#☼ − location: haven. / lysara.

[juliangladiator]

starter for @vuldak-juneau.

where: lupercalia

when: current timeline ma'am

note: gotta spin the block on our sad stuff :*

Juneau wasn't ever one to give her information freely, everything he'd learned he'd had to figuratively claw his way there, but Julian didn't often mind the uphill battle. "You ever have celebrations similar to this?" She'd always translated as a woof to him, maybe more teeth and claws, grit and rot, and Julian wasn't exactly well versed in the woof lore of it all to really dig any deeper. She was the first person he'd thought of when the celebration came to light; it had been all that many throughout Haven had been chattering about for weeks, as though they'd tapped upon a live wire and could not be quelled. In any case, Aurea had insisted Julian attend, and as such, Julian promptly insisted Juneau attend, too. "From what I heard, every wolf tends to have their own circle where they celebrate this." It's gentle enough not to be a very pointed question but there was still so much about Juneau that was merely a guessing game to Julian.

[juliangladiator]

starter for @shewolfaurea.

where: woof town (haven)

when: after neptunalia

note: will u be my mom?

How many times had Julian caught himself at the connecting waygate, stuck standing still before it, never daring to cross the threshold into Haven. Truthfully, he'd lost count, so many years where he'd sat unable to chase after the wolf dream which plagued him; a reminder of the beast he was but a promise of something that could garner more control if only he opened himself up to it. Fear was what often had him spiral, when turned he was this beastial thing with little regard to those around him, but the whispers of Haven and their Queen were compelling, and it sounded like a sanctuary that could rid him of his apprehensions/ - if only he were to take such leap.

Finally, Julian ventured, walking through what connected the protective mist into the confines of Haven; he'd heard of their wariness, their dire protection for their pack, and the emissaries that littered the thriving wolf city. Rumors still hadn't prepared him for what was, and he quickly, almost intuitively, understood that his presence here would not go unnoticed. "I think I've dreamt of this place before." That was putting it lightly.

[juliangladiator]

"As a fan of our matches you should already know I don't hop in any arena, mud or otherwise, without some sense of gold on the other end of the match," Julian smiled brightly, teasing on the matter, for he was certain it'd not take much to truly romp around in the mud if pestered about it. If he was to take offense at the question, or perhaps the way Napoleon almost curled his lip within asking it, Julian was genuinely oblivious, nodding along slowly, "It might sound weird to say but I've dreamed about being apart of a pack more than my mind has ever drifted towards the fame and adoration of the arena." Dior was the star, even Corinna adored the ability to put on a performance, and while Julian was always invested in the show, it never felt entirely correct in his heart. That would be a lot to dish out to Napoleon here, however, so Julian opted for something albeit cheesy but not necessarily deep.

"It doesn't mean I'd be saying goodbye to the arena," as conflicted as he was, there was some piece of him that'd always revolve around the coliseum and he couldn't leave it behind, not entirely.

Napoleon hummed a little bit to himself, swirling the drink a bit but otherwise not touching it - lest he lose whatever contents were in his stomach at present. He afforded Julian with the same lazy intrigue he reserved for things that were both beautiful and entertaining. "Oh, I don't know," he mused, the smirk never quite leaving his lips. "I think you'd look spectacular covered in a little dirt." His gaze swept over Julian, punctuated by a playful wink. "Besides, something is charming about watching a golden boy get a little tarnished." The flirtation was fun but Napoleon was quick to pivot, more interested in the why than the man. He still didn't get why Aurea wasted her time here. "This what you want? Live here of all places?" He asked, quirking his brow, the blonde didn't give the impression that he'd be up for roughing it in Haven but Napoleon wouldn't hold it against him.

Well, that wasn't true.

"I won't pretend to know much about wolves-" he held up a hand, "and that's not an invitation to explain it to me, I had enough of an anatomy lesson last night." Napoleon would end up with a litter by Spring and he wasn't exactly sure how he was going to explain that one to Mother Dearest.

[juliangladiator]

Maybe if the situation wasn't so serious he'd be wearing an expression that translated to a dog wagging their tail, but Julian was currently all business, especially with the tangible knowledge that Juneau was amongst the taken. Pain, distress, anxiety, it felt almost muted, but still prevalent enough for Julian's expression to be pulled into something more sour, his own anxieties clear. "Tell me where I fit into the plan," he'd heard the whispers, understood that Queen Arethusa was not interested in sending aid, but the only queen or noble's opinion/plan he cared for was currently standing right in front of him attempting to save not only Haven but those they cared for.

"And there's no doubt in my mind that you'd fight again." No, Julian had been someone she knew would fight without her having to ask him to. Freydis had vetted him for a reason and she didn't take the Veilmaiden's blessing lightly. If only the blonde would be there to see him be so brave. Something seizes in her chest at the thought, at the idea that she would look out once more at the crowd of people and Freydis wouldn't be counted among them. "I have a plan. A farfetched one, but it is something."

[juliangladiator]

"There will be times for you to idle," he said it rather simply and though it was a rather surface level statement, Julian thought it was rather profound indeed. His childhood was spent in such stand still; the days were long and full of work, but he'd been in a safe place, a home and community for himself, and if Julian never located such idle time again, he would appreciate what he had once had the opportunity to be surrounded by. Staying in place was often something others took for granted, those who did not realize how lucky they were to remain rooted where they were born, or to establish a homestead for keeps. He wondered of Freydis' life beforehand, what it was once nurtured with or instilled by, if she once thought she'd been granted such tranquility or if Freydis was not yet within such aspiration yet. He'd only just met her, but as his eyes glanced around the cabin, at the homestead she crafted so easily, Julian hoped this was her very something.

"Five years in the ring," this was the most Julian had talked about his sentencing ever, for he never much brought it up to the other gladiators. Each gladiator was simple enough, none ever cared much to ask such trivial small talk of how one ended up within the arena. Some aspired to stardom and found it came easily through violence and performance, others much like Julian lived a nightmare comparison. "I'd only just been freed from paying back my dues last year," Julian was eerily nonchalant given the topic of conversation, but there was still some small part of him which masked in front of Freydis currently.

"I appreciate that, Freydis, but it was Aurea who first welcomed me here. I'm sure it's no accident that I simply wandered into Haven," he learned after the fact of the witch emissaries guarding each post to enter and it seemed too good to be true that he had wandered in and immediately met the Queen. "I think she knows of how I've dreamed of this place, and I hope my story here is only just to begin."

“Precisely,” Freydis agreed with a sigh edged with regrets of the past. She tried not to spend too much time dwelling on regrets. She lived in a realm of what-ifs, somewhat more future focused as she grasped at straws and information as if she could save the world if she merely thought of every conceivable turning of events. Of course, she couldn’t, but she tortured herself daily with her own imaginings and anxieties. “Sometimes I’d just like to stay in place… But the world doesn’t allow for such things right now, does it?” she asked as she attempted to smile. She paused her work as he spoke further and understood that same struggle of worthiness, merit, and goodness. Freydis did not think she was a good person, did not think she could ever reach such a status after her penchant to file rank and file and uphold Iskaran rule even if she did not do so strictly. No, she would never be good, but she would upend the rest of her life to try and do good things. Though even there she overstepped to the vexation of others she cared about. “Well, you’re only young. There should still be time.” There should still be time to become something good. Should be. But there might not be. 

Iskarans were not looked upon favorably for their unforgiving laws and the making of Witchers. The more Freydis’ worldview expanded, she found it savage as well, but she was learning now that it was not uniquely Iskaran to keep order by means of violence. “That's barbaric,” she breathed, knowing somewhere internally this was a bit of a pot/kettle moment. The idea that disgusted her now was not so far off from the law she had upheld as a jarl. It seemed cruel and unusual to subject petty thieves to such a violent end. She might have understood this as a sentence for murder somewhat more if she had not endured an endless string of holmgangs; but she had, and thus viewed such a sentence as a slow execution of the soul. “And your sentence?” she asked quietly, as if she might get up that very moment, enlist in the Warrior’s Guild or sell her sword as a mercenary to pay off the debt of a boy he barely knew. She didn’t ask Julian what his crime was. If he wanted her to know, he would tell her. 

“I could arrange for you to meet with their queen, Aurea, if you wished,” she offered. Though, as she offered it, she knew she would wish to get to know the young man slightly more before assisting in such a connection occurring.

[juliangladiator]

Death was strange to him; it was this insidious mountain of a concept that Julian often felt difficulty facing despite the fact he enacted it nearly every other week or day within the gladiator ring. It was easy to separate himself from the monstrosities and beasts they corralled into the pen, easier still to ignore those with more heinous crimes than he. But what was more criminal than losing control on one's family? He could relate to having a quick recap of their stories, sometimes it felt impossible to face the truth and he simply nodded at Etienne, a layer of understanding because he liked to believe he had enough intuition to know that Etienne was a good pear. "We do things we don't expect of ourselves when we're trying to survive, right?" A weak smile then, nodding for a moment, "Well, gladiator werewolf." The smile grew then, waiting for Etienne to likely laugh at that transition, too.

Bitten then, that was interesting and Etienne couldn't say that Julian didn't have a point, the idea of a pirate werewolf sounded laughable, but they were both kind of testaments that stranger things had happened. They were strange critters themselves. It's not something he expects though, the other wolf seems so upbeat. Granted, he supposed he did too in comparison to what he'd been through. And the fact that if he had a tail at present, it would surely be wagging at the prospect of really finding someone else to bond with. "My father was a wolf, he and my mother never told me, I triggered the gene on the way to Lysara by killing another wolf." That was the easiest way to tell the tale, he'd found. To just keep it to the facts so he didn't start thinking on any of it too hard, he'd done enough of that in Shadowfell and there was little use dwelling. "Pirate werewolf." Etienne says out loud before taking another bite of his pear. "And now are you just a werewolf werewolf?"

[juliangladiator]

"I've had a lot of my time wasted, so maybe I'm just catching up on things," maybe it was squeaked out a little, but the other was imposing and was practically looking at Julian with deep umbrage. "Well, yeah," unfortunately the other had hit the nail on the head with their assessment, but Julian could shrug it off, even when words cut deep, he was always chronically cheerful on the exterior! "I wasn't bitten that long ago," bitten, clawed, whatever changed someone it'd certainly happened to him, "Less than a decade, but... I've been paying my dues since then." It was a vague recap of the violence his out-of-control state had inflicted and thus the sentencing given to remain within the gladiator arena for a sum of five years. Julian had been certain that it'd been a death sentence, but he had survived, and the wolf had even stuck around in the ring another year simply because he wasn't sure where to go next. The wolf dream had been a constant buzzing in the back of his skull, but he'd been scared, unprepared and unsure what truly awaited him if he were to follow his mind and the picture it had painted. "Why do you think I'm here?" Of course, looking for the one had bitten him was a bonus, but this wolf had dug deep and brought up many truths for Julian that he hadn't been exactly ready to bear to a stranger. "I have people in my life," protested, but the other predicted another scathing truth; Julian had many people within his life, but he'd little company of wolves thus far.

"Looking for someone? Is that the wisest use of your time? I doubt you'd have much luck finding anyone else before you have found yourself." This was a stranger, a wolf within the borders of Lysara, and something about the other's scent rang human in Uriah's nose. This was someone who was a werewolf in name only, someone who had no idea what it meant to be a part of a pact. Likely turned with no proper introduction into the life, possibly born and awoken later than the Feronia youths were, but Uriah was positive he knew through the history of bloodlines where potential dormant wolves resided within Lysara. He did not know this person at all. Well, he had a vague recollection, but Uriah couldn't place where their paths would've crossed. "Forgive me, but you seem aimless, like a pup trying to find his place among the pack. A little old to be figuring things out, no?" Still, was it his fault? If he was raised anywhere outside of the Wildlands or was only recently turned, Uriah could imagine how much of a struggle it was to understand if he was a beast or a man. "No one here dreams about that kind of stuff. I'm not special just because my roots run deeper than most. We don't measure wolves by how long their bloodline has existed here, we measure them by what they do for the pack. That's what you should be searching for, and what you're missing by the smell of it. A wolf without a pack is a sad, lonely thing to behold. Who in your life currently can you claim truly understands you?"

[juliangladiator]

Some wolves had already departed from Haven, those who felt they'd already lost the battle and slipped away from here with the mere hope of staying alive. Aurea hadn't faulted them for leaving and Julian wondered if Aurea truly felt that this was something they'd not return from; though it would be better to go down fighting than to live a coward's truth. Julian had faced death many times before, but such decision never had any stakes, it'd only been a performance for a crowd vying for bloodshed and the vital need for self preservation. This would be different, this would be for those taken, those not of the Feronia pack but equally as important. This was for a place Julian had finally felt was home and he'd not let the Kossith take Haven from him, from Aurea, from the rest of the wolves, nor from Freydis. "Of course I am; I take it you've made the same choice."

@juliangladiator Location: Haven

Haven was in disarray. At least, to the Vuldak he thought it to be so. There were those who wished to stay, those who wanted to fight for their home – and those who couldn't. Arguably, those were probably the most sensible of the wolves of Feronia. Still, Rhys didn't count himself as one. He knew Julian, had seen him before – met him before – but that was before the other had joined the pack. Rhys still lingered on the edge, told that it would be no problem, but still, he remained. "Are you going to stay and fight? If Aurea gives us a chance to?"

[juliangladiator]

Julian smiled, when last he'd met Luna it'd been at Neptunalia and it seemed to be a theme of her to crop up where the festivities doled out cheap spirits and cheaper food. "You don't have to tell me twice," the smile grew as her howl was expressed into the open sky; others returned the action, while some simply cheered at the thought. "I think we have to keep an open mind to understand the truth of what it means," looking past all the knots and crazy activities, there was celebration for what they were, there was camaraderie, there was pack. He nodded at the ring, where the two were not letting up on a rather close match, "Have you gotten your paws dirty yet?"

Who: open Where: Lupercalia

Wide blue eyes take in the well oiled scene before her, they said there was wolf culture, a wolfchella and as muscly brutes grip each other on their shoulders, she decided she could have fun with this lot. Comfortableness was overrated, hyper sexuality and getting down in the mud were much more fun. There are two wolves wrestling in the mud pit, skin bronzed and greasy and she lets out a little awoo, reverberating with a beastly tone that indicated that she was more than a simple maiden, her howl spoke of the wolf within. "Have some beer! It's shit but it's cheap, they say this is a yearly event, means a lot to some." She indicated towards the wolf who was sobbing over a loss in the gauntlet.

[juliangladiator]

Julian had not been treated kindly in regard to his ability of transformation; how the former ludi often pushed him to limits to shift, something feral instead of something Julian fully understood and adored. He smiled, almost fondly, at the idea of the wolve shifting together and going out on a hunt; it spoke of something he never had prior, something he was somehow fearful of. Family, friends, allies, all such could be taken away and he never liked to be vulnerable when it came to that. He'd been isolated thus far, alone; those of Dior's ludi he'd come to befriend but Julian often preferred being an arm's lengths away, he didn't wish to hurt anyone on accident any longer. "I don't think it's ever left me alone," grimly teasing, Aurea seemed teeming with excitement, and it was practically infectious. "And I know it's always been calling me here. I've fought for you, for Haven, and I'd do it again without question, Aurea." Should he be calling her Queen Aurea? Oh well, Julian always drank his respect women juice so even if he flubbed on the title, Julian was certain Aurea could feel the vibes.

"We have options." This is exactly the kind of distraction she needs, she almost feels downright excited to be discussing such a thing. Julian is someone who feels....Important in a way, a young wolf who still hadn't entirely come into his power, might not be entirely comfortable yet. It was a phase she thinks she'd skipped somehow, she hadn't been afraid of her first transformation, she'd been awaiting it. "There are those of us that stay behind who prefer to be individually supervised at the fairgrounds. But the rest of us shift and go for a hunt together." It's something she's looking forward to, the full moon approaching always made her feel like she was ready to jump out of her skin, keeping her antsy. "You can feel it, can't you? The pull of the moon."

[juliangladiator]

He'd been trekking through each obstacle in life on autopilot ever since he'd been bitten. Lost, not quite sure of anything, being within the gladiator arena had first been a punishment until Julian was absorbed into Dior's ludi, until he'd made some sense of a muddled family there, but it wasn't ever home. Each night he'd laid his head down, his mind traveled to dreams which felt so wholly tangible, a life Julian could lead if only he'd made such jump from the chains which bound him; chains that once were real but were now only a figment of his memory, tethering him to scars he couldn't quite leave behind.

A weak smile finds him, weak because he, too, might get a little teary otherwise. Aurea had grabbed him by the shoulders and looked at him so intently it was as though she was trying to see into his literal soul to affirm everything she seemed to already be thinking. He gave a singular nod only because words had momentarily escaped him, shrugging softly, "I was told that the arena is much different from war, that maybe I wasn't prepared. But I was going to be there regardless, and I'll be there each time if you'll let me." There was certainty that, at this point, it went unsaid, but Julian's motive here had been to be undeniably pack so the young wolf had to make it unmistakably clear to Queen Woof.

Aurea stops in her tracks and even though she knew this was coming, she hadn't been prepared for the weight the words would hold. They're heavy but they're warm and it's not like people didn't offer to join the pack, but each person still held a special place in her heart. For her, it was the ultimate validation that she was doing something right to have someone want to share her home. To give someone their place, as someone who had never quite found it until she'd come to the Wildlands, it meant the world to her to provide that for another. Turning abruptly, she takes Julian's shoulders and looked to him squarely, pretzel precociously looking through one of her fingers to keep it safe as she did so. "When you went to Aventia, it never occurred to me that you were going to prove yourself. I knew from the moment you stepped foot here that you were going to defend home." Aurea's smile is soft and her eyes are glassy and she'll claim it's the alcohol, but she also thinks Julian is aware enough to know otherwise.

[juliangladiator]

"Is it really a path you think most gladiators choose?" Void of any scrutiny, Julian asks the question in his typical earnest and golden retriever way. There were some, like Dior, those who enjoyed the performance meshed with the violence of it all, but Julian had to become accustomed to it, learned to survive in the ring because the fuck-it-we-ball burned brighter than the give-up-and-perish around him. "-I'm considering retiring before my body gives up," he's smiling way too wide for how depressing this conversation truly feels in the grand scheme of things, but what little Aradia knew of him didn't involve what tethered him to the gladiator ring and he tried to skirt around that.

"I won something this time that I think may be of use to you," realistically, Aradia's lucky she's practically the only witch he knows. Julian digs through his pockets, unearthing the ring that pulsed with ancient arcana, a dark energy emanated from the ring which he'd been weary of since. "The opposing gladiator's we took down... one had been wearing this." He'd like to believe he also vibe-checked Aradia correctly and figured she wouldn't be up in arms about a gift from a dead man.

Somehow, she was still capable of living her life. It was easy to accomplish when she'd gotten a swift kick in the ass from her sister. Of course she wasn't acting like herself right now, but that was much easier for her to think about doing than actually doing it. Nevertheless, poor Julian needed somewhere to find people like him. Why not Haven? Aradia was an emissary and that meant she was going to attempt to make the place stronger to secure Aurea's position. Julian was a gladiator, too. He'd be an immense help to Haven if they ever needed it. He also seemed like a very good egg so that was just a bonus.

"Well, I like to hear a 'thank you' once in a while so you can keep saying it until you figure it out if you'd like." She made the suggestion with a smile on her face. Actually, she wasn't sure if it even looked like a smile. Maybe she just looked constipated and it would be weird for both of them. Anyway, she dropped the smile so that it didn't make things awkward and moved on. "Do you think you need a different path? The gladiatorial arts not cutting it for you?"

[juliangladiator]

This is far from deja vu - fighting another enemy, another strike against Haven - it's dread, wholly and completely and his heart is sinking in his chest. When the meeting had been called and Freydis still did not appear, reality set in for Julian that she would not be here to help assist them in any battle that would crop up; not an if but a chilling when. He's new to the pack but Julian had understood, even long before officially becoming a member, that such status did not dilute any of his opinions to Aurea. "I fought for Haven before and I think you'd know my stance of having to do so again." What he knew of the Kossith seemed to be figments of nightmare fuel, the darkspawn inconsequential to their status, but Julian would not be weary in face of the new enemy, especially considering all they had taken already.

Person: Open to those in Haven Location: Meeting Hall Notes: Girl it's a state of emergency again She wants a vote, she wants to know what everyone thinks before she makes the last call. Her word is ultimately law and she'd already lost wolves to Aventia, she doesn't know if she could send them all to fight again. And yet where would they go if not Haven? Where would they go if not home? Anxiety sits heavy in her chest as she stands there in the center of the long table, looking out to the wolves and those in Haven that had all crammed into the meeting hall. The Wildlands, they could venture further there, those too weak to fight would go there anyways, she'd find a place for them. "Haven is home." She says to the room, head held high and circlet upon her head feeling heavier than ever. Looking out and not seeing Freydis felt like an actual punch to the gut. "We were lucky enough to fortify it against the darkspawn and survived the packs of them that appeared. The Kossith are not something we can fight alone."

[juliangladiator]

His friend and fellow gladiator had been within Avalon since Aventia had fallen, at least that was all Julian had known. He'd returned to the training grounds of the ludi every so often and the ring had light skirmishes with beginner gladiators as they seemed to wait for their reigning champion and fan favorite to return. "Then I'll hope to tell him myself," quietly affirmed, though with a small smile, his head canting to the side, "If he was in the stands with you, you'd be missing half the fun of sitting in the stands, no?" Though Julian understood with that depraved twinkle in Napoleon's eye that that wasn't an accurate assessment and the Sinarian was getting his own.

Julian paused as though to pretend he was thinking on it; there was once a thought that he'd turn and leave it behind, joining Haven and turning away from what the gladiator arena represented. Having been absorbed into Dior's ludi he had learned it didn't have to feel so awful, and Julian was left with such conflicting feelings in his heart over it.

Outwardly, to Napoleon, he simply shrugged, "It's not my call, but I'll be waiting for something grand to be put together with our show at the center." That felt correct, and he matched the others lazy smile, "I don't know if this blonde coat is meant for mud wrestling but I wouldn't be opposed if it was part of joining the pack." That was his own subtle way of saying though he was a wolf, there was a genuine reason for being here today.

Napoleon accepted the goblet with a lazy, indulgent smirk, fingers curling around the stem with practiced ease. He swirled the wine absently, watching Julian with a glint of amusement in his still-heavy-lidded eyes. Save point, was it? That was a charming way of putting it. He did feel rather like he’d respawned into his body - albeit one with debuffs in the form of soreness and a lingering, pleasant exhaustion.

He took a slow sip, exhaling as the wine spread warmth through him. “You’re not far off,” he admitted, his smirk deepening as he tilted his head. “I imagine you'll be able to tell him yourself soon enough, we were in Eterna together not long ago.” His tongue flicked out to catch a stray drop of wine from his lip, rolling it back with a sigh. “I keep telling him the box gets lonely, that he should keep me company in the stands. You gladiators,” he sighed, "you always win in the end."

Napoleon stretched with all deliberate and unhurried movements before letting himself sink further into his chair. “My birthday was many things, but as entertaining as the sport was, the after party was much more fulfilling. " he sighed dramatically, " - do you plan on getting pulled back into the ring anytime soon?" Napoleon looked around, the festival, it looked as though a fight might break out at a moment's notice. "Or maybe something less... official?"

[juliangladiator]

"To get you out of here," stated rather quietly though his approach is granted after a clear assessment of the Queen. Aurea had chipped away piece by piece of herself to protect the front lines of Haven, the heart of everything she'd worked for, to stand undefeated as their leader amidst a time where everything in the world had become so uncertain. Julian hadn't known her deeply, but Aurea had accepted him near immediately and that was worth its weight; he could also see that the Queen wouldn't allow herself even a moments reprieve from the madness if it meant she had missed the chance to help another in her flock. "I was hoping you could squeeze in a walk," he's so certain that it'd be enough of a reset to salvage her from the organized chaos that filtered around them and Julian wasn't gonna let her shoo him away.

Person: All Those in Haven Location: Fairgrounds Tents that had once held refugees now were occupied by different squadrons and their tasks. The wall was consistently being reinforced by magic and thick timber etched in sigils, guards were training, medical provisions were being sorted. It was organized chaos and while one could never quite be prepared for such a siege, Aurea would like to think they have a firm grasp on what they're doing. People who'd volunteered their help came to her and she fit them to their appropriate tent after first disclosing her gratitude towards them. It doesn't ever quite seem to end, she has no sense of time as she meets with advisors and offers advice as they disclose the status of their efforts. Tired doesn't begin to describe how she feels, but she turns to the next person who approaches anyways. "What are you here for?"

[juliangladiator]

"It's okay to be afraid, Juneau," Julian felt tear tangibly, it was something he was so finely tuned to some days he wished to ignore it altogether, but it taunted the gladiator from the moment he picked his head up in the morning to the very second his head hit the pillow at night. If the waking world wasn't miserable, fears had followed Julian to his slumber, taunting him through the wolf dream, showing him a life he could lead if only he allowed bravery to carve a path within his heart. Today he would not let fear be his guide, Julian would complete what he set out to do, Julian would be a Feronia wolf. "It's just not fair sometimes for you to act too cool and skulk in the corner, if you want to support me then prove it. Show me." A challenge marred by yearning but it wasn't an ultimatum and it likely never would be. He didn't mean to ignore the embrace, but the little wolf was speakin' up, "I don't want your regrets, your apologies and clarifications after the fact. I just want you to be up front with me in the moment…. if you can." His argument began to lose steam the more he spoke, Julian shrugging in the end, sourly, "I don't think I ask for too much."

Juneau stared back at him, waves of guilt evident in both her expression and across the bond they shared. She was there for him, in a physical sense. She was failing him on all other fronts, and she knew it. Her weight shifted and she shuffled her feet trying to think of something, anything to say to soften the sharp edge of her ineptitude. She had tried to tell Julian it might be better if he abandoned any prospect that included her and found someone else, someone better. He didn’t want to. She didn’t want him to either. Juneau chewed on the inside of her cheek as she tried to think of what Alder might say. “I’m… glad you’re doing this. Just because it’s not something I want doesn’t mean I don’t see why you would,” she tried, though it sounded like she was struggling to pull her thoughts together. “I’m really proud of you for doing this, and happy for you, too.” She glanced away when it felt like too much and tried to swallow the anxiety that came with the awareness that she lacked what she wanted to give him most. “I want to hear all about it after,” she told him in earnest, nervously lifting her arms to offer him a hug she was almost certain he’d forego.