#☆ you can never know the places that i go. ( & ó��r )

[bouwrites]

Fire Emblem: Nationality Adjectives

Okay, okay, so, I really should have done this before getting 50 chapters into a massive 3H fic, but instead I just did what felt right and struggled around ever using an adjective for Brigid people/things because, uh... I couldn’t figure it out. Hence doing the work now.

Anyway, quick preamble for clarity’s sake, nationality adjectives are just the adjectives used to refer to something or someone from a certain place. Id est, French is to France, Japanese is to Japan, or even more broadly, European is to Europe.

For use in fanfic, I’m attempting, mostly by looking at official real-world nationality adjectives (in my language, ofc) to figure out the correct* form the adjective (and noun!) would take for regions within the world of Fire Emblem: Three Houses.

*By correct, I mean the options that don’t sound horrible.

Please add your two cents, if you have any. Please. I’m actually begging. Anyway, under the read more because idk how long this is going to get.

Let’s start with the obvious. Some are canon within the game’s world, and thus whether real-world conventions apply or not doesn’t matter. So here’s the small list of Location : Adjective : Noun* in canon that I can come up with off the top of my head.

*A missing noun denotes that the noun is the same as the adjective.

Note: When I say “in canon” I mean it’s used to refer to at least one of the adjective/noun. With one exception, I don’t believe many will argue that they make sense as both, so I simply treat them as both. (Mostly because I can’t be bothered to comb through the entire game’s script picking out where what is used as nouns or adjectives.)

Abyss : Abyssian Adrestia : Adrestian Agartha : Agarthan Almyra : Almyran Dagda : Dagdan (also the name of their language) Duscur : ??? : Duscur Nabatea : Nabatean

Duscur, the only “non-standard” one, can also probably be used as the adjective, but all canon instances I managed to find in Dedue’s support logs were used as the noun. I would be happy to use Duscur as an adjective, and thus won’t explore it here, but I’m fully ready to accept arguments against it.

In a similar vein, but not quite as versatile as proper nationality adjectives, both the Holy Kingdom of Faerghus and the Leicester Alliance, to my memory, exclusively use “Kingdom” and “Alliance” in sentences where the possessive is necessary. (i.e. Fhirdiad, the Kingdom capital)

Now, let’s try to make some proper adjectives for both Faerghus and Leicester, as well as Brigid, Albinea, Morfis, Sreng, and Fódlan.

Note: If any of those locations have canon adjectives/nouns, please let me know! Also if I’m missing any locations.

(I know small-scale locations like cities/territories within each state also don’t have adjectives, but no one canonically seems to be very patriotic on that scale and identify with the broader term instead, so I’m not concerned with those. Feel free to add them if you want, though!)

The only super obvious one is Albinea : Albinean, and I’m pretty confident that no one will contest that even without diving in to real-world examples to compare what form the adjective should take.

From there, we’ll start with the most relevant and go outwards. Starting with Fódlan.

Note: I’m using this resource for the right adjectives/nouns for nationalities, so if I make a sweeping statement like “no country” or something of the like, what I’m referring to is specifically what is contained within that list.

Fódlan:

In-game, Dedue actually says, “...because I was unfamiliar with Fódlan speech.” Which surprisingly doesn’t tell us the name of Fódlan’s language, but rather says that “Fódlan” is the (or a) canon adjective.

That gives us Fódlan : Fódlan : ??? (Fódlan? In the same form as Duscur, perhaps.)

That said, I just... don’t really prefer it. So I’m looking for alternatives. My preferred form? Iceland. Iceland : Icelandic : Icelander, giving us Fódlan : Fódlandic : Fódlander. Now, Fódlan obviously doesn’t end with a “-d” but also, while many countries/regions end with “-an” none end with “-lan” and I, personally, just like the sound of Fódlander, even as the adjective. In fact, within my own in-progress fic right now, I currently have it as simply Fódlan : Fódlander, with no difference between the adj. and noun.

Looking at examples with “-an” endings to their region, we have Iran : Iranian, Japan : Japanese, or Pakistan : Pakistani to give us either Fódlanian, Fódlanese, or Fódlani. I’ve seen the latter two in fics before, but of the set prefer Fódlani myself.

And just for fun, most “-land” regions actually don’t use the “-lander” ending. Iceland is special that way, presumably because they didn’t want to call themselves Ices. Instead, it’s in the form of Poland : Polish : Pole, which, if we apply to Fódlan, would give us Fódlan : Fódlish : Fód which I would never dream of actually using, but does make me laugh.

Conclusion: This section is just my personal best options, in no particular order, laid out in a less cluttered format.

Fódlan : Fódlani Fódlan : Fódlandic : Fódlander Fódlan : Fódlander (No real-world basis, I just like it this way.)

Faerghus:

To my knowledge, the only countries that end in “-s” at all are Belarus and Honduras, so let’s just use those, and throw in Paris for fun. This will be shorter because we just don’t have much to work with, and I think the “best” form is a lot easier to agree on, anyway.

So, first option, Belarus : Belarusian which gives us Faerghus : Farghusian. Which works. There’s nothing wrong with it. But I’m not a big fan just because I prefer the next option so much more.

Interestingly, this is one I’ve seen in fanfic before, so it’s something currently in use by the community, at least to some extent. That is, Honduras : Honduran giving us Faerghus : Faerghan. Something about Faerghan just sounds right to my (American) ear, and again, I’ve seen it used in fanfic before. Honestly, it sounds so right that I’m not entirely convinced it’s not actual canon, but I also can’t recall it actually being used in canon, so... eh.

Conclusion: Just use Faerghus : Faerghan, it’s not that hard a conclusion to reach tbh. Unless you just like something else, I guess.

Leicester:

This is a problem for the simple fact that while there is an actual county in Britain called Leicestershire (and one called Gloucestershire), unless the British are a lot different from us Americans and they aren’t putting this information online, no one actually identifies anything by county.

Combined with the fact that the only countries that end in “-r” are Equador, El Salvador, and Madagascar, and I’m pretty sure any accurate comparison would need at least the “-ter” ending, this is going to be mostly just making up what feels right to me.

But for science, let’s go ahead and use those three for their conventions anyway, shall we?

Equador : Equadorian would give us Leicester : Leicesterian. Then we have El Salvador : Salvadoran to give us the slightly sillier Leicesteran. (I cannot not hear Listerine, lol.)

Alternatively, and this is a bold move, we could use Madagascar : Madagasy, which I frankly do not even know how to translate to Leicester because that form just doesn’t work with anything lacking the “-scar” ending, and I’m trying to compare them based on the “-r” alone. Still, I suppose with some finagling we can come to Leicester : Leicesy, or somewhat more sensibly Leicesty which is... surprisingly not horrible, but a zesty choice nonetheless.

On a more serious note, I’ve been using Leicester : Leicester : Leicesterman/woman because it’s just about the only thing I’ve thought of that doesn’t sound remarkably silly.

Conclusion: Use Leicester : Leicester : Leicesterman/woman.

(Or, if you want to meme the Golden Deer, Leicester : Leicesty. I am not recommending this.)

Brigid:

Ah, the reason I’m doing this work in the first place. I really should have done this before the Brigid arc in my fic but alas, here we are, doing this while I’m literally on the last chapter of it.

Anyway, since this list I have of real-world nationalities only has a single country ending in “-d” that doesn’t end in “-land” we’re going to just have to work with what we have.

The one example I have to work with? Chad. That gives us Chad : Chadian applied to Brigid is Brigid : Brigidian.

Which feels like something I’ve seen in fic before, but I can’t say with certainty. Now that I’m looking at that in the face, though, I want to posit for review the alternative Brigid : Brigidan, mostly just because that “-idi-” feels weird to me.

(Now I feel kind of silly. It’s really quite simple, isn’t it? I spent so long trying to figure this one out, positive that I’d find a better option, but... nah. Brigidan works, I think. Ironically, when I was looking through earlier chapters in my draft, I noticed that I had actually already used Brigidan in my story, despite me going so far out of my way to avoid using an adjective at all in my Brigid arc because I straight up forgot. F me, I guess.)

Conclusion: Use Brigid : Brigidan or Brigid : Brigidian, depending on your feelings about the letter I.

Sreng:

Another odd one, because there’s no good comparison, even in the vaguest sense. So, instead of doing comparisons to real places this time, I’m just going to throw a few of the common endings at it and see what sticks.

Sreng : Srengan/Srengian - Gives me fantasy name vibes, which I guess it is, but not location name vibes, and certainly not location adjective vibes, if that makes any sort of sense.

Sreng : Srengish : Sren??? - This is clearly reaching. And no, I will not even entertain Sren(g)man/woman.

Sreng : Srengi - I feel like I’ve seen this in fic before but cannot say for sure. Point being, though, it feels like something that reasonable people would say with their mouths, so it gets a full 5 stars from me.

Conclusion: Sreng : Srengi is the only viable option. Fight me.

Morfis:

Because Morfis doesn’t appear in my own fic, I have given this zero thought ahead of time. Also, I was 100% convinced - like, turned on my Switch and checked the actual game to be sure - that Morfis was spelled Morphis. Nope, it’s an f. Anyway, let’s gooo!

I guess the logical starting point would be the same place we went with Faerghus, with either Morfis : Morfisian or Morfis : Morfan but unlike Faerghus, Morfis actually already has that “I” there, so I think the alternative Morfian sounds a bit better.

Plus, Professor Byleth has already fished up half the pond’s population. We don’t need more fin.

Conclusion: Fish are friends. Morfis : Morfian

[chibimyumi]

Inspired by the Anon's recent ask: What are your thoughts on an Emerald Witch musical?

Dear Daydragon17,

I personally think that the Emerald Witch Arc is the most likely next candidate for a musical adaptation.

Last Solid Arc

First of all, that arc is quite popular and is considered the last solid arc among the Japanese fandom. The arc wherein R!Ciel is introduced and Undertaker explicitly confirmed to be the villain is of course interesting, but many agree that the story was all over the place. Starting from the boy bands, to everything that only inspired more questions than it answered… The Blue Sect Arc is so vague that people can’t even tell whether everything that happened since the boy bands belongs the axis of same arc, or whether we have been reading multiple side-arcs. (Example; the part where Meyrin and Ranmao are doing research is commonly acknowledged as a new arc in Japan, but if one were to argue it is part of the Blue Sect Arc, nobody could very well argue against.)

The Emerald Witch Arc however, is solid. We know when it starts, we know when it ends. It also introduces interesting characters like Sieglinde and Wolfram, offers a high-stake villain, and also touches upon the truest emotions of our main characters.

            Face Behind the Front

O!Ciel makes a very stupid mistake by not believing in ‘the werewolf’s curse’, so he recklessly enters the forest and falls ill. However stupid, we did get to see how incredibly broken O!Ciel actually is when he isn’t left with any spare mental capacity to put up the ‘Lord Ciel Phantomhive’ front. Similarly, we also got to explicitly see how terrible Sebas is at being human when his patience is tested too much, even now.

“Seriously Sebas… shocking a human OUT of trauma? Brilliant.”

Sebas: “It worked, did it not?”

“… touché.”

ANYWAY, in short, this is the arc wherein we see the two main characters unmasked for the first time in present timeline (i.e. not in a flashback).

Thematic Potentials

The setting of the Emerald Witch Arc could offer a very satisfying set provided that MKP (Musical Kuroshitsuji Project) has the budget for it. The artificial Medieval setting can also offer glorious opportunities for delicioussss costumes (unlike tame school uniforms), as well as provide a clear theme for the music and choreography.

Child Actors

Though it is always hard to find child actors who can bear the weight of a main cast, it must certainly be possible to find someone suitable for Sieglinde. I know TOHO has quite many very very talented girls, for example. If TOHO can find them, then surely someone else can too.

Reo is really too big now… so they’d also have to find a new actor for O!Ciel. I wonder who would be next. Reo also left some pretty big shoes to fill.

Female Characters

The Emerald Witch Arc is without doubt the arc with the most female characters who also take active parts within the story. So far in the Kuromyu, we have had a primarily male cast. With Sieglinde, the Witch and the rest of the ‘villagers’, Kuromyu would have a very stark change in cast structure. It would be very refreshing to see Kuromyu having more female characters in the spotlights. So far we’ve only had Madam Red who was actually part of the main cast. Grell and Lizzy were still more a support cast than main.

Wolfram

Wolfram is the character I am most excited about (partially due to a very biased dream). I have been dreaming of seeing Watanabe Daisuke - Furukawa’s best friend in the world - as Wolfram.

Not only is he a fierce friend and that I want him to be able to share Furukawa’s precious Kuromyu experience, but he is also a first tier actor from TOHO just like Furukawa (He no Prince though. IMPERIAL! DUB HIM ‘KNIGHT’~!)

Watanabe has a wide array of facial expressions; fierce, cute, emotional, poker… That’s Wolfram if you ask me.

Increasingly More Serious Tone

The Kuromyus have become increasingly more serious in tone.

🌹 In Lycoris that Blazes the Earth, the obvious comic reliefs were Aberline and Hanks, of course. But Grell, Lau, Undertaker, the Viscount, the Phantomhive servants and even the Double Charles were comical characters.

🎪 Then came Noah’s Ark Circus, where only the AberHanks duo were the comic reliefs. Other characters such as the Phantomhive servants and Dagger etc. had occasional comical scenes, but otherwise they were serious characters. However, I personally found AberHanks’ presence resulting in mood dissonance at times in this ultra dark story. Sometimes a very heavy event just happened, and the audience was not even allowed to time to let it sink in before AberHanks already burst with their slapstick. The pacing of this musical was incredibly fast simply because the arc is long and the musical only 2 hours. I understood that they had to rush it, but I think that a lot of time - time which they didn’t have - was wasted on unnecessary comedy. I did the sum, the unnecessary comedy in total was 30 minutes at least.

🚢The theme of Tango on the Campania was considerably less dark than Circus, but the tone felt much more serious still. There, the comical scenes were an addition rather than an integral part of the musical. To me, the balance felt better. AberHanks still got their moments, but they never hijacked the story the way they used to.

This darker and more balanced tone was very well received, and I think it conceivable that they will try to keep this up for potential future musicals.

🐺 Though developments do not need to happen linearly, I think the dark themed Emerald Witch Arc would be a befitting candidate for a next adaptation. It is an arc that deals with childhood trauma, gas-lighting, brainwash, racial genocide, child mutilation etc. If this will become the next musical, it would be wise to take itself more seriously. AberHanks are so iconic to the Kuromyu that there is no way they are going to leave them out, but it would be best if the balance could resemble Campania more than Circus.

Personal

Also, I need to see Furukawa Yuta do this. ⇊

We have seen Furukawa being demonic before, but is that enough? Don’t we want to see Yunbastian FLIPPING HIS SHYTE!? Ò▽Ó

[piracytheorist]

Swearing in Greek

I saw a similar post about French and Italian curse words, so I decided why the hell not?

I put up some of the most commonly used swears here. Of course, there are some “topical” ones, used in specific places around the country, but the following ones are used and understood throughout the country.

The á, é, í, ó, ú are used here to show where the word is accented. They’re pronounced as Italian a, e, i, o, u respectively.

All ch’s are pronounces as a heavy h.

All i’s are pronounces as “ee”

All u’s are pronounced as “oo”

All *th’s are pronounced as in “the”.

The *g’s are another story... when before an E or an I, it’s like “yellow” or “yield”, respectively. When before an A, O, or U it’s like saying Ra, Ro, Ru with a “soft-ish” French R.

Malákas (μαλάκας) = Asshole Probably the most known Greek curse. Once I met two Polish tourists who asked me what it meant.  It is used the same way asshole is used in English and is a bad word for someone to tell their boss/superior, but it is commonly used in a casual way among friends without any intention of insult. It derives from the Ancient Greek world μαλθακός which literally means meek, submissive. I’m not sure if it was meant as an insult. In modern Greek it means “the one who’s masturbating”.

*Gamóto (γαμώτο) = Fuck

*Gamó (γαμώ) = Fuck, can also be used to describe something as “fucking cool”.

(Ái/Áde) *Gamísu ([άι/άντε] γαμήσου) = (Go) Fuck yourself Ai/Ade is borrowed from the Turkish word haide, which means go.

Na pas na *gamithís (να πας να γαμηθείς) = Go fuck yourself

Pútsos (πούτσος) = Dick, though it only describes the body part. I’ve never heard it used as an insult to a person.

Kavlí (καβλί) = Dick (not so common, and literally meaning erect dick). Used as the above.

Muní (μουνί) = Cunt, as in English, can be used both to describe the body part and as an insult to a person.

Munópano (μουνόπανο) = Literally meaning “cunt’s cloth”, I guess it could mean a pad, I’m not very willing to Google that. In any case, it’s a similar insult to “cunt”.

Archí*thia (αρχίδια) = Balls (or the worse version of that word, I literally have no idea what’s worse than balls in English, but archidia is a very heavy word. Can also be used as “Fuck!/Bullshit!”)

St’ archí*thia mu (στ’ αρχίδια μου) = I don’t give a fuck (literally meaning “on my balls”, deriving from the saying “I’m writing you on my old shoes”, which means that when you don’t care about someone/something you write about them on your old shoes, because you never see them. Old shoes somehow were changed to balls, I have no idea why. It’s used by people of all genders)

Ston pútso mu (στον πούτσο μου) = I don’t give a fuck (same as above, only meaning “on my dick”)

Chéstika (χέστηκα) = I don’t give a fuck (literally meaning “I shat myself”, ironically)

Skatá (σκατά) = Shit

Na fas skatá (να φας σκατά) = Eat shit 

Chése me/mas (χέσε με/μας) = Leave me/us the fuck alone. Literally meaning “Shit on me/us”. I don’t know why that means leave me alone. It’s usually used when the person is really exhasperated or tired of something or someone. Both versions are usually used by one person meaning themselves.

(Na pas/Ái/Áde) Sto *thiáolo ([να πας/άι/άντε] στο διάολο) = Go to hell, literally meaning “(Go) To the devil”. Sometimes we use it when we’re surprised about something, in a “get outta here” kind of way. Not so heavy, a lot of children use it but still a curse.

Ti sto *thiáolo/Ti ston pútso ...? (τι στο διάολο/τι στον πούτσο ...;) = What the hell/What the fuck...? First one is less heavy, second one is very heavy.

Kar*giólis/Kar*gióla (καργιόλης/καργιόλα) = Asshole (male/female. The female one also meant bed some time ago)

*Gamiólis/*Gamióla (γαμιόλης/γαμιόλα) = Fucker (male/female)

Bástar*thos (μπάσταρδος) = Bastard

Putána (πουτάνα) = Slut

Tsúla (τσούλα) = Slut (less heavy than the above, but still inappropriate. Funnily enough, it’s how “spaceport floozies” from Treasure Planet was translated in the Greek dub, something that will always baffle me)

Bur*thélo (μπουρδέλο) = Brothel (heavy. Can also mean “mess”, as in the room is a mess, “Ta ékana boorthélo” = I made a mess, literal or figurative)

Kólos (κώλος) = Ass

Koloméri (κωλομέρι) = Asscheek

Kolotripída (κωλοτρυπίδα) = Asshole (literally)

[lonelypond]

#happynewdia

NicoMaki, Love Live, 1.8K, 1/1

Summary: It's New Year's Eve, Maki's pregnant, and Nico (of course) is on the job.

FKM @hispeedhorror 10:01 p.m. Two hours until the year #MakiNishikino aka @MrsNicoNi starts taking cutesy dumb baby pictures, instead of masterpieces. #loss #blameNicoNi #photography #crimeagainstphotography

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:02 p.m.

@hispeedhorror Hey loser, shut the fuck up

─=≡Σ((((╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

JK @likethisonporpoise 10: 02 p.m. I think Nico put on the baby weight her girl didn’t

DM @MrsNicoNi to @NicoNi 10:02 p.m. Nico don’t lose your temper. Miss you ( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡

DM @NozyItAll to @NicoNi 10:02 p.m. Eli just left to pick you up.

DM @NicoNi to @NozyItAll 10:03 p.m. Nico’s about to hit the stage. It’s still a surprise for Maki, right?

DM @NozyItAll to @NicoNi 10:04 p.m. The cards say to expect a lot of surprises tonight.

DM @NicoNi to @NozyItAll 10:04 p.m. （ꐦ𝅒_𝅒）

Brick-a-ney @ducttape4life 10:04 p.m. Nico Ni is backstage and can’t keep her nose out of her phone. Some people have no life.

Brashton @whomowl 10:04 p.m. New Nico Ni!!!! Can’t wait, won’t wait. Anyone leak the rehearsal audio?

O.B. Ron @sandplanetfey to @whomowl @Cuteagram 10:05 p.m. Do you know?

Mother Time @Cuteagram 10:06 p.m. @whomowl @sandplanetfey No joy

Brashton @Whomowl 10:06 p.m. @cuteagram @sandplanetfey ಠ╭╮ಥ

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:06 p.m. Who’s EXCITED for Nico Ni’s new song. Let’s get trending, #NicoFans. #NewYearNico #NicosStar

Nishikino Maki @mrsniconi 10:06 p.m. #NEWYEARNICO #NICOSSTAR #NICOSTHECUTEST #allmine

DM @NicoNi to @MrsNicoNi 10:05 p.m. #Makiisthesexiest How are my girls?

DM: @MrsNicoNi to @NicoNi 10:06 p.m. Lonely. The baby’s restless.

DM: @NicoNi to @MrsNicoNi 10:08 p.m. Nico will be there soon. And then, in two weeks our baby meets the two cutest, bestest parents ever and we spend the winter hibernating (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡

SoOp McCoop @the1mrsniconi 10:08 p.m. I forgive you Nico. We can still be together. #NicoNewYear #NicosStar #NicoStan

@NicoNi has blocked @the1mrsniconi

PopStarStanZ @popstarstanz 10:08 p.m. We’re about to talk to @NicoNi about the bop she’s about to drop #NewYearNico #NicoStar #NicoFans. Have questions, use #asknicoanything

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:08 p.m. DO THIS!!!! #AskNicoAnything

PopStarStanZ @popstarstanz 10:08 We’re about to talk to @NicoNi about the bop she’s about to drop #NewYearNico #NicoStar #NicoFans.

Have questions, use #asknicoanything

Qu Teen @binowbaby 10:09 p.m. @niconi New song, new suck #tellnicothetruth

Irini X @homeyholmes 10:09 p.m. Marry me? #FreeBritney #DivorceMaki #askNicoAnything

@NicoNi has blocked @homeyholmes

Su Sumi @maskmeow 10:10 p.m. Hey, @NicoNi, do you remember me? I had a backstage pass at your Kyoto concert and you called me a “Cutie Cupid” when I told you about my plan to get my best friends together? They’re married now.

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:10 p.m. @maskmeow Congrats! You’re still a cutie ( ˘ ³˘)♥

DM @NicoNi to @Nyataproblem 10:11 p.m. How’s Maki-chan?

DM @nyataproblem to @NicoNi 10:11 p.m. Weird. I don’t like it.

DM @NicoNi to @Nyataproblem 10:11 p.m. What’s happening?!?!?!?!?!

DM @Nyataproblem to @NicoNi 10:12 p.m. She can’t get comfortable. Her back’s hurting. And she starts to tear up when she sees Tora.

DM @NicoNi to @Nyataproblem 10:12 p.m. Nico will be there as soon as I can.

Koizumi Hanayo @DreamsOfRice 10:12 p.m. When will you be releasing new merch? #asknicoanything

KillerKurves @fuckkillnomarry 10:12 p.m. Is your marriage open? #asknicoanything

RayRay @lofibaz 10:12 p.m. Who’s all time your dream duet? #askNicoanything

Kevo Bevvo @coldone4me 10:12 p.m. Your energy amazes me. Good luck with the kid. They’re pretty amazing. #asknicoanything

KillerKurves @fuckkillnomarry 10:12 p.m. Because your wife is killer hot #askNicoanything

Tia Hernandez @nicotiny 10:12 p.m. U R so CUTE….Come to Brooklyn (ó ꒳ ò✿ #askNicoanything

Chelle Tupinambás @sambasummerblonde 10:13 p.m. Samba or Tango?

Mx Mxter @jojackpropane 10:13 p.m. How do I look in these jeans, honey? #askNicoanything

Twilly Malone @knockthedoorhard 10:14 p.m. You’re putting together NicoPalooza. First three bands/singers you ask. #askNicoanything

Nozomi Tojo @NozyItAll 10:15 a.m. When can we schedule the nude photoshoot? #askNicoanything

Tia Hernandez @nicotiny 10:15 p.,m. @niconi @nozyitall are you doing another lingerie collaboration/shoot with #minamikotori? That gave me so much confidence. You looked so good.

@NicoNi has blocked@NozyItAll and @fuckkillnomarry

@NicoNi has unblocked @NozyItAll

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:16 p.m. @NozyItAll Get @sonodasensei or @Ayasesan. Perv

Minalisky @madebyminalisky 10:17 p.m. @NozyItAll @NicoNi

ÚwÚ Will DM sketches

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:17 p.m. @NozyItAll @madebyminalisky Leave Nico alone. @Ayasesan @Sonodasensei STOP THEM!

Honoka K @gingerbakernodrums 10:17 p.m. (｡ >艸<) (☛´∀｀*)☛ DM me sketches @madebyminalisky @NozyItAll @madebyminalisky Leave Nico alone. @Ayasesan @Sonodasensei STOP THEM!

DM @Ayasesan to NicoNi 10:18 p.m. Looking for a place to park

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:19 p.m. @coldone4me Thanks : ) Nico is nervous, but @MrsNicoNi has been amazing.

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:19 p.m. @lofibaz My wife ; )

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:19 p.m. @nicotiny Wear everything with confidence, that’s the real cute.

Farah Izz @awesomeenby 10:20 p.m. Does your wife have any strange pregnancy food cravings? Mine is crazy for warm toasted granola and yogurt? #askNicoanything

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:20 p.m. @awesomeenby Maki-chan was never really into sweets, but now Nico has to run out for hazelnut and chocolate combinations constantly

Honoka K @gingerbakernodrums 10:21 p.m. @NicoNi @awesomeenby Those Nutella buns are huge; leaving on the menu until after you and Maki have your second kid. #kaching

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:22 p.m. @gingerbakernodrums hey, let’s get this one here and healthy first.

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:23 p.m. @gingerbakernodrums Did you drop off some for breakfast?

Honoka K @gingerbakernodrums 10:23 p.m. @NicoNi I got you ; )

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:25 p.m. Remember #NicoFans #NewSongNewYear #NicoStars #NewYearNico

DM @mrsNicoNi to @NicoNi @Gingerbakernodrums 10:25 p.m. Need another breakfast plan (^_^;) They were so good, Honoka.

DM: @NicoNi to @MrsNicoNi 10:26 p.m. Nico will make Nutty French Toast ( ^-^)_旦

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:28 p.m. @knockthedoorhard First three for NicoPalooza: @ARise, @The Dollyrots, @P!nk (and get some parenting tips too from those last two)

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:29 p.m. @sambasummerblonde BOTH : ) Nico loves music made for DANCE!

Gropey McTroll @jackhandz 10:30 p.m. @NicoNi @awesomeenby do your wives have any strange sex cravings?

@NicoNi has blocked @jackhandz

Brick-a-ney @ducttape4life 10:35 p.m. Nico just flipped off her phone in three languages, fixed her mascara, signed 20 autographs, and ran through her choreography while I took a piss. #impressed

DM @ayasesan to @Niconi 10:35 p.m Still searching for parking.

DM: @sonodasensei to @madebyminalisky 10:35 p.m. No. Do not @ me

Sun Mickie @waterwalkerette 10:35 p.m. What's your New Year Resolution? #askNicoAnything

Rin Hoshizora @nyataproblem 10:40 p.m. MAKI’S HAVING THE BABY. GET HERE NYOW!!!

Ara Yun @NicoMaki4eva 10:41 p.m. It’s happening!!!!!!!! #NicoMakiBaby

This TWIG Message has been deleted by the user

DM @nyataproblem to @NicoNi 10:42 p.m. Maki called me an idiot sorry sorry but get here Nico Tora’s bestie is coming Maki needs you

Juniper Gin @5oclockanywhen 10:43 p.m. Nico Ni just went Rin-ing past me at hyper speed. What’s up? #asknicoanything

Carly Roy @songburger78 10:44 p.m. #NicoNi just sprinted past me while saying “FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK” #bingo #newringtone

DM @AyaseEli to @NozyItAll 10:46 p.m. Did Nico just run by me?

DM @NozyItAll to @AYaseSan 10:46 p.m. Go get her. Maki’s having the baby.

Juniper Gin @5oclockanywhen 10:47 p.m. Did Eli Ayase just jump out of a car to chase down #NicoNi.

Rumer Kerwall @backtoboulevardiering 10:47 p.m. @NicoNi just got tackled by some blonde wearing a killer designer coat. Does Nico speak Tagalong? She just said Punyeta!

Maddie Lin @cornerofhawkandhandsaw 10:48 p.m. Hey, you can’t just leave your car in traffic. #dumbblonde #looksfamiliar

Maddie Lin @cornerofhawkandhandsaw 10:50 p.m. Is this a kidnapping? #dumbblonde just tossed a child in the backseat. Can’t see the license.

DM @NozyItAll to @Nyataproblem 10:51 p.m. Eli’s got Nico.

DM @Nyataproblem to @NozyItAll 10:52 p.m. Good. Kayo-chin’s driving us to the hospital. My mom’s watching Tora. Tell Nico to go there.

Kimmie Koto @goodbyenurse 11:03 p.m. #TheNishikino just got rushed past me. Her #LGBTQIAFutureHope pics saved my life. Hope she’s okay.

DM @MrsNicoNi to @NicoNi 11:05 p.m Where are you? Σ(ಥ_ಥ)

DM @NicoNi to @MrsNicoNi 11:07 p.m Almost there, you got this Maki-chan. Nico can talk you through it. Calling you.

DM @NicoNi to @MrsNicoNi 11:10 p.m. You didn’t have to yell at Nico like that.

DM @NicoNi to @MrsNicoNi 11:11 p.m. I love you. So much. You’re so beautiful.

DM @Nyataproblem to @NicoNi 11:12 p.m. You gotta get here Nico. Maki’s yelling at everybody. Someone said how cute you were and she fired them and we’re in LA, not her parent’s hospital.

DM @NicoNi to @Nyataproblem 11:13 p.m. Baka Eli drives like it’s 1920.

Julius Omar @creamyorangejulius 11:14 p.m. The two maniacs in the car ahead of me are screaming at each other. Get a divorce lawyer.

Brick-a-ney @ducttape4life 11:20 p.m. #NicoNi had a prerecorded package ready to go and her manager taking over on social media when she got the message about her wife. #whatapro #impressed #thesongsabanger

Elle Woodie @allfluffnofuss 11:22 p.m. #NicoNi’s new song just leaked. It’s a duet. With #TheNishikino. @sonadasensei wrote the lyrics *swoons* #NicosStar #NewYearNico

Lenore C @noravensallowed 11:25 p.m. It’s a LOVE song. For her wife. With her wife. #legend #NicoNi #NewYearNico

Ray Ray @lofibaz 11:25 p.m. Nico Nico Knew #goodone #NicoNi #legend

The Real Nico @NicoNi 10:19 p.m. @lofibaz My wife ; )

Maki Nishikino @mrsNicoNi 2:15 a.m. Mother and Child (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡ #HappyNewDia [Descriptive text: Small, beautiful woman with long black hair, a mask, and teary red eyes holding a tiny swaddled baby so gently it makes you hold your breath rather than disturb the scene. Lit by one light, against a window]

FKM @hispeedhorror 5:01 a.m. *bows low* my apologies to #TheNishikino. Congratulations to you and #NicoNi on your beautiful daughter. #masterpiece #congratulations #lookingforwardtoyournextexhibit

Maki Nishikino @mrsNicoNi 2:15 a.m. Mother and Child (๑°꒵°๑)･*♡ [Descriptive text: Small, beautiful woman with long black hair, a mask, and teary red eyes totally absorbed in the tiny swaddled baby she’s holding so gently it makes you hold your breath rather than disturb the scene. Lit by one soft light, against a window]

A/N: It's not August yet, but I wanted to do something silly and fun for Nico's birthday. Happy Birthday to the Number One Idol In The Universe. Thanks for the inspiration.

[funface2]

55 of Tim Vine’s most hilarious jokes and one-liners – iNews

Tim Vine, best-known for his his role on Not Going Out from 2006 to 2014, is a quick-witted connoisseur of comedy who often appears on best jokes lists that follow in the wake of festivals around the world.

Here are 55 of the comic master’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners:

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“I’d like to start with the chimney jokes – I’ve got a stack of them. The first one is on the house.”

“I did a gig in a fertility clinic. I got a standing ovulation.”

“I had a dream last night that I was cutting carrots with the Grim Reaper – dicing with death.”

“I rang up British Telecom and said: ‘I want to report a nuisance caller.’ He said: ‘Not you again.’”

“I saw this bloke chatting-up a cheetah and I thought: ‘He’s trying to pull a fast one.’”

“The advantages of easy origami are two-fold.”

“I rang up my local swimming baths. I said: ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said: ‘It depends where you’re calling from.’”

The ‘king of one-liners’, Tim Vine (Photo: Getty)

“I said to the gym instructor: ‘Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said: ‘How flexible are you?’ I said: ‘I can’t make Tuesdays.’”

“I’m against hunting. In fact, I’m a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox.”

“This policeman came up to me with a pencil and a piece of very thin paper. He said, ‘I want you to trace someone for me.’”

“I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, ‘that’s Abba-riginal.’”

“I’ve decided to sell my Hoover – it was just collecting dust.”

“I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me ‘Can you give me a lift?’ I said ‘Sure, you look great, the world’s your oyster, go for it.’”

“I went down the local supermarket. I said: ‘I want to make a complaint – this vinegar’s got lumps in it.’ He said: ‘Those are pickled onions.’”

“I’ll tell you what I love doing more than anything – trying to pack myself in a small suitcase. I can hardly contain myself.”

“I was at sea the other day and loads of meat floated past. It was a bit choppy.”

“You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.’ So that was nice.”

“I’m so lazy I’ve got a smoke alarm with a snooze button.”

“I’ve spent the afternoon re-arranging the furniture in Dracula’s house. I was doing a bit of Fang-Shui.”

“I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of vampires. I was charged with shoplifting on three counts.”

“Uncle Ben has died. No more Mr Rice Guy.”

“I once did a gig in a zoo. I got babooned off.”

“Eric Bristow asked me why I put superglue on one of his darts. I said ‘you just can’t let it go can you?’”

“I saw this advert in a window that said: ‘Television for sale, £1, volume stuck on full.’ I thought, ‘I can’t turn that down.’”

“I’ve just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I’ll tell you what, never again.”

“Conjunctivitis.com – that’s a site for sore eyes.”

“Do you ever get that when you’re half way through eating a horse and you think to yourself, ‘I’m not as hungry as I thought I was?’”

“Black Beauty – now there’s a dark horse.”

Tim Vine has won numerous best joke awards (Photo: Getty)

“I was reading a book – ‘The History of Glue’ – I couldn’t put it down.”

“I got home, and the phone was ringing. I picked it up, and said ‘Who’s speaking please?’ And a voice said ‘You are.’”

“Exit signs? They’re on the way out!”

“Velcro? What a rip-off!”

“I went to buy a watch, and the man in the shop said ‘Analogue?’ I said ‘No, just a watch.’”

“I was in this restaurant and I asked for something herby. They gave me a Volkswagen with no driver.”

“I went to the doctor. I said to him ‘I’m frightened of lapels.’ He said, ‘You’ve got cholera.’”

“I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can’t remember his name, it’s P-something T-something R…”

“I was having dinner with my boss and his wife said, ‘How many potatoes would you like, Tim?’. I said ‘Ooh, I’ll just have one please.’ She said ‘It’s OK, you don’t have to be polite.’ ‘Alright,’ I said, ‘I’ll just have one then, you stupid cow.’

“A friend of mine always wanted to be run over by a steam train. When it happened, he was chuffed to bits!”

“I was in the army once and the Sergeant said to me: ‘What does surrender mean?’ I said: ‘I give up!’”

“This bloke said to me: ‘I’m going to attack you with the neck of a guitar.’ I said: ‘Is that a fret?’”

“I saw Arnold Schwarzenegger eating a chocolate egg. I said: ‘I bet I know what your favourite Christian festival is.’ He said: ‘You have to love Easter, baby.’”

“I used go out with an anaesthetist – she was a local girl.”

“Crime in multi-storey car parks. That is wrong on so many different levels.”

“I went to a Pretenders concert. It was a tribute act.”

“I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said ‘I want to buy an ice-cream’. He said ‘Hundreds & thousands?’ I said ‘We’ll start with one.’ He said ‘Knickerbocker glory?’ I said ‘I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.’”

“I bought a train ticket and the driver said ‘Eurostar?’ I said ‘Well, I’ve been on telly but I’m no Dean Martin.’ Still, at least it’s comfortable on Eurostar – it’s murder on the Orient Express.”

“I went into a shop and I said, ‘Can someone sell me a kettle?’ The bloke said ‘Kenwood?’ I said, ‘Where is he?’”

“I went in to a pet shop. I said, ‘Can I buy a goldfish?’ The guy said, ‘Do you want an aquarium?’ I said, ‘I don’t care what star sign it is.’”

“You know, I’m not very good at magic – I can only do half of a trick. I’m a member of the Magic Semi-circle.”

“My next door neighbour worships exhaust pipes. He’s a catholic converter.”

“He said ‘I’m going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in a library’. I thought ‘That’s a turn-up for the books.’”

“And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking money to him. I said ‘Do you earn a living doing that?’ He said ‘Yes, this is my livelihood.’”

“I bought some Armageddon cheese today, and it said on the packet ‘Best Before End…’”

“So this bloke says to me, ‘Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?’ I thought ‘That’s all I need, a Je-hoover’s witness.’”

“So Batman came up to me & he hit me over the head with a vase & he went ‘T’PAU!’ I said ‘Don’t you mean KAPOW??’ He said ‘No, I’ve got china in my hand.’”

More jokes:

Paul Merton’s 36 best jokes and funniest one-liners from Have I Got News for You 38 of the funniest cat jokes and memes Jeremy Hardy: remembering the comedian’s funniest jokes and quotes 34 of the best Valentine’s Day jokes and funniest one-liners 30 of Michael McIntyre’s best jokes and funniest one-liners Best father of the bride jokes for a wedding speech to remember 100 best Christmas jokes and funniest festive season one-liners 100 of the funniest dirty jokes that will make you laugh and gasp Vic Reeves and Bob Mortimer’s 41 best jokes and most surreal quotes 30 of the best jokes about Theresa May 25 of Dara Ó Briain’s best jokes and funniest quotes 38 of the funniest Russell Howard jokes The 28 funniest Greg Davies jokes and quotes The best Graham Norton jokes and most scathing put-downs Here are 10 of the funniest jokes written by kids 35 of the funniest jokes by Northern comedians The 31 funniest South Park jokes and quotes 100 of the funniest ever jokes and best one-liners 100 of the best knock knock jokes (some of which are actually funny) 26 of Seann Walsh’s greatest jokes 16 of Barry Chuckle’s greatest jokes 34 of Lee Evans’ funniest jokes and quotes 30 of Romesh Ranganathan’s funniest jokes and quotes 26 of Sara Pascoe’s funniest jokes and quotes 41 of Eddie Izzard’s funniest jokes and quotes 41 of David Mitchell’s funniest jokes and quotes 21 of Rhod Gilbert’s funniest jokes and one-liners 45 of the funniest 8 out of 10 Cats jokes 41 of Stewart Francis’ most ingenious jokes and one-liners 19 of the funniest World Cup jokes from stand-up comedians 30 of Jack Whitehall’s funniest jokes 43 of the funniest Donald Trump jokes 100 pun-based jokes that will make you laugh and cringe 50 Edinburgh Fringe one-liners that deserved to win Funniest Joke 31 Best Man jokes that will work for any wedding 100 of the funniest short jokes that will have you laughing in seconds 105 of the best bad jokes 105 of the best clean jokes and one-liners 50 football jokes to make you laugh – or groan 100 of the best jokes for kids that are actually funny 25 of Peter Kay’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 26 of Stewart Lee’s most gloriously acerbic jokes 49 of Monty Python’s funniest jokes 45 of Ricky Gervais’ funniest jokes 17 of Ken Dodd’s most ingeniously funny jokes 27 of Sarah Millican’s laugh out loud jokes 50 of Jimmy Carr’s funniest jokes and one-liners 50 of Milton Jones’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Tim Vine’s most ingenious jokes and one-liners 50 of Frankie Boyle’s funniest (and darkest) jokes 25 of Charlie Brooker’s most cutting jokes and insults 25 of Lee Mack’s wittiest jokes and one-liners 75 of Billy Connolly’s best jokes, one-liners and quips 30 of the best-ever jokes about Scotland – from Scotland

And some hilarious quotes:

29 best Gavin and Stacey quotes and funniest jokes from James Corden and Ruth Jones’ comedy 38 of the funniest Ron Swanson quotes that made Parks and Recreation unmissable 31 Richard Madeley quotes, gaffes and surreal moments that prove he truly is Alan Partridge Valentine’s poems: 32 most romantic quotes from history’s greatest poets 38 of the most darkly funny League of Gentlemen quotes 41 of the funniest quotes from The Good Place about life and death 30 of Stephen Fry’s funniest jokes and quotes Burt Reynolds’ greatest quotes – remembering the actor’s wit and wisdom following his death aged 82 23 of Outnumbered’s funniest (and possibly unscripted) quotes) 35 of Blackadder’s most cunning quips and insults 29 of the most outlandishly funny Mighty Boosh quotes 20 of the most absurdly funny quotes from Nathan Barley 39 of the greatest Brass Eye and Day Today quotes 25 of the most outrageous Summer Heights High quotes 25 of Rik Mayall’s greatest quotes 25 of the funniest ever Still Game quotes 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes Red Dwarf: 30 of the funniest quotes and one-liners Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier 25 of the most ‘textbook’ Alan Partridge quotes 50 of the best lines from Peep Show 20 of The Young Ones’ most gloriously silly quotes

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Bài viết 55 of Tim Vine’s most hilarious jokes and one-liners – iNews đã xuất hiện đầu tiên vào ngày Funface.

from Funface https://funface.net/best-jokes/55-of-tim-vines-most-hilarious-jokes-and-one-liners-inews/

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Brother Samson and Sister Debbie’s Story Continues

Sister Debbie says, "I do not know I can stop"...(July 6th, 2013)

I did not leave early 4 school dis time around as I used 2 do b4. Broda Samson, my fiancé has gotten 2 his shop, Yams and eggs were fried 4 him...we were in his office talkin abt d buz' expansion having transfer part of d money in2 his co-operative account, paid some outstanding loans, & used d rest 2 buy some goods which are out of stock in d shop and which r being demanded for. I am suggesting dat he gets a two bedrooms flat n if possible a self contain room dat has all d basic facilities intact, so as 2 give us more room 2 plan 4 d future by equipping d house...Accommodation is outrageously costly in d island...and it is not as if there r companies in d Island...d island is predominantly deminated by civil servants & farmers, d rest people are essentially dependat people...yet, landlords charges are outrageous...many people would

have exit d island, but they said they have not received a go from the Lord, my people so much believe in God's leading, which i cherish too dearly, infact, it is because of such leadings that d island has not collapsed, bc d leaders of d Island are "put am for mouth and be silent" (ká fi sẹnu ká dákẹ́)...people r suffering in d island...yet our leaders travel almost on a daily basis 2 some other more developed islands, but 2 implement what they saw @ other island, making d lifes of commoners beta become a taboo for them, dey instead belabour them, adding unto their sorrows...the tax is like a heavy yoke on d people...yet d leaders receive wages that is enof 2 establish another country on a daily basis...people do hard labour but they have nothing 2 show 4 it...d spiritual aspect, is what is keeping d island... Some who inhabits d island say dey are there bc God directed dem 2 be dia, while some are inhabiting d island bc dey are transfered 2 d island by their companies...for business

2 thrive in d island, one needs special supports 4m God, else, one shall work as an elephant but would be eating like an ant...yet d govt of d island would be demanding 4 excess tax payment 4m d populace for infrastructures not provided...if not that killings are bad, killings are unscriptural, many of the island's leaders would have been shot by the populace...their heavy laden, their yokes on d populace, is stricter, harder, tighter, tougher than what the Isrealites experienced in the land of Egypt those days according to "wetin we dey" read for bible, and the stories we were told years ago while a toddler still attending the sunde schools...yet we keep enduring...they keep cajoling us...they keep telling us open lies...enforcing themselves on the populace..."ibi ori dani si la n gbe" is what many except some privileged few who r enrishing themselves at d detriement of the populace used to say...

So, i suggest, a self contain at worst so that we have more time 4 ourselves, get some privacies, and be able 2 plan better..."Mai" lord says he hopes 2 get a new place soon, he asked 4 my patience on this crucial subject so as to get a beta place bc he said experience has shown dat when one is in a hurry 2 get a place, d apartment one shall get shall not be too good, to cap it all it would be costly, dat is if one is even very fortunate not to fall into the hands of housing agents who shall dupe the person and escape into the thin air like a velocity... The island's people explore any person whom they discover is urgently in need of an accommodation... "Mai" lord says, he stil has some months left to use in d building before his house rent's due lapsed, thence he wished we use that interregnum period 2 look for a beta place, with all d necessary infrastructures intact...

We discussed some other issues, particularly about the invitation i received 4m the sister's in the fellowship i am attending on the campus, i told him some few points I have gathered on the subject I shall be talking on, he helped me modify it, adding some points to it...I know the devil is in trouble by God's grace during the programme... When it was 11:00 hours the island's time, I stood 2 my feet 2 set out...he said, "so soon?" "I dont want to enter campus lately, because i shall need 2 tidy up some things in my room", I said... "O tún ti fẹ dá aáyun silẹ bayi", he said, as he also stands up 4m where he sat down @... As his customs were, he would see me off 2 d garage, ensuring that d vehicle takes off before he return to his office and shop...

As we alighted 4m d cab, members of d transporters rushed to collect my travelling bag 4m me...An empty bus was on cue, he has barely parked @ d carport when we sauntered into d garage, I am un-arguably d 1st passenger in dis empty bus...I chose d front seat by d side of d door...while we wait 4 other passengers, we were talking.. "You should have leave earlier", "mai" lord said. "I do not wanna go early 2da", I said. "Aint u late for 2da's lectures?" He asked. "We have finished d course outline", I said. "But what of if d man comes 4 a revision?" He asked. I shrugged my shoulders...Leaning my head on his right shoulders. "I just do not like people being @ their duty posts late", he said. I laughed, and said, ""mai" lord who doesnt want me to leave him few minutes ago now becomes a gospel preacher @ d garage, "ó ga o"", i said. "Tara yin na la n sọ fun yin", he said. "Ẹyin lẹ mọ...oju imọle ko kuro lọ́tí", i will barely get 2 campus now b4 u start bombarding me with messages", I said.

"If you love let them know you love, and if do not let them know you do not, that is why i do bombard you with all sorts of love messages", he said. "Huh-hun?" I said. "Dont you know that what one leaves is what the goats snatch?" he said. "I dont understand", I said. "When I fail 2 update your browsers with my messages, soon enof u will see some1 else in da campus and leave me", he said. "Envying "dé", I said. "Not a matter of envying, ladies are fragile, they can easily be tossed away by small wind", he said. "Well, I doubt if that is applicable to me...I have told my God that who I shall be engaged to should be sufficient for me and He has granted me just that...many ladies may be so doing, but as for me, never...I pledge my allegiance to this solid love planted on Jesus", I said. "I am just kidding, but u know a second cannot pass without thinking of u, and thatz why i send messages...so dat u wont miss me 2 much", he said. "I have told God that He shd let d person i said Yes to his love proposals be the 1st and d last in life, and I am grateful to Him that He did not deny me such privilege in finding u...I am comfortable with u", I said.

"Let us stroll around d garage a bit, as the bus is getting loaded", he said...we stand up, hands in hands walking around d garage, seeing the topography of the place and other things inside the garage, as we do this we continued talking... "You know we wont be seeing for the next 3 weeks again", i said. "Why? That long?" he said. "I do not plan 2 come home soon, except if my boss calls me 2 come attend 2 any bottle-necked file", i said. "ok. I shall try 2 cope. I shal adjust. That means more messages." he said. "That is why i decide dat i shal stay behind a while today", i said. "That wont cover for other days or do u think it will?", he asked. "Even, if it wont, i think i love it dis way,...if it is not that u insisted that i progress academically b4 we wed, all my mind is that we wed and i start my MSC under your roof", I said. "I would have loved dat too, but, since, i am yet 2 be on my feet financially, datz why i said we shd use dat 2 buy more time for ourselves", he said.

I wanted 2 ginger him up so I Asked him dat "did I remember 2 tell u dat d undergraduate students sister's leader invited me 4 a talk in d fellowship next wednesday?" "Oh! Really? I presumed because of d joy dat pervade our interaction in d past couple of days make u forget", he said. "Wat a poor me",I said "Very poor u forsooth", he added. "And I would have needed your support 4 d talk",I said. "How do u mean?" he inquired. "So dat u add some spiritual experiences, some pep talks dat i may include 2 ginger up the naives, the experienced in the speech obviously directing them 2 Jesus the Saviour alone", I said. "Well, it is bc u can do it alone dat u havent intimated me", he said..."Mai" lord played d game along with me so well dat I cannot refrain mysef 4m bursting out into laughter later.. ""Ẹyin laye yin shá, ẹ ti fẹ ma dẹru ba mi gan, ko ma tilẹ si nkan to mba yin lojiji"", I said. "Pardon?", he said. "U behaved as if I havent tell u about d program @ all", I said. "Really? Did u tell me about a program u were invited to b4?" He inquired, looking serious as if he is saying d right thing.. "Yes, I did do "mai" lord sire, infact u were d one who was modifying some of d outlined points some couple of minutes ago", I said. "That must be interesting, because i did not think I have done such things dis day", he concluded...

"Who was d one who modified my points in your office a couple of minutes away?" I asked. "Maybe my spirit. Maybe one of the ghosts. Maybe u didnt even know my office, maybe someone else's office", he said. "I know "mai" lord's office, I am hand in hand with "mai" lord, strolling, receiving some fresh air in a garage", I said. "That shd be fantabulous. Did I know you? Have I ever seen someone like u?" He asked. "Nope sire. You dont know me, except that you see your love to garage to board a vehicle back to her school", I said. "Wondrous! Great! Lovely! Suigeneris!", He exclaimed. "You and all vocabularies, in a short while u will be talking about me, dat my grammar is "three" much, what of you?" I said "So, my love..." interjecting, "Yes "mai" lord sire", I said. "Have u returned my bible dictionary?" He asked. "Nope. I am going with it". I said. "Ensure that you do justice and or justices to the subject b4 u dear, so as give them a spiritually lasting impression", he said. "I shall do just that. That is why I have not returned the bible dictionary, because I know I shall yet need it in putting finishing touches to my points in school", I said.

"But, wait a while, what was it that prompted their inviting you for a message?" He asked. "I dont know oh. I have been repeatedly asking myself that question u asked me since the day I was informed, but, I am yet to come to terms with it, I have not find a satisfactory answer to d question since then...this is because, they havent seen me talk in a congregation before...but, you must be the causative agent of it now?" I said. "In what way?" He asked. "Because it is you who said I shd be fellowshipping with the undergraduates...left to me, I wanted a big church outside academic confines, where I shall meet with people, creme-de-la-creme of the society, business persons, academics, and other professionales...but u insisted I join a campus fellowship, and since I do not want to go against your suggestions, I looked for one with about 90% doctrine as our home church here and joined", I said. "But, that doesnt make them invite you for a ministration, there must be something else...maybe you have answered their question/s during one of the studies or maybe u have done something in the past that triggers their "chemo-spiritual center" which make them looking forward to a day they shall hear you out", he said.

"Hun-hun", I said "That must be the stimuli, because "isẹ kì í sẹ lasan" he said. As he was saying, I was thinking of what he said, "Chemo-Spiritual Center", I havent heard of anything close to that, why did "mai" lord prefer business to academics? He should have been relevant there, maybe he has some other reasons that he hasnt tell me since we started this courtship, with time, I shall get to that root, because look at the ease with which he marries so many professional terminologies with grammar...He continued when I didnt respond "With time, "sha", i guess u shall know why", he said. "Well what me i know is that I talk freely with them...I attend their sisters' discussions proferring advices when needed, and few of them are close to me, the sister leader and some of those who are in my department", I said. "You are just talking", he said. "They know I am in a relationship with a pastor..." Interjecting, "sorry a point of correction, a business man", he said. "Eh, a business man and a pastor", I said. "Nope. My time is not now..." "That is Jesus' statement", I interupted him. "Yes. I am Jesus son. So i can quote my father's statement" he said. "Yes. You can. But in the quoted word, after that Jesus said that, did He altogether refuse to do what He was asked to do?" I asked. "Nope love." he said. "So is it with thee...have u ever refused to do justice to some spiritual things within and without?" I asked. "Rara ma. How can I refuse my masters biddings?" He said. "So. I win. A hidden pastor like prophet Elisha, a successful business man turned a prophet", I enthused. ""Ẹ jọ". You are on fire for the forthcoming ministration. "O ga ju"" he said. ""Ẹyin na la fi jọ", as i was saying "mai" lord, they know I am in a relationship with a pastor, who ofcourse is my spiritual mentor...bc some of them are my friends on facebook and they do read your postings and comments", I said.

"Is that so?" he asked. "Yes ofcourse". I said. "That should connote that they may be inviting you as the wife of a minister of the gospel to be and secondarily as one of the senior colleagues whom they can gain one or two things from", he said. "I guess as much", I said. "You must give dem upto date messages. You must impart knowledge akademik and spiritual" he said. "God shal help me do just that and u must be praying for me and that fervently too, that the name of the Lord be glorified with many coming to the knowledge of Jesus' lordship that day. You know I cannot fast as you are oh..." I said. "When I do pray for those who are not as close as you are to me, how much more praying for my love's ministerial success? Prophet Samuel said, "far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you"... "Where can i get d word u have just quoted in d bible?" I interruptedly asked him. "I know it is in the book of first samuel, chapter 12, but d actual verse I cant say, check the last 5 verses of the book when u get 2 school...or I may send it 2 ur inbox when I get it", he replied. "Alright.", I said. "God shal do more than u expect at the program in Jesus name", he said. "Amen oh", I said.

The passengers are complete..."mai" lord paid d transport fare...having given me some money b4 we left his office...the luggages were arranged...tranporters settled themselves behind the scene of the passengers...passengers shouting that the driver make it snappy because of the heat since the doors are closed...at last our bus took off from the garage... As d bus moved on, I started thinking about him, I have grown to love him too dearly...but how did I loved him as much as this? I cannot answer that. He is obviously the kind of person I have been praying for to have as a lover, fiancé all my life, such a soft minded person...Then I remembered that I did not give him a nod when he first made his intention known...why did I do that then?... Oh, it was because I thought he would be too stringent for me, and then I was yet using ear-rings, putting on necklace and bangles occasionally @ least when I wanted to attend any special and social functions...birthdays, weddings, departmental gala nights, welcoming services etc... All these I was doing because my parents, especially my late dad said, I ought to dress gorgeously to impress and attract good suitors...

But with him, I have come to realized that putting on all these may not after all impress some guys particularly those who are deeply rooted in the word of God...so when he came calling, I think there ought to be a misnomer somewhere, i think he has place the right foot in the wrong shoe, me of all persons, me out of all ladies i think...so my response come from subcortical level...NOPE, I SAID, RECHECK YOUR DATA SIRE...THERE IS AN ERROR SOMEWHERE, I SAID... I was thinking how can we cope being together? Me dressing like a local lady? This was because my parents said it is local ladies who dressed like that... I said, I know that sometimes someday and somehow, he shall become a pastor, all my life, I have never thought of becoming a pastor's fianceé let alone thinking of being a pastor's wife... Our parents brought us up simply...we were thought to live a simple life...because in that is joy and peace so they said...they said all those popular figures dont have peace of mind...and what does anyone want in life other than peace, joy, happiness? We were not brought up to be overtly spiritual...so, I summated all these together, said to myself, a pastor in the offing to a simple person, I know he is not too sure whether I can quote three bible chapters and verses off hand...IT IS A LIE, A BLANTANT LIE, I told myself when I re-evaluate what the future perhaps holds...he erred i concluded. But I afterwards, discovered dat I started developing strongest of feelings for him, obviously stronger than all other suitors...the feelings of love...the thought of him began 2 overwhelm me, i find it hard to resist despite all attempts...then I said to my soul, "let your will be done oh Lord", and I went back to him and d journey started...Ever since this journey began, I have experienced remarkable peace and have grown to know the Lord more...as I grow, then I discovered that all these addendums, beautifying things are not necessary after all and I find myself shelving them...I now dress like those called S.U those days...maybe that is part of what those sisters see that made them invite me to minister to them...

After the teaching, the sisters raised many questions, which God assisted me to answer... A week after, two sisters whem we were course mate come to me on different occasions asking me questions about how I do it. How I get my fiancé. I shared my experience with them but I felt I need to ask my fiancé when we see so that he shared more experiences with me on this issue...if is as if I am becoming a marriage counsellor...but who am I? A simple Debbie in an open relationship with a simple brother, Samson...none of us are into marriage counselling...

 My love usually arrives home Wednesday, if she will be coming home, but as at 18:00 hours, d iSland's time, she wasnt around, den I know she probably wont come dat week, thence, our chatting dat day was centered on how her move will be durin d weekend bc I planned 2 go to her end, after-all, I have not visited her since she started her academics in d university... She said she will be most delighted to see me and would arrange 4 where I shall lodge in...We have been having discussion on d issue of my visiting her and where I may likely put up at 4 quite sometimes, and she said she will discuss with one of her male colleagues, so dat whenever I come I may stay in his room...so she said she will go and intimate d person, so dat he makes provision 4 me... Meanwhile, I have also been thinking of where 2 put up @, after-all, assuming I travelled out, I shall stay @ a place, thence, I have been thinking of an hotel...this is option B. Option C, is an aged friend of mine. This friend has just secure a new job with d govt of d Island, and he has been transfered to d city...dis person and I have been very good friend during d secondary school days, but after we finished secondary school with each person securing an admission @ different institutions, there have been separation... Despite d fact dat we tried getting ourselves 2geda, we couldnt because of different programmes we run @ our institutions, which do not harmonise d breaks...sometimes when such break would have been harmonised, local strikes by lecturers, or non academic staffs or students' unrests usually disharmonised d harmony...and because of our individual growth, academic and otherwise, we discovered d truth in our fathers saying that twenty children or youths cannot be together for twenty years...

This friend of mine, Abraham aka A.B as we commonly called him those days was contacted...i did contact him bc we have been connected on facebook and he has edited his profile showing his new status, outside chattings of facebook, we have been talking on fone on several occasions... When I contacted him, he said he usually travel to where his wife and children were every weekends bc he is yet 2 move his family to his new location...infact, according to him, it wasnt long that he secured a 3-bedroom apartment...He said "I shal do you a favour of waiting a while, staying till saturday b4 I travel to my family so dat I conveniently and personnally welcome and accommodate you, and ofcourse use that ample opportunity to know and welcome your found love...after you have waited these years...she must be quite impressive, fantastic, loving...to have won your heart or for you to have won her heart", my friend, A.B enthused. "You are not serious, however,dat shall be wondrous of you, i quite appreciate that," I said... And so, option C becomes d most preferably acceptable by all of us...Preparation to go and visit my heart, my love, my joy, my dove, my jewel, my angel starts in earnest...

At 10:00 hours the island's time on Friday, I was @ d garage...d vehicle took off an hour after, passengers did not rush as of oda days dis day...as I gathered 4m d transporters later, there is no market day in some major towns along d way dat day, assuming there is market day, traders will usualy throng d garage, those who shal either go n buy or those who shal go and sell things in d market/s situated along d route... Apart 4m dis, we heard dat dia was a riot about 3 days ago between two neighbouring towns along d route, their dispute was on d boundaries...facebook news was awash with the news...more mobile police have been drafted 2 d area 2 bring about peace and order...lives were lost n properties worth billions of d Island's currencies destroyed...Infact some affected families would find it extremely hard 2 financially make it again...This major incident, also made drivers circumvent d major route, taking an alternative path to d city.

The new route makes d journey far, tortuous...bc part of dis new route is very, very bad, with big craters...Infact, I salute d drivers, bc a single trip can damage d vehicle...we @ last arrived @ d last bustop under an overhead bridge around 14:30 hours d Island's tym. My friend said he has been in d garage around 13:30 hours, he was unaware of d devpt on d road & he has adapted himsef wit some drivers playing local mathematically oriented game called "Ayò-ọlọ́pọ́n" in d garage...Such d drivers do when dey cannot travel dat day, & some who have returned 4m a trip/s n who do not wish 2 travel again also joined dem, playing, watching, enjoying demselves under relaxed atmosphere...afta all, what shal local pp do to d non-responsive government? We cannot n shal not kill ourselves. We r not in advanced settlements wia things work perfectly...so, not to die of unwarranted n mumbo-jumbo high blood pressure, d drivers created relaxation arena for themselves within d garage...playing, laughing,

...Getting their minds off all hullaballo challenges dat d leaderships of d islands have plummeted d inhabitants of d islands...There r music arena dia, with music oozing out 4m d big loudspeakers...small bukateria is dia, selling local foods 2 people...local fast-food joints r also dia, 4 below average individuals, who may want local pies, cakes, poff-poff, bean cakes etal...One will see small beer parlor joints..."Baba-Ijebu" meaning lottery joints...and others...But in many of d Island's car-parks, one wont see toilet/s...I wonder whether they do not urinate or become pressed by nature to defeacate in any of d Islands' car-parks... So my friend has adapted himsef 2 dem, since he knows how 2 play d game...infact he was on d "field of play" of d game when our bus arrived d garage. Sister Debbie, my love got there abt 5 minutes b4 my arrival, bc she has known d development on d road n knew I wont be around till 14:30 or 14:45 hours...when our bus parked, n she spotted me, she ran to me

And jumped on my neck...people were looking...one person said, "Eh-ya, "ó pẹ́ to ti rí i gbẹhin"... "Ẹ ka bọ" she said as she genuflected... "Ẹ ku ile. Se alafia laba yin?" I asked. "Where r your loads?" she asked "Nothing much...The driver will soon offload dem 4m d boot...I only bring some fruits: pineaples, bananas, oranges, pears, Yams, palm-oil...I said 2 myself some of these u shall give ur friends, while my friend wil also take some 2 his family", I added. "That is good", she said. When d load was removed and she saw a big bag, d one dat some senators used to pack n distribute monies among themselves in d Island's central dogma, as being aired by d television, she cannot hold hersef back 4m talking, "Is dis what u called "nothing much" or somebody else's?" "Yea dearest one, and it is not anoda person's", I replied. "Ẹyin tẹ fẹran isẹ oko bayi, ọrọ yin ma n ya mi lẹnu", ...dont tell me you go to farm to get all these for us...bc I know u will buy few of them" she said. I did not reply her, "pls, have u seen my friend?" I asked her. "Nope, "mai" lord sire...I got here about 7 minutes ago, tried his number but I have not been able to get tru 2 him", she said. "He told me he has gotten to d garage, when I told him we have entered d city...although i tried his line severally b4 it cld sail tru", I said.

"That is d problem with cities, big towns, bc there shall be network interferences...let us try him again", she said. "It is him I am trying now, if dat fails, I shall ping him", I said. "How do we carry dis load now?" she asked. Fortunately 4 me, his line was tru...he did not even picked d call...he saw me where I was standing...and sends some1 to me to tell me where he was... When d guy gets to us, bowing a bit, his voice was a little bit coarse, as he said, "sire, he is over there calling you sire". We dragged d load 2 a safe side...walked 2 him and I heard, "Tayò fun mi, awỌn ti mo n reti lo mbọ yẹn". ""Gbà síbẹ̀, awọn to nreti ti de"" his opponent said. All spectators: "Ayò awọn to n reti leleyi o" Someone from d spectator, "bi a se retí-retí ti eti lu lọjọsi niyẹn", Anoda person 4m d spectator; "Ma da wọN lohun a ò ni gba ki wọn o fi eti rire wọn ba aiye wa jẹ lorilẹ ede yi". A.B: "Kilẹ wa fẹ se ti ẹ o bá gbà?" someone 4m d spectator: "Olowo n sọrọ o ní o ní "ideases" Anoda person concludes: "Mi o mọ iru "ideases" ti olòsì fẹ ni lọdọ awọn olowo. A.B's opponent: "Ayò o olowo mo ba se mi o ba olosi se leleyi o...Ẹjọwọ se olówó lawọn ta n reti o?" I have known dem, d spectators and d players when playing d game, their utterances will be centered on d recent events and happenings, in-particulate utterances to enliven their hearts...

When i got there i said, "mo ki òpè mo ki ọta o", Some1 replied: "Ope njẹ, ọta ti salọ sile baba rẹ". All bursted into laughter...dey started greeting us, "Ẹ kabọ sire, ẹ ku irin, se ọkọ ko jẹ epo?" some1 replied: "what will vehicle "chopulate" if e no "chopulate" fuel"? Anoda person 4m d crowd: "a se o tilẹ gbọ Yoruba...o si ma pe ara rẹ lọmọ Oodua." "Why do you said dat?" anoda person asked. "Se o mọ wipe bi ọkọ ba ti njepo, ko gbádùn niyẹn?...ẹyin ti ẹ ti mọ isẹ dirẹba bayi, ayafi ki Ọlọrun gba wa lọwọ yin" he replied. About three people stand up @ once, "please have your sit sire and ma". A.B: "Ọrẹ́", sit down let me squeeze bitter leaves water on dis man's eyes". A.B's opponent: "Iwọ tabi alaru rẹ? Ki i se ibiyi loni". An elder 4m d crowd: ""Se ayo to ti fẹrẹ pari yi?" Na only mouth u get dis stranger pass u for dis 12-hole-game" As expected, my friend, mr A.B won d game, 3 straight unreplied win...d enterprising match ends...dey wanted 2 challenge my friend's victory, but it is obvious dat such couldnt hold 2da bc of us-his visitors...so he pleads with dem to let him take his leave to attend 2 us his friends, with d promise dat he shal be coming once a whole to relax himsef @ d arena...As he said dis, he was excused as dey also apologized to us, visitors 4m distant place, 4 not offering us drinks...apology accepted, but obviously not verily necessary bc d match itself was "soothing", intriguing, parrticularly d side attractions, I mean d talks, d jestings by spectators,...

..their comments on d issues of global interest, d immediate environ, individual persons, characters, actions and reactions are in itself educative for those of us who want to add knowledge to knowledge, those of us who want his psychosocial interractions worked upon and improved... Sista Debbie also has an inkling into d game, but she has not seen such a spectator gathered watchin a local game...she was surprised...and d moves of A.B surprised her...b4 d match ended, she wispered 2 me of some moves she learnt during d game...my love loves game...I also love games...but I think I have sacrificed my sporting activities and moves for the gospel when I got saved...with God telling me of some assignments for me in not too distant future, thence, I had to relax, jettissioning some if not all of my sport desires, ambitions and aspirations... A.B got up, re-apologized to us, and specially welcomed my love, teasing her dat she has a good luck, bc her good luck brought him fortunes... "What good luck was dat?" Debbie asked. "Winning d sternly contested for game "na ni"", A.B replied. My love walked closely 2 my left side, bc she was in d middle, while AB was @ d extreme left, and she said, "sorry sir, with all due respect sir, "mai" lord has told me dat u cause jaw breaking laughter always" "Ẹh-hẹn? Did Sam' said dat? From your simple or at a glance assessments of me do u think he has told u d truth and nothing but d truth?" A.B asked her. Holding my left hand, "obviously sir...I begin to think dat what he said of u is even "pico-scopic" compared with what I have heard n seen u demonstrate during dis few minutes of being together with u" she said. "It is now I know why Sam' loves u extremely...u are also as funny as he does...no dull moment with him...even while we were in secondary school...he was fantastic then and even much more so now, I thought he would have dropped them, but I think and know he hasnt" A.B enthused.

"That shd mean both of u & indeed some of ur oda friends dat I ave met tru "mai" lord are funny persons", She said. I was just silent, listening 2 "actor n actress" demonstrations within d garage... "Well, wat do u expect of boys brought up locally as we were? We who hav no one @ d top, we keep ourselves alive always, hopeful of a better tomorrow, committing all 2 prayers. Although we r yet 2 get 2 wia we hope getting to, even though our movements may be slow, sluggish, characteristic of a stunted growth...but one thing is sure...we r movin, none of us is static..."àbí ọrẹ", wat do u say?" A.B talking 2 me. "'Am all ears "ọrẹ", all glory 2 God", I said. "Slow n steady win d race, so people say", Debbie said. "My wife do You know wat?" A,B talkin 2 Debbie... "Yes sir" Debbie said. "Our greatest turn around came when we were in secondary school...do u want 2 know wat brings abt d turn-around? A.B asked her. "yes sir, I wanna know" she said. "Our greatest turn around n singular life long achievement happened when we gave our lifes to Jesus Christ in our teenage years" A.B said. "Ẹh-hẹn? Was that so?" she asked.

"Certainly my wife...things though were not smooth 4 us now, but we r gr8fu 2 God dat we did not lose our faith in Jesus Christ...dis is not without our firm decision 2 follow God thru Jesus in all things", A.B enthused. "Blessed be God" she replied being enthralled by A. B's gesticulations. "Since d devil failed 2 snuff life out of us, we r "quadriply" re-ascertained...apology to u madam"... "For what?" Debbie interjected. "For d grammar used "ni"", A.B said "It is allowed in dis forum", she said. Playfully genuflecting, "Thank u my wife...so as I was saying, we r "quadriply" reascertained dat we shal all make it n dat soon too in Jesus name". Debbie and I: "Amen", we chorused. "And dat is why I have 2 thank God 4 teknologi advancements, introduction of social media dat enhances d coming 2geda of aged friends...as we hav come 2geda now, still getting hooked or connected 2 odas, we shal be able 2 assist one anoda in any area we find a person lacking" A.B said. ...The discussion continued...we get 2 wia d bag was kept...beaconed 2 a wheel-barrow pusher...he helped us pushed d load 2 anoda intra-city garage wia we chartered a taxi dat took us to his house...in his house, I separate d ones meant 4 his family while my love has d rest...He took us 2 an eatery close by his house...afta which we returned 2 his house, and left 4 my love's school...we hanged @ d common room...soon she returned 2 us with her room mate and course mate...afta which we took a stroll around d campus...she couldnt go to fellowship dat day...@ 20:00 hours d Island's tym, we depart 4 his house...ate bread with stew which he had...watched sports on paid television stations, prayed, talked and talked until sleep tooj off what was in our mouths and hands...

As early as 06:00 hours d island's tym, he left d house 4 d garage...gave me d keys 2 his house, which shal be left with my love when I am leaving...bc he usualy arrive monday mornings and will resume directly in his office... On saturde, she was with me, and then she asked some questions 4m me, a question out of it is d question one of her coursemates asked her and it was dat her course mate was approached by two friends, d two friends perhaps did not know of d 2nd's move...d lady did not know what to do? I told her dat d lady in question wil love one of d guy more dan d oda...she should get dat clear...d lady also knows what she wanted in life, which she feels n knows one of dem shal readily supply/fulfill more dan d 2nd person...d lady must also know dat, d two friends dat approached her invarably see some good attributes in her n feel d girl shdnt fall into wrong hands so to say...dat is if dey r morally upright persons... Then i told her dis short story...

"There were 2 jolly friends in a small village of Ayéariwi years ago...both of dem afta their secondary schl learnt a trade, dey learnt tailoring...one was not a success in d trade while d oda was. The person who succeeds in tailoring left Ayeariwi 4 anoda more populous town, dia God really assisted him, he built a house and bought a car... "Meanwhile d person who wasnt a success in tailoring resorted to farming in Ayeariwi...things were not too smooth 4 him...but he endured...meanwhile, dia was a lady in d village who after finishing schl also learnt hairdressing, she was also making waves in her profession, dis lady n dis farmer were brought together by providence, and dey became good friends,...d farmer loved her, but d farmer controller his urge, he did dat because he knew dat d lady @ d moment was richer than he did n dat he may not be able to control her...so d farmer brushed d love he had 4 her aside after sometimes...limiting it to friendship... During one of d festivals, d successful tailor came home with his car...heard of his friend dat he was yet in d village, visited him, re-ignited d friendship...dis successful tailor was yet single too...b4 he left Ayeariwi, dey met d lady...d tailor inquired 4m his friend what he knew abt d lady, n he told him all he knew 2 d best of his knowledge...simple, diligent, hardworking etc..."she is a wife material" d farmer concluded...d tailor said he will go 4 her...He went 2 her but d lady did not consented, she even told him never to come to her again, d man told his farmer friend his experience...tailor left 4 his base afta d festival... Later an aged woman invited dis farmr 4 a discussion n when he got 2 her she asked him about his wife or fianceé...none he replied...d woman said, dont u love d hairdresser? The farmer confided in d woman dat he loved her, but bc she is richer than him, he decided to leave her so dat sb who is rich as her and or richer dan her may get hooked to her... The woman asked him to try her dat he shdnt think dat way 4 who knows 2moro... The man then replied d woman dat his childhood friend, d tailor, d woman also knew dat guy, when he was around 4 d festival asked him about her, and dat he told him everything dat he knew about her, concluding dat she is a wife material...my friend went to her, but she did not consented, so if I now approached her, how wld it look? How wld my friend feel? What wil even be the thought of d lady? The woman said he shdnt think dat way, dat as a woman who had passed thru such stage, she knows women or ladies may love a friend but wouldnt love d oda friend..."ladies know whom dey want" she said...and maybe it is u dat d hairdresser loved, she asked him 2 try her... But wat wld be d reaction of my friend? A traitor? The woman said d lady did not even agree 2 ur friend's advances in d 1st place, so why d fear? And again, if ur friend is mature enof he wouldnt think dat way... Afta oda consultations, d farmer approached d lass...d lass too thought it was a set-up, so she consulted some elders in d land who took her to herbalists...all herbalists gotten to told her dat d farmer was her ordained husband by d gods of d land...but dat d problem d farmer had was dat he was afraid of d lady's status, her wealth, dat dat was why he introduced his friend 2 her to marry her so dat she wont fall into wicked hands...d herbalists added dat if she could be submissive to d farmer, she shall laugh last... The hairdresser went back 2 d farmer, asked him of his fianceé, d man replied dat he was yet on it,...d lady, hairdresser asked him dat if God says "I am d one, will u still marry me?" The man said certainly. Yes. And d woman said, she was ready 2 marry him...they started going out...and later got married...d rich tailor heard and was initially grieved...but later he got d details 4m a person, he was relieved..." So, I told my love, pls tell your friend to tell her spiritual leaders too for further clarifications...but such do happen occasionally...and d fact is, either she tells u d truth or not, she knows d person she loved most out of d duo...tell her to go for d person she loved most, d person who shall give her joy n rest..." other questions were asked...I attended her fellowship on sunde...d students were glad 2 have me in their midst..@ 15:00 hours am @ garage heading back 2 my base...got home around 18:00 hours...a lovely trip indeed dat enhances d continual flow of love's current...

TRANSLATIONS OF DIFFICULT WORDS

Sister Debbie says, "I do not know I can stop"...(July 6

th

, 2013)

buz' (translation business)

"O tún ti fẹ dá aáyun silẹ bayi", (translation I will start feeling your absence now)

"ó ga o"", (translation it is serious)

"Tara yin na la n sọ fun yin" (translation we are telling you what will be beneficial unto you)

"Ẹyin lẹ mọ...oju imọle ko kuro lọ́tí", (translation it is left to you…a muslim’s eyes does not leave beer (Muslims say it is a taboo for them to drink beer, but despite that the person is yet looking at the bottles/cups of beer (it is like a Proverb so to say that someone wants something but the person is behaving as if she or he doesn’t want that thing))

"dé"  (translation “de” means arrive. She is saying that her love has started to envy other males coming to her)

""Ẹyin laye yin shá, ẹ ti fẹ ma dẹru ba mi gan, ko ma tilẹ si nkan to mba yin lojiji"", (translation You. I am beginning to be afraid of you because it seems as if nothing cathches you unawares.)

"Rara ma. (translation No ma)

"Ẹ jọ" (translation Please) .

 "O ga ju"" (translation This is too much) he said. ""Ẹyin na la fi jọ" (translation In this, I have taken after you

"Ayò-ọlọ́pọ́n" (translation it is a local games played with local seeds. 12 holes will be dug/created on a plank of wood, in it the local seeds will be put, 4 seeds in each hole and it would be played to the right on both sides. However, in a hole with one or two seeds and the opposite person’s last seeds are dropped on those single or two seeds, the person is entitled to carry all the seeds in the opponents boxes/holes, meaning he won those… this is how it will continue until the seeds finished and the person with high number of seeds after the game is over is the winner)

Baba-Ijebu" (translation Ijebu Father (Ijebu is an area in the south western part of Nigeria, but there is a lottery in Nigeria being controlled by a man from that area, thus people are calling the lottery Ijebu Father)  

"Eh-ya, "ó pẹ́ to ti rí i gbẹhin"... "Ẹ ka bọ" (translation Oh sorry. It has been long you seen her last… welcome)

"Ẹ ku ile. Se alafia laba yin?" (translation. Thanks. I hope I meet you in peace?)

"Ẹyin tẹ fẹran isẹ oko bayi, ọrọ yin ma n ya mi lẹnu", (translation I am often surprised about some of You who do not like farm works or to go to farm)

"Tayò fun mi, awỌn ti mo n reti lo mbọ yẹn" (translation Play the game, those I am expecting are on their way)

"Gbà síbẹ̀, awọn to nreti ti de"" (translation Take this, this is the game of those being expected)  

"Ayò awọn to n reti leleyi o" (translation This is called the game of those being expected)  

"bi a se retí-retí ti eti lu lọjọsi niyẹn", (translation That is how we expected someone endlessly the other time but nothing)  

"Ma da wọN lohun a ò ni gba ki wọn o fi eti rire wọn ba aiye wa jẹ lorilẹ ede yi" (translation do not mind them, we will not allow them to spoil this nation and destroy our lives with expectation) .

 "Kilẹ wa fẹ se ti ẹ o bá gbà?" (translation What will you do if you don’t agree?)

"Olowo n sọrọ o ní o ní (translation a rich man is talking and you said you have)  

"Mi o mọ iru "ideases" ti olòsì fẹ ni lọdọ awọn olowo. (translation I don’t know the kind of idea a poor person will have before a rich person)  

"Ayò o olowo mo ba se mi o ba olosi se leleyi o...Ẹjọwọ se olówó lawọn ta n reti o?" (translation This is the game of I am a relative of a rich person… please are those people we are expecting rich?

, "mo ki òpè mo ki ọta o", (translation Regards to the champion and the losser) "Ope njẹ, ọta ti salọ sile baba rẹ". (translation Losser is answering or greeting you, but the champion has fled to his father’s house (the real answer should be champion is answering/replying you but the losser cannot or dare not talk))

"Ẹ kabọ sire, ẹ ku irin, se ọkọ ko jẹ epo?" (translation Welcome sir. How was the trip? I hope your vehicle does not consume fuel?)

chopulate" (translation consuming)

"a se o tilẹ gbọ Yoruba...o si ma pe ara rẹ lọmọ Oodua." (translation so you do not understand Yoruba and you will be calling yourself an Oodua or Yoruba child)

 Se o mọ wipe bi ọkọ ba ti njepo, ko gbádùn niyẹn? (translation don’t you know that when vehicle is consuming fuel it means the vehicle is not okay, the vehicle needs servicing)

ẹyin ti ẹ ti mọ isẹ dirẹba bayi, ayafi ki Ọlọrun gba wa lọwọ yin" (translation It is only God who will save us from those of you who are familiar with driver’s works)

"Ọrẹ́" (translation friend) ,

 "Iwọ tabi alaru rẹ? Ki i se ibiyi loni". (translation You or your servant? No way for you here today)  

""Se ayo to ti fẹrẹ pari yi?" (translation Is it this game or another

"na ni"" (translation is it)

"Ẹh-hẹn? (translation is that so?)

àbí ọrẹ" (translation isn’t that so my friend?) ,

"ọrẹ" (translation friend)

[asylum-ireland-blog]

Why men's voices are vital in Ireland's abortion referendum

New Post has been published on http://asylumireland.ml/why-mens-voices-are-vital-in-irelands-abortion-referendum/

Why men's voices are vital in Ireland's abortion referendum

Male allies in politics, the creative scene, and all walks of Irish life are stepping up alongside women to fight the system that oppresses them

‘Ireland Unfree’ is a Dazed mini-series telling the stories of Ireland’s bold fight for abortion rights, in the run up to the monumental referendum on the eighth amendment. Stirring protest, creativity, personal politics, and vital conversation, these Irish people push for autonomy. Here, we share their journey on Dazed.

The death of Savita Halappanavar in 2012 had an earth-swallowing feel to it. Denied of the basic healthcare required to ensure her survival, a constitutional amendment deemed her life – 31 years of complex human love, colour, and learning – of the same value as a 17-week-old fetus. She died in Ireland’s University Hospital Galway in Ireland due to the complications of a septic miscarriage. Her husband, Praveen, was dutifully left to channel her lost voice and carry her legacy on his already burdened shoulders.

On Friday May 25, Irish citizens will go to the polls to determine if the controversial Eighth Amendment of the Irish Constitution, which equates the right to life of the mother to the unborn, should be removed and repealed. The amendment, which criminalised abortion in almost all cases, was brought about as a result of a 1983 referendum, a time when the Catholic Church in Ireland was still very much an arm of government. Divorce was still illegal. Contraception was a taboo. Homosexuality remained outlawed.

The Irish man, of course, has no such lack of bodily freedom. Yet, about 70 per cent of Irish women who receive abortion care in the U.K. are married or with a partner. That is, conservatively speaking, thousands of fathers and partners that the Eighth Amendment has, too, bound to secrecy and shame.

Actor and author Emmet Kirwan – who last year created the beautiful spoken-word short film Heartbreak – views the redressing of Ireland’s wrongs broadly and disputes any sense of moral responsibility on individual men. “It’s not just a binary issue of males versus females: It’s an institutional issue,” he tells me. “Whether they be governmental, health, Church – all various arms of the state. There has been an institutionalised gender bias.”

On Irish streets, in local bars, on shop corners, through headlines painted across newspapers and hashtags proliferating via social media posts – there is a bitter political divisiveness that this debate has wrought, a clearly-defined chasm that calls other political ruptures of late to mind. No wonder there have been questions of sinister outside interference akin to the Cambridge Analytica scandal. In response, micro-campaigns have popped up all over social media – necessary conversation-sparking tools.

Ger Murphy, a 35-year-old events manager from South-Dublin, decided that Irish men needed to contribute to the dialogue around abortion rights. A conversation that, without question, needed their support. In late February, he founded the Men For Repeal Facebook page – ‘balls to the 8th’ is its light-hearted but defiant URL – after some troubling conversations about male engagement. Murphy sought to, at minimum, challenge the many outspoken men on the other side of the debate.

A large subset of the Irish male population, Murphy tells me over the phone, feel this is not their vote, that this a women’s issue that has no true bearing on their existence. Outside of the reality of crisis pregnancies which routinely affect women everyday, the idea that it’s a women-only issue is misguided, disingenuous, and, frankly, outdated. In truth, indifference largely translates as pro-choice.

“Whether they be governmental, health, Church – all various arms of the state. There has been an institutionalised gender bias” – Emmet Kirwan

“There is no problem in coming out and saying there is a male aspect to this issue. The vast amount of women would agree that the men in their lives are being affected as well,” Murphy says of the messaging. “The left trips over itself sometimes trying to be too PC about these things.”

Complacency is participating in neither debate nor democratic process, and it’s something to be concerned about. Kirwan, one of the most vocal Irish artists, explains there are no excuses for liberal-minded men eschewing their right to vote in the referendum: “The kind of passive, non-participation is essentially giving the vote over to the other side. This kind of idea that you can affect change by doing nothing; it’s a logical fallacy.”

Gordon Grehan of the Transgender Equality Network also tells me that repeal is “imperative to ensuring the rights of all people who can become pregnant, including trans men and non-binary people”. He adds: “As a trans organisation, we know the importance of ensuring self-determination, bodily integrity and physical autonomy.” As previously detailed in Brian O’Flynn’s report on the pro-choice campaign’s push for inclusivity, marginalised people like trans men who can get pregnant must be included in the conversation.

I’ve listened to women’s stories they deserve better. A No vote won’t stop abortions but continues the hypocrisy, shame and stigma. A Yes vote moves us to fairer, safer, more compassionate healthcare in Ireland. It’s our responsibility to put the hand out to our women. #men4yes

— Eamon Mc Gee (@EamonMcGee) April 24, 2018

So glad to see #men4yes emerge. I’m voting yes because, as a man, there is no medical procedure unavailable to me to protect my life or my health. I want the same for women.#TáDoMhná

— Aodhán Ó Ríordáin (@AodhanORiordain) April 24, 2018

Men For Repeal, along with Lads For Choice, have thrust the conversation of male engagement directly into the national discussion with Together For Yes, the campaign in favour of repeal. Through the #menforyes hashtag, men online have told their uniquely positioned and shared stories of loss, shame, and state-sanctioned oppression. One such story, which was posted by Men For Repeal’s Facebook page earlier this month, attributed to a man named Enda, illustrates the culture of shame embedded in Irish society.

Enda’s mother – empowered by his coming-out as gay – confided in him that she had an abortion pre-marriage, but for fear of judgement, had told just Enda and one of her sisters. “She’d felt sure that my grandfather would disown her for having sex outside of marriage and he died never knowing,” Enda writes. “I remember her saying she felt as if she was damaged goods with my own father, and had been terrified of telling him in case he no longer wanted to marry her.”

Elsewhere, Murphy alludes to meme culture (check the Ireland Simpsons Fans page for some of the best) and the use of internet spaces as a shareable access point for men, more so for those that are tentative or unsure about their place in a large, fast-moving campaign. Murphy’s resourcefulness also helped him develop a video series where male musicians cover female artists.

via Ireland Simpsons Fans

Creativity in the arts has propelled much of Ireland’s political movements, and the Repeal Project is a major example. The monochromatic sweatshirt – simple, inclusive, and unisex – is boldly inscribed with ‘Repeal’, now iconic in Irish millennial culture as a statement of aesthetic defiance. Repeal founder Anna Cosgrave recently guest edited local music and culture magazine District with the ‘Men’s Issue’ of its Dublin City Guide. The issue profiles male Irish allies across sport, music, film, and politics. Dance music magazine and online community Four Four has been passionately supportive of repealing the 8th on its pages.

Dublin’s vibrant young music scene sees lyrics that continue to reflect Ireland’s bewildering reality, from DIY punk to burgeoning R&B. Rising Dublin hip-hop act, KOJAQUE, recently rapped: “Sovereign state; they’d rather see my mother bleed out than build a clinic.” Elsewhere in the fashion world, designer Richard Malone has been an outspoken supporter for repeal, taking over Selfridges’ window display to write messages of support. In a powerful open letter for Vogue, Malone describes the “infuriating and unjust treatment of women” he has witnessed at home, the misinformed, Catholic-based education about sex and abortion he and his generation received, and the social and class structures that hinder women’s right to choose. “We have to use our vote to speak for ourselves and for the generation of young people coming directly behind us,” he writes, “who remain voiceless in the votes on their future.”

Toxic masculinity is seriously affecting Irish young men’s mental health, sexuality, and attitudes towards sex, the latter manifesting itself in one of the most widely reported and divisive public trials in Irish history: the rape case involving Ulster Rugby stars Paddy Jackson and Stuart Olding.

The voice of brusque social sensibility in Ireland today, Blindboy Boatclub of Irish comedy duo Rubberbandits is in equal parts an absurdist and a realist. He’s become an unofficial spokesperson for these disenfranchised young men, men who accounted for 80 per cent of Irish suicides last year. With one of the highest percentages of teen suicide in Europe, a silent epidemic pulses through Irish society.

During a revealing 2016 interview on Ireland’s The Late Late Show, Blindboy asserted that feminism is, in fact, a remedy for male-centric mental health issues and toxic masculinity, something that rings through with this referendum and long afterwards. “I have nothing to offer a woman, I have nothing,” he says of young men’s attitudes in Limerick, his native city. “How am I supposed to provide for a woman? The fact of the matter, is that that is a patriarchal attitude that is no longer relevant to us in the 21st century.” Blindboy has become a pivotal voice in the movement; utilising social media and his increasingly popular podcast to speak to men directly. His recent book, The Gospel According to Blindboy, delves deeply into such issues – he’s a leader, and a cultural reckoning force behind the pro-choice movement.

In a more recent filmed conversation with Cillian Murphy, Blindboy and the actor rallied for men to excercise their right to vote. “Men and women are both custodians of this society…we need to go out and support women,” Cillian Murphy said.

For too long, Irish women have been defined by their struggle. Those single mothers, those women who claim asylum under Ireland’s dehumanizing Direct Provision system, women of disparate colours and backgrounds, those with varying sexual identities and disabilities: it’s a vote for all women, and now isn’t a time that men can be complacent or indifferent. May 25 gifts Irish citizens – men equally – the opportunity to right one of our nation’s great wrongs. Though cis men will never know what it is like to carry a pregnancy, men are inextricably linked to this upcoming referendum. Men have a duty to engage with, support, and amplify female voices and stories so that an experience like Savita and Praveen’s is never relived again.

, http://www.dazeddigital.com/politics/article/40058/1/why-mens-voices-are-vital-in-irelands-abortion-referendum

[o-verklempt-blog]

r a z ó n

The moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew you were special. I knew you were going to be special, but I never thought it’d reach this extent. You talked with so much passion, I couldn’t help but be drawn towards you. At that moment, you were simply too hard to resist. But I did. I guess love had other plans for me back then. Months later, the universe led us here. It brought me back to a place where I had subtle memories of you and for a split second I thought it was possible to fall in love with strangers. I honestly did not see this coming. I was a hopeless wreck - fragile and broken, always putting everything on the line and I thought I knew better now. Then,you happened. You entered my life like a lightning bolt and my heart suddenly wanted to risk everything all over again. I don’t know what it was, but I swore I saw myself deep within your eyes. Somewhere between your uncertain, piercing, sometimes shy gazes, I saw myself. I’ve been admiring you from afar for a while now and I can say it’s much better up close. Yes, it’s risky and a bit dangerous, but it’s clearer and more honest. And I guess I admired you more. I am content with being friends with you right now, but I’m eager to know more. I owe you one, because during the times I was helpless and hopeless and broken and unwilling to go on - you’ve given me something beyond compare Something I badly needed during those trying times. You’ve given me reason.  cjr.