#✩ ° . · . — my touch is black & poisonous┊interactions

[hyunjins3rdleg]

🍸 What’s Your Poison?🍸

Hi,I’m A—Jay! Nice to meet you,honey🩷

• Bbygirl of ‘01

• March🌷Pisces Princess

• Somehow managing to work a big girl job in the real world of the USA

Just vibin’ & thrivin’ on my new little blog sharing my cute little ideas with cute little strangers.

(That’s you, babe. You’re the cute stranger💋)

*Hwang Hyunjin bias based!*

(But you’ll see me reblog all the boys!!)

Join me for Happy Hour Gossip!

I’m open to request or a chat if you’d like to giggle,rant,or cry with me!

*Request🔒:fake text(predominately),drabbles,au prompts,etc(I have more time for shorter fics)

*I will not write member x member or poly(just not into that,sorry)incest/step siblings, taboo/hardcore themes, include the members’ real life family, and I will politely decline your request if it’s something I am not comfortable with writing or speaking on :)

*Stray Kids are real people & therefore everything below is completely fictional. This doesn’t reflect who they truly are in any way, shape, or form. I am not trying to misconstrue who they are in real life.

Don’t forget to touch grass,babe <3

✨Everyone’s welcome at Stay’s Bar✨

(especially my fellow Black stays🤎)

**MDNI & SFW Rules**

Minors(16+)are free to interact with my blog as long as you keep it cute & appropriate.

*SFW* Fics are safe for the younger stays and will usually only have profanity listed as the main warning.

*MDNI* Fics are self explanatory and should not be interacted with unless you are 18+

Keep it cute or get blocked <3

Angst⛈️/🌩️; Fluff🧸; Smut/Suggestive🔥

FWB!Hyunjin Text Series 🧸⛈️🔥 (MDNI)

A late night text accidentally sent to one of the artist you’re working with leads to a half a year long agreement and Hyunjin wants more…

(fwb to lovers)(IdolxMusic Producer!Reader)

Before You Ruined My Outfit? 🌩️🧸 (SFW)

Han Jisung is your childhood best friend and his attempt at playing Cupid goes horribly wrong somehow thanks to Hyunjin…

Fix Your Face, Please! 🧸🌩️ (MDNI)

Hyunjin’s very vocal about how jealous & possessive he can get, and although it can get troublesome you find it kind of hot…

We Were On Break!! 🌩️🧸 (SFW)

Your ex boyfriend, Hyunjin, has a hard time accepting the end of your relationship and is very persistent on getting back together…

Corporate Gang 🧸 (MDNI)

JYP Co. gets a new IT-Agent and you can’t help but gush about him to your favorite coworkers…

(Nerdy,shy!Hyunjin Series)

Take Your Friends Out ⛈️🧸 (pt.1 ) (MDNI)

Your boyfriend has stood you up 3x this month and you decide that you’re done with being second place. Of course he disagrees…

Don’t Say That To Me ⛈️ (pt 2.) (MDNI)

Months after you took Hyunjin back you have to face the tough reality of falling out of love with him and end things for good…

Stress Induced Fever 🧸 (SFW)

Your job has decided to transfer you to their USA branch for a year and Hyunjin is failing miserably at holding himself together before you leave…

Sad Nudes? 🧸 (MDNI)

You’ve had a shit day and Hyunjin tries his best to cheer you up thousands of miles away…

I Love You. Now Date Me! 🧸🌩️ (SFW)

Your bestfriend has been jokingly telling you he’s in love with you for years only for you to find out it’s not a joke…and oh yeah, he HATES your boyfriend…

Babe, I Broke It 🧸 (SFW)

Hyunjin broke your brand new coffee mug and he’s taking it harder than you are (soft bbyboy)…

I Really Like You, Like Romantically 🔥🧸(MDNI)

Your best friend asks you for an insane favor of helping him lose his virginity and discovers his feelings in the process…

I Will Win! Fighting!🔥🧸 (MDNI)

You and Hyunjin make a friendly bet to survive No Nut November and despite his persistent confidence on winning, he eventually gives in…

Emergency Contact ⛈️ (SFW)

You and Hyunjin had a mutual breakup over a year ago, but apparently he forgot to remove you as his emergency contact and feelings are revisted…

Safe,Loved,& Accepted ⛈️ (SFW)

Bang Chan has been making light of the nasty comments you’ve been getting online until you are put in a sticky situation and he’s worried sick a thousand of miles away…

Have You Always Been This Hot?? 🔥🧸 (MDNI)

Attempting to survive No Nut November with your best friend Chan brings forth feelings neither of you knew existed…and really good sex…

I Just Want To Help ⛈️ (SFW)

Your ex Hyunjin takes it upon himself to help you with financial difficulties after months of no contact, but he never expected you to fight him every step of the way…

Wanna See It Up Close? 🔥🧸 (MDNI)

You always jokingly try to convince your best friend to get laid and he jokingly tells you to take his virginity (except it’s not a joke)…

I Hate You. All Of You. 🌩️ (SFW)

A sneaky picture brings your relationship and trust crashing down and he refuses to let it all go over a stupid misunderstanding….

Keeping Secrets 🌩️ (SFW)

Felix’s antics leaves Hyunjin an over dramatic mess and it takes an entire week before he confronts you about the secret you’ve been hiding…

Is This A Trick Question? 🌩️🧸 (SFW)

It’s not a secret that Hyunjin’s perusing you romantically, but despite returning his feelings your past relationship holds you back. Little did you know Hyunjin was just what you needed to try at love again…

Model!Hyunjin Text Series 🧸🔥(SFW/MDNI)

At the height of his career, Hwang Hyunjin goes down the road nearly every 24 year old with fame in the public eye does - sex, money, and rebellion. You accepted a job set up by his parents to get his reputation and career back on track, and you’ve known no peace since thanks to your very clingy (and unashamedly in love) client…

(ModelxAssistant!Reader)(grumpy gf,sunshine bf)

[pickingupmymercedes]

The things we do for fashion - Lewis Hamilton (NSFW)

request: "Hey, drop something happy and sexy to get over this terrible weekend with Lewis in merc with that terrible strategy and that bad tire performance, burn that car pls. Thank you" - anon

pairing: Lewis Hamilton x Reader!

warnings: unprotected sexual activities, penetrative sex (p in v), creampie.

Also, wrap it before you tap it

wordcount: +1K

a/n: Cutesy and fun smut, little to no plot, as all my smuts tend to be. Also, been gone (with food poisoning) but this request had to be written.

As always, I'm open for feedback, come say hi!

EXPLICIT CONTENT UNDER, -18 DO NOT INTERACT.

______________________________________________________________

You started it without any intention for it to end like it did. An innocent clean-up of his spare closet was all it was meant to be. But, living with Lewis was seldom your typical experience, and things with him had a knack for turning into something else entirely within a matter of minutes.

You had the day off and your self-appointed task of the day was relatively simple: get Lewis's paddock outfits out of the boxes Eric had shipped them in and organize them on the racks so Lewis could see the full fit. It should have taken you less than two hours, ample time to spare until Lewis returned from the factory. At least, that's what you thought.

In the middle of the room, you sat surrounded by half-open boxes and only a few racks filled when you heard Lewis call out from the entrance of his London home.

"Hey, love! How's it going in here?"

You scrambled to your feet, pushing aside the box you were sorting through and greeted him with a sheepish smile. "Uh, not quite as planned, to be honest."

Lewis chuckled as he walked over to you, glancing at the mess of boxes and clothes. "Mind if I have a look at what you've got so far?"

"Go ahead, just…it's not finished yet." you said, a little embarrassed.

Lewis began to sift through the clothes, his eyes lighting up with excitement as he pulled out some of the pieces he recalled were his favorites.

"Oh, I've been looking forward this one!" he exclaimed, holding up a vibrant red jacket. "And these trousers! I can't wait to wear this combo."

He continued to go through the clothes, commenting on each piece he was excited to wear. The excitement in his voice infectious, getting you to instantly smile at his enthusiasm.

As he reached the bottom of one of the boxes, his hand paused on a piece of clothing. A black sleeveless turtleneck, skin-tight and oh so sleek.

"Oh, I love this one," you whispered, unable to hide your admiration.

A subtle shift occurred in Lewis's expression. His eyes meeting yours, a hint of intrigue and desire in them.

"You really think so?" his voice already lower, almost to a husky whisper.

"Yeah," you admitted, feeling a rush of heat spread through you. "They accentuate your biceps really well."

A wicked grin spread across Lewis's face, and he took a step closer, the atmosphere in the room growing more intense. "Is that so?" his murmur mimicking his eyes darkening with desire. "Maybe you'd like to see just how well it accentuates them?"

Your breath caught in your throat as Lewis took his sweats off and then slowly pulled the turtleneck over his head, revealing the defined muscles of his biceps. The fabric clung to him perfectly, emphasizing every contour and curve.

"Like what you see?" he teased, his voice low and seductive.

You swallowed hard, unable to tear your eyes away from him. "More than you'll ever know."

With a playful smirk, Lewis leaned in, capturing your lips in a passionate kiss, the intensity of the moment leaving no doubt that this innocent closet clean-up had taken a decidedly spicy turn.

His hands found their way to your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened, the heat between you palpable. You responded eagerly, your hands roaming over his toned chest and back, reveling in the feel of his muscles beneath your touch.

Lewis's hands trailed up your spine, sending shivers down your back, and he broke the kiss to pepper soft, lingering kisses along your jawline and neck. His breath was warm against your skin, his touch sending waves of pleasure coursing through you.

"God, you drive me crazy," his murmurs against your skin, voice husky with desire.

You gasped as he lifted you effortlessly, carrying you over to the nearby sofa and gently laying you down. He hovered over you, his eyes dark with passion, and you reached up to pull him down for another searing kiss.

The world seemed to fade away as you lost yourself in the sensation of his lips on yours, his hands exploring your body with a gentleness that belied the intensity of his desire. Time seemed to stand still as you explored each other, the connection between you deepening with every touch, every caress.

Eventually, you both came up for air, breathless and flushed with desire. Lewis's eyes searched yours, filled with a mixture of love, lust, and something deeper, something more profound.

"I love you," he whispered, his voice filled with emotion.

"I love you too," you replied, your heart swelling with love and contentment.

With a simple exchange, the atmosphere in the room shifted once again, the intense passion giving way to a more tender, intimate connection. You held yourself up by his shoulders, drawing your body close to his, feeling his growing arousal through the fabric of his briefs. Between lingering kisses, his hand found its way to your core, teasing your clit through the fabric of your panties and shorts. Your moans filled the room, mingling with his as his lips stubbornly refused to leave your own.

Growing impatient with the teasing, you took hold of his wrists, his eyes opening wide with a mix of surprise and concern. "Lew, no teasing, please," you murmured in a ragged voice, locking eyes with him. His smirk formed slowly, mischief dancing in his eyes. "You don’t get to start this and not see it through, baby girl," he whispered, his voice incredibly low as he breathed in your scent. His arms wrapped around your legs and waist, effortlessly laying you down once again.

His fingers skillfully undid the silk ribbon of your shorts, slowing down each movement as his eyes met yours, his kisses trailing lower on your body. "When you see me wearing this turtleneck, I want you to remember me eating you up in it," he whispered against your skin.

Reaching your core, he caressed you for a moment before pulling the cotton fabric to the side, blowing gently on your sensitive skin before kissing you, causing your body to quiver in anticipation. Soon, his tongue was exploring every inch of you, his thumb on your clit and two fingers teasing your entrance.

"We need to get you ready, huh?" he said, not waiting for your response before curling his fingers inside you, the angle and traction causing you to writhe in pleasure, reaching your first climax, completely captivated by his touch.

Stepping away from the sofa to remove his sweatpants and boxers, you mustered the energy and courage to sit up and grab his arms before he could take the turtleneck off. "You, sir, you stay just like that while I engrave into my memory how ridiculously hot you look," you said with a playful smirk.

Kneeling in front of him, you took his member in one hand, the other tracing his abdomen beneath the fabric. The sensation of his growing body hair, his precum leaking from the tip, and the low whimpers from the man – who you literally had in your hands – left you feeling overwhelmingly elated.

His hands on the back of your head guided the rhythm as you took him into your mouth, the head of his dick reaching further with each thrust, synchronizing perfectly with your movements. If it weren’t for his hands on your cheeks and the fiery intensity in his eyes, you could have continued for hours.

The raw passion and connection between you two made every touch, every kiss, and every glance get you two more connected than the last. So, when he reached for your arms, he didn’t need to say he was more than ready to take you, fully. His hands on your waist guided you to one of the arms of the sofa, steadying you with one hand while the other spread your leg to get better access.

His first stroke was always the slowest; this time, though, it felt like torture. His eyes closed as he reached deeper and deeper, moans leaving his mouth and yours as you both adjusted to each other, his body coming closer to yours as he embraced you, his lips connecting to yours almost mindlessly. "Babe, I swear… it never gets easier holding myself back."

His thrusts got harder and faster as he continued, your moans turning into gasps the closer you got to another orgasm, his dick ever so slightly brushing that spot that got you whimpering, just for him to smirk down at you and change the angle. He wanted to build the pressure so he could choose when to release it; he was in control, and he knew how to show it.

Just after your eyes started welling up from the overstimulation, he pulled both of your legs behind his neck, making sure he reached your cervix and g-spot each time. His dick throbbing and his thrusts deepened as he let out a guttural groan, his seeds filling you as you saw white, his pubic bone hitting your clit just right one last time.

The room was filled with heavy breaths and a lingering warmth as you both came down from your high. Lewis’s expression soft and his eyes filled with tenderness and care as he looked at you "You okay?" his question gentle, brushing a strand of hair from your face.

You nodded, feeling a little overwhelmed but safe in his arms. "Yeah, just a bit worn out, I guess." Lewis smiled warmly, pulling you closer to him. "Let me take care of you," he murmured, as he carefully helped you sit up and stood to grab a towel from the nearby bathroom.

Returning to your side, he dampened the towel with warm water and began to gently clean you up, taking care not to cause any discomfort. Once he was satisfied that you were comfortable, Lewis took off the turtleneck he had been wearing, putting it aside to be washed before sitting back down beside you on the small sofa.

He wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest, offering you comfort and warmth. You snuggled into his embrace, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your ear. The intensity of the moment had passed, replaced by a comforting sense of closeness and affection.

"The room's a bit of a state, isn't it?" Lewis remarked after a while, bringing you back from the haze you found yourself in, glancing around at the mess of clothes and scattered belongings. "Looks like we've got our work cut out for us." You chuckled, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, I guess we do. But I wouldn't want to clean up this mess with anyone else."

"The things we do for fashion..." Lewis quipped with a playful smirk. You couldn't help but laugh at his remark, the tension in the room dissipating as you both shared a moment of lightheartedness, wrapped in each other's arms.

______________________________________________________________

TAGLIST - @saturnssunflower @xoscar03 @chocolatediplomatdreamerzonk @happy-golden-hour

If you’d like to be added to my taglist you can leave a comment or send me a dm/ask.

[deliciousangelfestival]

Flour Power - End

Character: Amnesia!Bucky x Baker!Female Character

Summary: A baker helps a stranger, only to discover that this individual not only aids the bakery but also brings trouble along with him

A/N: Because Bucky got amnesia, his name was temporarily changed to Bob.

Chap 1, Chap 2 , End.

Main Masterlist || support: Ko-fi

Thank you to everyone who has read this chapter. Leave a comment and Reblog, please. I'd love to hear your thoughts. ❤️

The closed sign had been placed at the door, signaling the end of another busy day at the bakery. With the customers gone, only the four of you remained, gathered around a table in the dimly lit interior.

You poured a steaming cup of tea for the newcomer, who had introduced himself as Steve. His gaze lingered on Bob, who seemed unfazed by the attention.

"He got amnesia? No wonder why he doesn't remember me," Steve remarked, his tone tinged with a mixture of concern and disappointment.

You nodded in understanding, acknowledging the gravity of Bob's situation. "So, his real name is Bucky?" you inquired, seeking clarification.

Steve nodded solemnly. "His nickname. His real name is James Buchanan Barnes," he confirmed, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia.

"Ooh," you and Tammy exclaimed simultaneously, sharing a moment of realization. The revelation of Bob's true identity added a layer of depth to his enigmatic persona, and the name James Buchanan Barnes seemed to suit him far better than the simple moniker of "Bob."

Steve looked at Bucky, his expression resembling that of someone who had reunited with a long-lost friend. "You don't remember me?" he asked, his voice tinged with a hint of sadness.

Bucky remained silent for a moment before he shook his head.

Steve let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders sagging with disappointment. "Did they do something to your brain?" he murmured, his concern evident in his tone.

Confused by the exchange, you interjected, seeking clarity. "What do you mean? Who exactly is Bucky?" you inquired, your curiosity piqued by the cryptic conversation.

Steve took a sip of his tea before fixing his gaze on you and Tammy, his eyes bearing a warning look that sent a shiver down your spine.

"You have to keep every word that comes out of my mouth a secret," he cautioned, his voice low and serious.

You and Tammy exchanged uneasy glances before slowly nodding in agreement, understanding the gravity of the situation.

As you watched Steve, you couldn't help but feel a sense of foreboding, realizing that there was more to Bucky's past than met the eye.

Steve explained, "Me and Bucky are black agents. To put it simply, we're always sent on off-the-record missions."

Tammy whispered in awe, "Woah, that's cool."

You glanced at Bucky, a newfound understanding dawning on you. No wonder he was so talented—he possessed a multitude of skills.

Steve sighed heavily. "Bucky has an excellent success record. But suddenly, we couldn't locate his whereabouts for a year."

As Steve spoke, you couldn't help but recall the doctor's words about Bucky's condition—wounds from bullets and knives, along with poison in his blood. The extent of his suffering weighed heavily on your mind.

Instinctively, you reached out and placed your palm on Bucky's hand, offering him a silent gesture of comfort and support. You couldn't imagine the pain he had endured.

Feeling the warmth of your touch, Bucky looked up and offered you a grateful smile, his eyes reflecting a mixture of gratitude and resilience.

Steve observed the interaction with keen interest, his gaze shifting between you and Bucky. It was clear that he recognized the bond that had formed between you, and his expression softened slightly, acknowledging the depth of your connection.

Steve cleared his throat before speaking, his tone serious. "So, me and the others have been searching everywhere for Bucky. Then our facial recognition system gave us an alert that Bucky is still alive."

Tammy chimed in enthusiastically, addressing Bucky directly. "Isn't that great, Bob? Oops, sorry, Bucky. You found your friend."

You couldn't help but feel a pang of anxiety as you processed Steve's words. "Does that mean you want to take Bucky home? I forgot to ask, does he have family?" you asked, your voice tinged with concern.

Steve shook his head solemnly. "No, this man is a loner," he replied, his expression grave.

A sense of relief washed over you at Steve's response, though you couldn't quite pinpoint why.

"If Bucky wants, I want to bring him back to the team," said Steve.

"No," Bucky replied firmly, catching everyone off guard with his quick response.

Sensing the tension in the air, you attempted to diffuse the situation. "Perhaps he still doesn't trust you yet. Give it some time," you suggested, offering a reassuring smile.

Steve fell silent for a moment, contemplating your words. "I understand. I'll come back another time," he conceded, his tone tinged with disappointment.

Steve rose from his seat, straightened his suit, and left a generous tip on the table. He glanced at you and Tammy with gratitude. "Thank you for saving my friend," he said before exiting the shop.

You watched as Steve's figure disappeared from view, noting the dejected expression on his face.

Turning to Bucky, you found that he had already slipped away to the kitchen, his departure as silent as his footsteps. It dawned on you that his training as a black agent had instilled in him the need for stealth and discretion.

Meanwhile, Tammy chimed in with a playful remark. "That Steve guy is handsome," she commented, breaking the solemn atmosphere with her lighthearted observation.

🗡️

At the back door, Bucky stood like a silent sentinel, his gaze fixed on the darkness beyond as he prepared to take out the trash.

As he moved to re-enter the bakery, a sound caught his attention, causing him to pause. Instinctively, he closed the door behind him and turned to face the dark alley. "Come out," he called out calmly, his voice betraying no hint of fear.

From the shadows emerged a figure, slowly materializing into the form of Steve. Without warning, Steve hurled a knife toward Bucky.

With reflexes honed by years of training, Bucky caught the knife effortlessly, his expression unchanged by the sudden attack.

Steve smirked, a glint of recognition in his eyes. "I knew it. From the moment you said 'No,' I knew you were still the same old Bucky."

"Why do you keep pretending not to remember?" Steve questioned, his tone tinged with frustration.

Bucky remained silent, his fingers tracing the contours of the knife as he pondered his response. "I like it here," he finally replied, his voice devoid of emotion.

Steve's expression softened, a pang of sadness flickering across his features. "Why?" he pressed gently.

"No torture, no one waking me up with waterboarding. Nice place, good food, good friends," Bucky explained, his words belying the memories of the trauma he had endured.

Steve's heart ached at the reminder of Bucky's suffering. "When did your memories start to come back?" he inquired, his concern evident in his voice.

Bucky's gaze turned distant as he recalled the moment. "When the burglar hit my head with a baseball bat," he replied quietly, the memories resurfacing with painful clarity.

Steve looked at Bucky with a mixture of concern and understanding. "I can't believe you went through all of that alone. Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Bucky simply shook his head. "No."

Steve couldn't push it further. He knew Bucky was a quiet person. If he said no, there was nothing that could change his mind.

Steve drew closer, resting a comforting hand on Bucky's shoulder. "I'm going to sound heartless right now, but can you tell me about the situation with the syndicate?" he asked gently, his concern evident in his voice.

Bucky's gaze remained distant as he replied, his tone tinged with resignation. "Everything has turned to dust," he murmured, the weight of his words heavy with the memory of the battles he had fought.

Steve's eyes widened in disbelief. He couldn't fathom that Bucky, alone and unaided, had brought down the nefarious syndicate.

"That's... incredible," he breathed, struggling to find words adequate to express his astonishment.

"You could stay here forever. Your sacrifice will be rewarded," he added solemnly, his respect for his friend evident in his voice.

"But are you going to keep lying to them? Especially to the owner?" Steve questioned, his voice tinged with concern. He noticed how Bucky looked at you, a flicker of something unreadable in his eyes.

Bucky's expression remained impassive as he replied, his tone resigned. "It's for the best," he affirmed, knowing that the truth would only bring more pain and complications.

Steve nodded in understanding, his gaze lingering on Bucky for a moment before he turned to walk away. "I'll arrange your reward as soon as possible," he promised, his voice fading into the night as he disappeared from view.

Bucky watched as Steve walked away, feeling a sense of gratitude that his friend had been searching for him. Deep down, he was glad that Steve and the team had never given up on finding him.

Despite this, the pain from the torture he had endured made Bucky prefer to leave it all behind. He was grateful for the amnesia he had, as it gave him the chance to forget the pain he had experienced.

With a sigh, Bucky turned and walked back inside the bakery.

Turns out, you were waiting for him. "It's alright if you still don't remember, Bucky. You can stay here as long as you want."

Bucky felt his heart warm when he heard that. You were the person with the biggest heart.

"Yoo... I'm ordering pizza. What topping do you guys want?" Tammy suddenly appeared.

Bucky chuckled. In this place, the only place he could feel family warmth that he never had.

🌅

The next morning, Steve greeted you and Bucky with a bright smile as you both rubbed the sleep from your eyes.

"Good Morning!"

"What are you doing here so early?" Bucky asked, still trying to wake up fully.

"I wanted to give you back your old bike," Steve replied, his smile widening. "And I have something to show you both."

Confused, you and Bucky followed Steve outside, where the quiet street was suddenly disrupted by the wail of a police siren. A police car screeched to a halt in front of Rick's bakery shop.

"What's going on?" you asked, bewildered.

Steve explained, his expression serious. "It turns out the person who hired the burglar to destroy your shop is him," he said, pointing at Rick, who looked confused as he was dragged away by the police.

"That explains a lot," Bucky muttered, his expression darkening.

"He was jealous of your shop and had debts," Steve continued. "That's why he wanted to ruin your place so all the customers would go to his bakery instead."

Realization dawned on you, and you turned to Steve with gratitude in your eyes. "Did you tip off the police?" you asked.

Steve nodded proudly. "Consider it my way of showing gratitude to you. You helped my friend, and I'm here to help you."

You couldn't help but admire Steve's loyalty and friendship. "You have a great friend," you said, looking at Bucky. "Too bad you still don't remember him."

Bucky tensed at your words, shooting a warning glance at Steve, who simply smiled in response.

Despite Bucky's unease, Steve remained unfazed. "It's okay," Steve reassured, patting Bucky on the back. "You'll remember eventually."

Bucky didn't respond, his gaze distant as he watched Rick being escorted into the police car.

After the commotion had settled, Steve turned to you both. "Now, about that bike..."

As Steve handed Bucky the old bike, you couldn't help but feel a sense of gratitude towards him. Despite the challenges and uncertainties, it was comforting to know that you had someone like Steve on your side.

With Rick's scheme exposed and dealt with, you felt a weight lift off your shoulders. Perhaps now you could focus on rebuilding the bakery and moving forward.

As Steve bid farewell and left, you and Bucky exchanged a glance, silently acknowledging the bond that had formed between you.

"Looks like things are finally starting to look up," you said with a smile.

Bucky returned the smile, a hint of warmth in his eyes. "Yeah, they are."

As the sun began to rise, its gentle rays illuminated your face, casting a warm glow that seemed to banish the shadows of his past.

At that moment, gazing upon you, bathed in the light of the sunrise, felt like an answer to the nightmares he had endured.

Being here with you was enough to make him forget the torment of his past.

Together, you headed back inside the bakery, ready to face whatever challenges lay ahead, knowing that you had each other for support.

-End-

Taglist:💙🩷

@bagoffeelings

@darkofimagination

@starsofcloud

@cherrybubblebullet

@winterslove1917

@thezombieprostitute

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@therealbaberuthless

@buckys-metal-arm

@onceithough

Author Note: Hey friends,

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Only if you feel like it!

Here's the link: Ko-fi

Thanks a bunch for being fabulous followers!

[skzhua]

a price i'm willing to pay | part 14 - the sparklers.

MASTERLIST

pairing: ceo!bang chan x entrepreneur!reader

genre: social media!au, arranged marriage, fake relationship, fluff, angst.

warnings: swearing, alcohol.

summary: following a scandal threatening the survival of your business, you have no choice but to associate yourself with a competitive company.

"Wonhee will be there!" you exclaimed as you tossed your phone away.

Both Hyunjin and Minho looked at you curiously. "Who?" Hyunjin asked.

Minho was quick to hit his arm, causing the man to wince at the touch. "You've met her before, don't act like you don't know who she is."

"I would but I genuinely have no idea."

"Y/N's sister," Chan informed as he joined the three of you with a clipboard in hands. "We saw her at the bar last time we went."

"Right," Hyunjin hummed with a frown.

"Alright," Chan continued. "Hyunjin, we still have the pictures with Lix to take and then your part will be over. Jisung?"

The assistant hurried to his boss and smiled. "Here."

"Could you and Changbin change the background?"

Your best friend let out a grunt. "Again?"

"Do you want me to forgive you or not?" you said with a glare and it was plenty to shut him off and make him join Jisung at the task.

Things were advancing well with the campaign. You had much more positive feedback, even if many still believed you had tried to poison your clientele. Nonetheless, people were loving seeing you and Chan interact in such ways that they would have never thought of seeing ever. Still, he remained very unpleasant towards you, but you weren't any better so it was a fair game.

"Hair and makeup done!" Felix cheered as he walked in the studio, his GoPro pointed towards himself. "Y/N has chosen beautiful colours as you can see," he showed his eye makeup. "And, of course, Chan's new cream was used for my skin."

"Do you ever stop filming?" Jisung rolled his eyes.

"And we have our beloved Jisung who seem to be pretty grumpy this afternoon."

They continued to bicker in the background which made you chuckle as you moved on with sorting products out. You peeked at your checklist to make sure you had everything you needed and began to check the items. It wasn't long after that Chan leaned next to you on the table. With his rolled up sleeves of his black buttoned shirt, he perked an eyebrow as he watched you intensely. You did your best to ignore him but the man was not budging.

"Can't you see I'm busy?" you said between your teeth.

"Busy doing something totally unnecessary. Might I say, Y/N, I am disappointed," he said in a cheeky way.

"I prefer double-checking and being organized, is that so wrong?"

He shrugged. "I just think you're wasting time. Besides, the guys have the makeup on already. What's the point in checking?"

"In case we forgot, we can still put it– Why am I even bothering to explain this to you?" you groaned, dropping the list on the table and walking off.

This might have been the tenth encounter of this sort that you'd had with him today and knowing he was still going to be around until late at night, this was not encouraging in any way. Perhaps backing out and staying at home was a better option.

But having Wonhee as a sister meant she had to force you to come along, especially since you were the one to invite her technically. After you had went back home, washed up and changed, you were walking to the club with your arms linked. Jeongin was the one to change the destination, arguing that it would be more fun than a regular restaurant with alcohol on the side.

"So how many are we going to be exactly?" Wonhee questioned you as you were getting closer to your destination.

Your eyebrows furrowed as you counted in your mind. "Let's see... Well, Bin and Minho obviously so them plus us is four. Jeongin, that makes us five. Chan and his staff, so that's now eight... And with Hyunjin and Felix, that makes us ten," you smiled.

Your sister, however, looked at you doubtfully. "Chan's staff... Does it mean..?"

You chuckled. "Yes, Seungmin will be there."

She stopped on her tracks right away. "You didn't think of telling me that?"

"When I said everyone would be there, I thought it obviously implied Seungmin."

"Y/N, I can't meet him like this!" she shouted while looking down at her outfit.

"You look fine," you rolled your eyes.

Forcefully, you dragged her all the way to the club as she babbled about how ugly she looked — though she was very much adequately dressed for the occasion. As you walked in, it didn't take long for you to spot the tall Hyunjin who was chatting with the one you dreaded to see once again. Chan had, for once, decided to let go of his usual dark attires and wore a tight white shirt with oversized pants. His hair was slicked back and he adorned his ears with silver jewellery. You couldn't deny he looked fine as hell, especially with the lighting that emphasized the veins on his arms. The way he was leaning on the table and taking a few sips of his drink was insanely attractive.

"You're staring," Wonhee commented and you glared at her.

"I spotted Hyunjin, that's all."

She definitely did not believe you and was about to make another remark until her eyes fell upon Seungmin. Instantly, she froze on the spot with a gulp.

"Who's staring now?" you laughed and it was her turn to glare.

"And the Ko sisters have arrived!" Jeongin exclaimed as he came to join you along with Minho, engulfing you two into his embrace. "I managed to reserve a table for everyone."

He led you to where you had previously stared at and didn't let you say a thing before sitting you down next to Chan. You were about to get up and yell at your friend but a hand grabbed your wrist to pull you back down. Again, you were seated and Chan's grasp moved from your wrist to your shoulder.

"What-"

He put a finger on your mouth, shushing you. "There are people around, we're a couple right now."

As you scanned the club, you saw how some people had stopped to greet Hyunjin and Jeongin while others took pictures. Right, you were surrounded with well-known models. You hesitantly snuggled into his embrace before he placed a small peck on the top of your head. It took everything in you to not puke right there and then.

"Get a room," Felix joked as he sat on your other side. "Since when do you kiss her?"

Chan sighed. "It wasn't a kiss. Don't you have more important things to do instead of judging me?"

"I do, you're right. So? Who's paying tonight? I need to get myself something to drink."

Seungmin joined in and took his credit card out. "I don't mind paying this time."

This caused Wonhee's eyes to glow and she rushed to the man. "Seungminnie, could I get something too?"

"Of course," he said with a smirk.

You noticed Minho — who had watched the interaction with much displeasure — rolling his eyes with one hand in his pocket and the other holding his newly bought cocktail. Poor guy.

"Could you please order my drink as well, Felix?" you asked the man as he snatched Seungmin's card out of his hand.

"Yeah, what do you want?"

To this, Chan's eyes darkened at his friend. Before you could give your answer, he spoke for you. "I'll pay for her drink, you may go."

Felix gulped, getting slightly scared of his friend, but nodded before walking to the bar. You scoffed at your fake-lover and removed his arm that laid on your shoulder.

"You really are a pain in the ass," you grunted.

"I should be the one paying for you, don't you think?"

"I can pay for myself."

He scoffed. "You say that now but asked for Felix to get you something with Seungmin's card. You had no issue with that."

"It's Seungmin, not you."

With that, you stood up and headed towards where Minho was as he was the furthest away from the man you despised so much. As he saw you approaching with fuming ears, his eyes widened.

"Woah, don't be mad at me, I did nothing," he hurried to say with his hands up.

"Where's Changbin?"

"No idea, he disappeared when we arrived."

You groaned out of frustration. "Great, it's always when I need him that he disappears."

Minho faked being hurt. "Am I not a good enough? You really prefer Changbin over me?" he cried.

You deadpanned at him. "Shut up, I'm pissed and he's the only one who can calm down. Besides, you're pissed as well, you wouldn't be much help."

"I'm not pissed," he muttered under his breath.

"Yeah, right. Don't tell me seeing my sister all over Seungmin doesn't fill you with anger."

That shut him up real quick and he pouted while sipping on his alcohol. From afar, the two of you looked miserable. You watched people on the dancefloor with a bored stare. It took only a few minutes for Chan to find you again and you couldn’t help but groan again.

“I’m going to find Changbin.”

Minho nodded at your statement as to say “good luck��� and you took off. It was hard to walk through the sweaty crowd but, eventually found your best friend discussing with a woman who had definitely drank more than she could handle. He was quick to meet eyes with you and abandon the lady upon seeing how displeased you looked.

“What did I miss?” he asked while you stole his beer, drinking it in one go. “Woah, take it easy!”

“I won’t when this bastard is up in my ass.”

He sighed. “You can’t be saying this here.”

“Why? Because we are in public? Weren’t you the first one to disagree with this?”

“I was but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about how a small thing can ruin you again.”

You scoffed. “I’m only speaking the truth. Now, where can I get a shot?”

Changbin didn’t want to comply to your demands as he knew you would get yourself so drunk to the point you wouldn’t be able to stand. At the same time, you were so stubborn that it was impossible to get in your way sometimes. Felling guilty already, he brought you to the nearest bar and ordered four shots for the two of you. You chugged them not even a second after getting a hold of them. Wincing at the strong liquor, you still ordered one more, and one more after.

“How many has she had?” Jeongin asked in a concerned voice, watching you dance clumsily with Changbin.

“Who?” Chan said as he hadn’t really been observing what was going on.

“Your girlfriend,” Wonhee laughed as she pulled her phone out to capture the moment in a video. “Oh, she’s so going to hate me for this.”

Chan’s head shot up from his nearly empty glass to try and find you. When he did, his eyes widened at the sight. With your rosy cheeks, you were smiling admirably to your best friend who was trying his best to keep you up on your feet. He was glad you were not alone but the way you were holding to one another didn’t look as if you were only friends. It bothered him. Only because of your arrangement, of course. Before he was thinking, his body got up from his seat and he walked towards you. Without saying a thing, he separated you from Changbin and took over with holding you. You were probably too drunk to even process the change of dance partner, but Changbin only removed himself silently. He wouldn’t bother with protesting anyway; Chan’s eyes were enough to make him want to pee himself right there and then.

“How many did you drink?” he said into your ear, and you shivered.

“I don’t know.”

“I think you had too much.”

You pouted at him. “It’s your fault.”

“Mine? You were the one storming off.”

“Because you were annoying,” you cried, which made him sigh.

He dragged you all the way back to the table where the others were drinking reasonably. He sat you next to your sister, but she wasn’t much of a help. If anything, she was only laughing at your physical state and taking pictures. Sighing again, he took it upon himself to get you water to sober up. You already seemed to be a little better.

“They’re selling cakes with sparklers if it’s your birthday!” Felix said enthusiastically while pointing at the corner of the club. “We should get some.”

At this, you pushed the glass of water away from you and clapped. “Oh, for sure!”

Chan mentally cursed at himself before glaring at Felix. “Do you really want to fake a birthday only to get some cheap sparklers?”

You slapped his chest and his eyes widened from the contact. “They’re pretty.”

“So am I and you have me for free.”

Felix and Seungmin held back a laugh while you simply shrugged. “I’m getting some whether you like it or not.”

Before he could stop you, you were off with Felix, Seungmin and Wonhee to get sparklers. Who the fuck were selling these things in a club anyway? It was bound to be a disaster. He wondered if he should at least follow to keep an eye on you but the decision was quickly made when he saw you stumble on your feet, almost falling.

You felt a pair of arms holding you and you frowned. "Why do you have to act like I can't do things on my own?" you whined.

"Y/N, you almost fell face first."

Grumbling disapprovals, you still grabbed onto him for safety until you were at the cake counter. Felix was the one to discuss with the girl in charge of the cakes and they argued a bit as she noticed it was none of you's birthday. As they keot on bickering, Chan rolled his eyes as he knew he had to step in.

"Excuse me?" he cleared his throat grabbing the woman's attention.

The moment she saw he had just spoken, her posture straightened. "Mr. Bang," she almost whispered. "What an honour to have you here!"

"I understand my friends do not fit into your criterias for the cakes but I swear they only really want to play with the sparklers."

"I'm sorry, sir, but sparklers in a club-"

"I'll take them outside for when we lit them up, I promise."

By magic, this did the trick and the woman gave you about thirty of them. Seungmin went to get the others and you all went outside to lit them up. You, Felix and Jeongin were the most excited about them while Chan and Changbin were the most worried. Nonetheless, you took Minho's lighter from him as soon as he took it out of his pocket and hurried yourself to lit your sparklers up.

You admired them for what seemed to be an eternity until you ran out of them. Hyunjin declared this was enough for the night as he still had work to do the following day. The rest ended up agreeing and you all walked home.

"I'll take her," Chan said to Changbin who was not willing to let you go.

"I'm the assigned person to take her home."

"It'll be weird if a man other than her lover does it."

Changbin, for once, didn't budge. "Listen, Bang. I get you two have this thing for publicity but she is in a vulnerable state right now. While I do get your point, you're not the one who has known her for eight years and been there when she needed someone the most. Don't think because you are supposedly her boyfriend that you get to take this from us."

And he left with you.

This might have come from a deeper place than simply getting you home but Changbin had had enough. He couldn't risk you getting hurt by this man. Especially not when he had noticed how you were warming up to him.

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[blacklegsanjiii]

First of all im so sorry for the long askbut!! New parent idea 💥💥 i present to you: King

Now hear me out, you might be thinking ‘really??? King from wano the bird guy?? Why tf’ but my good sir there are multiple reasons

1. Fire! King is from a race called lurarians (he’s infact the last of his people because theyre world wide known as beautiful because of their white hair, dark skin and beautiful black wings) lurarians are also known to be able to set themselves on fire! So that fits prettyyy well with sanji

So if we take pt 1 with us and expand it...

2. Test subject ✨ we all know Sanji is judge 3rd expiriment and also that vegapunk has made the seraphims of the warlords combined with kings lurarian DNA to make very strong clones. Judge and vegapunk were also in a science group together so they might have some shared notes and materials...

So that brings me to the parent King au...

What if vegapunk and judge kept in touch and decided to keep King in germas dungeon for the foreseeable future because its very well guarded etc etc so he is essentially both vegapunk and judges labrat

And when judge is busy with Sora and Reiju he notices that while reiju hasnt failed his expectations for power, he can always do better so with the quadruplets he also decides to mix kings lurarian DNA in for even stronger child soldiers (so 1234ji have 3 bio parents lmao)

Maybe this alters their appearance also a bit? (Mini baby wings 🥺 that they hide becausd its a weakness maybe 124ji got them amputated later in life while sanji ofcourse kept his hidden)

But anyway canon continues and sanji gets thrown into the dungeon with his mask... Here he meets a huge winged man. First days maybe weeks they dont really talk but sanji is a child and starts talking to king because he's lonely

They startbonding and in the next almost year that sanji is stuck there they really learn to love each other and sanji shows king his baby wings and king just decides 'yup thats my kid' teaches him to groom and how to fold/hide them without being in to much pain

But then vegapunk and judge fight and split up, king was originally vegapunks labrat so he is also taken from sanji.

Canon continues with them both respectively escaping,king tried to find sanji but couldnt bc germa is very stealthy and nobody knows where they are so he joins kaido etc etc

And then they meet again in wano.

Thoughts :0?

I had to double check King's age to make sure this is plausible and yeah, he's 47. He can fully adopt Sanji. I support this fully, fire boys unite! Also imagine Heterochromia!Sanji, one blue eye and one red.

King who is Vegapunks labrat being experimented on for a good while before Reiju and the quads come along, hell, even before Sora coming along. Captured as a teenager and being held captive and tortured for years. Eventually he's locked in the dungeon and left there to rot even after Vegapunk leaves to focus on other things but leaves him in Germa. No one really interacts with the Lunarian except to bring him food and water to keep him alive in case they do decide they want to do something with him again. What it could be he doesn't know what more they could do.

Judge however has gotten married and had a daughter already but notices her flaws and while she's not a full failure, he could do better. So he infuses the Lunarians DNA with those of his coming sons, despite his wife taking that poison she won't be able to do much to get rid of that at least. He can deal with the other failures she causes later but right now he's unworried. Even when the children come, the third one is wrong, he's blond instead of darkhaired, he's easily bruised. Unfortunate really. He had high hopes for that one particularly, for the stealth instead of brute force the others were for.

He sees the wings and knows he still at least has the Lunarian DNA, he might still have some use. Maybe.

He's not and it's clear by the time Sanji is six. Weak and crying and frail compared to his siblings. He has a full range of emotions which even Reiju doesn't have. Disgusted Judge throws him in the dungeon, a metal cover his head and unconcerned if he dies down there, Sanji screaming and crying for him to come back. Apologizing to his father over and over again as if it will change anything. It doesn't. He's trapped alone in the cell but there's someone down here with him. There's a man, tall with white hair and black wings like he has, only a few years older than his mother. He's telling Sanji to quiet down, no one will come get him. Sanji can't stop crying so he apologizes and sits in the back of his cell. King gives his real name to the kid, introduces himself as Alber to the boy, he is a boy after all, small and frail and so utterly broken and too young to be there. He knows what it's like to be a failure after all. It takes all of a day for King to see the small black wings the kid has. His wings are in awful condition: Bald spots, cuts, bruises, broken feathers. King remembers what that was like, the uncomfortable feeling and itching, those wings are from Lunarians though, so this kid has his DNA or there's another Lunarian here possibly. Both are bad options, no one should be forced to live as he has. No one.

They're together for a year and some change and in that time 124ji find out about Sanji and King almost burns the little princes for what they're doing. They have wings as well, atrophied and unworked like his are. He can only stretch his so far in this cramped cell. He hears the crunch of bones in the younger's cell. He throws fire at them once and is doused in water unforgivingly. They're incredibly close, King hasn't told the boy this where his wings come from and Sanji asks if he's where his red eye comes from and King says probably, albeit he's confused about that, he's only seen the blue one.

He teaches Sanji how to preen and hide his wings more comfortably and for protection. King tells him they will be his pride and joy and he will be able to fly with them. Sanji says he hopes so. They've been together for a year and some change when they take King away from Sanji. They tranquilize him and the last thing King hears is Sanji screaming and begging for them not to take him. He wakes up to Vegapunk telling him it's time to continue their work. King stays for a year, working on getting his wings back to functioning, preening and carrying for them. Then he escapes. It's a mess getting out but he needs to get out. Needs to find Sanji, his son. He will find his son.

So he breaks out and goes hunting for Germa but hears the kids saying Sanji better be dead since he's out of the dungeon, which means he escaped. As relieved as that makes him it means he has more searching to do. He looks and looks for years and years. He doesn't find him though and ends up in Wano under Kaido, working his way up to becoming an All Star. He hides who he is and decides he'll wait, maybe Sanji will pass by.

Sanji on the other hand is going through canon mostly normally, I think having King there would partially impact how he views woman but also for as much flirting as he does he doesn't actually sleep with anyone. Zeff found out he has wings while on the rock because he's crying about how fucked they are. Zeff is staring at the black wings attached to this kid and helps him hide them when they're saved, threatens the doctor to keep quiet.

Zeff helps Sanji rehab them before Baratie opens and after it does he lets the boy fly to his heart's content. Patty and Carne will save him if he falls in the water, he can still swim but his wings are not made for water. Is he still amazing at it? 100% but like, he's not a duck or a penguin. He's part Lunarian. He wears coats like the vice admirals and admirals do. Off his shoulders to hide his wings, to keep them safe as he goes about his day. He doesn't really over heat thanks to his Lunarian traits but when he gets cold, it's so fucking cold to him.

When he joins the crew everyone thinks he's kind of prissy with the full suit+extra jacket thing he has but...he's illegal. He's an illegal race and if he gets found out he's fucked. Drum island is when Luffy and Nami find out. Sanji is begging for Kureha and Chopper to not tell anyone which they assure they won't. Kureha does tell him he's lucky he only broke his back and not his wings. Chopper says they're in desperate need of preening and Sanji admits he hasn't done it since he left the Baratie because he didn't want to get caught. He mumbles it all of course but Nami and Luffy are looking at the black monstrous wings as they unfurl and Chopper is amazed at them. They're huge. He has to have a ten/fifteen foot wingspan(if not more but anime logic) and Luffy asks how you preen wings and Chopper shows him despite Sanji insisting he can do it himself. It's too late and Chopper and Luffy are preening a wing and it feels good. Zeff didn't even preen him, not unless Sanji asked and Sanji was too proud to ask normally. Even Nami touches them and is surprised how soft they are.

They leave with Chopper and make it off Drum island and to Alabasta and meet Ace. Sanji is fine in the heat, he's in so many layers though it concerns everyone but he waves them off. He's sworn Nami and Chopper to secrecy but not Luffy because he bought his silence with meat. Sanji is so lucky he didn't inherit more traits from Alber because that cigar marine is tailing them and here and if it wasn't for these covers over his wings h would put to death immediately. Even as they take Alabasta back he doesn't uncover his wings. Not until they leave again and Nami is getting upset with him saying they need preened and that she'll do it while he's on watch. Nico Robin has joined the crew and he doesn't trust her that much and he'd rather not trouble Nami at all but she basically throws him to his knees and starts preening. If Sanji moves to help she threatens to raise his debt which he doesn't understand.

Robin probably knows but no one has else finds out until post TS. He can sill sky walk, he still learned it and to keep his secret. But no one else knows, not until WCI/Wano. Sanji notices his brothers wings are gone and Sanji is the only one left with them. The black wings he cannot cover with his red cape so at least one is always showing as well as his red eye. It has wigged some of his crew out until he showed both eyes at the same time and Robin called him interesting in the way she does some poneglyphs or rituals she reads about.

It made his stomach turn. Just as it is now as he's being called interesting again and Pudding is saying their kids have wings like he does. Big Mom says she thought Lunarians are extinct and Judge says they are. The quadruplets are only infused with the DNA, not actually Lunarian. Sanji wants to vomit.

He'd claim to be an illegal race than to be a Vinsmoke. So during the escape he claims it. He flies and it's awkward so it's a combination of sky walking and flying. Carrying Luffy and Nami to safety. His bounty skyrockets as they head to Wano. It's higher than Zoro's as Nami preens his wings and Luffy coming to help after he's had a nap and some food that Sanji made. He's wanted dead or alive with Vinsmoke as his last name unfortunately and being Lunarian added to his list of crimes.

Everyone seeing his wings in Wano is new and he asks everyone not to touch them. Zoro is confused because the fuck cook? I'm your rival? And Sanji shrugs because he doesn't know what else to do. Then fights keep happening. He uses the raid suit a couple of times, the second time is the worst. He's fighting Alber, he's sure of it. He's so fucking sure but he's drilled through buildings and he's certain Alber is going to kill him for this.

Maybe after the raid Sanji finds a moment alone before Zoro and Luffy wake up. Maybe King the Wild Fire finds him and they talk and catch up. Maybe King preens his son's wings like he always wanted to. Maybe King joins the crew.

Maybe King went to the East Blue, found the Baratie, met Zeff. They would bond over the Eggplant. Sanji's second place in the bounties. When he gets to Egghead he has no sympathy for Vegapunk, he does for Kuma and Bonney but for what he's done to his family? Never. He will never forgive him.

[user2718273]

Terrorheads r always dunking on goodsir for the moral absolutism & then having absolutely no nuance in their own conceptions of good & evil. Like when goodsir finally snaps & poisons the mutineers ppl are like "oh see hes a bad person cus he couldnt forgive them cus he only thinks in black & white!!!!" but like bro. If somebody kidnapped u and forced u to carve up your coworkers' bodies for consumption u would not feel too friendly toward them i think. Or just how ppl talk abt goodsir in general. Like yeah he believes in colonizer shit, he was raised by colonizers. Every1 on the ships believes in colonizer shit i fear. But he gets more shit abt it than anyone else bc theres this weird conception that its worse to try and do good and get it wrong than to just straight up act out of vanity or greed. Not that goodsir should be absolved of anything, but its weird how ppl have so little empathy for characters whose desire to do good is tainted by ideological conditioning. Like bro i hate to break it to u. We all have ideological conditioning. If u act like thats some inherent moral flaw and not the inevitable product of living in a society and absorbing that society's beliefs, u will have a very hard time recognizing it outside of tv shows where people are just characters.

Also theres a difference between having no empathy for franklins men bc ur pissed at them and having no empathy out of principle. I feel like theres some recognition of personhood that comes w putting someone on the receiving end of a human emotion like anger, whereas if ur just like "logically i know colonizer bad, so empathy for colonizer = bad," ur putting them on a subhuman level out of the reach of emotion. U dont feel anger or empathy for them. U never find out what u feel toward them bc without accepting the possibility that u might reach muddy, nuanced, morally frustrating conclusions, theres no wiggle room to feel what u feel. But then u never get to feel the anger either. U cant understand things from either side bc once u start trying to sort everything into concrete moral categories, then ur not understanding individuals, ur defining variables, and everything becomes theoretical. I feel like thats part of the reason why when ppl put the expedition on the level of the subhuman, they often elevate the netsilik to the superhuman. Like ppl have a weirdly hard time conceptualizing that silna has complex motivations & is capable of developing complex relationships w other characters? Theyre just like "oh wow shes being so nice to goodsir, she must have stockholm syndrome or be wayyy too forgiving." Cus if u imagine franklins men as having one pure and self-contained nature that opposes the pure and self-contained nature of the netsilik, then theres no way they can genuinely interact. They can only touch each other under the guise of something else. Silna must not adequately understand goodsir's role in the fuckery ripping up her world. Which is ridonkulous to me bc her first interaction w him was when his party shot her father & then goodsir prevented him from dying on the ice. Like. She is not under any illusions that this man isnt part of the hurt and destruction. She just finds a way to care abt him anyway. Not bc she's some fountain of forgiveness, but bc despite the things she must hate about him, there are also things she loves. Same w crozier. Idk if she feels affection for him in the same way she does goodsir, but she def doesnt just save him bc shes a saint. She feels anger and bitterness just like any other person, and if she wanted to, she couldve left crozier to die like des voeux. Personally i think she saved him bc he was the only one left who had seen what she'd seen and she didnt wanna have to bear it alone but idk. She had her reasons. Anyway goodsir is literally a butch buttom so the wokes cant even get her. #She positionality on my moral puritanism til i absolve

[nodus--tollens]

ii. A Caress of Poisoned Petals

I'm still not sure if I'll keep writing it but I shall try my best.

Part 1 (epilogue) is here, all interactions are appreciated!

It had been a few months since Jayce first stepped into the apothecary, and by now, he had become something of a familiar presence, lingering like the bittersweet trace of dried rosemary tucked into the shelves. One might even call them acquaintances—perhaps edging toward the quiet comfort of friendship. His first visit had been purely practical, a task handed down by Viktor to retrieve herbs for a medicinal prescription. The second and third visits followed the same pattern, businesslike and purposeful. But the fourth visit was different. This time, it was of his own accord.

He carried on his face a shy smile, sweet and fleeting, like a Night-Blooming Jasmine that saved its beauty for the quiet of the night.

– Did Viktor send you again? – The apothecary's voice carried a quiet amusement, their body leaning toward the front desk as they rested their hands gently on the smooth mahogany surface.

It was strange, yet undeniably true—there was no falsifying the facts. Jayce's presence had become almost routine. Every Tuesday at precisely 6:35 p.m., just as the soft yellow glow of the golden hour filtered through the large windows of the small shop, casting its warmth across the room. The light touched every surface it could reach, transforming the space. The herbs, once dry and lifeless, now shimmered like liquid gold, their colors deepened by the fading light. And Jayce, with his hazel eyes, became something otherworldly—his gaze now like the purest honey, rich and sweet, the kind one could only dream of finding and paying for, dripping with a warmth all its own.

– Not this time, no. – His voice was steady, though there was a slight shake to his head, as if the words themselves carried a weight. His appearance had changed too—his hair, once short and always slicked back, had grown longer, now parted in the middle with the sides softly falling over his face. His beard, which had always been neatly shaved, now grew longer, if he hadn't been here just last week, one might have thought he’d been gone for months. – I need something for myself, something for pain.

– What kind? – A frown formed itself on the apothecary face, their gaze sharpening as they studied the man across the desk. Their eyes, usually so calm, now searched his face with quiet intensity, as if looking for something beyond the surface. – Physical, emotional?  

– I suppose it’s a bit of both. – Jayce stepped closer, settling into the empty chair with quiet deliberation, his elbows resting on the hard wood surface. A heavy sigh escaped his lips, the sound like a Black Hellebore wilting at the edge of a forgotten garden, its once-dark petals now lost in the shadows of time. – Think you can help me?

– I suppose I can help with the physical part more than the emotional one. – A soft chuckle escaped their lips, light but genuine, as if the weight of the request was somehow eased by their calm. Turning slowly, the apothecary’s body shifted with a fluid grace, the rustle of their robe cutting through the stillness of the room. The sound of their boots meeting the stone floor echoed through the space, a rhythmic tap that resonated against the quiet, adding a grounding note to the air like the earthy scent of sandalwood.

The sound of cabinets opening and closing punctuated the air, each movement adding another layer to the symphony of quiet sounds that filled the room, not all heard yet acknowledged. The mortar and pestle ground fresh herbs, the soft crackling of dried stems breaking under pressure resembling a lullaby—a comforting hum that lingered in the stillness, like the quiet song of someone unable to fall asleep in the dead of night. Parchment paper was carefully placed on the scale, the rustle of its edges faint but deliberate, like wrapping gifts just before Christmas day. As dried leaves and herbs were added, their weight produced a muffled metallic sound against the faintly cold surface, followed by the soft whisper of thread being tied and secured, the ritual complete with an almost reverent finality.

Jayce’s eyes followed each movement with the attention of someone watching a shooting star streak across the sky during the Geminids meteor shower in December—quick, fleeting, yet impossible to look away from. He observed the way their fingers moved with precision when tying each small package, the way the thread got slightly caught on the corner of their nails, how the dark green, almost black robe shifted with every subtle motion. The light from the window caught the glass vials, their surfaces shimmering briefly, only to reflect off the apothecary’s hair and skin, casting fleeting glimmers of gold and amber. It was hypnotizing, like witnessing a delicate dance where every shift of light seemed to pull him deeper into the quiet rhythm of the room.

Walking back to the front desk, the apothecary placed fourteen small parchment packages carefully on the surface, all named accordingly, each one settling with a soft rustle, the crisp edges of the paper folding slightly under their weight. Alongside them, a small tin was placed, its metal edge making a quiet, gentle cling as it met the smooth wood of the counter.

– This is enough for one week. – The apothecary explained, their voice steady and clear as they gestured to the packages before them. – Willow Bark and Turmeric tea in the morning to help with muscle pain, Chamomile and Passionflower tea at night to ease whatever keeps your mind from resting, be it small or big. – Their fingers gently tapped the small tin beside the papers, the nail touching the lid with a light, rhythmic clink. – The tin contains Arnica and Peppermint cream. It should help relieve any pain you have, whenever you need it.

– Thank you. – He whispered, a small smile on his face, his eyes that held tiredness seemed to come to life for a brief moment, like the soft bell of a Lily of the Valley, delicate and sweet, yet fleeting.

– You really don’t have to thank me. – Came the soft reply, the words almost a gentle murmur.

The transactions were made in silence, the only sounds breaking the stillness being the soft clink of metal and the rustle of parchment as it was folded and placed in a bag. Outside, the wind had nearly ceased, leaving the air still, while the gentle drip from the spout came to an abrupt halt.

– I’ll see you again next week, my dear apothecary. – He said, his voice as sweet as the soft hum of a spoon stirring honey into warm tea—smooth, soothing, and full of quiet comfort. It was the first time he had said "see you again" instead of the usual fleeting goodbye.

Before they could reply, he had already gone, the door clicking shut behind him. The room darkened as the golden hue of the setting sun seemed to slip away with his departure, leaving only the gentle rhythm of their breath and the faint, lingering echo of the bell. It was as if the room itself sighed, the soft sound of its fading chime the last trace of his presence.

– I’ll see again then, Jayce. – They said softly, the words carrying a warmth that seemed to linger in the air, like the final notes of a familiar lullaby.

[crackshipoftheweek]

Crack Ship of the Week back again with another post! (After nearly an entire month) Lately I've been working a lot of 10+ hour shifts at my current job, along with helping out at my family's restaurant, updating my résumé, and searching for other jobs to advance my culinary career, so I've been really busy, sorry for not posting in quite a while. On the plus side, I've managed to network with some industry professionals higher up the ladder, and I was recently contracted by a personal chef agency!

Without further ado, let's bring out

This Week's Crackship:

Party Poison (Danger Days) × Johnny Silverhand (Cyberpunk)

Ship Name(s):

Poison Hand, Dim Mak (see notes below for explanation), Rockerboys, Ronin (see notes below for explanation)

Why It's Crack:

No interactions (separate canons)

Why It's Cracked:

Canons share many similarities. Both are cyberpunk series set in an alternate universe California in the near future (now partially set in the near past, as well), following a war or series of wars that negatively impacted the United States' geopolitical power, costing it territory that would be filled in by an independent city-state (Battery City in Danger Days, and Night City in Cyberpunk) and the resultant power vacuum being filled in by megacorporations (Better Living Industries in Danger Days and Arasaka in Cyberpunk. Like Arasaka, Better Living also seems to be a multinational corporation with at least some notable amount of presence in Japan, hence Better Living having had a .jp domain during the Danger Days album's promotional period, as well as using both English and Japanese writing in much of its content). Crossover potential abounds

Both fill very similar niches in their respective stories (renegade rockers who rebel against corporate overreach with the power of punk rock, and occasionally this gun they found. They both became the exemplar of their respective series' spin on the "rebel with a cause" archetype [Killjoys in Danger Days, and Rockerboys in Cyberpunk])

Both lived and operated in similar timeframes, not taking into account Johnny's engram whom stars in Cyberpunk 2077. Party was active in the 2010s up until his death in 2019, and Johnny was active throughout the 2000s up until his death in 2023)

Both may also be war veterans (Johnny is a confirmed war veteran who deserted the US Military in protest of the government's corruption and purposeful destabilization of Central and South America. Party Poison may have been one of the many Killjoys to take part in the Analog Wars, though this isn't confirmed iirc)

Both died a similar death, to somewhat similar people, for similar reasons. Both raided the main HQ of their respective antagonistic megacorps in order to rescue an abducted loved one (surrogate little sister "The Girl" in Party's case, and former lover Alt Cunningham in Johnny's case), during which they were brutally gunned down by their corporate foes' bald and sociopathic enforcer (Korse and Adam Smasher, respectively)

Both dye their hair. Party Poison's hair is dyed red (natural color unknown afaik), and Johnny Silverhand dyes his hair black, with it being naturally blond.

Notes

"Dim Mak", also known as "Poison Hand" or "Touch of Death" is a purported system of acupressure-based martial arts said to have originated in ancient China and been culturally imported to Japan. Count Juan Raphael Dante, an eccentric martial arts practitioner who taught karate in the 60s and 70s, also claimed to be able to teach Dim Mak to prospective students, infamously advertising this alleged service in the back page ad spaces in Marvel comic books of the time. This likely was seen at times by Gerard Way, an avid comic fan, as he titled one of the songs in the wider Danger Days multimedia project as Black Dragon Fighting Society, which shares an identical name with the martial arts organization founded by Count Dante. "Dim Mak" is also the name of a record label founded by Steve Aoki, who made a remix of the famous My Chemical Romance song "Welcome to the Black Parade". This fact is also relevant to the ship as Dim Mak distributes punk rock music, with punk rock being the primary genre performed by both Party Poison and Johnny Silverhand.

"Ronin" was chosen a ship name due to their shared status as outlaw warriors, similar to (but generally less shitty towards bystanders than) the ronin of Sengoku and early Edo-period Japan. Party is an outlaw vigilante who fights against BLI, whereas Johnny is a former US soldier who deserted and fled prosecution by moving to Night City. In addition, this name was chosen in reference to Johnny's band, Samurai. Keanu Reeves, who portrays Johnny in Cyberpunk 2077, also starred in the 2013 American remake of The 47 Ronin (unfortunately)

[du-shadowraven]

INK AND WASH AU

Finished the new au design!

(Please excuse my limited writing skills.😂)

*No y/n for this au.

*Feel free to interact if you want! You can choose to interact with the sun and moon by substituting your own y/n.

⚠Please understand that any form of NSFW is prohibited when interacting.⚠

(This au is inspired by the Yin-Yang Bagua diagram.)

World elements: Chinese-style / ancient style / martial arts

Dynasty: Similar to Han Dynasty.

Sun and Moon still share the same body, and their forms can be switched freely. (However, there are restrictions on the conditions of change, daytime is Sun, night is Moon.)

Background story:

"TAIJI BAGUA, with the center of the same circle as the boundary, draw two equal Yin and Yang fish to show the relationship between everything. The Yin fish is black and the Yang fish is white, which is the representation of day and night. Yang fish has a Yin eye on its head, which means that all things are transforming and penetrating each other. There is Yang in Yin, and there is Yin in Yang, and Yin and Yang are compatible and mutually reinforcing."

The ink drips onto the Xuan paper and the Yin-Yang Bagua diagram in the paper creates a ripple. When more ink is spilled on the paper, they quickly merge with the Yin-Yang diagram and then the Yin-Yang diagram starts to split into a black and a white individual, which is the prototype of the moon and the sun, and after they merge again, the Xuan paper extends into a long scroll and the ink in the paper continues to shape the picture......

Finally, the scroll slowly emerges as a painting of the river and the lake in ink, and a new world is created-----a world made of ink.

About Sun:

Sun is a scholar who is also the "Yang" of the Yin-Yang Bagua diagram, and is sometimes followed by white fishes with black eyes, they can be touched and feel smooth as silk........

Sun's body is mainly made of light ink, and the fan he holds in his hand is shaped with his own ink, so he can change its appearance freely.

About his personality: gentle and elegant, treat people sincerely, he will not use any violent means to solve problems. Sun occasionally will have a strong side, he can not tolerate to bully the weak behavior, although Sun is far less dangerous than Moon, but with his "good at words" ability, many of the abusers have been convinced by him.

About Moon:

Moon is the exact opposite of Sun. He is an assassin and the "Yin" of the Yin-Yang Bagua diagram, and is surrounded by black fish with white eyes that cannot be touched and are so corrosive that the slightest touch will cause the wound to decay and a black liquid to flow out. Moon often uses the ink on the black fish to apply poison on the concealed weapon.

Moon's body is mainly made of pine smoke ink. The cold weapons he uses for assassination are daggers, flying knives, and sword thrusts, but for him, any tool can become a weapon, and he can also use his own ink to shape a weapon.

(For example, the sword he carries on his waist.)

About his personality: compared to Sun, Moon is more calm and collected. Moon has always been used to staying in the shadows and observing things around him, but occasionally he has a gentle side: he strokes wild cats in his free time, because he prefers quiet creatures.

About what they have in common: They can also see what's around them through the white and black fish, which is good for Moon, who often conducts assassination operations, and Sun, who often uses them to view the view from high up. (But black and white fish cannot hear sounds.)

[joeliz99]

Remus Lupin- Beneath the Surface

Remus Lupin

Marauders Era

Year 1977 (Sixth Year at Hogwarts)

(Y/N) Bristol had always been a focused young woman with very few friends. While many of her peers spent their time goofing off or falling in love, she meticulously set goals for her future. That’s why working on a poison antidote essay with Remus Lupin didn’t seem like a great idea. The brown-haired boy was associated with Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew, who always seemed to be in trouble or seeking attention. This group of boys disliked following rules or apologizing for their mistakes; they were simply reckless. Therefore, it was understandable that the young woman was reluctant to be paired with the sixth-year student.

However, over the course of their meetings, (Y/N) realized that Remus Lupin was much more than he appeared when surrounded by his friends. He was shy and reserved, respectful in his interactions, and incredibly intelligent. But to be fair, everyone knew that. The now-prefect of Gryffindor House was always on the list of top students in most of their subjects. She was also on that list, of course, but she often went unnoticed.

Up until now, Remus had acknowledged her existence only a few times, and he occasionally wondered how he hadn’t paid more attention to her before. (Y/N) always seemed to have answers for everything. She was prudent, serene, and genuine, truly herself. Talking to her felt like taking a breath of fresh air—an experience he could repeat over and over.

Sitting on the clock tower’s courtyard, they discussed trivial matters while adding final touches to the essay they had been working on for the past two weeks. She held a parchment and quill, while Remus had several books resting on his lap.

“So, what do you want to do after you leave Hogwarts?” The girl glanced up from her parchment when she heard the question.

“I definitely want to be a Healer. It’s been a dream of mine since I was little.”

“Can I ask why?” Remus inquired curiously, leaning back on his arms.

“My grandfather was a Healer until recently. From a young age, I saw how passionate he was about his career and how many people he helped with his knowledge. I loved sitting with him in the afternoons and hearing about his workday. I want to help as many people as he did and never forget to be empathetic or humble with my roots.” A smile appeared on Remus’s face upon hearing this, and (Y/N) mirrored his expression with a small smile of her own. “What about you?”

“Um... Honestly, I’m still not sure what I want to do when I leave here. Maybe teaching? I don’t know.” He shrugged dismissively. “I hope to have a clearer idea before we graduate.”

“I’m sure you will. Don’t worry too much about it.” The young woman responded before continuing with the next question. “How did you get all those marks on your body?”

“What?” The boy’s brow furrowed, and his body tensed immediately—a reaction that did not go unnoticed by (Y/N), who instantly regretted asking the question.

“Forget it, I shouldn’t have asked that. Let’s move on to...”

“Wait, (Y/N),” Remus interrupted. “It’s nothing. You just caught me by surprise...” His mind wandered for a few moments, trying to figure out how to answer the question while sounding truthful. “I’ve always been clumsy. My parents always had to keep an eye on me because turning away for a second meant I’d end up hurting myself. We thought it would stop when I grew up, but it didn’t.” He shrugged and avoided her gaze, knowing that if he looked her in the eye, she would know he wasn’t being entirely honest. “I got these latest ones a few days ago playing with the guys near the Whomping Willow.” He rolled up one of his sleeves to reveal several healing wounds. “But they’re healing, so that’s good.”

“You shouldn’t go near the Willow,” (Y/N) frowned, scrutinizing the young man’s arm. “It’s dangerous, and next time the results could be much worse.” Remus laughed awkwardly at this and nodded.

“I think we’ve figured that out by now…”

“Can I ask you another question?”

“Go ahead.” (Y/N) seemed to think carefully about what she was going to say, and after a few moments, she dared to speak.

“You’re very different from your friends... Before we started this project, I judged you based on everything I’d seen and heard about you, especially from Sirius and James. Why would you want to spend your time with them? Besides the fame and attention that comes with it, what else could you gain from such a friendship?” Remus sighed upon hearing this and took a moment to process what the girl had just said.

“They can be many things, but they’re still my friends... And you’re right, I’m not like them and I don’t agree with everything they do, but they’re important to me. The guys have supported me in my darkest moments when no one else could. We’re inseparable, so if one gets into trouble, the rest do too. It may sound silly, but that’s how we are, and I wouldn’t change it for the world.” He shrugged and looked at (Y/N). “When you get to know them, you realize they’re much more than they seem, just like with me. You should give them a chance; you’d get along well with them.”

“I don’t know, Remus.” (Y/N) sighed, turning her gaze back to the parchments in her hands. “What they did to Severus Snape wasn’t right. And let’s be real, I’m not much different from him. What makes you think they wouldn’t do the same to me?”

“Because I wouldn’t let something like that happen. Besides, the situation is completely different. Not that I’m defending them—never would I do that—but there’s been a rivalry between them and Severus for years.”

“I’m not sure that makes me feel any better, to be honest...” She sighed. “Let’s just forget about it and finish this, it’s getting dark.”

Remus nodded in agreement to not press the issue further, and they spent the rest of the hour solely finishing the work. The next day, both students handed in the essay to Professor Slughorn, and as class ended, they began to gather their things in silence.

“It was nice working with you.” (Y/N) broke the silence after a few seconds. “You know I’m here if you ever need me.”

Remus looked at her upon hearing this and nodded, unsure of how to respond due to the nerves overtaking him.

“Yeah, same.” He managed to articulate, and the girl smiled awkwardly, finishing gathering her things.

“See you later, Remus.” She smiled one last time and left the classroom, leaving behind a blushing and embarrassed Remus.

“You’re such an idiot.” A voice came from beside him, and when he turned his head, he found James grinning at him mockingly. “Is that how you say goodbye, my dear Moony? I thought you were more polite.”

“Shut up, James.” The brown-haired boy rolled his eyes, leaving the classroom with his friends trailing behind him and laughing at his embarrassment.

“You should ask her out without using work as the perfect excuse,” Sirius commented this time, wrapping his arm around Remus’s shoulders once he caught up with him. “She seems like a nice girl.”

“She is, and that’s exactly why I’m not asking her out.”

“Oh, come on, Remus. What’s wrong with having a date with Bristol? You should relax and enjoy yourself a bit.” James interjected again.

“Do I really need to remind you why doing that is a bad idea?” He stopped abruptly, his muscles tensing at the thought of the disastrous possibilities if he lost control near her or anyone else. “It’s a risky move, and she’s too curious... She asked me about the marks on my body yesterday, and I had to lie because I had no other option.”

“Remus, mate...” James sighed, glancing at his friends before speaking. “We’ve got it under control, okay? No one needs to find out or get hurt. We’ll keep doing things the way we have been, and that’s that. Ask her out! You’ve got nothing to lose.”

“And if you don’t like it, just don’t do it again, simple as that. If you want, we can do a group outing to make you feel more comfortable,” Peter added this time, and Sirius nodded, smiling.

“No. That’s definitely not happening.” Remus shook his head repeatedly, clutching the books he was carrying even tighter. “Just... I’ll think about it, okay? I’m not promising anything.”

“Well, that’s better than a no.” Sirius laughed, ruffling the brown-haired boy’s hair, which he swatted away with a complaint. "Don’t make us do it for you, Moony.”

“Whatever. Let’s get going. We’ll be late for Transfiguration class.” He fixed his hair back into place, and his friends laughed, following him as they greeted everyone in the hallways and raced to see who would reach the next classroom first.

The following days passed without any new events. Remus still hadn’t mustered the courage to ask (Y/N) out, so he had settled for small talk with her during Potions class or greeting her in the hallways. His friends hadn’t stopped pressuring him about it, just as they were now, seeing the Ravenclaw girl enter the Great Hall. Remus’s cheeks were red, as always when the subject came up, and his heart raced at the thought of her possible rejection. Since hitting puberty at Hogwarts, he had been accustomed to attention from girls. Not many approached him, but some did. However, he had never even considered having more than a cordial conversation with them. The reasons were endless—starting with the fear of what his nature could provoke, then the little interest he had, and of course, his shy nature. With (Y/N) it was different; being near her was appealing. Conversations flowed naturally, silences were comfortable, and neither of them felt the need to put on an act to impress the other. Even though a part of his mind kept repeating how bad an idea it was to ask her out, there was another part that urged him to take the plunge. Taking a deep breath, he stood up from the table and, ignoring his friends’ comments, walked toward the end of the Ravenclaw table where the girl was seated, already preparing a plate of food. When he arrived, he cleared his throat and put his hands in his pockets to hide his nerves, while (Y/N) turned to look at him.

“Hi...” Remus smiled shyly, trying not to pay attention to the curious eyes watching him at the Ravenclaw table.

“Remus.” (Y/N) smiled back. “How are you? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, of course.” He hurried to say, feeling his face warm up again and his stomach flutter as if hundreds of butterflies were inside him. “Listen... I was thinking that our next trip to Hogsmeade is coming up, and I was wondering if you’d like to join me for a butterbeer and a chat...”

“Oh.” (Y/N) swallowed hard at the proposition, feeling instantly nervous. Was he inviting her on a date?

“You don’t have to say yes.” Remus rushed to add, noticing her reaction. “You probably have better plans, and I don’t...”

“I do want to go.” She interrupted him to prevent him from continuing. “Sorry for reacting that way. I usually go to Hogsmeade alone, so you caught me by surprise.” She smiled faintly without breaking eye contact, even though she could feel her nerves showing.

“Well, there’s a first time for everything, right?” Remus laughed, scratching his neck, and (Y/N) nodded. “How about we meet in front of the carriages at nine in the morning, and then we can take one together? I promise it’ll just be you and me. I know the guys can be overwhelming sometimes, and we don’t want that.”

“Yeah, that sounds perfect.” (Y/N)’s smile widened a bit more.

“Great, then I’ll let you eat. See you on Friday.”

“See you on Friday... And thank you for inviting me.”

“No problem...” Remus smiled again and waved before turning and heading back to the Gryffindor table with a sense of happiness and excitement he could hardly contain. He couldn’t believe it...

He was going on a date with (Y/N) Bristol!

[bxdtime-ceai]

moonlight jellies

22:00.

Standing on the dock, the light breeze of the summer's end ruffled my few loose hairs. I'd traded my straw hat and red t-shirt for my bucket hat and bomber jacket, the only nice pieces of clothing I owned. I want to believe I dressed up for myself or for the occasion, but it wasn't true. I wanted to look good for him, even as I refused to admit it.

The candles floated along the dock like the yellowed leaves that would soon make their appearance. It was a romantic setting. I almost blushed. I took the opportunity to greet everyone, hesitating a little when I reached their group. The three were always together and tonight they were joined by his younger brother, too. Of course I spoke to him last, I had to feel prepared. But I was beginning to realize that I would never really be prepared to talk to him.

"Do you think they're poisonous?" he mused. He didn't take notice of the outfit I'd curated for him that night, but I admired his curiosity. He held onto a childlike wonder, which was probably one of the many reasons he got along with Vincent so well. It was charming. I wouldn't want to test out that theory, I thought. There was never much I wanted to say in these interactions and I didn't want to trip over my words, so I rarely offered more than a hmm in return. Sam didn't seem bothered by this, which made me think we could make a good team. "Guess I shouldn't push Sebastian in the water, then," he laughed.

Soon it was time to light and release the boat. I quietly walked to the other end of the dock for a better view. I liked Sam, but I liked to experience these things alone, too. We all waited in anticipation as the Mayor released the lighted boat. For a moment nothing happened, and then, the first jellyfish floated close to me, so close that it almost touched my feet. I felt the light illuminating my face, and from across the dock I could see him facing me. Looking. Staring? I couldn't make eye contact, but it felt nice to be observed by him. When the other jellies surrounded the dock, I took a peek in his direction only to find him still eying me. Then, a green hue illuminated the spot a little to my left -- a rare green jellyfish. To say it was shocking was an understatement. The gentle contrast of colours had me mesmerised. I could see my reflection in it, and I looked awestruck. It seemed that no one else saw this rare jelly, which made me feel simultaneously special and sad.

The others began to set off for their homes after the last jellyfish had passed far beyond the dock. I stayed behind and stared at the ocean that had turned black with the lack of light. I looked at the reflection of the moon inside it, the contrast between its light and the darkness of the waves. There were few moments like this one in which I experienced peace. But the peace quickly faded when I felt a hand against my shoulder.

"Looks like the green one liked you!" he giggled, somewhat startling me. I chuckled in agreement. I was surprised that someone else had caught sight of that jellyfish, but it made me happy to know that he had.

"It's late. You going home, right?" I nodded at his question. I turned to leave in his direction only to find that he'd already run off to catch up with Abigail and Sebastian. Why did I think he planned to walk with me? But, was I wrong? Why else would he come and talk to me?

I guess we both behaved awkwardly at times.

[hibischush]

the request board matchmaker

description; When the farmer first arrived in Mistria, she was pleasantly surprised with the amount of warmth the townsfolk showered her in. Even Lady Adeline herself showed the newcomer such geniality, which shocked an adventurer coming from the capital. Most nobility would hardly blink an eye towards one of the masses, let alone treat her like she was a long-lost childhood friend that recently returned home. It was a nice change of pace. That was until she met the local blacksmith.

notes; the moment i played the demo for fields of mistria and met such a grumpy and toned tsudere i knew immediately that society would go wild for the guy. i just wanted to reimagine what the first meeting would be like between a female player and him (you could totally read this with any pronoun and it would still work fyi!)

word count; 1,048

After Lady Adeline gave her the quest of meeting everyone in town, the new farmer was determined to fulfill it. All morning she had been received affably, which she greatly appreciated. The capital was all too often unwelcoming towards anyone and anything. As she wound up at the blacksmiths, she expected much of the same.

Walking into the establishment, she was greeted with the sounds of heavy clanging. She shifted her glance over to two men hovering over an anvil-- shaping some sort of weapon. One of the men, who was much taller than the other, looked up immediately to see who came in and offered the farmer a wide, cheery smile. The other, seemingly annoyed with the disturbance in his work, only followed his gaze as he slowly dropped the hammer to his side.

“Hey! You must be the new farmer everyone’s been talking about. I’m Olric, and I work here with my brother,” the friendlier of the men explained, shaking her hand eagerly. His brother, seemingly very interested in the wall to the left of them, said nothing. The newcomer took her time in observing him. The smaller of the two was in no way less toned than the other, and his arms were wicked in sweat from working near the forge. His fiery red hair was partially pulled back from his face with a navy bandana, but his bangs were so long that they still easily covered most of his forehead, giving an almost “edgy teenager” kind of hair-do. His facial expression matched the previous description too, frowning bitterly at the wall with narrowed eyes. 

“It’s a pleasure,” the young farmer replied with a gentle smile of her own, “and who might you be?” she asked the red-headed brother. 

At first, he didn’t respond, and was unwilling to make eye contact with her. When eventually got his eyeballs to function again he locked his black gaze into her own. The young man had the audacity to slowly observe her from head to toe, almost as if he was sizing himself up to her. He defensively crossed his arms and pinned her down with a steely stare.

“The name’s March. What do you want?”

Immediately, the farmer faltered a bit. It seems like she was already getting used to being treated cordially here in the countryside. However, Olric didn’t flinch at this interaction, so she assumed that was just what he was like regardless of who he was talking to. Regardless, she tried not to let his cold attitude get her down, instead offering a hand with a smile, “I’m the new farmer in town. Thought I might introduce myself to everyone.”

He slowly and hesitantly shook her hand, and quickly crossed his arms again as if her touch burned him. At least he had some sort of manners, no matter how reluctant.

“I don’t see what that has to do with me, farmer,” He drawled out, spitting out her occupation like it was poison.

 “Regardless of what Adeline says, we really don’t need an outsider to come in and solve our problems for us. I--” he stopped himself, and she began to understand why he was acting so prickly to her, “--we have everything under control. Just don’t get in our way.”

And with that, March turned his back to the farmer and continued to work on shaping the weapon on the anvil. The farmer just stood there, dumbfounded. Olric even seemed surprised with that last admission from March as he scratched the back of his neck and chuckled awkwardly. 

“Sorry about that, March is a little upset about not being the center of attention in the town anymore,” Olric whispered to her, confirming her suspicions.

“No worries, Olric. I’m sure he’ll come around eventually. I could see myself working with the two of you to improve the town,” she said optimistically. Olric smiled at that and returned to the working side of his brother as she turned away to leave.

March grumbled to himself as he slammed the hammer down onto the molten iron. Who does she think she is, strolling into Mistria thinking that she deserves love and praise despite not yet doing anything for the town? I’m sure he’ll come around eventually? I could see myself working with the two of you to improve the town?! Oh please, as if he needs help from some dumb and pretty outsider. Her blind optimism almost makes him feel sick to his stomach, and her saccharine smile made his stomach churn in a weird and unwelcome way.

“March? March!” 

March looked up from the anvil and over to his brother with a confused but annoyed cock of his head. Orlic only huffed as he adjusted the slowly but surely forming sword on the anvil. 

“You were going to strike the metal with half of it hanging off the side! Gosh, that farmer’s really got you in a mood huh?” Orlic huffed.

March stiffened and reddened with frustration, “No way! She’s just some boring outsider. There’s no way she’s actually going to contribute to Mistria.”

Orlic crossed his arms with a scoff, “I know you dude. No one has ever made you this mad by simply existing,” March flushed further, upset that Orlic sniffed him out this fast. His brother studied his facial expressions and the young blacksmith prodigy fidgeted with his hammer. Olric broke out with a wide grin after a few moments.

“No way.”

“W-what?” March bristled.

Orlic shrugged, his mouth still graced by an insufferably large smile, “Oh, nothing, nothing,” he said, heading over to a shelf to grab his own hammer. For a second March let out a huff of relief that his teasing brother was letting his quips go, until--

“That farmer is pretty cute, dontcha think?”

March sputtered and vehemently denied it.

“Oh sure, sure. It’s not like I watched you oogle her or anything.” 

“Shut up! That didn’t happen. Let’s get back to work, we’ve already wasted enough time over pointless chit-chat.”

Orlic shrugged and quietly went back to work once he was satisfied with getting a rise out of his sibling. 

It didn’t take that long for March to discover that he enjoyed working with the farmer. And to come to terms that he found her cute, too.

[mjjune]

[all image descriptions are in alt text] [banner art by @jamieanovels !]

MJ's Reintroduction!

updated 09.26.23

i'm m or mj (or whatever you wish to call me tbh).

this blog is solely dedicated to my writing and inspiration. to see my friend's writing (and writing i like in general), see my side blog @mj-library !!

ask and tag games open!

i might occasionally post/reblog mature content, but it will be clearly marked. interact at your own discretion.

i write fantasy of all kinds, but always with a touch of queerness. i lean towards dark and mysterious with supernatural and magical elements.

my favs: found family, female friendship, fairytale/myth retellings, anything queer (especially sapphic & aroace), neurodivergent & mental health rep, disability rep, anything with angst, reluctant heroes, enemies to [insert anything here]

all of my wips have a taglist. if you wish to be added to one/multiple don't hesitate to message me <3

My Projects Below! [or see this tag!]

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DS // high fantasy

When their farm is raided by strange poisonous creatures from the sea, Sasha’s sibling is poisoned. She must journey into the deadliest monster-infested island in the world to find a cure. But the only person willing to help is a mysterious traveler—who she suspects is lying about who they are. She treks into the jungle and must uncover the truth of both the poison and the stranger, or else it might be not only her sister who suffers, but the entire island.

Status: Draft 1, 80k, alphas in-progress

Rep: gender stuffs

Full Page Here

WIP Intro Here

Blog Tags: #w: ds, #ds snippets

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TWTR // dark fantasy red riding hood retelling

After six years, The Wolf has returned seeking Red, and the Woodsman is tasked with finishing what he started. But as he tracks the beast, The Wolf leaves behind clues and messages that hint that the kingdom isn't what is seems; the history they all know is false... The Woodsman must uncover the lies and defeat the beast, or else lose the closest thing he's ever had to a friend.

Status: 73k, querying

Rep: aro/ace, trans/nb

Full Page Here

WIP Intro Here

Blog Tags: #w: twtr, #twtr snippets

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AVOF //dark urban fantasy duology

When a vampire sleeps with a werewolf to spite the ancient vampire order and homophobes everywhere, they accidentally reveal supernaturals to the human public. As media tensions, protests, and riots rise, the vampire must choose: risk everything to save his new lover, or hunt down the rarest creature in the world in hopes to prevent war.

Status: - Book 1 Complete, 97k words, shelved - Book 2 Draft 1, 109k words, editing

Rep: various unlabeled queer identities; asian, latine, black, jewish

Full Page Here

WIP Intro Here

Character Intros

Character Sheets

Blog Tags: #w: avof #avof snippets

[hopepaigeturner]

Villainous Benophie: Part 5

Inspired by @orangepeelshortbreadcookies; BRILLIANT Villainous Viscount AU (read on AO3 here). So all creds go to her!

And while she has done a beautiful fic about Benophie in this universe, Thieves of Dusk (100% RECOMMEND A READ. Read on AO3 here). But we’ve been chatting about my own ideas for Benophie. So, with her blessing here’s the next part of my version.

WARNING: References to assault.

Part 4 Here.

There is a slight ringing in Benedict’s ears the entire time Sophie speaks—it hadn’t stopped since seeing the terror in her eye upon moving away.

And as she tells the story, the full tapestry, all the little threads he has garnered over the weeks slip into place.

The scars around her body, a result of her stepmother’s little tortures.

The calculating gaze, a result of analysing every interaction, every route, every room, to ensure the safest route—the years of miscalculations too horrific to remember.

The way she flinched at loud noises or how she kept every loud emotion quiet. All markers of her haunted childhood.

Each detail makes the ringing in Benedict’s ear louder, as if an alarm bell for something swelling, rising deep within…

And then she tells him of Lord Hotham.

How two years ago Araminta had pulled Sophie away from cleaning shoes to announce her engagement to him. An engagement, she later found out, that was orchestrated to pay back the debts Araminta now owed.

And Sophie knows how to read people so as soon as she met this Lord she knew. He is not old but arrogant and so drunk on his own entitlement that he wields his power like a sword. A sword he has already wielded against her by taking whatever he wants from her under the pretence of being his fiancée and it is only Sophie’s dexterous conversation and even more dexterous hiding that she staved him off for so long.

Until the night they announced the engagement to the ton. A night where he took things a step too far, far too far from the way Sophie shakes. But it was the final straw that led her to flee with a meagre bag of belonging still in the dress sewn to symbolise that union.

When Benedict asks, his voice as restrained as an enemy in one of Benedict’s rope knots, what that exact act entailed. And it is the haunted look in the eyes of his fierce Sophie that causes the waves to crash.

The anger rolls over him, consumes him just as a cloud consumes the moon. He can almost hear the sound of bone crunching under force, and smell the tang of blood as it coats his fist. For this man he will get his hands as bloody as Colin does when in the ring.

The hair on his neck stand up, the ringing becomes a call to arms.

“Ben!”

His fist flexes as his mind whirls. At a push it would take him twenty minutes to get to Mayfair.

“Ben.”

He ignores the sliver of moonlight and instead thinks of that whimpering Lord begging for mercy. Far far worse than what he made Sophie…

“Ben, please!”

Moonlight cuts through the cloud and he breathes. Slowly he returns back to the room to find Sophie; s hands cupping his face.

“Please,” she whispers, and the brokenness of that command assuages him for a moment.

“I will kill him, I will beat him black and blue.”

“You cannot.”

“I can, and I will.”

“He is a Lord, Benedict,” Sophie tries to reason. “If you touch him he could have you locked up, sent away or or…” the tears start welling in her eyes again, “please I cannot lose you, do not make me lose you too.”

No one has been concerned for his welfare for a very long time, perhaps that is why he feels winded, thus enabling Sophie to speak.

“And I do not want you to hurt him. I do not want to think of him ever again, I do not want him poisoning the life I am building.”

Benedict grinds his teeth.

“He hurt you.” He speaks out as if each word is a punch. “I need to hurt him.”

“I need you here.” He looks back at her and the fierce look in her eye. “What is more important me or vengeance? Who is more important, me or him?”

Benedict knows that conclusion, even though it startles him.

“You.” He kisses Sophie hand. “I choose you.”

Sophie lets out a shaky breath and he notices her body relax. He holds her closer, makes sure she looks in his eye.

“If that man ever comes near you then I will kill him. Yet I will let this matter rest for you. I ask only one thing.”

“Which is?”

“Let me discuss this with Antony—not the details,” he adds at seing Sophie’s fear, “just that there is a man who might wish to harm you. My brother knows ways of handling these things…setting up precautions. Will you let me ask for his protection? The protection I promised you?”

Sophie wrestles with the thought but finally nods.

They get a cab back to the club because Sophie looks as delicate as cut glass. She does not say a word until Benedict delivers her to the door to his family’s chambers.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “Thank you for stopping, Ben.”

The nickname strikes something within him.

“I will always stop,” he says the words ringing deep through him. “I will always listen to you.”

“Hmm, careful Bridgerton, you do not know the power you give me,” she replies with the ghost of her usual smirk. Benedict kisses her hand.

“I have no fear because I know you will not abuse it.” For he sees the lack of guile in her eyes. And then he leaves, his mind roiling with the nights events only softened by the image of Sophie’s blushing face.

[tilion-writes]

Playing Favorites

For @feanorianweek - a lil fic set in my Scion of Mystery 'verse.

Summary: Curufin, Celegorm, and Celebrimbor visit Caranthir in Thargelion. With them is a young Artanáro—who will only later be known as Gil-galad.

Excerpt:

The first words Caranthir spoke to them, after veritable years of separation, were, “You’d better not be here to beg money off of me again.” They stood in the Great Hall of Caranthir’s fortress, the opulent wall hangings gleaming black and scarlet and gold, the doors flung open hastily to match their abrupt entrance. (Perhaps it would be more accurate to say Celegorm’s abrupt entrance: Curufin had stalked more slowly after his brother, like a drifting shadow, with Celebrimbor, Artanáro, and Huan trailing after him.) Caranthir stood at the head table, surveying the lot of them, his dark brows furrowed in his trademark scowl. “Hello to you, too, Moryo,” Celegorm drawled, rolling his eyes. “Good to see you again, too, Moryo. Why, we’re doing wonderfully, and yourself?”

“We are perfectly capable of independent financial decision-making, dear brother,” Curufin put in smoothly. “I should hope so.” Caranthir lifted his chin. “It’s been a tight winter. I don’t have the gold to spare to keep you two afloat.” “Oh, yes,” said Curufin, raising his brows and glancing pointedly around at the well-furnished hall. “Very tight, indeed.” “Perhaps the standards of Thargelion are higher than those of Himlad,” said Caranthir tersely.  “Perhaps the hospitality of Himlad is more welcoming than that of Thargelion,” Celegorm shot back. “How could it be?” said Caranthir. “You live there.” As they sniped at one another, Celebrimbor’s eyes bounced back and forth between his uncles. At his shoulder, he caught Artanáro doing much the same, with a slight air of fascination: the younger Elf had never met Caranthir before, nor seen the two sons of Fëanor with which he was familiar interact with their brothers. Were it not for the intense, prickling silence drawn taut in the air between them, Celebrimbor might have laughed.  Thirty seconds passed by. Celegorm’s glare, the bright poisonous green of a hemlock leaf, did not lessen in the slightest, and the Treelight slipping from behind his irises flared with a sharp-cutting light. Caranthir, meanwhile, had begun to flush slightly, a creeping pink that betrayed his irritation. Artanáro, shifting on his feet, shot Celebrimbor a wary, questioning glance. Celebrimbor merely put a finger to his lips and winked. Abruptly, Celegorm threw back his head and burst into laughter, the silence broken by the gleeful, barking, familiar ring of sound. He crossed to his brother in a few long, leaping strides and crashed into his arms. Several hundred pounds of muscle, armor, clinking weapons, and pure wild energy tackled the lord of Thargelion to the ground—or would have, had said lord not slipped out of range with practiced grace.  “Don’t touch me,” Caranthir snapped, glowering, and brushed a smudge of dirt off the rich, velvety-dark fabric of his finely embroidered robes. “Charming as ever, Carnistir,” said Celegorm brightly, reaching out to ruffle his hair.  Caranthir slapped his hand away. “And you, Tyelkormo, are as pleasant a guest as always,” he said, with remarkable sarcasm. Then he turned to Celebrimbor and Artanáro, the latter of whom stiffened slightly; but Caranthir only broke into a smile, the characteristic edge to his voice vanishing almost completely: “Tyelperinquar, it’s wonderful to see you,” he said. “Thank you for coming.”

(Full fic on ao3!)

[ourladyofomega]

Do you remember life as it was pre-internet and pre-smartphone? Is it something you are nostalgic for? What aspects of your life still are like the pre-internet days that you anticipate to stay that way (at least for 10 more years)?

Absolutely, because I experienced it. Specifically, the last few years before grasping PCs full-time in community college. Back then, my diaries weren't written with pen and paper. I hit ‘record’ on my tape deck and have it write it all for me. I listen to those cassettes (that I still have and have been all digitized) and they instantly return me to the alternative and hip-hop / rap's golden era; back when we had Biggie and 2Pac. The feelings were different. The style, the vibe, the type of people around me. There was this constant camaraderie because everyone was around you. I always had friends and plenty of moments within reach. Meeting people outside the neighborhood was way more interesting because they were the type mine didn't have.

Each song that I'm listing right now still gives me a very specific moment and feeling experienced by me, for me, and only me. Songs like Da Youngstas' "Hip-Hop Ride" and Stone Temple Pilot’s “Vasoline” when my family and I took the ferry to Mashantucket, listening to Crooklyn Dodgers' eponymous track on my Walkman when I walked home from school, or Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun" as a bargaining chip to win the favor of girls from another neighborhood. Notorious B.I.G. & Method Man “The What” and O.C.’s “Time’s Up” were the soundtrack to when I spent a week in Staten Island with my then-hood cousins. Sitting on my friend’s curb while listening to The Doors' "Light My Fire", or hearing Cutmasta D.C.’s “Brooklyn’s In The House” while I was crushing on someone I never met before. I can go on ad infinitum. The music meant so much to me that I started making seasonal mixtapes to revisit those moments anytime I want. Those feels still get to me to this day. I could also say the same for VHS. I literally have hundreds of tapes stored with me. It was a race to record every Philadelphia deathmatch and classic (Seventies and Eighties) game show because us fans feared they’d be lost forever. All of us has some Marion Stokes in us. Some more than others. I still kept hitting ‘record’ while I began record-shopping and found rare titles through backpage catalogs, bought compilations and magazines to discover new artists, and relied on word-of-mouth and mixtape trades amongst friends. This was what music-chasers had before MP3s amplified it all for everyone, including myself.

Even gaming. Going out of your way to the video store and literally borrow or buy and keep physical games - the solid state-era. Fighters were so much fun when you had everyone on the block at your house with no actual fist-fights and crucial shit broken. Or, having a literal crowd of people surrounding you during a one-on-one at Street Fighter found at every pizzeria, stationery, or laundromat. Human interaction was king back then. It was somewhat of a less toxic aura of life before smartphones, social media, or downloading took the mystique out of everything we experience now and poisoned us with repetition re-enforcement.

Now? We’re all used to it. It’s routine for everyone. The same ubiquitous being shoves all the world’s ills and hard pills to swallow down your throat while giving you an equal amount of solace, wisdom, and outreach in return. We traded in all the mystique of discovering things we once never knew of for the convenience of finding and getting what we want, when we want - with quick decisions to boot. We’ve taken it for granted. I still do everything I’ve done timelines ago, albeit differently now. I’ve always stayed in touch with the past while always moving forward and grasping the moments ahead.

Things changed when my uncle gifted my dad a Dell desktop and monitor. He loved free music. We were surprised that we could get anything we wanted instantly. We never looked back since. My music knowledge exponentially exploded through the roof thanks to the digital tide. Still does. I’ve always appreciated the classic synthpop, industrial, golden-era hip-hop / rap, alternative, hardcore, and electronic era while staying in touch with sampling, and discovering d.i.y., synthwave, noise, d-beat, indie, metalcore, long-lost African tapes, and deafening shoegaze over the last few years.

Discoveries of the last calendar decade are part of my current experiences. I can hear Crystal Castle’s “Pap Smear” in my head every time I drive to the radio station in cold Winter nights. The sounds of Suicide’s “Cheree” marked the time I re-connected with a former potential. L.I.E.S. Music For Shut-Ins, Dum Dum Girls’ “Bhang Bhang”, and Tantor’s “Niedernwöhren” stamped my time in Lindenhurst, Hauppage, and Ronkonkoma respectively. Bereket Mengistaab’s “Lebay”, Antwon’s “Helicopter”, and Gong Gong Gong’s “Siren” defined all the walks to the neighborhood veteran’s park. Black Marble’s “A Great Design” forever reminds me of that sunny June day in Greenpoint waiting in line to see Cold Cave. Both pandemic shut-ins and a day out with a mutual / potential would meet at Jade Imagine’s “Remote Control” and Eddie Russ’ “Zaius”. Yard Act’s “Dark Days” for the pinball arcade revival and the drive out to Williamsburg’s Rough Trade. And how can I forget Blonde Redhead’s “Melody Experiment” to mark a triple crown September weekend of family reunions in Staten Island, Cold Waves XI, and a drop-dead birthday gift from one of my all-time favorites?

I still spend hundreds, if not thousands, of dollars carefree on vinyl, cassettes, and discs while acquiring and salvaging everything digitally. No more magazines, replaced with tons of music sites and outlets. (Again, downloading and the endless-open of accessing sounds made it too easy.). You used to buy blind at the record store and be totally walloped at something you never imagined before. Now, you’ll find it everywhere online with no effort. Have all the free cards, spins, and rolls you want. I remember making my first online order ages ago, and smelled the production those fresh packages of vinyl records and discs in the mail. I’ll still purchase rare musicks online that I won’t find in stores.

Backseat rides with Walkmans were replaced with iPods and now iPhones on train lines to New York City; allowing me to carry flat, faceless MP3s rather than physical art, liner notes, thank-yous, and that sugary smell of plastic, booklets, and J-cards. It all still produces new memories and visions to this day. The mixtapes were replaced by CD-R’s for a few years before creating simple personal playlists I still make to this day.

Former childhood memories of opening / closing credits and themes, station i.d.’s, production credits, commercials, and chyrons are re-captured again with a quick rip. Most of the essential shows of my wasted youth becamse a few keywords away. Emulation leaves the door open to an era when it was simpler, more charming, and fun. Not today with the endless parade of stoic first-person shooters devoid of personality and micro-transactions nickel-and-dime you while providing misogyny / misandry, endless shit-talking, swatting, and fault-finding in everyone - all enjoyed by your lonesome online.

So many people assumed that vinyl records, cassettes, and video / pinball arcades fell into the wayside because of “better” technology. They surged back because we still appreciate and want the real thing. We’ve done a great job carrying everything over digitally and still kept it all.

Oh, I almost forgot. About people:

We’ve been facing technology as a double-edge sword bringing out the best and worst out of all of us, pushing out everything for the whole world to see. Remember what I mentioned earlier about one hand poisoning you while the other cures?  

It’s amplified world ills that always existed but made more apparent: rigged elections, the media selling war and dictatorships, disinformation, online gambling, political division, trauma and desensitization of violence and sex, losing privacy - all in an accelerated rate. We worried more about it now, now more than ever.

We never stressed over constant triggers, reminders, fear of missing out, or seeing your life in stasis as friends, families, rivals, and enemies move on (as a form of unintentional competition) like we do now. We shelve daylight and beautiful days for the hypnotism of constant mind-numbing updates, communication, and lethargy. Or, how young girls are constantly told they’re not good enough, learn about the double-standard, be gaslighted, or put themselves out there all-or-nothing to be noticed.

Dating was way easier back then because we didn’t have the bad ideas we have now. Dating sites created a power to pick and choose easily who our next potential or interest is; for winners to treat people like a commodity, dispose of, and ghost them. A comedy of errors for the losers starring broken-down self-esteem and self-confidence, paranoia, blatant intentions, loneliness, and game-playing more apparent. All the hands played are face up and for all to see. Draw, play, and discard at will.

It used to be that you wouldn’t know or believe what former classmates, co-workers, significants, or associates were up to through hearsay. Now it’s all within reach. Imagine being floored when you see your exes- have families, kids, or criminal records. Feel the sting when former #1’s smile with their new partners, or be totally surprised when others lives didn’t turn out as expected. Careers, money, marriage, relationships, adventures, accomplishments, births, deaths, suicides. Some have made you feel vindicated, at level with your peers, heartbroken, or missing out while everyone moves forward.

We throw rocks at people or hurt feelings from a distance, run, and get away with it. We pick and choose who lives and careers we can ruin in an instant, who to ridicule, or define someone with a ten-second meme for the rest of their lives. Or the many new ways people in general can be nasty towards each other. There’s so much bitterness, one-upsmanship, snarkiness, and manufactured drama because we allowed (social) media to run our minds for us. No middle-ground. Pick a side and vilify anyone who disagrees with you because we’re always right, even when we’re wrong. Demonize those who do the same things you do as well. It’s made us into miserable troublesome animals.

But…

Life for me has been so different since the divide that I’ve experienced quite a few events I normally wouldn’t. I started using this hellsite years ago to create an online journalism portfolio - which later on became a place for design, writing, and photography. It’s allowed me to document my time in radio (WUSB) and also show everyone how diverse, original, and open I am about myself and music. I love the gratification when someone reaches out to me about a favorite artist or record, and I love sharing some rare or obscure things only I know about that no one else does. It’s made what I do a unique experience.

I’ve met mutuals that I’d never even thought I’d ever meet (including two from my neighborhood!). There’s specific mutuals who untapped my potential, who I’d do wonderful things for that I wouldn’t for anyone else. These are the same people who I learned to trust and allowed me to be open with, minus the hair-trigger persecution, judgment, and ridicule from the rest. I keep my lines open for my closest ones trapped in destructive addiction, anxiety, bi-polarity, and isolation.

I’ve taken social and world events more seriously. It’s made me to give support who are worse off than me, to have compassion for people, to see opposite side of things, and recognize the real from fake. I have no patience for sensationalist tabloid garbage or the new reverse of ‘fake news’, and go right to what really matters to me: police brutality, the ongoing Palestine / Israel war, LGBTA rights, women’s rights, and other issues at hand.

I returned to my childhood I once abandoned since YouTube was very young. I constantly find everything jazz, sample, and crate-digging from that era to stay in touch with who I am.

Not even ten years ago, I couldn’t even fathom the concept of working at home. I left a decade of physical retail to do remote sales, and still stayed with the company to keep my health insurance, savings, and my time-off. I don’t deal with people’s attitudes, awkward interactions, or be forced into uneasy situations anymore. A literal live-saver.

Conversely, the post-internet era had introduced some hardcore pain in my life. I had one instance when a local mutual I wanted to meet tore my heart right out. Real bad. She’s why my journey into anxiety, depression, and mental health advocacy all started. No thanks to her. Another potential I met entered into my life thanks to social media (pre-Hellsite). She was someone who later on became an addict and I dated her for three months. She dumped me and burned her bridges when her boyfriend overdosed and died. I’ve also reached out to interests and potentials whom I made plans with; only for them to cancel at the very last minute. Their actions left me a “what-if” moment that’ll stay with me forever. It’s an all-or-nothing game we’re faced to play if we want to win. I look back and ended up accepting things I used to be dismissive of, and learned some things about myself I never expected to.

Yeah. Crazy to think that we experienced a change in our lifetimes - a Pandora’s Box - that we can never close. What used to be a novelty is now the norm, and what we used to take for granted is now a novelty in itself (the Othello effect). I know all these major constants will continue on, through whatever form or favor they become. Lord only knows what it will be. Place your bets now. **********

You’re more than free to ask me the same question again in 25 years. By then, you might ask me if I remember life as it was pre-dictatorship, what I’m nostalgic for, and what aspects of my life have stayed the same since. Count your lucky stars we don’t end up there.