home' once it's been found again. Fixed up & made safe.

It doesn't take long for an argument to break loose, any attempts made to keep it civil, composed & steady failing as it seems Cloud's all too focused on the fact Leon's leaving, the fear smothering any other attempts to be logical, to explain it wasn't for forever being utterly lost on him. He loses his temper, he narrows his eyes in a warning glare, breathing in through his nose with a scowl in place when the back & forth suddenly takes a turn into it being too dangerous out there. Indignation rises, bubbling free as he moves to shoulder past the former mercenary, that need for space, for fresh air urgent. But even that's not an option when he feels himself stop at the hands suddenly reaching his way, holding him steady & preventing him from leaving.

When he gives a jerking tug to try free himself with an irritated growl, Cloud's fingers curl tighter, refusing to stubbornly budge & let him storm off. The gun-blader goes to swivel, to tell the frustrating blonde off & demand he let him go, but finds his bared snarl quickly caught once he turns. Like a switch that's been flipped, he lets out another low grumble, that earlier annoyance still present, but altogether quick to soothe as he melts into the other's hold. He wants to stay angry with the other, but he can't bring himself to be once he realizes just why Cloud'd been so on edge.

They really were too similar at times . . .

At Cloud’s core, he was protective of those he grew to care for. A sentiment he mirrors completely, understands better than anyone else. It takes him a moment, but he moves to return the touches, drawing back from the swordsman, pressing a kiss just along the corner of his mouth before moving to rest his forehead against his. Weaving his hands beneath Cloud's arms, they come to a curled rest along the curve of his lower back, nails scratching lightly along the material of Cloud's shirt as he huffs softly.

Arching a brow at the man, he wills a faint smile to his lips, an attempt to reassure the other as he peers into mako pools.

“You know I’ll always come back right? That it won’t be for forever?”

                    ➤   @defiant-ex-soldiers​​  [ ; ]  SOME MORE SMUTTY MEMES .

[grieverled-moved]

                               “I broke the lock. You were screaming.”

His chest still heaves strongly, the heavy rise & fall of it greatly exaggerated in an effort to help him draw breath with ease. Words are heavily muffled, sounding like he was hearing them spoken from underwater.

I BROKE THE LOCK - YOU WERE SCREAMING.

The gun-blader's eyes are still wide even in the dark of his room, the small way it's pierced only coming from what spills in from the halls through his wide open bedroom door. Replaying the other's words, he latches on tight if only to give himself something else to focus on, to get a better grip of where he was, what'd happened.

Cloud is hunched over him, hands on his face, thumbs smoothing along the clammy, dampened skin just below his eyes, thumbs tracing soothing patterns into the space just above his cheekbones in an effort to calm him down. Keep him grounded through the gentle touch. He appreciates it, would've normally sunk into that familiar warmth with the intent to be enveloped further & cradled protectively, but with the remnants of his dream, his nightmare still clinging to fresh to his mind . . .

It feels claustrophobic. Crowded in, smothered & on the verge of strangling. He makes a noise low in his throat, something vaguely groan-like but hopefully reassuring as he gently lifts his own hands to curl them around Clouds, removing them, keeping them wrapped around the bare fingers he can feel before scooting himself back, more upright so his upper back bumped along the headboard.

As much of an unspoken sign he needed some distance still to collect himself.

Nightmares often did that, rare as they were. But the strong ones . . . he hated how they made him act. Clingy, needing that company while acting so contradictory in leaving him painfully particular about how it was given & by who.

Like a wounded animal, he lashed out at most, but here, he recognizes Cloud's presence enough that urge doesn't rise, that snappish behaviour, the urge to bite his teeth in warning to push him away because he was seen in a state so vulnerable. Giving his hand an answering squeeze around the swordsman's own, he focuses on drawing in a few more generous lungfuls of air before he bothers to lift his sights up, connecting them with Cloud's worried stare.

There's something vaguely knowing there, but he thankfully doesn't pry much further than that, something he greatly appreciates, a soft, twitching smile issued as he leans in, feeling the way his heart soothed in it's rapid beating to a more calm rhythm. Exhaustion still wears itself too proudly on his shoulders, the way they sag giving away how tired he still was in the aftermath as he rests his forehead against the curved hollow of Cloud's neck & shoulder.

"Nightmare." Leon states plainly, voice muffled against the material of the others shirt. There's a rumbled sound, bordering on a hum in acknowledgement as the blonde shifts in place, more or less to get comfortable than to actually put space. A tense swallow is given, but the quiet is comforting, undemanding, acting as a soothing balm over his panic as he let's his eyes drift shut, a longer exhale puffed into the lingering space between. Fingers tighten their hold on Cloud's hands after a few more minutes, a question asked before he can verbally relay it out loud.

STAY?

                            ➤ @defiant-ex-soldiers

[grieverled-moved]

                              ➤ @defiant-ex-soldiers : ((Cloud)) ♫

I.              𝐇𝐀𝐋𝐅-𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄 [ ; ] 𝐄𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑. Twilight falls on empty streets   \   I’ve seen it all,  the days repeat   \   A thousand nights of restless sleep   \   I’m losing touch with everything   \   So call it off   \   You can’t save me now   \   There’s nothing left of me to give .

Now I’m begging you to slow down   —   let me be alone now   \   I should be the last thing on your mind   \   It’s been a long time coming & I’m still here running from everything,  yeah   \   You can find me in the street lights Driving after midnight   \   Funny how the time flies when I’m gone   \   & by the time you wonder I’ll be six feet under so stay away . . .

II.              𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃𝐄𝐒𝐓 𝐎𝐅 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒 [ ; ] 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 + 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐄. There is love in your body but you can't hold it in   \   It pours from your eyes & spills from your skin   \   Tenderest touch leaves the darkest of marks   \   & the kindest of kisses break the hardest of hearts .

There is love in your body but you can't get it out   \  It gets stuck in your head,  won't come out of your mouth   \   Sticks to your tongue & shows on your face that the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste .

Darling heart,  I loved you from the start   \   But you'll never know what a fool I've been .

III.              𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐋𝐋 [ ; ] 𝐄𝐗𝐄𝐒, 𝐉𝐎𝐌𝐄. Everybody tells you that it's something you get used to   \   But I don't wanna lose you 'cause I fear I might lose me too   \   For the first time,  wishing we had more time   \   Wishing for a storyline,  one that doesn't end without you   \   & it feels like walking with my hands tied bracing for the sunrise 'til it starts again . . .

If I stay still will you meet me where we both fell?   \   If I never move,  maybe I will,  maybe I will see you soon .

IV.              𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 & 𝐋𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 [ ; ] 𝐎𝐅 𝐌𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 & 𝐌𝐄𝐍. Taking over this town,  they should worry   \   But these problems aside,  I think I taught you well   \   That we won't run,  & we won't run,  & we won't run .

His crown lit up the way as we moved slowly   \   Past the wondering eyes of the ones that were left behind   \   Though far away,  though far away,  though far away   \   We're still the same,  we're still the same,  we're still the same . . .

Howling ghosts,  they reappear in mountains that are stacked with fear   \   But you're a king & I'm a lionheart   \   & in the sea that's painted black   \   Creatures lurk below the deck   \   But you're a king and I'm a lionheart .

& as the world comes to an end   \   I'll be here to hold your hand   —   'Cause you're my king & I'm your lionheart .

V.              𝐁𝐄𝐆𝐈𝐍 𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐈𝐍 [ ; ] 𝐏𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐘 𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆. I've been watching your kindness keep a lonely company   \   Look at the fire & think of me   \   I've been watching you creep around my wandering feet   —   trying for years to flee .

I need not one thing more   ...   oh,  wrap the ground around   \   Your gentle winding mind   ...   oh,  guard the pounding sound   \   Breathe in your fiery air   ...   oh,  wrap the ground around   \   Give back a hungrier stare   ...   oh,  guard the pounding sound .

You be the moon,  I'll be the earth & when we burst   \   Start over,  oh,  darling   —   begin again .

[grieverled-moved]

((Cloud)) "I thought i’d never see this place again" (He went back to the ruins of the house the FFVII crew lived in before their world fell, complete with the scraps of a machine Cid was building to get them back home. He never rebuilt it because Cloud insisted on finding their missing friends first.)

Wading through old torn remnants, dust coated debris bearing the heavy scent of something aged & undisturbed, Leon finds his eye's trailing along everything as they move, keeping close to the other as he carefully studies what he can see. He isn't sure if it's completely safe being back here again, isn't exactly sure just what the status of Heartless is here or if there's any other threats to worry about in returning, but he can't deny that there's a . . . certain feeling evoked at wandering through an old lived in but broken down & decayed home.

It's bittersweet, saddening to see how poor a state things were left in, but oddly welcoming.

It was nice to return, to scout through old lost memories & allow them to resurface on their own with each old & new sight uncovered. Though when he looks over to the other swordsman, his expression falters, something more laced in contemplation & concern as he notes just where he stares.

An old broken down machine - something he can recognize from just about anywhere - Cid's handywork worn down & rusted over, possibly well past the point of salvaging as it lay in collapsed pieces just off in the distance. A portal attempt, one built with the intention of getting people back to their respective worlds. Unfortunately . . . far too hopeful a machine to try dabbling with.

Too dangerous, & conflictingly, not something a lot of them feel the want to consider now once so much time had passed.

Their old lives were missed, his own especially, but the one built here . . . he'd have just as bad a time trying to leave it to return than learning to live again on his own. He isn't sure if that's a sentiment shared by the others, but he knows for sure there was a reason that it was never attempted again in either a recreation or a complete recycling. A respect for Cloud's wish to only try building it again once they were all together again.

He crosses his arms over his chest, humming, turning on his heel to slowly wander further into the dilapidated ruins of the old home, spotting how stray bits of dust floated through the air with each motion or slight breath.

"Never say never. It's been a long time, hasn't it?"

                                ➤ @defiant-ex-soldiers