#☠ | did everyone see that? because i will not be doing it again { headcanons }

[smytherines]

☠ agent curt mega pretty pleaseeee

Ooooohhh angry/violent headcanon for Curt. This is an interesting one. I wrote waaaay too much here and I'm probably gonna end up in fandom jail for this one, but...

I mean we've talked about this before, but I genuinely do not see the horrible toxic manipulative Owen/little innocent cinnamon roll Curt dynamic that a lot of people seem to get from A1P1. It just doesn't track for me with what actually happens in that scene. Interpretation is an art, and everyone's art style is different, I just personally can't see anything to support it.

For me, pre-fall curtwen is a relationship of equals. Equals who often irritated each other because they were very different people (but also because they were very similar people), equals who didn't have any real concept of how to have a healthy relationship (especially with another man), equals who individually had a lot of flaws and messed up coping mechanisms and (in my headcanon at least) neurodevelopmental disabilities that made them uniquely suited for espionage, but also gave them all sorts of weird problems that they had no way of understanding or fixing. For me, they each gave as good as they got. For better or worse.

So keeping that in mind, I think about that part of A1P1 where Cynthia is insulting Curt while trying to recruit Owen to A.S.S., because that interaction, and what comes after it, is very important for my understanding of who pre-fall Curt was as a person.

Even though Owen doesn't entertain the idea of working for A.S.S. for even a second, Curt gets jealous, and pissed off, and hangs up on Cynthia. I think Owen's line is "What are you, jealous? You know I'd never work for the Americans," and its incredulous, like its a silly thing for Curt to get upset about because Owen would never even consider it. Curt pulls his flask out as soon as the call is over, and he responds to Owen pretty sharply by saying "Oh I do know that you couldn't handle it." He responds as if Owen has threatened his status at A.S.S.

We see this dynamic again when Owen chastises him for drinking, and Curt mocks his accent while saying "not until the jobs done." We see it again when Owen gestures to the banana peel like "what are you doing," and Curt responds fairly harshly with (I think, I'm doing this off memory) "this whole place is about to be garbage anyways, who gives a shit."

Those moments, for me, imply that Curt gets embarrassed easily, he gets jealous easily, and that he reacts very defensively when he is criticized, which is just Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria 101. It couldn't get more typical RSD than that. And each criticism, even though they're individually pretty mild, just seems to make him act more recklessly during A1P1, like he's trying to show that actually he's a badass and Owen just worries too much. Again, very RSD.

The thing about RSD is that- especially when you don't know you have it- sometimes your first impulse is to get furious. Not annoyed. Not irritated. But like blood pulsing in your ears, seeing red kind of furious. Your heart rate elevates. It's like your body goes into fight or flight, and more often than not your body is going to pick fight. And because ADHD is a lifelong thing, unless you're getting treatment or at least a diagnosis and information, you literally have no concept that this is not how other people react emotionally, so you justify your own behavior because you truly do not understand that this isn't normal (ask me how I know hahahaaa)

As much as we love them, and as much as I truly believe they loved each other, they probably got into a fair few fistfights over the years. These are two men who are accustomed to violence. Who are very good at violence. Who have a flirty torture scene and then tell the guy whose knees Owen just shot out that "you've just been used for sport" (Owen), and "I hope you had fun- I know we sure did" (Curt).

To me, pre-fall Curt seems like the type to put Owen down a lot with relatively minor digs "as a joke" (aka he is bad with feelings), and to some degree it doesn't bother Owen that much because that's just how they are. They banter. But sometimes, maybe when Owen is tired or feeling particularly sensitive that day, he'll go straight for the jugular- zero in on the thing Curt is most sensitive about. With Curt its death by a thousand cuts, with Owen its a laser guided missle.

I've talked about this before too, but I think that by the time we get to A1P1 Curt probably already has a bit of a drinking problem. After the fall, drinking is just how he manages to survive his grief. But I think before the fall he could get miserable and sour and petty while drunk, take out his insecurities on the people around him, and probably on occasion just start fights because he's bored and will take any stimulation he can get.

I don't think this is just a thing he does with Owen either, I think this has probably been a problem for him his whole life. He feels things very close to the surface. He is very emotional, which is a thing you're not allowed to be as a man, as a boy/teen/man in the 30s, 40s, and 50s, and a thing that is very dangerous if you are a gay man during this time period.

He also has a big fucking ego. During the 54 Below concert spoken intros they describe what happens in A1P1 as "when these two spies are together they are gay and unstoppable- until Curt's ego gets in the way." And I think a big part of that ego is wrapped up in his performance of his gender. That if he's the very best at this extremely hypermasculine profession then nobody will notice any of the stereotypically feminine traits he has, no one will think he is actually sensitive and tender-hearted and more vulnerable than he appears. He thinks that performing stereotypical 1950s masculinity will insulate him from anyone ever finding out his secret- that he likes men, that he's in love with a man.

Also, ADHD can make you very impatient, easily bored, and Jesus let me tell you I know from experience that when an ADHDer gets too bored for too long, they get irritated. At everything, at nothing. So the combination of these factors makes me think that he probably was the kind of kid to get into scraps (especially at any suggestion that he was not masculine enough), the kind of adult who felt too much and got it out with aggression. He was a brawler. Spying helped focus his aggression. He got to still have it, but he got to feel like it was serving a noble purpose.

I do also think that, even if he gave Owen a lot of shit (particularly for the crime of not being American), if someone insulted Owen in front of him, or if one of their enemies hurt Owen, I fully believe Curt would go full-on berserker mode to defend Owen. So it isn't entirely a negative thing. He can utilize his anger and violence to protect people he loves too.

[short-black-diamond]

May I request Blue Exorcist Lucifer relationship headcanons with a half angel female s/o? Please and thank you!

Not me looking up who tf Lucifer from blue exorcist is, I only watched the first season... ☠

Also, I'm doing this like a fic, so it's going to be very long!

Anywaysssss, I tried my best! Also, I'm sorry for taking so long! 

I didn’t proofread..

Here you have:

Lucifer's relationship with a half angel s/o!

I hope it's okay if I put this in headcannons...

How you two first met:

So, as I have researched, your dear Lucifer is a polite man, level-headed and has great manners!

I'd like to think that he likes to go on walks and such, just...enjoying the peace and quiet.

And where would that fit best?

Right.

A cemetery.

So, as he looks over the many graves, reading some familiar names to which he apologizes in his head, also wishing them a peaceful afterlife, he hears you.

You're not crying. Rather talking. Sitting in front of a row of graves, putting a different kind of flower species in a bouquet to every single grave which you've decided to grace with your presence.

Now, don't get me wrong. He didn't know that you were an angel, or a half angel, at least. You looked like a decent human to him.

But, he was intrigued with the way you spoke to a bunch of dead people as if they could hear you. But oh well, everyone had their fair way of coping when dealing with losing their loved ones.

Lucifer could see your face, you kneeled in front of a small grave, your hands starting to shake.

He goes over to you, ready to help, when he sees wings spreading out from behind your back.

He quickly looks around him as if to make sure that no one is here.

But surprisingly, there's no other person beside him except you and the hundred other dead people buried in the ground.

Then he mentally slaps himself, because why did he check if anybody was looking? those were your wings and not his.

Just as he could think deeper into this, you spoke up. "Oh, I'm so sorry, ah. Um, well, you see, those are....not-not ...real?", you muttered, gesturing to your very real looking wings. trying to lie. Too bad you were partly an angel, so not telling the truth was rather impossible for you.

He gave you a look.

To which you slumped your shoulders.

With a sigh, you introduced yourself. "My name is Yira Hideyo, and you are...?"

You didn't expect him to turn into a gentleman though. "I am Lucifer, also known as the King of the Light. And I couldn't help but notice how...etheral, you looked while you conversed with the gone."

You looked to the graves, a sad and solemn expression on your face. your wings dissapeared. "They're...my friends. They all died during a tragic incident. And what will happen now? Will you kill me?"

He was perplexed, to say the least. You elaborated. "Well, you're like, the king of the light, Lucifer, and you're most possibly a demon. My identity was revealed to you the moment I showed my wings to the public eye."

He sighed. "I am not really one to look for danger, war, or negativity. I want peace."

You didn't trust him at first, but after you two talked about what he was meaning and what you'd like for the world, you two started to become...aquaintances.

How you two got together:

Lucifer frequented that place from now on, in hopes of seeing you again. Because first of all, why was an angel like you here on earth? How did your friends die? And ... why did he even want to see you at all?

It all started to make sense when he felt weird sensations whenever you noticed him and waved at him. When you smiled.

When you talked to him about anything and everything. You leading the conversation and him following. A half angel and a demon falling in love with each other.

He asked you out to dinner, after half a year of getting close to you. He felt like you'd be right by his side. Even though you were a half angel, how you'd explained. You told him that you couldn't return home to the heavens, which is why you had to stay here on earth and mourn the dead.

But, you also had to look after an adoptive pet your higher ups have ordered you to. To look after a bunny.

His dinner plans might have been cancelled, but he got to meet an even softer side of you than he did the past months.

You were much more quiet, calm, slow and friendly around that little furball. He adored it.

"This...is a bunny." "Wanna pet it?" “Yes.”

And that’s how he knew that he fell in love with you. 

You were just so...friendly. You did as you were told. You were calm. And he was the same as you. He felt like being together with you would be a good option. So he asked you while laying his hand on that pet of yours. 

You were hesistant, of course. I mean, who wouldn’t be when a literal demon king would ask you to become his significant other. 

You didn’t care if the higher ups in heaven would cut off your wings, because you fell in love with the beautiful man too. 

You loved how well-spoken he was, or how much of a gentleman he could be. He looked at you with nothing but fondness in his eyes. 

You could remember vivdly when he showed you his illness and you just spoke a few spells to cure it (let’s just pretend it went like that), revealing not only a romantic personality, but good looks too.

And when the higher ups tried to take you to heaven to cut off your wings and turn you into a human or worse, a demon, Lucifer defended you, taking you, your belongings and your pet bunny with him to his home. 

There, you two stayed undercover. But, it was nice. To know that the King of Light would protect you from the people who sent you down to earth to do such...human things. 

Now, talking about your guys’ relationship (I’m sorry it took so long, I just tend to write much, like a story to get into the flow, you know?), I think that it would be a very calm and loving one. 

Lucifer would compliment your very appearance daily, also your voice when you sang a song, ask about the different kinds of flowers again and again so that he could burn them in his mind. 

His love language would be acts of service, like giving you gifts, doing some household chores when you were not able to, giving you a massage or just simply being with you in one room. 

This leads to his second type of love language. Along with acts of service, he would be really into quality time, and I think he would also be a touch-starved person. I headcannon that because of his illness, nobody wanted to get close to him in fear of getting infected, so when you touched his cheek or hand the first time, he felt anxious, telling you to not touch him. 

But, after talks and reassurements such as lingering touches, the demon finally gave in and let you hug him, which was something he never knew he needed until this very moment. He is a clingy, touch deprived gentleman. 

Referring back to your wings, I think he would be mesmerized. It could be the first time that he had seen a woman with the wings of a bird attached to her back. Leading to him constantly giving you back massages in hopes of getting your non-existent back pain from having such large wings away. 

He also asked you to show him your wings again, and when you also offered for him to touch them, he hesitated. But when he touched the feathers, ir felt like he touched clouds. Soft and fluffy to the touch.

To the topic of you being some sort of half angel, Lucifer thought that you could have done womething wrong. 

But then you explained to him that you were about to become an angel. You were just a dead person, who has done too many good deeds to go to her afterlife. And that was how you were practically forced to watch your loved ones either keep climbing up to heaven or slide down to enivetable hell. 

Some nights would be spent with you crying over all the people you had to leave in order to become an angel, but you didn’t even accomplish that- to which Lucifer felt very guitly. It was his fault that you couldn’t become a full angel after all. 

When he asked you what a whole angel could do, you only shrugged your shoulders in childish wonder, because you genuinly didn’t know the answer either. 

That was how he promised himself to take care of you from now on, so that these stupid higher ups wouldn’t take you from him.

So, all in all, your guys’ relationship would be very sweet and loving. Even though there would be some dark moments with you thinking about your dead friends, and Lucifer thinking about putting hell and earth (or was it heaven??) together, you two would always comfort each other.

...

Phew, I hope it was alright with you. I think that given to the lack of information about that character - or maybe he had more screentime- I couldn’t really give him a personality other than making him polite and calm...sorry.

Anyways, I’m open for other requests!

[sallysavestheday]

☠ - angry/violent headcanon for fingolfin!

Thanks, @welcomingdisaster! From this list.

Fingolfin, hm. Lots going on there.

Frequently angry. Did you think the rest of the family had a corner on rage? Oh, no.

There's too much of an age difference for him to fight physically with Fëanor as a child, and he learns quickly that no one can win a war of words with the Spirit of Fire, so he spends a lot of time screaming into his pillows until he gets old enough to figure out that vigorous physical activity lets him both work out the fury and look like he's blowing off the provocation because a ride/hunt/swim/game is more important than whatever you're on about, Fëanáro.

He can feel the violence building up in him and doesn't like it, so throws himself into those alternate ways of releasing it pretty seriously, as a balance for his more scholarly pursuits. He takes very quickly to the sword when the time comes, oh yes he does. Fingon and Argon's recklessness is Fingolfin without a harness: he understands and loves them for it and it terrifies him for both of them, with good reason (see: Argon's end).

He tries the Marmee trick of thinning his lips and leaving the room when he's slightly older. It doesn't feel very good, except for that one time when Fëanor points a sword at him and he gets huge "maturity" points with the Valar for turning his back and walking away. Which, since he actually does want to be King, and ends up Regent, is a pretty good outcome. Stuffing things silently into his heart becomes his primary mode of conflict management thereafter.

Which leads to a reputation for being all ice where his elder brother is fire. Very handy for managing the host across the Helcaraxë, and taking charge of the mess Fëanor has left behind (oh, for the lost chance to really whack things out with that loathed/loved brother...just you WAIT until we meet in Mandos, Fëanáro!). And it allows him to pass on the perception of barbarity within the family to the seven fellas managing the Eastern Marches, although he's secretly very fond of Maedhros. It's very useful, for the King, to be seen as the civilized one.

But in the end it eats him up. Anair�� was his sounding board, and she's gone. All his elegant politicking gets him nowhere with Thingol. And the people he's responsible for and love keep dying! He was not angry with Finarfin for turning back -- rather, relieved that the whole family wasn't about to be thrown into Morgoth's maw -- but he fails to keep his brother's children safe, fails to keep anyone safe when the fires roll down over Beleriand, and he just...

Makes what he thinks is a calculated decision that is really grounded in despair. Not a sudden off-the-cuff charge, but a deliberately if quickly planned attack, as I've written in A Wind Amid the Dust. Fingon's ready to rule: he hates it all but he's as ready as he'll ever be, and he's a hero, and there's not much left, it seems, to actually be King of. It will be manageable. So Fingolfin wraps all those centuries of anger up in his armor and carries them to the very gates of hell, looking for the fight he was never allowed to have. He's laughing as he dies because it feels so good, at last.

When he gets to Mandos, Fingolfin and Fëanor have a prolonged and exquisite cry together about the deliciousness of rage-fueled violence and how badly it damages everyone they left behind. It's a good start for a reconciliation. They'll get there, in time.

Thanks again for asking! I love these asks: please do keep sending them, folks!

[straye]

the salty af munday meme. (reformatted from here!)

☠ What does someone have to do for an instant unfollow from you? untagged / uncut smut roleplay, any display of bigoted or hateful views, guilt-trippy words, vagues, pity fishing. new one bug misgendering me (she/her and they/them are NOT my pronouns: I LITERALLY HAVE MINE LISTED EVERYWHERE), making jokes or fun of my name (newsflash: yin yang jokes are actually racist when i'm asian.) i've developed very low tolerance levels for all of this.

♥ What's the WORST thing that has happened to you rp wise? uhhh that one time a duplicate (who was an adult) stalked and tried to turn an entire community against me when i was sixteen because I wouldn't give in to covert measures at discouraging me from writing this specific character. and then ANOTHER duplicate of that same character tried to do the same thing but she went the extra mile to have her lackeys send anon hate while gaslighting me about it when i confronted her directly.

♦ What was a mildly annoying thing that has happened to you rp wise? Um. There's a conversation to be had about RPers preferences for cis male characters.

♢ Has anyone ever tried to steal your blog? Your headcanons? Icons? All that jazz YES. OH MY GOD. While I block all duplicates on a principle so I can avoid seeing it again, I've had it happened to me way back on the characters I played when I was 16 and it's like. WHY. YOU'RE EVEN FOLLOWING ME AND THE SAME PEOPLE I WRITE WITH TO DO THAT. Don't get me started on when I rped a character that was a popular fc among tumblr rps at the time because I'd find my icons on their blogs too and once I got so fed up that I just released all icons I used (shy of 900 total).

♚ How many people don't like you? I'm sure I've got plenty, but for my peace of mind, I'm not trying to think about it.

⚜ How many people do you not like? For everyone's peace of mind, I'd like to leave this one unanswered.

✮ Have you managed to stay away from drama? Somewhat. But because this place is that place, it inevitably crops up.

☄ Have you ever been in the middle of drama? Yes, but like, when I was sixteen.

☯ Have you ever tried to bring peace to a situation? Yes, and I got ganged up on for it.

☼ How long do you stay mad? Depends on the severity of the situation; I tend to hold grudges when I don't get apologies, though. ( And like, real ones. Not 'Oh, I didn't mean to do so and so. I'm sorry.' )

☀ What's your rp pet peeve? Triple space, purple prose, heavy font formatting, 5x5px icons. I ... don't have the best eyes, and a lot of people don't either. It gives me a message that people don't give a fuck about accessibility. I also hate when people use a lot of passive voice.

☁ Have you ever forgiven a partner when you shouldn't have? No, because the North remembers.

☂ Have you ever been forgiven when you knew you shouldn't have been? No, because I tend to not reconnect with people I've cut off and vice versa.

☢ What fads/trends are you so over? See my rp pet peeve. Can we PLEASE try to be accessible.

☣ Have you ever rp'd with someone you knew for a fact was abusive but tried to give them a chance/to make up your own opinion on the roleplayer? Did they change or did you understand what people were talking about? I'll do you one better: I dated one and rped with one and it was good for a year until I realized how much the callouts ended up actually being true of her behavior. (smiles) Needless to say....... sigh.

♨ Have you ever made a public call out post? No.

❀ What has made you completely lose your chill? Being gaslit when I tried to approach someone about something their friends were doing towards me. I don't expect you to be people's keepers but if your people are coming after me anonymously in your name, you can't just sit back and do nothing and tell me I'm overreacting like be serious.

✿ What do you think about public call out posts? They're good when they're necessary. They're dumb when the 'evidence' are the allegations themselves and not actual proof or just clear signs of stalking.

✂ A fandom that you feel isn't open and accepting? Idk. Most canons; they don't really care much for crossover interactions as much as they say they do, and they certainly don't care much for OCs.Some canon spaces don't even allow OCs.

✉ A fandom that you feel is open and accepting? OC 'fandom'(?) have my hearts. Other OC writers go above and beyond to help get some interactions going, and they're some of the strongest writers on the planet to keep going, despite how much this plaform has stacked against them.

✦ Thoughts on duplicates following you? Don't.

✧ Do you agree with reblog karma or is it forced interaction? Considering I don't want people reblogging memes and stuff from me, I don't practice it. However, if I see a meme on my feed, I'll do my best to send something in to engage.

❥ Has someone ever ruined an FC or character for you? [Pained smile.]

❦ Has someone been jealous of you? Yes.

❧ Have you ever been jealous of anyone? No.

✖ How has Tumblr RP changed since you started? In ways, it's gotten better. While it's not by a huge margin, the fact that people are generally more enthusiastic at having marginalized characters or characters with these traits added to certain canon characters in their spaces says a lot about where we are in society. I also love that we're more quick to call out weird people and whitewashing. Where I was in Tumblr RP back in 2012-16, you couldn't really imagine much of this since it was kept under horny wraps. People also won't put straight up korn with the p on your feed without their proper tags the way they did back then, so that's a major plus.

♒ Thoughts on the fandom you're currently rping in? If I'm being honest with you, it's just the people that know about Psycho-Pass. LOL.

❣ How salty are you feeling right now? Not at all.