#♡. luka.about ⁄ ⁄ to believe in something better .

[astrummorte-m]

what type of "oh" are you?

the always-knew.

you don't need an "oh" to know how you feel about them but it leaves your lips anyway. they're laughing, smiling, dancing, something that they love to do so often, and just like every other time they've done so, you're smiling along with them. they're love personified for you, in all their beautiful, messy, confusing glory. they're pulling you into a dance, they're painting with their new pencils on your skin, they're doing everything they can to be near you. you always knew how you felt. you're just waiting on them to know too.

[astrummorte-m]

which of my homebrew final fantasy classes are you?

black mage.

stubborn, stubborn! you do things your way and no other, and people who try to get you to change often find themselves frustrated. you are a person who finds that their way is working, so there's no need to change it. "if it's not broke, don't fix it" taken to an extreme. you're enchanted by the belief that madness is what you get when you try the same thing over and over again without changing anything. after all, trying again and again is what's worked for you before! you embrace the prospect of madness, and you love the thought of doing more for less. be careful it doesn't break you.

[astrummorte-m]

what specifically named color do you embody?

harlequin

you're the life of the party, the one who everyone goes to for a laugh! you find it easy to be around people, and people find it easy to be around you! there are few moments where you don't have a person next to you, and there are few moments where you aren't talking. but… you value the quiet moments more than anyone else- more than any other person alive, you value the solace of solitude, and the ones who stayed the longest and continue to stay longer are the ones who stand beside you in silence as the day moves past you. you value the hard work of friendship, and the dedication of family - found or blood. you are you, before you are anyone else's.

[astrummorte-m]

let me psychoanalyze you but also be nice

you're unbelievably lonely

maybe the teacher always sat next to you on the bus because it was the only open seat on field trips. maybe you were the fourth kid in the group project who was only there because they needed one more person. maybe you spent all of 7th grade lunch in the library. i think it's important to remember that it won't always be like that. it might take longer than expected but nobody is alone forever. sometimes it's hard to remember that just because you've felt unloved before, it doesn't mean you're unloved now.

[astrummorte-m]

what is your primary feeling in longing?

hope

In longing, you feel hope. You're on a long road, you know this. Your desire is strong, big in your chest but you don't feel weighed down. You've had your hardships, but you know what you truly seek is, or could be, not far from your grasp. Not to say you don't feel the burning in your heart for something more, but theres still a spark in you, a voice that says, "don't give up, what if?" You can be patient. You know you must be. Your yearning is felt like a campfire in rain, the circumstances say the flame should be out, but yet it burns, as long as god willing or sheer effort keeps it alive. You feel the pull in your gut that makes your throat tighten with the ache of your heart but you softly smile, it's just a reminder of your love. You aren't afraid of your feelings in the way that would make you push them away because you're familiar with them and you know the payoff would be well worth the grief. You're doing great my darling, you will find your love if you have not already.

[astrummorte-m]

how does it feel to be loved by you?

it feels like home

you're the kind of person that makes people feel safe. you probably couldn't be intimidating if you tried, but that doesn't matter. what matters is your kindness and compassion, your innate way of making people feel happy. you're so good at taking care of everybody else, but don't forget to take care of yourself, too! you deserve the same love you give so freely

[astrummorte-m]

what were your hands made to do?

nourish

Maybe you should invest in flour. You work, work hard and sometimes you feel like that’s all you can do. That it'll never pay off. But there’s no greater feeling than to see the joy you bring to others, to see them succeed with the tools you gave them. You may not be a leader, but a leader’s spine, shoulders, ribs. You are the dawn before the sun. It’s sweet, too sweet, but it’s better than nothing. You are endless golden fields, salt of the earth, and the lives of all who devour it.

[astrummorte-m]

which type of romanticism are you?

deep romanticism

mindlessly shared space, automatic glances, overwhelming warmth: you're deep romanticism. deep romanticism consists of pure comfort and belonging, the complete intertwining of two souls. it's growing into a shape that fits perfectly in the arms of another, it's asking questions you already know the answer to, just to hear the way they pronounce those words again, it's admiring their face as they sleep pressed against you, admiring the same face you study as they talk about whatever they're fond of that week, yet finding new things to love, even after years of doing so. you're most likely an old and pure soul, and anyone would be so incredibly lucky to have you. just remember that emotional and romantic depth is not the end goal, enjoy your journey rather than focusing on a certain point of achievement along the way. love in uncertainty, sit in unfamiliarity. "we'll survive, you and i" - f. scott fitzgerald

[astrummorte-m]

what is your final act as a villain?

you succeeded with your plan... right?

you stand atop the peak, and you look down at the wreckage. it was righteous wreckage, you think. it was necessary. now, you can begin to rebuild; a new world that will be better than the last. you don't care that your hero's body lays at your feet-- dead and useless. you don't care that they were technically doing the same thing as you: trying to make what they thought was a better world. it doesn't matter that, really, it was pure chance that it was you who came out on top. it doesn't matter. it doesn't.

[astrummorte-m]

what color is your love language?

fern

Key words: intellectual, humour, best friends. You feel like you 'click' with everybody you love and get along in an intrinsic way. You would never give somebody your heart if you felt like you couldn't talk with them about anything. You show your love by making playlists, sending late-night memes or remembering their coffee order and why they like it. The one you love is always on your mind, and you're never happier than hearing that somebody you love has been thinking about you. Best matched with: Cerulean, Canary, Lavender

[astrummorte-m]

how do you best like to be loved?

write me your words of wonder

you want to be thought of with intent, for someone to sit down and want to share their thoughts with you specifically. and their thoughts about you, even more. for someone to Know you, or at least desire the knowledge. for them to write it out in a way that you can read as quickly or slowly as you desire. that you can reread again and again, or lock in a box and never read after that first quick consumption. you crave that tangibility. and the small moments that lead up to the letter being in your hand. to be told, 'it's in the mail' and then to have the simple joy of checking the mailbox to see if it has come today. to hold the envelope and feel the love within. there is a purpose of intent within physically written words, and it patches the parts of you that feel like you aren't worth thinking about. my darling, know that you are. you are worth intentional thought and cursive letters and an envelope sealed with a kiss.

[astrummorte-m]

where will you go when you die?

you dream

you lay down for your final sleep and close your eyes and rest. you begin to dream, and your dream does not end. you dream onward and onward, lucid dreams, strange and ever-evolving, creating your own afterlife in iterations and degrees. your death is what you make it, and you sculpt it from infinity. it takes you a while to realize that you are dreaming of things that never could have happened to you, things you do not know, that you are dreaming of impossible geometries and unknowable things. there is something in your dream with you.

[astrummorte-m]

what does your soul smell like?

rosewater

key words: sensitive, romantic, calming. you are a beautiful person inside and out whose kindness shines through even on your worst days. being around you is like stepping into a crisp smelling floral garden on a spring evening. others are inspired by your empathy, charm, and all the love you have to give. compatible with: fresh linen, freshly baked bread.

[astrummorte-m]

how do you need to be loved?

deeply, like the vastness of the sea

You are a very passionate person. You feel everything so intensely, and that definitely includes love. You need someone who will match that passion, that intensity. You need someone who will care about you as much as you care about them, but you have a hard time finding that. You're usually the one who loves more, and it's sad sometimes, but it's okay. But you will find someone who loves you just as much as you love them.

[astrummorte-m]

what's your underlying motif?

the lightning rod

whether it’s your turbulent nature, your flash quick mind, or the air of unknown about you, your undercurrent is the lightning rod. you are somewhat unpredictable, but if we unravelled we’d see you know exactly what you’re doing, but it’s makes you feel less vulnerable to pretend it wasn’t planned. some people stay back from you, but others would follow you cross country, for the very same reason. they don’t know enough about you. the difference is in who wants to learn more. keep your golden nature, it’s exciting, but don’t be afraid to admit what you know. matshona dhliwayo said “lightning strikes but does not roar” your bite will always be worse than your bark, keep that close to your chest.

[astrummorte-m]

where does your power lie?

the mouth

sharp teeth, sharper tongue, all growl and bark and bite, bite, bite. your power is gritted teeth and set jaws, quick and powerful words, decisive actions. everything you do is so personal and vulnerable - the way you love, the way you are loved, the way you attack, the way you drink in and feast on life.