#♠ ▌┊「V|MAIN.」 ❝ ⁿᵒ ᶠˡᵃʷˢ ʷʰᵉⁿ ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ᵖʳᵉᵗᵉⁿᵈᶦⁿᵍ ❞

[lamentis]

“Your hair’s getting longer, I’ve noticed. It’s… certainly not an unwelcome change… it suits you… Why are you looking at me like that?”

               It would’ve been silly for him to pretend he hadn’t noticed the way his fiancé was staring at him; it must’ve been a few minutes now, but honestly, he’s grown so used to having his attention like that. He isn’t bothered in the slightest, although he can’t help but feel curious what’s got him so captivated. It isn’t like he has no idea what he’d say if he asked him, he had a very good guess, but he supposes it’s become rare for him not to immediately voice his thoughts whenever something sentimental or attractive is going through his mind. Even still, he favors watching the vapor that spills from between his lips rise into the air in place of trying to delicately break the comfortable silence between them. The only sound he can hear is the occasional blare of a horn or the far off bustling of the city far below the high-up apartment balcony and he likes it. Even with January almost over, he likes having the lights up at night to set the mood around him. It makes him feel warm in a way that has nothing to do with their odd summer heat; and causes him to hum softly when one of them finally does speak. The quiet is shattered, but nothing else is taken from the two of them.

          Raising one leg up to his chest whilst the other remains laid out in front of him, he rests his arm over his knee and breathes out more of the vapor before turning to look at him. It’s late enough at night that the exhaustion of the day has started to wear him down a little, so he’s sure he looks tired by now, but even still, he can’t help but smile when he hears his explanation, at last. Ah, so that’s what’d fascinated him…

     “Oh?” Almost instinctively, he reaches back with his free hand to touch the bun he’d pulled his hair into after getting home. He hadn’t really been paying much attention, honestly – now that he’s mentioned it, though, it feels like there’s more than there used to be. His ponytails had started getting longer at some point, too. He almost wonders how detached he has to be from himself not to realize his hair is starting to grow out so long, but in all fairness, the one who always holds his attention is sitting right in front of him – he’s never had much regard for himself. He lets his hand hover against the side of his own neck, staring back at him with a mixture of amusement and adoration, like he’s about to start laughing but is intentionally holding back. He doesn’t respond to his statement for a long stretch of time… he doesn’t even move until Kent finally questions him.

               Chuckling, he scoots closer to him on the balcony floor, until their shoulders are touching and his hand is laid over top of his. Whilst moving, he takes another drag from the e-cigarette, then leans forward and parts his lips to blow the vapor directly towards Kent’s lips. By time he’s leaned close enough to touch them, he’s completely done, and he presses several sleepy, short kisses to his lips. Only after he’s satisfied with the length of time he spends doing so does he finally pull back from him, but he doesn’t go far. He re-situates himself, roping his arm around his and pushing up against him so his head can rest on his shoulder.

          “You know, if you want to call me beautiful, you can just be blunt about it… How about every time you do, I’ll give you another few kisses?” He smiles again. It’s a little cheeky, but loving beyond all else. “I’m glad you think so. I don’t think I’ll cut it again any time soon.” Between thoughts, he returns to sending that cloud into the air, taking turns paying attention to the cigarette and running his free fingers along Kent’s thigh.

     “Don’t worry. I was just thinking I’m really happy. That’s all.”

[lamentis]

"How did you teach Misaki to talk? I'm just a little curious... that's all."

               “Do you promise not to laugh if I tell you?” He says it like there’s an air of mystery around this, but it’s really not that big of a deal. The way his lips quirk in the bare hint of a smile tip off that much, yet he lets the question linger for a few seconds before he readjusts himself, tearing his attention away from Kent in order to offer it to the bird in question. She’s standing in front of him on the kitchen table, wings fluffed up as she inclines his head towards him. He thinks she’s about to start singing again and he’s proven correct. In an ironic twist considering the conversation, she’s no longer squawking out words, but instead singing some random tune he can’t place. “It’s mostly just because she’d listen to me talk for so long. I didn’t have anyone else to tell my feelings too… even you weren’t an option until recently, when I told you… what I was dealing with internally. She started picking up words naturally. And considering I try to fall back on humor when I’m sad… I guess most of the things she picked up just ended up coming off as funny or cute.”

          He’s not trying to bring the mood down with that one; he thinks it’s kind of nice to hear things he must’ve said while in the depths of despair repeated to him in such an optimistic tone.

     “I mean, after I realized she was picking up on stuff, there were a few phrases I taught her purposefully. Greetings, simple sayings, that kind of thing. The songs she learns are from the musicals… she likes watching them.” It’s a little funny; in a household that had previously only consisted of one very brooding man, the only happiness he’d had for so long had been a tiny bird. He moves his hand from his chin and extends it to her; she steps onto his finger without hesitation. “I was happy with her just listening to me, but I’m glad she learned to respond, even if I know birds aren’t really aware of what any conversation means. She is… was… my only family. It’s pretty pathetic, but for a while, Misaki was really all I had… Of course, now there’s you.” He smiles, more gently this time, but he’s too busy petting the cockatiel to look his way. “I think I’ve heard her saying ‘I love you’ around the apartment, lately. Wonder where she picked that up…”

[lamentis]

               “You could do so much better, you know.” It’s not spoken from the place of someone who’s feeling down on themselves or even trying to garner pity; it’s more like a passing comment made in comfortable silence while he’s too tired to try lifting himself off the couch. His face is half buried in the pillow where he lays face down, not minding the birds that have decided to take a nap on the back of his neck -- in retrospect, he can’t be sure he would’ve even heard his muffled voice. “Than me, I mean. If you saw yourself the way I see you, you’d realize that, too.” / @rationalclover.

[lamentis]

               “You know, in this sometimes dark life ... you’re the bright side.” /  @rationalclover. ♪

[lamentis]

              “Ken, I can’t go on, not in this way ... I’m a dream, I die by light of day.”  /  @rationalclover. ♪

[lamentis]

               “I hope that you fall in love and it hurts so bad. The only way you can know is if you give it all you have.”  /  @rationalclover.  ♪

[lamentis]

               “Every second here makes my heart beat faster --- finally think I found what I’m chasing after.”  /  @rationalclover.  ♪

[lamentis]

               “After last night, I think you’re gonna have to face it, you’re addicted to love.”  /  @rationalclover.  ♪

[lamentis]

               “Public service announcement: I love Suumi Kent soooo much, he’s soooo cute!!”

[lamentis]

               “I think I broke my wrist.”

[lamentis]

               “Hey, Ken...” His voice isn’t as loud as he wants it to be when he calls out to him -- he finds himself hoping he can hear him over the sound of the television and the two birds singing along to whatever musical he’d turned it to for them. He’s not sure how long he’s spent staring at the ends of his hair with a look of clear dissatisfaction on his face now; he’d meant to just take a shower and lay face down on the couch for a few hours until inevitably passing out, but the longer he looks at himself, the more agitated he starts to become. God... how wrapped up in life had he been that he’d forgotten he’d bought hair dye almost three weeks ago; the blue along his ends had almost completely faded out at this point, making the color completely pastel. It wasn’t going to last another two weeks, maybe not even one.

          What a seemingly ordinary problem considering the life he’d had lately...

     He glances behind him at the bathroom door he’d left open, suddenly glad he’d decided to be completely devoid of ceremony when he’d changed into pajamas for the night -- being clad in nothing but an over-sized t-shirt that was at least five sizes too big and a pair of stupid bunny slippers practically screamed of not only lack of care, but being ready to make a mess everywhere. For once, it’s not like he had work tomorrow, either. “Are you busy doing any work for the rest of the night...? I think I need your help with something...” / @rationalclover.

[lamentis]

               He feels like death — there’s really no other way to put it when he’s spent the last week or so cooped up at every possible work station he can imagine. In retrospect, he supposes that’s what he gets for taking so many needless days off just to spend time with someone, but a week of catching up is a small price to pay for actually having the means of achieving what he needs to. At the very least, he has the next few days off again. Recovering isn’t really at the forefront of his mind, though, not even when he’s dragging himself through the metro station half-dead with his shoulders hanging. Get a job an hour away from the city, it’ll be fine, late commutes won’t be that bad, he’d said. Seriously... It’s through sheer willpower alone he manages to keep himself from daydreaming about the bed waiting for him in his apartment; he has better things to ponder.

          He lets out a complacent sigh, marveling at the fact he can no longer see his breath in the air now that it’s finally starting warm up. ( So much for a White Christmas this year, he supposes... ) Pretty awful timing to be stuck in a scarf of all things, but... He supposes complaining about that will fall on deaf ears considering whose fault it is.

     Reaching for the phone in his pocket, he momentarily turns the music playing from his earbuds down, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth to bite down as he switches from music to his contacts list. It takes him all but a few seconds to find the name he’s looking for when he does. At a surface level, he hopes he won’t be bothering him texting him this late, but... it can’t be helped, can it? Not when he’d gotten off work at ten. If he’s lucky, he’ll still be awake doing research or... whatever it is he does at this hour. At least he didn’t miss the midnight mark; it’s only eleven now, right?

               He glances up at the stairs leading out of the station and sighs, dropping down on a nearby bench and shrugging off his jacket to rest over his legs. He’s already mentally going over everything in his head... He’d gotten everything he needed from a materialistic standpoint, he’s sure, but... He hums and rests his chin on his hand.

( ✉ → my arch nemesisღ ) Hey, Ken, you’re still awake right? Sorry if you’re not and I’m suddenly just the asshole who woke you up.

( ✉ → my arch nemesisღ ) I know it’s late, but could you meet me at the train station between our houses? If you’re not already busy, I was hoping you’d stay with me tonight.

( ✉ → my arch nemesisღ ) Last minute, I know, I’m sorry... I wasn’t sure if I’d get off before midnight, but it’s your birthday in an hour, so... That’s... kinda like bringing in the New Year or something, right... Except, like, more important.

( ✉ → my arch nemesisღ ) I’m making excuses, just, you know. I have something I want to talk to you about. It’s reeeeaaaally important. Super duper important! But also gifts!! Birthday gifts!! That’s what really matters, right. 👏

( ✉ → my arch nemesisღ ) jbejhrgbnjehrbng

( ✉ → my arch nemesisღ ) If you’re up to it, I’ll be waiting at the station. We can walk to the apartment together? ... I really want to see you. Please consider it. Doki.

@rationalclover.

[lamentis]

               “What, with all due respect, the absolute fuck.”

@starscasket.

[lamentis]

               “I feel like most peoples’ lives now-a-days are just a collection of poorly made decisions with alternative music playing in the background.”

@caballera.

[lamentis]

               “My guy,  I stopped caring when I was, like, three.”

@icarussolved.

[lamentis]

               “Do you have those people that you’d go anywhere with unconditionally, like they could say ‘let’s go check out that dumpster’ and you’d be like ‘I’m in.’“

@childrenswar.