#☾⋆⁺₊⋆ {verse} trapped beneath these bones

[witchnordemon]

❝ No, but... ❞ He turned, gazing in the direction of the window. ❝ some of my friends used to. And they'd get real upset about having to go to sleep, because that meant we couldn't play anymore that day. ❞ He closed his eyes, form moving to sit upon the disc like a chair. ❝ They were sad I didn't need to sleep, too, because for me it'd be way longer before we could play again. ❞

They faced Valor again, shrugging. ❝ I napped when they slept, even though I didn't hafta, so that way, it was like no time passed at all when we woke up. It's like we were never apart! ❞

He eyed the sheet that covered his tablet more often than not, huffing. Realistically, this was necessary, even if he didn't like it... the way Titan babies hated going to bed at the end of the day, but... maybe... with any luck...

❝ If we get to see each other again someday, even if its not for a super duper long time, maybe it'll feel like our time apart was also just a looong dream. ❞ Collector offered, not... one hundred percent believing it themself, but... he wanted it to be true. He wanted it more than anything.

❝ G-goodnighty night, Golden Guard, ❞ They pretended like they didn't just choke on their words, glancing again at the sheet cover, ❝ and don't let the bug demons bite. ❞

"You have a bedtime?" Valor asked with a raised eyebrow, because focusing on that was better than focusing on the fact that they would probably never see each other again.

"Oh- Here." He picked the fabric up from where it had slipped onto the floor and stood.

This . . . this really was it, wasn't it?

He didn't want this to end.

[witchnordemon]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ TAG DUMP

[witchnordemon]

Collector did notice how disinterested Golden Guard seemed in what they were trying to get him to talk about, and he quickly began rummaging through his thoughts, thinking desperately for a conversation topic to keep their friend here, when... he announced he should go.

They were prepared to launch into a spiel about all the cool things that they still wanted to learn, when Golden Guard confirmed he would at least be back when he could... which, who knows how long that could be with Philip keeping him busy all the time.

They wanted to fight it so bad. They didn't want him to leave again. But he said he would be back the last time too, and he hadn't lied then. He probably wouldn't lie this time either... hopefully.

❝ Yeah, yeah, lots of... stuff. To do. ❞ He nodded, sulking only a little bit as his shadowed self returned atop his disc prison, prepared to return to the mind-numbing, voidal nothingness of the in-between once more. ❝ Next time, for sure... ❞ They repeated, soon as they saw the tablet cover come into view - as if holding him to his word, ❝ ...I'll make you tell me about mortal stuff and math. ❞

"What, pain . . . ? Yeah, that's um. A thing to let you know something is wrong with your body I think. So you can do something about it. Get a cut healed or something."

He sighed, reaching under his mask to scrub the tears out of his eyes. "Um. Sure, yeah." He sighed again as he dropped his arms and looked out towards the window. ". . . I should go." He looked back at the Collector. "I'll . . . be back when I can. But I need to go. Things to do, y'know." Not that he'd actually be doing any of those things.

He went over to his bag and checked to make sure he had his things packed away, mentally swearing when he saw the stand in there. He'd completely forgotten to put the Collector's tablet on the windowsill while they talked. Augh. Fine. Whatever. He'd do it next time.

He closed his bag and swung it around his shoulder, then grabbed the cloth that went over the disk. "I'll, uh. See you next time?"

[witchnordemon]

He nodded with excited vigor - the idea of further carving a new identity for himself... it felt good to think about, to choose his own path while he was stuck here, something good to remember this time by, with the help from his new friend no less.

❝ Do you have any lists? Books? ❞ They inquired with a tilt of the head. ❝ Like, of Boiling Isles names - I wanna look at 'em first, get an idea of what's cool. ❞

The topic switch to Titans had them beaming, then frowning, which was then accompanied by a slow raise of the eyebrows when Valor explained his way of thinking; of why Papa may have felt threatened by Collector's seemingly innocent and fun game.

❝ Tha- that doesn't make sense, of course I'm good, the Titans are my best friends, of course I know what I'm doing... ❞ Collector voiced, quieter than usual and much moreso to themself than Valor. But... as much as he knew he would never try and be mean or hurt the Titanlings... what his friend was saying actually did made sense. Valor was an expert on the beasties of the Isles. Even though he had never met a Titan, he was smart about this stuff; about how animals around him felt, so... he was likely onto something. Maybe Papa really didn't know that it was just a great big fun game, and he just got overprotective of his babies, so - he wasn't mad at Collector, right? It was just a big misunderstanding?

Their eyes widened, looking back at Valor properly and thumping a hand against their other palm. ❝ Valor! You prob'ly got it! Maybe he didn't understand the rules of the game! ❞ They concluded, tapping a hand against their chin. ❝ He thought I was playing too hard, or didn't know it was all just make believe, and no one was getting hurt - and he wanted to protect them. ❞

Collector deflated with a hunch of his shoulders. Now they felt kind of bad. They couldn't truthfully say they ever gave real thought about how Papa might have felt. They thought he liked them, since he let them live with his kin for so long... but maybe he just got mean 'cause he was scared, or unsure. Heck, Philip did that sometimes, too, and as much of a sourpuss he could be, they knew he didn't really mean it.

❝ ...I wish I could just... talk to him. ❞

Valor smiled up at him. "Tell me if you ever decide you want to be called that, then. Or anything else."

It would almost be . . . fun, if they did decide to take on another name. Then they could both switch to names neither of them had known the other by before. Something just for them. Something they shared together.

"Maybe he didn't know you wouldn't?" Valor offered. He sat back, placing his hands in crossed legs as he thought. "Like. You said it was the last titan. I don't know if it's the same for titans, but like . . . Have you seen the parents of young beasts? The ones that actually raise their kids instead of just letting them fend for themselves.

"Like . . . they get super territorial. Even if you're someone they know is good! You're never supposed to get near a mom with kits unless you really, really know what you're doing 'cause you could get maimed just for being nearby.

"And like . . . Like if all the titans were disappearing on him, he was probably terrified. He wouldn't want his kid to disappear, too. So he might not have been wanting anyone to get near them. And if you were actively seeking them out, maybe he saw that as a threat. Even if you couldn't hurt it, you could steal it away. You didn't mean any harm, but he didn't know that, so he lashed out in fear, you know?"

[witchnordemon]

❝ Yeah, we can travel long, long distances, and collect beings that are close to going away... and find a better place for them somewhere... someday. ❞ He ended, with a touch of uncertainty. Such circumstances were probably rare, but the idea of waking a mortal up from a nice long nap and giving them a perfect, brand new place to play forever seemed wonderful to them. After all, while collecting things was fun, getting to interact and play with them was much better - he'd know, it's exactly how he felt about Titans.

A noncommittal hum was Collector's response to the idea of a "mate", something they now knew Titans didn't have or need. Or did they? Titans could and often would choose to raise their babies with other Titans, even if they didn't need help having the eggs in the first place. Was that... different? Maybe it was - they'd have to inquire more into the topic, it was fascinating to hear all of this new, cool stuff about mortals.

He nodded to confirm Golden Guard's words, ❝ Yep, I'm from wayyy up there, ❞ he gestured up at the ceiling of the room they were in, ❝ I, um... don't remember a whole lot. Just what I said before - the sky, how it never changed, but there were so many stars and planets, and my siblings, and how they collected beings but didn't let me do it. ❞ He huffed, though... recalling and saying all this to someone brought back that similar aching feeling in their chest again. They... definitely missed it to some extent, and their siblings. Although he was always a tad upset at not being taken as seriously as the rest - he would do anything to see them again, for them to come back for him.

The despair that had been welling up in them dissipated at Golden Guard's reassurance. He wasn't going to leave them forever. And he wasn't going to forget about them either. He even - he even said he would come back. Even though he said it could take a while, he promised... and besides, lying in wait for what seemed like eons wasn't something unfamiliar to them in the slightest.

Collector exhaled a breath they weren't aware they were holding in (or that they had the ability to do?) and clasped their shadowed hands, looking at him from their place atop the tablet they would be retreating into shortly.

❝ I promise I won't tell.. Philip, or Lord Belos, or forget about you, neither. I can wait a long time - I'm really good at it! And while I wait, I'm gonna try my best to remember every cool thing I ever knew. I'm- I'm gonna think so hard about everything cool about Titans, and all my bestest stories. And you can tell me all about your favorite beasties, or about math... and I'll listen. ❞

". . . In the cosmos?" How did they even get up there? Were there places out there up in the cosmos that actually had similar enough environments to here that creatures could survive in them?

Aside from . . . that whole confusion, though, Valor seemed to accept their explanation. Ideally one shouldn't take any individuals from a dwindling species in the first place, lest that exacerbate the problem, but if it was for restoration purposes and they could eventually find a better place for them, then that was far better than just collecting them for the sake of collecting them at least.

He listened in fascination as they continued answering his questions about titans. Some of these creatures he knew were old, old species, such as the selkidomus and trash slug. Others he didn't. Ratworms, griffins, and giraffes all existed during the age of the titans? That was incredible. He wondered if they'd at all changed since then. But he didn't have the time to ask any more questions. Next time, maybe. If there was a next time.

"It means . . . Yeah, it basically means being able to lay and hatch eggs individually without the need for a mate." He wasn't going to go into the technical stuff with this kid. That's all he really needed to know right now.

"You're from the stars?" Valor asked, incredulous. Well, if he used to live in the stars that at least made finding where creatures could be moved to in the cosmos make at least a little more sense. Ohhhh he was going to have to ask more about the Collector's species as well when he had the time to.

Oh titan. Okay. Okay. Any uncertainty he had about not coming back was gone just looking at how pitiful the Collector looked right now. He couldn't in good conscious just abandon them like that. Alright, fine.

He wondered what funny word they were talking about though- Oh. The swear. Yeah sure he could teach them that.

"I promise not to forget about you," he told them. "And . . ." he took a breath, "I promise to come back. But," he emphasized, "Lord Belos keeps me very busy and it might not always be safe for me to come here, so it might be a while before I can, okay? But I'll try."

[witchnordemon]

The Collector glanced down at the floor once more, letting it sink in, really sink in - that this was the last time they might ever see one another... not only for a long time, but maybe for all time.

His eyes drooped. Why was this so hard? He had seen people for the last time before - the Titans, his siblings... he didn't know it was a goodbye at those times, and he also knew it wasn't gonna be forever until he saw them again, but... maybe the fact he was aware this time around was what made it seem so, so superly unfair.

Whatever. They couldn't do anything about it. Not right now, not like... this.

They sighed, slipping on a calm, unbothered facade. ❝ Yeah... I guess you're right, you should go, even if I reaaally don't want you to. 'Sokay, I'm up past my bedtime anyway. ❞ They clapped soundlessly. ❝ Where's my lil' disc blanket at? Collector needs a nap. ❞

Valor returned his smile with one that was similarly bittersweet.

Titan, he didn't want to go.

But he had to. If he didn't get back before Lord Belos is, then he'd die now rather than . . . sometime later.

Titan, he didn't want to go.

But he did things he didn't want to do all the time.

He swallowed thickly.

". . . I should go . . ."

He didn't get up when he said it, even though he should have. Just a bit longer. Just a bit longer.

Dragging this out was probably only making it worse.

[witchnordemon]

❝ Months. ❞ The Collector repeated, even though he swore it felt much, much longer than that. Still... that was months worth of friendship and companionship the likes of which he hadn't seen in eons. Yes, the Titanlings were his bestest little buddies ever, no doubt about it, but they were also mostly littl'uns. Valor was... well, he was closer to Collector's level, he liked to think. The fact that it was all going to go away soon...

They blinked at Valor for a moment, shocked to see him be the one to initiate a pinky swear. It was so rare for anyone to indulge them in their whimsical little quirks, so for their first friend in so long to do so on his own accord meant... a lot.

A closed-eye smile that didn't fully reach their eyes spread across their face, and while tight and stiff, there was real, genuine, bittersweet joy behind it, too. He looked back at his friend once more and held his pinky out in turn, and even if their finger couldn't physically wrap around Valor's own, they knew that didn't make it any less meaningful.

❝ Yeah, we... we'll both never forget. I pinky swear it. ❞

. . . Huh.

He looked away when the Collector said he was never mean to Hope. They didn't . . . they didn't know. They didn't know that he was the one who-

"Months," he clarified in a quiet tone.

Despite . . . despite not knowing the specifics of what happened to Hope, it was still . . . wild to hear the Collector say all this. He . . . he really liked all this stuff about him? That much? Genuinely?

"I . . ." Valor's voice wavered. "I won't ever forget, either. Pinky swear?" Since the Collector said it first . . .

He lifted his hand from the floor so that he could make a pinky promise, touching the tip of his pinky back against the Collector.

[witchnordemon]

He made no attempt to pull his hand back, but a resolute expression crossed his face, trying to put to words what he was thinking.

❝ Yeah! You've been on all these cool adventures as Golden Guard, and you come back and tell me about 'em, you don't keep it all to yourself. You're nice, and you never yell at me or tell me to be quiet, and you were never mean to... to baby beast either, ❞ Their face momentarily fell, ❝ and I've had a lot of fun these past few... uh, months? Years? ❞ They asked, he was pretty sure it wasn't too long based off what Hope looked like the few times he'd seen her, but they were never great with calculating mortal time, least of all after ages spent imprisoned.

❝ Whatever, I had a lot of fun learnin' new stuff about this planet, and hearing about your quests and stuff, and seeing out the window, and... and I'm gonna miss it... ❞ He trailed off, knowing that all he was doing was continuing to stave off the inevitable, ❝ and I wish there was more time, I wanted to play, but... I really won't ever, never, forget 'bout it all, even though I can't see you again. ❞

Valor's eyes widened slightly as they put their hand over his. Huh. That . . .

Didn't feel bad.

He just . . . stared, at their shadowed hand. Was it because he couldn't actually feel it? Was that why it didn't feel bad? It . . . it felt nice, that they returned the gesture. Huh??? Why was this so different from when Lord Belos touched him?

Valor's gaze snapped from the Collector's hand to his face when he spoke. ". . . Huh?" That. What? That didn't make any sense. Why would he think that? "You . . . do?"

[witchnordemon]

He was mostly just venting, ranting even, about how upset he was about it all, but hearing his friend echo his thoughts, assuring him that he knew exactly how they were feeling and didn't like it or want it either... it felt a little less terrible.

His tense posture relaxed only slightly, and the Collector averted his gaze and looked down mutely, sitting figuratively and literally with the grave reality of their shared situation.

As such, they found their eyes widening at the tender, completely unfamiliar gesture. It wasn't really like Valor, and it was so unlike anyone in their life they had known thus far. The kindness of it all...

He looked back up, full-moon pupils wobbling at Valor as they took one of their own shadowy hands and rested it atop his own to the best of his ability.

❝ Tha-thank you too, for bein' my friend! I-I think you're the nicest, coolest, smartest, funnest Golden Guard there ever was, and... and I pinky swear I won't ever, ever forget you. ❞

Valor squeezed his eyes shut as the Collector laid out all of his own feelings that he never dared to say aloud. Never dared to admit. His own words were a hoarse whisper. "I know. I know I know I know I-"

He took a breath. "I don't want to, either." But what else was there? There was nothing. Even if he did run away, take the Collector and bolt, Lord Belos would find them. He was everywhere, he had scouts everywhere, there would be no chance of survival. So he had to keep surviving. Which meant he had to keep doing this and hope hope hope that he didn't mess up for long enough that things cooled down and he'd be allowed more leeway again.

Titan. He was dead, wasn't he?

Opening his eyes when the Collector spoke again, Valor looked down and . . . hesitated. There was a thing people did to comfort others, right? He never really understood it, because it always made him feel worse when Lord Belos did it with him, but he'd seen it a few times with witches and demons where it seemed to actually help. Maybe it would with the Collector, too . . . ?

Slowly, cautiously, he held his hand out over their shadowed form. He pulled back just slightly, still uncertain, before committing and placing it lightly down on the wood in front of him, ready to pull back the moment it seemed uncomfortable for the shadow in front of him.

". . . Thank you. For everything. I . . . I didn't know it was possible to be this comfortable around someone."

[witchnordemon]

Though his shoulders unhunched slightly when Valor agreed, he scrunched his face up at the reality the two of them were in.

❝ I... I don't wanna keep doing what we're doing, I wanna... ❞ he balled up his fists, a frustrated noise escaping him, ❝ ggrraaahhghh, I wanna get out, I wanna be free, I want you to be free, and we could go explore the whole Isles and I could see everything I missed and you could tell me all about the beasties there, and- ❞

❝ -we can't, we have to stay stuck... and I don't wanna. ❞ Their last few words faded into a whisper, their most recent burst of injustice and anger fizzling out again. They didn't like this at all, they didn't want to stop talking - they knew if he flew out that window, there was a good chance they'd never see him again... for one reason or another. Worst of all, the Collector knew it wasn't very nice to keep him here with a risk of harm at Philip's hands, they knew that, and yet...

❝ ...I know you gotta go, but... ❞

Valor's eyes lifted to look back at the Collector as he spoke. But then he dropped them again with a sigh. "It's not. There's not."

"We just . . . have to keep doing what we've always been doing, I guess."

[witchnordemon]

Eyes dropping to the floor, the Collector mutely nodded once more. He didn't like the answer he got, but it wasn't the one he was expecting. It wasn't an outright 'no'. But... somehow, the uncertainty of it was almost worse.

Were they being fair by being upset at the idea of Valor not coming back, even if it would put him at risk? Probably not, then again, their siblings always pointed out how much of whiner they were. They opened their eyes again, fixating blankly on a point in the distance.

❝ It's not fair. ❞ They voiced, bitterness in their tone. ❝ Nothing about anything is fair, not one bit. ❞ They crossed their arms, finally looking back at Valor. ❝ And- and... there's really nothin' you or me can even do about it. ❞

". . . I don't know," came Valor's answer, just as quiet as before. "I . . . I can try, but . . ." He'd have to be even more careful than he usually was.

He wanted to. Titan, he wanted to. He liked the Collector, liked being with them, liked being around them, liked talking with them. But he didn't know how much he could risk. He didn't know what would end up killing him.

[witchnordemon]

For once, the silence was welcomed by the Collector as they sat there quietly, mulling over the bombshell they'd had dropped on them today. Their old friend was a liar who was hurting their real friend, badly, and had been lying about what he was doing to the Collector for Stars only knew how long... and this whole time, they had helped him do it.

The time spent thinking wasn't very productive, as he kept falling into thought spirals about the whole thing, but one positive is that it allowed him to will away that funny sensation that had been building in his eyes.

He finally lifted his head as Valor spoke, almost missing it at first with how quiet he was. He looked around nervously, almost not wanting to voice the nagging thought in his head, but...

They didn't want anyone to lie to them anymore.

❝ If you go... will you be able to come back ever again? ❞ They asked, quietly, hesitantly, almost desperately, really. There was an answer they didn't want to hear. They... they didn't want him to not come back, but... if it was dangerous, if Philip ever caught him... well, they both knew very well what would happen now, and... they needed to hear one more truth while they still could.

Valor nodded with a grimace. ". . . Yeah."

He fell silent, for a long time. He didn't quite want to leave, not after all this, not after such a conversation, not when . . . not when this was the only place he had where he felt like he could actually be himself, where he could speak freely without worry.

Titan he didn't want to leave.

"I . . ." His voice fell into a whisper. ". . . I should go soon . . ."

Would soon be okay? Could he stay for just a little longer?

[witchnordemon]

He closed his eyes, mutely nodding as Valor went on to explain just how Philip had planned to protect everyone against witches.

To make them go to sleep permanently, forever.

His brow furrowed as their friend went on to say how normal this was for him. It... it was normal for them, too, to hear about after the fact, that one of Philip's precious toys had gone off and gotten themselves hurt, that their pristine handcrafted visages were now marred by damage... that Philip had really caused himself.

❝ 'Sokay. ❞ They mumbled in reply, even though it didn't feel okay. A strange sensation began building, making it hard to see even in this shadowed form. Philip, who they thought was one of their bestest friends ever... had lied to them this whole time. He had been hurting and breaking the Grimwalkers all by himself the whole time, and telling them white lies about the reasons why. He had been hurting their real friend.

The Collector finally looked up from the floor and glanced up at Valor again, trying to blink the strange sensation away. His mouth began to wobble when Valor pointed out that he shouldn't be here, that it was dangerous to come here - probably always was, knowing how often and how easily Philip would break his special soldiers.

They brought their knees to their chest, resting their arms on their legs as they sighed. Valor was right - what could he do? Go into hiding? Philip would no doubt track him down, and... and... then...

❝ ...If he found out... he'd make you go away for good too. ❞

"Protect us by killing them," Valor clarified. "By getting rid of them all forever."

Valor looked away. It . . . It didn't sound like a mistake, did it? He didn't like to think of Lord Belos that way, but . . . the proof was all there, wasn't it? He shrugged, though. "Normal to me."

"Sorry," he muttered at the way the Collector deflated. But it was better that they knew, right?

He blinked incredulously at the Collector's question. ". . . Do? There isn't anything I can do. Titan, I'm already on thin ice now because of-" He cut himself off before he could speak her name, and he looked away. "I'm just trying to survive. I probably shouldn't even be here right now. If Lord Belos found out . . ." He trailed off. The Collector could probably guess now, what might happen.

[witchnordemon]

❝ Wh- 'course they're bad, but.. but the whole point is... is to protect us all from the witches, not... not- ❞ He stammered, unable to complete the thought. This didn't make sense. Philip was their friend. Friends... friends sometimes told little fibs, yeah, and they didn't like it, but... friends didn't lie to each other over and over again about real serious stuff like this! Making someone sleep forever and never come back 'cause you didn't like 'em was maybe the most serious thing of all time.

This was supposed to be a game, a game of getting rid of bad things, that did bad things to other - good! -people, and... and Collector was... Collector was helping him.

He was about to voice aloud that this was all just supposed to be play pretend when Valor said it wasn't just witches and demons that Philip hurt. He... he could attest to that, a little bit... sometimes, even if they were friends, the things Philip said to them when he was upset hurt. And he never listened when Collector told him that he was being mean, when they told him to stop it.

But then Valor did something- showed something, that had their eyes blown wide in shock... and more than just a little horror. That scar across his arm... Collector until now thought nothing of it, they heard that Philip's t-grimwalkers were clumsy, according to him - silly, feeble-minded things, he'd say, that always seemed to get themselves hurt.

But that wasn't actually the truth, was it?

No, it couldn't be, and as Valor lifted his shirt, they raised an eyebrow in utter confusion, which was quickly replaced with that same sense of horror and dread they'd just been experiencing. Those scars... were big. And scars that big didn't tend to happen to mortals unless they were really hurt, bad. That... wasn't his own doing.

Then, the brief thought that- well- maybe it was all an accident, that Belos just so happened to be around the grimwalkers when he'd lash out, that it was just a total coincidence that it happened every... single... time, maybe it wasn't on purpose, somehow... well... that fizzled out almost as soon as it came to their mind. He held his hands over his head, shaking it as Valor verbally laid out essentially the same train of thought he had gone through... that... it likely wasn't accidental, given everything.

❝ It doesn't sound like a mistake to me. ❞ He admitted his agreement, sparing a quick look at Valor's arm scar again as soon as he readjusted his clothes. ❝ And... and that's so awful. ❞ Collector managed to whisper out, eyes drooping. He wanted to yell, or... or... he didn't really know what, but he felt so much energy brimming inside of him with no way to escape.

They closed their eyes as Valor locked his pinky around their own, visibly deflating. They knew he knew the power of pinky swears... which meant none of what he said was a joke, it was all real. Philip had lied. He had lied to them - just like all their siblings, to get them to do what he wanted, to teach him all those complex spells, to do his chores and play his game the way he wanted, and... worst of all?

He had hurt the Collector's only other friend in doing so.

When they finally opened their eyes again, they crossed their arms and focused down on the floor beneath them, brow furrowing. ❝ So... what're you gonna do? What even can you do? ❞

Oh, titan. He did not know how to deal with this. Did the Collector really think Lord Belos wouldn't kill people to get his way? Did Lord Belos never hurt them before? No . . . No of course not. The Collector said he didn't know they were here. All he heard must have been from Philip, wherever that man was hiding.

Valor wiped the tears from his eyes. ". . . He says witches and demons are bad, remember? Of course he doesn't care about them. He just uses them to spread the sigils, and the whole point of the sigils is to kill all witches and demons for being bad. What's killing a couple beforehand if they're all going to die, anyway?"

He'd been trying to tell himself that things were different for Valor, because he was human, but he was starting to believe it less and less. It was hard to, with the amount of times he'd hurt him, with the threatening looks he'd given him. He was entirely certain he'd be killed for stepping too far out of line.

He didn't know how to respond to the Collector's question. Would a good guy do that? Was Lord Belos a good guy? An image came to mind of a demon healing him after a mission, of a family insisting he eat with them, juxtaposed against the way his uncle lashed out when he broke his staff. If Hope wasn't enchanting him . . . were the other demons not, as well?

He shoved that thought away before he could think about it too much.

"I . . . I don't know. But . . . he does. And . . . and it's not just- It's not just witches and demons that he hurts. Obviously he has yet to kill me, but . . ." He hesitated, then rolled up one of his sleeves, showing the Collector a narrow scar that went across his forearm. "He did that when I failed a mission. No time to heal it before he sent me off on another one."

After a moment where he debated whether or not he really wanted to be this vulnerable, he untied his belt and pulled up one of the flaps of his shirt, showing a much larger scar along his side. "He did that when I broke my staff." He wasn't going to go any further to show the one on his hip, so he just patted the area and said, "There's one from him here, too."

As he retied his belt, he said, "And those are just the ones that never got any healing magic. Most of the time they get healed and there's no sign of it. I can't count how many times it's happened. The . . . the curse lashes out a lot, you know? I . . . I'd like to say it's unintentional because, I mean, it's the curse, but . . . but it always seems to happen when I do something wrong, and . . . I don't know. I think he does it on purpose sometimes." Maybe more than sometimes.

He'd never told anyone that before. He never had anyone he felt like he could trust enough to tell. It was . . . strange. Refreshing, almost. He could never tell any witches or demons anything, and Lord Belos he could only tell some things, but the Collector . . . He could tell the Collector a lot. It was strange.

His ears dipped when he saw him hold out his pinky, saw the way it shook. It hurt. It hurt to see his friend like this. But what else was he supposed to do? He wasn't going to lie about this. Not to the one friend he had. Slowly, he reached out his pinky to hook around the Collector's, as much as he could with a shadow. Softly, he promised, "I pinky swear it's not a fib."

[witchnordemon]

The things Valor was saying about Philip... it all sounded so fake, so cruel, so... nasty and vile and completely unlike the best buddy Philip had said he was to the Collector.

Philip could be be stern. Philip could be callous. Philip could hurt feelings - but, he wasn't a bad guy! He- he only wanted the best for everyone... right? That's what he always said, what he always told the Collector when they protested about how unfair something sounded. He wouldn't lie. He wouldn't.

But... then... the Grimwalkers. Oh, stars, the Grimwalkers. If... if they weren't just toys, which... Valor didn't seem like he was, so if he wasn't... and he had thoughts and feelings and hopes and dreams just like Philip and the Collector himself... did the others? What was really happening when they broke? If... they didn't serve their purpose anymore... were they really being fixed, upgraded, made better than their previous model? Did they not remember the Collector each time he met them, because of all their new improvements, or...

The thought made his breath run ragged, mouth wobbling, clenching and releasing his shadowy fists repeatedly.

❝ He's... he's not- ❞ They tried and struggled to speak, ❝ Everything I ever heard about him... i-it... he's supposed to want the best for everyone! He's sposta protect everyone! Not... not hurt people so they go to sleep forever on purpose! ❞ Their voice cracked, and they shut their eyes tight.

❝ He... he's supposed to be a good guy! A good guy wouldn't do that! Would they? ❞ He voiced aloud, directed more to himself than to Valor, as the latter's words and implications danced around his mind.

Belos can't imprison them. They could escape. So he 'kills' them... he.. he makes them go away forever.

They eventually looked up at their friend, needing to know that this wasn't some big lie, some great big prank on them. It couldn't be true, they... they didn't want it to be true, but they had to know. Eventually they reached out a hand, tucking in every finger but their shaking pinky.

❝ You're not fibbing, right? You... you pinky swear this isn't a fib? ❞

". . . What?"

He turned to look at the Collector. "What do you mean he wouldn't? Of course he would. You- Maybe- Maybe you don't know, because you've been stuck here this whole time, but- But that's what he does. Someone- If someone stops serving their purpose, he gets rid of them. Especially if they've directly defied him. Letting them go just- just makes things worse. Leaves them able to tell others, spread the news that- that he's not what he tells them he is- A-and he can't just imprison them or they might escape, so . . . so he kills them, to make sure that won't ever have a chance of happening. Why do you think I'm always so careful around him?"

Really, he shouldn't even be here in this room right now. It was always an incredible risk, to be back in the forbidden rooms like this, but especially now, after he got too attached to Hope. He was certain that if Lord Belos caught him here now he'd be killed on the spot.

. . . He wasn't sure he could entirely bring himself to care.

"Hope . . ." He took a shaky breath. "H-Hope . . . stopped . . . She stopped- stopped being worth it, to him, so . . . so of course he . . ."

[witchnordemon]

Collector tilted their head at Valor's silence again, raising an eyebrow as he turned away from them. He was about to remark with some sort of quip when...

What?

He was beginning to... sort of grasp the concept of dying, of being dead. They'd had conversations, where he tried his hardest to understand something so completely alien to himself and his kind's very existence. They knew that... that apparently, mortal beings that got old would eventually lay down and go to sleep, forever. They would not get back up, they were not safe in the Archives, and... and their physical forms would return to the earth, but...

Hope wasn't old, not by a long shot - heck, they called her baby beastie for a reason. Was she "ill", something that could happen to mortals to make them "die" occasionally, that - while sad, couldn't always be stopped?

But then what did that have to do with Belos?

That internal question was what kicked a sick, all-consuming churning feeling in his body into motion. Philip was a nice friend! He wanted only the best for everyone- he was only protecting them, because he loved them so much! Even if he was strict, or could be snappy, or mean, he would definitely send Hope away so she couldn't hurt Valor if he was worried, b-but- he wouldn't do... he wouldn't-

He flipped from lounging upside down to a seated position in an instant, right in front of Valor but staring down at the floor instead, a deeply troubled expression on his face.

❝ Tha-that's not... I don't- why would- ❞ They stumbled over their words, ❝ it doesn't make sense! H-he... he wouldn't- ❞

Well, if the Collector wasn't going to notice him he wasn't going to say anything to continue the conversa- Oh nevermind.

He looked away at their question. Able to talk, but he didn't know if that counted as better. He still felt absolutely horrible, and exhausted to boot.

But . . . he really did need to tell the Collector what happened. If only so that they wouldn't keep implying that Hope was off alive somewhere.

Still refusing to look at them, he murmured, "Hope's not off with her family, Collector. She . . . She's dead."

There, he said it. He tore the words from his throat. Was that really so hard? Why couldn't he say it earlier? What was wrong with him?