#❁{ᴛʜɪs ɪs ʜᴏᴡ ᴛᴏ ʀɪsᴇ ᴀɢᴀɪɴ}——headcanons;

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okay but like here’s the thing:

it’s not just that feliks is a complete disaster (which he is) and too proud to actually ask people for help (also true)

the problem is that he is trying so so hard to be a good person and based on previous complaints he’s decided that the way to do that is to make an effort to not be selfish, entitled, manipulative-- and that’s not a bad thing but he keeps taking it too far and somehow equated selflessness to giving up your own happiness in favour of someone else and that’s not! being helped! by his disaster-ness and specifically his complete and total self-hatred! and his efforts don’t even work because he still doesn’t really a grasp on the whole empathy thing and so he tries so hard to give the people he cares about what he thinks they want and it’s not what they actually want and so he still comes off as selfish and entitled because he’s making decisions for the relationship without taking the other person’s actual desires and feelings into account and the whole thing’s just a damn mess.

you see this with @viltismanedar and you see it with @kwiecista, these are people he genuinely cares about, deeply, so deeply he forces himself to consider their feelings over his own... and yet he can’t read their true feelings, and so he screws it up, and that just confirms to him that deep down he’s still just a terrible person, and he’s still not trying hard enough. and it doesn’t confirm to him that they also care about him. because who would care about a self-centred asshole like him?

[divinctions-blog]

main tag drop pt. 1

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eyes and hands :D

if i were being poetic, i would say feliks’s eyes are gold (and i have drawn them that way in the past, actually). in reality they’re a bright, light spring-green– just weird enough to be captivating, not quite weird enough to look inhuman. enough brown behind them to make them catch the light in interesting ways– that’s where the gold really comes in. they’re heavy-lidded and narrow. kind of parallelogram shaped, sharp angles at the corners. he always looks vaguely bored or annoyed or both. the skin around them is smooth– no crows feet. he has very thick eyelashes, but they’re so pale that you can barely see them– it just makes his eyes as a whole look that much odder. he wears mascara sometimes, because it’s sthg hes pretty selfconscious about.

his hands are thin-fingered and long, just a bit knobbly, gaps when he puts his knuckles together. like the rest of him, there’s no fat on his hands. his veins stand out very clearly. scars on knuckles and palms, a lot of them are burn scars. his arm tattoos reach up to the middle of the back of his hands. fingernails clipped short, but painted bright colours. he keeps them cut because piano and sewing, but also in an (unsuccessful) attempt to stop himself from chewing them or scratching himself. they’re delicate hands, like the rest of his body. when he holds them up to the light you can see through the webs.

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[build] ?

i don’t think it’s a secret that feliks is a very petite person in pretty much every possible way. he’s not only short, but small-framed and skinny– small shoulders, small hips, very little fat anywhere. his arms, especially his wrists, are really boney to the point of being sharp. (he’s always been small, but the thinness is a direct result of multiple health issues, both mental and physical. bad months, you can see his ribs even when he breathes out.)

none of this is to say he’s not strong, though! while his slight build puts him at a bit of a disadvantage among other Nations, compared to humans he’s still supernaturally strong and fast. and years of training have given him plenty of muscles. in general, think wiry, not bulky. he’s always been a cavalryman, not a foot soldier, and his body shows that.

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★ fill in the questions as if you are being interviewed for an article and you were your muse.

TAGGED BY: @marching-man

TAGGING: ANYONE! EVERYONE! @viltismanedar​ @kwiecista​ @ofeire​ have you done this yet

1. WHAT IS YOUR NAME?   full name? Feliks Aleksander Krzysztof Łukasiewicz.

2. WHAT IS YOUR REAL NAME? Rzeczpospolita Polska, the Republic of Poland.

3. DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU’RE CALLED THAT? ......uh, because i’m Poland? no offense but that’s a really dumb question.

4. ARE YOU SINGLE OR TAKEN? eh... I’m in a pretty lowkey relationship right now. and even if i were single i wouldn’t go out with you.

5. WHAT ARE YOUR POWERS AND ABILITIES? other than being immortal, you mean? hmm.... well, specific to me I’m pretty fast and super resilient. also for some reason when i work with mechanical stuff it... does weird things. like, “i think i just broke physics” things. stuff like Stepping and fast healing and picking up languages quickly, those are just regular Nation things so i don’t usually think about them.

6. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? green. (bats eyelashes) aren’t they pretty?

7. HAVE YOU EVER DYED YOUR HAIR?  I had green-and-pink highlights during my punk phase. don’t look at me like that. everyone’s gotta have a punk phase.

8. DO YOU HAVE ANY FAMILY MEMBERS? Nation-wise, a shit-ton of cousins and a sister. i consider my citizens family too, but other than that it’s me and my cat.

9. DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS? szczesiek! he’s white and fluffy and i love him.

10. TELL ME ABOUT SOMETHING YOU DON’T LIKE. Prussia. snakes. being cold. Prussia. people who take up a ton of space on the train. people who bring their dogs on the train. Prussia. games with too many fetch quests. did I mention Prussia yet?

11. DO YOU HAVE ANY HOBBIES OR ACTIVITIES YOU DO IN YOUR SPARE TIME? mostly sewing or computer games. i play piano. in summer i go horseback riding a lot. also i like baths! i don’t know if that counts as a hobby but i love it. it’s really relaxing.

12. HAVE YOU EVER HURT ANYONE BEFORE? (cheerfully) ‘course.

13. HAVE YOU EVER… KILLED ANYONE? (still cheerfully) yep!

14. WHAT KIND OF ANIMAL ARE YOU? like, what would i be? sometimes i think ‘cat’ and sometimes i think ‘bird’. depends on like, the alignment of the stars or something. mmm... tonight i’ll say cat.

15. NAME YOUR WORST HABITS. i’ve been told i’m annoying but who pays attention to that shit? (laughs) no really though. i know i’m bad at reading people so i can be... pretty thoughtless. i say dumb things.  ‘cause i don’t really think about how it’ll affect anyone else? normally it doesn’t bother me that much. it... makes some relationships harder than they should be though....

16. DO YOU LOOK UP TO ANYONE? Ealga is like the mom i never had. we don’t talk very much anymore-- we’re both busy with our own stuff-- but i still admire her more than i think she knows. and my sister Magda is pretty awe-inspiring. i would cheerfully kill for her and might even consider dying for her.

17. GAY, STRAIGHT, OR BISEXUAL? ACE ACE BABY. my current romantic partner’s male, if you care about that stuff.

18. DO YOU GO TO SCHOOL? i’d love to go back and get a second degree....maybe a teacher’s license actually, that would be awesome...... but no, i’m not.

19. DO YOU EVER WANT TO MARRY AND HAVE KIDS SOMEDAY? mm. marriage for Nations is-- complicated. if i were human i might. as it stands, though, i can barely handle the responsibilities i do have, never mind a political union.

also for the record, i would be a terrible parent.

20. DO YOU HAVE ANY FANS? uh....... my neighbour seems pretty fond of me? i guess? what does this even mean who writes these questions

21. WHAT ARE YOU MOST AFRAID OF?  i’ll admit to being scared of snakes, ‘cause everyone knows that. you must be a level 800 friend to unlock anything else.

22. WHAT DO YOU USUALLY WEAR? i adore crop tops. my go-to street outfit is a nice soft one with jeans and boots and loads of jewelry. i have a bunch of cute sundresses too but it depends on my mood and who i’m with. some of my friends, ah-- subscribe more to human views of gender than others.

23. DO YOU LOVE SOMEONE? (blushes and fidgets while muttering something about “too soon to talk about it”)

24. WHAT CLASS ARE YOU? i live a generally middle-class lifestyle these days. comfortable but not super fancy.

25. HOW MANY FRIENDS DO YOU HAVE? .....are you asking for exact numbers? because i’d have to be pretty damn pathetic to know that off the top of my head.

26. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PIE? pi is an outdated construct that you can’t actually work with half the time. use tau instead.

27. FAVORITE DRINK? (cups hands around mouth and shouts) WHO WON BEST VODKA AT THE INTERNATIONAL WINE AND SPIRITS COMPETITION FIVE YEARS RUNNING, HUH IRINA? --anyway, you can’t get drunk on beer, everyone knows that.

29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE? Kraków, probably. it’s still really special to me.

30. ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOMEONE? (side-eyes) would i be in a relationship if i wasn’t?

31. WHAT’S YOUR BRA SIZE? 32AA.

32. WOULD YOU RATHER SWIM IN THE LAKE OR THE OCEAN? i love swimming in the ocean. salt water waves are a very specific experience you just can’t replicate inland.

33. WHAT’S YOUR ‘TYPE’? apparently snake-kissing pagan assholes. ....uh, don’t tell toris i said that, he doesn’t think the pagan thing is funny anymore

34. ANY FETISHES? no comment.

35. TOP OR BOTTOM? DOMINANT OR SUBMISSIVE? NO COMMENT

36. CAMPING, OR INDOORS? (shudders) indoors indoors indoors

37. ARE YOU WAITING FOR THIS INTERVIEW TO BE OVER? why, is it over now? are you leaving? do you need help finding the door--?

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just discovered Magda Przychodzka and feliks has a new favourite artist

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✿ #letfelekbehappy2k17

Send ✿ for a HAPPINESS headcanon. 

sometimes in the summer when it rains feliks goes outside and stands in it, mud between his toes and his hair plastered to his cheeks and for the first time in ages he really feels the full weight of his connection with his country with his land, comforting pressure like a blanket wrapped around his shoulders, and the rain washes away the centuries of bloodshed and heartache and for a few precious moments he can just be.

(then he goes inside and takes a really hot shower and scalds his mouth on hot chocolate trying to warm up bc ew wet)

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feliks is really skinny and it hurts me

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feliks was such a wreck in the 50s though like????????

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✄

a PET PEEVE headcanon♞ 

you know those people that use candle warmers to make their house smell good but use weird scents like “fresh linen” that actually just smell like soap? that bothers Feliks so much.

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this post is in celebration of me finally figuring out what colour feliks’s hair is

he’s honey-blond

his hair is dark

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it’s not that he’s flighty, you understand.

---just that he is air and fire and light, and all his connections are more like anchors than roots.

to know the name is to know the thing. feliks is luck and everyone knows that but he has a surname too and do you think himaruya knew what he was doing when he named his brave, shy, flashy poland bright fortune?

łukasiewicz. from łukasz, luke. a healer and a saint and his name means “light-bringer”. brightly shining. a light in the darkness; a city set on a hill. (or maybe a watchfire, or an arsonist’s softly crackling lullaby.) 

(or a firebird, piecing itself back together in the first glimmers of the new dawn.)

i do a lot of tag memes where I’m asked to pick colours for feliks, and my answers are always the same. red and gold, like fire, like the sun, elegance and beauty. and blue. not sea-blue or navy or the deep indigo of the night, but pale blue, like a cloudless sky.

the sky is an image i don’t use enough, for feliks, considering how deeply i associate it with him. it’s not an association with a quick, obvious reason. it’s because of wings, and because of aeroplanes. it’s freedom and limitless possibilities.

---a darker side, too: feliks-the-wanderer, when he spent so long uprooted with nothing to tether him to the earth. darkest of all: the sky is ambition, and it’s the danger that comes when freedom goes to your head. 

if you fly high enough you can touch the sun. Icarus didn't die from falling. he drowned, in the end, when the sun that rejected him sent him spiraling above the surface of the sea. and his sodden wings, too heavy to hold him up any longer, dragged him under the surface and cradled him as he suffocated.

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✞ TALK CATHOLIC 2 ME FELIKS

✞: Does your muse have an religious beliefs? What are they?

as you have so perceptively pointed out, feliks is devoutly catholic. he makes a point of attending mass every week at least, confesses regularly, and in general tries to keep up a very strong and personal relationship with God.