#✿| — 𝐏𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐇𝐒

[lovelyney]

───────𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓, 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘──────

DESC: When your intrusive thoughts win you over, you start withdrawing from everyone, thinking that no one will notice. However, that is far from the truth.

PAIRINGS: Tighnari x (GN!) Reader

SCENT: hurt/comfort

WARNINGS: self-harm, intrusive and suicidal thoughts, mental breakdowns, mentions of hallucinations, blood mentions

FLORIST’S NOTE: each and every flower has its own growing conditions; people are the same when it comes to healing from trauma or mental illness. do not rush yourself. you will bloom, i promise. give. yourself. time.

SONG: Fallen Down ― VGR, CG5

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯2023 !! #©LOVELYNEY

YOU FLINCHED BITTERLY as you finished off your last Withering Zone for the day—one of the disciples of dismay hitting your upper arm before it fully deteriorated. And since you were dealing with this one by yourself, you’d have to wait until you got back to Gandhara ville to treat it. Wincing in pain, you pressed your hand against the wound and hoped you’d be able to hide until you (semi) safely returned to your house in the ville. The farthest thing you wanted to do at the time was alert Collei and Tighnari, not with how fatigued you were.  

As you reached the village, you exhaled a sigh of relief—the sounds of laughter dampening your already bitter mood. Typically, you wouldn’t complain about such a positive thing, but as of late, your mental energy has drained unusually fast, and seeing people live so carelessly when you can’t is a very bittersweet thing.

“(NAME)! You’re back!” Collei hollered and ran over to you, a soft smile gracing her lips as you came in her line of sight. “How’d everything go? You didn’t get hurt, right?”  

You pressed your palm harder against your arm, hoping the blood that threatened to seep out wasn’t noticeable. “I’m fine, Collei. Everything went well! I’m just a little tired. . .” You assured, your voice breaking from your exhaustion. 

Her eyes softened. “I—I see! I’m glad to hear that. Go ahead and get some rest; I—I’ll tell master Tighnari you’ve returned.”

You smiled feebly, “thanks so much, Collei. I appreciate it.” Bidding the girl a quick goodbye, you strode into your small house, your body about ready to collapse. 

You walked into the bathroom and grabbed the necessary supplies to care for the laceration. Your medical knowledge was limited, but luckily, Tighnari gave you an entire lecture on how to cater to different kinds of wounds when you had gotten yourself injured in the forest alone. Gingerly pulling your sleeves up, you tried to tear your eyes away from all the scars that littered your skin. Whenever you looked at your self-injuries, they reminded you how terrible you felt about yourself. People always say scars are evidence that you’re strong, but all yours did was make you feel weak. You wanted to confidently say that you’re passed that part of your life, but truthfully, you started to feel yourself slip back into it. You haven’t mentioned it to anyone, fearing they’re going to label you as  “crazy” or simply just water down your feelings to “being dramatic.”

A familiar voice rang out and dragged you back to reality; “(NAME)? Are you in here? Collei told me you weren’t feeling well, so I came to personally see how you’re doing.”

You hurriedly finished up the bandages on your arm. “Coming!” you replied, leaving the bathroom and almost stumbling over your feet from how fast you moved. “H—hi, Tighnari! I’m alright, really. I’m just really tired,” you greeted, your shoulders tense from the ranger’s sudden visit.

Tighnari’s ears and nose twitched as he surveyed your expression. “I smell rubbing alcohol. You’re injured, aren’t you?” He asked curtly, his eyebrows furrowing.

You swallowed thickly, knowing it was far from possible to hide anything from Tighnari. You faltered, “[sighs]. Y—yes. . . But it’s nothing, really! One of the dismays just hit me before the zone fully dispersed.” Hearing your voice out loud made you want to shrink and hide.

Shaking his head dismissively, he stepped closer to you. “(NAME), I’m not worried about how well you performed I’m worried about you. Let me see the—”

“Nono! That—that won’t be necessary. I, um, already treated it. S—so, it’s fine now!” You blurted, your face burning with fear. You hadn’t shown anyone your self-harm scars, and you feared what he’d think of you if he did see them. You swallowed the lump in your throat and continued talking. “Y—you don’t have to worry about me. I’m fine, really. . .”

Tighnari’s ears lowered as he stared you down with a melancholy gaze. The biting fear in your (COLOR) eyes and voice had nearly caused his heart to jump out of his ribcage. He could clearly tell something was wrong, but he didn’t want to push his luck.

“[sighs]. Alright, I’ll trust your word. . . But if anything’s bothering you, physically or mentally, please don’t hesitate to come find me, alright? I really don’t mind taking care of you, (NAME).” Confided the ranger, softening his voice to ease a little of your apprehension.

Letting out a quiet breath of relief, you flopped down on your bed, your mattress bringing you some much-needed comfort. “Mhm. Thanks, Tighnari. . .” you muttered, your voice monotonous from your lack of energy.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. It felt wrong to leave you alone when you clearly weren’t well, but maybe all you needed was some quality sleep. “Alright, I’ll leave you to rest. Sleep well, rosebud.” He spoke before leaving quietly, making sure to close the door behind him. 

Through your bitter emotions, you brightened up a little at the nickname he’d given you. “Rosebud, huh. . .” you thought and closed your eyes, mind weighing heavy with uneasiness for an unknown cause. 

“Will I ever have a chance to fully blossom?” 

You hugged your pillow tighter against your body as sunlight enveloped your room through your flowered curtains. It seemed your hypothesis from yesterday was correct; you were spiraling downwards back into your depression, judging by your lack of unwillingness to get up despite sleeping like a log the entire night.

Fluttering open your (COLOR) eyes, you peered up at your ceiling with a distant look. You doubted anyone came in to check on you; you didn’t consider yourself to be of significance to them. So it was natural they didn’t care, right?

Being alone with your intrusive thoughts with nothing else but the sound of the wind was excruciating—torture even. Whereas no matter what you did to try and move, the shackles that restrained you didn’t budge. Though you remembered how careless you’ve been with the withering zones and thought you maybe deserved to be alone—to feel the crushing weight of everything you thought you did wrong. 

Tears clouded in your eyes and fell down as the thoughts multiplied. And with each one, the light in your eyes that once rivaled the sun dulled to rival the twilight that washed over teyvat during the night.

KNOCK. KNOCK

“(NAME). . .? Are—are you feeling alright? You haven’t left your room at all today. . .” Collei’s warm voice asked on the other side of the door.

You jolted up and frantically rubbed your eyes, hoping to rid the evidence that showed you’d been crying. “Y—yeah, I’m in here! Sorry, I ended up oversleeping. . . Do you need me for something?” You answered and tossed your legs over the side of your bed.

She shook her head, “no no! Um, Tighnari specifically told me that you should spend today getting all the rest you need. So you oversleeping is not an issue at all!” Her eyes followed down to your injury. “H—how’s your arm feeling?”

You winced as you remembered yesterday’s events. You murmured, “ah, an—about that. . . I’m sorry for hiding it from you. I—I didn’t want you to worry.” 

Collei offered you an apologetic smile. “Please don’t apologize! I—I’m just glad you treated it. . .” she reassured. Her smile fell when she regarded your puffy eyes and wet cheeks. “(NAME). . . Are—are you sure you’re feeling okay? You look so drained. . . You know you can always come to master Tighnari or me if anything’s bothering you, r—right?” Worried the trainee. 

“She’s lying to make you feel better. Nobody actually cares about you.”

“All you do is make things worse. You’re nothing but a burden to everyone around you.”

Biting back another tsunami of tears, you cleared your throat and compelled a weak smile. “I appreciate that, Collei. But I promise I’m alright! I just, um, need to lay down for a bit more. . .” you said feebly. “Way to go; you made it sound like you’re trying to get rid of her. Now she’s sure to hate you.”

She nodded understandingly, her expression warm and gentle. She insisted, “t—that’s perfectly fine, (NAME)! I’ll leave so you can rest, b—but please come get someone if you feel the need to!” 

You watched her leave with a sigh, your gaze lingering on your bedside drawer. “I should at least change clothes. . .” You uttered and picked out some comfier-looking clothes to throw on. As you dressed, your eyes continued to fixate on one of your drawers. “Well, what’re you waiting for? Go on, do it.” You fell on your bed and tightly shut your eyes, mustering up all your strength to ignore your thoughts. 

Meanwhile, Collei strutted up to Tighnari and tapped his shoulder, the nervous feeling in her stomach increasing. “H—hey master Tighnari. . . Are you busy right now? T—there’s something I want to talk to you about.” She hesitated, her eyes fleeting back to your house every now and then.

The fennec’s ears wiggled as he turned around, immediately noticing her anxious countenance. “No, I’m not. What’s wrong? Is it about (NAME)?” He inquired. He wasn’t certain why you were the first thing that came to mind; maybe because he was already so worried about you. Seing her nod, Tighnari’s stomach flipped upside down. “They’re. . . they’re not doing well, are they?”  

Collei’s eyes glossed over with tears as she shook her head. “I’m worried about them, Master. . . Like really worried. They kept pressing they were okay, but the look in their eyes felt so. . . numb and impassive,” she explained.

Tighnari stressfully sighed as he tried to think of the best way to confront the situation without hurting you. He didn’t want to press you to say anything you weren’t comfortable with, but he also didn’t want you going through this alone. “Alright. Collei, could you take my place in this week’s outings? Normally I would have you watch over them, but I’d rather take care of them myself in this particular case. . .” Requested the boy, his ears drooping as his heart hammered against his chest. Her statement about you having a numb look in your eyes gravely worried him.

“Of course! Do you want me to go tell the others?” 

He nodded, “that’d be great. . . Thanks a lot, Collei.”

Your back pushed against the wall as your head dropped further into your hands. You don’t know why you thought sleeping would magically fix everything. It didn’t help that you felt incredibly abandoned, despite being surrounded by people. People who, deep down inside, you knew cared and would help you without a doubt if you were to just ask. But each time you even considered asking for help, a mocking voice would belittle you for even thinking someone loved you. After hearing it so many times, you think you’d be able to successfully ignore it, but no. Instead, it dragged you farther down inside the grave you put yourself in. And the worse part was that there was no one around to help pull you back up, making the desire to give up increasingly stronger.

“Then why don’t you do it? It’s not like anyone here would care anyways.” A distorted, yet incredibly familiar, voice whispered in your ear.

Lifting your head up to look up, your entire body stiffened as you saw what looked like a hazy deformity of Tighnari. Even though you knew it wasn’t actually him, your mentality was shattered, and so was your sense of reality, so it got into your head with a snap of a finger; what worsened it was that it sounded exactly like him. You closed your eyes and covered your ears, striving to slow your rapid heart rate and clear your mind. “Go away. . .” you thought, fingernails digging into your skin. 

“Why don’t you give up and make everyone’s job easier? You know you aren’t wanted here. Your only chance at being useful is to just rid yourself, so you’re not in everybody’s way.”

Shakily forcing yourself up, you staggered into the kitchen—feeling like the only way to quiet your thoughts was to harm yourself. You promised yourself you wouldn’t put yourself through this again, but you’d instead do that than cave into your thoughts. 

Somehow, you clung to the last drop of hope that lingered inside your head—the hope that desperately called, “hang on just a little longer, and I promise everything’s going to be okay; YOU’RE going to be okay.”

Tighnari ambled to your front door, ears pressed tightly against his head as he knocked. “(NAME)? Can I come in? If you’re feeling well enough to talk, there’s something I’d like to ask. . .” He called gently. His ears flicked up and picked up the sound of your crying. Throat tightening, he knocked again, this time more urgently, hating every second wasted by not being with you. “(NAME), if you don’t open this door, I will find another way in! Let me help you, please!” Shouted the ranger, trying desperately to turn the doorknob. “Fuck this. No way in hell am I leaving them alone in there.” he thought before lock-picking your window and sliding inside.

“(NAME)!” he yelled as he raced inside the kitchen, finding you with a kitchen knife in your hands—blood dripping down your arms and covering the tip of the blade. It felt like a life or death situation as he stepped closer, never once taking his eyes off you. You looked so fragile as if you could completely break at one wrong action or word. “(NAME). . . Please, put—put the knife down.” Tighnari pleaded and bit his lip, trying his best to keep it together for your sake. “I’m here now. You don’t have to bear through this alone any longer. . .”

Your head suddenly fell silent at the sound of his concerned and hopeless tone—a prominent distinction from the one your hallucination had given him. Your strength left your body, and you dropped the knife, tears flooding your (COLOR) eyes and falling down endlessly.

The second the knife hit the floor, Tighnari rushed to your side and dragged you into an embrace, letting you cry into his shoulder. His hand firmly held the back of your head as he rocked you back and forth, terrified you’d drop dead at any moment. He murmured, “it’s okay, rosebud. . . I’m here now. Nothing can hurt you. . .” His turquoise eyes fell to the floor, giving the knife a sharp kick, sending it skating across the floor. Feeling you latch onto his hoodie, he pulled you tighter against him, careful not to hit your bloodied arms. 

Every bottled-up emotion you had exploded just like that—each and every self-destructive thought twisted into a heavy sob. And with each one, your knees caved further and further in til’ you couldn’t stand upright. 

Tighnari was quick to catch you before your body hit the floor, his arms soon finding their way around you again. He stayed quiet, however, pressing small pecks to your forehead to show you that he was there—that he cared. He hadn’t heard such gut-wrenching sobs in all his life, and to hear it from you, his favorite person, made him want to cry. 

After a few minutes, your cries quieted to sniffles, and eventually, you had utterly enfeebled yourself. Tighnari showed a faint smile, “alright, rosebud. I’m going to carry you to my house so I can properly care for your wounds. Close your eyes and rest for a while, okay? I can see how tired you are. . . I’ll be right with you when you first wake, I promise.”

You gave a weak nod and leaned your head against his chest, finally deciding to give your mind and body a proper rest. 

You stirred awake, head throbbing and memories blurred, to the sensation of someone gently patting your face with a cold washcloth. “Hmmn. . .” you muttered groggily, your eyes refusing to open.

“You’re awake. . . How’re you feeling?” Tighnari asked from beside you and set the cloth down, his gaze now fully fixed on you. “Do you need/want anything?”

Your breath hitched as you recalled what happened. Looking down, you noticed your arms, both sore, were neatly swathed in bandages. “I—I feel so numb. I’m—I’m so sorry, Tighnari. . .”

He shook his head and handed you a cup of a calming tea he had put together. “Rosebud, please. You have no reason to apologize. I should be the one saying sorry. I felt something was off with you and brushed it off.” He lamented, carefully caressing your cheek and brushing away the tears in your eyes. “You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, okay? Just know that you’re safe here—both from the outside and yourself. Nothing’s happening to you under my watch.”

You took a trembling breath as you sipped the tea. The intensity of his love made you feel small as he stared at you. “I’m sorry I never told you of my past with this. . . I promised myself I wouldn’t do it again, but everything got so loud—my thoughts, the world, everything. It hurt so much, Tighnari. . . So much that it manifested a hallucination of you. I—I was so scared and so alone. I tried so hard to cry for help, but it was like I lost my ability to talk. . .” You described.

Tighnari’s large ears twitched slightly as he carefully listened to every word you expressed, ensuring he understood everything before offering input. As he pondered what to say, his eyes dropped to your bandaged arms. The idea you’ve already gone through this process alone made him sick.

He mused, “(NAME) it’s your story to tell, not mine. In no way am I mad at you for not telling me of this sooner. . . I’m proud of you for speaking about it even now, given it’s something you’d rather not reminisce about. . .”

“I can tell by looking at you that you’ve been through so much. I know you might think otherwise, but you’re so strong. Despite going through hell and back, you remain incredibly empathetic and caring. Do you know how impressive that is?   

“I can guarantee you that whatever bullshit your mind fed these last three days is only food for your depression; that’s it. I can’t stress enough how much everyone here adores you—including me. rosebud, you’re so incredibly beautiful, from the inside and out. The way you flourish and flower is something I wish I could see every day. The thought of you wilting, let alone by your own hands, terrifies me. Archons, (NAME), you might not see it, but you’re perfect in every way.”

Tighnari finished and kissed the pads of your fingers, watching as your eyes glazed over with tears.

Each word echoed in your head until your mentality began to heal. You hadn’t realized how badly you needed to feel someone’s arms around you until he pulled you in his and kissed away the tears that fell from your (COLOR) eyes. 

You rested your head against his chest, racking through your brain to try and think of something to say. “What—what did you mean when you said you adored me. . .?” You mumbled. “Really (NAME)? That’s what you come up with?” 

Tighnari laughed warmly as his fingers smoothed your (COLOR) hair. “Is that what’s gotten you so quiet? Well, rosebud, I mean exactly what I say. I adore you. Collei always tells me how obvious my feelings for you are, but I didn’t want to rush anything between us, especially with how you’re feeling now. But I have an inkling that the reason why your depression chose me to manifest is because you feel the same. . .” He cooed.

You fell silent as thoughts swarmed your mind, none of which proved helpful in your situation. “Come on, (NAME)! Say something!” you thought and bit your lip. “Y—you might be right. . .” you replied quietly, slipping your fingers into his.

Tighnari smiled and pressed his lips to the back of your hand. “That so? Good, because I took the rest of the week off to look after you, and you’re going to stay at my house for that time.”

“That’s fine with me, but where am I going to sleep? I—I don’t want to kick you off your bed. . .” You wondered.

He chuckled, tail wrapping around your waist comfortably. “You’re sleeping with me, silly. That way, I can keep an eye on you and make sure you’re sleeping alright. Judging by the circles under your eyes, you’ve been struggling. . .” He hummed and started to rub circles on your side. “I already moved most of your things here while you slept; do you have anything that helps you sleep better at night? I’m going to have you drink a calming tea beforehand, but do you have a certain routine you need to do?”

You smiled a genuine smile, his calming and caring demeanor soothing your doubts. “No. . . I think having you by my side will be enough. . . Thank you, Tighnari. I—I appreciate it so much.”

“Oh, (NAME). . . You don’t have to thank me in the slightest. I’d do this 10 times over if you asked. I’d do just about anything for you. . .”

[lovelyney]

─────────𝐀 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐎𝐓𝐔𝐒──────

DESC: “Maybe he shouldn’t have hidden his feelings behind harsh words and accusations,” he thought as he stared at your lifeless body.

PAIRINGS: Tighnari x (GN!) Reader

SCENT: angst

WARNINGS: hanahaki, throwing up, blood, tighnari’s a dick, dead dove do not eat.

GOOD ENDING.

FLORIST’S NOTE: here it is! finally. also, autosave feature? bless u, tumblr gods.

FLORIST’S NOTE﹙02﹚: uh Fawn here a few months after this was published </3 i'm super flattered you all like this so much; truthfully, i'm very insecure about my ability to write good angst, so it means so much!!

SONG: Secret Garden ― Empath-P

YOU OBSERVED WITH DEFEATED EYES as Tighnari, yet again, swaddled your hands in gauze. You tried to take out a Withering Zone by yourself, wanting to help clear his schedule. However, despite having a vision of your own, you weren’t very familiar with the process and ended up getting hurt, much to the forest ranger’s dismay. 

Your throat ran dry as you struggled to find the right words to say without upsetting him more. It was clear he was about to snap at any moment, so you chose to stay silent, despite your anxiety eating away at the stillness.

“(NAME) for the last time, stop biting off more than you can chew,” the fox-eared boy berated, his gaze as bitter as the medicine he brews. “What was the point in bothering with something you clearly had no idea how to deal with? were you begging for a death wish?” 

You swallowed thickly, your stomach churning as he awaited your response. “My only intention was to take some of the burdens off your shoulders. . .” You answered feebly.

With an exasperated sigh, he rubbed his temples in frustration. “So you wanted to help me and ended up doing the exact opposite? Yeah, that sounds about right. 

“(NAME) this is what? The fifth time you’ve gotten yourself hurt trying to ‘help?’ Don’t you realize you’re only making things harder for the both of us?” Tighnari crossed his arms against his chest, growing more impatient with you by the minute. “Achons, we’re going to run out of medical supplies if you keep getting into situations like these. Can’t you learn to take a hint?” 

The harsh tone of his voice engulfed you in shame, his words ripping your heart into shreds. “I—I just—” your attempt to defend yourself was met with the burning stare of his multicolored eyes. 

He chastised, “save it, (NAME). You give me the same exact excuse every. single. time. Taking care of you like this again is already a migraine as it is.” With that, he packed the medical supplies into his backpack, not sparing you another glance. 

Tighnari criticizing and reminding you how all you do is pull everyone down had become routine by this point. He never told you directly that burdened everyone, yet he clearly didn’t care about hurting your feelings, so you never understood why he didn’t just give it to you straight.

He never acted so rashly to the other trainees, so it led you to believe that it was personal. That said, you don’t know what you did to make him hate you so much. And to add salt to the wound, you admired Tighnari a lot. Hidden beneath his sarcastic nature, he was diligent and dedicated to his work. You could tell he cared for everyone within the confines of the forest, although you highly doubted that to be your case. 

As you carefully observed him, you not-so-surprisingly developed feelings for him. You find it hard to believe now, but he treated you gently when you first met him. That memory felt so foreign after all he did was suffocate you with his accusations. Since then, you shoveled your feelings into the very back of your mind. 

“Are you even listening, (NAME)?” badgered Tighnari, snapping you out of your depressive reverie. 

Nodding slowly, you chewed the inside of your cheek, feeling your emotions consume you from the inside out. “Y—Yes, of course, Master. . .” 

“Really? Because ever since I got here, you’ve done nothing but stare at the ground helplessly.” He shook his head and sighed in defeat, “whatever. It’s not like you ever heed my advice anyways.

“Collei and I are going to be gone for a few days on an expedition. You are not to leave Gandhara Ville until I return. Do I make myself clear?” he said, his large ears flicking in aggravation.

That immediately grabbed your attention as your eyes shot open. You deflected, “I—I’m sorry?! Tighnari, I get that you’re mad at me and all, but I am not a child! I don’t need supervision!” Your face burned hot with humiliation as tears formed in your eyes. 

Tighnari’s eyes softened briefly at your defeated expression before returning to their normal venomous state. “Then quit giving me a reason to treat you like one, (NAME). Now, I’ll be taking my leave.” Before you could answer, he left your room, leaving you alone in your misery. 

After a few minutes of silence, Collei wandered in, her gaze saddening as she regarded your trembling figure. “Oh, (NAME). . .” She lamented and sat next to you, gingerly wrapping her arms around you. “I’m—I’m sorry. . . I don’t know why he’s been treating you so horribly lately; he’s usually never like this. . .” Muttered the girl as she rubbed circles on your back. “I’ll talk to him, o-okay? Please don’t cry. . .” 

Withdrawing from your friend’s hold, you rubbed away your tears with a forced smile in hopes of comforting her. “Don’t worry about me, Collei. I’ll—I’ll be alright,” you soothed, your weakened voice revealing the truth behind your words. 

Tighnari peeked his head over the opening, swallowing thickly when he noticed your tear-stained cheeks. “Collei, come with me, would you? I need to have a word with you.” He dictated, averting his regard away from you.

The girl perked up, “y—yes, Master!” She stood up and turned to you, carefully bringing your head to her chest once more. “I’ll figure something out, okay? D—Don’t worry,” she assured before bidding you goodbye and following Tighnari out. 

After the two left your line of sight, your throat and chest tightened. Scrambling into the bathroom, you stumbled over, suddenly coughing violently. You wiped the sweat from your temple, sighing in relief when it ceased. “What caused that I wonder?” You questioned and fluttered open your eyes. While staring downward at what appeared to be lotus petals, you suddenly felt overwhelming dizzy. Had it gotten that bad?

Your hands clutched your chest as bile burned your esophagus. You weakly shoved yourself up and flushed the toilet. You knew that hanahaki was life-threatening if not treated immediately. However, confessing seemed impossible given the circumstances of your relationship and who you’re in love with. Your other option was to have it surgically removed, but that also meant removing your capability to feel emotions. Nevertheless, you wanted to be a forest ranger like Tighnari and help people, so you’d much rather die of the flower that bloomed in your chest than be an empty husk and not feel anything. 

Laying on your bed, you watched Tighnari and Collei converse—probably about your probation if you were to be completely honest. You let out a meek laugh and closed your eyes, allowing your body and mind some well-deserved rest.

“Maybe if this disease takes me, I won’t burden him anymore. . .”

The following morning was horrible. Following your wake-up, you had to race to the bathroom to throw up again; your lungs and chest burned from how fierce the fits were. Making matters worse, you got far from enough sleep because of the feeling of lotuses climbing your throat.

“(NAME)? It’s Collei! I just wanted to check on you before Master and I head out!”

Your eyes flew open at your friend’s voice. Shit. She wouldn’t take this well at all. Quickly flushing the toilet, you grabbed a towel and patted your face dry, hoping your tiredness wasn’t evident. 

“(NAME)? Are—are you alright?” She worried and walked into your bedroom. Her expression dimmed upon taking in your condition. “You look so tired! Did you not get enough sleep?” Fuck.

You compelled a weak smile, “I—I’m fine! Don’t worry about me, I’m just a little—” Your sentence stopped midway as you covered your mouth, hacking up more bloodied petals. Your hanahaki did not seem to appreciate you lying about your feelings for the sake of others. 

Collei paled immensely, her hand going to mimic your own. “(NAME). . . You—you’re. . .” Tears welled in her rose-colored eyes as she watched you recover. “We have to tell—”

“NO!” you interjected sharply. Sighing, you let out a quiet apology. “I—I’m sorry. . . I didn’t mean to yell like that. I just. . . please don’t tell Tighnari.” You muttered, voice enfeebled from your lack of sleep.

“B—But, (NAME). . . If y-you don’t get help. . .” 

“I know. But I don’t think I can take any more of his disdains. especially when he’s—” You, or rather the hanahaki, cut you off as more petals emerged from your throat and onto your shaking hands.  

Seeing the connection, her eyes softened. She lamented, “oh, (NAME). . . You like him, don’t you?” Her arms circled around you, “please, I—I don’t want to lose you. I promise I’ll talk him into apologizing! You don’t deserve this. . .”

Shaking your head, you gently patted the girl’s hair, her heartfelt words shattering your heart furthermore. “Collei, I—I’m not sure I can promise anything at this rate. . .” You imparted. “I’m not sure if Tighnari is someone you can reason with, as well. . .” 

“Collei? It’s time to go,” Tighnari announced from outside. Speak of the devil, and he shall appear. . .

The green-haired girl pulled away from you, looking at your (COLOR) eyes with her own pleading ones. “Everything will be alright, okay? I promise. . .” She sniffled.

You nodded despite your views contradicting hers. Watching her leave, your gaze, hopeless and cold, flickered to Tighnari. You couldn’t help but wonder what occupied his mind; has he even thought of you and how you felt once? Probably not. 

The fox-eared ranger caught a glimpse of your eyes and shivered; that’s right, shivered. The way they looked so dull put a pit in his stomach, and he couldn’t tell why at the time. He looked at his student curiously, “what were you two talking about?”

Collei sighed, “i-it was nothing, Master. . .” 

The realization that you didn’t have much time left dawned on you as you gazed in the mirror. Your once bright and lively eyes were now dulled and impassive, almost as if you’d already gotten the surgery. You heeded Tighnari’s words, staying locked inside your hut and not bothering anybody. After all, that’s what he wanted, right?

Your condition worsened faster than you initially hoped. Every day and night, you retched at least five blood-covered lotuses, leaving you more weakened than the last. You couldn’t even estimate how much blood you had lost by now. With each passing second, your life slipped from your fingers like grains of sand. It seemed to tease you with the thought of death, never actually finishing you off—until now. In most cases, people have at least a few weeks to make the choice; you, unfortunately, did not with how fast your feelings developed. 

Reaching up, you wiped the blood from your lips, leaving a metallic taste in your mouth. Normally you would be grossed out by it, but it was almost comforting by now because it signaled you didn’t have to endure this pain much longer.

You staggered to your desk and pulled out a few things: an envelope, a piece of paper, and a quill. Your fingers trembled as you dipped the feather in ink and scrawled the name ‘Tighnari’ on the envelope. He’d admonish you for the handwriting, but when you’re on death’s doorstep, you can’t really expect perfect writing, can you?

With an unstable breath, you began composing the letter with all the energy you could gather.

“Dear, Master Tighnari. . .”

Tighnari took a deep breath as the faint outline of Gandhara Ville came into his field of vision. Ever since had and Collei finished the expedition, this dreadful feeling like something horrible happened stuck to him like a leech. And no matter what he did, it continued to suck the energy out of him. In retrospect, he’s had this feeling since he left. Worse part about it? He couldn’t figure out why; it’s like he could sense an anomaly but couldn’t see it. 

Collei quickly picked on her teacher’s anxiety and flashed a smile, hoping to comfort him. “M—Master, I’m sure everything will be fine! You know how nice (NAME) is! I’m—I’m sure they’ll forgive you! they’re normally so sweet no matter the circumstances!” She encouraged, though, deep within her mind, she was scared herself. She knew how much his words impacted you.

Tighnari dragged out a sigh, his fingers going through his dark hair. “That’s. . . That’s the problem, Collei. I. . . I treated them so fucking awful, and all they did was sit there and take it they didn’t dare speak up,” he seethed, wincing as he recalled the look in your eyes before they departed. “Archons, who knows if they’ll find it in their heart to even forgive me? I treated them like a toddler when I really meant to protect them. God, my delivery was fucking horrid, wasn’t it? I really messed this up.” He looked at Collei with defeated eyes, “That’s what you were talking to them about, wasn’t it? How vile I treated them. That’s why they were crying the other day.”  

The trainee harshly bit her lip, knowing that’s exactly what happened. She knew that he treated you like a weed in a garden full of lotuses when in reality, you were the flowers themself. And now, with your hanahaki, Celestia knows how much pain you must be in—both physically and emotionally. 

Only then did she remember that you had gotten hanahaki the day they left, and her heart sank. She swallowed hard, feeling her heart weigh heavy in her chest as it pounded against her ribcage. “Um, M—Master Tighnari. . .” she quavered.

He glanced her way, the pit in his stomach swallowing him whole when he regarded how horrified she appeared to be.  “Hm? What’s the matter, Collei?” Inquired the boy, his ears flickering in nervous anticipation. Oh god, did something actually happen to you? 

“I—I normally wouldn’t ask of you something like this, but please, when we get back, g-go check on them? They’re. . . they’re not well. . . ” She uttered aside, her voice wobbling as if she was on the brink of tears.

Her words confirmed Tighnari’s initial thoughts; there was something wrong. “Collei. . . what happened?” he spoke curtly. Hearing no answer, his chest tightened, and he could hear his breathing pick up. “Collei. Tell me now. I need to know if they’re in danger.” His voice rattled as he communicated, his anxiety clawing at his every thought. 

Collei’s shoulders shook with small sobs, “(NAME). . . They—they have Hanahaki. They didn’t want me to tell you because t-they hic knew you’d yell at them in some sort of way. . . A-and they’ve had it for a few days now and—”

“—Collei, I need you to be honest with me. Does (NAME) have romantic feelings for me?”

Glancing up at her teacher with a pitiful expression, she wiped her eyes with her sleeves. “Yes, Master, t—they do. . . I believe they have for a while,” she sniveled.

“Fuck.” He muttered and sprinted towards the ville, leaving poor Collei behind. However, at that time, I don’t think she minded; she recognized that he needed to find you as soon as possible—to save you. 

Pushing past everyone in the village, he shoved himself inside your hut. “(N-NAME)?! Are—are you here? We—we need to talk!” He called out, his voice breaking from breathing so heavily. “(NAME). . .?”

……

“Shit, shit! (NAME), where—where did you go now. . .” fretted Tighnari, his mind racing with every outcome possible. His eyes caught onto a wax-sealed envelope that sat neatly on your dresser. He picked it up and felt an overwhelming sense of dread wash over him as he stared at it. “It’s addressed to me. . .”

“ Dear Master Tighnari, 

As much as it hurts to me say this, but by the time you’ve finished reading this, I’ll have passed away. I don’t quite know what to put in this letter. . . Even as I’m writing this, my mind is blanking. I feel like there’s so much I have to say, but unfortunately, I don’t have much time before this disease takes its final toll on me.

I’m sure Collei’s told you by now of my hanahaki. I don’t blame her; the poor girl looked like she would pass out when she found me puking flowers. I know what you’re thinking, “(NAME), you lummox. So you’d rather just sit and watch yourself die than confess?” Well, Tighnari, would YOU confess to someone who’s admitted you’re nothing but a thorn in their side? If you haven’t figured it out by now, it’s you who I’m in love with. Have been for a while now. 

I must apologize for plaguing both you and everyone in Gandhara Ville. That was never my intention; I only wanted to repay the kindness everyone gave me, no matter if it cost my life or not. But, unfortunately, as you said, I ended up doing the entire opposite. And for that, I sincerely apologize. I wish I could take it all back. 

I hope you know that despite everything, I don’t harbor any negative feelings toward you. And maybe, in a different reality, things wouldn’t have turned out like this. 

Did you know that I’ve admired you from day one? And I’ll continue to do so in the afterlife. You’re genuinely incredible in my eyes; you’re diligent and passionate, everything I wished I was. You’re incredibly dedicated to the forest, which is admirable. And I supposed that’s why I fell so incredibly hard for you. Maybe you knew I loved you; maybe you didn’t. It’s all meaningless now that I lay on my deathbed made out of my own flowers. It’s strangely comforting, even though I’ve lived far from a fulfilling life. 

I honestly didn’t think my feelings had gotten this bad; I thought I had successfully pushed them away for the greater good. But, with how fast the hanahaki materialized, it seems I unestimated myself. That proves just how much I truly adored you. Never doubt your capabilities, alright? You’re truly unique, Tighnari.

This is where we part, my dear fox friend. My strength is running out, and so is the ink. Once more, I’m truly sorry for all the pain I’ve caused; I hope you can find it in you to forgive me. Please take care of Collei for me? Tell her I’m sorry I couldn’t make it; Celestia knows I tried to push through for her.

I love you, Tighnari. My love will continue to bloom for you in the form of lotus flowers. So, whenever you see one, I hope you think of me and how much I admired you. (: 

Yours Truly, (NAME). ”

The words blurred together as tears muddied Tighnari’s vision. Every written word cut deeper and deeper, but he forced himself to read it all. At first, he thought it was staged or a joke of some sort, and a part of him wished it was, but he could recognize your handwriting from a mile away. “No, no. . . this cannot be happening. . . They can’t be—” he thought to himself as he pocketed the note. He seethed, “FUCK! Where could they have gone?!” He pulled his hair stressfully as he wracked his brain for answers.

“My love will continue to bloom for you in the form of lotus flowers.”

His eyes snapped open when it clicked—the river not too far from here was known for the lotuses that bloomed in it. You couldn’t have gone far either, not in your condition, at least. 

Tighnari hurriedly sped out of the ville, ignoring everyone’s worried stares. “Please don’t be too late please be alive.” He prayed silently. He halted and surveyed the familiar spot, spotting a figure lying near the river’s shallows. he uttered, “(N—NAME). . .?”

Stumbling over, his pretty eyes drowned in tears the second he laid eyes on you. You were sprawled out, bloodied flowers sticking to your lifeless body. Blood smeared on your lips and fingers, and thank the Archons, your eyes were closed, or else Tighnari would’ve gone into cardiac arrest from crying so hard.

He collapsed at your side, cradling your face in his hands; the warmth of his palms contrasted with the chill of your skin. Shaking his head in denial, he thumbed at your face hoping to find some kind of reaction that proved you were still alive. “No, no, NO! Come on, (NAME)! W—wake up! You c-can’t. . .” He hiccuped. 

Tighnari gathered you in his arms, concealing his face in the crook of your neck to hide how hard he sobbed. “I. . . I’m so sorry, flower. T—This is all my fault. . . I-If I would’ve just told you how I felt instead of being a moron, then none of this would’ve happened—you wouldn’t have. . .” A sob strangled his throat and cut off his words.

“I—I thought I was protecting you from yourself. . . B-but I somehow did the exact opposite. I was the cause of your pain, and because of how shitty I treated you, you feared telling me how you felt. I. . . I’m so sorry, (NAME). Y-you didn’t deserve to go through so much pain alone.”   

“Master, I heard—o-oh my god.” 

Collei’s eyes rounded in horror, her figure starting to tremble as the situation settled in her head. “(N-NAME). . .” she croaked and dropped next to Tighnari, her hands shakily finding yours. Like her mentor, she was quick to shake her head in denial. “N—no. . . They can’t be. . . How—how did it—” bewailed the girl as her hand squeezed your fragile one. She turned to Tighnari, who looked to be on the verge of passing out from crying so hard. “M—Master, they’re. . . they’re not, r-right? They can’t be. . .”

The ranger shakily pulled out the letter and handed it to her, watching as the girl sobbed harder at its contents. “T—They found comfort in their death because of how much pain they were in. . .” He murmured weakly. As he pressed a kiss to your hair, he noticed that your fingers grasped something.  

Tighnari gingerly grabbed your hand and unraveled your fingers from what you held. A singular clean lotus. He smiled, weak and faint, plucking the lotus from your grip and tucking it in his hair—a memento of your love for him and his love for you. 

“My love for you will continue to blossom in life and in death. . . N—no matter where you are, you will be the first and last my heart is occupied with. There’s no room left for anyone else, flower. . . There never was in the beginning.

“I will look at each and every flower and think of how selfless and caring you were. Your love and dedication will continue to burn bright in Gandhara Ville. I will make sure of it. . .” 

[lovelyney]

─────────𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐔𝐋𝐋 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐌─────────

DESC: Too blinded by his worry, Tighnari fails to see the damage he’s done until directly confronted by it.

PAIRINGS: Tighnari x (GN!) Reader

SCENT: angst -> fluff

WARNINGS: hanahaki disease, throwing up, blood, tighnari’s a dick at first.

BAD ENDING.

FLORIST’S NOTE: a couple of things! 1: the first day remains mostly the same as the bad ending, the ending of it is different! i wanted to keep it in just in case someone’s not good with angst and just wanted to read the good ending. and 2: there’s a bigger time skip between the first day and the time they leave the forest for plot purposes.

SONG: Tek It ― Cafunè

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯2022 !! #©LOVELYNEY

YOU OBSERVED WITH DEFEATED EYES as Tighnari, yet again, swaddled your hands in gauze. You tried to take out a Withering Zone by yourself, wanting to help clear his schedule. However, despite having a vision of your own, you weren’t very familiar with the process and ended up getting hurt, much to the forest ranger’s dismay.

Your throat ran dry as you struggled to find the right words to say without upsetting him more. It was clear he was about to snap at any moment, so you chose to stay silent, despite your anxiety eating away at the stillness.

“(NAME) for the last time, stop biting off more than you can chew,” the fox-eared boy berated, his gaze as bitter as the medicine he brews. “What was the point in bothering with something you clearly had no idea how to deal with? Were you begging for a death wish?” 

You swallowed thickly, your stomach churning as he awaited your response. “My only intention was to take some of the burdens off your shoulders. . .” You answered feebly.

With an exasperated sigh, he rubbed his temples in frustration. “So you wanted to help me and ended up doing the exact opposite? Yeah, that sounds about right.

“(NAME) this is what? The fifth time you’ve gotten yourself hurt trying to ‘help?’ Don’t you realize you’re only making things harder for the both of us?” Tighnari crossed his arms against his chest, growing more impatient with you by the minute. “Archons, we’re going to run out of medical supplies if you keep getting into situations like these. Can’t you learn to take a hint?”   

The harsh tone of his voice engulfed you in shame, his words ripping your heart into shreds. “I-I just—” your attempt to defend yourself was met with the burning stare of his multicolored eyes. 

He chastised, “save it, (NAME). You give me the same exact excuse every. single. time. Taking care of you like this again is already a migraine as it is.” With that, he packed the medical supplies into his backpack, not sparing you another glance.

Tighnari criticizing and reminding you how all you do is pull everyone down had become routine by this point. He never told you directly told you burdened everyone, yet he clearly didn’t care about hurting your feelings, so you never understood why he didn’t just give it to you straight.

He never acted so rashly to the other trainees, so it led you to believe that it was personal. That said, you don’t know what you did to make him hate you so much. And to add salt to the wound, you admired Tighnari a lot. Hidden beneath his sarcastic nature, he was diligent and dedicated to his work. You could tell he cared for everyone within the confines of the forest, although you highly doubted that to be your case. 

As you carefully observed him, you not-so-surprisingly developed feelings for him. You find it hard to believe now, but he treated you gently when you first met him—by the river not too far from the ville. That memory felt so foreign after all he did was suffocate you with his accusations. Since then, you shoveled your feelings into the very back of your mind. 

“Are you even listening, (NAME)?” badgered Tighnari, snapping you out of your depressive reverie.

Nodding slowly, you chewed the inside of your cheek, feeling your emotions consume you from the inside out. “Y—Yes, of course, Master. . .”

“Really? Because ever since I got here, you’ve done nothing but stare at the ground helplessly.” He shook his head and sighed in defeat, “whatever. It’s not like you ever heed my advice anyways.

“Collei and I are going to be gone for a few days on an expedition. You are not to leave Gandhara Ville until i return. Do I make myself clear?” He said, his large ears flicking in aggravation.

That immediately grabbed your attention as your eyes shot open. You deflected, “I—I’m sorry?! Tighnari, I get that you’re mad at me and all, but I am not a child! I don’t need supervision!” Your face burned hot with humiliation as tears formed in your eyes. 

Tighnari’s eyes softened briefly at your defeated expression before returning to their normal venomous state. “Then quit giving me a reason to treat you like one, (NAME). Now, I’ll be taking my leave.” Before you could answer, he left your room, leaving you alone in your misery. 

After a few minutes of silence, Collei wandered in, her gaze saddening as she regarded your trembling figure. “Oh, (NAME). . .” she lamented and sat next to you, gingerly wrapping her arms around you. “I’m—I’m sorry. . . I don’t know why he’s been treating you so horribly lately; he’s usually never like this. . .” Muttered the girl as she rubbed circles on your back. “I’ll talk to him, o—okay? Please don’t cry. . .” 

She perked up, an idea crossing her mind. “S—say, I have an idea! Why don’t I convince him t-to let you take my place?” She recommended, holding carefully onto your hands—a hopeful shimmer in her rose-colored eyes.

Withdrawing from your friend’s hold, you rubbed away your tears with a seemingly confused expression. “Convince him to let me take your place? Do—do you mean on the expedition in a few days?” You queried. 

Collei nodded enthusiastically; her blue facade crumbled, now replaced with one of a child’s excitement. “Yeah! I’ll say that something important came up, and I can’t go!” Exclaimed the girl. 

You were about to protest, but it was the equivalent of kicking a kitten, given how optimistic she looked. “How do you know he’ll even let me go? He clearly made it evident that all i do is cause trouble. . .” You muttered, your mind replaying his exact words.

Your friend laid her hand on your shoulder, her eyes full of determination. “You leave that part to me, ok? Don’t worry about the small details.”

Tighnari peeked his head over the opening, swallowing thickly when he noticed your tear-stained cheeks. “Collei, come with me, would you? I need to have a word with you.” He dictated.

The girl stood up, “y—yes, Master!” She stood up and turned to you, carefully bringing your head to her chest once more. “Get some rest, ok? I’ll have everything figured out.” She assured before bidding you goodbye and following Tighnari out. 

After the two left your line of sight, your throat and chest tightened. Scrambling into the bathroom, you stumbled over, suddenly coughing violently. You wiped the sweat from your temple, sighing in relief when it ceased. “What brought that up?” You questioned and fluttered open your eyes. While staring downward at what appeared to be lotus petals, you suddenly felt overwhelming dizzy. Had it gotten that bad?

Your hands clutched your chest as acid burned your esophagus. You weakly shoved yourself up and flushed the toilet. You knew that hanahaki was life-threatening if not treated immediately. However, confessing seemed impossible given the circumstances of your relationship and who you’re in love with. Your other option was to have it surgically removed, but that also meant removing your capability to feel emotions. Nevertheless, you wanted to be a forest ranger like Tighnari and help people, so you’d much rather die of the flower that bloomed in your chest than be an empty husk and not feel anything. 

Laying on your bed, you watched Tighnari and Collei converse—probably about your probation if you were to be completely honest. You let out a meek laugh and closed your eyes, allowing your body and mind some well-deserved rest.

Meanwhile, Collei anxiously turned to her teacher as they surveyed Gandhara Ville. “U—Um, Master Tighnari. . . You know that trip you mentioned in a few days?” She buzzed. 

Tighnari’s ears twitched slightly at the question. “Yes? What about it?” He asked, drawing out the s in suspicion. 

Rubbing the back of her neck, she nibbled on her lip and thought about how to say it. “Well, something important came up, and I don’t think I can go. . . I-I’m sorry for the trouble! I usually brush something like this off and come back to it, but unfortunately, it’s something that can’t be pushed to the side.” She disclosed.

Tighnari arched an eyebrow, staring at the girl with curious eyes—ears flickering alongside his curiosity. “Is that what’s making you so nervous? Ever since we left (NAME)’s house, you’ve been awfully silent. I thought they maybe said something—”

“N—no! Not at all!” she butted in, causing the boy’s eyes to blink in shock. Her face flushed in humiliation at her own outburst. “S—sorry! I didn’t mean to raise my voice ike that. . .” Uttered Collei, her head lowered in embarrassment. “I don’t think (NAME) has it in them to be rude. . . Speaking of which, M—Master, I think you’re being too hard on them.”

His ears lowered, a sudden pang of guilt hitting him harder than expected. Collei typically never commented on how he acted toward others. So, to hear her comment on how he treated you, alongside his additional guilt that he also thought he was being too cutthroat with you. . .

He huffed, “. . .is that what this is about? (NAME)? Well, maybe they should learn to stop burying themself in other peoples’ work. . . They’re only making things worse.”  

The trainee winced at his sharp tongue—hearing a sliver of it herself had her wandering just how bad it had gotten to dissolve you into tears. Whatever it might’ve been, it only encouraged her more to fix the root of the problem, that being, of course, Tighnari.

“M—Master, I typically don’t intervene when it comes to your work. But (NAME)’s a really close and great friend of mine. I don’t know if you’ve personally witnessed it, but they jump at the idea of helping anyone out.

“All they want to do is help. Whether or not it works doesn’t matter to them. Even within the confines of Gandhara Ville, they’re known for helping everyone. T—They. . . I found them crying after you walked out. They looked so. . . exhausted like they were on the verge of completely breaking. I’m scared that if you continue treating them like this, they’re just gonna. . . give up completely.” 

Tighnari felt his throat tighten. “She can’t be suggesting. . .”The fox ranger quickly shook his head free of the thought, feeling his stomach flip upside down at the image. Hearing that his remarks caused you so much mental torment was enough to impale a stake through his heart, so much so that he physically felt it in his chest. 

He harshly bit down on his lip, his sharp fangs causing it to draw blood. “What’re you suggesting I do?” he questioned—desperately (yet, not so evidently) seeking advice. Given his true feelings for you, he did not want you to think he hated you. However having said that, he figured it was too late for that part.

In a feeling of relief, Collei let out a breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. “Well, have them take my place when you guys leave, for starters? See for yourself just how willing they are to put themselves on the line for others. A—and if you’re up for it, talk to them.” She proffered.

Tighnari nodded hesitantly and repeated everything inside his mind to ensure he hadn’t missed anything. After all, not repeating his past mistakes would be vital for this to work. “Alright, I’ll see what I can do. . .”

A couple of days in, you, Tighnari, and a couple of other forest rangers were deep inside Avidya Forest, training to rid the Withering Zone nearby. Well, besides you, that is. Even though Tighnari OFFERED, that’s right, he offered you to come and help. Normally, you’d jump at the idea of helping others, but your hanahaki drained all of your energy and strength. Every time it acted up, you’d lose a lot of blood, making you light-headed. So, you opted to let them do it so as to not drag them down.

Somehow and in some way, you managed to hide the disease from everyone so far. It definitely wasn’t the easiest thing to hide, given you’re literally coughing up flower petals, but you’d hide somewhere if you sensed it coming on.

“[in between breaths] (NAME)! (NAME)! Oh, thank the Archons, you’re still here! We—we need your help!” Ishan spluttered, breaking into coughs from panting so hard. 

You jolted at the eagerness in his voice. “Woah—woah, what happened?” You worried and rushed over to him, one of your hands already on your weapon.

“There’s a-a—” the male choked on his breath as concern washed over your features.

You gently put your hand on his shoulder, trying to help steady his breathing. “Hey, hey. . . Breathe for me, ok bud? In and out. Start from the beginning.” You spoke softly, despite the deep fear pulsating in your chest. 

Ishan quickly collected himself before standing upright, panic clouded in his dark eyes. “W—We were collecting mushrooms as per Tighnari’s request, but then we came across a hilachurl camp. . . W—we thought it was empty, but then a ruin guard c-came out of the blue and—”

You indistinctively pulled out your bow at those words; you didn’t need to hear anything else. “Alright, let’s go. There’s no time to waste,” you instructed, your voice as curt as tighnari’s. he nodded, quickly leading the way to the ambush. 

Upon arrival, your eyes flew open as the ruin guard aimed right at one of the rangers. Using your anemo vision, you boosted yourself in the air and shot in before it could land a hit. 

“(N—NAME)!” the other rangers yelled as you landed on the ground with a thud. They quickly hurried behind you, not the most equipped to take on a ruin guard. 

You grit your teeth and lock your stare onto the enemy—something that Tighnari taught you. “Everyone get out of here! It’s not safe!” You urged, fingers tightening around your bow. 

“We—we can’t just leave you here!” Nasrin reasoned.

Sternly glaring at them, you shot another arrow to hold the ruin guard at bay—something that’s uncommon for you, someone who’s naturally so kind and gentle.

“I’ll be fine! now, go! hurry and find Tighnari!” you asserted, your vision glowing with your determination. 

They all looked at each other before nodding and scurrying off to find the fox ranger. Fortunately, he was already at their base camp, looking for everyone.

“Ah, there you guys are! I started to think that you all abandoned the mission.” He sighed, ears flattened against his hair. “Where have you all been any—”

“T—Tighnari! It’s-it’s (NAME)! They’re. . . they’re—” Nasrin wheezed, her panic overcoming her ability to speak correctly.

Tighnari’s heart sunk to his stomach at the mention of your name. “Woah, woah. Calm down, Nasrin. What about (NAME)? Where are they?” He questioned.

“They’re fighting a ruin guard alone! I—Ishan ran to find them after it attacked us, and when they got there, t-they told us to leave and f-find you. . .” The girl hiccuped. 

“Tighnari, you have to help them! In no way is (NAME) weak, but it’s dangerous fighting one of those alone!” Kamran, who was next to Nasrin, contended.

Without another word, Tighnari pulled out his bow, wincing when he recollected Collei’s words. “Goddamnit.” He grumbled under his breath as his fingers pushed his bangs back. “Alright, point me in the direction of where they are. Everyone stay here until I get back,” he ordered before hurrying off. “God, (NAME). Please be ok.”

Tighnari’s boots slid across the grass as he halted to a stop. His eyes widened and landed on you, who was hanging on by a thread. As soon as he reached you, he grabbed and shoved you behind him. Pulling out his bow, he aimed the arrow right at the ruin guard’s core—shooting and finishing it off.

He sighed in relief, the adrenaline starting to wear off now that you were out of harm’s way. “Thank the seven. . .” he uttered and wiped the sweat off his forehead.

[cough, cough.]

Tighnari’s ears twitched at the abrupt sound. “(NAME)? Are you alrigh—” His sentence drifted off as he noticed the blood-covered petals you held and the deep laceration on your leg. Swaying onwards, you fell forward, Tighnari catching you before you hit the ground. 

“Hey, hey! Hang in there, flower! I’m gonna carry you back to camp!” He reassured and carefully lifted you in his arms, careful not to irritate your injury furthermore. Tighnari hurried back, forcing himself to look away whenever you hacked more flowers. “Everyone! You need to head back to Gandhara Ville and get Collei and Shirin! HURRY!” He demanded urgently. 

Everyone immediately got up and ran—recognizing that Tighnari, who usually never panics, was panicking.

Tighnari sat down, cradling you in his lap. “You still with me, flower?” He whispered as he pulled out the medical supplies they brought—certainly not enough to properly treat your wound, but it was going to have to do. 

You wiped the corners of your lips and nodded weakly. The gentleness that he showed might have made you jump with joy if you weren’t on the verge of death. 

He sighed in relief, “good, good. . . Try to keep your eyes on me, mk? This is gonna hurt for a moment, but I need to get this treated before it has any chance of infection.” He gingerly wrapped your leg in gauze, his heart cracking when he noticed your pained expression.

“Alright, it’s done. There’s that dealt with,” Tighnari stressed as he tousled his hair. His gaze lingered on the bloodied petals that lay on your chest. He picked one up and gently rubbed his thumb over it, careful not to break it. “(NAME)—”

“Please don’t. . .”

His eyes widened at your weakened voice. His ears lowered shamefully, knowing you fully believed he was about to reprimand you even when you’re laboriously wounded. Clearing his throat, he adjusted his words as not to upset you further; “ah, don’t—don’t hold your breath, (NAME). I’m not going to scold you. . .” He laid his hand on your head. “I just. . . wish you would’ve told me. How. . . how long have you had it?”

You tensed at the simple yet gentle touch; you weren’t used to him treating you so warmly, and it almost made you wary of him. “Um, a few days now, I think? W—why would I bother telling you when all you do is make it seem like I’m nothing but a nuisance. . . Every single interaction we’ve had, you tell me that all I ever do is screw up. Which now that I look at it, m-maybe you were right. I do tend to make things worse when—HMPFH!”

Tighnari hushed you, gently slotting his lips onto yours. it physically hurts him to hear you talk bad about yourself—to hear back what he said to you. He’s always viewed you as a delicate flower, needing the most careful and precise supervision to ensure you don’t wither. Putting that aside, he wasn’t entirely sure why he thought kissing you was the best course of action—not when he didn’t have the slightest idea of what you thought of him. Maybe, because if he did it, it would make his feelings for you evident. And just maybe he’d been wanting to do that for a while and hoped he was the one you harbored your feelings for and you’d be cured.

As he felt you kiss back, one of his hands traveled to the back of your neck to bring you closer. Your lips, soft as the petals you coughed up, molded perfectly with his. And with each passing second, he kissed you harder, hoping to make it abundantly clear he didn’t mean a single word he said to you back then. 

After about 30 seconds, Tighnari finally pulled away, allowing you time to catch your breath. He sucked in a breath and held your face in his hands. “I’m so sorry, (NAME). I don’t think any combination of words can express that enough. In all honestly, I hid my feelings behind accusations because I was so scared you’d get yourself hurt so bad to the point that I couldn’t save you. I meant to protect you by restricting you, but I only hurt you in the process.” Dragging out a sigh, he gingerly smoothed his thumb over your cheek, brushing away any tears that might’ve fallen from your eyes. “This’ll be hard to believe after all the pain I’ve caused you, but I. . . [sighs] I love you, (NAME). So much more than you probably think. and seeing how relieved you look, I assume you feel the same. . .

“Knowing I could’ve saved you from so much pain from that awful disease if I would’ve just. . . apologized and confessed. Archons, it’s gut-wrenching to think about. . . I’m so sorry, (NAME).”

You blinked your eyes in astonishment; you couldn’t tell if what he said was the truth. He wouldn’t be that cruel, right? Despite your doubts, your chest felt lighter, which you interpreted as a sign that your hanahaki was gone. Swallowing down your fear, you squeezed Tighnari’s hand. “Can—can you kiss me again. . .?” You asked bashfully, your cheeks flaring at the absurd request

“Pardon?”

“I—I mean! Of course, y-you don’t have—hmmf!”

All your anxieties are quickly washed away as Tighnari’s lips meet yours once more. Relaxing into his arms, you looped your arms around his neck and pulled him flush against your body—the smell and warmth of him distracting you from the throbbing pain in your leg.

He pulled away after a few seconds, noticing you kept shifting uncomfortably from the pain you were in. “Ah—I’m sorry, flower. There isn’t much I can do given our lack of supplies. . .” He sympathized and pressed his lips to your forehead. Grabbing his bag, he pulled out a singular kalpalata lotus. “I was going to weave you a flower crown out of these, but I didn’t have the time to grab the necessary amount. So, this will have to do for now.” He crooned and tucked the flower in your hair. 

You let a yawn as you reached up and carefully pet its petals between your forefingers. “You don’t strike me as the type to make flower crowns,” you commented.

Tighnari chuckled, his fingers delicately running through your hair. “Hm? Well, you don’t strike me as the type to nearly take down an ruin guard alone, my lovely. But I guess I do have a knack for underestimating you.” He looked at you, smiling softly when he noticed how exhausted you looked. “Get some rest, (NAME). i can see how tired you are.” He consoled.

“You promise you won’t leave?”

His eyes softened as he leaned down to press one more kiss to your lips—an unspoken promise, an ever sea of love. 

“I never intended on doing so in a thousand years, my lotus. . .”

“Master, (NAME)!” Collei shouted frantically, trudging through the thick shrubs of the Avidya Forest.

“We came as fast as we could!” Shirin huffed, hunching over to catch her breath. “We—we hope we aren’t too lates. . .”

Tighnari shook his head reassuringly and gestured to your sleeping figure. “No, you’re not. Thank you both for coming on such short notice,” he said. “(NAME)’s asleep. . . It seems dealing with their hanahaki and fighting the ruin guard took all their energy.”

Collei’s eyes broadened as she crouched next to you, watching as your chest fell steadily up and down. She sighed in relief, “t—they didn’t tell me they hanahaki! I wouldn’t have ever suggested this to them if I knew that.”

He tilted his head curiously, his ears swaying to the side with him. “Oh? So (NAME) coming here was a plan set up by the two of you?”

The girl’s face profusely reddened, realizing she had given herself away. Letting out a quiet huff, she started helping Shirin treat your injury. “Y—yes, Master. . . I’m sorry for doing it behind your back, but they looked so defeated whenever you yelled at them. . .” She confessed. “But, unfortunately, I don’t think I can help much with their hanahaki. . . I—I mean, who do you think they have feelings for?”

Tighnari assured, “ah, you don’t need to worry about that. . .”

Shirin giggled as she finished treating your leg. “Awwe, are you and (NAME) together now, Tighnari?”

Collei’s cheeks flushed an even darker shade of red when he nodded. “H—huh?! They liked you, Master Tighnari?” She stumbled. 

His ears flattened against his head, an amused look displayed on his features. “Mhm. And I like them back. Why’s that so shocking?” He wondered.

She crossed her arms and gave him a look that said really? She conceded, “Master. . . You—you treated them like a pawn.”

Tighnari flinched, not quite expecting the sharp words to come from gentle and sweet Collei. “I know, I know. It’s a miracle they reciprocated my feelings with how poorly I treated them,” he sighed. He shook his head and looked down at you resting peacefully. “That just encourages me to take better and more efficient care of them. I’m going to make sure they blossom and in no way wilt by anyone’s words or actions. . .”

[lovelyney]

───────────𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐏𝐄───────────

DESC: Agape: "the highest form of love, charity."

PAIRINGS: Cyno x (GN!) Reader

SCENT: fluff/not so sfw-ish but not smut, yk?

WARNINGS: making out, hickeys, dad joke (singular.)

SONG: 505 ― Arctic Monkeys

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯2022 !! #©LOVELYNEY

YOU HUMMED GENTLY TO YOURSELF as you laid a blanket on the lush grass of Avidya Forest. Earlier in the week, you had paid a visit to Collei and Tighnari to ask them if they knew of any good picnic spots; they both recommended Avidya. 

Letting out a final, satisfied hum, you focused your attention back on your boyfriend, who surveyed the surrounding land around you—ensuring there weren’t any fungi or threats lurking nearby.

“My dear Cyno. . .” you addressed softly, hoping to grab his attention. with no response, your lips pressed together impatiently while you pulled out the various foods and drinks in the basket you brought along.

“Cyno!” you pressed, this time a bit louder, finally causing him to look at you—a look of alarm depicted on his countenance from your sudden rise in volume.

“Hm, what’s the matter, doll?” he inquired, his gaze penetrating your own—his hands still firmly clutching his weapon as to remain vigilant. 

You stared at him unamused, something that others would be terrified of even considering. While it was great to hear your boyfriend was concerned about everything going well, you knew that he would benefit from some relaxation—which he was not doing.

Your gaze flickered to the blanket as if to say, “sit your ass down right now.” You exasperated and popped open the bottle of red wine, “I’m sure we’re fine, my love. I don’t think Tighnari would recommend this place to me if he knew monsters were creeping around. Relax a little, would you? That is what this date is for, after all.” 

A frown crossed Cyno’s face at your accusatory tone. he started to wonder how you came about falling in love with him. You’re always so warm and hospitable with people, and him, deadpanned and a conveyor of judgment; someone that people have learned to fear the name of. However, unknown to him, this exact situation is an example of why you grew to love the General Mahamatra. People don’t tend to look past the icy walls he puts up, too intimidated by its frigidness, failing to recognize that it’s see-through if you really look hard enough.

“I’m aware, but we don’t get much time together, and I wouldn’t forgive anyone or myself if someone ruined it.” He followed your eyes, caving in and finally deciding to take a seat next to you on the blanket. “You’re always so patient with me, (NAME). The least I can do for you is protect you and make sure everything goes right. . .” He defended, his words laced with shame that he couldn’t give you as much as you give him. 

You shook your head in protest, watching him with eyes full of love as he shoved a strawberry in his mouth and stressfully chewed it. “Oh, Cy, you already do enough as it is for both the people of the desert and me. Just let me do this for you, hm?” You reassured and tucked a few strands of hair in front of his eyes behind his ear.

Cyno leaned into your palm, pressing his lips to it briefly. His vermillion eyes, normally so vacant and swimming with vindication, now dancing with tenderness and admiration, a look you’re only privileged to see of him. If you told someone that he looked at you this way, they would’ve pointed and laughed at you, telling you to get your head out of the clouds. But here he is, leaning into your touch like a touch-starved puppy with your head as clear as day.

He observed you as you pulled your hand away, plucked the top off a strawberry, and placed it in your mouth—a hunger developing in the pits of his stomach as you licked the juice off your pretty pink lips. God, how he loved the feeling of your lips. The contrast of how soft they felt against his made him go mad and lose himself in you. Speaking of which, he couldn’t remember the last time he kissed you properly, which was a crime against all of Teyvat, as Cyno loved kissing you more than anything in the world. 

A mischievous grin graced his lips, an idea crossing his mind. “Hey, love-bug, look at me for a second.” He purred and scooted closer so that your legs pressed together.

You looked at him with unsuspecting eyes that almost appeared innocent. Returning the smile, you propped another strawberry between your lips. “Hmm?” you mumbled, your words muffled by your chews.

“Stay still you have a little something on your face. . .” He breathed out and gently grabbed your chin between his thumb and forefinger.

Before you could reach your hand up to wipe whatever was on your face, Cyno quickly snatched your wrist and pulled you against his toned chest—his arms looping around your waist to keep you there. “Right. . . here.” He swooned, closing the distance between you two and shoving his lips on yours.

A noise of surprise erupted from your mouth as your boyfriend’s tongue grazed your lower lip, the juice from the strawberry now gone. He smiled, pulling you closer so that you straddled his lap. His rough lips moved against yours like it was the last thing he was going to do, your noises only fueling him to move faster and fiercer; he had to restrain himself from grinding his hips against you from how riled up he was getting. 

You pulled away, your lungs begging you for air—causing Cyno to give an impatient hum. 

“I’m not done with you, doll. you said you wanted to do something for me, yeah? So open your mouth. . .” He ordered, thumbing at your lips to pry them open. 

Just as you opened your mouth to protest that you guys were in the middle of a forest and a forest ranger could walk in on you two at literally any time (you did not want to subject Collei to any of that); he took the opportunity and lunged his tongue inside. 

Within seconds, blood rushed to your face as the Mahamatra’s tongue danced about your mouth (so sorry for this sentence y’all —(12/12/23), making sure he didn’t leave one inch unexplored before enclosing around your own. caving in, you shut your eyes and carded your fingers through his silver hair.

Cyno smirked as he sucked on your tongue, earning a satisfied groan from you. He practically was swallowing you whole at this rate, but god, did he not give a single fuck. The sweet taste and smell of you intoxicated him, making him never want to depart; he wanted to drown himself in you, and he mentally scolded himself for thinking such a thing.

His scarred hands trailed down to your inner thighs, giving them a gentle yet firm squeeze—the feeling of your soft skin against his fingertips fueling his desire for you. Oh, how he longed to feel every inch of your body under him, and if it weren’t for him being civil, he would’ve had it that way by now. 

Cyno growled when he felt you squirm under his touch while he licked stripes down your neck and collarbone. “Stay still. . .” He murmured and gently sunk his teeth into your skin, making sure it’d leave a bruise. He nibbled and sucked at the same spot for a little while, then moved down to your collarbone and did the same, repeating the process until he felt satisfied.

After he finished marking you, he seized the fabric of your shirt and slammed his lips back on yours, nibbling and biting at them to make sure they were black and blue with his pure love and adoration for you.

He pulled away after a few minutes, his lungs now scorching for air. Leaning in, he lapped up the string of saliva that hung from your lips, then pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek—his breath hot and heavy against your reddened face. “You taste. . .” he started softly. “Berry good. . .”

Your eyes flew open, stunned that he told a joke at such an intimate moment, but then you remembered who you were talking about and broke into a joyous smile. “What?” You chortled, clutching your stomach and doubling over with laughter. You weren’t laughing at the punchline as much as the delivery and the timing. Only Cyno would tell a pun after making out with you.

Cyno watched with a slight chuckle as you quieted down your laughter. His heart swelled at the sound of a few quiet giggles still leaving your lips; he would tell over 1000 shitty jokes if it meant he could hear you laugh like that forever. It was one of the things he grew to adore about you—the way your face lights up whenever you show any ounce of joy. Perhaps it wasn’t noticeable to the public eye, but it was nonetheless noticeable to him. 

“. . .That bad, huh?” he hummed and covered his mouth to conceal his lovesick smile.

Gently cupping your boyfriend’s cheeks, you removed his hand from his lips and kissed him again, this one driven by pure adoration. “Archons, you’re such a dumbass, Cyno. I love you so much, you know that?” 

[lovelyney]

──────𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 𝐎𝐅 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒────── -> ﹙♤﹚means it has thorns—mature themes -> ﹙♧﹚means it’s fragile—potentially triggering themes.

𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐄𝐋 𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚MONSTANDT GUYS — dating them !! ﹙♡﹚MONSTANDT WOMEN — dating them !!

𝐂𝐄𝐂𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐒 !!

﹙♧﹚ ALBEDO — breathe in, breathe out !!

𝐐𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐗𝐈𝐍𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚LIYUE GUYS — dating them !! ﹙♡﹚LIYUE WOMEN — dating them !!

𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐊 𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚ Nothing has bloomed here yet. . .

𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐔𝐌𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚INAZUMA GUYS — dating them !! ﹙♡﹚INAZUMA WOMEN — dating them !! ﹙♡﹚WANDERER — dating him !!

𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀 𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚WANDERER — redamancy !! ﹙♡﹚WANDERER — never fleeting eyes !!

𝐊𝐀𝐋𝐏𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐀𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚SUMERU GUYS — dating them !! ﹙♡﹚SUMERU WOMEN — dating them !!

𝐏𝐀𝐃𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐇𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚CYNO — agape !! ﹙ ♤/♧﹚TIGHNARI — a withered lotus !! ﹙♡﹚TIGHNARI — in full bloom !! ﹙ ♤/♧﹚TIGHNARI — glass heart, glass body !!

𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐁𝐎𝐖 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚FONTAINE GUYS — dating them !!

𝐋𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐃𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐒 !!

﹙♡﹚WRIOTHESLEY — a kitten with very sharp claws !!