#✦���insane prattle (in character)

[marshbarks]

The main 4 for the character bingo

did kenny already!! ♥

[hxllblazer-a]

"Just a reminder if y' feed a vampire, then they're gonna wanna come into yer place. If y' let 'em into your place, then they're gonna scratch the furniture. If they scratch the furniture, then they're gonna complain it ain't posh enough. And while they bitch about that they're gonna bitch about how y' don't have good enough blood so they'll just kill you and fuck off with their day."

This PSA has been brought to you in part by the leading asshole expert.

[hippie-self-shippie]

i hope my hubris in not writing disco kid like d.isco k.id or something doesn't lead to a normie punch out fan finding my posts about being megagay for him

[hxllblazer-a2]

"and they call me the freak but get a look at you!" -joker || @bloodiedcapes

“Yep, just the compliment I always wanted from the guy who got thrown up by the Ringling Bros...” 

Probably thank to the big one that had conked him over the back of the head. Or maybe it was the skinny one with the gun. Hard to tell, weaving words of control for goons that had the collective IQ of his left hand was complicated and didn’t leave much room for pondering when one was getting savagely beaten. 

He was hoping it at least stuck with the big guy. No way he was going to get out of this one with two catatonic idiots mumbling fear mantras of the horrors John was showing them. 

“Y’ know what they say: can always improve a look by lodging a bloke’s front teeth up ‘is nose.” The toothy, bloody grin was probably a poor emphasis but playing some ego would probably help. Maybe. “Makes y’ look like a rat.” 

[ouraniatm]

all these shocking revelations in chapter 5 of book 7 yet here i am, still contemplating on whatever the fuck would cora's dream land even be like.

on one hand, i thought of an idea that cora's dream would just be meeting her younger self and simply talking to her - kind of like a more literal version of 'letting your inner child finally heal', but i was like "eh, it's too cliché and i dunno if it'd work out".

on other hand, it could be similar to idia's dream, with ortho alive, her and idia's relationship never being strained to begin, all that stuff. hell, even her face doesn't bore the scars nor is she half blind...but, in her dream world, her family is loving towards her. hell, i've even thought of a scenario where she's casually talking with her father on the phone and he cheerfully ends the call with a "love you, sweetie" which freezes her on the spot, shocked by those words. it's odd, right? she's called her family up dozen of times without a hitch, so why the doubt? why feel fury and bitterness just from a benign sentence? this is supposed to be a normal thing...or is it?

right from the spot, cora is IMMEDIATELY suspicious and questions everything around her. i say all this because cora's already come to terms that her family will never care for her, love nor need her - they only saw her as the next in line as a shroud's shadow. she already accepted what happened in the past stays there and is choosing to finally move on, despite years of pent up anger burdening her. dare i say, she might be very quick to realize that something is wrong with this world...only problem is, she doesn't know what to do.

[hxllblazer-a]

12. for one muse to wake the other because they’re having a nightmare ( Elliot waking up John? 😮 ) || @vigilwo

In his head, he hadn’t expected contact with one of the white suited demons to actually make some kind of physical purchase. He hadn’t expected the muddling between consciousness and sleep to be startled so easily, eyes groggy and blinking up at his surroundings. It wasn’t the confinement cell. It wasn’t the familiar plastered walls. There were no doctors or guards… “Wh—”

‘There where you get yours, animal. And it’s going to be a pleasure.’

‘We can’t do what you did to her. We’re human.’

It doesn’t register just quite what’s happened yet, John already sitting up with his head in his hands. “What a miserable dream…” A count to ten, inhale, exhale… and then it hits him.

“Shit, didn’t mean t’ hit—are you alright?”

[hxllblazer-a]

❛ how are you still alive? ❜ || @huntrcsss

“Asked m’self that one far too many times.” And probably wouldn’t ever, taking a long drag from his cigarette in response. A grimace from the taste, and maybe a glare at it for good measure. Stupid costs not even letting him have one thing today…

“Think ‘m getting too old for this shit too.” Tempted to flick it away, though he held it out to Theo—out of politeness, of course. “Can tell you though? It don’t get easier.”

[hxllblazer-a]

you're not sleeping , you're not eating ... i'm concerned about you . || @undeadunalive

“Why?”

It… comes off a bit more annoyed than he intended it to be, but John was going to chock that one up to the aforementioned lack of sleep. “Yeah, well, it’s called a down episode or whatever they’re classifying it these days. Shit happens.”

Annoyed, and maybe a bit of an ego hit now that he stops to think about it, there’s a moment where he turns away. “… And maybe forgot t’ scrap some winnings for necessities this week. It’s fine. It happens.”

[hxllblazer-a]

❛ you’re an asshole, you know that? ❜ - Jake (not that he's complaining) || @normaltothemax

“Hey, if y’ wanted decent help you would’ve gotten someone else like… I dunno, Wanda still playing nice with everyone?” A snort around the flask which was immediately held out in offering—which only seemed fair. It was hard to find some half decent company these days anyways.

Or at least company that wasn’t about to throw him out in two seconds flat.

“’sides, you? You’re at least interesting.” Understatement of the century right there. “What’s your story anyways, moon boy?”

[hxllblazer-a]

@normaltothemax but @ max || sc!

“Y’ know, think you can get cheaper box removal from some joe bastard down the road.” He’s assuming that’s the current case, anyways, having not expecting to see her again. Hell, John was half sure she was still pretty livid about the whole situation, which honestly he wouldn’t blame her for one bit. “Be out with it, yeah? ‘m bloody knackered…”

And hungry enough to risk the street stall hotdog, apparently, but that was a different story.

[hxllblazer-a]

"Don't tell me you're surprised t' learn me deepest darkest secret, like." He probably would've feigned offense just for the sake of dramatics if he wouldn't look so ridiculous. "Aye, well--just ain't had a reason t' visit. Not in that way, like, mean comin' t' this town's a right pain in the arse normally and I'd rather be home anyways."

"I don;t need the money, Johnny. I stopped charging you because we're friends. Even if you are the biggest ass in this gods-forsaken city." She pushed his hand to his chest, palm flat and still smiling. "Would it kill you to visit sometime? Seeing your spot empty is a real heartache, you know."

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Please write something with this when u have time?

“What are you doing in my house?”

The villain, draped across the windowsill, regarded the hero with a coy look, as if the answer was obvious. “You left your window open.”

“That’s usually not an invitation,” the hero replied. They had moved one too many times because of uninvited visitors and the hero had just gotten used to this apartment. Often, they felt like they couldn’t win, no matter what. They felt like a failure, someone who couldn’t even secure their own home.

“I’m not searching for a fight.” The villain stepped into the living room, studying everything before their eyes found the hero. All together, they seemed quite peaceful. Observant. “I’m here on, well, you would call it a mission, I suppose.”

“Not interested, sorry.” The hero was getting sick of missions. Bridges falling down, subways derailing, buildings collapsing. Heroes die alone, they always do, and even though the hero wasn’t loving their job, death was a tad too far.

Still, every single mistake they made would be printed and posted. Every failure would come right back at them with an intensity that chewed on their spirit. They didn’t have time for therapy, so they felt themselves turn into a bitter human being.

In all honesty, did the hero deserve this? Probably…it’s easy to point and laugh at someone, even just for a second, so thinking about one’s own personal failures can become bearable. The hero had power, the hero had responsibility. Who deserved more to be blamed for failure than the most powerful being in the city?

“I’m just here because our sidekicks are friends, okay?” the villain said. They weren’t in costume and the hero didn’t see any weapons. As a civilian they looked quite nice. “They told me where you live. They’re worried about you. ”

The hero looked up from the pan they were cleaning. A failing villain was a win for the city and a failing hero was a catastrophe.

Hadn’t they done enough? Hadn’t they worked hard enough? Hadn’t they saved enough people? When was it their turn to be satisfied?

“My sidekick doesn’t know where I live. Safety protocol,” the hero said. The villain’s ears turned red and they cleared their throat.

Their eyes were glued to the floor. A rather futile attempt to hide their lie.

“Okay, well…it’s still true. They’re worried about you. You’re overworking yourself. They said you’re in danger.”

“And you wanted to come and save me?” the hero asked. Their chuckle was as insincere as it could get. “How cool is that? I’m getting saved by the villain.”

Silence. Only the siren of an ambulance far away cut through it.

“I’m not a saviour,” the villain said finally. They walked towards the hero who was more or less done with cleaning the dishes. “The morality of it is…confusing to me.”

“It’s quite simple, actually. All of it is a trolley problem and no matter what you do or how many people you save, people will prattle and hate and blame you,” the hero sneered, letting their sponge fall into the dirty dishwater. At the end of the day, not doing anything might be better.

“Maybe you need a vacation.”

“Vacation? You’re funny.” The hero laughed humourlessly yet again. They hadn’t been on vacation for what? Five years now? Having the luxury of a vacation was an insane thought.

Sometimes they thought this decadence of their character made them unendurable enough to turn themselves into a villain.

“It’s okay to find out that your dream sucks,” the villain said softly. They were hesitant as they put a hand on the hero’s shoulder. “It’s okay to find out that what you’ve always wanted isn’t what you expected and that it’s not the right thing for you.”

The hero didn’t find that so funny. They looked up at their enemy, the person they had sworn to fight and hate.

“It’s okay to be dissatisfied and tired. It’s okay to hate what you’re doing. It’s not okay to hold onto that, though.”

“I have a responsibility.”

“Yes,” the villain said. “The responsibility to take care of yourself. You’re falling apart and I am not a saviour. I can’t save you from yourself. I can only challenge you to do better. So, do better. Be better and start taking care of yourself instead of everyone else.”

The hero had the tiny suspicion that the villain wasn’t doing this for their sidekick’s sake.

@avvail thank you for the prompt hihi

[hxllblazer-a]

@dcmonshcad || sc!

"The legends, the stories, the power... but what could someone like yourself need from a bog standard conman like ol' Johnny now."

[hxllblazer-a]

@eyeless-smiles || cont.

“Y’ thick as pig shit?”

Same thing, different day, someone else wanting something out of ol’ Johnny. Though even he’d have to admit to himself that the rarity of something actually surviving such an intricate looking bind was… interesting, to say the least. And amateurish. Poor unlucky bastard.

A brow arched, momentarily taking in the situation. Looked like thorns, almost, and for a moment he couldn’t help but wonder if the creature went and pissed off the local wood nymph society. Probably not, or he wouldn’t be lucky enough to make it all this way. “Fucking pathetic sight, aren’t you? You’re one of ‘em wossits an’ y’ go and right bum that up t’ where you gotta rely on one of us silly little humans.”

Laughable, really.

“And way I see it? I get nothing outta it ‘cept maybe a knife when I’m not looking. And I’m clearly the one holding all the cards here… so try again.” It’s a dangerous game he’s playing with what was essentially a caged wolf, but this was his home. His domain. And arguably one of the most dangerous places in all of the world for anything not human. “What makes y’ really think I’m gonna help you?”

[hxllblazer-a]

"Ol' Batsy's a stuffy posh biddy, 'e wouldn't know what it were like t' grow up ruined by the stuffy posh fucks with power anyways." There's a pause, as if John's actually considering a thought or three. "Property damage goes a pretty long way for a statement, too. Or an art piece. Depends on your thoughts 'bout a massive flaming dick burning across city hall."

Eddie clasped his hands, & his lips stretched into a smile; delighted somebody agreed. ❝ & I think I like you. Many people disagree with me - people like Batman. ❞

[hxllblazer-a]

@fatummortem || cont.

“No—wait actually…” A quick toss of the paper—surprisingly to the show of his purple underwear underneath, in order to go perusing through the cupboards. Cups, plates, a container of something or other simply marked as ‘Do not open’, an indiscriminate Tupperware of a white powder that hopefully was not the obvious… “We got coffee.”

Well, it was the instant kind, but it’d have to do.

“Could scare up some toast if you’re that stuck on breakfast. Bein’ honest, like, you’re safer t’ just catch some scran from th’ diner down the block.” An idle hum as he filled up the plug in kettle for a quick boil and fished out some mugs.

“Also got beans.” A beat. “Toast and beans ‘re probably not it for you, huh?"