#♡. aryin.about ⁄ ⁄ discovering the patterns of my soul .

[astrummorte-m]

1st version: no clothes / shows off major scarring & the right leg.

2nd version: commander gear / half plate, function over form

3rd version: clergy gear / common day outfit, nonceremonial

4th version: usual adventuring gear

ok to rb by moots & those with connections to aryin!

[astrummorte-m]

which of my homebrew final fantasy classes are you?

witch.

you owe it all to someone, don't you? your achievements and your downfalls, your beliefs and your disregards, your happy days and your sad days, everything you are and everything you'll never be. you owe your life to someone, and yet that person says you did it all on your own. you wouldn't be the person you are without them, and it shows. you have their mark on you. and even still, the world demands you keep going in the direction you're going, without stopping. and you have them to thank for your way to the top. you'll never forget the things they gave you.

tagging: @gamenu @cosmicdreamt @novastrae @sncwlight @fcralhearts @fleurladari / @picavecalyx @auburniivenus @azurescaled @dragonskxn @sanguinesocierie @strifeborn @geraniumplant @oflostinfound @constellaeinfinitum @zodiac--muses @breathofcosmos @bittcnneck @needlenxggin @madeimpact @diabelskoga + whoever else wants to!

[astrummorte-m]

fun fact about aryin: despite having the core dna of a human, the experiments they went through made them more changeling than human <3

[astrummorte-m]

what flower shows your love the deepest?

daffodil.

keywords: fortune, hope, forgiveness. the flower that describes your love the best is the daffodil. daffodils, in flower language, have multiple meanings, such as joy, good fortune, and revival. you embody the best of these traits in the way you show your love. you are oftentimes the light of your relationship, laughing and dancing and joyfully brushing away troubles. you don't ignore the problem, but you do always make it easier to bear when you're around for them. sometimes, this makes people think you aren't capable of handling tougher situations, and sometimes they aren't wrong, as you like keeping things joyful and full of mirth. but at the end of the day, your love is like the flower its represented by. your love is a revival, a testament to change.

tagging: @gamenu @catncore / @undesiredwish @stellafortunae @zodiac--muses @novastrae @auburniivenus @offrozenmemoirs @azurescaled @henshinhero @keywcilder @lcstkey @sporefound @gcldbound @estarion @charlatanry

[astrummorte-m]

sometimes i remember that shapeshifting is just a thing aryin can do. it has always come natural to aryin to be anything, everything - whoever and whatever they wanted to be. over time of being manipulated into being a trophy & gifted child, this becomes a lack of a sense of self.

not remembering what they look like underneath the shapechange. not remembering what their mother's face looked like. not being sure their hands are their own. derealization, depersonalization, days & weeks and at some point in the campaign years long hazes of dissociation.

aryin literally a Day before their fucking birthday, a DAY. finally broke down bad enough to have everyone be worried that someone was dying from the sound/scream they let out while being assured that none of it was ever their fault, they can let themselves feel again.

[astrummorte-m]

sometimes i forget that aryin has similar religious trauma to me, and then they give me the line out of nowhere of

"When the doors shut and all the windows lock, there's no one to pray to in the darkness of your childhood home."

[astrummorte-m]

what strangely specific scent do you give off?

mint plucked from the ground.

you're the easiest one to run to when things go wrong, and because of that, you're surrounded by a bunch of people who you swear you can help feel better, people you swear to heaven and hell both that you can "fix". you're sharp, both in scent and in practice, precise and yet vague. your practicality is unrivaled, and people seek you out for your wisdom and your sweetness, and it's draining you. your roots spread like a wildfire, and you burn away the nerves that let you feel. invasive, even if you don't want to be, because you're in every place you shouldn't be. go home, little root; go home before you don't remember what home is anymore.

tagging: @gamenu @cosmicdreamt @breathofcosmos @constellaeinfinitum @stellafortunae @xavthew0rld @zodiac--muses @diabelskoga @auburniivenus @azurescaled @oflostinfound @ofpearlesce ( for urself or for anybody u got in ur brain atm ) + whoever else wants to join in!

[astrummorte-m]

how are you color coded?

GREY CODED

grey, a study in dreams, nightmares, and silver linings. you are the type of person who finds the good AND the bad in everything. some people might find you annoying. others may call you pragmatic. you see things the way they should be seen, even if that makes you depressed - even if that makes you angry with yourself. you know the world is not as bad as it seems, but you know it's not any better than it was yesterday. you want to fix this, if only starting on your own life and the lives of your friends. and indeed, you're going to need them, your friends. the journey starts here, starts now, with a single step forward. so where are we going, my friend?

[astrummorte-m]

what type of "oh" are you?

the startled laugh.

you realize with an abrupt laugh and a quiet "oh no". you realize with a confused bubble of a noise in your throat, a thing you can't control, and it doesn't stop, as long as they're around for you, for anything. you've never really understood the premise of something like this, after all those sorts of things are tropes - they happen in books, and in movies, and in games… but in real life? they can't be real, they don't HAPPEN. but here you are, eyes wide in realization as that cliche word fumbles past your lips - oh. oh no. (oh…)

tagging: @maljefe @auburniivenus @estarion @keywcilder @kukyc @lcstkey @undesiredwish @erabundus / @charlatanry @oflostinfound @chosenpower @picavecalyx @paleobird @gamenu @geraniumplant @gcldbound @glory-hasnoplacehere @incarnaet @iisdrottning @sporefound @sncwlight + whoever wants to steal it!

[astrummorte-m]

─ he sleeps like the dead.

not in that sense of he sleeps so heavily that nothing could wake him aside from coming back to life, if that. ( though, that would not be an inaccurate sentiment. ) he doesn't sleep as if the world could not be bothered to wake him, but could not be bothered to keep him asleep, and so he chooses to sleep. ( though, again, not an inaccurate sentiment. ) no, not in the slightest does he resemble the remark of a man on his last breath.

aryin ashland sleeps like the dead.

that is to say, when he finally has been worn down to a point of no return - when the world has taken more than it ever truly gave - when life has decided that there is no better time to rest, to recover, to recuperate, than this moment right now - when aryin ethan ashland has finally broken his own heart... the son of dreamers finally sleeps.

& he sleeps like the dead.

he sleeps with the comfort of knowing that there are people behind him, ready to defend him. he sleeps with the knowledge that he's no longer alone, when he had believed for so long that no one could possibly be there for him. he sleeps with the pain that he carries every day with a smile, oddly quiet in his breathing as if he's too scared to disrupt even his own good fortune. he sleeps with the belief that he'd be protected, rather than being the protector; he sleeps as if he knows he can trust the people he's fought alongside for years. he sleeps as if the world has finally slowed down in its relentless turning and let him catch his breath, and the only thing that his body could feasibly think to do was sleep.

he sleeps like the dead.

there is a blanket over him that feels more like home than home ever could be, and there's a quiet chattering outside the door of the room that he's been allowed to sleep in by the owner of the house. though the rest of the group tempts fate, tempts the rage of a brother and a mother who suddenly grieve again ( not for the daughter, the sister that they lost, but for not realizing or knowing that there was someone who grieved as much as they did ─ and had grieved alone ), they think better of it... of course, with a little threatening from the brother's wife and daughter.

they try to remain quiet. though, truthfully, waking aryin from such a catatonic state would prove more difficult than the last time. it felt, in that moment, as if no pain could ever, ever match the agony of recognizing just how truly... painfully... utterly alone you have been for years. not because of lack of trying or lack of love, but because you have tried so hard & still the world looked at you and made you believe you were meant to be alone. even if it was then and still is now a lie, one can only deny what the world says for so long alone before it sinks in to become a fact.

the world outside this room is loud and frightening, full of terrors that inevitably, inexcusably, he will have to face in due time, but he won't have to face it alone. the world outside this room is painful and full of misery, spiteful and full of rage, angry and full of hatred, but that does not mean he can't be the first step to allowing it to heal. the world outside wants him dead, but those guarding the door want him alive.

when he wakes, he will have to recognize that pain again.

but for now,

aryin ashland sleeps like the dead.

[astrummorte-m]

ok ok so.

though i make jokes abt how aryin & their siblings disowned their family name by choice, their father has not legally recognized this on file for almost all of them. the only one who is considered a "bastard child" is zack, because he actively ran away from home and has refused every attempt to "reconcile" for years.

aryin, though?

aryin still holds their titles that they earned growing up. do they care for the titles? not really. that doesn't define them as much as it used to. they don't perceive themselves nobility anymore, not like that. but they do have titles, and titles that people of their universe would 100% know.

crown prince/princess/heir of the garden's gate.

aryin was given total control over the gate to the garden on their estate, which is a magical garden started by a wizard, that holds a variety of hard to access materials outside of that specific area. it is also consecrated land, made holy by the body of the moon druid that started it being buried there, as well as the rites done by aryin when they were Just a Little Guy. that area responds magically to aryin's presence. it is a safe haven to all friends and neutral parties, and will slowly drain life force of enemies that get trapped there.

2. royal magician's advisor.

i just fukcign remEMMBERED THEY HAD THIS IM FUCKING HOWLING. by definition, this means they held insane power among the magic kingdom, being able to influence high level decisions with the right timed curiosity. being who they are, they never abused this. until they were accused of doing exactly that. they didn't! but people got Scared.

3. student of yen sid.

don't start w them on this, they'll spit on that man's grave. yes, it's a honor, no, they'd burn him to the second afterlife with their words.

there's like two more, but i don't know what they are anymore, lol.

[astrummorte-m]

what is the path you stride on honkai: star rail?

the erudition.

"If the truth of the universe is cruel and stale, would you still yearn for the answer? The seeker is impassive, for their core has always been cold and unfeeling… just as the end of Path they set out to seek." Those who seek the truth are assigned the "Erudition" Path. These individuals hold a deep admiration for thinking, logic, and strategic behavior. They embark on a quest to unravel the mysteries of the universe, driven by an insatiable thirst for knowledge and understanding. In the vast expanse of the universe, knowledge is a universal currency. It knows no bounds, transcending the boundaries of genius or mediocrity. Both the brilliant minds and those deemed average have their own unique ways of navigating the intricacies of existence, unraveling its secrets one thread at a time. As one passes through the hallowed halls of knowledge and reason, a transformation occurs within the followers of the "Erudition" Path. Pride, passion, and logic intertwine, giving birth to a more nuanced outlook on life. What was once exuberant zeal becomes tempered with a sense of defeatism, as the weight of knowledge brings forth an understanding of the vastness of the unknown. Indifference, born out of a realization that not all truths can be easily grasped, weaves its way into their perspectives. And at times, fanaticism emerges as they ardently defend the realms of rationality and logical discourse. While each individual's personality within the "Erudition" Path may vary, certain commonalities can be observed. They often display a calm and collected demeanor, guided by the pursuit of wisdom. They value critical thinking and logical reasoning, allowing them to approach challenges with a methodical and analytical mindset. In the grand tapestry of existence, the followers of the "Erudition" Path play a crucial role. Their passion for knowledge, honed thinking skills, and strategic behavior contribute to the collective growth of wisdom and understanding. They unravel the threads of the universe, illuminating the paths that others may traverse in their own quests for enlightenment.

[astrummorte-m]

all of the cytos kids know how to properly wield a gun, as well as how to flourish it to make it look cool (and to not shoot themselves in the process!) but the person who is really the mirror of grayson highwind (aka grey, the dad they talk about) is ARYIN.

aryin has an explosive-ammo-based gun that's meant specifically for one person, while having a grenade launcher, bow, matching pistols and a sniper rifle all in the form of various keychains.

ariel's first weapon was a gun to train in that wasn't a spell focus, zack was shown one as a defense attorney for a trial and immediately proved a point by getting permission to take a rubber ammo and shoot at the empty desk to prove the precision it would take to do what the client is presumed to do and - well goes on from there, luka grew up / raised himself around port royal & the caribbean in the golden age of piracy, kae has a legal carrying license in san fransokyo for a Real Fucking Gun.

while the rest of the kids took to the shooting easily, aryin struggled to keep the damn thing in their hands, even while shooting a blank. they would curse under their breath from the sudden heat and drop it, they would fumble with the recoil, they would constantly bite their fingers with the trigger and drop the gun after making the shot. because they were always a swordsman.

when they had finally mastered the hold of a gun, they were delighted, but had no one to tell, so they kept it to themselves. only to tell cayde about it later on, and get a mark of pride from him.

aryin has one of grey's hats, decorated currently with a red chocobo plume from vivian, his brother and their aunt.

aryin has already ben stated to have never been one to fit in with the family, despite being accepted readily without much curiosity or question by the others, to the point that there was suspicion from their mother that she had slept with someone else while being married (she didn't!). this pleased their biological father greatly, however, as aryin was a people pleaser for a long time.

aryin has been described as "mini-grey" on several instances, which delights them immensely.

aryin has briefly mimicked grey before, poorly but made an attempt to.

tldr; aryin is just grey's eldest son and even the other characters recognize it.

[astrummorte-m]

some things that i sometimes forget about aryin because they don't get the opportunity to act like that anymore (as their partners are, in a good way, extremely devoted)

aryin has the number of a well off owner of a casino, a woman named angel. it's unknown if she was interested in aryin as a person, or because aryin was good at what they were doing at the time ─ probably flirting while knowing the game they're playing.

aryin is extremely, naturally, flirtatious. and they're good at it. not to say i can't flirt, myself, but because they follow their partner's lead, they no longer flirt with everyone they find attractive, even if they do offer the occasional compliment or two (as everything they say in their usual tone and timbre comes off flirtatious by accident).

aryin is good in bed, to a point of having impressed and caught the attention of a well known certain daughter of an older pirate (aka jack sparrow's pirate captain daughter). while it was something that they ended up regretting, and the reason why they want to never see her again is a little funny, that woman was head over heels for aryin, and wants to see them again.

aryin, despite being nervous about being in a relationship for too long (every long term relationship has ended in disaster), will love, and love, and love until the others stop loving them, and then still more after that.

[astrummorte-m]

updated: final fantasy class (homebrew).

spellblade.

you are a mix of everything you've done and everything you've said, a mix of dream and nightmare, a mix of hope and despair. you are more than the sum of your parts, but the world won't let you say that. you keep moving forward, you keep asking for a break that the world is indifferent and sometimes cruel towards you for asking about. you know well the feeling of LOSS. for it has been your entire life. the world demands so much of you, and you don't know whether you should scream or grin. after all, this is how you prove yourself to the world. this is how you go out with a bang.

[astrummorte-m]

"I'm sorry, my Lord, but I have to stop you right there."

"Have you forgotten your place?"

"No, I remember it quite well."

"You are a guard against threats for my children."

"Indeed. That means every threat."

"... Watch your tongue, Calistine, before I make sure you can't anymore. Tell my daughter that I need her for the gala in three hours."