#☾⋆⁺₊⋆ {verse} trapped beneath these bones

[witchnordemon]

In the downtime of waiting for Valor to feel okay enough to communicate again, Collector took some time just... observing the room around him in a way he wasn't sure he'd ever done before. Each time Philip had summoned them to talk, he was often brief and to the point, and Collector was so preoccupied with him, with telling their new best bud about powerful spells, or asking him about what he was doing out in the world, that they'd never had time to just... look.

Of course, there was the window, one he'd longingly looked out of whenever he had the chance, but now he was finding himself noticing little cracks in the walls, divots in the floor; areas where the passage of time showed itself in small ways.

As such, he was surprised when Valor eventually broke his way through their idle thoughts with his words. Still, they turned to face him, regarding whatever he had to say as much more important than simple observations.

❝ Baddd...? ❞ He repeated with a tilt of the head, ❝ Demons? Oh. ❞

The two of them had already established how they'd both heard, at length, Philip's teachings on how bad Demons could be; of their ability to enchant the minds of non-Isles residents - of the underlying malevolence behind their actions.

❝ Did a demon hurt you? ❞ They finally gasped, eyes widening.

Valor took several long moments to get a handle on himself again. And he made sure to wait this time, longer than he did last time, to make sure he had a better grip on himself. He felt bad for forcing the Collector to be silent for so long, but the last thing either of them needed was for him to fall into hysterics again.

Eventually, though, he swallowed and said, "It's . . . It's not a secret. Just . . . bad. I think. Maybe. I don't know. Bel- Lord Belos thought it was for the best. Demons are bad. You know? I didn't- This - crying - hasn't happened until now. I thought it was fine. I don't know why it's happening now. It was weeks ago."

[witchnordemon]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ TAG DUMP

[witchnordemon]

Collector did notice how disinterested Golden Guard seemed in what they were trying to get him to talk about, and he quickly began rummaging through his thoughts, thinking desperately for a conversation topic to keep their friend here, when... he announced he should go.

They were prepared to launch into a spiel about all the cool things that they still wanted to learn, when Golden Guard confirmed he would at least be back when he could... which, who knows how long that could be with Philip keeping him busy all the time.

They wanted to fight it so bad. They didn't want him to leave again. But he said he would be back the last time too, and he hadn't lied then. He probably wouldn't lie this time either... hopefully.

❝ Yeah, yeah, lots of... stuff. To do. ❞ He nodded, sulking only a little bit as his shadowed self returned atop his disc prison, prepared to return to the mind-numbing, voidal nothingness of the in-between once more. ❝ Next time, for sure... ❞ They repeated, soon as they saw the tablet cover come into view - as if holding him to his word, ❝ ...I'll make you tell me about mortal stuff and math. ❞

"What, pain . . . ? Yeah, that's um. A thing to let you know something is wrong with your body I think. So you can do something about it. Get a cut healed or something."

He sighed, reaching under his mask to scrub the tears out of his eyes. "Um. Sure, yeah." He sighed again as he dropped his arms and looked out towards the window. ". . . I should go." He looked back at the Collector. "I'll . . . be back when I can. But I need to go. Things to do, y'know." Not that he'd actually be doing any of those things.

He went over to his bag and checked to make sure he had his things packed away, mentally swearing when he saw the stand in there. He'd completely forgotten to put the Collector's tablet on the windowsill while they talked. Augh. Fine. Whatever. He'd do it next time.

He closed his bag and swung it around his shoulder, then grabbed the cloth that went over the disk. "I'll, uh. See you next time?"

[witchnordemon]

He nodded with excited vigor - the idea of further carving a new identity for himself... it felt good to think about, to choose his own path while he was stuck here, something good to remember this time by, with the help from his new friend no less.

❝ Do you have any lists? Books? ❞ They inquired with a tilt of the head. ❝ Like, of Boiling Isles names - I wanna look at 'em first, get an idea of what's cool. ❞

The topic switch to Titans had them beaming, then frowning, which was then accompanied by a slow raise of the eyebrows when Valor explained his way of thinking; of why Papa may have felt threatened by Collector's seemingly innocent and fun game.

❝ Tha- that doesn't make sense, of course I'm good, the Titans are my best friends, of course I know what I'm doing... ❞ Collector voiced, quieter than usual and much moreso to themself than Valor. But... as much as he knew he would never try and be mean or hurt the Titanlings... what his friend was saying actually did made sense. Valor was an expert on the beasties of the Isles. Even though he had never met a Titan, he was smart about this stuff; about how animals around him felt, so... he was likely onto something. Maybe Papa really didn't know that it was just a great big fun game, and he just got overprotective of his babies, so - he wasn't mad at Collector, right? It was just a big misunderstanding?

Their eyes widened, looking back at Valor properly and thumping a hand against their other palm. ❝ Valor! You prob'ly got it! Maybe he didn't understand the rules of the game! ❞ They concluded, tapping a hand against their chin. ❝ He thought I was playing too hard, or didn't know it was all just make believe, and no one was getting hurt - and he wanted to protect them. ❞

Collector deflated with a hunch of his shoulders. Now they felt kind of bad. They couldn't truthfully say they ever gave real thought about how Papa might have felt. They thought he liked them, since he let them live with his kin for so long... but maybe he just got mean 'cause he was scared, or unsure. Heck, Philip did that sometimes, too, and as much of a sourpuss he could be, they knew he didn't really mean it.

❝ ...I wish I could just... talk to him. ❞

Valor smiled up at him. "Tell me if you ever decide you want to be called that, then. Or anything else."

It would almost be . . . fun, if they did decide to take on another name. Then they could both switch to names neither of them had known the other by before. Something just for them. Something they shared together.

"Maybe he didn't know you wouldn't?" Valor offered. He sat back, placing his hands in crossed legs as he thought. "Like. You said it was the last titan. I don't know if it's the same for titans, but like . . . Have you seen the parents of young beasts? The ones that actually raise their kids instead of just letting them fend for themselves.

"Like . . . they get super territorial. Even if you're someone they know is good! You're never supposed to get near a mom with kits unless you really, really know what you're doing 'cause you could get maimed just for being nearby.

"And like . . . Like if all the titans were disappearing on him, he was probably terrified. He wouldn't want his kid to disappear, too. So he might not have been wanting anyone to get near them. And if you were actively seeking them out, maybe he saw that as a threat. Even if you couldn't hurt it, you could steal it away. You didn't mean any harm, but he didn't know that, so he lashed out in fear, you know?"

[witchnordemon]

❝ Yeah, we can travel long, long distances, and collect beings that are close to going away... and find a better place for them somewhere... someday. ❞ He ended, with a touch of uncertainty. Such circumstances were probably rare, but the idea of waking a mortal up from a nice long nap and giving them a perfect, brand new place to play forever seemed wonderful to them. After all, while collecting things was fun, getting to interact and play with them was much better - he'd know, it's exactly how he felt about Titans.

A noncommittal hum was Collector's response to the idea of a "mate", something they now knew Titans didn't have or need. Or did they? Titans could and often would choose to raise their babies with other Titans, even if they didn't need help having the eggs in the first place. Was that... different? Maybe it was - they'd have to inquire more into the topic, it was fascinating to hear all of this new, cool stuff about mortals.

He nodded to confirm Golden Guard's words, ❝ Yep, I'm from wayyy up there, ❞ he gestured up at the ceiling of the room they were in, ❝ I, um... don't remember a whole lot. Just what I said before - the sky, how it never changed, but there were so many stars and planets, and my siblings, and how they collected beings but didn't let me do it. ❞ He huffed, though... recalling and saying all this to someone brought back that similar aching feeling in their chest again. They... definitely missed it to some extent, and their siblings. Although he was always a tad upset at not being taken as seriously as the rest - he would do anything to see them again, for them to come back for him.

The despair that had been welling up in them dissipated at Golden Guard's reassurance. He wasn't going to leave them forever. And he wasn't going to forget about them either. He even - he even said he would come back. Even though he said it could take a while, he promised... and besides, lying in wait for what seemed like eons wasn't something unfamiliar to them in the slightest.

Collector exhaled a breath they weren't aware they were holding in (or that they had the ability to do?) and clasped their shadowed hands, looking at him from their place atop the tablet they would be retreating into shortly.

❝ I promise I won't tell.. Philip, or Lord Belos, or forget about you, neither. I can wait a long time - I'm really good at it! And while I wait, I'm gonna try my best to remember every cool thing I ever knew. I'm- I'm gonna think so hard about everything cool about Titans, and all my bestest stories. And you can tell me all about your favorite beasties, or about math... and I'll listen. ❞

". . . In the cosmos?" How did they even get up there? Were there places out there up in the cosmos that actually had similar enough environments to here that creatures could survive in them?

Aside from . . . that whole confusion, though, Valor seemed to accept their explanation. Ideally one shouldn't take any individuals from a dwindling species in the first place, lest that exacerbate the problem, but if it was for restoration purposes and they could eventually find a better place for them, then that was far better than just collecting them for the sake of collecting them at least.

He listened in fascination as they continued answering his questions about titans. Some of these creatures he knew were old, old species, such as the selkidomus and trash slug. Others he didn't. Ratworms, griffins, and giraffes all existed during the age of the titans? That was incredible. He wondered if they'd at all changed since then. But he didn't have the time to ask any more questions. Next time, maybe. If there was a next time.

"It means . . . Yeah, it basically means being able to lay and hatch eggs individually without the need for a mate." He wasn't going to go into the technical stuff with this kid. That's all he really needed to know right now.

"You're from the stars?" Valor asked, incredulous. Well, if he used to live in the stars that at least made finding where creatures could be moved to in the cosmos make at least a little more sense. Ohhhh he was going to have to ask more about the Collector's species as well when he had the time to.

Oh titan. Okay. Okay. Any uncertainty he had about not coming back was gone just looking at how pitiful the Collector looked right now. He couldn't in good conscious just abandon them like that. Alright, fine.

He wondered what funny word they were talking about though- Oh. The swear. Yeah sure he could teach them that.

"I promise not to forget about you," he told them. "And . . ." he took a breath, "I promise to come back. But," he emphasized, "Lord Belos keeps me very busy and it might not always be safe for me to come here, so it might be a while before I can, okay? But I'll try."

[witchnordemon]

They froze when Valor started squeezing his eyes shut and shaking his head real fast. Great, they thought, he was even upsetter now.

He did at least try and tell them what he needed, verbally, given that he couldn't currently see the Collector's attempts at easing his strife with nonverbal gestures. Man, they were just trying to help-

The return of the chokey voice thingy startled Collector, and he sat very straight, and very still. He could do that. ❝ Aye aye, holding on. ❞ He confirmed, mouth closing in a straight line as he watched with wide eyes.

"Yeah, seawater isn't really drinkable . . ."

Valor squeezed his eyes shut. Stop stop stop stop stop stop DON'T break down again DON'T.

The Collector was talking again. They were musing about what was causing his breakdown, and he couldn't do anything, couldn't say anything to it. They kept trying to talk to him when he couldn't TALK.

He shook his head rapidly. "H-hold on," he choked out.

[witchnordemon]

❝ Salty? ❞ Collector echoed, pondering for a moment. ❝ The sea was always kinda salty... back when it sparkled. ❞ He said, a wistful tone to his voice. ❝ It was salty, a little sweet, and fizzy too... Papa Titan always said not to drink it on purpose, 'cause it could make the littl'uns sick. ❞

And then... suddenly, all the progress they thought they were making with Valor seemed to vanish, as he froze (and clammed) right back up, and did the ears-down-sadness thingie that, for better or for worse, Collector was now growing familiar with.

They deflated a bit, shoulders hunching. He said he wasn't mad at them, and... they really hoped he wasn't lying. Maybe he was mad at something else?

Oh. Wait. He had told Valor about how, in the past, he wished people would be honest about when they weren't allowed to tell him something. He never liked it, but being lied to about it like he was stupid was so much worse than just being told he couldn't know yet. Even if it drove him bonkers, perhaps... whatever was making Valor have tears was something Collector wasn't permitted to know.

❝ Mmmmmnn... this is so hard - you're not mad, you're not fibbin', you're not lying about fibbing, you're not hurt... ❞ He quickly rambled, raising a finger with each item on the list as he spoke, ❝ so is it something you can't tell me? Is it a super secret? ❞ He prompted, curling his four fingers around his shadowy thumb, keeping it there for a moment before making a thumbs up at Valor and switching between that and a thumbs down a few times. ❝ Yes? No? Mmmaybe so? ❞

He nodded. "No it's, um." Wait, what was tears, actually? ". . . Salty."

Valor froze when they asked why he was crying, though, and he slapped his hand back over his mouth as the tears started up again. No no no no no keep it down keep it down!

Hope.

[witchnordemon]

The idea that he wasn't mad solidly tipped their scale right back on into bafflement territory. What did he mean he wasn't mad at them? That didn't make any sense, but...

❝ It's not water? It's something called... tears. Huh. ❞ That was interesting to him. He really did like learning new things, especially when his access to new knowledge was very much controlled and scarce... though, he was rapidly realizing that he preferred to find out new things in better, happier circumstances.

Still, if Valor wasn't being poisoned by these so-called tears, if he also wasn't mad at them, then, why...

❝ So... if you aren't mad, ❞ They began, not completely convinced, ❝ and tears don't hurt, then what made you do cry-ying? ❞

Valor nodded. He was glad he didn't have to explain what kind of emotion it was tied to. Especially since sometimes it just seemed to come out of nowhere for him.

Although, with the comparison to their siblings . . . "I'm not mad at you," he decided to clarify.

They responded well to his bare explanation, though, so he continued, ". . . It's called crying. The . . . The stuff is called tears."

[witchnordemon]

The Collector nodded slowly as he spoke. He was talking to them - that was a good sign. And he wasn't fibbing to them, or getting angry at them. At least, if he was, he was doing a real good job of hiding it.

❝ Emotional thing, ❞ They repeated, ❝ for when you feel... bad. ❞

Eyes closing, they shrugged. ❝ So... I guess it's a mortal thing, then. 'Cause I 'member Titans like to stomp and whine and grumble when they get upset. ❞ He tapped his index finger to his chin, glancing to the side away from Valor, ❝ And my siblings would just go really quiet and still whenever they got mad at me. ❞

No biggie? The amount of derision and scoffing and annoyance and- No biggie? Did the Collector truly not care about stopping their conversation in its tracks because he was so pathetic that he couldn't get a handle on himself?

He hesitated at their question. Maybe they didn't think it so serious a thing because they didn't know what it was. Would explaining it make them mad at him for it? He sniffled and wiped the tears out of his eyes. Titan, he was exhausted.

Maybe he could just . . . test the waters. Be vague about it, see how he responded.

". . . It's an emotional thing," he settled with.

[witchnordemon]

Collector continued to watch Valor as... whatever he was experiencing worked its way through him. It was so bizarre, even with the Titans, whenever they'd get upset; they'd whine and make high pitched noises and stomp their little paws until they felt better, but... he'd never seen one leak water out of their eyes like that.

❝ Sorry? Why? Oh! For doing that thing? ❞ They waved a hand.

❝ S'fine, no biggie, I just never saw that before. What even is it? ❞ They asked, hesitating for a second. While he very desperately wanted to know what that was, why it happened, how it happened, who it happened to, and why it happened to who it happened to, and when it most often happened to who it happened to when it happened-

He knew most people didn't like it when he asked a million questions. Philip certainly didn't. And it... seemed to make things worse, earlier, with Valor too.

Valor didn't respond to their words, but they gave him context that he noted as best as possible in his current emotional state. He had to. Missing any information while in this state could be catastrophic. Thank the titan they weren't telling him to do anything, at least.

It took a while, for him to feel like he could even try to speak. And when he did it still felt very, very fragile, like the smallest thing could send him back into hysterics. But he had to be able to respond again.

When he did, the first thing out of his mouth was yet another, "M'sorry . . ."

[witchnordemon]

❝ And als- oh yeah. ❞ They snapped their mouth shut fast at his reminding them that he couldn't talk at the moment. Right. How did they forget that? He had just said it! Was their own curiosity about mortal beings and their weird, gross... fascinating, kinda cool emotional displays really so important?

...Well, yes. But not right now. They had said that, even. That it was okay for their friend to be quiet for a little while... even if they didn't like it, even if they really wanted to know what in the cosmos was going on with him.

❝ I never seen that happen. ❞ Collector mused aloud, turning his attention to the ground, where he was now fidgeting with his fingers. ❝ Even if it doesn't hurt, I never saw that before. Not in a Collector, or even a Titan. ❞ And it was true - their siblings were often stern, cold, calculated - their anger; their upset... was strikingly calm. Nothing like whatever was going on with Valor.

They had been so sure for a brief moment that maybe that watery stuff in his eyes might be hurting him, but now... they had no idea.

Wait, did they not even know what crying was?

The quantity of questions back to back were too much, overwhelming, and all it resulted in was Valor curling himself up further as he tried to hide away from the too much of it all. That, and another broken, "I can't."

The last question, though, was easier to handle. It was separated out from the others. And he could answer that without saying anything. So he shook his head in response.

[witchnordemon]

Social niceties be darned, Collector was curious now. He leaned in, still astutely studying the hunched over person before him.

❝ Sorry for what? And what was that? Y'know, coming from your eyes? Can all mortals do that, or is it just- ❞ grimwalkers ❝ a you thing? ❞

Wait a minute... was this why Valor had been acting so weird all day? Strangely off, seemingly scared, waiting in anticipation for who only knows what?

He gasped as another thought came to mind.

❝ Does it hurt? ❞

Valor let out a confused, strangled noise at the Collector's sudden question, leaning away for half a second before burying his head back into his knees.

"S-sorry," was the broken apology he managed to get out between his sobs.

[witchnordemon]

Collector perked up at Valor's initial acknowledgement of their words, the head turn exciting him, a flurry of facts about Collectors preparing itself to come spilling out in the few milliseconds before they finally noticed his face... and whatever was going on with it.

His mouth remained open, whatever fun food facts he was going to spew forth forgotten as a stunned expression overtook him, eyes darting back and forth as he tried to figure out what exactly he was seeing. Water... flowing from the eyes?

❝ What is that stuff? ❞ They blurted, tone incredulous as they tilted their head to the side to get a better look at Valor's current predicament.

That was . . . better. It was far better than Valor was actually expecting. The Collector was still there so he still had the pressure of expectation, of pulling himself together in front of others, but they weren't . . . demanding anything of him. They weren't yelling at him for not pulling himself together sooner or telling him to get up and do something else.

He still didn't quite feel safe, but there wasn't much he could do but let it run its course, no matter how many false starts he attempted from times he'd thought he'd shoved it down well enough.

Especially when every time his thoughts drifted back to Hope, a fresh wave of tears came over him.

The Collector's question caught him off guard, and he looked over at him, still actively crying. "Huh?"

[witchnordemon]

At Valor finally responding to him, he rose up from being two-dimensional on the floor and took a seat beside him.

❝ You can't, huh? That's okay, we don't have to. I can do quiet. ❞ Collector replied, averting his gaze and mimicking Valor's posture by bringing his own legs up to his chest. Unlike him however, they rested their hands on their knees and intermittently, absentmindedly drummed on them.

... For someone who didn't like fibbing, he really wasn't good at quiet. Especially not when the whole situation right now was downright bamboozling to him. There was so much he wanted to verbalize, but he bit his tongue for the time being. Like... was the idea of Collector not being his friend anymore really so scary to Valor? And he was scared, correct? A lot of his behaviors didn't match up to their own experiences in being scared of facing their siblings' wrath, but... at the same time, a lot of it did.

A glance was spared at Valor every few moments; each second feeling like an eternity. He briefly hummed, idly, before realizing he was making noise, and stopping. They didn't want to break the silence, to start talking when Valor spelled it out quite clearly that he couldn't talk right now, but the (relative) silence was deafening.

They hated not having enough sensory stimulation.

❝ ...Did you know Collectors can eat space rocks? ❞

Valor didn't know what the Collector was referring to, what didn't he know what something meant? The word sorry? Did he not know what sorry meant?

But he couldn't ask, and he couldn't reply, so he just shook his head, already knowing that any attempts at saying anything would only result in failure, and he was not supposed to fail.

Although . . . Although they said they wished people would just say they couldn't tell them things yet. If that was true, could it avoid punishment for not saying things? He had no idea what to do to their response to him losing control, no idea what they actually wanted from him if they weren't insisting on him shutting up, but that, that was an indication of something they wanted from him, so he had to try. If he didn't, he could get hurt.

He shoved his knees under his mask this time, dislodging it a little further up on his head, though his knees still blocked his face as he sobbed into them, his grip on his legs tightening as he did.

But he tried to gasp out, "I- I can't-"

[witchnordemon]

Complete and utter bafflement was the only way to describe the Collector's response to Valor's increasingly strange actions at the moment.

That strange chokey noise he made... it didn't sound like anything they were familiar with. Sometimes, when a baby Titan ate too fast, they made a noise kinda like that, but... Valor didn't come here with food, right? If he had, they didn't notice, and besides... this sounded much different.

As their friend continued making that noise, Collector's eyes widened even further and slowly, he approached again, sinking down to be flush with the floor as he slowly rotated in a circle around Valor.

❝ I dont... I don't know... what that means. ❞ He confessed, hesitation in his tone. Being unable to even see Valor's face made navigating this much more difficult than it could've been, but...

Something about the situation was eerily familiar to him. How many times had he sunk down before his siblings, begging for forgiveness for some perceived transgression they had accused him of?

It was a distant, faint memory now, but... it was there. He had been in that position before, experiencing that now-faraway feeling, and now it seemed like Valor was there, right here, right now.

He was scared.

❝ We're not... not-friends anymore, ❞ They started, notably nervous as they began speaking rather quickly ❝ I just... don't like lies. I used to hear lots of 'em, all the time, and I never liked it. I always wished they would be more honest, or- or just said they can't tell me yet! ❞ Collector paused, trying to figure out what to say next - this was way out of his comfort zone, and he didn't want to make it worse. ❝ ...it doesn't mean I don't like you. We could always just... not talk, if talking isn't any fun right now. ❞

Valor cringed away when they immediately called him out on his lie. And when they told him they didn't like lies . . . ?

His breath caught in his throat as he jolted up, looking towards them in a terror that, though unable to be seen on his face, was clear in his body language. His escape route blocked, he started scrambling back along the floor, though the Collector's next words stopped him in his tracks.

Didn't . . . didn't the Collector say that a pinky swear was an incredibly strong promise, one that was not ever meant to be broken? It was difficult to believe that right now, that they weren't mad at him for breaking composure, but the rest of their words just continued to confuse him. There were no attacks, no derision. Just an offer to talk about something else.

Valor had no idea what to do with that.

Was it a test? An escape route? He couldn't even take them up on their offer, because when he opened his mouth to try to say anything in response, the thing that slipped out before anything else was a loud sob, something he immediately shoved his hand under his mask to cover.

"S-Sorry," he managed to gasp, muffled from both hand and mask. "I don't- know why-"

Another sob cut his words off and he pulled his legs up to his chest, burying his head into his knees. No no no no why this why now? He'd been doing so well! He didn't want to lose himself! Oh titan he was in so much trouble.

His body shook as he awaited the strike.

[witchnordemon]

As Golden Guard continued engaging and interacting with him, Collector's earlier panic continued to subside as they realized he wasn't in such a hurry to leave anymore. Still, he didn't want to risk letting a lull in conversation drag on, to potentially offer an exit to this visit up on a silver platter. What if he didn't come back?

...And what was there left to say?

❝ ...Y'know, the littl'uns would get real bad aches in their bones when they started to grow, ❞ He settled on, playing with his shadowy sleeves. ❝ It happened a bunch, because they could get so big, but I didn't ever get it back then, maybe it's just.. another organic lifeform thingy. ❞ They paused, risking a glance back up at Golden Guard before them.

❝ Um, and - maybe you could even tell me more about these mortal quirks sometime? ❞

"I . . . guess?" Valor said cautiously. He didn't exactly know anyone that wasn't mortal, aside from the Collector himself.

He sniffled as he tried to figure out the context to their questions. "The . . . point of headaches, or crying? I don't . . . I'm . . . pretty sure everyone gets a headache at some point in their life but crying-" A shaky breath. "-crying doesn't always result in one."

He didn't feel like talking much more. He was no longer panicking, but he was tired, and he wanted to just go back to his room and collapse. He should work on studying, but he didn't want to do that either. Maybe he could train Hope a little more, though . . .