#✗ SAMUEL. ╱ think how dull your life would be without me.
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chingonaclawsarchive · 4 years ago
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     Such is life -- Latino caribo, mondo bongo. The flower looks good in your hair. Latino caribo, mondo bongo.  Nobody said it was fair, no. ( Mr. & Mrs. King... ? @theimpalpable xo. )
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wincestismyguiltypleasure · 4 years ago
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Warnings: Weecest, a little angsty, jealous!Sam, bratty, emotional, and confused baby brother content, feminization, name calling, humiliation, sadist!Dean, spankings, and of course, that sweet, sweet fucked up codependency. 💋
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Sam just wanted Dean's attention. He always had.
And when he didn't get it, Sam felt not only emotionally, but physically injured by his brother's "neglect." Like Dean had taken his switchblade to Sam's heart, cutting it open just a little bit to play with it. As if he was curious to what was inside. Like Dean had no clue know that every vein, artery, and nerve worked in unison for him.
And over the years, that small wound had ripped open wider and wider on it's own, even though it was no secret that Dean's life had always revolved around Sam.
Perhaps it was a product of Sam's jealousy? His resentment towards John and the unshakable devotion Dean showed him?
Sam didn't really know. But no matter the cause, what was once a dull ache in Sam's chest was now a blinding pain. The only hope of soothing it resting solely on his big brother's touch.
And the worst part about it? Dean knew. He knew Sam was desperate for something so simple as a sideways glance or a pat on the back. Sam would poke and prod and tug at the hem of Dean's shirt for just the slightest bit of recognition, like he really didn't know that he was already the very center of his big brother's entire world.
It was infuriating sometimes, and it made Dean want to be cruel just to prove a point. Besides, at the end of the day, Dean was still Sam's big brother. Ignoring him was part of Dean's job description. And maybe, just maybe, Dean got a sick sense of satisfaction out of making Sammy beg like a slut for something that was already his.
"Dean, c'mon! Pay attention!"
John had only been gone for ten minutes before Sam was shaking Dean's leg violently, trying to make his brother look up from the magazine he was reading.
"Jesus Christ, Sam. Can't you leave me alone for five fucking seconds?"
Dean doesn't have to see Sam's face to know the younger boy is pouting; the corner of his lips turning up in a twisted smirk at the thought of his little brother's pretty eyes starting to water.
There's no answer to Dean's question, just a loud huff and the sound of the bathroom door slamming, rusty screws barely keeping it on the hinges.
And if Dean didn't get such a kick out of being an asshole to his needy little brother he might have felt bad for hurting Sam's feelings. But he doesn't, mainly because this was all part of the sick, fucked up game they'd been playing since Sam had turned sixteen. This volatile give and take, back and forth, born out of Sam's misguided pain. The younger boy thinking that Dean loved John more than him and Dean's cutthroat determination to prove his little brother wrong. To show Sam that even if he isn't looking, he's still paying attention. And that he couldn't stop paying attention to Sam even if he tried.
Honestly, Dean still gets a little hot under the collar thinking about the first Sammy pushed his buttons like this. He'd been both mortified and so disgustingly turned on when he found out that his sweet baby brother knew just how to act bratty and coy to get fucked through the mattress. God, Dean was so pissed and guilty about it at the time that he'd almost thrown up afterwards.
Even now, Dean feels kinda queasy. But the feeling is so simple to ignore this go around because he's also rock hard and shaking a little from the anticipation.
Oh, and of course, Sam makes him wait. Almost two fucking hours. Tiny beads of water still dripping from the younger boy's long, dirty blonde hair when Sam finally emerges from the bathroom wearing nothing but a pair of lacy blue panties and a triumphant smile.
"Seriously, Samuel?" Dean asks, trying his best to keep his voice steady as he tosses his magazine to the side and sits up.
But Sam, being the shameless little tease that he is, just grins wider and does a slow turn. Making sure to show off every sharp curve and flawless inch of sun kissed skin he had before looking over at Dean and giggling.
"Think you can ignore me now, big brother?"
Sam barely gets the words out before Dean is off the bed, marching over to him with purpose, not stopping until the two of them are only a few inches apart and his baby brother's eyes are wide with fear.
"What do you want, Sam?" The older boy asks through gritted teeth, even though the answer is so painfully obvious.
And even though it is, Sam can't say it. He's never been able to because it's Dean's job to know. Without Dean guiding the way, Sam's just a confused kid with a need so intense and overwhelming that it could swallow him whole. And it would, if it wasn't for Dean.
Dean knows what Sam wants, and Sam hates the fact that he doesn't hate his brother for making him feel this way.
But still, he can't talk and he can't explain, so instead Sam just whines. Taking a timid step forward into his brother's personal space, searching for pity with those big innocent doe eyes. And fuck, does that do the trick. Every. Single. Time.
"What, baby?" Dean asks again, this time softer, his expression lightening as he grabs Sam by the wrist to pull him closer.
"Dean."
Sam's knees feel wobbly. His heart threatening to pound out of his chest because there's nothing in the world more intoxicating and simultaneously terrifying than looking into Dean's gorgeous green eyes when they're full of rage and passion.
"You want this?" Dean's voice is rough, like cigarette smoke blown over shattered glass as he guides Sam's trembling hand between his thighs. Pressing his little brother's warm palm hard against his erection before he makes Sam squeeze just a little, the both of them letting out a breathy groan.
"Please Dean," Sam whimpers, knees nearly buckling when Dean leans forward with a filthy grin, cherry red lips ghosting lightly over Sam's. The older boy teasing him like he always did. Pretending like wasn't eventually going to give Sam everything he wanted and more.
"Say it."
Sam's stomach clenches at the command, throat going dry because he hates this part. (Or at least Sam pretends that he does.)
"I want..." Sam groans, eyes closed tight as Dean nuzzles against him, making Sam go crazy with need. "I want your cock. Please Dean."
When Sam hears Dean chuckle, a low, filthy sound that makes his insides feel unbearably hot, Sam almost starts crying again. He's so naive and inexperienced compared to Dean. And Dean knows Sam feels like an idiot when his big brother makes him talk dirty. Which is exactly why he does it. The bastard.
"I know you do, baby boy," Dean laughs as he takes a step back, and Sam swears he feels his heart detach and drop into his stomach. Long, bony fingers instinctively trying to curl around Dean's shirt but to no avail.
"Dean-"
Sam's temper tantrum is cut short when Dean sits down on the foot of the bed and raises a hand, the look on his face calm but dangerous and it makes Sam almost swallow his own tongue.
"C'mere and lay across my lap."
"Why should I?"
Sam's voice doesn't sound like his own when he challenges his brother. It's weak and breathless and honestly, Sam can't believe an apex predator like Dean didn't go for his throat right then and there.
"You've been buckin' for my attention all day, sweetheart. You got a better way to get it?"
God, Sam wishes he did because the last thing he wants is to give in so easily. But what Sam's been dying for is right here in front of him now. Ripped jeans wrapped tight around thick thighs that he'd sell his soul to be bent over and Sam isn't about to turn down an open invitation.
"Gotta hand it to you, little brother," Dean says when Sam's finally stretched out across his lap. Sam's pretty face, flushed and tear stained, hidden in the mattress as Dean starts to soflty rub circles against his ass. "Despite all that fuss, you really are an obdient little bitch."
"Fuc-"
Sam nearly gags on his insult when he feels Dean's palm, rough and warm, connect with his right ass cheek. The blow hard enough to make his whole body jerk, tears of frustration rather than pain starting to blur his vision as he squirms in Dean's lap.
"Dean, please," Sam begs, his tight panties completely soaked through as he rubs himself desperately against Dean's thigh. His cock so hard and swollen that he feels a little dizzy, pleasure and pain fighting for dominance in his mind. Every one of his nerve endings on fire as Dean continues his ruthless assault. Each gentle touch followed by a thunderous smack that Sam swears makes his teeth rattle.
"Hey, don't cry, baby boy," Dean whispers when one of his rough blows finally rips a sob from Sam's throat. "This is what you wanted right? My undivided attention?"
Sam chokes back the urge to tell Dean that he hates him. One, because he doesn't. They both know that. And two, because if Sam doesn't swallow his pride soon and play by Dean's rules, he knows he'll never get want he really wants. That's what all this is about after all. Sam's insatiable need and Dean's absolute willingness to provide.
"C'mon, Sammy. You're a smart kid, you know what your answer should be."
Sam's only response is a loud, wanton groan, his knuckles turning chalk white around the blanket beneath him when he feels the tip of Dean's finger, rough and slick with spit, tease his rim. Pressing just hard enough to make Sam's hips jerk, but not applying quite enough pressure to slip inside him.
"Yes," Sam croaks, daring to push back against his brother's finger only to be rewarded with a smack to his right ass cheek that makes him see stars. "This is what I wanted."
"I know it is, slut."
Dean's finger feels wetter this time, hotter. And Sam's not expecting his brother to push in so deep, his eyes rolling back in pleasure when Dean barely grazes his prostate, clearly torturing Sam for all the shit he'd put him through that day. An eye for an eye was most definitely the Winchester way.
"You want me to finger fuck this tight little pussy until you make a mess all over your cute panties, don't ya baby boy?"
"Yes! Fuck Dean please." Sam isn't even trying to hold back his sobs now, big salty tears rolling down his cheeks as he wiggles around in Dean's lap. Desperate for his big brother to fuck him deeper. But before he can get the leverage he needs, Sam's empty again, mouth hanging open as Dean's next blow makes his whole body rock forward involuntary, neglected cock throbbing painfully against the worn denim of his brother's jeans.
"I'll give you want you want, Sammy," Dean coos, caressing Sam's battered skin with his palm. "I always do. But first, I'm gonna teach you a lesson about acting like a brat."
Of course, Sam's been taught this lesson before and it hasn't seemed to stick. But it doesn't matter, because they both know as long as Sam craves his big brother's attention, Dean will gladly put him in his place give it to him.
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theonewiththefanfics · 5 years ago
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You’re My Choice (one-shot)
Synopsys: Soulmate!AU
The only thing that kept Bucky Barnes going through every horrible thing imaginable was the thought of meeting his soulmate. But it wasn’t how he thought it would go. And when Hydra get their hands on him once more, there might not be a second chance.
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x f!Reader
Genre: angst, fluffy-ish ending
Warnings: blood, gore, talks of torture, swearing
Word count: 5650
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His whole life Bucky Barnes was excited to meet his soulmate – the person whose name he carried with him everywhere he went, their name inscribed on his skin in golden letters right under his heart. He wore it like a proud man would, and never failed to lay a hand over it when he went to sleep.
Even during his HYDRA times, although the word had lost its meaning for they took everything from him, he knew that it must've been special. Whoever this Y/N Y/L/N had been must have meant a lot to him. Luckily for Bucky, HYDRA never went after her. Their asset didn't even know what the words truly meant, so it was one less mess for them to deal with.
They had tried to erase it off his skin, of course. Fire, knives, literally carving out a chunk of his skin, yet the name always grew over the marred tissue. HYDRA gave up after one time where they had dug until they reached the assets ribs to remove the name, but stubbornly it never went away. So, they just decided to wipe him more.
That all came crashing down when Bucky got free. After years of control, he got away and was now on the path to recovery in Wakanda. He didn't try and look for her while he was in hiding. Nobody deserved a life like that. And when he was finally ready to search the history archives of the countless people with the names 'Y/N Y/L/N', Thanos had decided to fuck over the whole universe. 
But that was done now. Bucky had gone through hell and back, and for the first time ever, he was ready to fully commit himself to love. Steve couldn't have been happier when Bucky asked him about his soulmate, though the truth wasn't always the easiest to stomach. His heart hurt when he looked at Bucky's hopeful eyes.
The blond shook his head. "You never found her, and there are no records Nat could find that says she was killed. 'M sorry, bud."
"Missed my chance, huh," Bucky gave Steve a tight-lipped smile as a doctor helped Shuri attach a new prototype of his metal arm to his body. "D'ya think she had a good life?"
Steve shrugged giving him a small sway of his head. "Honestly, who knows, Buck. We can only hope that she did. War wasn't kind to anyone."
"Or she couldn't have had a life at all," Shuri stepped in unwrapping Bucky's arm. "Because she wasn't even alive then."
Steve's eyebrows furrowed. "What are you on about?"
"I mean, that may be the reason you didn't meet her in the '40s, mister Barnes," she now addressed the man directly. "It’s because she hadn't been born. Soulmates are supposed to be there for you when you are ready to be with them." 
Bucky's eyes widened in disbelief. "You mean she could be alive? Like now?"
The thought that the reason Bucky hadn't found his perfect other half was because she hadn't even been born yet, was something that had never crossed his mind before. And it was true. He understood that you'd only be able to meet them once you were at peace with yourself. As a kid and as a teenager, he had thought that he was the most himself than ever.  But maybe he actually hadn't been. And during the war even less so. Had he been cocksure and absolutely had the ladies swooning at his feet – yes. But he hadn’t truly known who he was.
Now, however, he had the chance to start a new life. To be a new person and leave all of the terror and pain behind. Bucky Barnes was finally ready to live for himself. 
A small yet hopeful smile came over his face. He was truly ready to find his soulmate. 
Shuri had been right, as she was most of the time (except for that one time she had convinced T'Challa that taking Nakia out on a date in the jungle would be romantic, when instead they'd gotten ambushed by poachers with Chitauri tech and had to spend three hours trying to negotiate cause neither were prepared for anything other than a lovely day out, but other than that, she was always right). 
***
In fact, Bucky's soulmate was very much so alive. Right as he was being led through the compound which would become his new home, Y/N Y/L/N was feeling all the intense feelings a living person did. For one – it was anger.
"I will slit your throat at night, Samuel," she pointed at the man. "Mark my words, I'll do it."
"Oh, stop overreacting!"
"You completely undermined me! In front of everyone!"
Sam shrugged. "It's not my fault you're so shit at it."
"No! You were just being an absolute dick!"
"All's fair in love and monopoly, sweetheart," he smirked and took a swig from his water bottle.
Y/N pointed at him. "You are just asking for it. You better keep a good watch of your six, because just maybe during the next mission, a stray bullet might be coming your way."
"Y/N Y/L/N, you are the worst loser of all time!" Sam cackled as she flipped him off, stomping into the kitchen to find herself some food.
It was that moment when Bucky with Steve in tow had decided to enter the Avenger's living room. And it was that moment that made the brunet soldier stop dead in his tracks.
It was her. Finally, after years, decades, almost a century of searching, he had found her. Not only was it her name that settled it, but it was also the feeling that rooted itself deep within his chest, an invisible connection that was now made between the two people.
"Y-You're Y/N Y/L/N," he breathed out as a dopey smile stretched over his face. He watched her features as they turned into a frown before she snorted.
"I am…? So what? Who're you?"
This was it. The moment he had waited for his entire life. With one last shuddering breath he composed himself. "I'm James Buchanan Barnes." Her eyes widened at his words. "I'm your soulmate."
But what happened next was not what he had expected. Instead of her mouth widening in a smile and her Y/E/C eyes shining with happiness, her whole body went rigid and she took a step back, shaking her head.
"No. No, you're not. I don't have a soulmate. You have me confused for someone else."
"No," Bucky was adamant, "I don't. It's your name…" he paused for a second. "I've been looking for you for such a long time."
"Then keep fucking looking, because I'm not it!"
The words were laced with as much venom as Y/N could muster up, leaving Bucky stunned, hurt and very much so confused. But he had waited so long for her, he had gone through so much and the only thought, even when he didn't explicitly know it, had been of his soulmate that had kept him going. So, he was not about to give up.
Leaving a frozen Steve behind, Bucky ran after Y/N as fast as he could. He hadn't expected instant love and for her to throw herself into his arms with a desperate kiss upon his lips but it truly hadn’t been that. 
His arm wrapped around her wrist making her spin around. Y/E/C eyes blazed, but he met her with a small smile hoping to diffuse some of the tension. 
"I -," Bucky gulped. "I know I'm not the ideal person to be stuck with as your soulmate, but could I at least have an expla-"
"Because they're not real," she hissed, ripping her hand away from him. "Soulmates don't exist. Period."
Bucky's palm instantly settled on his chest. "But the name…"
"The name," she seethed, "doesn't mean anything. I. Don't. Have. A. Soulmate." 
As quick as a viper Y/N turned around, opened the door to her room and slammed it shut in Bucky's face.
The pain he felt was indescribable. It left Bucky without breath, and his heart twisted by barbed wire. She hadn't outright rejected him, but she had completely rejected soulmates as a whole, and somehow it hurt more. 
He could understand if Y/N had no wish to be with him, but he had at least hoped whoever carried his name on their chest would like to get to know him. He wasn't completely recovered, but he was at a point where Bucky felt good enough to make new connections and forge relationships.
The way Y/N had beaten and then ripped apart the notion of soulmates was worse to Bucky. It told him he did have one, and yet he was all alone. 
***
To make it worse, Y/N did a marvelous job at avoiding him. At every twist and turn wherever Bucky was, she would disappear. She had become the compounds personal ghost, as most times she floated around for a second to grab a bite or a coffee before fluttering back to her room. But that couldn't last too long.
Unfortunately for Y/N, she was still an Avenger, and Bucky had become an Avenger too, which meant they were now teammates and would have to work together. 
Civil didn't even compare to how she treated him. It was ice. Anyone who entered the room with the two, felt as if they had been cut by a blade as sharp as a razor, so the eight-hour flight to the middle of some woods on the outskirts of Poland was not pleasant at all for anyone. Even Natasha was relieved to exit the jet and run into an old KGB den which had been transformed into a HYDRA hideout rather than spend another minute with Y/N trying to glare a hole in the jet’s side, while Bucky looked at her with a heart-broken gaze.
The fighting started off almost immediately, but Bucky wasn't focusing on any of that. Maybe that's why everything got so fucked up so quickly. It was like ever since meeting Y/N, his senses attuned to her and just her, and the fact that she completely ignored him threw him off balance.
He'd made (somewhat) of a peace with the thought that she didn't want to be with him, but that didn't mean anytime he did have the chance to look at her for even a moment, he didn’t take it.
That's what had happened in that second. As his guns flashed and he delivered jaw-dislocating punches, his blue orbs caught the glimpse of Y/N getting hit in the side. 
Her body thumped to the ground on her knees with a dull thud, and she released a disgruntled sound. It took him less than a second to turn his rifle to the agents behind her and allow bullets to ricochet in their brains, but that second cost him his concentration.
A blow to Y/N's face with the back of a gun sent her sprawling onto the blood-soaked dirt, but she just used the position to kick the HYDRA goon's knee and hopefully break it in half as the soles of her shoes were lined with vibranium. Another one to the face, and a sickening crunch made her smile, but it dropped as easily as it had morphed onto her lips.
There, not even twenty feet away, Bucky's unconscious body was being dragged away by two HYDRA men, but Y/N didn't have a moment to process what was going on before she was blasted away by a stray ball of energy Wanda had thrown and plunged into darkness.
***
He awoke chained to a wall, half-naked with a pounding head and soreness in his shoulders. Bucky had no clue how much time had passed since the mission; all he knew was that HYDRA, once again, had him. But his time with the psycho organization was much more different than before. 
They didn't put his head through a blender as he thought they would. Oh no. They no longer had any use for him. Bucky had failed HYDRA. He had broken free and regained his own thought and will. They wanted to punish him in the cruelest way possible.
After the rejection, Bucky believed he would want Y/N's name off of his body, but as the agent dug the knife deeper into his skin, Bucky willed every bone in his body not to move and hoped every day that Y/N's name would reappear on his skin. She was his last tether to the outside world. He didn't care she hadn't accepted him as her soulmate. All he cared about was having her with him because her name had gotten him through the worst. And she might not love him, but he sure as hell did love her.
Maybe that's why had Y/N rejected him. Bucky knew that he was not an appealing character. Or so he thought of himself. His past was less than pretty, and his brain was mush, not to mention how emotionally unavailable he was, but with a soulmate, he had thought they'd love him no matter what. That was what had been helping him go on – the thought of unconditional love and acceptance. But he had had to have known that's not how the world worked. That he didn't deserve his soulmate. Though that didn't stop his heart from beating for her. 
Bucky didn't know how many days or months or years he spent as a captive. All that existed was pain, the damp walls of his cell and his own ragged breathing echoing around him. His eyes were closed as he leaned against the stone, and his shoulders ached as his hands remained chained above his head. They had fed him and given him water, but just the bare minimum. They had no intentions to use him to do their dirty bidding anymore, this was just so he had enough substance so they could have their fun.
The door to his cell creaked open, but Bucky didn't even lift his head from where it had dropped to his chest or open his eyes. He no longer cared about what they did to him. For a second, his eyelashes fluttered, and he saw a silhouette come in view. It was a familiar silhouette; one he saw in his dreams. It was Y/N's form, and he could only imagine her Y/E/C eyes widening at the scene in front of her.
There was blood. There was so much blood Y/N thought she would vomit. Bucky was practically covered in it. He was slumped, torso shivering with a bare chest and only his combat pants had been left on. 
But it was a hallucination. Y/N didn't love him, so why the hell would she be here? A calloused palm, roughened by years of fighting, but so unbelievably gentle touched his cheek.
"Bucky?" she lifted his head. "Bucky, can you hear me?"
His eyes fully opened to see her face. He wasn't dreaming. "Y – Y/N?" 
Her head whipped back towards the open door, focusing in on the sounds of gunfire that finally invaded Bucky's consciousness. There was fighting going on. The Avengers had come to save him. 
"Lower level," Y/N said addressing someone Bucky couldn't see, no doubt one of their teammates through the comms. "He's pretty banged up, but lucid. We're gonna take the East exit."
Bucky didn't try to listen in on whoever responded even though he easily could've. All Bucky did was look at Y/N and take in each of her features. She looked a bit gaunter and more exhausted, like she had only eaten, breathed and drunken stress for only who knows how long. When Y/N met his gaze, his eyes were filled with confusion and what looked like hurt at the messed-up state Y/N was in. "You came for me."
"Of course, I did," she whispered, eyes watering. "We all did." 
Bucky's brow furrowed. "You're crying."
"Tears of happiness," Y/N shook her head and gave him a small smile. "I'm gonna get you out of these cuffs, okay?" She didn't make a single move until Bucky gave an affirmative nod. 
It took her a bit of time to shimmy the lock and pry open the shackles. She was as tender as possible, as she took hold of Bucky's wrists and helped him lower his hands by his sides, careful of the stiff position he'd been in for so long. 
The second she gently rolled his shoulders and felt the skin warm up indicating the serum was re-stitching the muscle back together, she threw her body into his and, by God, did Bucky think it was the best feeling ever. Nothing that had happened before mattered to him. Sure, it still stung and would sting for a while, but having Y/N in his embrace soothed the gash instantly, making it become a dull ache. When he felt her pull back and her gentle palms cup his face, he didn't feel the pain at all.
"How long was I here?"
"Close to a month," she sniffled, pulling away while massaging his shoulders, letting the blood circulate in the joints once more. Well, at least the one that still had any blood vessels running through it.
"Can you stand up?" she asked placing one of his arms over her shoulders to take some of his weight on her. 
Bucky grunted and used the wall as leverage to pull himself up, but after that Y/N allowed him to hang onto her.
"Sam and Nat have cleared out as many agents as possible, but we still might have to fight. Stay behind me and close to the walls, please."
Bucky nodded, but still asked for one of her guns. "Gotta have your six covered."
Reluctantly, Y/N handed him one of her weapons. "Stay out of the fire as much as you can. Please."
And then they were off. With Bucky still heavily leaning on Y/N, they made their way through winding hallways that stunk of mould and damp and iron. She didn't even want to think how much of the blood that covered certain rooms was Bucky's, but she just concentrated on getting out. 
They had gotten two floors up already with minor hitches, all of which she could handle, and Bucky didn't have to exert himself when they reached the East side of the building.
"Steve, we're coming up on Level 3, we need the door opened," she informed Bucky's friend, and this time he focused in on the answer.
"Wanda has the exit secured," Steve grunted through a punch, "but Tony says they're bringing in reinforcements, so you gotta move fast. Four minutes tops."
"Okay," Y/N sighed and looked at Bucky. "You ready to do this?"
Bucky was going to respond, 'with you by my side I'm ready for anything', but thought better of it. This was not the time. That would come once they were out and back in New York. Right now, they needed to escape first. So, he nodded and took his body off of Y/N's to lean against the wall.
"Unlocking the door in five seconds," Tony counted down, and both Y/N and Bucky readied themselves for the hell that they were about to walk in. They let out deep breaths and raised their guns.
Even though Wanda was there to provide a shield for both of them, Y/N was absolutely floored at the amount of HYDRA agents that had swarmed them. Yes, of course, she knew the place would be extensively guarded especially because they had had Bucky, but it still surprised her.
The battle to get inside had been bad enough, but in the twenty-five minutes it had taken her to locate him and get them out, the number of agents had quadrupled, and it seemed like more were on their way.
In a swift move, Wanda disposed of an oncoming hoard of enemies and rushed over to Bucky to provide him protection.
"Get him to the jet!" Y/N yelled despite her having a comm. Over the commotion, she could barely hear Steve screaming commands. 
Somewhere up above Sam cursed, and a piece of debris impaled itself besides Y/N and Bucky.
"Watch where you're throwing shit!" she shouted up at him. "You almost decapitated us!"
Gunfire from behind them made Y/N and Bucky cover their heads as Wanda threw red balls of energy on the advancing enemy. In the blink of an eye, Y/N had pressed two guns into the ex-soldier's hands.
"Buck, go!"
"I'm not leaving you!"
Y/N's eyes flickered over to where the Scarlet Witch stood. She hated herself for even thinking of it, but she had predicted the possibility of Bucky refusing to leave without her.
"Wanda! Do it!"
And then suddenly Bucky was moving. He didn't want to, and he wasn't doing it on his own volition, but Bucky was running. Wanda had made him. Tears streamed down his face as he moved his legs, not only from the immense amount of physical pain but from the thought of leaving Y/N behind and how she had made her friend use her powers to control his body. 
Bucky should be angry and disgusted and absolutely enraged as to what Y/N had done, but he couldn't be. All he could do was tremble in exhaustion and fear. He knew she was capable, and he knew her chances of getting out were larger than not, but just the thought of leaving her behind, when he finally had gotten her in whatever shape or form tore him to shreds.
His lungs were on fire, and his muscles screamed at him as Bucky collapsed on the ramp of the quinjet, metal hand over where the ruined skin of his chest had weaved and split back open, Y/N's name still etched in golden letters. A sob racked his body one of relief and pain.
He was out. He was safe and with his family, but everything hurt and ached and stung so much, he couldn't keep his body upright and promptly passed out.
***
Bucky didn't know how long he was unconscious, but it was a soft humming noise that woke him up. Bleary-eyed, he looked at the metal mesh ceiling of the jet, only to realise the humming wasn't the sound the engine was making. It was actually Y/N singing a song.
"You made it out."
Her head snapped back up from where she had been sitting on the ground to meet Bucky's eyes. A nasty gash ran down the left side of her forehead into the hairline. It was bad enough that Bruce had had to stitch it back together and butterfly band-aids didn't help. Not only that, her nose seemed to have swelled a bit, and when Y/N smiled, Bucky noticed the slowness in the movement, and how she tried not to use the right side of her jaw. He could only hope that whoever had delivered the nasty punches and cuts were dead because once Bucky was back on his feet, he was gonna raise some hell.
"Hey," she cooed, smoothing away matted hair from his face. "You're okay. You're safe. We're on the jet back home, and they're gonna fix you right back up. You're gonna be alright."
His eyes closed as Y/N's palm slid down his cheek in a soothing motion. But as quick as it was there, her touch was gone. Instantly his hand reached out to grab at her wrist like he had month ago only this time she didn’t snatch it away. 
"Don't leave," he rasped.
"I don't thin-"
"Please," Bucky mumbled squeezing her hand. "Please stay."
For a second, she just looked at him, and his blue eyes. He was looking at the woman with such a soft expression, with such trust and longing, Y/N felt her throat close up. Even after how horrible she had been, he still wanted her near him. 
"Okay, Buck," Y/N nodded leaning down to sit on her knees on the floor in front of him. "I'll stay, I promise."
And she did. She didn't leave his side as he was put onto a gurney and wheeled to the med bay, nor did she leave his side when the nurses finally tucked him in on the bed. Instead, Y/N asked Steve to bring her some spare clothes, and she quickly showered and changed in the med-bay's bathroom. 
"All of your stuff was in the dirty wash," the blond super soldier said, giving her one of his large sweatshirts and a pair of Tony's sweatpants. 
Y/N gave him a small smile. "Thanks. I prefer your guys' clothes anyway."
"Thought you might." Steve put his hands in his pockets. "Want any food? Nat's thinking of ordering take-out. We’ve earned it anyways."
"Is she gonna leave anything for me or is she just offering to buy my food to eat it later herself?"
Steve snorted and shook his head. "I'll make sure to get it before she gets her claws on it."
Y/N smiled. "I'm fine, but thank you for asking. I think I'm gonna go and take a nap in a bit, and maybe have a bit after that." Her eyes flickered over to a peacefully sleeping Bucky. "Don't really wanna leave him."
She heard the blond man sigh. "You don't have to feel guilty about anything."
"I do actually. I did this to him," Y/N bit her lip and closed her eyes.
"No, you didn't," Steve replied putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "But you do need to tell him."
With that, he left the girl sitting by his best friend's hospital bed.
***
When Bucky woke up, he woke up feeling completely and utterly exhausted. His head pounded like crazy, eyes felt itchy and tongue felt like lead in his mouth, not to mention the cotton that was stuffed down his throat.
His hand slid backwards to support his body as he leaned up, but a warm palm pushed him back down onto the bed.
"Hey, hey, don't move too much. I'll get you a glass of water." He heard the words through a haze. It took him a moment to gather his bearings to understand where he was and who was with him.
Y/N took his hands and held the cup to his lips until his fingers wrapped around it, and she was sure he had a tight hold on it.
Bucky gulped down the cold liquid as fast as possible, and, in a split-second, Y/N was back with another one. Only after drinking three more, did he feel somewhat sated, and slowly relaxed back onto the bed.
"How long have I been out?"
"A few hours. Docs needed to stitch you up but they had to  sedate you first."
Bucky's eyebrows furrowed. "Why?"
Y/N snorted. " 'Cause you were very high on pain meds, and to quote you – I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me." She bit her lip trying to hide the smile growing. "You need to stop hanging out with Parker and his gang. Soon enough your last words will be a meme."
Bucky gave her a smile. " ‘I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me’ seem quite appropriate."
And when she snorted, Bucky's heart soared as he had succeeded.
"They'd be quite ironic if nothing else."
For a second a silence settled, before Bucky's soft tone broke it.
"Y/N?"
She lifted her head to face him. "Yeah?"
"Can you just tell me… why?"
"I just..." Y/N sighed and huffed. "So many things in my life haven't been my choice. People have always decided in my place ever since I can remember myself, and it got even worse when I started growing up. How I dressed, how I looked... what I thought. My mom was the worst." She let out a bitter chuckle and shook her head. "It was like I was her pet project. 'You have to look a certain way for your soulmate otherwise they'll be embarrassed to have you as one' or 'Do this, do that, otherwise your soulmate won't want to be seen with you'. All-day, every day pretty much since I learned how to walk and talk… all because she couldn't find her own soulmate."
Bucky's eyebrows rose at that, so Y/N explained. "She married a widower. My dad had lost his soulmate to cancer before they ever had kids. A couple of years later, he met my mom… I think he loved her because she looked like her." He didn't need elaboration on that. "And that wasn't fair on her. To compete with a ghost of for the rest of her life, I mean that's just fucking torture… So, when I was born, she took it out on me. I mean, I don't think she saw it that way; I'm actually fairly certain she thought she was doing me a favor, but fuck... the first time I was able to cut and dye my hair the way I wanted to, was when I turned eighteen.”
Their eyes met for a brief second before Y/N lowered them back down onto where her hand rested on Bucky’s bed. “I … I know it doesn't compare to the things you've gone through, but it was hell… Everyone else was making choices I should've been, so when I finally got out, I told myself if there was one thing in my life that will be my choice, it's who I love. Not some bullshit universe picking it for me... Bucky I want you to know, I don't hate the idea of you being my soulmate. Not because it's you, and don't you dare think it's because of your past. If I gave a shit, I wouldn't be sitting here... in fact, after finding out you're my soulmate... I was kinda happy. For the first time in my life, I didn't think it'd be that bad to have a soulmate. You were my dead-crush,” the last part she muttered, and Bucky couldn't help the smile that rose on his chest.
“I was?”
Y/N snorted as did he. “Yeah well, before I knew you weren’t actually dead... But I couldn't step down from my principles. I can't. The thought of this stranger coming in my life and suddenly me having to love them… that's not something I can do."
"I'm sorry," he said looking down at their interlinked hands. "I didn't think it'd be that way… I'm sorry you had to go through that shit."
Y/N shrugged squeezing his hand. " 'S not your fault."
"Still… no one should go through that."
She gave him a small crooked smile. "You've been through worse shit than me."
"Just because someone has it worse, doesn't mean your pain is meaningless," he shook his head. "Just because someone else might be down on the ground but you're still kneeling, doesn't mean it won't take just as much effort to get back up."
Tears brimmed at the edges of Y/N's Y/E/C eyes and she sniffled, shifting in her seat. "Can you show me?" Y/N asked.
Bucky didn't need an explanation of what she wanted, so gently he pulled down the blanket and lifted the hospital gown just past his ribs. Seeing her name on Bucky's skin like that – gold letters defiantly weaving across marred tissue, the name that someone had tried to forcefully remove from his life, the last reminder that he wasn't alone wherever he went, made tears blur her sight.
"I'm sorry," Y/N whispered kissing his palm and resting the one not intertwined with Buckys over where the inscription was. "I'm sorry I was so harsh to you."
"I'm sorry, I sprung this whole thing onto you like that."
" 'S okay," she murmured keeping ahold of Bucky's palm and running her thumb over it. 
"Could," he swallowed, "could I see it?"
Y/N released a shaky breath before lifting her shirt up. His name was as smooth as it had been from the very beginning. His metal thumb was cold as it ran over her skin, making goosebumps rise, but she didn't flinch away. Actually, she leaned into the touch if only for a moment. Bucky's hand slipped down her waist after a bit, down her arm and grasped now both of her hands in his.
"Can we take it slow?" Y/N asked. "I-I don't know if I'll be able to love you from the beginning, but I'm willing to try."
"Sweetheart," he placed his palm on her cheek making her look at him. "Soulmates don't have to be romantic. If you don't want me like that, I won't push you… soulmates are meant to be there for one another."
A watery chuckled, escaped Y/N before she shook her head. "I choose you, Bucky… and I'd be honored if you chose me too. Not because we have some magical fucking link between one another but because we want it. I’d love to get to know you."
"I've always chosen you," he said pulling her closer to him and pressing his forehead to hers. "Right from the start. I chose you. I still do."
He saw her whole-body shudder in relief, and she threw him a wide smile, sniffling a bit.
" 'C 'mere," Bucky mumbled and scooted in his bed making room for Y/N. She didn't protest. Instead, she laid down next to him on the bed, head on his left shoulder and her hand resting on his chest where his heart steadily beat. Right, where her name was. Bucky placed his own hand over hers and closed his eyes letting sleep take over him once again.
And in a way, the feeling of being chosen was so much better than simply being accepted by his soulmate. This meant that Y/N had consciously decided to care for him, to have him in her life and maybe at some point would even love him. All because she wanted to.
Tags (crossed out wouldn’t take):
Bucky tag list: @thunderous-flower @who-cares-rn​ @projectxhappiness​ @callmebucky-doll​ @coal000​ @killuaenthusiast @courtneychicken​ @sophiealiice​ @raquelbc2003​ @watch-out-for-thorns​ @potentially-kinetic​ @thatonegirljessy99​ @proxinge @bbkenna @buckysclub​ @ulired @fangirlofeverythingbasically @mrsalh32611​ @horrorx570ximagines​ @the-nargles-made-me-do-it​ @pooslie​ @itsisabelanotisabella @httpmcrvel​ @purplebananatragedy​ @pxrrishly​ @parker-barnes-af​ @skulliebythesea​ @california-grown​ @stevehesaidabadlanguageword​ @belongsto-prachi​ @hello-i-am-insane​ @its-nott-my-problem @emmalbg​
Forever tags: @lumelgy @palaiasaurus64 @supernaturalbaesduh @breezy1415 @crazy--me @thatawkwardlittlefangirl @sea040561 @staryeyedgirl @deathbyarabbit @s-c-a-r-e-d-po-t-t-e-r @reblogger-not-a-blogger @m-a-t-91 @dalilx @i-need-a-hero-i-need-a-loki @maladaptive-ninja-returns​ @averyrogers83 @in-the-end-im-still-trash @gallifreyansass​ @dewy-biitch​ @avxgers​ @unlikelygalaxygiver @magicwithaknife​ @ollyoxenfrees​ @bnhvrdy​ @tvwhoresblog @celebsimagines​ @thatkindofgurl​ @sj-thefan​ @teenwolflover28
Marvel tags: @nerissa98​ @happyseagrill​ @asguardiansoftheavengers​ @crazybutconfidentaf​ @wishingforahome​ @pizzarollpatrol​ @desir-ae​
A/N: My tags are always open :)
What did ya think?
P.S. I don’t accept requests.
P.S.S. Please don’t plagiarise my work or repost it onto other mediums without my express written permission.
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nightwhite13 · 4 years ago
Text
at first i wanna write something serious, but somewhere along the way @vallern came up with a hc and everything went crack from there, and she helped me wrote this even tho she didn’t play the game, ugh her mind. so if u asking us about plot, tone, etc? we dont know her. this set in distant future or an au idk, no one knows
anyway, stay strong during this trying time, fellow clowns
tagging @somewillwin @uhh-the-green-thing @poppy-sin-clair @malvinghlein @jmojellybae  @simpforpoppy
The sound of your heels echoed between the dull conversation of the other students, still lingering at campus after their class. You ignored the worried glances they throw at you. You didn’t care; it wasn’t the first time they gawked at you nor will it be the last, but this time, it felt different because you fucking knew why they were looking at you, and it’s not because of something good.
Good, bad, neutral.
Once upon a time it’s such a foreign concept for you; after all, everything is acceptable in the name of profit, your father once said to you when he taught you everything you need to know to take over the family’s company.
“Poppy, wait!”
You grit your teeth and walked faster, thankful because unlike some idiot you can actually walk in heels. Hell, you probably could climb Mount Everest with one.
“Poppy, holy shit, stop!”
You ignored him, but you can tell he’s getting closer to you.
You screamed when Carter caught up with you. He tugged your wrist until you stopped walking, almost making you fall because of the sudden movement.
“Let go of me, you idiot!” You hissed as you yanked your hand away from his big hand.
“Look, it wasn’t her fault!” Carter said between his panting.
Your cheeks burn, remembering what you just saw a few minutes ago. “I don’t care whose fault…”
“Persephone kissed her, okay, we were just hanging around waiting for you and…”
“Why are you even waiting for me?” You know your class was going to take forever so you told Bea to go on ahead with everyone else and you can go there with Uber or something since you just had a fight with your parents and they forbid Samuel to pick you up. You don’t want to hear the jocks complaining because you disturbed their lunch scheduled–and they called you drama queen–so you thought it's better if Bea and the others leave first.
Carter looked at you softly. “You’re our friend; of course we’re going to wait for you.”
You looked away, unable to keep looking at Carter's super cute dimple. “I don’t remember ever being friends with himbo.”
Carter laughed. “Look, if you don’t believe me, just see Veronica’s Pictagram, okay? She’s doing a livestream of us catching grapes with our mouth.”
“What the hell?” You better keep Bea away from these himbos, otherwise she would turn into one. Not that it would be that hard, since Bea had half of a functional braincell on her best day.
“Look, just, just see it for yourself, okay? Bea didn’t kiss Persephone, she caught her off guard. It wasn’t Bea’s fault, Poppy.”
“And why is she not here? Why is she not the one that chases me? Are you her minion now?” It’s not like you ever imagined a scenario where Bea chased you down like in those romance movies you secretly love starring midwestern America's favorite white actress, Reese Witherspoon, no.
“What? No, I’m not yellow, don’t call me a minion. That’s a low insult, Poppy. Even by your standard.”
“Carter, that’s not…”
“Everyone is trying to stop everyone from getting into a fight with Persephone.”
“What?”
“Well, the last time I saw, Chloe is trying to punch Persephone because she kissed Bea out of nowhere, and Ford and Luis are trying to stop her.”
You sighed, if this happened before Bea came into your life, you would probably have said something like she’s my minion, of course she did that. But now, after everything, after all the bad blood between the two of you, it was weird to hear that Chloe actually cared for you. She always has, but you still didn’t understand why would Chloe put up with your bullshit.
“Michael is holding back Zoey from calling her family’s lawyer.”
“What?”
“Zoey said what Persephone did is a sexual assault and she can get Persephone in jail for that.”
You knew that Zoey girl was smart and efficient. A tiny part of yourself was happy for Veronica when they both announced that they’re together now.
“And where’s Bea now? Why is she not here?”
Carter’s forehead crinkled. “Uh, I don’t know.”
“See, she doesn’t care about me! Then why should I fucking care?” You said, yet you actually fucking cared. That was the worst part. “I told Bea that skank is bad news, but what did she make me do? I had to apologize to that bitch! And look what it got me?” You raised your voice, trying to keep your tears at bay and jabbed Carter’s chest. “That bitch kissed my…” Girlfriend, you wanted to say, yet you swallowed the word back and it made your throat hurt.
The two of you haven’t talked about your status, not yet. Both of you had so many issues to deal with, and by the time it’s done, reality slapped you and reminded you that finals were just three months away. You couldn't afford to slack off; not if you wanted a relatively free summer vacation away from your parents' nagging and not-so-hidden disappointment.
“Look, Poppy…” Carter touched your wrist again.
“Don’t touch me!”
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Carter raised his hands in surrender. “Look, just… Hey, Poppy, wait!”
You didn’t need to hear your stupid ex-boyfriend apologize in behalf of your stupid…
Stupid ex-something.
__________________________________________________________
Thankfully, no other idiots were stupid enough to stop you from going to your dorm. You slammed your door hard, ignoring a voice that sounded like your parents’ at the back of your mind, angry at you for your childish behavior. ("Do not slam your door on me, young lady!")
You growled angrily when you realized you were wearing Bea’s new jacket, the jacket you gave to her a few weeks ago. It’s not that you were trying to change her style. Honestly, all those times you were mocking her style was maybe, just a little maybe, because you liked her, just a tiny bit. You'd rather die than to actually say that to her face, though.
Good girls don’t fall in love with another girl, Poppy.
Your parents' words kept echoing inside your head every time your heart beat faster whenever you saw Bea, and you were always listening to your brain instead of your heart. You still felt guilty every time you enjoyed bickering with her and pushing her buttons, because she made you feel alive. It was wrong. It was wrong and yet it was all you can feel whenever you think about her. Before you knew it, Bea had wormed her way into your brain, and now she lived in your head rent-free.
You ripped Bea’s jacket and threw it to the floor after taking off your heels. You looked over to Bea’s red jacket, lying on the floor with the back facing you. Bea still had that mindset where she wouldn’t spend money to pamper herself. “Jacket is a jacket, babe. Why do I need to buy something expensive if I don’t like it?”
So you tried to find something that Bea liked and it wasn't that expensive. Honestly, you were surprised with Taylor’s ability to find stores that sold medium-quality clothes and actually looked good. It was a marvel, your friendship, ugh you want to barf every time you say friendship, with Taylor. You never knew that thank you and please had so much power to control people. Whoever said you can catch more flies with honey was right.
You thought that maybe you should take a really nice and long bath to relax and forget everything that happened. But on another side, you were curious with what Carter said. He might be a himbo, but he’s no liar. So you opened your Pictagram and sure enough, Veronica’s livestream was the first thing you saw. You wanted to click it, but then Veronica might know that you see her livestream, and you didn’t want her to know. So you used your rarely used picta.
 ____________________________________________________________
“Okay, so how are we doing this?” You could hear Veronica’s voice; she was recording Bea, standing between Carter and Luis. Suddenly, Veronica moved the camera, and you saw Chloe talking with Taylor, but you couldn’t really hear what they were saying.
When the camera was focused on Bea again, Michael stood next to Carter, holding a bag of green grapes.
“Simple, Louis will throw grapes at me and I’ll try to catch it with my mouth.” Bea said with a smirk.
“And I’ll catch Michael’s throw.” Carter pointed to himself with both of his thumbs.
You heard Zoey's groan, because how clear her voice was, like Veronica’s, you had a hunch that she probably sat next to her girlfriend. “Babe, that sounds dangerous. Can you do something that doesn’t have any probability with either one of you end up in the hospital?”
Veronica laughed and now she was filming Zoey’s frowning face. “Let them, it’s good for the view.”
“Babe, no!” Zoey pushed Veronica’s shoulder, probably, but it only made Veronica chuckle.
“Come on, are you guys doing this or what?” Chloe yelled from her place, she’s eating that spicy chips your great-aunt bought from Indonesia during her vacation there. Ford was sitting next to her, and she slapped his hand when he tried to take the chips bag from her.
“Michael, didn't Trixie ask you to buy grapes?” Zoey said. “Isn’t that your girlfriend’s grapes?”
Everyone groaned at the same time, while Michael slapped his forehead while looking at the bag. “Oh shit, I forget!”
“Zoey, stop being a voice of reason for once!” Bea yelled.
Veronica’s camera was still focused on Bea and the jocks, and honest to god she stomped her foot like a toddler. You couldn’t believe these people once called you drama queen. “Well, I’m sorry, but without Poppy here, I’m the only one with the brain cell left between you intellectually challenged people!” Zoey huffed. She’s right; you’ve lost count on how many times you had to stop Bea and the jocks from doing something stupid and idiotic.
“Hey, I’m not that stupid! You take that back!” Veronica moved the camera to Chloe right before Chloe threw a chip at Zoey, both of them gasped in surprise. Thankfully, the chip landed at the table.
“Veronica, come on, record us!” Bea whined.
“Are you sure… Oh, Persephone.” Veronica’s voice suddenly went flat.
Your blood boiled when that fucking skank entered Veronica’s camera view. She pushed Luis away from Bea, while Bea waved at her.
“Oh hey, what are you…”
Everything happened all at once.
Persephone pulled Bea by her shirt and kissed her hard. You felt like you want to vomit and your body suddenly felt colder than before, you heard Chloe screamed, “You fucking asshole, let her go!”, and then she lunged forward only for Luis to and Ford to hold her back, while Chloe was kicking and screaming. And then you saw Persephone waved.
And that’s the picture Persephone sent to you and posted it on public for everyone to see. The one that made your world stopped spinning and holding you back from going to find Bea. She could kiss whoever she wanted, you keep telling yourself that, yet your heart shattered with every step you took away from her.
Veronica’s camera suddenly shook the moment Zoey stood up and yelled. “Let her go, or I’ll call the police!”
Michael pushed Persephone away from Bea.
The last thing you saw before the video ended was Bea’s furious face.
 ____________________________________________________________
You sighed deeply and threw your phone to your bed.
You knew it wasn’t Bea’s fault, you knew the moment you saw that bitch's smirk. And yet, you felt like someone burned what's left of your heart with jealousy and anger.
No, it wasn't anger. It was another emotion you haven’t acquainted with, one that is similar to what you always feel every time your parents break their promises to you.
Disappointment.
("We can't go to Seoul this summer, Poppy, Auntie Na-ra is probably busy. Besides, wouldn't it better to spend time with Peter? Help your dad get that tender, will you?"
"But I called Auntie a few days ago and she said she's free anytime!"
"Spending time with Peter is more important, Poppy. You could go see Auntie Na-ra at winter break. This is more important.")
But you didn’t understand why you would feel that way for this kind of situation; it should’ve been anger, consuming you with passion until you burned everything down within your reach.
It should’ve been anger, because you understood anger. It was one of your best friends beside loneliness and fear, you knew it too well and anger understood you like no one ever does.
But instead of the comforting burn of anger, you felt the coldness of disappointment at the bottom of your empty heart.
Before you could analyze this anomaly further, you heard commotion from outside of the Zeta building.  Even before you walk toward your window, you know the source of said commotion.
“Luis, I thought you said your speaker work!” Bea raised her voice.
“Well yeah, that’s before Ford threw my speaker to the freaking wall!”
“Bro, I didn’t know it’s a speaker, okay? It looks like a brick! Why did you even buy that?”
“So you like to randomly throw bricks at walls?”
You folded your arms and watched Luis trying to fix his broken brick speaker from your window. He slapped Ford’s hand away when he tried to touch it.
“No!”
Faintly, you could hear Irene Cara’s voice singing What a Feeling. You tried to keep your face impassive, but it was hard since your body remembered what you usually do while listening to this song. (Trying to copy Jennifer Beal's iconic dance routine and failed, every single time.)
If it wasn’t because Bea spent so much time using your Spotify (premium, thank you so much), you would probably be horrified that she knew your favorite song. You once offered her to pay for the premium, not out of the goodness of your heart, but because she’s kept forgetting to subscribe for premium feature, and you’re so tired hearing the ads every time you actually enjoying the flow of Bea’s playlist. She had, surprisingly, a decent taste in music.
Instead of accepting it like a normal human being, Bea just copied her playlists to your Spotify. Good thing you already tidied up your playlist and you had to make sure that Bea didn’t put a new song there. And also you made sure your private playlist stayed private. You don’t need her to mock you for your anime soundtracks playlist. Bea could say whatever she wanted ("You like a goddamn Naruto song?!") but Flow's GO!!! is an absolute banger and nothing could change your mind, thank you very much.
You almost lost your shit when Bea asked your favorite music genre. Good thing your father trained you well and you could compose yourself and answered diplomatically. You had to bite your tongue when you heard Bea said Hey! Say! Jump! was overrated. The disrespect!
You didn’t talk to her for three days until she begged for your forgiveness. God, your reputation would never recover if people knew that your actual taste was somewhere between a Midwestern white mom and a goddamn middle schooler weeb.
You blinked a few times when you heard the beginning note of Barracuda from Luis’ broken brick speaker. Well, you did accidentally tell Bea that you like this song, who doesn’t anyway? It was a bop.
But you didn’t tell her that your real dream date was actually rollerskating with Barracuda blast in full volume. You didn’t spend 137 dollar and skipped classes for three days straight to watch Birds of Prey nonstop during the first week of its release for nothing. Plus, Margot Robbie beating men with bat and rollerskating? Yes please.
“Yes!” Bea screamed in joy when the speaker was in the right place and actually worked. She looked up to your window, holding the speaker on top of her head. Well, at least she’s not holding her old Xiaomi with its cracked screen, otherwise you would probably—
Never mind, Luis was holding her phone.
You groaned, trying to hide your embarrassment. God, her family is rich now; can’t she spare some of the money to invest in her gadget? You hated it every time you sent her emojis and she was just “Babe, it’s just squares.” Or she just sent a screenshot of your text (she changed your name in her phone, it’s Satan Popsicle now) and it’s rows and rows of squares instead of emojis.
“Poppy, babe, please…”
Before she could say anything else, the sound of Spotify ads suddenly replaced Barracuda, making everyone gasped in surprise.
“What the fuck?!” Bea yelled angrily and looked over to Luis. “Luis, what the hell, man?!”
“Sorry, sorry! I accidentally hit the next button! I didn’t know you didn’t have a premium feature! Who the hell doesn’t have Spotify premium anyway?”
You sighed deeply and rubbed your forehead, already feeling the incoming headache, while everyone was fighting with everyone down there. You saw Bea already hugging Zoey and Zoey was patting Bea’s back in comfort, you couldn’t hear Bea say something, probably she was frustrated because she didn’t use Zoey’s phone or that she blamed herself because she kept forgetting to download the Spotify's premium APK. Probably the latter, since you knew how much she loved that APK. You don't know, you're neither a peasant nor poor enough to go into the world of blackmarket apps. You're too pretty for Android.
You took Chloe’s shoes that you secretly stole from her room. Those shoes were hideous. Getting rid of it was basically a public service. Chloe should've thanked you. Then you threw one of the shoes, but it hit Carter instead of Luis.
“Get lost, all of you.”
“Poppy, what the hell?! How do you even get my shoes?!” Chloe screamed as she took her ugly shoe.
“It's so hideous, Chloe.”
“Oh you’re just jealous because they don’t have your size!”
You gasped and threw the other shoe at Chloe, it only hit her shoulder, damn it. “How dare you! Get lost, all of you, right now!”
“Oh, come on!” Zoey yelled. “It wasn’t Bea’s fault, Satan!”
“I don’t care, new money, get fucking lost!”
Bea held Zoey back and shook her head. “Come on, let’s just go.”
Zoey was torn looking between you and Bea. “Babe, what the fuck. Poppy…”
And then Bea finally looked at you with that soft and understanding smile. You hated it, you once yearned for it.
“It’s okay, come on.” She knew that you need more time, and she’s willing to give it to you because she was that nice.
Veronica was the last one to leave. She raised her eyebrow, but you stood your ground. You saw her type something, but you didn’t really think much of it. Veronica and her phone was one entity anyway.
But then you saw your phone, and it looked like Veronica actually had something to say.
 watch my livestream, youll know the truth
idc bitch
Me & zoey r gonna leave this weekend 2 hang w Jaylen, do whtvr u want with that info
meaning?
idk talk w ur gf or have tons of sex
shes not my gf
lol k
 You huffed loudly and threw your phone to your bed, good thing it didn’t miss or you need to buy a new one, again.
You paced back and forth inside your room; it feels weird without Bea here. Maybe you should go to her room? It wasn't her fault, after all. That fucking whore was to blame. She ruined your life once and while yes, sure, you had your revenge, now she’s back into your life again, and she’s already destroying everything.
You bit your nail, ignoring the sound of your mother from the corner of your mind reminding you not to bite your nails. ("Poppy, I will tie your fingers if I have to. Stop biting your nail, it's crass and disgusting.")
You gritted your teeth and took your phone from your bed and Bea’s old jacket from the floor. If this went wrong, you’re blaming Veronica.
 ____________________________________________________________
“Poppy, what…”
You pushed the door wide open, forcing yourself to get inside Bea’s room. Now you’re standing in front of Bea, unsure what to say. What could you possibly say in this situation, anyway? And you still don’t understand why you felt disappointment. At what, exactly?
When you craned your neck to meet Bea’s eyes, because fuck her for being six foot tall, you finally understood why.
“I hope you slapped that bitch after what she did to you.”
Bea chuckled and shook her head. “No, but I broke her nose.” She raised her eyebrow when you took her hands. “Um, Poppy...”
“Next time, if I told you that you shouldn’t trust a rich kid that isn’t spoiled to the core, listen to me,” you said without breaking eye contact.
Bea sighed. “Okay, I will. I thought it was just your old self talking shit about Persephone.”
“Well, yeah, that too.” You let go of Bea’s hand. “But that skank is basically a bad news.”
“Yeah, whoever thought she would try to get back at you like that?” Bea scratched her neck. “I’m sorry, but can we stop talking about Persephone now? I don’t want to hear her name ever again.”
You nodded.
“Is that all?” Bea raised her eyebrow. “I mean, you can just text me for that.”
You bit your lips. You don’t want to do this, you really don’t. “Okay, you’re right." You tried to fight the urge to say something negative or to backtrack.
Bea’s forehead crinkled. “About what?”
“Kanashimi is better than GO!!!,” you said with a grimace, as if you just swallowed a gallon of poison. Might as well.
Bea laughed loudly. “Finally you admitted that I’m right. Wait, how do you know…”
You never said Bea, you’re so fucking wrong and uncultured, GO!!! is the ultimate opening every time Bea said Kanashimi was way better than GO!!!, you only said that I’m too pretty to heard those songs, but I know you’re wrong.
You ignored her questioning look and climbed into her bed. “I’m using my Netflix’s account since I’m sure you don’t even have a Netflix account. I don’t understand why you’re so adamant to watch from Fmovies. You'd better pay for Netflix than for Nord.” Kids these days with their Netflix and shady streaming sites, they would never understand the feeling reading some batshit subtitle translation or watching thirty parts of videos on YouTube.
“What?” Bea was still standing in the middle of her room like an idiot.
“Well? Do you want to watch Naruto or not?” You huffed, already feeling your cheeks getting warmer. You never showed this side of you to anyone else, and now here you are, baring your soul in front of your ex-nemesis. Yes, you counted opening up a bit about your weeaboo side as baring your soul.
Bea laughed, honest to god laughed out loud while bending over and hands on her knees like you just said one of the greatest jokes in the universe.
You growled lowly in your throat and then you climbed down from her bed. “Fine, spend your weekend on your own then, I don’t care. I have a lot of reading to do anyway.” By reading, you mean there was a new chapter of Gokushufudou that just came out yesterday, but she didn't need to know that.
But Bea stopped you when you’re walking past her; she touched your wrist gently. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to laugh.”
“You did.”
Bea laughed again, that stupid idiot. “Okay, yes, I am. But it’s because you keep saying ‘I’m too pretty to watch anime’ but you know way too much about it.” You just grumbled when Bea said that while doing an impression of you. It’s bad. You were way cuter when you were being haughty.
Before you could say anything, Bea bent down and kissed your forehead. You felt your forehead burned pleasantly from the gentle touch of her lips. “And of course I would love to watch Naruto with you.” She grinned. “After all, I taught you the power of friendship, believe it.”
“I hate you.”
“I know, I hate you too, Miss ‘I’m-too-pretty-for-anime’,” Bea said adoringly. “But we’re going to skip Shippuden, right?”
“Bitch, that’s the best part of Naruto.”
Bea rolled her eyes, but she’s smiling. “You have a bad taste.”
“No, I have a good taste.” You kissed her lips tenderly. “Because I chose you,” you whispered softly.
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augusberkeley · 3 years ago
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asgardianthot · 5 years ago
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Hunting Season (sambucky) – Part 2
Series Masterlist
Summary: The Barnes family is your average rich people circus. With Bucky’s post-breakup financial depression, and a literal treasure hunt at stake, his best friend Sam finds himself in a mad situation in order to help him. They sure can pretend to be together, but that’s just the easy part.
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"So how do we do this?" Sam asked.
He was brushing his teeth with the door open so he could glance at Bucky, who sat on the edge of Sam's bed. He was going to give his friend the bed back once they fully decided to go to sleep and Bucky took the couch, again, but for now, he was enjoying the comfort of a bedroom. He always did find comfort in Sam and his hospitality, after all. He remembered that one Christmas the Barnes spent in the French Alps, the one Bucky avoided because he had just broken up with Rumlow for the first time; Sam was kind enough to invite him to the Wilsons for the holidays, and that was when Bucky realized where his friend got his charm and kindness. Sam's entire family were the most welcoming people Bucky had ever encountered, which made him wish he had been born into a home like that.
As Sam spit the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth, Bucky thought of the specificities of their plan. At the realization that, if his parents had sat through several different relationships with the same Brock Rumlow, they probably wouldn't blink at the sight of a new man, he felt that the plan wouldn't be too complicated after all.
"I don't know." He shrugged, "Can you pretend to be gay?"
While Bucky's question was asked nonchalantly, Sam received it like a suckerpunch. It was supposed to be an easy answer, however the topic was a delicate one for Sam. Not that Bucky knew anything about it, but Sam kept a few secrets to himself. And since his friend had only ever seen him dating girls...
"Easy peasy." Sam faked a smile before cleaning his chin with a clean towel, "It's pretending I like you that's gonna be tough." He joked.
"Funny." Bucky said without a hint of amusement.
Eventually, Sam returned to his original concerns. The stakes weren't too high for him, but if Bucky got caught with this, he would never hear the end of it. Who knew what his parents would put him through, and Bucky had already mentioned something about being banned from the annual hunt for life, losing all hopes of ever getting the slightest fraction of Nana's money. Those two million dollars could mean everything to Bucky, so they really had to put on a show.
He walked back to his room and gestured his guest to give him some room, next to him. Bucky granted him the space, and they both sat in their own seriousness.
"No, but seriously, do we have to kiss and stuff?" Sam asked.
Bucky reflected on it.
"Maybe. I mean, we gotta make it believable."
The other man nodded, taking in the idea of kissing Bucky, even if just for an act, until Bucky's words caught him by surprise.
"Wanna practice?"
Sam raised his eyebrows, and cleared his throat with nervousness, "Uh, sure."
Nevertheless, he was met by a very amused Bucky, who happened to have been holding in his laughter. When he cracked up, falling back on the bed with pride on his own joke, Sam de-tensed.
"I'm kidding, dude." He threw a light punch to Sam's back, "We pro'ly won't even kiss through the entire week. Family's real uptight when they wanna be."
Sam let out a breath only he could hear, hopefully, and pretended to be comfortable with the entire situation.
"Okay, but if we do have to kiss, it better look real."
-
Day 1.
The time had come, and spirits weren't great. Sam had his shit together, luckily, but Bucky wasn't as confident. In the ride from the station to the lake house, they both sat at the back of the taxi, trying to prepare for the upcoming week. Eight full days of acting couldn't be too easy, but Sam was calm.
James looked the polar opposite, as he tried to keep his cool, mumbling to himself.
"Deep breaths." He told Sam like he was doing the calming for both of them, and it brought a small smirk to Sam's lips.
He watched his friend breathe in and out with his eyes closed, and he feared he might have a mental breakdown before they even got the chance to reach the house.
"Hey, I got this." He reminded Bucky, in attempts to ease his worries.
"God, I really hope you do."
Suddenly, the panoramic of the gigantic residence came to their field of vision. The two-story house had direct access to the lake, along with stored kayaks and sailing equipment. There was a -- floating there, unused, marking the family's possessions, and facing the big garden that separated the house from the water.
As soon as the vehicle stopped in the entrance, an employee came out to take care of their bags. Sam gave Bucky an odd look, himself not being used to maids and being served like that, to which Bucky only pressed his lips together. That's the Barnes way.
"Oh, come inside!" Bucky's mother welcomed them, ushering them inside.
They both obeyed and walked up the three steps to the door, finally entering the house. Before either of them got the chance to speak, though, Winnifred began theatricalizing.
"You poor things, it's so hot outside!" she lamented while pressing a hand to her chest.
Bucky tried, and failed, to reject her drama, "It's not that-"
"You must be Samuel." She ignored her son, and continued to ramble over Sam's attempts to at least say hello, "You want a drink? It's too hot."
The guest eyed Bucky, who was just staring into nothingness. If his eyes could speak, they would have been saying 'yep, sounds about right.'
"Uh, sure." Sam accepted, "Thank you, ma'am. I'm so glad-"
"There he is!" he was cut off by Bucky's father, who walked into the welcoming hall with his arms extended, "The man of the hour."
The two men shook hands.
"Sir." Sam nodded.
"Oh, please, it's George."
Sam opened his mouth to say something polite, when the woman interrupted him once more.
"And Winnifred." She added.
This time, Sam waited for a gap in the conversation. He hadn't been able to lay out a single sentence to the married couple, so he awkwardly waited for them to interrupt him, but when the silence extended for too long, he smiled, nervously.
"George and Winnifred, then." He agreed, nodding, "It's nice to meet you."
"James tells me you teach." Winnifred jumped right into the discussion.
"I do." Sam smiled, "History."
"Which school?"
"Mom, don't be a snob." Bucky warned her.
"I'm just asking him a question." She pledged innocence, as usual.
As much as the question of academic elitism bothered Sam, he had to remain polite. He hated gratifying rich people like that by disclosing the snob university where he worked. Sometimes he wanted to quit and go back to where he started, small high schools, poorly funded programs... for now, though, he had unpaid student debt and a two million dollar hunt to win.
"It's alright." He bit back his pride and dismissed it, "I'm teaching at Princeton right now."
Winnifred raised her eyebrows with one half excitement and one half surprise.
"That's a fine school." She showed how impressed she was.
The woman probably thought Bucky couldn't do better than the family friend business trash. She probably figured her son was too stupid for a Princeton professor, much less to settle down with one. It didn't add to the bad image Sam already had of her.
"I have some contacts in Harvard, could get you a spot." George butt in.
"Dad."
"Thank you, sir, that's not necessary." Sam rejected very gracefully, "I love my job and I certainly can't leave my students."
George gave him a respectful nod, while Winnifred gave his son a look, one that yelled well done. The interaction had gone better than any of them had expected, making Bucky forget every concern he had before. When they moved to the living room, which was right next door, the fake couple exchanged some victorious glances. Feeling much more confident now, Bucky pointed to the old lady sitting at the end of the room.
"Sam, I'm honored to introduce you to Nana Barnes." He dramatized in order to annoy the woman.
She looked like the kind of grandmother who had strong opinions on people and therefore, favorites, and Bucky sure acted like the favorite, teasing her with the confidence that she wouldn't mind. Nana didn't bother standing up. She was wearing a conservative black dress, reading glasses and she held a glass of Champaign on her hand. The matriarch look suited her wonderfully.
"I've heard many good things." Sam approached her, extending his hand.
While shaking the young man's hand, Nana eyed him up and down.
"You're handsome." She said in a powerful tone, "Much better looking than the last one."
Nervously, Sam fixed his tie and cleared his throat.
"Thank you." He frowned amusingly, not sure if he was meant to take the compliment or not.
"Are you an idiot like him?"
Sam tilted his head, "Excuse me?"
"That Rumlow boy, he was an ass. Couldn't tell his south from his north. Now, are you a smart man?"
Sam looked back at Bucky, who merely gave him a thumbs up as he backed away and left the two alone. It was only then that Sam noticed Bucky's parents had abandoned him as well. He accepted his situation, and sat down on the chair next to her.
"I... like to think so." He smiled, "I sure hope so, or else I'm teaching the next generation to be just as dumb."
"Ah, so I've heard." She spoke like it was the first thing she fully approved of, "It's a nice break from all the dull business men in our family. Is Jamie planning to live off your Princeton check?"
This time, the harsh question caught him less off-guard, "No, ma'am, I'm just helping him get back on his feet."
The lady narrowed her eyes like she was quizzing the new boyfriend.
"How long have you known my grandson?"
The fake couple had prepared a whole concocted tale, but right there, in front of the matriarch who worshipped the truth, he figured telling her the real story wouldn't hurt.
"I don't even know. Probably... six years?" the realness behind his words made Nana seem interested, "We met through other people, next thing I know we're best friends for good. Couldn't shake him off my back."
The woman laughed, "He can't help it, the Barnes have bloodsucker in their DNA."
Bucky had mentioned at some point, how the woman referred to the Barnes as simply the family she had married into when it came to pointing out their flaws, yet called herself a Barnes when it suited her. Sam, however, held in any type of snarky comment or laughter, and made an effort to remain excessively polite. He knew he wouldn’t be able to keep the façade for long, or at least not for the entire week, so he made sure to make the best first impression possible.
"No, Bucky's not like that.” He defended the man, although he immediately decided against contradicting the matriarch; he raised one hand in retreat, “I mean, you've known him all his life, so what do I know? But, uh… he's not that kind of friend."
The last word brought a smear of annoyance to the woman’s features, considering Sam had used it twice already.
"You can say boyfriend, Samuel, I'm not a prude." She protested.
Suddenly, Sam realized he was being too genuine. The way he spoke about Bucky was so truthful, he forgot for a second that he was meant to pretend to be his loving partner.
"Yes, boyfriend. Sorry."
In the welcoming hall, Bucky was thanking the service for getting his bags upstairs. He noticed a taxi parked outside, and he figured his cousin or one of his uncles had arrived, but as he wiped sweat from his forehead, the door opened, and his sister Rebecca walked in. As to be expected, she was dressed to impress in a light blue skirt and a sunny hat, wearing the additional drops of sweat that fell down her neck like an accessory.
"What are you doing here?” Bucky ambushed her, not too happy to see her, “You said you wouldn't make it."
The young woman didn’t seem offended by her welcoming, for she knew she was about to lie.
"I decided to spend some time with my family." She smiled brightly, reaching to hug her brother.
"Bull.” He stopped her. “What happened?"
Rebecca sighed, "Why do you always assume something's happened?"
"Because I'm the one picking up your slacks and shoving it under the rug." Bucky spat, looking around to check that nobody was listening.
"My hero." She rolled her eyes.
"Someone has to keep making you look perfect."
The words hit her, but she didn’t wince. Her face fell minimally, which was her own way of accepting it. Bucky was right, after all, because for years he had helped her out in every singl one of her fuck-ups, never asking for anything back, which resulted in their parents beliving their little girl to be a practical angel, while James remained the family screw up. The thing was, both siblings were emotional trainwrecks, but Bucky was the only one who got any backlash for it.
"So what was it?” he asked again, this time much more relaxed, “Boyfriend? Boyfriend's wife?"
"Actually...” Rebecca lowered her voice, “It's money. I need to win the hunt this year."
Bucky couldn’t believe his ears. Rebecca had only joined the family vacations to ruin his plans.
"I need to win the hunt this year." He was quick to shake his head.
"You don't understand, I owe a shit ton or money, James.” Unfortunately, his sister was just as enthusiastic about her own issues, “It's bad."
"Then get a loan from dad." He proposed in a very order-like tone, for he knew their father would give Rebecca money, while never offering Bucky a penny.
"He can't know I'm in debt!" she whisper-shouted.
Bucky took a deep breath and massaged his temples, still in disbelief that they were in this situation to begin with. He had brought his best friend into this, for all sakes. He couldn’t lose the money to his little sister. He wanted to explain to her how he was penny-less and had been enduring their parent’s hellfire for weeks, but Rebecca already knew that, and if that alone didn’t bring out her empathy, no amount of persuasion would. He wanted to tell her exactly what kind of treatment he had received in their parent’s house, but of course, Rebecca must have already guessed.
As much as he wanted to keep fighting, Sam joined them, and the two siblings were distracted from the argument.
"Samuel Wilson, why on earth are you in this shithole?"
Sam was baffled, as they hadn’t even spent half an hour there, and things were already not going according to plan. Bucky had sworn Rebecca wouldn’t be there, which was good, because Rebecca knew Sam and she knew that their relationship was not at all romantic.
"Good to see you too." He said, trying his best to ignore her obvious confusion and walking closer to Bucky, "Uh, your folks-"
"Sweetheart, you made it!" Winnifred’s exclamation echoed across the room.
"Of course, mama." Rebecca faked enthusiasm as she opened her arms.
"I see you've met Jamie's boyfriend." The siblings’ mother remarked as she gave Rebecca a quick hug.
Even before the contact was over, Rebecca was frowning.
"Boyfriend?"
Think, quickly.
"Yes, boyfriend. “ Bucky said loudly; perhaps too loudly to be believable, “We didn't wanna say. Thanks for ruining the newsbreak, mom." He faked discourage.
Rebecca crossed her arms over her chest, "No, you're not."
Desperate to play it out, Sam pressed a hand to the low of Bucky’s back, in an attempt to show affection and commodity with one another. Bucky, however, froze a little, because it was the first time Sam had done something like that and it felt more than just odd.
"We sure are." Sam grinned.
"Yeah, it just..." Bucky failed to imitate his fake boyfriend’s confidence as he scratched his brow and struggled with words, "Just sort of happened. We were going to tell you."
The room went silent, and Rebecca definitely wasn’t convinced. In fact, she saw straight through both of them and deciphered the truth behind the masquerade in a matter of seconds, which didn’t amuse her at all. They were going to take her prize away.
"Bucky's cheating." She said.
"Excuse me?” Winnifred opened her eyes wide, offended at what the accusation implied.
"At the hunt.” The young woman continued, earning a pleading look from her brother, who begged her not to out his lies; thankfully, she proceeded with a mocking tone, “He knows Nana's biased for couples, so he dragged his boyfriend to this freakshow."
Both Sam and Bucky felt like they had been given a second life, and they quickly laughed it off to dissimulate. Winnifred made a comment about her daughter’s choice of words while they all moved back to the living room, and although what had just happened was a sign that Rebecca wouldn’t out them, all three involved never got their eyes off each other.
-
Dinnertime was an event for the whole family. Others had arrived with their own luggage, setting three different generations in one table. Sam could only feel how strongly out of place he was, among the fancy drinks and conversations about business and family companies. He was learning a hell of a lot about Bucky’s family, though. The fortune was earned by the parents of the deceased grandfather, and he had been the one to ‘make them all rich assholes’, according to Bucky’s words.
"Aside from us and Becca, everyone here just wants to win the hunt for their ego.” He explained in whispers, leaning closer to Sam to not be overheard by the rest of the family, “It's just a fun tradition to them."
"I bet it's fun, getting four millions a year." Sam snorted quietly.
It made Bucky laugh, which got the attention of his aunt. She eyed the couple like they were just so cute together, and it only then occurred to Bucky that maybe they did.
"Oh, I forgot about Uncle Milo.” He gestured to an old and nice-looking man at the other end of the table. “Grandpa Theodore's brother, he's after the fortune."
Sam didn’t believe his friend, for it sounded like cliché rich family drama, something out of a soap opera. However, the young Barnes explained that the cliché was real, and that Uncle Milo had gambled his share of the fortune away, so he maintained his proximity to Nana in a desperate attempt to get it all back, the money, the house, everything. He soon continued explaining the rest of the less relevant characters: George's brother Teddy and his wife Andrea, who had a son about their age; cousin Colin. He was a dull creature and he looked like he'd come out of a Lacoste magazine, both him and his Ivy-league-college-sweetheart fiancée did. The third Barnes sibling was Aunt Ida, who had no children but was happily divorced.
“Are we all done with desert?” Nana stood up from her chair.
Cousin Colin raised his fork to speak and say that he hadn’t, but Nana didn’t seem to care.
“Wonderful. Alright, let’s get this over with.”
“No speech, Nana?” Bucky teased her.
“No, you’re all well aware. Except for Samuel, but he’s a smart man, he’ll catch up.” She winked at him.
That was apparently a good sign. She liked Sam.
“The first clue is very easy: just the meaning behind it all.” The woman chuckled at the end of her sentence, earning a few confused looks, “I didn’t hide it very well. You’ll find it if you search for it.”
Every guest remained seated. Knowing the woman, she wasn’t kidding, and this was just a riddle they were supposed to decipher, but they never failed to give her the benefit of the doubt that perhaps, just maybe one time, she would give them a real clue instead of messing with them as much as she could. Nana raised her glass of Champaign as a toast.
“Happy Hunting.” She smirked to the glass before chugging it down.
-
They seemed to be walking around aimlessly, just as the rest of the participants. This sounded like more of a mental riddle to fix by themselves, instead of an actual clue that was hidden somewhere. Bucky had the idea to look around grandpa Theodore’s old room in search for something emotional, although that didn’t sound like Nana, but she had told them to look for the meaning behind it all- she could have meant the meaning of the hunt. When Sam’s brain clicked, he grabbed Bucky’s arm to stop him.
"I got an idea." He announced.
Bucky glanced down at his arm, which was still being held by Sam.
"What're you thinking?" he raised an eyebrow.
"I'm guessing you guys have a library?"
Bucky nodded, "Smart."
Once they found the library, they were submerged in stillness. They shut the door so they wouldn’t give anyone else the same idea, and turned on the lights; the room was probably the calmest one in the entire house. There were high shelves with old books, two dusty reading chairs and a coffee table. Sam figured he wouldn’t mind spending some time there.
"What are we looking for?" James asked in a low voice.
Sam ran his fingers through the shelves for a few seconds, lurking for that one specific piece of literature he had in mind.
“Viktor Frankl.” Sam mumbled, concentrated on his task.
When he found the title, he pulled the book out and offered it to Bucky. Man’s search for meaning, 1946. It was too classical for fancy college men not to have heard of it, but the riddle was a tad too complicated for them. It was as if Nana had expected Sam to guess it first. Bucky caressed the cover, taking in the title and internally understanding the joke. The meaning behind it all. You’ll find it if you search for it.
He let a soft chuckle escape his lips as he opened the book and searched through the pages. Sam leaned in too close, over his shoulder, and Bucky couldn’t help but feel weird at the sensation of Sam’s breath hitting the back of his neck. He didn’t believe it was okay to even notice that sort of thing.
Suddenly, an envelope fell from the book, and Bucky looked back at Sam with amusement.
“That tricky old hag.” He laughed.
-
A/N: I know this wasn’t too exciting lol but it was more of an introduction chapter:/ next part will have your much needed fluff and intensity! Thank you so much for reading xx
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marvinswriting · 4 years ago
Text
stupid social experiment
Disclaimer: there is no logic and this would not happen in real life but its a shrink fic and those are never quite logical are they..... anyway be ready for frustrating levels of inaccuracy, I'm sorry Tw: it's a long fic, a lot happens, there's a bunch. D slur, shots, falling, fainting, extreme fear, the usual
minimal to no mean girls knowledge needed for this fic
This was bound to be stupid as fuck.
Northshore doesn't get picked for anything good.
So this "social experiment" was going to be boring. 
Calling it now.
We don't even know what it's about. Parents know. They signed a bunch of forms.
We don't know who is running it, what they're trying to study, any of it.
If it's just a Here's What You Do episode I'm dropping out of high school.
"Janis!" An arm wraps around my shoulder and I turn to see Damian. 
"Hey," I show him the slip of paper I was handed. "I've been randomly selected for the experiment. Why are they calling it an experiment? What is it?! What are they going to do to me?" I flop against Damian dramatically and he laughs.
"Jan, your mom signed off on whatever it's about. I'm sure you're fine."
"Well, I hope so. Because they want me in the library right now."
Damian tsks. "I'll either see you at lunch or the next period if it takes too long."
I nod. "Right."
Damian squeezes my shoulder before breaking away, heading to the lunchroom. "Love you!"
"Love you too." I mumble, making way to the library.
There's a teacher outside, keeping watch, and all windows to the libraries are covered.
A pit forms in my stomach.
Whats this experiment about that requires so much secrecy.
"Hello, Janis." The teacher nods. She's a short English teacher I had last year. 
Hated her, she never let Damian and I sit together.
"The library is closed today, I'm sorry."
"I'm here for the-" My voice falters as I lift the paper. "Thing."
She nods, opening the door.
The library is filled with students and people I've never seen before. There's a cloth creating a barrier from the entrance to the library and the back, with students and workers walking in and out.
"Hey, love!" There is a lady at the main desk who I've never seen before. Definitely not a librarian. "Can I get you checked in?"
"Yeah, Uh- what's this all about?"
"Surprise." The lady says with a wink. "Name?"
"Janis, Sarkisian. S-A-R-K-I-S-I-A-N."
"Alrighty, Janis. Height and grade?"
Height and grade?!
Why hight?
"I- uh, senior. And 5'10?"
"Lovely. You can go right back and sit in one of those chairs while you wait."
I frown but walk over to the clump of chairs anyway.
Aaron Samuels sat in one of the chairs to the far right. He gave me a slight nod before looking away.
Whatever.
Better than how most people treated space dyke.
The curtain behind me pulled back revealing Regina Geroge walking through.
 I instantly looked to the ground, avoiding all eye contact.
Revenge party was last year. Yeah, we both apologized, but that didn't make us friends.
Nowhere near, actually. 
"Coco, Sarkisian, and Samuels?" A professional doctor person pulled back the curtain, calling names off a clipboard. A couple of us got up, walking back.
My heart was pounding out of anxiety and curiosity.
I hated being on camera. Were they gonna interview me?
"Please sit down for your shots?"
"Our what?" Aaron asked.
"You mean a photo, right?" Somebody called from behind me.
"No, like the quick pinch with a needle. You may each take a seat."
I froze.
No.
Nope.
Nu-uh.
"I don't do- needles." I say, stepping backward.
The doctor sighed. "A fear of needles is normal, I'll make it quick."
Why do we need shots for a social experiment?
"You can find somebody else." I say, shaking my head. "I'm not kidding. I kicked a nurse once."
The doctor just chuckled, guiding me to a chair. "Relax, deep breaths, it won't be too bad."
I wanted to scream and cry, thrash around because what the fuck has my mom signed me up for- but I can't do that in the fucking high school library.
Instead, I let the "doctor" clean my arm, scrunching my eyes tight and cringing.
I flinch when I feel a pinch in my arm, followed by a quick tap with a bandaid.
"All done. See? Not so bad."
Debatable.
"What was that?" I ask, getting up.
The doctor smiled. "All part of the social experiment."
Don't I have the right to fucking know what's just been injected into me?
Did I just get a heroin addiction?
Shane Madej’s fears seem a lot more relevant now.
The doctor hands me a lollipop. "Only for the best patients."
I frown, but take it anyway.
One weird social experiment.
-
"A shot?" 
"A shot."
Janis had just joined Damian and I at the lunch table, telling us about the social experiment.
"They gave me a butterscotch lollipop. I don't even like butterscotch!" Janis whined. "Want it, Cady?"
I shake my head. "I'm good."
"Damian?"
The boy takes the lollipop without hesitation. "But you hate shots."
"I do. I'm surprised I didn't puke."
"No kicking the nurse?"
"No."
"This is good!" Damian grinned. "A big step."
"There's gotta be a law about injecting people with random needles and not telling them." I say.
Janis just shook her head. "You would think so."
-
"Regina!" Gretchen ran up to me. "Any updates about that shot you got?"
I shrug. "No Gretch. And it's been a week. I doubt anything is going to happen."
I've been going into the library every day to get my vitals rechecked. 
No changes.
Some social experiment.
Gretchen nodded. "Well then if you're up for it, maybe we could throw a party this weekend?"
I shrugged. "Let's ask Karen about it at lunch."
Gretchen nodded, typing away in her phone. "Let's go to the cafeteria."
I nod, turning on my heels and stepping away from the locker. 
My limbs feel funny, like tv static all over.
Not painful and nowhere near enough to be concerning, but- odd.
-
"Aaron, you need to pay attention." I scold. 
"Cady, my head hurts. Can we take a small break." Aaron shakes his head. "I don't know what's up with me." It's Aaron and I's lunch period and while Aaron is great, I would much rather spend it with Janis and Damian right now.
I sigh. "Sure. Let me know when you feel better." 
Aaron nods, taking a sip of his water. I look back down to my notes trying to prepare what to do next.
I can hear Aaron place his water bottle back down, letting out a pitiful moan.
"Aaron, if you really feel sick maybe it's best you go ho-" I look up but Aaron isn't there anymore. "Aaron?"
-
Damian and I walked through the halls idly. It was almost the end of our lunch period and we didn't really have anywhere to be. 
"Dame, my head is pounding." I groan. 
Everything felt off. It started small- a minor headache that formed last period, but now everything hurt. I felt nauseous, my head may explode, my limbs felt heavy, and my vision was swarming.
Damian took no pity in me. "This is what three all-nighters in a row does to you Jan. I love you and I wish I could help, you should have gone to bed last night when I told you too."
"Something tells me this isn't lack of sleep." I mumble, looking down. My vision had fully become a swarm of grey haze.
"You got sick because of a shity immune system because of lack of sleep."
He doesn't believe me. 
I mean, he shouldn't.
He's right, I have a history of bad habits getting me sick.
But,
"Damian that's not-" I take a shuddering breath and stop walking. My entire body feels numb and broken. "That's not it."
Was this death?
It ached to the point of sharp pain.
"C'mon Jan." I could faintly hear Damian keep walking over a harsh ringing in my ears.
"I- ah-"
My knees were buckling, everything burned. Why does it burn? 
I could vaguely feel my knees hit the cold tile before I felt nothing.
Not that it lasted long.
Or maybe it did.
I fucking passed out.
My vision was blurry as I peered down at the tile. The ring in my ear was fading but my body still had an overall ache. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to lift my head. 
I just wanted to lay back down.
But- 
The bell was gonna ring and seeing space dyke just lying on her stomach probably was just gonna get me teased.
I sit up, ignoring the way my stomach twists and look up-
-what the fuck?
What the fuck what the fuck what the fresh ever-loving godsend of a fuck?
Even through the blurry haze covering my vision, I could tell something was wrong.
The lockers in front of me were big.
Not big, fucking huge.
The other set of lockers I had pushed myself against were the same. The tiles underneath me weren't an exception. 
The entire hallway was hu-
No.
I've seen the movies.
I know where this goes.
I'm just really small.
Somehow- that realization didn't sit much better with me.
My stomach twists again as I look down.
Maybe I was still passed out?
Was this a weird hallucination?
Something deep down told me that wasn't the case.
"Janis?"
I freeze. 
My breath feels caught in my throat.
I know that voice.
It's loud and echoes through the halls, but I know that voice.
I don't raise my head, I don't think I can physically bring myself to move, to react, to respond. 
I'm frozen. Maybe it's fear, maybe its denial that this is actually happening.
From my peripheral vision, I can see sneakers a couple feet away.
Giant fucking sneakers.
Too close.
Too big.
I know who owns a pair like that.
I force myself to look up slowly, ignoring the dull thump in my head.
Damian stood a little further down the hall at his full height.
How I should be right now.
He looked down at me with wide eyes, probably having the same moment I'm having. 
Everything is so big.
Except for me.
Oh god.
My throat is dry and if feels like air isn't properly getting to my lungs as it should. 
Damian, my best friend, who was tall normally, now quite literally towered over me. 
Neither of us said anything.
Neither of us moved.
My brain was still trying to process the situation.
This had to be a weird fucking dream.
Right?
Damian was right, I need more sleep, so my body forced shut down and now I've got a nightmare.
Right?
My mind thinks back to the shot I got Monday. Five days later and nothing changed- until now.
Was this-
Was this part of the experiment?
"Hey, Jan?" Damian's voice is soft, but that doesn't make it quiet.
To me, at least.
"Are you okay?"
I don't respond. I can't bring myself to. I'm frozen.
I'm tiny.
I've been shrunken and now I'm in the middle of a giant ass high school hallway, unmoving.
What the fuck?
What the fuck.
"The bell is gonna ring. You can't just sit there." Damian talks again.
I give a small nod, not really paying attention.
How could I? 
I was four inches tall- at most.
The world that was normally just scary was now big and scary.
I look back down to the floor underneath me. I can't look up, I don't want to look up.
This was just a weird fucking dream.
It had to be.
"Jan-" Damian's voice is full of worry.
My total silence probably isn't helping.
There's movement out of the corner of my eye as Damian steps forward.
"No!" 
My head snaps up as I push myself back.
Damian freezes, visibly surprised by the sudden outbursts.
"Please. Just- not yet. I-" I look at my hand that pressed onto the ground. It's so small compared to the pattern in the tile. 
I'm so small.
I bite my lip, trying not to cry. It'd be stupid to cry. Crying won't fucking fix this.
"I'm sorry." I whisper. I know Damian can't hear it. I don't look back at him. 
I don't want to see the hurt and worry on his face.
Stupid fucking social experiment.
Damian knelt down but it didn't help. 
Everything was so big. 
What the fuck. 
"Jan?" His voice was softer this time. "You okay?" 
I gazed up at him, he looked as scared as I felt. But- so tall. 
"I'm-" My voice trails off. What do you say in this circumstance? 
The hell if I were to know. Damian frowns. 
"The bell is gonna ring, Janis. We gotta get you somewhere."
I push myself further against the wall. 
I knew what he was implying.
I'd have to move.
He'd have to pick me up.
This was Damian. He wouldn't hurt me. 
But I'm so small. 
What if something happened? 
What if I fell? 
"Janis," I can hear the stress in Damian's voice. "I'm not gonna touch you unless you say okay. But- we're running out of time here."
I rub my hands up and down my fishnets nervously. "O-okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah." I push myself off the locker, taking a deep breath.
It's just Damian, it's just Damian, it's just Damian.
Damian leans forward slowly, like he was scared to set me off again. 
Everything about seeing a giant hand reach for me set off so many alarm bells in my head but I tried not to let it show.
It's just Damian, it's just Damian, it's just Damian.
I force myself to look away as his hand gently scoops me up from behind.
Woah.
That's-
-different.
Damian sits back on his heels, bringing his other hand to cup underneath me. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah, I- thanks." 
I've held Damian's hand before, quite often actually. But I've never been held in Damian's hand before.
It was weird.
Like, when he moved, my body felt a little delayed. I was hyper-aware of the slightest shifts. 
"I'm gonna get up now." Damian warns me. 
He shifts me gently into one hand and holds it closer to his chest as he sits up.
I grab onto his fingers at the sudden change in altitude. It was only a couple feet but it left me a little nauseated. 
Damian freezes. "You okay?"
"Yeah, I'm good. Sorry just-"
"Don't apologize." Damian says softly.
I know he's scared, maybe even as terrified as me. But I'm not sure how to comfort him. 
I fit in his hand. 
I can hardly do much.
"I'm gonna find an empty classroom, okay?"
"Alright." I don't let go of his finger as he begins walking, pulling me closer. 
-
"Regina, please calm down"
"Calm down?! Gretchen did you just tell me to calm down?! I am the size of a Crayola Crayon and your gonna tell me to calm the fuck down?!"
Gretchen blinked at me, her mouth agape.
I groaned, placing my head in my hands. One minute I'm sitting at my lunch table complaining of a headache, the next I'm passed out on the lunch table.
"You're kinda cute at this size. Like a doll." Karen smiled. 
"Well, I'm not supposed to be a doll, Karen!"
I didn't seem to be the only person in the cafeteria having this issue. The entire room was just general panic all around.
"Regina, I know your upset but please don't stand so close to the edge of the table-" 
I look back to Gretchen just in time to see a hand reach for me.
"Stop!" I hold my hands out defensively, taking like seven steps backward. 
Gretchen's hand falls back into her lap and she stares at me wide-eyed. "Regina I'm sorry, I just-"
"I don't need your help." I say through gritted teeth. 
I feel pathetic for getting freaked over a hand. Gretchen's hand no less.
There were tears in my eyes and my heart was pounding. 
This is embarrassing.
"Are you crying?"
"No, Karen. I'm not."
"Gretchen, I think she's crying."
I can't help but laugh at the blonde in front of me. It's a short, bitter laugh, but it's a laugh.
Karen seems to take this as a win as she hums contently, turning back to her phone.
Gretchen is staring at the hand in her lap and I feel a wave of guilt wash over me. 
It's not her fault I freaked out.
I look down at my body.
Tiny.
There's no way I'm traveling around on my own.
I'm gonna need Gretchen and Karen. 
I can't keep yelling at them.
I wipe the tears away from my eyes, stepping forward. 
"Hey, Gretch?"
"Yeah?" She doesn't look away from her hand. 
"I'm sorry for uh- lashing out. It wasn't your fault."
Gretchen looks up at me like she's never heard an apology before. Probably not from me at least.
Maybe it's selfish to only apologize when it benefits me. It probably is. But-
I've got bigger worries than my moral compass right now.
There's a crackling of the intercom, a lot louder than I ever remember it being. 
"The whole school to the gymnasium, asap."
"Do you think that has to do with whatever just- happened?" Gretchen motions vaguely to my small form.
"The hell if I know. Just pick me up and let's go."
Gretchen hesitates. "Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you or anything I-"
"Gretchen. I can't walk there myself."
"Right."
-
I pushed carefully through the crowds of students in the hall, extremely mindful of Aaron in my hands. 
It seems we weren't the only ones with this issue as I passed all my classmates, a couple of them also holding tiny peers.
There's a group of football jocks all traveling in a pack. "Glen Coco coming through." They yelled. 
I caught a glimpse into the center of their group and sure enough, Glen Coco sat in one of his bigger friend's hands.
"Cady!"
I turn around to see Damian coming over. "Thank god you're okay."
I nod. "Yeah, where's Janis?"
"Hey." 
I blink in disbelief at the small girl cupped in Damian's hands. She looked like she was gripping onto his pointer finger like her life depended on it.
How many students were affected?!
I frown. "I'm so sorry, Janis."
"Yeah, me too." She sighs. "Is that Aaron?!"
"Yeah." He calls from my hands. I lift him up more with a smile.
"Studying gone wrong."
Damian just shakes his head. "We were in the hallways."
We continue walking into the gymnasium. The bleachers are already pulled out and there is a man in a white coat standing at a podium. I can feel Aaron tense up in my hands as Damian and I take seats near the relative front. 
"You recognize him?" I ask. 
Aaron says something, but I can't hear him over the crowd around us.
"Hold on, Aaron." I shift my hands, bringing him up to my shoulder. "I can bearly hear you."
"Oh," He climbs on, gripping the shirt underneath him. I'm careful to remain deathly still as he sits.
That was one of the doctors who were giving shots."
I nod. "So this whole thing is related to the shrinking."
I look over to Janis, who Damian held protectively close to him. The poor girl seemed terrified and to be honest, I would be too.
The gymnasium was crowded and unnerving at my size. I can't imagine how she and Aaron feel.
I wish I could help more but everyone seemed equally at a loss of the situation.
"Janis?"
She was staring out at nothing, totally out of it.
"Hey, Jan, Cady's talking to you." Damian nudged her gently.
She blinked, shaking her head before turning to me. "You okay?" I ask.
"It's really loud," Janis says. I can tell shes yelling just to get her voice to travel so I nod instead of keeping the conversation going. 
The man-who-shot-my-friends-doctor-person stepped up to the podium, raising his hands to call for silence.
When the school had settled down, he began. I didn't pay much attention. He basically gave us his name and a vague description of his job. "Studying how society reacts to changes and new environments". He said he was excited to work with us, he had never taken his studies to a highschool. 
Basically, shrinking half the school was a change. A big one if you asked me. And they wanted to see how a much of immature teenagers react.
Don't scientists have better things to be doing?
Like curing cancer?
I felt hyper-aware of Aaron balancing carefully on my shoulder as the scientist talked. 
"It is odd that the results took a week to show." 
Aaron scoffed. He was so close to my ear that I could hear him clearly. 
"With that being said, it will be a couple of days before we've got a reverse and there's no saying how long it will be for it to kick in." 
"How long are you thinking?" A student from beside me said. 
"A week. At least." 
"A least?!" I behind me to see a small Regina rushed to the edge of Gretchen's hand, ignoring the yell Gretchen gave, curling her fingers up. "I'm gonna be like this for a fucking week?" 
I looked at Damian next to me. Janis sunk low into his hands, tears in her eyes. My heart broke slightly.
I wish I could pull her into a hug and help like she has done so many times for me.
The most scient continued. "You are all expected to continue attending class as usual. We will keep the selected student updated and-"
"Wait! How are they expected to get to class?"
"Yeah!"
"This sounds dangerous."
I nodded along to the last one. It did.
The scientist sighed. "That is for you to figure out. Now-"
-
"This is stupid. So fucking stupid." I frown. 
Damian looked down at me. "Yeah."
He was walking to his car with Cady (and Aaron and me). Damian normally drove Cady and I home but now I really needed the help.
"I'm a high school student! I should be worrying about my next chemistry exam. Not the fact that I'm three and a half inches tall."
Aaron made a noise of agreement from where he clung to Cady's shoulder.
Bold moves, dude.
I'll stay here.
Damian shifted me into one hand as he opened his car door.
"How are we gonna do this?" He mumbled, sitting down.
We were all silent for a bit.
"I could hold both of them?" Cady offered as she shifted Aaron into her hands.
"Jan, you okay with that?" Damian asked.
I trusted Cady. I really did. In the short amount of time I got to know her, she was quick to become an important person in my life.
But I barely felt comfortable with Damian right now. And it's Damian.
Still, despite all my inner turmoil, I nodded. "Yeah."
Damian gives me a look and I know he can see right through my semi brave face. But he doesn't push.
"Alright." He leans over, carefully depositing me next to Aaron and starting the car. "Aaron, are you going with Cady?"
"Yeah."
To have somebody my (new) size sitting next to me felt oddly confronting. 
Cady's hands weren't as warm as Damian's, but I knew that before. 
It was weird, to sit in a hand I used to be able to hold.
When I closed my eyes and sat shoulder to shoulder with Aaron, I could almost feel like this was normal.
-
"So, should I cancel the party this weekend?" Gretchen asked.
Karen frowned. "Not the party!"
"No, Gretchen. I may be tiny but my house fucking isn't."
"Regina, that sounds dangerous."
I scoff. "And?"
"What if you get hurt? What if any tiny gets hurt?"
"What's your point, Gretchen? If you've already decided you're gonna cancel my party, then why bother asking me?"
I don't miss the way Gretchen flinches back.
Part of me felt bad. The other part felt smug. Like even at my size, I can still call shots. I'm still in charge.
"I was just looking out for you." Gretchen says sadly.
Well, the smug feeling didn't last long.
I take a deep breath. "Then let's just reschedule for next week. I should be back by then, right?"
Gretchen gives a soft smile. "Right."
-
My house wasn't big. Just me and my mom, sometimes Damian. 
But holy fuck was it big right now.
Damian shut the front door behind him, bringing both hands underneath me.
"Ms. Sarkisian? Are you home?"
Obviously, Damian was with me. We were always together before and well- we had to be now.
At least for me.
"Is that Damian?" A familiar voice calls from the kitchen. "Janis isn't here hon, I'm sorry." 
Damian laughs nervously, holding me closer to his chest. "Actually-"
My mom emerged from the kitchen with a smile. "I thought she was coming home with you-"
Her eyes fall to Damian's hands and I wave awkwardly. 
"Oh." 
I hate having everyone's eyes on me, I hate having everyone touching me and holding me, I just hate being small in general.
I was slowly getting used to Damian holding me, and Cady wasn't that bad- 
but I wasn't ready for more.
So when my mom steps forward, I lean back into Damian's hand, hoping she'll get the hint.
She doesn't, but Damian does. He tips his hand up a bit so I fall with my back to his chest, his fingers curled over me. 
When my mom catches on, she steps back again, giving us space. "It actually worked." Her voice is filled with humor and disbelief.
"Huh?" Of course, my mom knew what she was signing me up for. But- part of me had hoped she just missed the fine print or something.
"I didn't think it would work. Especially as it got closer to the end of the week."
"Mom- you knew?"
"Well, yeah."
I push myself further against Damian. "You would do this, to your own daughter."
"It's for science! You know, I wanted to be a scientist once when I was little."
"Then you become three inches tall for science!" I don't bother to hide the anger in my voice.
I feel-
I don't know how I feel.
I don't know what to feel.
Scared? Mad? Betrayed? Shocked?
I'm terrified. And it's my mom's fault.
My mom steps backward at my sudden outburst. "Janis-"
"No." I cut her off bitterly. "We can talk later. I just- I need time. To calm down."
She nods sadly.
The worst part of it all?
My own mother can't seem to grasp why this is wrong.
She turns on her heels, going back to whatever she was doing before.
"Damian?" I ask, sinking down.
"Yeah?"
"Your house?"
"Of course."
-
"Regina, are you feeling okay?" Gretchen asked.
I turn, looking up at her. It felt weird to have to look up all the time now. We were in the Smith household because I wasn't ready to go home yet. I didn't want to face the reality of all this. 
The fact that my own parents signed off.
"Yeah, why?"
Gretchen shrugged. "You've been acting odd. Like- I know the shrinking and you've got a lot on your mind but-" Gretchen rambles trying to validate calling my actions 'odd'. "The point is- I was wondering if you were all good."
"What do you mean when you say odd?" I ask.
Gretchen's face flushed. "Not in a bad way or anything! Just- I don't wanna say nicer because that implies you were nice before but like- less snappy? Like not that that's a bad thing or-"
My jaw slacks a little, but I refuse to let my shock show. 
Was I such a bitch that not yelling for half a day was noticeable?
I haven't yelled in literally six hours but that was enough for Gretchen to pick up on and check on me?
I silently begin to reevaluate my attitude towards my friends as Gretchen continues to ramble about how it wasn't a bad thing and she wasn't trying to offend me.
-
I spent most of my Friday with Aaron. But Saturday nights were for me, Damian, Janis, and whatever movie we felt fit the mood.
And no shrinking was gonna change that. 
So here I say in the Hubbard basement. Damian sat to my right, holding Janis close to his chest as some mindless film played.
I was trying to pay attention to the movie. Like if I concentrated on the bad plot, I wouldn't be worrying about the small girl who literally fit into Damian's hands. The girl who was supposed to be taller than me. The bravest girl I knew, who looked so small and vulnerable that it physically hurt.
No wonder Damian was so worried about her.
I just wanted to help her- but there was nothing I could do. There was no way to help.
So I turn my attention to the movie instead.
"Cady," Damian whispered from next to me.
"Yeah?" I respond, not taking my eyes off the screen.
"Okay first off, lower your voice," Damian whispered his voice laced with rising panic. "Second, look."
I turn to see what's getting Damian so worked up.
Janis had pressed herself against Damian's chest, her eyes closed and her small form peaceful. 
The tense shoulders and fearful eyes she had since the shrink was gone. She looked calm and relaxed, I couldn't help but smile.
"Shes's asleep." I said softly, now understanding why Damian wanted me so quiet.
"What do I do?!" Damian hissed.
I hold back a laugh. "What do you mean? You've fallen asleep on each other plenty of times before. You know what to do."
"But - she's so small." Damian whispered, pressing his hands closer around the girl. 
"And?"
"What if she gets hurt or something?"
"Damian, we're just watching a movie." I point out. "She'll be okay."
"Right."
-
The weekend flew by pretty fast.
Karen and Gretchen stayed over the whole time and they were likely the only reason I haven't died yet. 
The school day- now that's a different story.
It was only lunchtime on Monday and I was ready to give it all up and take a nap.
"Regina, you okay?" Gretchen asked. 
"Yeah, just- tired."
I was trying to snap less but I also didn't have the energy in me��to snap. 
"You might be better if you ate something," Gretchen said.
"Like what?"
"A french fry." Karen said, showing her tray forward a bit.
-
"Janis. That is a full Dorito."
"Okay, and?"
"There are smaller, broken pieces in the bag."
"I'm aware."
I watch with a smile as my friends maneuver around this new normal. Specifically, lunch, during this new normal. 
"Cady, tell Damian I can eat an entire Dorito if I want to eat an entire Dorito."
I lean back. "Don't drag me into this. You can try and eat an entire Dorito. Doesn't mean you'll be successful."
Janis scoffs. "Nobody has faith in me."
"It's a full Dorito, Janis." Aaron grins from next to her. "Even if you could eat it, do you think this period is enough time? It's gonna go stale before you can finish it."
"Dude, how long does it take you to eat a Dorito? I have forty-five minutes." Janis shoots back.
I watched with amusement as Janis held the chip, trying to examine the best way to go about her snack. 
Damian just shook his head and went back to eating. "You're crazy Janis Sarkisian."
"And you're jealous you can't eat a giant Dorito, Damian Hubbard."
-
It was Tuesday. 
The scientist had been keeping Northshore updated and we should be back to normal by Friday.
Friday was so far away. 
I was just lucky Damian had so many classes with me. 
It never got any less weird, sitting on his desk instead of next to his desk. 
But- it could be worse.
I hadn't talked to my mom yet.
I know I'm gonna break down in tears when I do.
It can wait till Friday when I'm back to normal.
I mean-
-she didn't bother to reach out.
So I won't either. 
Damian and I were in study hall in the very back of the library. 
It had reopened once all the equipment was pulled out.
It will probably reclose for Friday.
But its only fucking Tuesday.
I look up at Damian, whos working on stuff for other classes- y'know, like most students do in study hall. 
Damian had been so understanding of my initial freakout. And even now- when I still freak the fuck out.
Did it get annoying having to carry me everywhere?
I already thought I was pretty annoying.
Space Dyke, Northshore's lesbian with enough trama for four. 
I bet being so dependent suddenly wouldn't help my case.
But what could I do?
I couldn't just walk away and give him a break.
I mean-
I could stay home.
But then I'd have to face mom.
Alone.
But Damian deserved the break.
I dunno.
I don't want him to hate me after this week.
There's movement in front of me as I look up to see Cady sit down.
"Hey, guys!" She smiles.
"Hi!" I grin, shoving all my worries down. A talk with Cady was the perfect way to get my mind off things. "Where's Aaron?" I ask when I notice he isn't on her shoulder.
 "Aaron is with some soccer buddies. I love him- I really do, but I just needed a break."
Oh.
I look back to Damian, who just smiled before turning back to his work.
My heart sank. 
I mean- he didn't verbally agree but- I'm right here, why would he?
If Cady feels that way- Damian probably does too.
I look down at my lap in a vain attempt to hide the tears that burned at the corner of my eyes.
I don't want to lose Damian because I'm too fucking small to do anything myself.
I move closer to the edge of the table as Cady starts unpacking her books.
I don't want to take up too much room just because I can't sit on a chair like a normal person.
Cady and Damian talk quietly to each other but I only half listen. 
The library is pretty crowded for a study hall period and I'm 99% sure more of these kids weren't in study hall. 
A lot of students were taking advantage of this week to skip saying their smaller friends needed their help.
And hey- I'm not gonna sit here and say that's not why Damian has skipped acting class to sit with me in art the past few days- because he has. Honestly, add it to the book about why he hates me.
Damian loves his acting class. 
There's a group of freshmen messing around a table over. I'm on the side of the table opposite from them, but I still eye them worriedly. All I need is for the right book to go flying and I'm done for. 
I can feel Damian looking at me before I even lookup.
"You okay, Jan?"
"Yeah. Just tired." I look at him and pray from this size he can't tell that my eyes are red.
Damian clearly doesn't buy it. He's silent for a bit as he studies me carefully before speaking. "I love you." He says with a smile.
My face flushes. To this day, the random reminders still catch me off guard. Damian always seems to know when I need to hear it. 
"I love you too." I smile.
Cady awes softly and I feel my face heat up more. 
"It's not aw."
"It really is." Cady grins.
Before I can make a comeback, one of the freshmen from the other table, stumbles backward into our desk. The platform I'm sitting on jolts and my hands shoot backwards to catch myself. Only-
There's no desk.
I gasp, as gravity drags me over the edge of the table.
The fall itself was a lot quicker then I expected. My brain hadn't even properly caught up to what had just happened until-
I land on my side, my face grazing against the rough carpeted library floor. 
Pain shoots through my arm and my cheek feels hot.
I let out a staggered gasp, screwing my eyes shut.
Everything managed to be burning hot yet ice-cold at the same time. My entire side was enveloped in pain.
It hurt so bad.
My lungs wouldn't work.
I've had the wind knocked out of me before.
But this was so much worse.
I fell off a desk. A two and a half foot drop should not cause me this much pain.
But I'm small.
And fragile.
And probably annoying.
A hand gently scoops me up as I curl in on myself more.
I already have a pretty good idea of who it is but I don't want to open my eyes and deal with the reality of the situation.
I'm tiny.
I fell off a desk.
And now I'm in extreme pain.
So much for not worrying Damian, huh.
"Jan?" 
I don't respond.
My face stings. Rug Burn but make it the entire side of your face.
I couldn't tell if it was bleeding or an open wound, but I could tell it was painful as fuck.
"Janis?" Damian tries again. I can hear the fear in his voice, the panic he's trying not to let show.
Because of me.
I roll onto my back and open my eyes.
Damian has his hands resting on the desk and both him and Cady were peering down at me worriedly.
I could tell they were trying to make sure I was okay while still giving me my space but-
it was too much.
"I fell." I say softly.
"Yeah. You did." Cady agrees sadly. "Are you okay?"
"It hurts." I break away from their gazes. The utter heartbreak and the way Damian clearly took it personally was too much.
"I'm so sorry, Jan." 
"It's not your fault." I force myself into a sitting position, ignoring the way half my body aches or the way each breath I took felt shallow and empty. 
"You fell," Damian said softly, a dejected look on his face. "You got hurt. I watched you just fall. Oh my god-" Damian's hand slips out from underneath me, as I landed gently on the center of the table. "I need to go grab water. I'll be back." 
I watch silently as Damian gets up and walks away before I turn around to face Cady.
"Is he-"
"He'll be okay," She says softly, her eyes trailing Damian out of the room. "Are you okay?"
"Just shaken up, I guess," I say, my hand absentmindedly touching the side of my face.
"I think we all are." Cady frowns.
I look to the abandons work Damian was doing before this. "Why did Damian take it so personally?"
Cady signed. "This week with the 'social experiment' has been kinda hard on everyone. We're all a little stressed and- while Damian and I may not know what you're going through, we also have some new changes to adapt to. Like carrying around your best friend. That's a lot of pressure and trust, a literal life in your hands. He just wants to make sure you're okay. To see you fall and get hurt- well, that's just what he was trying to prevent. If it were Aaron that fell, I'd probably react the same. He'll be fine. Just give him time to get water and calm down."
I nod, looking at the table underneath me. Damian is upset, and it's my fault. 
Add that to the many reasons he will hate me after this week.
-
This week is dragging by for me, and I wasn't one of the people shrunk. I can only imagine how Aaron or Janis feel right now. Every morning the student affected by the experiment had to go into the nurse's office for vital checks which meant Damian and I spent most of our time before the official start of the school day waiting outside the nurse's office. 
A lot of students waited outside for their friends as well but Damian and I didn't interact with them.
Until today at least.
"Cady?"
I turn around to see Gretchen Weiners walking over.
"Hey!" I smile. "What's up?"
"My stress levels." Damian mumbles from behind me.
Gretchen grins. "I think everyone waiting in this hallway can relate. I assume Damian is here for Janis but what about you Cady? Do you both watch her or-"
"I'm waiting for Aaron actually."
Gretchen wiggles her eyebrows suggestively and I quickly raise my hands in defense.
"No- Aaron and I are just friends. Nothing more."
Gretchen deflates with a sigh. "Well, that's boring. Anybody else you're looking for? Maybe another tiny you hang out with a bunch?"
I feel my face flush as I wave my hand. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"You, Cady Heron, are a terrible liar." Gretchen winks before turning away. "Bye you two!"
"She's right you know," Damian says once Gretchen is out of earshot. "You are a god awful liar."
"I don't want to talk about this anymore." I huff, pulling out my phone. "I'm here for Aaron. That's it."
-
The hallway was never a favorite of mine. I mean, when you're in eighth grade and can't walk two feet without homophobic slurs being thrown at you- 
-you learn to hate it.
But this week has turned my hatred for the hallway into a fear of the hallway. The crowds and loud voices that were nothing more than an annoyance before post as an actual threat now. The whole falling incident in the library yesterday just solidified my fears.
I could get hurt so easily at this size. 
In the beginning of the week, everyone was careful. The shrink still hadn't fully set in for most people, the fact that this was reality wasn't solidified in our heads. 
But people were more reckless now. It was Wednesday, the reality of the situation had set in. The hallways were back to their normal loud and crowded state. 
I pressed myself closer to Damian as he passed through a clump of students.
Unlike Aaron, who pretty quickly decided he preferred traveling by shoulder, I stayed in Damian's hands. Too many things could go wrong any other way. I stiffen every time I watch Aaron almost tip over when Cady isn't even walking.
No thanks.
All the locker slams and loud voices created a ringing in my ears and the big groups just made me cringe.
I hated crowds before.
And that's when I wasn't three and a half inches tall. 
"You okay, Janis?" Damian asked bringing his hands up more.
"Yeah, it's just- it's overwhelming." 
Damian nods. He doesn't understand but- he's trying.
I appreciate it. A lot. He's been so patient during my freakouts. He's so understanding when I hesitate to do the little things, like get picked up. He really is trying.
A locker slams a couple feet away and I instinctively flinch. All the noise is making my head hurt and I just want to go home.
Not home with Damian to the Hubbard's.
My home.
At my full height.
Where I can do things for myself.
Where I'm not in constant danger and a stressor to everyone who cares.
My eyes burn and I look down, rubbing my eyes in hope to stop the tears before they can even fall.
I'm not going to start crying in the middle of the school hallway.
"Janis?"
Of course, Damian caught on to my mood. Why wouldn't he? Why would I just give him a break where he won't constantly worrying about me? 
"I'm really fine. I swear. It's tits, dude. Just overwhelmed." 
Damian shoots a quick glance at me before looking up again- he is still walking through the halls after all. "I'm-" Damian hesitates. "I'm gonna try something, okay? Just tell me if it's any better or totally worse."
"Huh?"
Damian doesn't explain as he suddenly lifts his hand. I instantly stiffen as I'm hit with slight vertigo, things like this never get any less weird. 
What is he doing?! He's moving in the halls why is he- What if I fall or get hurt or-
My inner turmoil is broken as Damian tips his hand and I fall backwards-
-into a pocket?
I'm disoriented as I quickly pull myself up in confusion.
I was in the chest pocket of Damian's denim jacket. He looks down at me. 
"You okay?"
I pause, looking around. "Yeah. I'm good."
It was, new. As were a lot of things this week.
But new didn't mean bad. I don't know what I expected the inside of a pocket to be like, but, it was pretty roomy. And if I ducked fully in, the loud bangs of the hallway were muffled. 
I sunk down as Damian continued walking, satisfied that I was okay. Light streamed through the lip of the pocket, which shifted as Damian walked. Light also filtered gently through the denim fabric, so it wasn't very dark or unsettling. It was the opposite actually. I couldn't see everything going on around me, but it wasn't bad. I wasn't scared not to be aware of my surroundings. The overall presence of Damian was a welcoming comfort amongst the muted sounds of outside. 
And-
Holy shit.
I've fallen asleep laying with Damian before. I've had my head on his chest before, I know what his heartbeat sounds like.
But from here it's so loud and clear.  It's directly next to me and I can almost feel it in my body. 
I'm really small enough to fit in a fucking pocket, huh.
The sounds of the hallway outside fade and I pop my head up. We've reached our next class.
Damian sits at his desk and I allow myself to be scooped up carefully. 
"Were the hallways better now?"
I grin. "Dude- you have a loud fucking heartbeat."
-
"Hey, Gretchen?" I roll the pencil in front of me back and forth, unable to look up and meet Gretchen's eyes. 
"Yeah, Regina?"
I take a deep breath, looking up. "Was- am I a bad friend?"
Gretchen leans back in her chair, tilting her head. "What do you mean?"
I already want out of this conversation. Emotions are gross and I hate it here. But- Gretchen deserves this talk. She has done so much for me this week and she's always done so much for me. Even when I wasn't tiny, Gretchen was there if I ever needed her. No hesitation and at any hour. I took advantage of that for so long. 
"This week, when I stopped yelling and being bossy and- basically when I stopped being a bitch, you noticed. That means in the past I had had to have been such an asshole that I go one day without snapping and it's such a difference that you pick up on it. So like-" I shrug, looking back at the pencil in front of me. "Sorry, I guess. For being a big bitch."
I never thought I'd be pouring my feelings to my friend in study hall when I'm under four inches tall and sitting on a desk. 
But I also never thought I'd be under four inches tall in general.
"Regina," Gretchen pauses, at a loss. Clearly, she wasn't expecting an apology.
I don't know if that makes me feel any better about my past actions.
"This week helps me realize that I really took advantage of how much you care about me," I explain. "I don't know what I would do without you, Gretchen. Karen too. But- you were there the most this week. Even after all I've done is been a bitch. So, I'm sorry for being a bitch. And thank you for uh- caring."
Gretchen smiles. "Of course, Regina. You're my best friend. And you aren't always 'bitchy'," She does air quotes with a grin. "Thank you for apologizing though. It means a lot."
I smile sheepishly, turning my attention back to the pencil as I begin to roll it again. "Yeah well, an apology was overdue."
-
"Janis, why do I get the feeling this is a disaster waiting to happen?" Damian asks from where he sat behind me. The obvious amusement in his voice is not lost on me.
"Because, it probably is," I answer simply. 
It was Thursday and to say I was falling behind in art was an understatement. I needed to do something if I wanted a piece to enter into the next art show. Besides, the art was already sketched onto the canvas I just had to start applying paint.
How bad could this be?
I had has Damian layout paints onto a pallet for me as I grabbed the lightest brushes I could find. It was a thin tip which wasn't bad since I was going to be using small brushes for the background anyway. 
I've tried using a pencil at this size before. It's hard- but not impossible. It just feels like a full-body workout and the lines are sloppy. How hard could using a paintbrush be?
Very hard.
For starters, pencil tips are solid. I can rest the pencil on the surface I'm drawing on and use my body weight to move it.
I have to actually hold the paintbrush or else I'll damage the tip.
I hear Damian laugh behind me as I lean backwards a bit too far, trying to find balance with the weight of the paintbrush.
I land on my butt, the brush rolling off my lap and onto the table. 
"Great." I groan, flopping backward.
I can't even hold it long enough to dip it into the paint.
"It was a beautiful attempt." Damian teases. "Maybe next time."
"Shut up." I sit up again, turning to him. "Not all of us can stand full height and pick up a paintbrush easily-" My voice trails off as I get an idea.
"No," Damian leans back in this chair. "I don't know what you're thinking but I'll tell you right now the answer is no. I know that look on your face."
"Please?" I whine. "Damian, I haven't even told you my idea yet."
He huffs. "What is your idea?"
I pick up the paintbrush, stumbly as I hold it out to Damian. "I tell you where the color goes, you do the painting."
Damian shakes his head. "Janis you know I can't paint."
"Just listen to what I say and it will be fine!"
Damian takes the paintbrush from me but lowers it back to the table. "No way. I'm not gonna ruin your work."
"Damian, you wouldn't be ruining it. Please? I know you can do it. C'mon, I need to start the painting before it's too late!" I walk back over to my canvas. "I'd literally point where it goes and we'd be fine. Please? I can't do it myself." 
"You couldn't ask Cady or something? You're talking to the person with the least artistic talent in the world."
I roll my eyes. "You're being dramatic. C'mon, let's start with blue."
"It's your funeral." Damian sigh, picking up the paintbrush.
I grin, walking over to the canvas. "See that section? That whole area is that shade of the blue. And then we can mix the lighter shade for closer to the right."
"I agreed to put color on a canvas- I'm not mixing shades."
"Damian that's literally the easiest part."
"Are you lying or is it actually?"
"Well- for some people it can be."
"Janis."
"Relax! I believe in you. You're gonna do great."
-
"Regina, are you excited?" Karen asked.
"Yeah, I can't wait."
It was finally fucking Friday. By the end of today I'll be back to normal. 
It felt weird.
Like, I was so ready to get back to normal, but this week helped me learn some things about myself and my friendships.
It definitely a week I don't think I'll ever forget.
"Let's go." Gretchen smiles, scooping me up.
-
"Yknow," I laughed nervously. "Maybe staying small isn't such a bad idea- I mean, no needles that way, right?"
"Janis." Damian shook his head. 
Last week I had no warning before the shot. I didn't have time to panic. Yeah, I was scared, but I was mostly confused. Now, I was terrified. 
They were giving the shots and then sending the tinies to the cafeteria to wait for it to sink in. Apparently this time it would only take about ten minutes.
"Damian, did you see what they did to Aaron? The syringes are huge."
"Yes, but the needles aren't. The needles are tiny, it's gonna feel just like a normal shot. The syringes are so big so the doctors can see what they're doing. It's okay."
"What if they miss? What if they inject whatever the fuck into a major vein?! Is that how shots normally work?! I don't even know Damian! I don't want to bleed out and die!"
"You aren't going to bleed out and die." Damian shifts me into one hand. We're next in l- well, I'm next in line.
"Are you sure there's like- no other alternative?"
Damian shook his head. "Nope, Jan. Sorry."
I hug my arms tighter around myself. Damian had taken my jacket from be five minutes ago. This isn't his first time making sure I get my shots. He knew what to do. And typically, he knew how to help.
But nothing was bringing me comfort at this point. I couldn't concentrate on anything other than the giant fucking syringes. Can you blame me? So what the needle is the width of an average needle for my hight? The syringe is still as tall as me. And that's scary as fuck.
Add that on top of the fact that needles, in general, are scary as fuck and I'm not having a good time.
I feel like I may puke as Damian steps forward.
It's my turn.
Oh fuck.
Hell no.
I'd rather stay tiny and die than get a fucking shot.
"Damian-"
"I know, Jan. It's gonna be okay."
It's a different nurse then who gave me the shot last week. "It's okay to be nervous!" She already seems nicer than the other nurse. 
Not that it helps.
"I know it seems scary but it's just like a normal shot. Same ol' pinch."
I force a weak smile. 
Can Damian feel how bad I'm shaking?
I truly don't think this is worth it.
I could simply pass away.
That's a good alternative.
The nurse turns around to a table where her tools are stationed. "Do you want to be set down somewhere or-"
"No," My voice is strained and it's painfully obvious I'm terrified. "I can do it with Damian."
The nurse nods, walking over.
Now, 
I was terrified before.
But when I physically saw the needle?
Game over.
"W-wait-" I step backward ignoring the way Damain's other hand shoots up to make sure I don't fall.
The nurse pauses but doesn't lower the needle or step back. 
"Jan, it's gonna be easier if you get it over with." Damian reminds me gently.
"No- I know I just-" I step back again. "I can't- I-" I was dangerously close to the edge of Damian's hand. There was no more room for me back up. 
I couldn't take my eyes off the needle. The syringe has to be as tall as I was. It-
Fuck.
"Janis," Damian's voice is a familiar stern but soft. "You need to get the shot."
I can't bring myself to respond verbally as I shake my head.
I can't.
Nope.
No.
I-
There's movement out of the corner of my eye as fingers wrap around me, pinning my arms to my sides.
I gasp, snapped out of my thoughts. 
"Damian-"
"Please, Jan, you need to get the shot."
"Put me down!" 
It's a fist. That's what if fucking is.
It's not painful, Damian isn't being hard or anything. But I sure as hell can't move. My bicep is totally exposed and I can't move my arms or turn away or-
The nurse catches onto what Damian's doing and steps closer.
"Damian put me down! Please!"
He doesn't move as the nurse steps closer. A giant cloth is swiped against my arm, cleaning it and I freeze, turning away.
I can't get out of this.
I can't avoid it.
Just like last week, there's a pinching sensation on my arm and I stiffen.
There are tears at the corners of my eyes and I feel childish that it affecting me this much.
Why can't I be normal and just get a shot?
Damian's hand around me opens as the nurse steps away and I sit down in the center of his palm. "I'm sorry," He says holding me up to eye level. "But you know you needed that shot."
"No, I didn't." I cross my arms. 
"Janis." Damian shakes his head with a laugh.
He walked away from the stations and over to the cafe. Inside was just a bunch of tinies placed on tables and honestly, it was a comedic sight. 
"I wanna go over by Aaron," I say, pointing to one of the closer tables.
Damian nods, walking over. 
I slip off his hand as we reach the table and wave. "Bye. Love you. And uh- thanks for helping me with the shot."
Damian laughs. "Of course, Jan. I'll see you soon, okay? I love you."
"So, how did Ms. I hate shots, Janis Sarkisian, deal with the needle?" Aaron asked. 
I huff. "Don't wanna talk about it."
-
The hallway buzzed with nervous energy. I talked idly with Gretchen as we waited, but the undercurrent of excitement wasn't missed by anyone.
It was still technically school hours but all student who helped their smaller classmates this week was outside the cafeteria, waiting eagerly to see their friends at full height again.
I watched as Damian left the cafeteria and I waved him over.
"Janis, as always, was a nuisance at getting her shot."
"Hello to you too." I grin. "Really that bad?"
"It's always that bad. She kicked a nurse once! She's gotten better, I used to have to hold a thirteen-year-old Janis in my lap just for a flu shot, but I guess a syringe the size of you is pretty scary because all improvement went out the fucking window."
Gretchen nodded. "Middle school Regina and Janis had a lot in common. Most notable? Their fear of needles."
"Well, Aaron was fine." I grin.
"Wow, lucky you." Gretchen rolled her eyes. "But- that's over now and hopefully we won't ever have to deal with giant needles ever again."
"Don't jinx us." I laugh.
Damian grins. "Since its technically still the school day I gotta bolt and talk to a teacher really fast but I'm gonna do my best to get back before they're all out. Whenever that is."
"Alright," I wave him off. "Go hurry!"
-
My libs felt weird and my head hurt a bit but I could care less.
I was back.
Full height.
I high fived Aaron as we grinned. 
This entire week was a giant nightmare.
Pun intended.
But it was over.
I'm back.
"Hell yeah!"
We follow the crowd of classmates, all normal height again, out into the hallway.
There were students everywhere hugging and cheering. 
I looked around, unable to find Cady or Damian.
Aaron stepped past me, beelining to his soccer friends.
The dude spent equal time with Cady and his teammates so I'm sure I'll see him talking to Cady later.
There's a thump somewhere to my left and I turn to see all three plastics on the ground in a hug, Regina clearly having taken them down. 
I grin but move on, continuing my own search for my friends.
I know Damian said he needed to talk with a teacher and he may not still be back but-
Cady should be here somewhere.
Despite being back to normal height I can't see over the mass of students.
I step away from the door and start making my way through the crowd in hopes of better luck finding either of my friends.
My eye catches a familiar reddish head of hair through the sea of students.
I grin, pushing through the crowd.
Cady has her back to me as I stand next to her. She's on the phone and doesn't notice.
"No Damian, I don't see either of them. Yes you should hurry, are you kidding me?! Okay, okay, you're right. Bye."
"So, who are we looking for?"
Cady whirls around to face me. "Janis?!"
"Mhm?"
Cady grins, pulling me into a tight hug, pressing her face into my shoulder.
"Nice to see you too, Cads." I laugh, wrapping my arms around her. 
We pull apart and she grins up at me. "I forgot how tall you were."
"Yeah, me too."
As I suspected earlier, Aaron walks over and I step away, giving them space to talk.
I stand by the edge of the hallway, separating myself from the crowd.
I may not be small as fuck anymore but that doesn't make me hate big groups any less. 
"Janis!"
I smile, turning to the sound of my name, already knowing who it is. 
"You took your sweet time." I grin.
Damian doesn't respond he simply pulls me close, his arms wrapping around me.
For spending the whole week with Damian, I felt like I missed him. Or really just the hugs.
I missed the hugs.
I gladly return the hug, laughing as Damian just holds me tighter. 
"I'm glad you're okay." He says softly.
There was so much emotion in that one sentence as Damian squeezes softly.
I pull back a little bringing my hands up to his cheeks. "Hey."
"Hi." He whispers. There are tears in his eyes, matching the ones probably in my own.
"Thank you so much for everything you did this week, man. I love you."
"I love you, too."
I smile softly as Damian presses a kiss to my forehead before pulling away. 
"It feels weird standing here at this size." I confess, looking at the crowd of students in the halls.
"It's gonna take some getting used to after this week." Damian nods.
"Yeah." I agree, turning back to him. My eye catches his denim jacket. I step forward, hooking my pointer finger over the lip of his chest pocket. "Jesus Christ, that's a small fucking pocket."
"Yeah, Jan. It is."
"I was small!"
"Mhm."
"Give me your hand."
Damian complies, and I raise my hand next to his in comparison. I've always had small hands so I'm not surprised when his are bigger than mine. But still- 
I fit in his hand.
"Woah." 
Damian laughs. "Now do you see how I felt?"
"Yeah. That's tits."
"Mm, not the word I would use, but sure, Jan. It was tits."
"I wouldn't do it again tho."
"Thank god." Damian shakes his head. "Stupid social experiment."
"Stupid social experiment." I agree.
dw, janis lived her life at the hubbards and never saw her mother again. as she should. @realmisspolarbear @smallsoysauce @musicallygt @sourishlemons
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fanficshiddles · 5 years ago
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Caught in his web, Chapter 7
‘Kneel.’ Loki demanded.
Chloe found herself sinking down to her knees on front of Loki.
As soon as he’d walked into her room she saw the bulge in his trousers and it was obvious what he was wanting when he started praising her about how luscious her lips looked.
‘Good girl. Now, don’t you dare think about using your teeth. I wouldn’t want to have to mark this pretty face of yours.’ Loki said in warning as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.
Damn. That had been her plan, to hopefully hurt him enough to never trust her again. But she didn’t like the thought of being hit. Which she had a feeling is what he meant he would do.
Loki un-buckled his belt and pulled down his zip, then he took his cock out on front of her. She suddenly realised that she really didn’t want to be down here, about to do this. She was regretting not trying to run away, for obeying so easily. But frankly, after last night, she was pretty scared.
‘Open wide, pet. Who knows, if you do a good job there might be a reward for you.’ Loki purred.
Chloe closed her eyes and did her best to fight back tears, was this really what her life was going to be reduced to? A whore for the city’s most dangerous man? The thought sent horrible chills all the way through her.
Feeling the tip of Loki’s cock against her lips had her eyes flying wide open. She went to try and move away, but Loki reached down and gripped her hair tightly. ‘Ah, ah, ah. This is your first and final warning, if you don’t behave you will not like the consequences.’
Knowing she had no real option, she slowly opened her mouth. Loki took that opportunity and slid his cock straight into her mouth. At first, she did nothing. Just stayed still with her mouth hanging open while Loki fucked her, forcing his way down her throat a bit to make her gag.
‘You better start working, girl. You better please me.’
Chloe started moving her tongue, swirling it around him. She hoped if she did put some effort into it, maybe he would stop trying to choke her and then afterwards would maybe leave her alone for the rest of the day. Even though there was a niggle at the back of her mind that was telling her there was no chance of that happening.
Loki gripped her hair tightly to control her movements while she kept working her tongue on him. Every now and then he thrust his cock down her throat again until she would gag around him, making him moan. He enjoyed the look on her face, tears were falling down her cheeks and she was drooling down her chin. She was picture perfect…
He took his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture, but she had her eyes closed because she was trying to imagine she was elsewhere. Maybe on a drunken night out and giving a quick blowjob to a hot guy out back. Anything was better than reality for her at that moment.
When Loki was ready to cum, he pulled out from her mouth and spilled himself all over her face. Making her look an even hotter mess. Which he snapped another picture of once he was able to think properly after his release.
‘Good girl, Chloe. That was delightful.’ He purred and tucked himself away.
She wiped her face the best she could, but she really was in a sticky mess. Loki straightened his tie out and then stepped in close to her again. ‘Go get cleaned up then come down for lunch.’
Chloe got up to her feet and couldn’t get away from him quick enough. Loki watched with a grin as she scurried away to the bathroom.
When Chloe was washed up and ready, she made her way downstairs. She was getting peckish, but she really didn’t want to spend time with Loki. She’d rather eat lunch with Ethan or Samuel, she thought.
Entering the kitchen, Loki was at the table already. In the same spot as he had been last night. She had flashbacks to when he had her over the table and was fucking her raw. She shivered and tried not to think about it, even though she could still feel the dull ache between her thighs.
Loki flashed her a smile and stood up to greet her. When he went over to her and put his hand to her back, she flinched. But he ignored that and guided her over to the same seat and sat her down, then pushed her chair in for her again.
‘I hope you like soup. It’s perfect for a chilly day like today.’ He sat down again and summoned the maid over with his hand.
The maid came over with bowls of soup for them both and also some fresh bread. Then she disappeared for a moment before returning with tea and coffee options. Chloe reluctantly asked for coffee. While Loki went for tea as usual.
‘How did you find your first night here?’ Loki asked casually.
‘I didn’t have any option. So all things considering, pretty crap.’ She snapped, then busied herself by tucking into the soup, which was really nice. She could certainly get used to the maids cooking, that was one plus.
‘You seemed to be sleeping very well when I checked in on you early this morning.’ Loki said calmly.
Her eyes widened and she glared at him. ‘You were watching me sleep?’ She hissed.
‘You are mine, and you are in my home. I can do whatever I want. You’d do well to remember that.’ He growled at her.
Chloe backed down a little, she said nothing and just looked down at her soup instead. She was starting to wonder whether she could get the maid on side and perhaps poison his dinner later. That would solve all her issues.
It was definitely not difficult for Chloe to forget that she was in Loki’s home, because after lunch he wanted her to join him in the cosier living room. On the way there, they passed by the front door and Chloe decided fuck it and tried to make a run for it.
She got out the door, surprised it wasn’t locked. But didn’t get far down the path when Loki’s security guard grabbed her arm and hauled her back inside to a pissed off looking Loki. He had his arms folded over his chest and an eyebrow raised up.
‘You are not prisoner in my home, Chloe. You can go anywhere in the house, since this is your home now, too. But you are not permitted to step foot outside without my express permission until you can prove to me that you are going to behave. Then, you can come and go as you please with your own escort.’
She never responded to that. She would rather rot in hell than play the role of a happy whore for him.
‘I can give you a good life, Chloe. You will want for nothing. But if you keep misbehaving like this, it’s only going to be more difficult on yourself.’ Loki said, stepping into her space and grabbing her cheeks roughly. She tried to pull away, but he didn’t let up on his grip.
‘You’ve already tried contacting the police once. Do you really think if you get out, that anyone will help you when you mention my name? Or that anyone will believe you? Hmm?’
Chloe’s nostrils were flaring, she was so angry. But she shook her head as best she could with his grip on her face. He then smiled and released her cheeks, instead stroking her hair softly.
‘Good. Now, come on.’ He grabbed her wrist and dragged her through into the living room. She really didn’t like way he was manhandling her, she dreaded to think what he was going to do.
Loki pushed her into the room and shut the door behind him. There was a bolt at the very top of the door, that he was able to reach easily to lock, but Chloe knew there would be no chance she would be able to reach it.
She darted to the other side of the room and moved herself behind the sofa. When she looked at Loki, she frowned as he just strolled over to a mini bar in the corner to pour himself a drink. It seemed he had a mini bar in every damn room of the house.
‘Sit, Chloe.’ He said firmly, his back to her while he poured the drink.
‘I’m not a dog.’ She snapped.
Loki chuckled. ‘No, a dog would be much better behaved than you are.’
‘Why don’t you get a dog then.’ Chloe grumbled.
He turned around and grinned wickedly at her. Before answering, he took a sip of his drink. ‘Because I am not into fucking dogs, Chloe.’
Loki was calm, too calm. It was making her feel even more on edge than if he shouted and screamed at her. He walked over towards the other sofa and placed his drink down on a small table at the side.
‘I am giving you one last chance, Chloe. Sit down.’ He stood up straight and looked at her, waiting.
Chloe hesitantly moved out from behind the sofa and slowly moved round to sit down on the edge, as far away from where he was stood as possible. Loki decided to allow her that, and sat down where he’d left his drink.
He enjoyed watching her squirm under his gaze, she couldn’t make eye contact with him.
‘Tell me about yourself, Chloe. What do you want to do with your life?’ Loki asked, swirling the ice around in his drink.
‘I… I want to get the hell out of here.’ She said through gritted teeth.
‘Well, we both know that is not going to happen. Come on, there must be a reason why you’re going to college soon. What are you going to study?’
‘Am I going to be able to go?’ She snapped.
‘Of course. I will not stop you from earning an education. On the contrary, I will be fully supporting you.’
Chloe wasn’t sure what to say to that. It felt like a trap or something. So she kept quiet, until Loki demanded she tell him what she was wanting to go to college for.
‘I want to be a fashion designer.’ She muttered.
Loki raised an eyebrow and nodded, impressed. ‘Nice choice. Not an easy career choice, though.’
‘No… it’s not.’ She kept looking down at her hands in her lap.
Loki kept asking her questions about college, she answered only when she absolutely had to. And she did her best to keep things short, hoping he would get bored soon. But he didn’t. Instead, he ended up moving over to sit next to her. That made her extremely uncomfortable. When she tried to shrink further away, he put a firm hand onto her thigh.
Things escalated quickly, much to her dismay. She found herself lying down on the sofa underneath Loki, while his hands sneaked up under her dress and fondled at her breasts. He latched his mouth onto her neck, sucking and nibbling over her skin to try and find her sweet spots.
‘Please, don’t.’ She whined and tried pushing at his chest, but it was like trying to shove a boulder.
Loki ignored her pleas and positioned himself better between her legs, she yelped when she could feel his bulge pressing on her when he started to grind against her.
She tried hitting him again and then attempted to scratch at his face. Loki grabbed her wrists and wrestled them into one hand, then pinned them above her on the arm of the sofa.
‘If you dare harm me, you will regret it. I promise you that.’ He snarled and bit down particularly hard on her neck, making her cry out.
After that, she just lay there and took it. Loki pushed her panties to the side, giving him the access he needed instead of removing them completely. He gave her the luxury of preparing her this time, using his fingers to coax her clit out of hiding which didn’t take long, to her utter shame.
He took her in a slow and gentle manner. Not at all like the firm grip he had on her wrists, making sure she stayed in place beneath him. Loki thought he should’ve taken her roughly, as punishment for trying to run away. But he couldn’t resist taking his time, to enjoy the feel of her warm and soft walls fluttering around him. Feeling her become wetter with every deep stroke of his cock.
‘Mmm, cum for me Chloe. Let me feel you orgasm while my cock is buried inside you.’ He purred, nuzzling her neck as he pushed his hips firmly against her.
‘N… No. Please.’ She whimpered.
It was one thing having him rape her. But it was another thing entirely when he made her cum from it too.
Loki growled in annoyance as he sneaked a hand down between their bodies so he could start playing with her clit. It got the desired reaction from her, she started wriggling again but now it was in pleasure as it started to build up rapidly inside her.
Loki started moving a bit quicker, not able to control himself. When she started to orgasm, Loki felt like he was in utter heaven. The way her body clamped down on him tightly and coated his cock in her cum.
Chloe was in a haze from the orgasm, but she managed to focus slightly. Realising that Loki was going to cum, too.
‘Not… Not in me… Please. No.’ She begged.
But her begging fell on deaf ears.
Loki’s panting and grunting became louder against her ear, his thrusts were no longer smooth and calculated, he was losing control inside her. No matter how much she tried to fight back, Loki was going to finish inside of her.
And he certainly did. Again.
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Text
Only Sinners are Repentance Series
Chapter 12 - Unleash the Truth
Story Summary: The gangs in New York have not been getting along as the control of the city is falling apart. Here we follow the story of Viper and Vemon as these girl’s experience heartbreak, drama and death.  
Chapter Summary: Joe get rudely awakened by Mika to notice her fear they run into Kayla and Sam fighting. He knew that this day was coming, so he was going to be prepared for anything. Sam finally realizes that he can’t be the hero anymore, so he tries to convince Joe with a sneaky deal. He refuses and now Sam is left broken while the sisters prepare for the battle of a lifetime.  
Word Count: 1,706
Joe’s POV
I woke up to someone frankly pushing me awake as I slowly open my eyes to see Mika standing before me with a nervous expression. If I wasn’t wide awake I am now as I could hear distance shouting in Kayla’s office. I look at her as we bolt towards her office as the shouting is getting louder and more aggressive. Without any warning, I slam open the door to see my older daughter nose to nose with Sam as none of them were holding back. They haven’t even noticed that we are in the room as the fight went on. It was like we were not even there.
“Why won’t you accept my help, Doofus! You clearly need it and you need me here!” Sam’s hands turn into a fist as he glares into her soft scared brown eyes.
“Sam,” Kayla takes a deep breath before she heard the door slam open and whipped her head to notice myself who is standing tall and proud with my arms crossed and my blue eyes scanning the situation. and a confused Mika.  
“I need you to go back to work and to forget that this has ever happened.” She tries to calm Sam down but that just sent him into a panic.
“What! Why!? You need to be protected!” He bolts back as he scans his green eyes to my blue ones.  
“What do you mean I ‘need to be protected’ what does that mean Sam?” Kayla questions him as she starts to cross her arms.
I see Sam’s green eyes of rage turn into a look of regret as he looks towards me with an ‘oh shit face’
“I-uh-didn’t mean- “he started but Kayla already uncrossed her arms as she ambushed him with her spit fire attitude. You think that I need a prince in shinning armor to come in on a white fucking horse to protect me! I have spent my whole life protecting myself that I don’t know what it feels like to be protected!” She screams at him as she backs him up into a corner. “I have people to protect me Samuel” She points to us around the room as she mentions our names, “I have my father, Joe, my loving sister Mika and every man and women I employ here. They would gladly die for me if we finally stop the King Jacks gang!”  Sam’s face finally turns to me with a confused gaze.
“But he’s not even your father! I mean come on it has to be adoption! You look nothing alike!” He points out as Mika is trying her hardest not to laugh.
“Don’t you think I know that dumb ass Our parents died in a car crash when I was four! Vicino told Joe to be our parent since he was the one that Vic trusted with his life. Joe gave us a better life than our dead parents could! My real father didn’t like what Vic was doing so we never got to see him.” She sighs as a quick memory rushes back, but she turns it away as she has a situation to handle. “Out of all the ‘father’ figures in my life, Joe and Vicino were always there for us! “She stalks up to Sam as he backs up to have his body pressed against the clear widows.
“I don’t need your help!” she spites back, as she turns around for a split second before she grabs his shirt and pins him against the same widow, “You have no right to come in here and order me around like some cop! This line of work is very dangerous.” She leans right in his ear to whisper something that made his green eyes dull as she smirks and stands back up. We all see Sam slide down the window with his hands over his face.
“I’m perfectly able to take care of this myself and my team to back me up.” She gloats as she turns to meet her sisters gaze, “Well, I would love to stay and chat, but I have some men I need to train. Come on, Mika lets go!” She walks up and grabs her wrist as they walk out. Before they leave completely she turns to whisper in my ear. “Take care of him, would you Joe?” she winks at me as she leaves the room.
I know what she is planning, and she needs Sam to go back to work since knowing William he might be bugged. I think as the door slowly closes. As soon as I hear the doors click I smirk as I stalk right up to Sam bundled up in the corner. As I slowly make my way towards him he tries to attack me.
‘Children’ I muse as I dodged his incoming attack to hold him without causing any more damages. A couple of minutes went by, so I released my hold to allow him to stand as he stood his ground eyeing the new threat.
“What the hell man! What was that for!” he shouts at me as his eyebrows narrow in confusion.
“Look, I understand that you may be hurt about this boy, but you don’t need to understand why my daughter is giving you the boot-and thank god not in a body bag.” I mummer the last part to myself.
“Boy? Daughter?” he turns his head looking at the nickname before his green eyes narrow back, “I don’t give a shit about any of this!  I’m here to protect her! From him, from you! My men are coming to put you all in jail for your crimes against the city” he smirked as he walked closer, “You should just all surrender now, and I’ll make sure that your sentence is less painful. I know you want to save the girls from that mess right?” he rubs his hands together before holding out a hand to shake on.
I turn around to see his outreached hand and sigh as rub my eyebrows in irritation. “Boy, do you know that you are starting to become your boss. I’d be worried if I were you, he has more demons than you would ever know “If I know your boss right, which I do. We are not your enemy, he is. You don’t understand. Look at yourself in the mirror next time and tell me what you see. Cause I see William right in front of me.”
I hear Sam scoff at my words as he gives them no attention. I’m finally fed up at this situation, besides I have a job to do. I ignore his outburst as I turned to throw him some stuff that I picked up around the complex. He catches it as he looks up at me like a lost child.
I point to the door as I spoke, “There is the door. Put yourself together and then leave. Don’t you say anything to your boss about our plans. You can still be a use to me yet boy.” I hear him grumble at the nickname as he shoves past me towards the door.
TIME SKIP
It’s been two months since Kayla kicked my ass out of the Royal Serpents Headquarters. It was embarrassing when I arrived home, carrying my items back and Joe’s death glare still fresh in my memory. I took a deep breath before I knocked on the door to see James give me a wide-eyed look of concern as I pushed through to stumble in the lobby. I was still fuming as I dropped my stuff on the ground as you could hear a loud thud throughout the house. My fists were still balled up as my breathing got rapid and I didn’t have time to think before I had James pinned towards the back of the door.
“Sam! What has gotten into you!” James shrieked as his golden eyes narrowed into my blazing ones to see some tears threatening to spill. My jaw tightened as I thought about my conversation with Joe a couple of hours ago.  
James POV
After I have gotten those words out at Sam I found myself pinned towards the back of our door with Sam yelling at me.
“How dare you tell me that I’m slowly turning into my corrupt boss! Who does that guy think he is! All I did was to make their sentence less painful, but he turns this shit on me! I know, he’s scared because we are getting closer to them and he wants to protect his family. How sweet! Barf.” keep I should have known about what’s going on! You don’t get to hide in the shadows and then pretend that everything is okay.”
As he was yelling at me I could tell that this was serious as I could see that he had a look that could kill. Sam had some pent-up anger from whatever he saw, and with him being gone for two months I was prepared for the worse. After he spoke aloud he turned around to see Erik, Matthew, and Damien coming down to hear the commotion. His whole face went blank as he stared into my collective form. I gave him a look of sadness but before he broke his grip completely I pulled him in for a hug.
“Ah- James, let me go!” I heard him protest but I only pressed harder around him as he needed comfort in this moment.
“Sam,” I gave him a half smile as he looked up at me, “Even the strongest people need help once in a while.”
I let go of Sam as he turned around to meet Matthew with a sad smile. “Sam,” he started, “What the hell has happened to you.” He squeaked out as he silently walked past pushing him aside I nodded to my brothers to leave Sam alone as they filed out towards the living room. Before I left I put my hand on Sam’s shoulder as he glared at me.
“When you are ready, I’m here to listen.” Sam brushed off my arm as he saw me leave the room. I shook my head sighing as I went back towards the library to finish reading.
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chingonaclawsarchive · 4 years ago
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     ❤️  samuel y laura 08 / ♾️ .  @theimpalpable. 
          “aren’t you forgetting something? -- my shirt...”
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lostcauses-noregrets · 5 years ago
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You usually talk about eruri only and not so much the manga itself, at least not currently, and I was wondering how you're feeling about it. Are you enjoying the current stroyline?
LOL guilty as charged Anon! I make no bones about the fact that I’m a dyed in the wool shipper, but I’m also a fan of the manga quite apart from my beloved ship, so it’s nice to get an ask about this. 
I’ve said before that I think Yams real gift as an author are his characters and world building, but that his plot and pacing are woeful, and I still stand by that. The Marley Arc was the most glaring instance of this problem.  Abandoning the main cast for, how long was it? 12 months? and introducing a whole new cast of characters at such a late stage was madness.  I actually really like the Warriors and have a huge amount of sympathy for them, but I still believe their story would have been much more effective and affecting if it had been woven into the main arc. There have been other pacing issues since then. It’s no secret that I’m not a fan of the Yeagerbros, and while I found their endless psychodramas and daddy issues a bit dull, I really want to know where the hell they are now.  I mean is Zeke still even alive in any meaningful sense of the word?  Is he stuck in paths indefinitely? And don’t even get me started on Eren!  I know it’s impossibly difficult to maintain such a huge and complex cast of characters for so long but I think Yams tendency to focus on one group of characters for several months, while ignoring all the others, has been detrimental to the impact of the story, particularly if you’re following it month by month.
As far as the current storyline is going, I really like the fact that the Warriors and the remnant of the Survey Corps have had to come together.  It’s been foreshadowed for long enough and it doesn’t seem unrealistic to me that they would put past grievances aside (temporarily?) to defeat a greater enemy.  Yelena is not my favourite character, but I like the role she’s playing at the moment, as she has no allegiance to either the Warriors or the SC and is primarily there to cause trouble.  In the current chapter I thought the reappearance of Daz and whatshisname was ridiculous.  I get the SC are conflicted about fighting their former comrades, but that could easily have been communicated without the reintroduction of two characters who everyone had forgotten and no one gives a damn about. Yams does have a bit of a tendency to get side tracked by plot lines that contribute little to the overall story arc, @momtaku called out a few here.
“Miss him (Zeke)” is a stretch but I am for sure more interested in his story than Daz and Samuels. Or Louis’s. Or Connie’s mom. Or the Hizaru mechanics. Or Floch’s continued buffoonery.
I would also have cut down the amount of time devoted to Gabi and Falco’s story, I actually really like both characters, and I appreciate that they have an important role to play in the story, but there are other characters that deserve a bit of attention too.  (HISTORIA).  Same goes for Nicolo’s story, and I thought the repercussions of Sasha’s death were a bit disproportionate to her role in story.
Meanwhile we’re still waiting to find out what the hell Eren is really thinking, what ever happened to Zeke and OG Ymir,  where the fuck Historia is, will Bert’s death ever be addressed, has Marley already been flattened by the rumbling, will we ever learn anything more about the origins of the Ackermans, will Levi get to fulfil his vow.  Etc, etc, etc.
Having said all that, it’s easy for me to sit here and criticise when I can barely spin a story out for half a dozen chapters.  To maintain a story this complex for ten years is an astonishing achievement.  And let’s not forget that this is Isayama’s first manga, he was only 19 when he started writing it and he’s been working on it constantly every month for ten years without a break.  Think about how much your life changes between the ages of 19 and 29, can you imagine working on the same project all that time? Amazing.  
Frustrated as I often am by the direction and the pacing of the manga, and much as I think Isayama really needs a good strong editor, I still love the story and I’m absolutely going to be following it to the (bitter?) end.    
Thanks for the ask Anon, and apologies that this turned into a bit of a rant :}
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avalindin · 5 years ago
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Stay Alive
Snowpiercer AU
*A/N: Am I back? For now, yeah. I know it’s been a year but I was busy heavily stressing about life and having Times Square dancers shaking their business in my face. So, I think I did pretty good.
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She did what she could to keep her head down and cling to her husband. Nearly three whole years of shuffling around to the right stop that was still boarding. The journey was long and there were things she was able to push from her memory. What she couldn’t, she forced away to stay focused. Any mistake in the next few hundred yards and it would cost her life. She could hear the guards near the edge of the gates leading to the  tracks.
“Cardholders to the left, others to the right!”
She held on for her life. Her body hated the cold and what was left of her clothes did what they could to keep her warm. Anything she wore now wasn’t what she originally had when they first ran.
“Women, children first! Coupled tickets this way!”
“Come on move your feet!”
Her legs hurt from the cold that seeped through the torn leggings. She’d fallen and tripped so many times on the journey that she was sure that her legs were more coated with her blood than what was left of her fabric. Her grip became tighter the more they got to the filling trains. She didn’t want to look to the waves of panic and chaos pushing into one another. Children cried for their parents stuck on the edge of the tracks, handed off to complete strangers and never to be seen again. Again, she forced them out.
Still, she ignored the sounds around her and kept her feet moving. She screamed out when a tall, large man jumped in front of them. It wasn’t the first time; it all scared her, the desperation of strangers.
“How much for her? Please? I need to get on the train!”
“Not with my wife. Get lost.”
She whimpered as his grip on her wrist tightened enough to hurt but she didn’t want to draw attention to herself. They were that much closer.
“Come on. Everyone is grabbing a girl. The couples get lucky. Look around you!”
She looked to her husband’s eyes looking around to the women around them doing what they could to get to the train on their own. Disbelief sunk into her chest when her husband’s grip loosened for a moment and the stranger’s began to replace it.
“Sam!”
He turned back as the crowds of people pulled her from his hand. Hers grabbed on to his knapsack. She screamed and in another moment, was lost.
“Sam?!”
She fought the crowd and used the edge of her worn boots to climb up a snowy trash can to look for him. A smile hurt her face as she spotted him behind her. She waved her hand free of her bags and felt the breath stop in her chest. Her husband’s hand was locked tight with another woman’s and her grip matched his own.
“Samuel!!”
Her voice raised high enough to turn heads including his. She waited for his hand to let go, for his direction to change to hers but he pressed on without her. She even pushed the dark loose strands out of her eyes to be sure as he moved on.
“Sa-”
Her whole body jumped as she was pulled from her feet and down to the hard stone of the walkway. She tried to scream but a dirty hand covered her mouth as she was dragged to the boarded up building nearby. Her nails tried to reach up and scratch, but her fingers stayed clutched to the useless bags.
She could feel fires fighting the bitter, harsh cold. Once they were beautiful libraries and full of life. Now the books had all burned for heat and used to roast the animals caged high up the halls.
The poor lit rooms hurt her eyes after days of walking under the cold sun.
“Found one for auctioning. Train leaves in an hour.”
She didn’t want to know what was happening or how to get away, but she did what she could to hurt however held her. Her boots kicked his shins to make his curse. His fingers tangled into her hair and jerked her head back to keep her in line.
“Behave and you might get on the train in one piece.”
She would have rather died. Her jaw opened as wide as it could and when his fingers ran over the front of her teeth, she bit down as hard as she could. His scream of pain echoed over the howls of the caged animals and of the yelling crowd in the next room. Attention was something dangerous if it was pointed towards her. She let him go and spat the blood to the floor. Her body turned to run back for the light. A silhouette ran from the shadows to main doorway and lifted a bit of metal from one of the broken cages over his head
It was a tall man, his piercing blue eyes stunning her. They seemed familiar and terrifying.
“Get down!”
Her bags helped her drop to the floor. Her arms protected her as a shriek of pain filled her ears. A hand pulled her to her feet. She found the blue eyes again, the purest thing on his face as the smeared dirt on more of his skin.
“Run.”
The voice that came from his mouth was serious, but she obeyed and run by his side. She didn’t ask any questions and kept running. Her lungs burned the closer they got to the train.
“This way,” he ordered.
She flung the bags over her shoulder and stayed as close to her savior as she could. There was no way to know what would happen with Samuel gone. She would have to do what she could. Aside from her stranger, she was finally all alone. Her feet stopped once she had room to move her arms. She looked over her shoulder to the few people that made their way to the back of the train.
“Where are the guards?”
It was strange to hear her own voice.
“Cargo guards are on the inside. No payment to get on but you work for your spot on the train. Down here.”
The people in front of her scrambled to disappear under the wheels and onto the large metal railings. She did what she could to not slip on the ice. A hatch dropped near her head. Her stranger turned and nodded up.
“Go. Wait for me.”
She held on to what she could and hoisted herself up into the car. The dim light made her nervous until the dull lights overhead flickered on. She could feel her head spin a bit as her stranger’s hand returned to her arm.
“Come on.”
A few loud thuds almost made her look back as the train around her began to rumble. The unfamiliar roar nearly drowned out the screams of the people still outside, banging their fists on the walls. The bags on her arms were too heavy for her to reach up and cover her ears.
“Hey.”
Her stranger reached for her terrified face and turned the rest of her slowly to the nearest wall. She tried to push out words, anything but it was no use. Tears ran down her face, surely erasing a small bit of dirt left on her from her travels. Her knees buckled. She knew what was coming next. The world she left behind outside made her heart race wildly.
He caught her and pulled her farther towards the back. She almost didn’t see him disappear to return a second later with a blanket. He led her to the loudest part of the car near the wheels so they couldn’t hear anything else. He pressed her to the wall and laid next to her to shield her from the other passengers looking for a place to settle. She worked both her bags from her tired arms and tucked them between the both of them.
“Don’t let them see the bags or they’ll kill you for it.”
“Who?”
Her voice cracked a little. He only shock his head and covered her with most of the blanket.
“Don’t look at anyone else.”
“What do we do?”
“Sleep.”
“And?”
It had been a long time since she and her husband had left their lives behind to seek safety on the train that could save them from the growing horrors outside. She’d watched so many people die. Starvation, wild dogs, each other. So much death, so many things that would stay with her as nightmares. Too many horrors she’d seen, and she was sure it wasn’t going to stop now that she made it to the train.
“Stay alive.”
She shook her head and flattened herself as close to the warming wall behind her. Her hand reached out and grabbed her stranger to pull him away from the shuffling boots hitting his back.
“No.”
“Do it or I’ll scream.”
He gave a small huff and moved as close as he could to her. His arms fixed themselves around her, giving them more room as the train rocked to life. She sealed her eyes shut and held onto her stranger. All she needed to think about was the colony waiting over a year away, still green and vibrant and worth everything she’d experienced.
She tried to open her eyes to look at her stranger one last time, but the ground held her hurting tired body and let her sleep the pain away.
 -
 She didn’t remember when she woke up. It all still felt like a dream. The only thing that was different was the stationary image of the other passengers in the car. Her legs felt like they wanted to move again after walking for so long.
Her ears were thankful not to hear any more screams and the sure turning of the train wheels behind her.  She ignored her stomach and kept her bags close to her.
“Here.”
She snapped from her daze to her stranger’s hand out with a bar of food in his palm.
“What is it?”
“What they could spare? Food is traded higher up the train and we were lucky to get something. You need your strength.”
She took the bar and took her time to gnaw at it. Food was still food and it had gotten scarce. Her eyes shifted to a small little girl hiding behind a pile of containers. She smiled to her and ushered her forward with what was left of her bar.
“What are you doing,” he hissed to her.
It was a chance.
“Mind your business. Come here.”
The dirty little child was hesitant at first but bolted from the shadows as she jumped to her lap and snatched the bar away. She was careful to hide the child’s ravenous eating from the others. She locked furious eyes with the stranger.
“Go ahead and say something. Someone has to give a damn.”
“It’s going to get you killed.”
“As long as I do something good. You do good, you die great. Something has to count for something nowadays.”
He rolled his eyes and pulled the bags under his long coat. When the little one finished, she flashed a smile to the woman.
“It’s all I had but you’re welcome. Where’s your family?”
She pointed to the back of the car behind the boxes to a pair of hidden feet. Before she could get up, he stopped her. Perhaps it had been for the best.
“Let me, in case it’s a trap.”
“Are you kidding me? People aren’t that stupid.”
The stranger stood and quickly made his way to the back. He stopped and a look of irritation found her. She followed the nod of his head, slowly bringing the child behind her. He had pulled the blanket back from a skinny blonde woman that had bled out from her stomach. Her skin had already hued blue, dead from the previous day.
The stranger knelt quickly and began searching the dead body.
“What are you doing?”
“Either we do it or they’ll do it worse.”
“Another dead one!”
She turned and saw a handful of people turn and fixate on the body.
“Let’s go!”
One of his hands was full of things taken from the body and the other pushed them safely out of the way of the scavenging and the wave of fists. She held the child starting to cry for her mother to shield her away. She didn’t expect the man to slowly reach for the child.
“Hey, come here for a second.”
The girl let go of her and clung to the man. He laid out the small things he was able to get his hands on. There were pictures, bandages, and a silver necklace; small items that the mother had tucked away when she was alive.
“Do me a favor and hold onto these? Don’t take them out for anybody, okay?”
The little girl shook her head and worked what she could into her pockets. He chained the necklace around her neck and was able to tuck it away under her clothes and mother’s scarf wrapped tightly to her small neck.
A loud screech made everyone in the car cringe as they all covered their ears. A thunder brought everyone to their feet. Men entered the start of the train car. The woman’s eyes went for the large machine guns holstered over their shoulders. One man larger than the line of guards stepped forward.
“Bring forward the dead! Anyone holding a body will join them!”
People backed away to the wall to let half stripped bodies to the front. She heard a whimper from the small girl as her mother’s stripped body was brought forward. Someone had taken the hat from her head to leave a stringy river of pale hair behind her.
“Shh. Don’t look at them. Close your eyes.”
Once the bodies were gone, the people moved about slowly but stayed to their feet.
“Stay standing for count! Tagging begins after! Go!”
The stranger pulled her close to him and the child.
“Do what they say, or you’ll die. They will not hesitate.”
She turned back to the people in front of her sitting one by one in perfect rhythm. Once in sight, she could see the guards perfectly. They looked different from the ones near the front of the train. Her mind went blank to her husband with his hand, painfully clutched to her.
“Down.”
She saw a guard with his arm out clicking something in his hand twice.
“You. Down.”
The stranger held on to the little girl and sat on the ground.
“You. Down.”
Her mind went blank for a moment, purely by accident and everything happened so fast. The guards yelled in her direction. The stranger grabbed her coat to pull her down. The guards all reached for their guns and pointed them directly to her. She was too petrified to move but her arm shot up before she realized what had happened. Her mouth opened and she wasn’t sure of what she said.
Her heart beat twice and the guns were lowered. She cleared her throat and forced herself to focus.
“I’m a ticket holder!”
Her voice echoed throughout the car, trembling as she held up the clenched ticket from her pocket.
“Let her pass. Now!”
She took a single step forward and was stopped. She looked behind her to the concrete grip of her hand on the stranger’s coat holding her back. She wasn’t sure why there was shock in his eyes.
“I have my family,” she barked back to the guards.
Another heartbeat and the largest one ushered them forward. She didn’t dare let go of the coat or her ticket as her legs led her forward. She didn’t dare look back to the rest of the car or the several doors that closed behind them. All she could do was fight the mushy bar that was trying to make its way up her throat. There would be time for that later.
“Stop. Name.”
Fear struck her. She knew she would be fine, but she hadn’t thought about the man or the little girl. Their blood was going to be on her hands. She prayed like Hell that chaos was on her side.
“Curtis and Ava Pierce.”
He held out his hand giving a guard the wallet she had hidden deep in her coat. She didn’t have the energy to be mad. The guard flipped open her wallet, looking to her ID and to a faded picture she kept of her and her husband. They were both almost the same build but her husband was a bit shorter.
“Alright.”
Relief stung as Curtis took the wallet back. She didn’t think the guards were that foolish. There was a moment as they nodded to one another. A single woman guard in grey stepped forward.
“Who’s this then?”
The little girl hid her face into Curtis’ chest scared.
“My niece. You just pulled out her mother with the blonde hair.”
“What’s her name?”
“Is that necessary?”
“Sarah.”
The little girl’s voice was beautiful. She couldn’t remember the last time she heard a child that wasn’t crying. Ava turned her head to little girl as she smiled to the woman guard.
“Is it now? Can you come with me for a minute so the grown-ups can talk?”
Sarah whimpered as she looked to Ava.
“It’s okay, we’ll be right here.”
She slowly let Curtis’ neck go and held on to the woman guard as she stepped back. Ava wanted to follow but the guard pointed their rifles once Sarah was cleared. She screamed for Curtis and Ava until he put his hands up. He moved to Sarah and pulled the cap from his head.
“Don’t worry. We’re just talking, I promise. Just close your eyes for me.”
She shook her head as Curtis worked his dirty cap over her tears. He gave her head a quick kiss and returned to Ava’s side. Ava tried not to panic when the door was shut between them and Sarah.
“So,” sighed the largest guard, “I know you’re lying.”
“It’s my name on the ticket and the ID in my wallet. What more proof do you need?”
The guard scratched at his chin. So many nightmare and so many things she lived through. She would get through this.
“Give her a kiss.”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“No. I have money.”
“Do you now?”
“Stop it,” ordered Curtis as he stepped between the both of them, “You aren’t taking her money.”
“That’s not up to you. Just be lucky it’s me and not any others looking for a way to make room on this train. You want survive; you better keep up appearances.”
Curtis pushed Ava behind him to shield her, but it wouldn’t be enough.
“We’ll give you what you want and then we’ll go.”
He turned without another word. Ava almost started to argue until she met his eyes. He was just as scared as she was.
“Trust me,” he quickly huffed under his breath.
Ava wasn’t ready for the weight of Curtis pushing her back against a stray box and pressing his lips to hers. Her whole body was frozen as his hands slowly moved to her back to hold her to him. She wasn’t sure of what to do but it all felt humiliating and… welcome.
One of his hands drifted up to her neck to cradle her head as he buried his lips into her neck. Ava sealed her eyes shut to not see the looks on the guards’ faces. She did what she could to ignore the whistles and stifled laughter. She gasped as she felt Curtis press himself hard enough to feel her legs spread.
“Alright, that’s enough, the both of you. Separate. Now.”
She could feel Curtis force himself to stop but she wasn’t ready to compose herself. Her skin was on fire, needing to sweat. Her eyes stayed to the ground as one of the guards knocked on the door. It lifted to Sarah waiting. Ava reached forward and took her into her arms. All she wanted to do was leave.
“Alright. Move along.”
“Thank you.”
Curtis gave Ava a push forward to the series of doors opening ahead of them.
“I mean it about the appearances,” the guard pushed out in one breath.
They all moved on. They were led for what seemed like forever as Ava tried to hold Sarah in her arms.
“Here.”
Curtis took the sleeping toddler from her arms, not realizing that she’d been wearing herself out.
“Thank you.”
“Wait here.”
They stopped and were made to sit as what was left of the guards left them alone. Ava forced her eyes to stay open. The quiet was strange.
“So, Curtis?”
“Everett. Look, I’m sorry for what happened...”
“No,” she interrupted.
She took a breath and tried to find her words.
“It’s like you said. Stay alive. There are worse ways to survive. Just don’t give me a reason to kill you and don’t go through my things.”
“It saved us.”
“I know.”
She wasn’t ready for the way his hand slid into hers, dirty fingers lacing. He brought them to his chapped lips and kissed the back of her hand.
“You deserved better than him. I saw how he looked to you.”
He meant Samuel.
“I don’t want to talk about him.”
“If he stayed, then you wouldn’t have saved Sarah. Children get snatched for food all the time.”
She looked confused to him and then to Sarah’s sleepy face.
“Traded or worse.”
Ava didn’t want to imagine but anything could be passed off as justified under harsh circumstances. Apocalypses had all rules looked over. She ran her finger over her small, warm cheek.
“Stay alive.”
A guard returned with a strangely proper looking middle aged woman. Her clothes were unbelievably clean, and her posture was as straight as a statue.
“Welcome to the Cabins, Ticket Holders! My deepest apologies for finding you so late. We are experiencing some difficulty with proper organization of other holders and some souls that had wandered to the front of the trains in the chaos, but all is being settled as we speak. May I see your ticket, please?”
Ava reached into her pocket and showed her ticket to the woman. She, in turn, pulled a small lighter from her sleeve and held the flame to the ticket. Ava was perfectly still.
“Wonderful,” smiled the woman as she snapped the lighter shut.
“Excuse me.”
“Oh no, Mrs. Pierce, excuse me. I’ve had to test the tickets. There have been some forgeries and was punishable from the spontaneous combustion that came along with them. Glad to say that you are of the first that haven’t caught fire today.”
“That’s settling.”
“As you will be soon. Come now. You and yours shall be sent directly to your quarters after we get you cleaned up.”
Ava moved herself forward with Curtis and Sarah behind them. The walk behind the woman seemed to go on longer than she wished. Her body almost went on auto-pilot until a familiar voice filled her ears. She willed her knees to stay strong for once.
“My name is in the directory! I want to speak with your superior!”
She felt a hand on her shoulder. She was steady as she shook off Curtis’ hand and stopped in front of the main guard.
“My name is Ava Pierce and I am a ticket holder.”
“Ava!”
Samuel was shoved aside with the woman he’d chosen to take her place as she held up her ticket.
“My inherited money got me this ticket for me and my family.”
Her eyes accidently caught the snarl on Samuel’s face directed squarely at Curtis. He turned himself from Samuel’s growing fury.
“No! That is my wife, you bastard!”
Samuel tried to leap forward for Curtis as he tried to protect Sarah. She shrieked in horror as a single shot from the rifle rang out, hitting Samuel in one of his kneecaps. Curtis shielded Sarah’s face away from the blood and shattered bone as his own foot kicked up and struck Samuel in the neck.
“You stay away from my family!”
Ava reached for the wallet in Curtis’ coat and handed it to the guard.
“I’m the head of my family and my legal name is on the ticket. My mother was one of the investors before legal powers were handed off to me.”
“Excellent. Move them on from the show.”
Ava grabbed Curtis’ hand and quickly dragged him away from Samuel’s painful wails. She didn’t want to or even need to look back to Samuel as she left behind her loveless and neglectful husband behind her. She carried on with Sarah back in her arms and Curtis’ hand in hers. Tears streamed from her eyes, but she felt no guilt or grief. For the first time, she felt no heaviness on her shoulders.
Onward, there were stairs and elevators to lead above what she thought were stacked floors of the train cars. She knew what her mother was investing in but not something as robust as the rumors of the surviving train and what it led to. So many new smells of the train tricked her nose to remind her of a normalcy from before the world had turned to shit. Smells from delicious to sterile and above all out of a dream, she convinced herself to remain focused. There was no time to dream just yet.
“Right. This is where we part. First, to sterilizations and check-ups, then to quarters for the remainder of your stay. Best of luck.”
Ava had no reason to worry as she and Sarah were separated from Curtis to be cleaned. She didn’t want to seem like a distraction, but she kept Sarah calm through washing and immunization shots.
“Good girl. Look at how pretty you are.”
Ava felt it was unnecessary at the workers of the train to over agree and smother Sarah, but it was their job and it kept Sarah smiling. They were led cleaned to small room with clear walls where a single person, unsure if they were man or woman, sat behind a typewriter with files spread around them. Ava turned her head by chance to see a painful look on Curtis’ face as something was injected into his arm. Her eyes looked in horror to a dark patch of skin on his left arm. Sarah quickly noticed but Ava quickly racked her brain. True white lie.
“It’s okay. It’s just the medicine fighting the bad stuff. He’s going to be fine.”
Frostbite was something Ava always feared. She was glad that none of the cuts on her legs were affected by it. She could only pray for Curtis’ arm. Once the pain in his face stopped, he would be led to Ava and made to sit in front of the typist but when she looked up he was gone from sight. She was glad that Sarah turned her attention to the hair that was cut, cleaned and laying on Ava’s shoulder.
“List of Inventory of the Pierce Party of three, detailed. Check here. All either returned or stored for your stay.”
“We want everything.”
“Initial here, please.”
Ava did, accepting.
“The Terms and Conditions of passage to the Colonies includes any accepted skills for the last stop.”
“I don’t have any skills. I have a chance to finish school.”
“There are programs to ensure maximum productivity.”
One of the staff rushed to the typewriter’s side and whispered something almost putting a smile to their face.
“Mrs. Pierce. A second of your time? She will need to stay here.”
Sarah was able to let go and cooperate as she moved to where Curtis used to be.
“I-Is there a problem?”
“There would seem so.”
Ava could feel the bumps on her arm raise. She tried to open her mouth to explain herself.
“You husband is having a hard time with testing contribution.”
“Contribution?”
“Yes, it was put down that your family would be making an addition in more than one way. Your physical exam won’t be until the day after tomorrow but since he is here…”
“Oh, I see…”
There was nothing to hide her blush and fear of getting caught. It was the appearances the guard had mentioned. No sudden changes meant no paranoia and no paranoia meant no inquiries.
“Things may go quicker with your assistance. Come back when you’re done.”
The frosted glass closed behind her, silencing the train and shocking herself hearing the frustrated breaths on the other side of the dim room. Ava was careful in her steps, listening to Curtis as he struggled. She arched her head and was stunned. Curtis’ clean skin was visible to her. His shirt was in a heap on the floor near his feet and his pant were pushed to the edge of his hips. His skin was littered in scars and it was all too mesmerizing to look away.
“Curtis?”
Her voice sounded different.
“I’m sorry. They were asking me too many questions and they gave me that.”
Her eyes glued themselves to the small plastic collection cup on the counter next to him. She pushed it to the wall and hopped on the counter next to him. She didn’t want to look down, not yet. His face was just as red as hers.
This was what they had to do. Stay alive. She took his hand and pulled him in front of her. It was hard for him to look her in the eyes.
“I didn’t think we’d make it this far,” he whispered.
It was strange to hear his voice so soft. His bottom lip began to tremble.
“Hey, hey. Don’t do that. We could have died in that back car.”
“No,” he whispered.
He turned his lips into her palm and kissed her skin. There was something wrong.
“Curtis?”
“I followed you. Him too. I-I didn’t mean to but… There were so many people going in different directions and not everyone was going to survive. I was following behind the groups for more than a year. There were times he was gone, and I made sure nothing happened. There were too many fucking close calls.”
“So, the tracks wasn’t a random thing?”
“I saw him let go and they would have done worse things than kill you…”
Ava grabbed his face and pressed her lips to his. Her mouth tingled, feeling something she hadn’t in a long time. She pulled away. Her eyes stayed closed as she felt Curtis panting in front of her.
The world had been dangerous outside, and he said it himself. There were too many times that she’d been caught in the chaos and nightmares that followed in traveling for months. Sam had shown his worth and though Curtis was a stranger, he cared more.
Her mind ran for a moment. Her fingers brushed the skin under his navel, and they wanted to go further.
“What would you do, Curtis?”
“What?”
“Our circumstances have changed. Not for the best but not the worst. Tell me.”
She grabbed his hand and formed it to her side, letting it slide under her shirt. Curtis’ fingers formed so beautifully to her side.
“I can’t.”
She pulled his neck down and kissed him. The sound that came from him made her face hurt as she smiled.
“Then show me.”
 -
 “Mr. Pierce?”
“Woodworker. Furniture, mostly.”
He didn’t realize he’d lost focus again as he tried not to look at the partly filled container left on the counter behind the typewriter just waiting to be picked up by someone from the medical car.
“With the arm?”
“Before. I don’t plan on stopping.”
“My ticket covers any medical attention he’ll need if it comes to that.”
“Naturally. That and future additions. Additions are encouraged. Do you have plans for additions?”
There was a silence that filled the clear room. Curtis cleared his throat. If he hadn’t controlled himself when he was alone with Ava, then they would have.
“Yes.”
“Very well.”
“Wait. Ah-”
Ava kicked Curtis’ shin to shut him up as the rest of her paperwork was put into their systems. The ticket was going to be used to its limit. No matter what, they would be taken care of. Ava kept her face buried in Sarah’s hair as they moved along. She stayed focused so she wouldn’t have to think of Curtis again.
His hands. His lips. Him…
“And the preschools are a floor below.”
“She’s still working out her mother’s death.”
“We have the best tutors. Something minimal until she is ready. Here is your quarters.”
Ava was stunned at the space of the quarters she was given. Much more room than the box car she left behind.
“Thank you.”
Ana turned to see the typist gone and a guard to take their place, one that had taunted them earlier on the train.
“Nice accommodations, Mrs. Pierce. Settling in well?”
“Yes, and we thank you for getting us here without a problem. Why are you here?”
“This isn’t personal.”
“The show at the back of the train seemed personal for your benefit,” interrupted Curtis.
“Fine,” agreed Ava, “but I have a feeling there is something more, isn’t there?”
“You got me. Some is personal but I’m a man of business.”
“I’m not fucking you.”
“Now, now. I’m not that morally corrupted. Your ticket puts you near the start of the process and things run smoother on schedule. Do this and I’ll be of a concierge to you.”
“You want a promotion.”
“Like you, I need to move my family into better living conditions. The standing importance of your ticket has many privileges.”
“I want to ten more people to come up. Families.”
“Ten more people?”
“They’ll easily fit in here with plenty of room to spare.”
“Are you joking?”
“My status, your connections. People deserve a chance. Think of what will happen to that space when your family moves up. Someone else will be able to survive in that spot.”
“What about that bastard at the start of the Cabins?”
“He knows what he did, and I will never think of him again. My deal. Either take it or leave it. I’m sure other guards have families that would love to step up.”
With a sigh, the guard tried not to act so impressed as he shook Ava’s hand.
“Deal, Mrs. Pierce. The paperwork will find you tomorrow.”
“I’m sure it will.”
Ava didn’t break eye contact until he broke his demeanor and held out his hand.
“I do mean my word, Mrs. Pierce. I lost people too. These are changed times. Those families won’t get up here at once. Believe me when I say there are more good people than worse. Certain ones didn’t make it to the train in time. Rules can be bent carefully, if you catch my wind.”
This was her chance to be the woman her mother had raised by herself. If it would keep the bad away for a little while longer, then it would all be worth it. She took his hand.
“Then help me find a way around this.”
“Yes, Ma’am. Have a well rest. You deserve it. I should also let you know that your dirty man bled out ‘fore he could be patched up. Don’t know where the skinny thing ran off to.”
“Not my problem anymore. If you find her, make sure she’s not in my car.”
She waited until he was gone and shut her new family away from the rest of the train. Curtis disappeared into the kitchen space. She could hear the curses echo from the amount of provided food lining the shelves. She could hear Sarah had wandered into the other room and play with the provided toys. Ava closed her eyes and let the silence numb her as she sat against the nearest wall and fell asleep.
Her eyes opened as Sarah wiggled out of her arms. Ava pushed herself out of the toddler’s disgustingly comfortable bed and stretched herself. Curtis must have put her in the bed next to Sarah. Her eyes followed the soft and pink colors, eventually ending up at the door to the rest of their quarters.
From the door there was a large open space for sitting. There was a fireplace, safe to use thanks to the many vents that channeled away smoke safely and from what she remembered her mother say, the heat would also make it to the other cars. There was a grand dining room table with room to spare and a large kitchen space. Ava wondered if her cooking would be as good as she remembered. Hopefully, her new inside man would find someone from the back that could help her. There were two bathrooms, one next to the kitchen and one in the spacious master bedroom. It stood next to Sarah’s new room and ending with the front door.
Ava turned her head to the master bedroom and saw Curtis out cold.
She closed Sarah’s door, and slowly made her way forward. The quiet scared her. There were clothes provided but she didn’t want to change out of her shirt and sweatpants. At least, not yet.
She closed the bedroom door behind her and felt the past wash over her. Her nose found the linens, fresh and undisturbed. She followed it to the closet on the other side of the room. Ava felt the flicker light above her hurt her eyes and fell to her knees at the sight of fresh towels. Her nose buried deep into the fabric and she knew she didn’t want to leave.
“Where’s my pretty girl?”
Ava remembered she always messed up the laundry her mother folded.
“How did I know you would be here?”
Ava remembered a small moment before everything happened when she was a child. Her mother’s arms around her with the fresh towels to comfort her and protect her from what life hadn’t thrown at her yet.
She didn’t have the same comfort when her mother was laying in the hospital bed with nervous lawyers surrounding her. There was no time for memories or goodbyes, only the warnings.
“Nothing big. Have Samuel withdraw as much as he can and wire it to the company on-site.”
“Okay.”
“Things are happening too quickly. You have until the day after tomorrow. You should be going now.”
“But we aren’t ready!”
Her mother’s hand fought the short length of the tubes. Ava couldn’t stop her tears.
“I have made my peace. No one is coming for me. Even if they were, I wouldn’t survive the trip. If you do not survive, then there is no point in all of this.”
“Tell me what to do, mama.”
She remembered how strong she wanted her mother’s hand to be.
“Stay alive. Promise me.”
“I promise…”
Ava knew her mother would be proud as she carefully folded the towels back where they belonged. Her eyes looked to the rows and rows of fancy clothes she know she’d never wear. She was on her feet and ran her finger across the fabrics.
“We could use better than this crap.”
Ava did come from money, yet she was raised to be humble but as her eyes settled on the unnecessary colors. She undressed herself and looked into each and every drawer that would be theirs. Functioning undergarments felt strange on her skin, so did the stockings and the deep green gown that slid across her curves with ease.
“Ava?”
She left the closet behind her and met Curtis’ eyes.
“I’m sorry if I woke you.”
“What the fuck are you wearing?”
The smile on his face made her unsure if he really hated the dress.
“The whole closet is full of them. You don’t like it, do you?”
Curtis stretched out with the thin sheet to inch down his stomach.
“No, I do not.”
She chose to make one turn and show off the fabric.
“It looks flammable.”
“Like it could keep a fire burning for the whole night. Maybe into the morning.”
“I guess that makes it worth something.”
Curtis reached out and caught some of the fabric.
“It could but I still don’t like it.”
“Fine with me,” she shrugged.
Ava pushed the straps down her arms. She felt Curtis’ eyes burning into her chest as the dress fell to her waist.
“You probably don’t like these either,” she sighed as Curtis’ eyes were glued to the black lace bra.
His hand slid up into the slit she didn’t remember was in the side of the dress.
“I guess that would all depend.”
Ava smiled, pushing the dress down past her knees and his hand.
“How about now,” she whispered as her fingers brushed alongside the lace panties that went with the bra.
“I may need a closer look. Come here.”
The hand at her leg guided her to the bed and over his waist.
“Is this better?”
“Maybe a little closer.”
Ava failed to keep a smile from her face as Curtis pulled her to the top of his chest. He arched his head up and kissed the inside of her leg. She could feel his lips move higher. She gasped at the feel of his nipping teeth, teasing her thigh.
His tongue darted out and pressed to the lace between her legs. She braced Curtis’ legs through the sheet, humping the tip of his tongue and needing so much more.
Curtis reached up and moved the fabric to the side and swiped his tongue up. Ava gasped, clawing at his legs. Curtis hid his wince from the dug of her shortened nails. Any long than they had been, and Ava would have drawn blood. He tried to hold her hips as still as he could, but it was like he remembered.
Warm, inviting, delicious…
So many years and tasting it again, tasting her, he didn’t want to stop but he need more.
Ava could feel Curtis move under her so quickly. The way he moved, the way he looked into her eyes, licking his lips to her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to the soft mattress under him. His arms stayed around her; his hands touched every bit of her clean skin.
Ava kept her eyes staring deep into Curtis’ as his strong hand grabbed the front of her bra and snapped it open without hesitation. His lips buried themselves into her skin at the top of her chest. Her stomach cringed wonderfully as his fingers found themselves either around her naked breast or past the edge of her panties. Curtis refused to let her skin go once the pads of his fingers wandered between her legs.
He helped her legs part better; one of hers over his to let his hand feel her wet for him. She felt how quick his hand was. First, at the top, then down, slowly stroking her until his finger slid into her. He held onto her as she slowly writhed against Curtis. She guided his head forward to her neck. His teeth dug into her skin only a fraction and it was enough to nearly break her.
She could feel his fingers in and out of her, drawing her closer.
He stopped and slowly pulled his hands away. He arched forward and licked his fingers clean. Curtis wanted to turn back to see the beautiful look of hunger on her face but was distracted by the way she slid the useless panties down her legs.
“You were taking too long.”
He met her eyes as she pulled off what was left of the ripped bra. He grinned.
“I guess, I’ll remember that for next time.”
He was over her in an instant. He jerked the bedsheets away. They felt so strange on his skin after all this time, even Ava’s naked skin but he would get used to that much quicker. He panted in her ear the more he grinded against her.
“Tell me what to do.”
“No.”
He was thrilled by the smile on her face and the way her fingers brushed against her chest.
“Then what?”
She grabbed him, slowly stroking him. He wasn’t ready as his fingers curled roughly into the mattress. She missed this.
“Do to me what you would have done in that back room,” she took his hand and led it to her neck, “or out there, all alone, with no one around…”
There was a second of hesitation, snapped away as she offered her open legs to him. He crashed into her, needing to feel her warmth again. Ava opened her mouth as Curtis filled her. He winced at the nails digging into his back. His hips moved on their own. There were too many horrors, images growing and burning into his head but every moan that fell from her beautiful lips would eventually null them into dust with time.
He pulled his hand away from her neck and wrapped it to her jaw to keep her eyes locked to his.
“You should really be careful what you wish for, Ava.”
The low growl in his voice sent chills down her back.
-
 She hated the taste of the medicine she was given in the medical car the day before. In the coming days, her ticket would give her access to healing treatments for her muscles. She would have to eat her food slowly so her digestion system wouldn’t overwork itself. The strangest thing that made her happy was the feel of a fresh toothbrush.
Everything in her ached but the fresher ache from Curtis was very welcomed. She turned to her side, feeling her arm stretch over his stomach as he slept on his back. Ava opened a single eye. The last thing she had cared to remembered was her arms wrapping tightly around Curtis and her eyes safely shutting from exhaustion. She saw the bed above her. Around them were the smallest and flattest of the pillows that were provided.
Under her, she felt the rumble of the train. She would have to get used to everything. For now, she felt the comfort she was used to for so long.
She didn’t remember moving herself, but she didn’t care. She didn’t trust the mattress just yet. After two and a half years of running, she felt she would fall right through the mattress. For now, she had the few pillows under her and Curtis’ arms around her.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
She smiled at the sound of his voice. She lifted her to his warm smile.
“We may just have to break it in properly if you want.”
“You really shouldn’t tempt me.”
Curtis kissed the top of her head, feeling her clean dark hair on his healing lips.
“I thought I was going to wake up outside.”
“This really does feel like a dream.”
“We can stay here for a little longer. Sarah’s out and I’m not going anywhere. Appearances or no.”
Curtis pulled her closer to him so she wouldn’t disappear. No one would need them for hours.
“Thank you,” she whispered into his clean skin.
“You’re welcome,” he smiled as he wrapped the pulled covers tighter around them.
 -
 For such a big group, none of them could talk from what she could hear.
She could feel her knees wanting to shake. Soon, she would need to step out. Her sides hurt with excitement.
“You ready yet?”
Ava snapped her head up from her thoughts to Curtis. His coat was already on his shoulders. He could see the worry in her veins. He reached into her lap for his little girl, still asleep from the night before.
“Her fever went down. Panic from not wanting to admit a sick baby.”
“He’s here. Come on. Everyone’s ready and packed.”
“I can do this.”
“Fuck, right. Let’s go.”
Curtis shifted his baby in his arms. He slung a large bag over his free shoulder and a larger bag in his hand.
“Ava!”
Sarah sprung out of nowhere from the few other children and clutched with happiness on Ava’s pant leg.
“Good morning.”
“Mitzy made breakfast and everything is clean. Can we go now?”
“That’s what I’m here for lil’ lady.”
Sarah shot her grin to the guard waiting in the doorway to the cabin. Ava hurried past the ten sets of eyes that were hurrying for their final departure. No one knew what to expect.
“What now, Smith?”
Her eyes found two children, his children in the hall with full bags and smiles.
“I never got the chance to properly thank you.”
She saw the slight tremble of his lip. She quickly grabbed the door and hid what she could. Ava ignored Sarah at her leg and wrapped her arms tightly around the guard’s large shoulders.
“You don’t have to worry about a thing from now on,” she smiled, “I promise.”
He was quick to wipe his cheek and usher his small daughters forward.
“I-I’m sorry to ask this but it may take me hours to stay behind and situate the whole train with who we got left.”
“You never have to ask, Smith. I’ll take them for as long as you need. They’ll be with us when you get back.”
He gave his head a quick shake and nearly dove for his children.
“You gals be good and listen. For the love of God, you both fucking stay together and don’t leave Ms. Pierce’s side.”
Sarah reached out and took the girls by their hands.
“Jus’ follow me and Hope!”
Ava turned back to Curtis, listening from the side.
“If you wanted more kids, all you had to do was ask.”
She couldn’t resist his sly grin.
“Because you’d give me anything I want?”
“Damn fucking straight,” he softly hissed into her ear before turning away.
She bit the inside of her bottom lip and reached for her things. Everything was leading to this. She checked her watch. Each second hurt. God willing her oatmeal would stay down. Ava hurled both wide doors to the cabin and could here excitement throughout the train. Soon the closed environment would be slipping out from the metal seams.
She turned back.
“Everyone have their wristbands?”
A set of arms with bright orange plastic bands waved in the air.
“Good. I can’t do speeches and there’s nothing I can say to make this any bigger than this already is. The other spaces in the housing cars know what to do. We’ve made it this far. We only have to go home now. We’ve really made it.”
She felt Curtis’ hand slip into hers.
“Yeah, we did.”
The worry quickly fizzled, and she held her head a bit higher.
“Everyone get your things. We’re leaving now. Remember your orders and I’ll get you to the doors.”
In the corner of her turning eyes, she saw the organized scramble of the people she was able to help from the lower levels of the train. None were from the back car where she and Curtis started but there were worse places on the train. The cab was slowly and carefully picked apart. Nothing fancy was taken because it was already stripped down and repurposed.
Nothing went to waste. Not anymore.
A cry from the smallest member of the group got her attention. Curtis was already struggling.
“Here.”
Ava wrapped a long, thin curtain around her closed jacket and slipped the wiggling bundle close to her.
“There. Much better, my love.”
Hope’s little cheeks lifted to show a toothless smile. Ava wasted only a second to get lost in the blue eyes she’d gotten from Curtis.
“We’re almost home,” she softly cooed.
Zippers hit the side of swinging bags and feet slowly shuffled in the order decided. Ava was the first out the door as the long trail of the main housing guest car made their way to the start of the maintenance cars. Ten minutes, five minutes.
She could remember the terrifying shuffle. This time it felt unreal. Ava took a breath and braced the descending speed of the train. She ignored the soft whispers coming from her people. She knew what to do.
“Hey,” she whispered loud enough for everyone to hear, “You ready?”
There was a hiss that nearly made her jump out of her skin. Scraping metal. The blasting smell of fresh air. It all happened so fast. She turned her baby’s face away and closed her eyes. Soft sunlight blinded her at first but…
She opened her eyes and looked to the impossibly wide halls lined with single rows of staff waiting to greet the last bit of humanity. Ava took a strong step forward.
“Mrs. Pierce, I presume.”
“Yes and I have a temporary care of Private Officer Smith’s children as well. His information should have already reached you.”
She showed her orange band to the young woman in the crisp pantsuit. Her eyes shifted over Ava’s shoulder to the group filing behind and showing off their own bands.
“Very good. You may have well saved us a few hours. You and yours follow this way please?”
She last thing she saw was Curtis’ blue eyes as he helped moved Smith’s children forward with Sarah leading the way.
Ava strained herself to focus. Everything was a blur. Twelve hours and her people were all settled in their wing of a waiting sector. Sarah settled in with the other girls and other children of their group. All the adults paired with their own. Her guess was that everyone was sleeping. Soon, she would too.
She carefully placed Hope in the crib provided. Her finger slowly stroked her baby’s warm cheek.
“I hate that I’m gonna have to eventually tell you what happened out there.”
“Then she’ll know how we met.”
Ava watched as Curtis closed the door and set the lock to keep it that way.
“Where’ve you been all my life,” she giggled.
“Talking with Smith. He’s needed on the train the next few days. I told him we’d watch the girls.”
Curtis dropped the rest of his things and stretched his healed arms over his head. Ava couldn’t help but eye the bit of skin that showed itself as his shirt rode up. She had already changed, ready for when he would find her again. Ava felt herself growing antsy as Curtis took forever to kick off his boots.
“Sounds fine.”
“Excuse me, my eyes are up here.”
Ava rested her hands on his hips and smiled.
“You should really be worried about my hands, Mr. Pierce.”
“Should I, now?”
Curtis grabbed her hands and placed them on his shoulders.
“Or we could just not give a flying fuck.”
Ava enjoyed the joking contemplation of his bottom lip as his fingers messed with the front of her jeans.
“I would like that very much. Where should we start?”
She was quicker to reach for the hem of her shirt. The blur of white dropped to the nearest surface as Curtis was met with her smooth skin.
“Modest enough space this time. Everyone’s all tired out and no staff will bother us the next few days. I hear the beds are much firmer.”
“I’ll take it.”
He kissed her. Ava was glad his lips had fully healed and pressed hungrily to hers.
“I’d hope so,” she softly purred.
She kept her lips firmly to his. He tried to keep himself standing as he let her slowly led them to their room. He stopped for a moment and held her. Ava calmed herself and followed his lead. Their arms wrapped around each other and like that, she was ready to sleep.
“Don’t worry,” sighed Curtis, “I feel it too.”
He pulled her to bed, nearly tossing her to the middle. They tangled themselves together in no time and laid still. Ava could hear small noises, the settling of metal and clean air in the vents. Her face wasn’t used to smiling so hard.
“You were right about the bed.”
“Ugh. Quick rest?”
“Might as well.”
She giggled as she felt Curtis’ rough fingertips trace her bare back. Ava peacefully closed her eyes allowing herself to feel safe for the first time in a long while. 
-
Tagged: @808-anon, @angelus80 @angryschnauzer @antyc67 @atinyfangirl @audasia25 @damageditem @dangertoozmanykids101 @inkededucatednnerdy @itsjustelen @jennphoenix @justahopeless-dreamer​ @kimanne723 @lokilockedcougar @lovehiddles4everme @mazda098​ @missdibley​ @mrshiddelston​ @mypreciousmind1​ @nicole-stewart-loves-cookies​ @osb1anon​ @ourladybinxthings​ @peskipixi​ @prplprincez​ @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks​ @ririsutty​ @roamingbadger​ @sarabeth72​ @sevanya​ @shamvictoria11​ @starrynight35​ @siyoteodiara​ @startingtoenjoylife​ @texmexdarling​ @the-lady-mischief​ @tinaferraldo​ @tomkurbikston​ @vdcster​ @wolfsmom1​
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imagine-loki · 5 years ago
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Caught in his web, Chapter 7
TITLE: Caught in his web CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 7 AUTHOR: fanficshiddles ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki is a crime lord, a very dangerous man in the city. He is owed money, but the man is unable to pay Loki back, so Loki takes his daughter as payment instead.  RATING: M
‘Kneel.’ Loki demanded.
Chloe found herself sinking down to her knees on front of Loki.
As soon as he’d walked into her room she saw the bulge in his trousers and it was obvious what he was wanting when he started praising her about how luscious her lips looked.
‘Good girl. Now, don’t you dare think about using your teeth. I wouldn’t want to have to mark this pretty face of yours.’ Loki said in warning as he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.
Damn. That had been her plan, to hopefully hurt him enough to never trust her again. But she didn’t like the thought of being hit. Which she had a feeling is what he meant he would do.
Loki un-buckled his belt and pulled down his zip, then he took his cock out on front of her. She suddenly realised that she really didn’t want to be down here, about to do this. She was regretting not trying to run away, for obeying so easily. But frankly, after last night, she was pretty scared.
‘Open wide, pet. Who knows, if you do a good job there might be a reward for you.’ Loki purred.
Chloe closed her eyes and did her best to fight back tears, was this really what her life was going to be reduced to? A whore for the city’s most dangerous man? The thought sent horrible chills all the way through her.
Feeling the tip of Loki’s cock against her lips had her eyes flying wide open. She went to try and move away, but Loki reached down and gripped her hair tightly. ‘Ah, ah, ah. This is your first and final warning, if you don’t behave you will not like the consequences.’
Knowing she had no real option, she slowly opened her mouth. Loki took that opportunity and slid his cock straight into her mouth. At first, she did nothing. Just stayed still with her mouth hanging open while Loki fucked her, forcing his way down her throat a bit to make her gag.
‘You better start working, girl. You better please me.’
Chloe started moving her tongue, swirling it around him. She hoped if she did put some effort into it, maybe he would stop trying to choke her and then afterwards would maybe leave her alone for the rest of the day. Even though there was a niggle at the back of her mind that was telling her there was no chance of that happening.
Loki gripped her hair tightly to control her movements while she kept working her tongue on him. Every now and then he thrust his cock down her throat again until she would gag around him, making him moan. He enjoyed the look on her face, tears were falling down her cheeks and she was drooling down her chin. She was picture perfect…
He took his phone out of his pocket and snapped a picture, but she had her eyes closed because she was trying to imagine she was elsewhere. Maybe on a drunken night out and giving a quick blowjob to a hot guy out back. Anything was better than reality for her at that moment.
When Loki was ready to cum, he pulled out from her mouth and spilled himself all over her face. Making her look an even hotter mess. Which he snapped another picture of once he was able to think properly after his release.
‘Good girl, Chloe. That was delightful.’ He purred and tucked himself away.
She wiped her face the best she could, but she really was in a sticky mess. Loki straightened his tie out and then stepped in close to her again. ‘Go get cleaned up then come down for lunch.’
Chloe got up to her feet and couldn’t get away from him quick enough. Loki watched with a grin as she scurried away to the bathroom.
When Chloe was washed up and ready, she made her way downstairs. She was getting peckish, but she really didn’t want to spend time with Loki. She’d rather eat lunch with Ethan or Samuel, she thought.
Entering the kitchen, Loki was at the table already. In the same spot as he had been last night. She had flashbacks to when he had her over the table and was fucking her raw. She shivered and tried not to think about it, even though she could still feel the dull ache between her thighs.
Loki flashed her a smile and stood up to greet her. When he went over to her and put his hand to her back, she flinched. But he ignored that and guided her over to the same seat and sat her down, then pushed her chair in for her again.
‘I hope you like soup. It’s perfect for a chilly day like today.’ He sat down again and summoned the maid over with his hand.
The maid came over with bowls of soup for them both and also some fresh bread. Then she disappeared for a moment before returning with tea and coffee options. Chloe reluctantly asked for coffee. While Loki went for tea as usual.
‘How did you find your first night here?’ Loki asked casually.
‘I didn’t have any option. So all things considering, pretty crap.’ She snapped, then busied herself by tucking into the soup, which was really nice. She could certainly get used to the maids cooking, that was one plus.
‘You seemed to be sleeping very well when I checked in on you early this morning.’ Loki said calmly.
Her eyes widened and she glared at him. ‘You were watching me sleep?’ She hissed.
‘You are mine, and you are in my home. I can do whatever I want. You’d do well to remember that.’ He growled at her.
Chloe backed down a little, she said nothing and just looked down at her soup instead. She was starting to wonder whether she could get the maid on side and perhaps poison his dinner later. That would solve all her issues.
It was definitely not difficult for Chloe to forget that she was in Loki’s home, because after lunch he wanted her to join him in the cosier living room. On the way there, they passed by the front door and Chloe decided fuck it and tried to make a run for it.
She got out the door, surprised it wasn’t locked. But didn’t get far down the path when Loki’s security guard grabbed her arm and hauled her back inside to a pissed off looking Loki. He had his arms folded over his chest and an eyebrow raised up.
‘You are not prisoner in my home, Chloe. You can go anywhere in the house, since this is your home now, too. But you are not permitted to step foot outside without my express permission until you can prove to me that you are going to behave. Then, you can come and go as you please with your own escort.’
She never responded to that. She would rather rot in hell than play the role of a happy whore for him.
‘I can give you a good life, Chloe. You will want for nothing. But if you keep misbehaving like this, it’s only going to be more difficult on yourself.’ Loki said, stepping into her space and grabbing her cheeks roughly. She tried to pull away, but he didn’t let up on his grip.
‘You’ve already tried contacting the police once. Do you really think if you get out, that anyone will help you when you mention my name? Or that anyone will believe you? Hmm?’
Chloe’s nostrils were flaring, she was so angry. But she shook her head as best she could with his grip on her face. He then smiled and released her cheeks, instead stroking her hair softly.
‘Good. Now, come on.’ He grabbed her wrist and dragged her through into the living room. She really didn’t like way he was manhandling her, she dreaded to think what he was going to do.
Loki pushed her into the room and shut the door behind him. There was a bolt at the very top of the door, that he was able to reach easily to lock, but Chloe knew there would be no chance she would be able to reach it.
She darted to the other side of the room and moved herself behind the sofa. When she looked at Loki, she frowned as he just strolled over to a mini bar in the corner to pour himself a drink. It seemed he had a mini bar in every damn room of the house.
‘Sit, Chloe.’ He said firmly, his back to her while he poured the drink.
‘I’m not a dog.’ She snapped.
Loki chuckled. ‘No, a dog would be much better behaved than you are.’
‘Why don’t you get a dog then.’ Chloe grumbled.
He turned around and grinned wickedly at her. Before answering, he took a sip of his drink. ‘Because I am not into fucking dogs, Chloe.’
Loki was calm, too calm. It was making her feel even more on edge than if he shouted and screamed at her. He walked over towards the other sofa and placed his drink down on a small table at the side.
‘I am giving you one last chance, Chloe. Sit down.’ He stood up straight and looked at her, waiting.
Chloe hesitantly moved out from behind the sofa and slowly moved round to sit down on the edge, as far away from where he was stood as possible. Loki decided to allow her that, and sat down where he’d left his drink.
He enjoyed watching her squirm under his gaze, she couldn’t make eye contact with him.
‘Tell me about yourself, Chloe. What do you want to do with your life?’ Loki asked, swirling the ice around in his drink.
‘I… I want to get the hell out of here.’ She said through gritted teeth.
‘Well, we both know that is not going to happen. Come on, there must be a reason why you’re going to college soon. What are you going to study?’
‘Am I going to be able to go?’ She snapped.
‘Of course. I will not stop you from earning an education. On the contrary, I will be fully supporting you.’
Chloe wasn’t sure what to say to that. It felt like a trap or something. So she kept quiet, until Loki demanded she tell him what she was wanting to go to college for.
‘I want to be a fashion designer.’ She muttered.
Loki raised an eyebrow and nodded, impressed. ‘Nice choice. Not an easy career choice, though.’
‘No… it’s not.’ She kept looking down at her hands in her lap.
Loki kept asking her questions about college, she answered only when she absolutely had to. And she did her best to keep things short, hoping he would get bored soon. But he didn’t. Instead, he ended up moving over to sit next to her. That made her extremely uncomfortable. When she tried to shrink further away, he put a firm hand onto her thigh.
Things escalated quickly, much to her dismay. She found herself lying down on the sofa underneath Loki, while his hands sneaked up under her dress and fondled at her breasts. He latched his mouth onto her neck, sucking and nibbling over her skin to try and find her sweet spots.
‘Please, don’t.’ She whined and tried pushing at his chest, but it was like trying to shove a boulder.
Loki ignored her pleas and positioned himself better between her legs, she yelped when she could feel his bulge pressing on her when he started to grind against her.
She tried hitting him again and then attempted to scratch at his face. Loki grabbed her wrists and wrestled them into one hand, then pinned them above her on the arm of the sofa.
‘If you dare harm me, you will regret it. I promise you that.’ He snarled and bit down particularly hard on her neck, making her cry out.
After that, she just lay there and took it. Loki pushed her panties to the side, giving him the access he needed instead of removing them completely. He gave her the luxury of preparing her this time, using his fingers to coax her clit out of hiding which didn’t take long, to her utter shame.
He took her in a slow and gentle manner. Not at all like the firm grip he had on her wrists, making sure she stayed in place beneath him. Loki thought he should’ve taken her roughly, as punishment for trying to run away. But he couldn’t resist taking his time, to enjoy the feel of her warm and soft walls fluttering around him. Feeling her become wetter with every deep stroke of his cock.
‘Mmm, cum for me Chloe. Let me feel you orgasm while my cock is buried inside you.’ He purred, nuzzling her neck as he pushed his hips firmly against her.
‘N… No. Please.’ She whimpered.
It was one thing having him rape her. But it was another thing entirely when he made her cum from it too.
Loki growled in annoyance as he sneaked a hand down between their bodies so he could start playing with her clit. It got the desired reaction from her, she started wriggling again but now it was in pleasure as it started to build up rapidly inside her.
Loki started moving a bit quicker, not able to control himself. When she started to orgasm, Loki felt like he was in utter heaven. The way her body clamped down on him tightly and coated his cock in her cum.
Chloe was in a haze from the orgasm, but she managed to focus slightly. Realising that Loki was going to cum, too.
‘Not… Not in me… Please. No.’ She begged.
But her begging fell on deaf ears.
Loki’s panting and grunting became louder against her ear, his thrusts were no longer smooth and calculated, he was losing control inside her. No matter how much she tried to fight back, Loki was going to finish inside of her.
And he certainly did. Again.
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subukunojess · 5 years ago
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Banjo Blues
A Secret Satan Gift for @lt-lemonade
I am sorry this is so late, but a lot of personal issues were going on at the time along with my studies and I wanted to write a good drabble for you! They requested either a drawing or a fanfiction with several prompts and I picked:
“Wally X Sammy- Sammy singing him a song on his banjo”
I decided to get into practice with my BATIM fanfiction by using my Wally and Sammy from my Ink Gluttony AU. Might redesign or add more detail on them on a later date. It’s a nice ship and I tried to convey it as much as possible while also keeping into their character. Also wanted to try out a few concepts as well. I hope you like it and if you’d like more or if you want me to change anything feel free to ask!
By the way, the song that Sammy sings to Wally, I borrowed the melody from a cut Little Shop of Horrors song because it was the only song I could think of that’ll fit Wally’s bounce. It’s on YouTube and if you’d like a link, I’ll provide it!
Without further ado, here is the drabble under the cut! I hope you enjoy.
For Samuel Lawrence, Joey Drew Studios was chaotic and mundane at the same time. Work was much more simple in the early years. Back then, it was a small studio with only a few employees in charge of their own section. Henry drew the cartoons, Joan would help Henry with drawing and writing up ideas, Norman was in charge of projectors, Sammy himself was in charge of music, Wally would clean up the studio, random people would show up to help out here in there including some repair man named Tom, and then Joey Drew would oversee them all while sticking his nose on everything he could.
But now? Now things were much bigger. More complex. It wasn't until recently that Sammy found out he was more content with the old set-up even though he would have said otherwise in the past. He'd stay in his designated room, writing and playing his music for the studio until a bigger musical opportunity showed up for him. Needless to say, it didn't. When he got his own spacious department along with an entire orchestra at his command, Sammy was thrilled that Drew saw his full potential. What he didn't count on was the increased work load. Or the incompetent workers. Or the excessive amount of questionable ink. Or a little ink demon running around. Or a number of other things that made the man pull his brown hair out.
It was just another night at the studio in New York City. Some of the employees stayed overtime to make ends meet. By some, it meant a few animators, writers, and Sammy especially. Sammy walked out of his office, wiping his forehead with a handkerchief to clean some of the ink away. He sighed. The amount of ink Joey provided seemed to increase every year and it was getting everywhere from toilets to instruments to his very office. He'd complain out loud another time. For now, Lawrence wanted to check on his instruments to inspect the day's damages. Sluggish, he trudged down the hallway before turning to what he dubbed the orchestra room, only to stop and stare as he found someone sitting by a piano.
It was a familiar red-haired man with overalls and a light brown cap on, his chestnut, blank eyes staring at the keys below. His shoulders were leaning against his lap as he slowly pressed against one of the keys with a finger, letting out a soft sigh.
Out of all the fools Sammy had ever met in the studio, none of them took the cake like Wally Franks did. Figuratively and literally. Whether it'd be losing his keys, slipping on ink down the hallways, or attempting to eat Sammy's chocolate cake, the young man was quite the cheerful handful. At least for Sammy. To see the sole janitor in such a somber state unnerved him, however.
"Wally, what are you doing? Are you feeling well?" Sammy asked, his voice croaked with at least some concern. Instead of jumping in reaction like Wally would normally do whenever someone was talking to him, the man turned his head to glance at the music director standing behind him. Sammy could see slight bags under his eyes as if he had aged along with the studio.
"Nothin' much, Sammy. I'm just missin' ol' Bubba, that's all." He shrugged, going back to plunking the piano keys. "Jay and Tom says he's gonna be sick for a while. I know he needs ta get betta, but things are gettin' tough around here. Ya know what I'm saying?"
Sammy sat down on the bench next to Wally with a nod. "Ah, yes. That's what you call Bendy. I haven't seen him as of late. And things are always tough here, both in and out of the studio."
"Yeah, but not like this! No one's smiling anymore. All everyone does is rush off and complain. I know some of it's hard work, but we're makin' cartoons for people for cryin' out loud! We're supposed ta be smilin' and laughin'!" Wally threw his arms up in the air, before dropping them to his side. "I dunno... wheneva' I'm with Bubba, we always cheer each otha up. Maybe I'm startin' ta lose hope..."
As Sammy listened in, he felt something tug at his chest. Guilt? Sympathy? Whatever it was, he knew that he didn't like seeing Wally in this state. Plus, Sammy wasn't much of a people or feeling person. He communicated well with music. And it was then that an idea popped up in his head. Telling the other to wait a moment, Sammy got up and went across the room to retrieve his banjo, his favorite, personal instrument. He dragged a stool as well to sit in front of Wally, placing his banjo in position and tuning it. Once it was tuned, Sammy's fingers pressed against the strings when he froze.
What kind of song should he play?
One of Sammy's talents was analyzing a person for a period of time and figuring out what kind of song would they be. What type of instrument and tempo. At the moment, however, he didn't know what type of song to play. He knew this piece called for something to say, but he didn't know what.
He wasn't much for lyrics like Jack Fain, but it was worth a shot to improvise. Sammy wasn't much for prayers either, but there was a first time for everything.
Please, if there is a Lord up there, help me with the right words to say, Sammy prayed in his mind as he closed his eyes. His fingers rested on top of the strings as he slowed his breathing. Suddenly, he felt a presence in the back of his mind that had seeped in from nowhere. It was warm and familiar. He started strumming on his banjo and opened his eyes, his emerald eye changed into a blazing orange while the blue one remained intact.
"When it's time to sweep up the inkwells, who is Bendy's pal?" Sammy sang as he strummed the strings, taking a pause as he looked to Wally, seeing if he would respond. He was met with a couple of blinks in the eyes.
Sammy continued playing, "When it's time to pick up the damn keys, who is there to raise our morale?"
As the music director's song became much more vibrant, Wally's eyes widened as he listened to the words and music. It was bouncy. It was unpredictable. It was... about him? The janitor must have died because Sammy would never make up a song for anyone, especially him. Eager to listen more, Wally sat up in attention.
"In this place of demons and big smiles, here's who you give thanks." Sammy was getting the hang of it now, a smile growing on his face as he leaned forward to Wally with eyes that seemed to glow with life. "Not Alice Angel and Boris, too. Not Tom or Norman or Joey Drew. You tip your hat to the bumbling wonder of Wally Franks!"
He paused for a good minute, then added, "And then Bendy, Alice, and Boris pop up and sing 'Wally, Wally, Wally Franks'!" Sammy tried to imitate Bendy's voice as best he could, tilting his head from side to side as he ended the song sticking his tongue out.
At that, Wally burst into rolling laughter and fell off of the bench, holding his own sides as his freckled cheeks turned cherry red. Sammy blushed as well, averting his gaze to the side as his orange eye faded back to green. He couldn't help but let out a chuckle.
"Oh gee, that was great! Ya sound almost like Bubba! Nice voice for 'im!" Wally continued to laugh until his sides hurt, then he gradually breathed and sat up. "How did ya come up with them words anyways?"
"I don't know." Sammy shrugged with honesty as he lifted his banjo a bit in thought. "It just came to me like that." The janitor slowly stood up and wiped a tear away from his eye before placing a hand on Sammy's shoulder.
"Well, whateva' it is, I like it! You should smile more, Sammy. It suits ya!" He patted his shoulder, then tipped his own hat. "Thanks for the song. Ya made me feel betta. I gotta go make sure there ain't too much spills around. I'm outta here!" Wally then left with a wave in his hand and a smile on his face.
Sammy Lawrence watched him leave the room with a dumbfounded stare, his cheeks still blushing in awe. Wally really was a wonder. He placed his banjo down, then wiped his face to inspect the ink. To his shock, the stains in the palm of his hand were glowing a dull orange. He felt the familiar presence sitting in his mind as if looking in. The music director blinked and glanced up at the ceiling.
"... Bendy?"
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birthdaylobotomy · 5 years ago
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my short story start
In my mother’s home, there was a painting. A lovely painting, if somewhat amateur. And on the canvas displayed a unicorn, with pale, shining ivory skin that seemed to glow against the mossy greens and shadowed trees in the background. It had lacy chin hair like a goat, but a curly and long mane much like a horse. 
As a child, I remember playing with my train sets and old toy cars under that painting. I remember the late summer breeze that would flow into the house and the creaking wooden halls that would shutter under my every move. That painting was something magical to me, something to be stared at and admired, but never questioned, or even acknowledged when talking to my mother. 
It was as if, if I said a word about it, it would disappear. Cease to exist, and remain like a ghost in the echoes of my memory forevermore. 
My mother died when I was four years old. And I was taken to live with my grandmother, a cruel woman who lived in Philadelphia. That house in England was stolen from me, ripped from my childish hands and I was never given a single say. That old shivering blue house, which I remember so clearly, a stranger. And just as I feared, the painting was lost to me. 
Even now, as I wait here for Amelie’s funeral to end, I remember such things. 
My cousin beside me weeps, her blonde curly hair dull and flat and she wipes her eyes and sniffs to hold back sobs. And I think of my childhood home. I think of the swingset behind the house, which my mother would sit on those days she felt so melancholic. 
The casket begins to lower in the frosty ground. Jamie clings to my arm as she scrapes away her tears. “This is so sad,” is all she can whisper. 
“Do you want to go out to eat after this?” I begin to slowly lead her away. We’ve had enough of this by now. I look up to give a wave to my Aunt Regina, with her hands on her youngest son’s shoulders as he, puffy-faced and red, put on a tough face. She nods, her face tired and grey. 
“Yeah. Maybe pizza or something.” She gives out one last long, shaky sigh. “God. Isn’t this sad?” 
“It is.” Snow crunches under my stiff black shoes. It had nearly been a blizzard the night before. Of course, we couldn’t cancel. Not often do you have your funeral on your birthday. “Pizza sounds good.”
As Jamie closes the passenger door, I hear my name being shouted. I turn, and I see my cousin. 
“August, please wait a minute.” The chubby young man takes a few sharp breaths as he stomps over a pile of snow. “Will you?”
I dig a cigarette out of my pocket. “Of course.” Jamie taps on the window, and she and Cousin Ian exchange a shy wave. 
“Who’s she?” He digs something out of his coat pocket as I set a light. “She’s pretty. Girlfriend?”
“She’s your cousin.” 
He pauses to awkwardly blink for a few seconds, I take a puff, and he cheekily elbows me in the side. “Aw, shut up. Whatever, we’ve got a big family.”
I roll my eyes only to have a paper pointed at me. 
I look to Ian to see his expression darkened. “This is a letter that Amelie wanted to give you before she died,” he says as I take the envelope. I flip it over to see the thin, cursive letters spelling out my name. “Um, she didn’t. But I was the one to find it, so I felt like I had to be the one to get it to you.” 
Something in me hardens. “Thanks, Ian.” We give each other a pat, a goodbye, and turn away. 
“Was that Ian?” Jamie asks as I sit down. Her eyebrows are stitched together, and she’s staring at the envelope. 
“Shit, it’s cold in here.” I jam the key in place and the old vehicle seizures into life. “And yeah.” 
“Oh.” She fixes her blotchy eye makeup in the rearview mirror, and without looking at me continues, “It’s weird seeing him. He was like, a baby last time I saw him.”
“That’s funny.” But I’m not smiling. No, I don’t feel much of anything as I tear the envelope open. It’s scary, in a small way. Amelie was my grandmother, the woman who tormented me for years. The rigid bitch who fucked me up to the point the minute I turned thirteen I ran away to France to live with my mother’s sister, my Aunt Regina. The same woman who raised Jamie, despite her not being either of our mother’s. 
A hand touches mine. “Are you nervous?” Jamie’s eyes melt into mine. I must shield myself. The only person to ever make me cry was Jamie, and I know just looking at her, naked like this-
I wave it away. “No.”
I open it, and with one hand on my shoulder, Jamie reads:
August,
I have been meaning to speak to you for about one year now. I have come to regret some things with how you were raised under me. But what I regret most is not understanding you and not letting you understand me. Your mother was a bad daughter to put it kindly. You have been left in the dark by both she and I and I think, since you are now 22, you deserve the truth. However, a letter could not deliver the truth in a way that would make you understand. 
Your father was a shameful excuse for a man. He was a horror to know, and when he abandoned Grace I told her I would be there for her, though she would be required to live under my rules. Not only did she not listen, but she deiced to cut all communication off from not only me but everyone in the family. It was a very painful time for me and I became bitter. 
Grace met your father through a group of unruly young artist-type people, most of which were political radicals. The whereabouts of your father are unknown to me, however I do have the address, and only the address, of your mother and father’s mutual friend named Samuel Blau. 
August, I have reason to believe that your father was involved in some sort of grand theft. Find the painting. 
-Amelie
Snow falls softly around the car. My fingers are numb. And Jamie begins to cry. Of course that old witch would do this. She did it when she was alive. 
I flick on the radio. “Let’s get going, now.”
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sarkywoman · 4 years ago
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I was tagged by @unrememberedskies! Answer 10, ask 10, tag 10 people. Except I’m just gonna answer 10. 
1. What was your first fandom? Are you still a part of it?
Depends. Buffy the Vampire Slayer was the first time I engaged with other fans consuming fan content and making my own. That was back when I was about 14. The school librarian thought I was so studious lol, on those computers all the time... alas, I was looking at webrings about Spike and Xander. One could make a case for Red Dwarf, which I loved my whole life, owned merchandise and VHS tapes of the blooper reels and watched every ep, memorised the scripts etc, but I think of fandom as something creative/interpretive, which I never did with RD. I wouldn’t say I’m still part of either fandom, though I never stopped being a fan.
2. Current self care method(s)?
Uhh, I do to-do lists. Start of the year I set some goals like I was in an MMO: dailies, weeklies, monthlys, an annual goal and the lifetime love: writing. I try and strike off four things a day, changing up what those things are every once in a while to tackle new issues. I suffer hard with depression and doing something makes me feel I’m not totally failing at life. 
3. What are three (3) shows you keep meaning to binge watch but haven’t yet?
I have an A4 page with three columns of show titles to watch... ;_; I have zero attention span for new shows lol, I literally have to put ‘watch TV’ on my to-do list or I won’t do it.
4. Do you stay active in fandoms after a new one catches your eye, or are you more a one at a time person?
Oh, I try. Lord how I try. But no, I move on. Someone actually once posted a fandom secret on LJ about how they hoped my new fixation would crash and burn so I’d go back to writing for my old fandom. I took it as a compliment XD
5. What was the last movie you saw with someone else? What would you rate it?
I think it was Birds of Prey? I enjoyed it, then actually enjoyed it more on the rewatch, once I knew what was going to happen and could look at the themes and appreciate the way they’ve written Harley without being at the edge of my seat growling “WHERE IS HUNTRESS SHE IS WHY I’M HERE?!?!”
6. Favorite guilty pleasure?
Um, I dunno. There are a few people who try to make me feel bad for liking things that they deem ‘childish’ but I figure I’ll just keep making it clear they can fuck right off. I only get one life and it’s not turning out great, if I want to read comics and play computer games in between trying to get tedious adult shit sorted out, then I will.
7. What’s a highly underrated show/movie/book series that you would recommend?
Show: Dirk Gently’s Holistic Detective Agency. Specifically season one, which was just so damn weird and wonderful and had Samuel Barnett acting his socks off as an adorable sunshine man while telling an unusual story about not being perfect but making the effort to be better. Season two was okay, but didn’t thrill me in quite the same way.
Movie: This won awards and has been critically acclaimed so probably doesn’t count, but I see a lot on tumblr about how Joker sucked or was problematic or whatever. As a neurodivergent person in a few ways, that film blew my fucking socks off. I cried. I went to see it four times. He gets seen, but only once he’s beyond saving. 
Book: Terry Pratchett’s Discworld is the only fantasy I’ve ever felt worth reading. Again, I struggle to determine what’s ‘underrated’, the question probably wants something obscure, but I’m not hipster enough for that XD So I qualify this as if anyone hasn’t read Discworld novels, they’re being unfairly underrated because everyone should read them. I like the night watch ones best and I’m gutted they’re making a show inspired by them that will look nothing like them and carry nothing of the themes and fun. 
8. Any new hobbies you’ve started during quarantine? Any you want to start?
I’m still working :/ Other than that, keeping up with my usual. Writing, studying very basic Law, gaming, tidying/cleaning. This week I’ve cracked out my old roleplay books and started generating UA character templates for fun. Oh, I vaguely started studying Latin too. I read Great Expectations, which was kind of dull. Now I’m reading a book about Nuclear War propaganda in the UK. 
9. What meme do you wish would just die already?
Tiger King ones because I haven’t seen it and I’m out of the loop XD
10. Spread the love to your followers and post at least one link to a fic you’re reading/have read/wish to read/you’ve written yourself/etc.
I don’t read nearly enough these days but All That I have to Lose by @unrememberedskies is a delightful piece of Kliego angst, @spikeymarshmallows recently wrote an OD Kliego bit called a steady beep that’s a bit of angst set in her otherwise-mostly-peaceful/sexy museum ‘verse. Now that netflix is showing Community again let me tell you that @freshgratednutmeg wrote me whore!Jeff once, Transactional Methods and Theories. As for my own fic, it’s on my AO3 here. (My highest kudos work is an utterly self-indulgent vampire Game of Thrones AU called ‘Noble Blood’, go figure, but my writing improves as time goes on. If you’re into Borderlands, I’m still very proud of my Rhack fic, ‘Young God’.)
Tagging: Anyone who wants to do it!
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