#☆ endless nameless 마크..

[mins-fins]

ENDLESS, NAMELESS

❝ bright and clear, it's what i am, i have died.. ❞

in which. you always say that you don't write your songs about anybody, a statement you continue to repeat no matter how much people try to speculate about your dumb little song lyrics. it's a well know fan theory that the person you refer to in your songs is none other than your very own ex, the gorgeous lead guitarist of band aestas, mark lee, someone who you very much dislike talking about. are you over your ex? absolutely not, but you aren't going to tell anyone that. not your friends, not your fans, and definitely not the man himself.

𖥻 pairing guitarist!mark lee x drummer!male reader

𖥻 genre band au, social media au, fluff, angst, comedy, exes to not-so-friends to lovers, mutual pining, sort of slow burn, stubborn lovestruck fool x even more stubborn lovestruck fool

𖥻 warnings swearing, kys/kms jokes, explicit language, sexual jokes, an implication of sexual content, mentions of violence, smoking & alcohol consumption, stubborn bitches deny their feelings for about 20 chapters

𖥻 status complete!!

❝ silence, here i am, here i am, silent.. ❞

──── ⭒ PROFILES the divorcees 𖦹 a TOTALLY zen band 𖦹 hot girl summer

──── ⭒ TABLE OF CONTENTS !

i. twitter moots no longer 💔

ii. mark's pretty drummer ex

iii. FUCK MARK LEE (projecting)

iv. lying dead on the bathroom floor

v. the xiaoyn beef (or gay love story i guess)

vi. ITS ALL OVER 💔💔

vii. shakespeare but make it gay

viii. platonically sleeping together

ix. baby can we fix it?

x. is this a drug psa?

xi. idk who that is!!

xii. yn and mark, mark and yn

xiii. johnny suh is a real one 🙏

xiv. HE WANTS YOU!!

xv. froyo works every time

xvi. so ivy coded

xvii. 1000 song lyrics later

xviii. chat we lost

xix. cissy strut

xx. $50 in the bank account

xxi. cookies for the conscious

xxii. kiss my shades

xxiii. surprise surprise

xxiv. wedding invitations

[mins-fins]

EPISODE 12 : ❛ yn and mark, mark and yn ❜

Mark doesn't know why his head immediately shot up when he heard his phone ring.

For starters, it's one in the morning, who in their right mind is calling him at one in the morning? Second, he isn't expecting a call from anyone, so when his phone does ring, he almost throws it at the wall as the irritating ringtone repeats over and over.

Mark groans and stares at the ceiling, not even turning on the light as he feels the bedside table for his phone, his still vibrating phone. He scowls in annoyance when he can't find it after the first thirty seconds of not feeling his phone, so he sits up, much to his own dismay, and picks up his phone.

He blinks at the screen, rubbing his eyes as he swears he reads the contact name wrong. It's you, you're calling him. Why the hell are you calling at one in the morning? A puzzled expression crosses his face, and he contemplates on if he should actually pick up.

But after what seems like forever (in Mark's metrics), he sighs and answers the phone. "Hello?"

"Hiiiiii Markie".

Mark immediately picks up on the way your words are slurred, but he doesn't comment on it right away, laying back down onto his comfy duvet. "Hi Yn, good morning" He responds, and you giggle, you giggle, Mark finds that hilarious.

"Morning? It's only.. wait it is morning! One am! Wow you're so smart!"

Mark snickers. "Basic knowledge, Yn".

"Uh huh" You say on the other line, a hiccup accompanying your words.

Mark furrows his eyebrows, thinking this would be the right time to bring this up. "Are you drunk?" He finally asks, and you giggle again on the other line, seemingly finding the question hilarious. You hiccup again before answering the question.

"Sort of?"

"That's not a yes or no" Mark is quick to reply, and you giggle again, a sound Mark missed more than anything. "Why'd you call me at one in the morning anyway?"

"I like the way your voice sounds".

The blatantly honest response makes Mark snicker, a snicker you silently gasp at on the other end of the line. "Is that you or the alcohol talking?" He inquires immediately, holding his phone with his shoulder as he begins picking his nails.

"I don't know.." You mutter on the other end, the sound of something shuffling slightly is sounded in Mark's ears. "Just wanted to confess that I guess".

"So you called me while I was asleep?"

"Yeah?"

"How were you so sure I'd pick up?"

You chuckle, as if that was one of the stupidest questions he could've ever asked you. "I wasn't, I was just really hoping you would answer, it'd would've been embarrassing if you didn't".

Mark pauses, collecting his words. How does he say this without sounding like a pining, desperate loser?

Well— he can't exactly avoid that.

"If I'm being honest, I was kinda hoping you would call.."

The statement is met with immediate silence, silence that punches Mark in the gut and spits on him as he falls. He almost rips off his nail with how anxious he is, but he doesn't comment on your silence. It's like that for a few minutes before you let out a small giggle of disbelief.

"Don't lie to me, Mark".

"I would never do such a thing, I'm being honest, maybe you should be too".

Mark wishes he regretted saying that, but he doesn't, he just wants you to speak your mind, he wants to hear your thoughts, he wants to hear how you feel from you. "Oh? You want me to be honest with you, Mark?"

Your tone of voice makes his stomach flip, it's not because he likes your voice, though, it is definitely not because of that. "Yeah, honesty is key, Yn".

"Honesty is key huh?" You click your tongue, a habit of yours that has made Mark dizzy since forever, you always look so good doing it, he can't even begin to imagine how you look right now. "Is telling you I missed you too honest? Or.. hm, is saying that maybe I'm not so over you honest enough for you?"

Though Mark chuckles at that response, he can't help the way his face heats up, thank god this is a phone call and he doesn't have to see you face to face (for now.. that is), he would never live it down. He can't believe you just said that, and all of this at one in the morning too? You really are full of surprises.

"No, I think I'd like to know more, actually".

"Ah, your greedy".

Mark raises an eyebrow at the words, but he doesn't confirm or deny the claim, just snickers. "What if I am? It's you after all".

"Aww, am I special?"

"Very".

You giggle again, you seem to enjoy giggling, Mark wants to make you giggle again, no, scratch that, he wants to hear you giggle again, it's so cute, you're so cute. You love the words, and Mark loves that you love the words.

You two always do this, huh? It's always with you. Yn and Mark, Mark and Yn..

Why did you guys even breakup?

Once the question crosses Mark's mind, he wants to punch himself in the face, and he's glad you're not there to see the way his face fall and his hands clench into fists. He feels like such an idiot, how is he still asking himself questions like this?

He knows why, he knows exactly why, you both know exactly why.

"It's late, Yn, you should sleep, and stop drinking".

"Do you really care that much for me?" You ask, your tone teasing, tormenting, another punch to Mark's already weakened gut.

"Yes, I do, now go to sleep Yn".

"Alright then, good nigh— morning, Mark, sleep well".

When you hang up, Mark stares at his phone for what seems like hours, he's not proud of himself for staring at your contact for as long as he does.

He can't sleep well, he's up all night thinking about you.

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 2 : ❛ mark's pretty drummer ex ❜

Okay so Mark exaggerated it just a tiny bit.

He wasn't going to be that late, his issue was a wardrobe issue, not an issue pertaining to you. He's often used to the groups teasings (mainly Donghyuck's, he just loves talking about you, sometimes Mark thinks he likes you more than he does— not that he likes you or anything, it's just a stupid thought), but whenever it comes to you, it's like they amplify the tormenting words, the tormenting tone, and they reach their hands into Mark's mind to take out his most inner thoughts.

When Mark steps into the music hall, he doesn't try to make a commotion, get through the crowd of pressed together young adults to find his group, he just stays where he is. He shoves his hands into his jacket pockets, leaning against a nearby wall as he observes the stage a few feet before him, he counts how many heads he sees stood by waiting to make their way up. Four. Four?

Where the hell are you?

It's not that Mark is purposefully looking for you, he isn't! He would never! It's just weird to see a band without their leader ordering everyone around. It's more just weird to not see you around, standing in front of your bandmates, you crave the attention, the spotlight, you want to make everyone in the audience forget about other bands, even if your position has been reduced to a drummer.

Mark can't deny that you're pretty good at taking people's attention away, whenever you start doing your thing, it's difficult to not look at you. You're an attention seeker, but you’re also not hard to miss, no one could take their eyes off you even if they wanted to. He makes himself comfortable against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, he's still wondering where you are, he's beginning to think that you didn't even show up, how is Eunoia supposed to function without their drummer?

But then he spots you, he can recognize your hair from miles away (and no that is not weird), you come up out of nowhere, startling Dejun as you do. Mark doesn't hear any of your interaction, for one he's much too far from your standing point, and for two, there are many people around him murmuring, all of their voices mixing together and becoming too loud for him to try to eavesdrop.

Mark doesn't mean to stare you and Dejun down so intently, he might be mistaken for glaring, an uncertain burning look in his eyes that can only be seen as a gaze of jealousy, but he's not jealous. He knows that you and Dejun have nothing going on, not genuinely at least, but there's just a little thought in the back of his mind that continues to bring it up, they could be dating, maybe you finally moved on after realizing that he wasn't worth it—

That's all a little unreasonable though, Mark just knows, call it intuition or something, you aren't dating Dejun, it's a practically impossible prospect. Still, he can't deny that the way you and Dejun are acting is enough to make him dig his nails into his own arm, trying to contain his unsaid irritation.

But all that irritation immediately washes away the moment he hears a familiar announcing voice. "Please welcome Eunoia to the stage!" A small smile comes to his face upon seeing the group begin shuffling their way up to the stage, they are all so cute, he can say that.

Mark's eyes never stray off you, the traits of a guy whose mind isn't totaled consumed by his ex at all. He doesn't pay kind to those thoughts, focusing on the about to perform band (well more just you than the band, but he IS looking at them as well! He swears!).

You're completely unaware to his presence, and thank god, because how would Mark even begin to explain the way he's staring so intently? Like he has some goal in mind? Staring in a way that makes it seem like he wasn't the reason your whole entire relationship ended in a huge blowup.

The thoughts are barely able to fester in Mark's mind, though, because the music snaps him out of it. The song is great, not too fast but not too slow as well, Dejun's voice really compliments the instrumental, he's a good singer.

Mark thinks he would've preferred watching you sing the song, though.

The lyrics have you written all over them, Mark can just tell. He's gotten used to recognizing the little things about you, he can picture it in his head, you standing in your office, pacing back and forth as you go over different lyrics to place in this melody. The image comes easily to his mind because he's seen it many times before, the way you write is beautiful.

You, are beautiful, but Mark shuts down the idea before the thought even comes up.

It seems that as soon as the set starts, it ends, but Mark's eyes don't leave you even then, and he gives his best applause as his gaze follows your specific movements. Thank god you don't catch him, it'd be embarrassing, you would never let him live it down (and neither would any of his bandmates, Hyuck would make fun of him for years).

You're much too into your own things, a small laugh escaping your lips as you listen to a stupid joke Jaemin is saying, shoving your drumsticks into your pocket. He sighs and gets off the wall, walking off towards the rest of the band, he'll come up with a lie, he just got in a few minutes ago, yeah, that's a pretty decent lie, he'll stuck with that.

You don't see him leave, at least, he hopes.

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 3 : ❛ FUCK MARK LEE (projecting) ❜

"I liked your set".

You don't exactly expect anyone important to say those words, so when you turn around and come face to face with your friend of a friend, you blink, trying to figure out exactly what is going on. "Ah, hi Jungwoo" You greet, a small smile coming to your face at the sight of the boy. The older also smiles, a certain excitement in his eyes. "Also— thank you".

"No problem! Seriously, the song was amazing".

"Ah, you're too nice" You reply, biting into your cheek as finally finishing packing up your stuff. "You guys did well too, you have an incredible voice" Your fellow drummer gives a small laugh, clearly a little flustered by your compliment. He clears his throat, shaking his head.

"Mark really enjoyed your set, too".

You pause, Mark? Mark enjoyed it? You question his choice of words, and why he would even bring up Mark in the first place, but he doesn't catch on to your ongoing internal battle, instead continuing;

"He told me to tell you!" Jungwoo yells, but he quickly retracts his statement. "Okay he didn't tell me to tell you, but he was being so idiotic about it and everyone else in the band also enjoyed it so it basically counts!"

His rapid explanation is enough to get a chuckle out of you, his way of doing it is cute, you'll give him that. "I see, well tell them I said thank you".

"Will do!" He responds, clasping his hands together. "So.."

"So?"

"Did you write the song?" You don't mind the constant interrogations, you like that he's interested in knowing about your work. When you nod, he gasps, interest peaked.

"Really? That's amazing! How come you didn't sing it though?"

"Dejun's voice fit the part more".

That has always been your go to answer for that question, you don't exactly enjoy telling anyone that you hate singing the songs you write about your titular Canadian ex, and you don't plan on admitting that to anyone anytime soon.

"Ah, understandable" Jungwoo presses his lips together in a thin line, observing you pack. "I can see why Mark likes you so much.."

"What?"

"What?" Jungwoo blinks naively, pretending as if he said absolutely nothing. You narrow your eyes at him, trying to figure out what exactly he muttered under his breath, but he just smiles at you, giving you a small pat on the back. "Nothing! Good set Yn, hope to see you another time!"

You raise a suspicious eyebrow at the older, who just walks away, totally giggling about something. Your thoughts race, that was just a little strange of an interaction, but Jungwoo has always been like that, he has no ill intentions at all, and you know that.

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 15 : ❛ froyo works every time ❜

Mark has to be completely honest, he is insanely nervous.

Why did he give into Johnny's incessant demands to ask you to get frozen yogurt Friday? He should've kicked the giant out of his room the moment he even tried to bring up you, texting you, or talking to you face to face once more.

Does he have enough time to run away before you show up? Maybe he can make an excuse about Yuta calling him for something, the older always covers for him, but he can't just bail out on you! He's been trying to do this for months, he gets to see you today and he immediately wants to chicken out? That's low..

He grits his teeth and shoves his hand into his pockets, seeing the weird look the employee at the counter is giving him through his peripheral vision. Oh he must look so pathetic right now, waiting around outside for what seems like forever, he's almost convinced your not going to show up.

But of course, you kept your word.

"Oh god I'm sorry I'm late! Practice went on for much longer than usual and when I realized the time Dejun purposefully held me up—"

Mark immediately snickers when you begin your ramble, and you pause, blinking at him. You caress the material of your sweater, suddenly feeling your cheeks grow hot. Why's he looking at you like that? Why is he smiling like that? Why is he being Mark Lee?

You're going to kill him, literally.

"Why'd you stop?"

"I don't want to sound like I'm making an excuse, did I make you wait too long?"

Mark is baffled that you'd even think so, he knows you care a lot about your time management, he knows you well enough to know you'd never make anyone wait on purpose. "No, no! I was just.. I don't know what I was doing if I'm being honest I was sort of just standing around".

You laugh at the words, still not looking at Mark directly. "Was the guy at the counter giving you dirty looks?"

"More like pitiful looks".

You let another laugh slip at the words, and Mark's lips turn up at the sight. "I'm stalling, aren't I? You came here for froyo, let me treat you".

He doesn't have to say anything more, you pretend your cheeks don't go red at the basic words. Maybe it's simply the way he said them, or maybe because it's Mark, it's always Mark, he just has always had this affect on you.

Mark glances back at you, catching you midway through your little zoning out session, he nudges you lightly with his shoulder. "Are you alright?" He asks, voice hushed, as if indirectly saying you didn't really have to answer the question verbally.

"Hm? Yeah, yeah sorry" You shake your head, pushing Mark forward as a way to beckon him to go in. He simply gives you one last glance before following your silent demand, walking into the shop as you slowly followed behind him.

You allow for your eyes to scan the place, it's recognizable, and the nostalgia hits you much harder than you thought it would. You two, you and Mark that is, used to come here all the time back when you were dating, it was your regular spot, you loved the place's strawberry frozen yogurt, and Mark would indulge in your addiction all the time, of course making sure to judge your overuse of sprinkles.

You went there so often, in fact, that the employees behind the counter began recognizing you. Mark isn't as big a fan of froyo as you are, but he still followed you out whenever you wanted to go get frozen yogurt.

Your stomach begins to hurt, it hurts you in just the slightest.

Mark narrows his eyes at the many flavors displayed before him, humming. "You want strawberry right?"

You nod.

"Extra sprinkles?"

You simply smile, he does still know you. Mark hums again, biting his inner cheek. You then stop him from getting his wallet with your hand. "You're not actually paying, are you?" You inquire, and Mark rolls his eyes.

"Yn, I literally offered to pay".

"You don't have to, I was joking".

"Yn" He gently lowers your hand, but you can't focus on that with the way he's staring at you. Oh you're about to fall for him all over again, you want so badly to slip back into that lovesick fool you were before you broke up with Mark. "Don't argue with me, I'm paying".

You open your mouth to argue again, but Mark gives you a look, and it falls shut. Mark grins at his victory, snickering as a frown crosses your face. "That's so unfair.."

Mark hears your mutter, but he doesn't respond to it.

You really do love strawberry frozen yogurt, Mark doesn't really get it, but he finds your love for the treat cute either way (everything about you is cute, that's what Mark has decided). He can't even focus on his basic vanilla froyo, because he's too busy trying to figure out how to bring up what he so badly wants to bring up.

"How do you eat all of those sprinkles?" Mark wrinkles his nose, and you giggle around your spoon, eyeing Mark's melting frozen yogurt. "Seriously, it's too—"

"Sweet" You fill in the sentence for him, but you smile again as you scoop up another batch of sprinkles. "I know they are, Mark, but I like it like that".

"Hm".

"Yeah".

Mark stares at you, and you finally seem to catch the mental argument he's having with himself, because you leave your froyo alone, dropping your spoon. "Mark" You whisper, scratching your arm underneath your sweater.

"I'm sorry".

Mark wants to punch himself in the face, why the fuck are you apologizing? What are you apologizing for? He wants to ask why you're apologizing, but you keep going before he can open his mouth.

"I ended things because.. I felt like I was holding you back, your album was a hit and you became so busy and I didn't want to get in the way of that—"

"But you weren't" Mark doesn't care if he interrupted you, he had to get his point across. "I shouldn't have been so avoidant, you were clearly not doing your best and all I cared about was music".

"Don't give me that, none of it was your fault".

Mark's lips turn downward at your claim. "Still, I could've tried to consider your whole side of things".

You scoff, it's a playful one though. "I was being petty, I don't blame you for breaking up with me".

Mark is still frowning, and you relax your shoulders as you chuckle. "Stop frowning, stupid, I forgive you" He seems to want to resist his smile, but he can't, because his lips turn up, against his will, of course. "Your froyo is melting".

"I didn't really want it, anyway".

"Aww, you don't like frozen yogurt?" You raise an eyebrow, a teasing tone in your voice reminiscent of the tone you used back in that phone call.

"Not really, I just tolerate it because you like it" He states much too honestly for his own comfort. Mark has no idea why he said that, but he doesn't regret it, because you snicker, looking down at the floor. "What's so funny?"

"I don't know.. it's just— it's just how you say things, your words make me giggle".

"At least I still have that affect".

You giggle again, your giggles are addicting, Mark missed this, Mark missed you, he feels like he might go insane if he doesn't hold your hand or something.

But he doesn't give into such desires.

Mark has a good time out with you, he guesses Johnny was right, froyo does work every time. Thank goodness he barged into Mark's room earlier this week, thank goodness he decided to go through with this stupid frozen yogurt meetup thing.

And seeing you smile so wide just makes Mark feel giddy, he doesn't remember the last time he saw such a smile from you. He's not going to make the same mistake again, he promises.

Mark won't let you slip so easily from his fingertips this time.

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 22 : ❛ kiss my shades ❜

You feel insanely stupid.

And that feeling of stupidity is what's making your stomach swirl uncomfortably this whole time. You can barely even focus, not on the flashing lights, not on the people chattering around you, not on the irritating sounds of guitars being tuned, you're insanely anxious at the current moment.

It seems the anxiety coursing through your veins jumps off of you and spreads to your bandmates. In your peripheral vision, you can see Yangyang picking at his nails, Jaemin smoothing his shirt over with his hand to the point that it wrinkles, Ten fiddling with his guitar strings, and Dejun anxiously scratching his arm.

You feel a pit form in your stomach as you watch them, and you wrap your arms around yourself, an action that Yangyang clearly notices with the way he pokes your cheek. "Your anxiety is rubbing off on us, Yn" He mumbles, resting his head onto your back as he presses his fingers on two keys of his keyboard.

"Sorry".

You really are, the mix of performing well while also worrying about what the fuck Mark feels for you causes for an unknown bile to force itself up your throat, a terrible concoction that runs through your mind all day.

"Did Mark really not say anything?"

"He thanked me for cookies, clearly he's in love with me and wants to get married" Your sarcasm is laced with bitterness, and for once, Dejun frowns at your words, an action that gets a short chuckle out of you.

"Why are you frowning?"

"Because, that response seems stupid".

"It is a stupid response, I hope you punch him in the face".

You snicker, ducking your head as you hear Jaemin give a corresponding mumble to Ten's little statement. "Can I punch him in the face and still kiss him afterward?"

Yangyang rolls his eyes and lands a punch on your shoulder, a pinch that gets a yelp out of you. You glare at him, but your glare only stays serious for so long, because you burst into laughter and lean onto Yangyang, trying your best to stifle your giggles into his shoulder. "Ew, I want you to be sad again".

"You sound like Dejun" Jaemin places his chin onto Dejun's shoulder as he says that, the older just rolling his eyes, but not pushing him off. "Let Yn be in love".

"Yn could be in love silently".

"That silence wouldn't last for long anyway" Ten pushes through Jaemin to lean against the other side of Yangyang, that small act leading to a domino effect of all five of you leaning against each other, Yangyang grumbling under his breath about how he hates this act of affection (but he also says that with a smile on his face, so you aren't exactly sure how much he really hates it).

"Not true" You rebut, your words nothing but a small whisper as the lights dim. You only hear your bandmates' corresponding snickers, and you reach over to land a slap on Jaemin's shoulder upon hearing his loud giggle, almost knocking all five of you over.

"It is true, you'd jump up onstage and kiss Mark right now if you weren't so—"

"Everyone! Welcome Aestas to the stage!"

"Shh! It's starting" Jaemin places a silencing finger on Ten's lips, somehow able to shut him up. All four of you shut your mouths as your eyes zero on the stage, and also zero on the members.

It's nothing short of playful, the others are your friends after all. Jaemin sends a flying kiss Donghyuck's way, a gesture that gets an eye roll out of the older, but he still giggles at it anyway. Johnny and Ten do their secret wave thing, an air handshake or something, and you..

Your staring at Mark, a small suck of the teeth is offered by Yangyang, who notices your never ending staring. You ignore it though, offering Mark a small smile, one he offers back.

"Are you really staring so blatantly?"

"There are hundreds of other people in this room doing the same, leave me be".

Yangyang wants to get in one last dig, but he's cut off by a silent gasp. "Holy shit".

Your eyebrows furrow. "What?"

Jaemin hooks his chin over onto Ten's shoulder, and a wide smile comes to his face, white teeth on full display. "Mark is singing!"

His shout is low, but his excitement is loud, he's trying so hard to not begin jumping up and down in the spot he's standing. You now don't want to turn your head around and look at the stage, afraid of your legs not being able to hold you up if you did.

Oh. Mark is singing, if it weren't for Yangyang's support on your body, you would've lost all self control and fallen to the floor.

As you watch him step up to the microphone, smiles towards the crowd, Donghyuck taking his place as today's guitarist. You aren't going to survive, you're sure of it, especially not with the way Mark is staring at you.

As the song begins playing, you slowly settle into the rhythm of the instrumental, arms crossed over your chest as you try to look anywhere but directly at Mark.

But you can't look anywhere else, because Mark begins singing, and your eyes drift over to him against your will, your fingers lightly caressing Yangyang's wrist as you watch intently.

The sun shines out of our behinds

No, it's not like any other love

This one is different because it's us

Oh curse you Mark Lee, curse you and your beautiful smile and your beautiful voice and your fucking—

But you can't curse Mark in your head for long, because your lips involuntarily turn up. It's so stupid, it's idiotic even. Mark is so stupid, you hate him, you hate him so much, you're going to jump on that stage and punch him in the face, then pull him into a kiss to remind him of how stupid he is.

We can go wherever we please

And everything depends upon

How near you stand to me

If you start giggling, that is nobody else's business, maybe Yangyang gives you that usual judgmental side glare, but you're much too focused on the lyrics to care.

The lyrics are so him. You can picture it now, Mark with a pen to his lips as he thinks of how and what to write. You recall the first song he wrote about you, one he had hidden from you until the day of his performance (he didn't sing that one, though, an action that made you frown slightly).

And as the backing vocals Jungwoo sings echo in your head, your contemplating on if you should punch or kiss Mark when you catch him backstage.

Jaemin and Yangyang's giggles sound in your ears, a shine in Ten's eyes as he watches them have fun. Dejun is staring at cuticles, clearly trying to keep himself busy without getting into the little quarrel Jaemin and Yangyang have found themself in. He can't stay to himself for long, though, because Ten makes some abrupt comment, and suddenly he's getting super defensive over something.

You have to admit, they're adorable. Dejun's cheeks dusted red, Jaemin and Yangyang's snickers, Ten's stupid exaggerated pout as Dejun pushes him away.

But while you're bandmates are adorable (and also demons in disguise), you're mind is stuck on the pretty guy who sang about you. Your bandmates chatter doesn't quiet down, and neither does the chatter of everyone else in this room. Still, you're focused on your main mission, finding Mark.

You scan the area for Mark, a small frown tugging on your lips as you catch no sight of him. Your bandmates are much too engrossed in their conversation about the state of Yangyang's hair, so you huff and head towards the hallway, offering nothing but a small mutter to your bandmates as an explanation.

As soon as you turn the corner, you spot the man himself, brushing a hand through his hair as he whistles the tune to 'Hand in Glove'. You blink, frozen in your spot for a moment, but you snap out of your little daze, quickly making your way towards him.

Mark jumps back when he looks up and catches sight of you, his sudden startled eyes make you chuckle. "Holy shit dude you scared me".

You merely glance to the side, fiddling with your bracelet. "Hello to you too, Mark".

For some reason, Mark's cheeks flare up, and he clears his throat, but he stays silent, staring down at the floor. "Listen, about the song—"

"I'm sorry" He blurts, looking everywhere but directly at you. "For leaving you without a response, and just taking your cookies like that, they were great by the way I was just kinda surprised and then I realized I was stupid for standing there like some sort of statue and letting you walk away—"

And Mark continues on with his ramble, tucking his hair behind his ear and occasionally stumbling over his words as he tries to coherently put a sentence together, of course still avoiding eye contact with you.

You snicker. "Mark, get to the point".

Though the words should be harsh, your tone is laced with fondness, and Mark blinks with red cheeks as he again stumbles through his response.

"I'm in love with you" He says. "I hate that I left you with nothing but silence as a reply, I care about how you feel, and I should've kissed you the moment you showed up at my doorstep at one in the morning with chocolate chip cookies but I didn't and that was idiotic of me".

"You could kiss me now".

"What?"

"What?"

Your shoulders rise and then fall, as if you rethought your shrug. You'd chuckle at Mark's red face if yours wasn't the same shade, but you can't stifle your giggle for long. Mark laughs, a short, harmonious sound that his eyes forming into crescents when it starts. "You're so abrupt".

"Does that mean you don't want to kiss me?" Your eyebrow raise makes Mark's legs feel weak, but he simply laughs again, licking his lips.

"Well I never said that" Mark grits his teeth, grabbing your hands and lurching you closer with nothing but a small tug. "Don't put words in my mouth, now".

You tilt your head, humming. "Sorry, I was just going off what it looked like".

Mark clicks his tongue. "You talk too much".

"What are you gonna do about it? Shut me up? I'd like to see you tr—"

And Mark does, he grabs your shirt collar and presses his lips against yours. It's desperate, but it's also effective, because you shut your mouth, successfully.

The trick always works, and you feel Mark's lips turn up into a smile. Oh you're still the same.

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 18 : ❛ chat we lost ❜

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 19 : ❛ cissy strut ❜

"Can you stop sulking? You're about to make me begin sulking".

The familiar introduction of Cissy Strut by The Meters begins to play, you merely hum at your bandmates' words, tapping your drumsticks against your drums. You feel Ten's gaze burning holes into your head, and you suck your teeth as you finally turn back to look at him.

"I'm not.. sulking" You try your best to sound convincing, but you don't, because Yangyang's distant snort is enough indication to you that you don't sound as truthful as you want to.

"Uh huh, sure".

You want to glare at Dejun, but you're much too focused on following the beat of the song. You try not to think of Mark, good lord he's already in your head. Are you an idiot? You feel like one. You really managed to destroy everything you had with Mark after just making up with him.

Maybe you should've never made up, it hasn't even gone well anyway..

You let out a groan of frustration realizing your offbeat, covering your face with your hands as you allow for the silence of the room to consume you. "Yn, just take a break".

You don't look at Dejun as the words escape his lips, but you shake your head anyway. "I'm fine".

"Don't argue with me—"

"Ow! Did you just hit me!? Ten! Dejun hit me!"

"Stop pouting and just text Mark" Dejun shakes your shoulder he just landed a punch on, and you roll your eyes at the statement, even with how true it is. "You're never gonna fix anything if you pout the whole time".

"Let me pout! I wanna be sad for a good five hours of my life, at least".

"Can you be sad after practice?" Yangyang shouts from across the room, and you sink in your seat with your arms crossed over your chest.

"Great job, Yang, he's pouting again".

"I am not pouting!"

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 9 : ❛ baby can we fix it? ❜

"Yn I swear to fucking god if you ask about Mark one more time I'm literally going to strangle you".

"I was just going to ask about how long until we go up.."

"Are you lying?"

"..Yeah".

You let out a small sigh of defeat at the looks Ten and Yangyang send you, and the keyboardist simply pokes your shoulder, much to your own dismay. You perform in ten minutes and you haven't seen Mark anywhere, not that you were looking for him or anything, you were just scouring the area and caught no sight of him, which sort of worried you but it's not like that!

You're totally over your ex! You're not exhibiting any not-over-him-behavior at all!

"Don't look at me like that!" Your quick to shout, earning a snicker from the eldest as Yangyang just glances between the two of you. You cross your arms, stubborn. "I just.. I don't know I'm nervous I guess because he's going to be watching the set".

"He watched last time" Dejun startles you by coming out of nowhere. You give him just the slightest scowl, one he responds to with that smug grin of his.

"Well I didn't see him last time and besides, I'm also kinda nervous cause I'm singing this time and the last time I sang was a long time ago suspiciously right before we broke up and now—"

"Yn" Dejun cuts in, annoyed, he rolls his eyes. "You're going to be fine, seriously, people have been begging for your singing return since like.. forever".

"And Mark loves when you sing!" Jaemin lightly shoves your shoulder, then reaches down for your hand, lacing your fingers together. "The song is also amazing, you'll be fine! Now come dance with me!"

Before you can respond to that, Jaemin tightens his grip around your hand and pulls you into one of his backstage dance processes. "Just don't pull my arm off please" You earn a giggle from the Na as he spins you around, giving you something that's a mix of a nod and shake of the head.

"We go up in five!"

"I hear you!" You yell back, exchanging a small smile with Ten as you continue to entertain yourself by dancing with Jaemin.

Mark can't exactly focus on the chatter of his bandmates as he's distracted.

Focused looking for you, that is. You sang today, literally, you sang, Mark feels like the people above heard his prayers or something. It was hard to not look away from you, even though he was supposed to be tuning his guitar, he couldn't help but focus on you.

Even throughout his performance he couldn't help but think about you. Did you watch it? What did you think of it? Did you even care about Mark? He feels he has to talk to you or he's gonna die or something.

Mark spends a few minutes scanning the area looking for you, but he has no luck, resulting in a frown appearing on his face. He lets out a silent sigh of disappointment, one that his bandmates hear, because Donghyuck's head shoots up.

"What are you upset about?"

Mark lets a small laugh leave his lips. "Nothing, I'm just.." He pauses in between his words. Now he could lie and just say that the adrenaline rush has worn off and he's feeling tired, but he may as well say it like it is this point. "Looking for Yn, I don't see him anywhere".

Donghyuck allows for his eyes to widen comically at the words, Mark actually admitted it for once? He must be dreaming. "Your serious?"

Mark is way too busy trying to find you to register Donghyuck's tone of disbelief. "Yeah.. I can't find him".

Donghyuck laughs at his sheer dedication, but Mark isn't thinking about that right now, he's thinking about you. He pauses as he hears you say something, easily able to pinpoint your voice even with the loud music playing.

"Oh my god am I stepping on your shoes?" Mark hears you giggle, apparently amused by what the person you're talking to said. "Sorry! Seriously Yang! No no no don't step on my shoes—"

Mark finally spots you after forever, letting out small shrieks as you try to stop Yangyang from stepping on your shoes. Your fingers are intertwined, a fact that would Mark jealous if he didn't pick up on how happy you look, the smile on your face so bright it's practically lighting up the room.

Your over the moon as you continue your stupid pair dance with Yangyang, trying to avoid his feet as giggles escape your lips. Oh Mark loves your laugh, it reminds him of other times, the times when the two of you used to dance in your living room, Mark almost wants to die right then and there, he probably looks so pathetic, watching his ex boyfriend dance with his friend like some sort of hawk.

His thought process is interrupted when Yangyang suddenly seems to spot him, before Mark is even deciding on if he wants to go over to you or not. He looks to you, then back to Mark, who takes a step forward. Yangyang spins you around again, but instead of pulling you back closer to him this time, he lets go of you, giving you a slight push, making you stumble and land right in front of Mark.

You almost bump into him, but you balance yourself, instead ending up standing right in front of Mark, all Yangyang does is shoot Mark a small smile, immediately turning around and beginning to converse with Ten, allowing for the situation to unravel itself.

"Hi".

"Hi" Mark is quick to greet back, he pushes down any of his nerves because it's just you, it's just you. "Miss me?"

You want to collapse when he asks that, oh he gets to you without even realizing it. Curse you Mark Lee, you muse in your head, but you chuckle lightly. "Not really" You lie, resisting the urge to laugh at the expression you get from him.

Mark pouts. "Not even a little bit?"

You roll your eyes at the display, but you don't want the conversation to stop. "Maybe just.. the tiniest bit" You raise your index finger and thumb, pressing them a ways distance from another.

That's a lie.

But if Mark notices it (which he does) he doesn't say anything, shoving his hands into his sweater pockets as he studies you. "You sang" He's quick to remark, a remark that gets a laugh out of you.

"Yeah it was a last minute decision I just—" You pause, trying to correctly collect your words. "I don't know, I thought I'd give Dejun a break".

"Ah" Mark hums, and you want to punch him for being so attractive. "It was a good decision, I like your singing voice".

You raise an eyebrow. "Like?"

Mark instantly gets what you mean by that, because you seem to always know what he's thinking without him having to say anything. "I love your singing voice".

You feign a gasp of surprise and place a hand on your chest. "Aww, really?"

"I'll take it back right now".

"You wouldn't".

"Wanna bet?"

You narrow your eyes at the inquiry, though you'd love to take it as a challenge, you fear you'll collapse from the way Mark is staring at you. "I'd win, easily".

"You're so confident".

You hum in agreement, a prideful smile taking its place on your face as you watch Mark snicker and look the other way. "So what are we?"

"Hm?"

"Are we friends?"

Do you want to be? You bite your tongue, not asking that, you're afraid it's a little too desperate to ask in front of Mark. Your eyes dart around every corner of the room before you finally look back at Mark, a small chuckle leaving your lips. "No, were sworn enemies, Mark".

"Ouch, that hurts Yn" Mark places a hand on his chest as if he'd just been shot there, and you can only roll your ghosts.

"Oh poor you, want me to kiss your wound better?" You honestly have no idea where that came from, you genuinely just wanted to respond with some snappy words, but that is what decided to escape your lips instead.

"I'd love for you to".

You scoff lightly, he's unbelievable. "In your dreams maybe, have a good night Mark".

Mark laughs again, smiling as he sees you try to resist the urge to smile yourself. "Have a good night, Yn".

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[mins-fins]

INTRODUCING the divorcees ⤷ aka: our main leads.

𖥻 ln yn. 💿 ( @ .noiays / @ NOTineunoia ) — the leader and drummer of eunoia. somehow not a singer despite writing all of their songs. his songs AREN'T about mark please believe him. likes to make himself sad by rewatching nana every few months. theme song: xerces by deftones.

𖥻 mark lee. 🎸 ( @ onyour_mark. / @ markusisnthere ) — co leader and lead guitarist of aestas. affectionately nicknamed "johnny's headache". very much still in love with his pretty drummer ex. suffering from a serious case of writers block (which may or may not be yn's fault). theme song: white ferrari by frank ocean.

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 24 : ❛ wedding invitations ❜

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 21 : ❛ cookies for the conscious ❜

When you said that you would show up on Mark's doorstep to give him chocolate chip cookies, he thought you were joking.

That is ridiculous! Why the hell would you show up at his doorstep to give him cookies? Even with how unpredictable you are, Mark assumed you wouldn't actually follow your own words, but low and behold, there's a knock at his door a good fifteen minutes after you like his text.

He cannot be serious, he did not actually show up to my doorstep to give me cookies—

Mark stands corrected, though, because of course he does.

When he opens his door, you're there, your standing there in all of your cookie munching glory. He can't help but chuckle at the display, a chuckle that makes you snap your head up, still chewing on the chocolate chip cookie as you lock eyes with Mark, whose eyes immediately dart everywhere else.

"Hello".

"You actually came" Mark breathes, and you snicker, nodding. Your shoulders raise, as if you were about to shrug, but they drop immediately, an action that Mark notices and narrows his eyes at. How weird. "I thought you were kidding".

"You wanted cookies!" You exclaim, much more enthusiastic than Mark expects for you to be, still, he finds it cute.

Wait what?

You extend the plate over to him, an action that gets an eyebrow raise from him. "Your giving me everything?"

You snicker at the question, shaking your head. "The others raided the first batch already, these are for you and the others to dig into".

Mark blinks, but he doesn't say more. When he takes the plate, you smile, but Mark still has more he wants to ask of you. "Thank you" He mutters, staring down at his feet. "Yn.."

"Mark" You interrupt, and though Mark would be irritated at your interruption, the way you say his voice has his legs feeling weak, your voice is so soft, it feels like if clouds could sound. "I like you".

Mark blinks, the words taking him aback, but you continue. "I'm stupid, I know, a complete idiot for not telling you how I felt honestly and making you feel as if your feelings don't matter, they do, I of all people should know that, so I'm telling you right now, I like you, and I never really did lose feelings for you, I just thought if I denied it long enough they'd eventually go away but as you can see, they didn't".

Your immediately embarrassed as you finish, that word vomit was much less calculated than you wished it was, and your cheeks redden as you turn away, not wanting to face Mark's gaze.

Mark can't speak, he's speechless. Oh how did you do that? You might take his silence as him not returning your feelings, because of course you would think that. "Yn".

"Hm?"

"I— you, um.. thanks for the cookies?"

You blink, narrowing your eyes. You're not sure why he decided to say that, and Mark isn't sure either. Still, you snicker, smiling. "No problem, see you Friday".

Mark should grab your arm, pull you close to him and kiss you senselessly,

but he doesn't, and he hates himself for not doing so.

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 23 : ❛ surprise surprise ❜

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 13 : ❛ johnny suh is a real one 🙏 ❜

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 16 : ❛ so ivy coded ❜

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[mins-fins]

EPISODE 14 : ❛ HE WANTS YOU!! ❜

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