#✩ fakes should be destroyed {tbd}

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; [ SO! I've just given my RULES PAGE a big overhaul, which was MOSTLY cosmetic (putting the most important stuff at the very top and clarifying a few things) but I do want to share some important stuff that got updated:

I added a DNI list. (This was a long time coming, tbh.)

My general rule is now "I am mutuals-only." (I already MOSTLY was, so this doesn't change much! I will still respond to asks from non-mutuals, but I will not do threads.)

I added a bit about not wanting to be followed by minors.

Rehauled my "Dark Themes and Adult Content" section.

I think that's it, whoo! Thanks for reading~

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Lineup Lamentations - GW7

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

The latest lambs ever follows the latest pod ever... Sorry everyone for my fucking up of everything. Back to normal schedule after this week. Love, Alon.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Jese and Firmino

IN: Stephens and Morata

Made a big move today lads. I had intended to keep Bob and float but the more I look at it and think about it the less sense it makes. His price is plummeting and he's looked shit. There are some doubts whether or not he'll get a rest for Sturridge, which would be a gameweek sinking thing if I did hold him through losing value only to see that occur. If I do hold and he blanks then I'm pretty fucked and would be forced to make an early transfer on him to prevent losing more value. He's also got two really bad fixtures off the back of the international break, so, even if he returns at Newc he'd be a suspect pick for the short term with all these other heavy hitters fucking hard. It doesn't feel GREAT to bring Morata in before the City game but whatever. He doesn't have to travel to South America during the break and they have great fixtures off the back of the break. Firm has been getting subbed early and shit I don't know. I just don't want to stick around and wait until he turns it around. Getting aggressive here and bringing in someone who has no doubts whatsoever in Alvaro. Go on my Spanish son.

As an afterthought, RLC needs a thigh replacement, clearly, so I had to turn my eye searching for a different 4.5 mid. Glad I didn't fire on an early swap of Jese...or very glad that his price could not have been dropping slower this week to let me wait until after Friday pressers to act. Carroll seemed the most sensible lad with indirect set pieces but after popping around the Swansea forums everyone seemed to be jerking it to Roque Mesa and shit. Ki is coming back. Clucas, Sanches, Fer, blah. Lots of fucks for Clement to choose from. Stephens seems fine, stats aren't the worst shit ever, and has no competition for his spot from what I could tell from the absurd joke that are the BHA fan forums. And my own perusal of their roster etc. Whatever. Hopefully will do Chalobah to my love RLC in a bit.

GK:

Foster's turn. Much of a muchness last week as both he and Elliot brought in two points. The fixture is a lot clearer this weekend and hoping for Pulis to shut it down at home against Silva's yellow guys. Meh.

DEF:

Going to need some lady luck this weekend with the defenders I'm throwing out there I fear.

Jones and Mou are doing Jones and Mou things. I'm going to slot Jones in the lineup hoping he features. Meh.

Bavies speaks for himself. Got a little breather against the tractor team from wherever the fuck midweek by playing at LCB instead of LWB. He'll slot back into his normal spot with Serge suspended so maybe he will return more than 1 fucking point for the first time since I got him in 3 gameweeks ago. Piece of shit.

Naughton goes at West Ham. Hoping that Antonio is only fit enough for the bench so the West Ham side will be less good, but tbd. Hoping that Clement parks an away bus again. Feel okay with young Kyle in this one.

Finally, I'm giving SWard a run at Goodison. Everton don't usually get stymied at home but Burnley have been great and Everton are coming off a Thursday night fuckfest in which they continued their season long theme of looking shit. Don't feel horrible with this shout.

If Jones misses out....I will be throwing Franno in the lineup. Home Leicester versus twat mode Vardy surely no clean, but who knows. It's not a diabolical on paper fixture so I don't feel that bad if he has to come in. It could be a lot worse.

MID:

Steady midfield trio of Salad, Eriksen, and Brady go again for me in the 433. 

Eriksen looks to have recovered from whatever he was faking sick with to avoid traveling to assfuckland so that's good. Until Vagner and his band of thugs probably kicks the fuck out of him and injures him like they did do GW1 against us with Wilf. Kick / kill their talisman and try not to get a red likely will be what Vagner has his guys going for. So, hopefully he doesn't get killed.

Salad feels like a hatty is coming soon. Maybe at Rafa. Kill for.

Brady finally just feels a nice little guy. Still feels like good value at the 5.5 spot and happy to hold. Fixture is a little tricky but with Keane a major doubt as well as Jags....it wouldn't be too surprising to see a Burnley goal off a set piece via Brady's gorgeous Irish left foot.

FWD:

Kane and Rom need no words.

New friend Alvaro steps in for Bob. Bob thanks for the 6 points in 3 games. Couldn't have done it without you. Fully expecting him to start firing again now that Mane is back and I've gotten rid, but such is life. I am sure I'll own him again at some point this season. Hopefully purchased at a nice reduced price. As it stands, very pleased to welcome Morata to the team. He's a nice boy by all accounts and I think he'll fit in well around the locker room with my other friends. He's looking ripe with their upcoming fixtures and I'm glad I was .1 off from getting Jesus so I didn't have to think much about that. Getting in Chelsea and City players from now until as soon as possible feels good so here we are. First Chelsea lad in for me this season hope he fucks City raw this weekend.

CAP:

Kane. I don't cap against Palace so Rom doesn't get my arm band. Hoping Sakho does a job on him and he stays quiet. If not, I own him, so whatever. At least he's covered. As ranted about during the pod I think this Huddersfield team is hot trash and they are due a spanking from a big boy. Vagner has stubbornly said he will try to play their brand of football which should be completely ripped apart by a top four side like Spurs. I don't think a 5-0 is out of the question. Just like Poch, I also love Harry Kane. Sir Harold, go on my boy.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Firmino

IN: Jesus

Woof so I made my transfer at the absolute last second before price changes and then Bobby doesn’t end up dropping after all. Of course. But if he did drop I wouldn’t have been able to afford Gab so here we are; GAB IN.

The Aguero rib-breaking swayed me to Jesus over Morata/Laca/saving the transfer. Even though now that both Walsh and I got rid of Bobby he’ll certainly destroy this week and you all reading this should absolutely captain him if you still have him... But in all seriousness - City we’ve been mad jerking off to them all season long and now you’re finally seeing why. They’re scoring an absolutely ludicrous amount of goals for fun and I’m hoping Kun’s cracked rib keeps him out for 1-2 months and that would nail Jesus to the #9 spot where I expect returns to be plentiful.

It’s not ideal kicking off with a match at Stamford Bridge followed by a trip to Brazil but I’m more thinking the following few fixtures which are home Stoke, home Burnley, and at West Brom. I’ve seen reports that Kun will only be out 2-4 weeks and I’ve seen reports of 2 months. I don’t know. I still have my wildcard so I felt that this was a risk worth taking. It’s very far from impossible to see Jesus become the bestish FWD in the game over the next month or two if Kun ends up being out and Bobby has been shite lately. So I’m rolling the dice on that. Hope the points follow :)...

GK:

Elliot to, I hope, get fucking clobbered by a flying Liverpool side. Sometimes it’s fuck FPL time and when it comes to fandom, see above with Walsh and Palace, it’s definitely fuck FPL time. Maybe he’ll get some save points but I hope he just gets destroyed... whatever.

DEF:

Like Walsh I’m starting Jones and just hoping that he fucking starts but really who the fuck knows with Mou and his doubts and mind games. Assuming Jones isn’t in though I’ll be running out three kind of pieces of shit with the Mendy/Jones injuries decimating my backline.

Naughton away West Ham feels pretty bad to me. Swansea are... I don’t know what they are. I still think they’re not good even though sometimes they do a job they’re still on fucking 5 points and well within grasp of relegation. They suck. West Ham also suck but they can score goals. Hard for me to imagine more then a 2 pointer here from Kyle but one can dream.

Danny boy Simpson comes in for me in another, in my opinion, bad situation away to Bournemouth. It’s not a nightmare but Leicester are also just kind of fucking bad. They’re sat on 4 points below even fucking Swansea like. Bournemouth and King and Defoe are starting to tit and maybe they’re turning it around a little I’m not sure. Long story short it’s hard for me to imagine more then a 2 pointer here from Danny. Fuck this is gonna be a rough week...

Lastly Ryan Berty who feels worse then he actually is because Southampton are soooo fucking bad. But the fact is they have three cleans in six matches - that’s very solid. And while he has no attacking returns this season, partially because Soton can’t score any fucking goals, we know from history that he has it in his locker. He’s shown glimpes like that sitter he missed in one of the matches but meh. I think I just have to separate the player and the returns from the vibe of the team and keep taking the points he’s delivering me which again, have been very very solid. At Stoke is a good defensive fixture. They really struggle to score goals. Go get me a clean Ryan.

MID:

The Salad man stands alone. I wish the LFC faithful would write him a song that involves him missing sitters but still donging that would be so delightful. Either way the still donging part is why we all have him and that’s just what he’s gonna keep doing :).

Brady is still mildly soupy but it hasn’t been great. But it hasn’t been bad either. If he gets a return this week or next week then yeah that’s about at the level I thought he’d be and he’s doing a great job for his price and his role as an enabler. Big if though.

Tom Carroll fucking IN this week because of my injuries let’s gooooo. Ugh this week is going to be a really giant red arrow for me I think. I should’ve wildcarded on like Sunday. Fuck. I fucked up big time I think. I’m starting Tom Carroll. If he gets me a return then I’m just the luckiest fucking dickfuck on the planet. Though it is West Ham.......

And Daveed to round it out. I finally gave Daveed a friend in Jesus up top. He can assist his friend and it’s all gravy. Everyone wins!

FWD:

Kane, Rom, and Jesus. Is that good? HELLOOOOOOOOOO.

Really don’t need many words here. These lads are all professional goal scorers. They’re all masters at their crafts. Go the fuck on.

CAP:

Sticking on Rom here. The template call. The quality of fixture gap is too large for me to go Kane even though his qualities are so much higher then Rom and his form is ridiculous. Palace minus Wilf, minus Benteke, minus Fosu-Mensah (Joel Ward IN) - I just cannot resist. It should be a proper bare-bottom spanking from United. And pretty much no way to possibly imagine anything else.

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; [ HEY! Sorry about the sudden hiatus! I was stretching myself a little thin and, between dealing with work and Genshin Impact taking up my off-time, I wound up not having a lot of time or energy to be HERE...

But I want to continue the plots I've got going, so expect some replies soon~ ]

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{ Like for a small starter! Also feel free to come DM me if you’d like to plot something! My discord is also available to mutuals~ }

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{ SO I have been a little slow on the rp side of things due to health issues but...! I’ve also been replaying some Pokemon games and I realized yesterday that I never replenished my friend list on my 3ds after having to replace the system! So if any of you guys would like to exchange codes, please PM me! }

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; [ So it’s still a constant work in progress, but I FINALLY filled out a bio page for Ryu! It includes some storylines from past threads I shared with people over all the years I’ve been writing him, because... well, a lot of people have helped him grow into the character he is now!

I think having this page is a good way to streamline everything, though, and explain where his development is at in each of his timeline-based verses! ]

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{ ; like this post for a lil starter from Ryu~ }

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{ ; Like for a short little starter! I wanna get some new threads going... }

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{ Little nanowrimo update under the cut. Bleh. }

{ I’m torn between continuing with what I’ve been doing and just... scrapping the idea I’ve been working on this past week in favor of diving headfirst into another story. I’m gonna keep the words I wrote, of course, and attempt to get into these dudes heads better later.

For some reason, poking the plot of this novel with a stick has woken up another set of characters I have and they really, REALLY want me to write their book. I know them inside-and-out by now and I feel like they’d WORK with me better?

Besides, if I’m honest with myself, Syntax is the book I really want to get out there before someone else does it’s concept better... }

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{ tags post, part three }

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{ Sorry for being quiet last week! My family was visiting and I really only had the energy to run like, one muse. Whoops. I’ll get to Ryu’s replies today! Also, if anyone would like to plot with me, I’d love to do some plotting! ouo }