#♦ ( headcanon. ) tell me where to put the anger.

[j4degoyl]

give me a second to introduce you to 3 people who might also make an appearance/be mentioned in will's bg3 verse (bc they are important in every verse). I don't want to make full verses for them too, so this is just yupposed to give you a general idea.

jacob. will's older brother & a human rogue. he's made himself a name as one of the most successful treasure hunters in all of faerûn. in their childhood jacob protected will from every source of harm, but after their father's disappearance he grew more distant, staying away from home more & more. will still loves him a lot (and vice & versa) & they where desperately searching for a cure together when the hag cursed will with the stone skin. after being kidnapped, will now hopes to find jacob again in baldur's gate.

fox. a half elf & very talented shapeshifter, who prefers (surprise) a fox's appearance. jacob once saved her from a trap & she's been at his side ever since. many claim that he's only that successful because of her & they are right actually. fox is the only one who can understand will's difficult feelings towards the new skin & it brought them closer together. will adores her to pieces tbh.

nerron. a githyanki who was deemed the weakest of the hatch & had to fend for himself from an early age. he's jacob's strongest rival in the treasure hunting business. he & will travelled together for a while & at first the plan was to kill will as a revenge on jacob after he beat nerron in the hunt for a particularly important object. what nobody anticipated is that they fall in love, so now will is gonna force everyone to get along :))

[j4degoyl]

my favourite headcanon for the b.g3 verse so far is that A.lfira gifted Will her mentor‘s lute after they helped her & at first they are hesitant to actually play, but eventually they sometimes take out the lute during the many campfire nights (usually at somebody‘s request). He‘s used to a guitar, so it takes some practise to adjust to the new instrument & Will also asks A.lfira for lessons whenever their paths cross.

The funniest part is that most of the time Will starts playing the melody of a song from our world, bc they know those so much more intimately than those from F.aerûn & if one of the companions asks about the song Will is like oh it just came to my mind 😅😅

[j4degoyl]

will + gender & sexuality

I've always seen something inherently queer in Will's whole journey that deeply resonates with me: Pushing a part of yourself down for so long, until that no longer works, finding freedom in accepting yourself, especially that certain part, but also struggling with that acceptance & others not being able to understand. So this is a big topic in my portrayal that I want to explore more with this post.

part one: sexuality

For a long time Will didn't actually have a word for it, but ever since he was young he had crushes on boys and girls. They never really questioned it, for them it just seemed normal. Of course eventually he did realize that most of his friends didn't feel the same way, but that was when other things took precedence over questions of sexuality & Will was busy keeping up with school & take care of his mother, whose health slowly began to deteriorate. It wasn't until their early 20s that Will actually learned about the label bisexual & felt it resonated with them. There were a few instances like drunkenly kissing a friend at a party, that made him think he might be gay for a while, but then Clara came along & made it clear that his attraction wasn't limited to men. She was his first true relationship & she'll always have a special place in their heart.

part two: gender (or the absence of it)

So that whole journey didn't really start until the events of the first book. For most of their life, there'd been moments when something about being called a boy didn't sit quite right with Will, but they always moved on & ignored that nagging feeling in his stomach as well as the wish to look more like certain women he saw on the street. But experiencing goyl culture changed something in him & brought that whole issue to the surface again. This is my own headcanon, but I believe goyl have no concept of gender, it's not something they're defined by. And witnessing that, being a part of it, feels very freeing to Will. While many memories of that time are lost after the curse is broken, they do still remember how good that freedom felt and it sets a whole big thought proccess in motion.

Eventually they come out to Clara as non-binary, using they/them pronouns, as well as he/him. Usually he's fine with male pronouns, it doesn't bring him discomfort, but of couse there are days when he strongly prefers neutral ones & will express that if necessary. In general both sets of pronouns should be respected & if someone used one exclusively (especially male ones) they will notice & call that person out. In general Will gains a lot of confidence with that coming out and is much more comfortable experimenting with clothes & makeup (not that this necessarily has to be a part of the non-binary experience & makes someone "less manly" or anything, but for Will personally those become ways to express themself).

In general there's also definitely still a lot of uncertainty in Will, as he just started to fully explore this side of himself, though for now the labels he chose for himself just feel right.

[j4degoyl]

will + his brother jacob

note : This is mostly an exploration of Will's perspective & a deep dive into certain quotes, mainly from the first book. if anything is unclear or you want me to elaborate just let me know!!

Little brother. Will followed him like a puppy, and Jacob protected him in the schoolyard and in the park. Sometimes he even managed to forgive Will that their mother loved him more. (Reckless: The Petrified Flesh, Chapter 1 "Once Upon A Time")

Nothing had ever been able to shake Will’s trust in him, not even all the years during which Will had barely seen him. There had been too many times Jacob had protected him on school yards and playgrounds, Will and the injured birds and stray dogs he found everywhere. And all his friends who, equally gentle and wide eyed, were so easily pushed around by bullies. ‘I get my brother. He is not afraid. Of anything.’ Everybody is afraid of something. But that wasn’t a truth to reveal to one’s little brother. (Reckless: The Petrified Flesh, Chapter 6 "Truth or Lie")

As a younger sibling (at least in my experience) there is usually a pivotal trust in the older one, a sense of safety that comes with the conviction that you have someone who looks out for you & guides you. Will certainly feels that in regards to his older brother Jacob. Jacob has always been there for them, helped them through so many little injuries & nightmares. The two of them seem so vastly different in both character and appearance, with Will being the splitting image of their mother, while Jacob takes after their father & yet they are close. But their bond gets disrupted violently when their father leaves the family (Will is 7 years old at that point). Jacob's way to deal with the grief is running away to a different world. He only occasionally returns with gifts & new fairytale stories for his sibling, though the rift between them is unavoidable. The visits become more sparse & Will is left alone to deal with his own pain & his mother's. & while they shove down their darker emotions, a part of Will keeps clinging to the childish belief that Jacob will come. Is it genuine trust or more out of habit? Will themself can't tell anymore. I'm convinced that him entering the mirrorworld that Jacob keeps disappearing to is also a sign of Will giving up. Their brother won't take them with him, so Will is going alone - leading to the fateful encounter with goyl & Will's skin turning into stone as a result.

Jacob. Even his brother’s name sounded different. How was it possible that he had never noticed how much pain clung to it. Had he forgotten how often he had called that name without receiving an answer? Empty rooms, empty days. He had left them alone, him and their mother, like the man who called himself their father. All those years in that vast empty apartment. Waiting for his brother, who came and left as he pleased, until more and more often he had wondered lying in his bed whether he had just dreamt him up. His fearless older brother, who would come and protect him from the bad dreams that kept him awake so many nights. But he hadn’t come and sometimes Will had lain awake all night waiting for him. (Reckless: The Petrified Flesh, Chapter 18 "Whispering Stone")

While the earlier quote shows Jacob's side & him still being sure of Will's trust, this one shows the other side of it & that Will does actually struggle with the conflicting emotions regarding their brother. Yes, there are all those memories of Jacob being present & protecting him, but those are now displaced by the absence, by the memories of utter loneliness. & due to the transformation this anger is finally coming to the surface & Will is forced to confront it. Yes, the love will always be there, though they can no longer play the part of the younger sibling with complete faith, because that has been shattered. At this point Will snapping is pretty much inevitable.

“Fight it!” he said. “This time I can’t do it for you.” Will got to his feet. His movements gave away his growing strength, and it was a long time ago that he had barely reached up to Jacob’s shoulders. “Do it for me?” he repeated. “When did that last happen? When I was seven? You still believe mom and I had a fairy tale time while you were hunting for glass shoes and Witch combs, don’t you? I guess I was quite good at making you believe we did. But what about her?” There it was again. The anger. An anger Jacob didn’t know in his brother. Or had he just not seen it? (Reckless: The Petrified Flesh, Chapter 21 "His Brother's Keeper")

I think this scene is so important in the development of their relationship, because Jacob is now forced to see the truth and face the guilt he'd always felt about leaving Will behind. Guilt being a stronger motivator than love is a big theme throughout the books and it definitely plays a big role in them trying to find a cure for Will's transformation. Jacob feels very much responsible for what happened & deep down he & Will are both aware of that being a motivation. & their relationship becomes in a way even more complicated after the curse is lifted and Will is turned back into a human. They never wanted Jacob to give his own life & a part of them is also angry about not even getting a choice in the whole matter. Plus Will feels like that big gesture is supposed to absolve his brother of his past mistakes & that just doesn't sit right with him, no matter how much he wishes to go back to what they once had.

For most of the books the brothers are on their separate journeys (which is very important, since they both have different things to work through individually), but a moment I also keep coming back to is their reunion in "The Silver Tracks" (book 4):

He hesitated for an incredulous moment as he realized who was coming toward him. Then he walked up to Jacob and hugged him as tightly and as long as he had as a child. (Reckless: The Silver Tracks, Chapter 2 "Brothers")

Like yes, there's a lot between them, a lot of pain and bitterness. But at the end of the day they still do love each other & Will is so glad to see Jacob alive and well. For the next book I just want them to get a chance to actually talk through everything properly.

[j4degoyl]

also if you’re will‘s friend - at this point there are two spare rooms in the reckless appartement & they will literally always let you crash there. usually he‘ll prepare jacob’s bedroom, because he rarely needs it anyway. their mother‘s former bedroom is a more touchy subject tho. will wants to give it a new purpose, perhaps as an actual guest room, but they couldn‘t bring themself to change anything in there yet.

[j4degoyl]

ofc i'm thinking about will & christmas today & how much it changes over the years. they have a lot of happy memories of their childhood, the whole family celebrating together, their grandparents visiting & playing with will & jacob etc. & as so many things christmas too changes dramatically after their father is gone. I feel like Jacob won't even always come back from the M.irrorworld & if he does it usually ends in an argument between him & their mother, with will desperstely trying to mediate. until will's brother disappears to his room (or back through the mirror). from then on that holiday always leaves will with a bitter taste, it only mainfests that something is inevitably broken, that nothing will be the same again. eventually Clara and he celebrate together & he tries to enjoy it for her sake & at least to an extend he can.

[j4degoyl]

does will have a favourite book?

as someone who loves to read, this has always been difficult to answer for will. but he always had a special fondness for fairytales & while (thanks to his german grandpa) he grew up with the ones collected by the brothers g.rimm his favourites where the more bittersweet ones by ha.ns c.hristian a.ndersen (the s.now q.ueen & the little m.ermaid in particular). when it comes to classics they enjoyed r.obert l.ouis s.tevenson’s works a lot (apart from the obvious dr je.kyll & mr h.yde especially st i.ves) & the poems by r.ainer maria r.ilke.

[j4degoyl]

the thing about Will is he never got to choose a career for himself. when their friends started going to college was when their mother‘s health began to deteriorate in a way that made it impossible for her to be on her own ( a broken heart caused by her husband‘s betrayal & disappearance, never to be mended, no matter how hard Will tried ). with his brother also running away to the M.irrorworld more often than not, only Will could take care of their mother & it felt wrong to entrust someone else with it. so for the next years that became his life & while Rosamunde surely would‘ve supported Will‘s future, he never really brought it up. perhaps it was easier that way, not thinking about the uncertainty ahead & what they wanted to do with their life.

If fate & his longing hadn‘t brought him to the M.irrorworld too after his mother‘s death, I think Will would‘ve ended up in the music industry. not necessarily as an artist but something like sound engineer. Will tried a few open mics, though performing infront of a crowd ended up scaring them too much & they simply prefer to play for those close to them.

[j4degoyl]

10. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity? 46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen? 52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

CHARACTER QUESTIONS! | @antigodeus

10. What fact do they excitedly tell everyone about at every opportunity?

So I was very torn between something music or fairytales related for this (because Will has always been obsessed with both), but then my own book shelf gave me the answer: Will grew up with the Grimm fairytales & a fascination for their origins, especially given their mother's german heritage. He eventually stumbled upon the story of the forgotten Grimm brother Ferdinand (1788-1845), who also happened to collect stories, just not as successfully. He was the first of the brothers to die and was generally an outsider in the family, mostly due to his homosexuality. Long story short: reading about that definitely touched Will & now he never fails to mention Ferdinand when the opportunity presents itself.

46. Are they a listener or a talker? If they’re a listener, what makes them talk? If they’re a talker, what makes them listen?

He's definitely a listener. In general Will is a more introverted person with deep anxiety, so they'll gladly let others talk. He loves listening & learning more about the other person through it. I guess what makes him talk is just when he feels passionate about something? And they can also not bear any injustice, especially not when animals are concerned. So if you either truly catch their interest or trigger their sense of justice, there might be an unexpected stream of words from Will.

52. Do they act on their immediate emotions, or do they wait for the facts before acting?

You know, that's actually difficult to answer, because Will is usually perceived as a very rational, cautious person in the pov of others. But that's more due to Will having to step up and take responsibity for himself & his mother at a young age. They had no choice but to act carefully. Still I do see a change throughout the story: Will is naturally much more inclined to act on impulses and emotions (just like their brother) & there are multiple instances when they allow themself to do just that. I think Will is still figuring out a balance between those two extremes, between the version of himself he had to present to everyone for so long & the truth buried underneath.

[j4degoyl]

actually hold on a sec, let me get more into the complex relationship will has with love: it's quite clear that even at a young age he sees how his parents struggle with it & I think when John leaves eventually it only confirms for Will that somehow it wasn't enough. that his father didn't love his mother as much as she loved him. Will is also the one who becomes a witness to her pain, who sees her heart breaking beyond repair after she's left behind. And I think that triggers a deep fear in Will, both of feeling so strongly one day and of being the one who inflicts this heartache.

With Clara things are so easy, so safe. Will is so terribly afraid of messing it up, of repeating their parent's mistakes, that they start to play a part, at least to an extend. He tries to be the best partner, but in the end the facade still crumbles & in the confusion that follows the transformation into a goyl & back they still break up. And while Will knows it's for the best guilt still haunts him & the horrible thought that he isn't better than John Reckless after all ("Would someone someday beat him up for the pain he had caused Clara?").

And I believe Nerron challenges everything he thought they knew about love in a different way. For the first time Will is allowing someone to see all of him & he isn't judged for it at all, quite the opposite actually. But it also scares the heck out of them to have these strong emotions, because they saw how it can go if you love someone this deeply. For me this is also a main reason why Will hasn't talked about his feelings for Nerron yet (barely even acknowledges them in his own pov). This is simply a door they aren't ready to open yet.

[j4degoyl]

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