#☆ | αяε үσυ vσιcεℓεss ησω ? sρεαк υρ ! sρεαк υρ ! { ooc }

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{ i havent been able to access tumblr in about 300 years wassup

also i’m gonna give u an update so you can know better what’s going on and why i’m not here and when i may be back:

okay so my wifi is t e r r i b l e and atm i can hardly access the internet on my laptop. my phone seems to be okay rn but it comes and it goes and i’ve already used up all my data for this month. idk if or when the wifi is gonna start working properly again bc its been getting steadily worse for ages lmao.

but ! my dad has got a new house and in the same village there’s this college that my current school has a rly good relationship w. they take a lot of statemented kids and their facilities are rly good to deal w Problematic Children such as myself. so hopefully i’m gonna go to this school next year and move in w my dad (who always has great wifi connection)

ofc it still depends on what he and his wife say and whether i actually like this school and all that but currently i’m hoping this is gonna happen. he goes home in just under a month so hopefully i can go visit and get the good wifi but at the very least, i’ll be able to be properly back when i move ;3; }

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{ i may end up having to go on full hiatus given that this is the first time i’ve been able to access the internet on my laptop since last time i checked in but i just wanna mention something that’s been making me feel a lil bit bitter about coming back:

my portrayal of tooru is based entirely on my own headcanons. not fanon and only loosely on canon. i’m not personally super big on the conspiracy theorist/alien lover thing i mean its cute but i only go along w it bc its what people expect from me. that’s my biggest jibe abt presuming fanon tbh. along w people just telling me things about my muse that i don’t follow.

another thing is this whole thing abt tooru acting a certain way bc he’s male. like when he doesn’t understand something a female muse says “because he’s male”. actually that’s bc he’s autistic and easily misled. or that he’s extremely jealous bc he’s male. h onestly that’s bc he’s very mentally ill and he’s rly insecure about those feelings and tries to push them down unhealthily but sometimes it doesn’t work the way he intends it to. like just please don’t ascribe male stereotypes to my tooru at all cause that’s really,, not at all it,,,

expanding on the autistic thing: i might write another post about how this affects the way he interacts w other people but like there’s a lot i feel people are ignoring or misrepresenting because they just don’t understand what autism actually is or don’t really know that that’s how i’m portraying him. but yea please be mindful that my tooru does have a developmental disability that affects literally every aspect of his life }

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talontedace replied to your post: { i havent been able to access tumblr in about 300...

[ Sending you all the good vibes and support!!! I’ve missed seeing you around uwu ]

{ aaa thank you!!! i’ve missed seeing you too ^ ^ it feels kinda weird being back;; it feels like it’s been forever }

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{ sometimes i feel ridiculous abt how i talk about sleep so i kinda wanted to make a post about it?? and explain what i mean when i say i only got 10 hours lmao 

i have this thing called chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS for short and also known as ME) and mine is between mild/moderate. if i had to choose i’d lean more towards moderate. 

what is basically means is that my average and inescapable level of tired is about what i used to feel when i wanted to go to bed. it also means my perception of tiredness is super fucked? like i tend to feel the similar if i sleep for 2 hours as when i sleep for 17, and i felt the same after being awake 24 hours as i did when i just woke up. i mean, there’s differences and its hard to explain, but thats the basics of it.

so yeah i’m pretty much in a constant severe state of exhaustion. im only able to do 3 days of school, and absolutely not in a row; i cant leave the house more than 2 days in a row. i often spend literal weeks in bed, only getting up to use the bathroom and get something to eat, and even then i’ll put off getting up cause i hardly have the energy to. i go light headed if i have to spent more than a minute standing in the same place and it’s 100% correct to assume i want to go back to bed at any given point.

after i left my old school i just suddenly became anaemic, and after being on folic acid for months, it got a lil better but never went away, even though i no longer have anaemia. so its been a kinda sudden lifestyle change these past couple years

it also means i rock some major dark circles and they’re great okay. but yeah so if u see me saying i only got [far more sleep than you], i can see why its natural to prob assume im just whiny, but i can assure you im in heck anyway }

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{ also in other news corie sam and lin are the best things that have happened to me just sayin }

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{ a PSA that if u ship w me i probably wanna talk to u in depth about the challenges our muses would face while dating and how they overcome them bc that’s very important to me }

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Please tell me about one of you OCs?

let me introduce to you ! the big one. the angry mom of my ocs. precious daughter who looks like she could kill you and probably will if you provoke her. 

it’s Seva. the third oldest of my current lot of children. she’s approximately 26,000 years old, but acts like a child more than half the time. a child who also happens to be a very powerful war goddess, that is. g od i love her. she could kick me in the face and i would thank her

see, in this world, everything has a certain type of energy. sometimes there are mortals born with the energy of a god, but the limiting body of a mortal - the reason being that sometimes gods die, and when gods die they need a replacement. so when the mortals w god energy die, they can ascend. WHICH IS WHAT HAPPENED TO SEVA!! war gods have an average lifespan of about 25,000 years - they don’t live long. 

she was pretty young. about 23 years old. finished school without much to show for it bar a dozen or so counts of antisocial behaviour on her record, clinging to life by the skin of her teeth. and then?? she’s not. although death by mysterious figure with a face she can hardly bare to look at was not on her list of ways she expected to die. 

when her mortal body was shed and she was free from constraint, she got a whole lot more badass and a whole lot more of a handful. she’s always been intelligent. analysing opponents’ moves, seeing openings to attack in, using their weaknesses to her advantage. and over time, she taught herself to be strong and fast too. she’s a real force to be reckoned with. 

she can also be kinda,, intense. she’s a very full on person to be around, and you really have to be prepared to interact with her as she has a really big presence. she’s loud and blunt, and often doesn’t realise what she’s saying could be hurtful as she’s just telling the truth, or what she perceives to be the truth. she’s very stubborn and she can get aggressive quickly. 

seva can also be intense in the way that she’s really not good at handling her emotions at all. they’re rapid cycling and extreme, and can be set off by the slightest of things. she’s impulsive and doesn’t often think decisions through, which gets both herself and others in trouble. she gets angry instead of upset and takes it out on other people before she catches herself and realises what she’s doing. 

the other major gods take care of her though. kavi is like a mother to her. uka finds her infuriating but would defend her anyway. ishamil is like cool vodka aunt. and na’ek mostly stays out of her way but would support her from the sidelines. 

i just love her. i’ve tried rping her once before, but it’s super hard in a setting like this bc in tumblr rp i always try and bend my character a little to make the thread easier, but she wouldn’t put up w that shit and would demand to get her way all the time and she’s just a hassle. but i still love her

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{ i have some? good news?? its hard to explain in full cause its a very complicated and very fucked up situation but,, i’ve been searching for a way out of higher education for a while and.. i haven’t found anything and it felt really hopeless. it’s been a major cause of stress. but today i found out that i’m allowed a letter - and that letter would be for the council to say i’m unfit for higher education for medical reasons and,, i’ve just kinda been crying on and off cause i’m allowed to live? they’re letting me live?? i have this amazing habit of only just surviving in dead end situations, but surviving nonetheless, and it hasn’t failed me this time. }

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{ happy 4:30am i’m on a sugar high and everything is !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! }

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ROLEPLAYING HISTORY

The rules are simple! Post ten characters you’d like to role play as, have role played as, and might bring back. Then tag ten people to do the same (if you can’t think of ten characters, just write down however many you can and tag the same amount of people). Aside from that, please repost instead of reblogging!

CURRENTLY PLAYING:

Oikawa Tooru [HQ!!] (this bloggo)

Futakuchi Kenji [HQ!!] (@ferrudare)

WANT TO/WILL BE PLAYING:

I’m lowkey tempted with Yamaguchi Tadashi [HQ!!]

I’ve always wanted some sort of Monster High muse but from what I’ve seen the fandom isn’t very active and not somewhere I’d wanna be

Honestly who can tell at this point I’ll probably fall in love with another HQ!! character it could be literally any of them

HAVE PLAYED:

Ratchet and Clank OC

Talwyn Apogee [Ratchet and Clank]

Another Ratchet and Clank OC

Shiromori [Mystery Skulls Animated]

Brax Lectrus [Ratchet and Clank]

Cora Veralux [Ratchet and Clank]

Orvus [Ratchet and Clank]

can u spot a theme here at all

WILL/WOULD PLAY AGAIN:

thinking of bringing back my later R&C muses cause they still have their blogs (@braxtothemax @veraluxx and @zcni) and last time i tried to pick them back up, the fandom was dead but it seems to be a lil more active atm

TAGGED BY: nobody but i saw multiple people doing it and just wanted it lmao TAGGING: @aobaace @kuroo-testsubro @sukishima @sclcva @purrinkitten @septembersxng and whoever else - consider urself tagged 

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{ had a couple ideas of things i wanted to do today so i’m gonna get a couple drafts done then work on that maybe }

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{ i just wanna say ! i’m really sorry that sometimes i can go days without responding to a lot (or at all). i’m usually Around but since most of my threads are para threads, it can be just too much most days. if you wanna do one liners or very short things, i’m usually up for those!! }

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{ i’m exhausted in every way except sleepy tired!!!!!! i hope everybody else’s day is going better!!! }

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{ sometimes ppl badmouth Tooru and i feel sick to my stomach bc, yeah, he’s not a total pure sweetheart like they stereotype the other characters to be, but he’s got so many complicated issues w other people and he is trying his b e s t }

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{ i’ve gotten through abt 25 drafts today and for a person like me that is A Lot wow }

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{ throwback to that time as a kid where i used to think “night people” were a separate race of human i never saw who lived at night instead of day, and this past week my waking hours have been 5pm-7am }